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Headcanon for the Bats:

Bruce: Jason, do you know where Tim is?

Jason: No, last I heard from him, he was busy, with his duck army.

Bruce: Right, thank-

Bruce:

Bruce: Did you say.. ‘duck army’?

Jason: Yeah, Damian made some snide comment about him being “Thankfully, the sole survivor of the Drake lineage”, so he went and adopted some ducks.

Bruce:

Jason: Bought a sanctuary for them and everything, even named one after each of us, except the demon brat, though.

Bruce: Oh.. that’s nice of him?..

Bonus:

Tim: Oh, there you are, Bruce, Jason, I have something to show you.

Tim, holds up two ducks, a reddish brown duck, that’s attempting to bite a calm, all black duck, in Tim’s other hand: Meet, Jason Cathrine Drake, and Bruce Thomas Drake.

Jason, looks at his duck alternate: He’s perfect.

Bruce: *touched*

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i’m so glad earth only has one moon, if there were more i’d have to pick a favorite and that sounds too emotionally taxing to even fathom

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Just wondering if they'd have been friends ~ @miasonwing

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Civilian Tim AU

Tim: *Deciding to seduce The Red Hood.* I am a native Gothamite. I haven't thought through a single decision I have ever made and I'm damn sure not about to start now.

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Stripper jason dating CEO Timmy :X

Big thank you to @galkyrie for indulging my midnight jaytim brainworms, helping me make sense of them and adding more to it. This is basically me putting together our convo, so not much of a fic.

FYI, for those who care about this: This AU ended up being switch because we can't help ourselves hence why I tagged both jaytim and timjay. Generally my AUs are more vague on that regard but on this one there's mention of both dynamics so figured, fair warning on this one.

They met at a small party thrown by Dickie and Kory (dating or married idk, whatever fits your fancy) for Dickie’s birthday. Tim is like a little brother to Dick and by extension, to Kory. Jay is close friends with Roy and Kory.

Somehow Tim and Jay had never crossed paths before; with Tim taking over higher responsibilities at the company because his father is ready to retire and leave it all up to him - he is proud of his son and despite whatever Tim says, Jack knows his son is more than ready - Tim has been busy and barely had time to socialize and well, have a life out of work.

They start talking, they hit it off pretty well. Somehow what they do for a living didn’t come up in their conversation because they were too busy talking about their hobbies, Star Trek, AngBang (Sauron has a ship and Jason couldn’t stop talking about it) and  whether or not smore’s count as dinner.

They exchanged numbers but Tim never got to call him again until one night he saw him performing at the club. It was Tim’s birthday and as a surprise, his friend dragged him to a popular stripclub. Roy worked as a bartender there so he’d slip them free drinks every now and then.

When the show started, the room went crazy. Apparently, Jason was very popular and indeed, he was amazing. At some point Jason actually noticed him and even waved at him while he was spinning on the pole.

Steph: I’m sorry… did Mr. Beefcake actually waved at you!? 

Tim: Looks like it

Steph: YOU KNOW HIM?

Tim: Well, remember that guy I told you about that I kinda liked, mayyyybe had a little crush on?...

Steph: YOUR CRUSH IS A STRIPPER?

Tim: I DIDN’T KNOW THAT PART!

Tim was a bit embarrassed and figured it was probably for the best that he never called him to ask him out, as he saw Jay work and all his audience ogling over him… he didn't know how he felt about dating a stripper. Plus, who knows if he’d even be interested… he must have many people behind him and flirting and looking like a sin incarnate is part of his job.

They met again out of work but Jay didn't even want to talk to him again because he figured Tim was just another uptight asshole who just judged Jay for his job so he didn't call him again and avoided him. Tim felt like a real asshole and figured it didn't harm to be friends... Jay was really cool and Tim enjoyed his time with him. Tim apologized for how he came through at the beginning.

Since then, they became friends, sometimes they would text or meet for coffee. It’s not dating - he tells himself-  and every time he’d make a stop by the stripclub to grab a drink, hang out with Roy and Kory at the bar, ~~maybe catch a glimpse of Jay as he danced, flirted and got flirted back~~ he was always reminded of it.

Sometimes he’d get a lapdance himself. What’s the harm…nothing is gonna happen anyway. But oddly enough they’d mostly talk about their day. Tim would be the kind of guy that would sit on his hands to not touch and Jason found it really cute. He enjoyed teasing the little guy.

