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I wasn’t built to be employed. I need to stay up until 4 am like a normal person

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god made me bisexual because he knew it wouldn't make a difference

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when you save alarms for specific things but then you just keep reusing them. like sure wake me up at the chocolate milk alarm, what do i care

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forgot until just now that when i went to the grocery store today i turned down the oil/vinegar aisle and there was a store employee stocking the shelf and he said "welcome to the land of wonders" to me for some reason

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forgot until just now that when i went to the grocery store today i turned down the oil/vinegar aisle and there was a store employee stocking the shelf and he said "welcome to the land of wonders" to me for some reason

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i hate the part of depression that’s like all the things that bring me joy are empty and i can’t do anything. like come on bitch i know you love book can you just be happy about book :/

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one of the top ten worst sensory feelings? drinking something and accidentally spilling it directly into your cleavage instead of your mouth. for those without boobs, i know this sounds like a comically impossible infomercial situation but it actually happens a lot ok

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some highlights from hugh grant answering the proust questionnaire in vanity fair.

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yeah

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they did not call me any particular nickname in college because I did not have any characteristics or traits

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observing decorative apple

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not right now kitten mommy's heavily encumbered

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new york freakin city baby