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jumpedoff replied to your post: // REMINDER:  I LOVE AND SUPPORT @gaveanxiety /...

i love u

// i lavah u 2

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// REMINDER:  I LOVE AND SUPPORT @gaveanxiety / @jumpedoff / @mindshatters WITH ALL MY HEART.

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// god, do i feel so absolutely and completely worthless.  :/

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// sigh.

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cuddly / platonic-ish memes

“your feet are cold.”

“movies are made for watching, not for asking questions.”

“you’re hogging the blankets!”

“we should cuddle… for warmth.”

“is that your hand on my leg?”

“scoot over.”

“can we watch something else? this is scary.” 

“are you shivering?” 

“if you start snoring, i won’t be responsible for what happens to you.”

“did you eat all the popcorn?”

“your hair keeps getting in my face.”

“are you even wearing pants??”

“stop kicking me!”

“you’re a good pillow.”

“do i look like a foot-rest to you?”

“do i look like a pillow to you?”

“i’m cold.”

“why can’t you ever just lay still?”

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gaveanxiety replied to your post: gaveanxiety replied to your post: ...

nahhh, if someone wants to come @ me about something, they can. it hasn’t turned negative yet so i think it’ll be fine

// well, yeah, true.  true.

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gaveanxiety replied to your post: gaveanxiety replied to your post: ...

someone literally sent me an ask about my friend and i dating like ?? i mean, we kind of.. are ?? bUT STILL ?? why they up in my business

// they’re fishing for some reason.  that’s my best guess.  probably got a crush and want clarity or some junk, too scared to come forward themselves.  probs.  might want to turn your anon off too, be careful.  

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gaveanxiety replied to your post: so it's official then. you and @mindshatters are...

why are people so creepy omg

// iDEK??

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so it's official then. you and @mindshatters are dating, right?

// i gotta wonder where these strange af anons come from.  okay, back the truck up here nonnie ---- it’s true, i do love xavier loads and loads, and i am not ashamed to admit thus, but that doesn’t mean we’re dating.  it just means i’m hella supportive and will be here for them whenever they need me.  because that’s what you do.  that’s what good, though ever-so-slightly oddball people like me do, anyway.  boy, you guys are nosy af.  go get your gossip elsewhere, ya dingbat.  also, i’m fairly clueless as to why it’s official, with this one out-of-the-blue ask.  i’m gonna be turning off anon now, thanks for that.  creep.

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// older version of josiah might be timothée chalamet?  maybe?

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Thank you for loving @gaveanxiety so much. Even just seeing the positivity on my dash made me happy.

// wow, i didn’t see this come up in my notifications.  sorry ‘bout answering this late, nonnie!  but there’s really no need to thank me, as i am thankful for having @gaveanxiety / @mindshatters in my life.  xavier is wonderful and the world deserves to know this, not only that, but just how much i love and support them.  that’s something that will never change and it’s nothing but my pleasure to give the dash a bit of joy.  in fact, that’s something i’m doing right now!!  <3  but, thank you nonnie, that was sweet of you.  xoxo

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HEAR YE, HEAR YE!

so.  

there's this very special person in my life.

a few years ago, i was writing scott mccall ( everyone's favorite sunshine boy ) on another platform.  before i more or less, came here.  i happened to meet a stiles stilinski and we had lots of fun, writing and chatting, though back then said person was hella teasing.  then again, given the character, makes sense ---- right?

we texted over google talk a lot.  chatted on aim.  got pretty close.  that's what happens.

we lost contact for a bit but there was good reasoning there.  

when we finally got back to one another, it was like nothing had changed.  like time hadn't gone by.  i've always cared deeply for said person and continue to do so as of this day; though i'm not the best one to give advice, i still want to be there for them.  to let them know i'm here.  that i care.  that i'll continue to care.  

they've always been known as the stiles to my scott.  

no matter what muses we undertake.  no matter what fandoms we enter into.  

the truth remains:  xavier is a fucking treasure.  okay?  you need them in your life.  like, all the time.  xavier is beyond wonderful and i really can't reiterate enough how much i love.  this has been a positivity shout out featuring @gaveanxiety / @mindshatters.

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LOOK.  I’M GONNA DROP THE MIC.  I LOVE XAVIER.  THERE.  I SAID IT.