Other times, Tim pays for a private room/dance to give Jay an hour break from being on the floor, because he notices he is tired. Jason was surprised at first because he thought Tim was finally pulling moves on him but nope, instead he wants nothing but to give him a break and spend time with him, pulling his laptop to watch Star Trek since Jason hadn’t watched it and was interested. Jason just kept falling and falling for Tim’s little gestures. He knew Tim found him attractive, it was obvious, but he was always the proper guy, never making any advances, just making Jason feel cared… which WAS WORSE! because he was starting to imagine it was Tim instead of those men or women who’d he’d dance for. Jay just wanted Tim to fucking snap and fuck him senseless in that stupid couch from the private room. Meanwhile, Tim was starting to finally stop being in denial and was working out the courage to ask Jay on a date because he knows he caught feelings hard.

The next time Tim paid for a private dance, Jay was having none of it. He was going to put on a show and was determined to make Tim snap. 

Jason, rolling his hips so his abs are almost brushing Tim's face: who'd think a CEO would be so timid … (Art here )

All the while Tim’s hands are hovering over his skin and not yet touching. Jason's kind of expecting him to get aggressive, or super eager, once he does touch him, but Tim's almost reverent when his fingertips brush along his outer thighs. Tim really -really- wanted to ask Jason out first but he is just about to lose it. And he does, eventually, snap and fuck Jason senseless on the couch. While they are cuddling Tim finally tells him he has been meaning to work up the courage to ask him out... Tim just tells him he wants to date him for real, he deserves to be dined and wined and maybe they are doing all this out of order… and Jason doesn't know how to respond because how is this man so damn cute and yet so savage. Jason asks him if he is sure… he doesn’t want this to be a on-time thing but he’d understand. Most of his previous lovers have ended quickly because they tried to pull the “savior” card, couldn’t get past what he does for a living and he doesn’t have plans to change this for anyone. But Tim is sure, he thought about what this means and he really wants to try if Jay will have him. Tim brings Jason flowers when he picks him up for the date and opens his car door for him. Just total romantic shit that Jason should be too jaded to fall for, but...it's Tim.

So it works on him, because he's already gone on Tim.

By the fourth course Jason's already daydreaming about peeling Tim out of his fancy suit and having his way with him on whatever stupid fancy couch he has at his penthouse. When they get back to Tim's place and Jason eases himself onto the couch and pats his lap like: I think it's your turn to be the one in my lap Tim: hope I don't need to dance because let me tell you already, I suck. But Jay walks him through it, gives him directions and suddenly Tim is taking orders. He finds he likes giving away control if its Jay.

For a while they were dating secretly but it was just because Tim didn't want the inevitable attention on their relationship and wanted to have privacy for them to develop their relationship first. He respected Jay’s job, he did it because he liked it and he was certainly amazing at it - but then Tim realized Jay might not be ok with Tim always introducing him as a friend even among their close friends because he thinks Tim is ashamed so he took Jay as his date to a Wayne gala. And of course people around Tim take it as a license to badmouth Jay and mock Tim by insinuating they had seen all there is to Jay (since some of them apparently went to the strip club Jay worked at). Jay was actually very charmed with Tim because unlike other boyfriends he’s had, Tim didn’t try to make him quit his job. Truly it took a lot from Tim at the beginning to get used to Jay dancing and everyone ogling over him… sometimes some men or women would recognize him while they were on a date and talk so amicably with him essentially ignoring Tim’s presence…but Tim focused on the fact that only Tim got to see how Jay sang while he cooked; how he genuinely laughed like a dork; how he screamed Tim’s name when he reached climax, how he slept like a starfish, etc, and slowly found he loved that more than any jealousy or insecurity he could feel.

and if you missed it, timjay art here

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or you could’ve just asked him out like a normal person but noooo

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ok so this one’s more batfam then jaytim but it’s all i had for the prompt, my brain has dried out of ideas after this week :’)

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don't destroy his self-esteem 🐦😆

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happy birthday, nao 🎂🦊

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Patreon sketches/studies from last year 🎾| Ko-fi 💕

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hii! omg i loved ur "2d vb bf writes fanfic abt u" fic! is it possible for u to write a pt 2 for that? (only if it's not too much trouble ofc) have a nice day [or night] ( ´ ω ` )

I do not have a squeal post planned, but hopefully this shall suffice 🤍

𝗜𝗻 𝗔𝗻 𝗔𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲: 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝟮𝗗 𝗩𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝘆𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗕𝗙 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘀 𝗙𝗮𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂

18+ Only

gn!reader x haikyuu, humor, satire, masturbation

(part 1 found here)

✷ Lurker. Clears his browsing and search history after every fic binge. Absolutely no one can know of his shame. Cringes at himself for being such a simp.

