stephn101

[stephn101]

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-a-student-in-crisis-urgent-family-medical-bills/cl/o?v=amp14_t2&utm_campaign=man_sharesheet_tip&utm_content=amp13_t1-amp14_t2&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link&lang=en_AU&attribution_id=sl%3A6bd1632a-2bc5-4276-9a0f-8119a9463f48&ts=1752275654

[stephn101]

Alfred: Bruce what do you have?

Bruce: A kid!

Alfred: No!

[stephn101]

[Family Meeting]

Bruce: I'd like to adress the sudden rise in animosity the villains have shown towards Robin.

Jason, just back from a mission: [leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed] more than usual you mean?

Tim: A lot more.

Dick: Dami has recently decided to forget what the villains are called.

Jason: I- wait what?

Damian: [imperiously] I simply decided that memorising the names of criminals was an ineffective use of my cognitive faculties. Better I recall their behavioural patterns.

Jason: What exactly did you do?

-

Riddler: [appears dramatically in a puff of smoke] Well well, if it isn't the little bird?

Robin: [coldly] Question man.

Riddler:

Riddler: It's "the Riddler"

Robin: Who cares?

Riddler: [sputtering]

-

Robin: [drops down from the ceiling to interrupt a meeting between Penguin and his people]

Penguin: Great. It's the boy annoyance.

Robin: [cordially] Birdman.

Penguin: I beg your pardon?!

Robin: [without inflection] My apologies. I have come to arrest you, Mister Mumble.

Penguin: Out of all the movies you could have insulted me with-

-

Poison Ivy: Oh my, looks like a little birdie has come for a visit.

Harley Quinn: [grinning] Nice of you to drop in tweety

Robin: [nods to Ivy] Daisy. [to Harley] Miss Mime

Ivy: what

Harley: [cracks her knuckles]

-

Robin: [throws a batarang at clayface]

Clayface: great. a mosquito.

Robin: ...[with distaste] There is no need for insults, Mudpie.

Clayface: ...

-

Robin: [calling in an arrest] Yes, I have apprehended Toto.

Scarecrow: [tied up nearby] Hey!

-

Joker: [Sees Robin swinging down in the middle of a hostage situation] Oh look! it's the cavalary...'s pet.

Robin: [cordially] Mr Quinzel.

Joker:

Joker: Wh-

Robin: You are Harley's husband correct?

Joker: [furious] no!

Robin: My apologies then. I shall endeavor to use your proper name... ... [frowning] Mrs? You are wearing make-up. Is that it? Mrs Quinzel? I did not mean to assume.

Joker: [frothing at the mouth]

-

[back at the meeting]

Tim: to be fair he only does it when they misname HIM.

Damian: I have a name. It is rude not to use it.

Bruce: Damian. There has been seven attempts on your life this week alone. Stop.

Damian: no

Bruce: [grinds his teeth]

Dick: Actually, what ARE Joker's preferred pronouns? Has anyone asked?

Jason: [munching down a power bar] It's Fuckface McKidkiller

[stephn101]

[on a rooftop stakeout]

Jason: [pulling some sandwiches and a thermos out of his backpack] In the spirit of "fuck your bullshit I'll do it myself" I've decided to become president next term

Tim: Like president of the whole country?

Jason: [sarcastically] No, like the president of my home owner's association. Yes the whole country

Tim: [thoughtful] well you do have enough blood money to fund the campaign

Jason: and enough guns to win it

Tim: I really don't like the implications of that statement, but I'm too swamped right now to get involved so I'm just going to ignore it

Jason: [handing a sandwich to Tim] my platform will be "get a grip" and my campaign slogan is "I get shit done"

Tim: You sure you don't want to go with "I've already proved that I know how to run a criminal empire"

Jason: [considering] Maybe. But I should probably insert an "efficiently" in there somewhere. Pander to the middle class, ya know?

Tim: That's true

Jason: Anyway, I just need to figure out my green initiative and then I'm ready to go

Tim: [biting into his sandwich] you know you're too young to run, right?

Jason: Why is that though?