// oh?  you knew that already?  well.  here it is again.  know why?  ‘cause it’s still very much the truth.  xoxo  ---- @gaveanxiety / @mindshatters !

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// have i mentioned just how much i love @mindshatters / @gaveanxiety?  because i do.  i love xavier with everything in me.  <3

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mindshatters replied to your post “@mindshatters made me do it!        All day long he’s felt sick....”

oh my god kelly

i’m not sorry, i saw that post you made, and like, my muse guided me the entire way ---- i was literally in tears while typing.

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@mindshatters made me do it!

       All day long he's felt sick.  Sick to his stomach.  Now, Josiah has always been slight in stature.  Lanky, if you will.  He wasn't able to handle school.  He fell flat on everything.  His father had promised ---- promised ---- that he'd drive them to the Hospital as soon as Josiah was home.  Something was wrong.  Terribly wrong and the young astronomer knew it.  He complained to the nurse that he had a stomach ache and wanted to go home.  He didn't look well, so the nurse agreed.  His father came to get him.  

       ❝—P-P--Puh----Please.❞  It's all he can manage.  His father knows how worried his boy is.  He makes a small stop to get some food along the way, but other than that ---- it's a direct route to the Hospital.  It seems quieter, too quiet, the silence made him numb.  Usually, Josiah's father drops him off and then will be back when visiting hours are over.  Josiah has special permission through Jax's mother.

       He's allowed to come directly after school, a whole two hours ahead of typical.  Visiting hours are usually from 5:00 to 8:00.  The medical staff know him by now and how much he means to Jax and vice-versa, so on Fridays and Saturdays, he's allowed to stay an extra hour.  As a special "treat".  He honestly feels bad when he can't make it.  Because being there with Jax for those five hours is so mainstay.  

       Now, naturally ---- Jax is not always in the Hospital.  Sometimes he doesn't need to be.  But as of late, Jax had been there daily.  He doesn't like to do it ---- but last week he had to skip two whole days.  They texted back and forth, but it just wasn't the same.  Nothing.  NOTHING should be a priority over Jax.  Nothing will be ever again.  He's going to make sure of that.  

       This time his father parked and they both headed into the Hospital together.  With Josiah leading the way.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as he wandered onto the floor and made his way for the room.  Jax's room was at the end of the hall, last door before the exit.  He had the largest suite.  It was also a private room.  The young male made quicker footfalls than he regularly did and nearly collided with Jax's mother.

       ❝Oh, Josiah.  I was just going ----.❞

       She was standing right in the doorway.  Like she was blocking it.  Josiah could already feel his blood running cold.  The room was dark.  There was no animation to it.  Josiah's father stepped up beyond Josiah, but he made no approach.  His heart was caving in.  

       No.

       No.  No.

       No.  No.   NO.

       ❝He's-----He----.❞  The words died on his lips.  

       A sad, tearful nod is given.  ❝He was so looking forward to seeing you today.  He wanted to ---- somehow he knew ---- and he wanted to wait.  He wanted his last moment to be with you.  But his poor body just couldn't hold on so.❞

       Josiah breaks then.  Tears pouring down his cheeks.  He scuttled around Jax's mother and for the bed.  He was still laid out.  His tiny body cradled on his right side.  Trembling hands reach, touching the chilled frame before him.  A quiet whimper shakes him.  He didn't make it.  He didn't get to see him that one last time.  Knees were preparing to buckle under him.

       ❝JAX.❞  It's bloodcurdling, screaming for him to come back, to still be there. 

       Clutching the lifeless hand, he falls then.  Drops to the icy floor.  Inconsolible.  Neither parent can bring themselves any closer.  They let Josiah grieve.  Rolling his lips into his mouth, he slips the wrist band from Jax's wrist and folds it into his hands.  His heart absolutely aches.  He didn't want to go to school today, why hadn't he tried harder?  If he had been here, everything could have been different.

       ❝—JAX!❞

       ❝JAX, PLEASE COME BACK TO ME.❞  It's gut-wrenching.

       The world has never been darker.

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josiah loves jax.  he’ll hold his hand through the scary times.  and the painful.  and the painfully scary.  he’ll just hold his hand.  with literally no excuse.  other than wanting to.