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Come on everyone, there's still time to let Team Cherry know they can still cancel the game! #CancelSilksongNOW

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overheard these two guys talking and they're like. very obviously cowboys and one of them goes "man when I was young I used to think everyone had horses I didn't even know there were ppl w/o horses" and the other one goes "shows how horseified we are"

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SILKSONG

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the average person with bad taste can be into some extremely banal garbage but when you get close enough to someone with otherwise good taste that they start a recommendation by going off on a preamble about how they don't necessarily recommend it you know you're seconds away from hearing about some real torturously wretched dogshit

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[covered in blood] i have achieved various menial tasks milady

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u know tht moment when theyre choking u n u start squirming a bit bc maybe ur starting to run out of air n they just stare down at u w tht same disinterested fascination as a child frying an ant under a magnifying glass n u start clawing at their hands bc now u rly cant breathe n ur heart starts going fast n u realize u have no reason to believe tht they would loosen their grip this time n maybe there is a part of them tht wants to watch the blood vessels in ur eyes pop n feel ur body twitch under them as ur heart slows but then they let go n ur head is so full of love tht u want to kiss them n give them anything they want for letting u live. it is so very important to my well being n existence

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Character commission for @soulkius !

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My grandma’s on and off again boyfriend that she cheated on grandpa with died today.

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year of the snake 🐍

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pro tip you can just grab a bunch of random parts from dumpsters and hardware stores and computer stores and just attach them together haphazardly and then put it in your suitcase and take it to the airport and get arrested pretty much 100% of the time

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Tip: you can put extra butter on your potatoes to increase your chances of going up a cup size

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i can't get into the sexy mechsploitation pilot stuff cause i know for a fact that wouldn't be me. i get the appeal of imagining oneself as some emancipated little battle-dancer hollowed out by years of martial brutality but this universe's economy needs freighter captains and the fact is that i have the body and temperament of a clydesdale so there's no WAY they wouldn't scoop me up for long-hauling

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me after planking so long im shaking and dripping sweat: This is it. I'm at my limit

angel on my shoulder: keep pushing! you can do this!

me: :/

devil on my shoulder: Imagine a beautiful woman sitting on your back.

me: Okay, I can go at least another minute.