ASAHI, Kenma, Yamaguchi, IWAIZUMI, Kindaichi, Yaku

✷ Gets genuinely upset when he reads something he thinks mischaracterizes you. Vague-posts about it. Stews on it for days.

Ennoshita, Yamamoto, Yahaba, SAKUSA, Oikawa, Sugawara, Semi, Ukai, Atsumu, SHIRABU

✷ Will read anything with your name in it. Does not give a fuck if it's OOC. Is willing to imagine you any type of way. The brainrot is real.

TANAKA, Makki, Koganegawa, BOKUTO, Goshiki, Terushima

✷ Reblogs with a full on meltdown in the tags. Leaves paragraph comments on AO3. Keyboard mash king. Cries when he gets the "you've already left kudos here" message.

Atsumu, SUGAWARA, Lev, Oikawa

✷ Horny but doesn't touch himself. Squirms and maybe whimpers a little bit while reading. Face contorts when he reads a particularly juicy line.

KITA, Asahi, HINATA, Kenma, OSAMU, Yaku

✷ Horny and touches himself. Maybe just palming himself through his pants. Or full on hand pumping while imagining it's you as he reads.

Sugawara, Suna, Atsumu, TERUSHIMA, Tendou, OIKAWA, Noya, Makki

✷ Has to set the mood to read fanfiction. Puts on a reading playlist. Turns down the lights. Makes himself a cup of coffee. Lights a candle. Cozy clothes.

AKAASHI, Aone, Akiteru, Kai, Osamu, Daishou

✷ Will shamelessly read fanfiction anywhere. On public transport. In class. While hanging out with friends. At the dinner table. Zero fucks given.

MAKKI, MATTSUN, Suna, Bokuto, Terushima, Tendou, Kageyama, Kunimi

✷ Complains about the fanon version of you but won't write his own content. Has only a select few authors he'll read content from.

Kyoutani, DAISHOU, Osamu, Hoshiumi, Hirugami, Yahaba

✷ Can't or won't read anything over 500 words.

KAGEYAMA, NOYA, Hinata, Hoshiumi, Ushijima, Kenma, Kunimi

✷ Sets an entire night aside to read a 60k+ multi-chapter slowburn.

Kuroo, UKAI, Asahi, Sugawara, AONE, Ennoshita, Shirabu

✷ Just freezes after he's done reading a fic. Stares at the screen while trying to process his feelings. Has to remind himself to breathe. Blinks blankly.

Tsukki, AKAASHI, Kita, Kenma, Daichi, Akiteru, Aran, Hirugami, Suna

✷ Makes audible noise if something he reads catches him by surprise and gives him any kind of strong feeling. Sometimes has to read with a hand over his mouth to keep himself quiet.

Aran, Asahi, Hinata, Yaku, LEV, Iwa, Semi, AKITERU, Komori, Kageyama, Kindaichi, Osamu

✷ Finds himself reading the reader's lines out loud. Maybe even acts out some of the scenes a little (especially angsty fight dialogue). Don't let the theatre majors know how good he is.

Akaashi, ATSUMU, Oikawa, YAMAMOTO, TANAKA, Tendou, Hoshiumi

✷ Blushes like mad. Screams into his hand. Bites fist. Makes vocalized keyboard mash sounds. Squeezes his phone to the point of shaking.

YAMAGUCHI, Kuroo, Atsumu, Goshiki, BOKUTO

✷ Can read with a completely straight face from start to finish. Maybe his brows will raise just a little bit for a second at the good parts. Otherwise anyone who saw would think he's reading some dull news article.

USHIJIMA, Daichi, TSUKKI, KUNIMI, Kita, Mattsun, Kyoutani, Ukai

✷ Sends smut to his friends. "Here, I read this porn and thought of you." He's everybody's favorite friend.

Tendou, Akaashi, MAKKI, Fukunaga, SUNA, Kuroo, Koganegawa

✷ Has actually woken up family members or roommates from screaming, choking, and wheezing with laughter at some headcanons.

Hinata, NOYA, FUTAKUCHI, Tendou, KUROO, ATSUMU, Osamu, Komori, Oikawa, Makki, Tanaka, Sugawara

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this is unfortunately really funny to me

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hey im new here does hinata live at the end of hq?

during the olympics oikawa spikes a ball directly into his head using his full force, killing him instantly.

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Got any life advice?

yep

cheat in solitaire.

listen to the world.

make up your own gods and pray to them.

think about chuck e cheese.

stare at a wall.

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Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

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“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”