Tim: Well you haven't lived long enough to be 35 yet so-

Jason: No, I mean, why is there an age limit? You're a 17 year old CEO of a multi billion dollar company but I can't be president? That's bullshit

Tim: [opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again]

Tim: I... don't know

Jason: So will Wayne Enterprises back me?

Tim: You know what? Throw in some gay rights and a sensible international policy and I'm in

Jason: wait, really?

Tim: Last month Bruce told me that I was too young to understand financial politics and honestly I've been looking for a way to get back at him. I'll write you a check tomorrow.

Jason: sweet

Tim and Jason: [munching on their sandwiches in companionable silence]

Tim: do you really have an HOA?

Jason: oh, yeah, they're horrible

Tim: why don't you just run for president there?

Jason: You think I have the fortitude to bring down Becky? She's made of spite and 90 dollar hand lotion and she was forged in a black friday sale.

Jason: I'm pretty sure she's immortal because I think she died once but stormed back out of hell after telling the devil she was going to give him a bad yelp review for sub-par service.

Tim:

Tim: [clears his throat] So the white house, huh?

Jason: I'm gonna have it painted pink

[stephn101]

#MERLIN

Do you know how many situations would be resolved quickly and without a mess if they all (Arthur, Gaius, Uther) listened to Merlin's instincts the first time he tried to warn them?

Seriously, the episode would be previously on...

theme song...

Merlin warns them something is off...

They listen, the first time

*closing credits*

DONE!

[stephn101]

DUMBBELL WORKOUT!! This is for the ladies who wanted a minimal equipment workout 😁 . Alternating straight leg raise - 16 reps Bent over row - 12 reps Bicep curl - 12 reps Bent leg jackknife - 12 reps Squat, curl and press - 12 reps Reverse lunge - 16 reps Straight leg sit up - 12 reps Goblet squat - 12 reps . Try 3-4 rounds !! www.kaylaitsines.com/app https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo-hIakFS_r/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1nbs0yhwyl08e

[stephn101]

Damian Wayne 🎃

   Tim bit his bottom lip to muffle a laugh, zooming in on his younger brother, standing in the manor’s kitchen with an entire pumpkin stuck on his head. It was going on his snapchat story for sure.

   “How did this happen, again?” Dick was asking, leaning back on the kitchen island, arms crossed, regarding his littlest brother with an expression somewhere between total bewilderment and amusement.

   Damian, crossing his arms in an exact copy of the older boy, huffed. “The how is not important. Just help me get it off.”

   “He was trying to scare Jon.” Jason answered for him, rooting through the kitchen as if the best thing to happen in months wasn’t unfolding five feet away from him.

   “I was not!” Damian snapped, his voice muffled slightly by the massive gourd on his head.

   “Then you just fell into the pumpkin?” Tim asked, trying and failing to hide the glee in his voice.

   Damian, who had gone back to trying to pull the pumpkin off of his head, went still, and Tim could almost see the gears working in his head. Admit to childish antics, or admit that he wasn’t totally perfect all of the time and had fallen.

   “Shut up, Drake.”

   “All right, all right.” Dick sighed, waving his hands in the air and moving between them as if little mister pumpkin-head would have been able to fight Tim anyway. “Let’s get you out of there before you suffocate or something.”

[stephn101]

Chocolate Covered Strawberry Brownies Fudgy Brownies:

7 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped (or about 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons chocolate chips)

½ cup unsalted butter, cut into quarters

3 tablespoons cocoa powder

3 large eggs

1 ¼ cups granulated sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup flour

½ teaspoon salt

Topping:

1 cup strawberries, diced

½ cup chocolate chips

1 tablespoon shortening

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Spray an 8-inch square baking pan with non-stick cooking spray, set aside.

Using a double boiler, or a medium heatproof bowl set over a pan of almost simmering water, melt the chocolate and butter, stirring occasionally until smooth (see tips for melting chocolate). Whisk in the cocoa. Set aside to cool.

Whisk together the eggs, sugar, vanilla and salt in a medium bowl until combined, about 30 seconds. Whisk the warm chocolate mixture into the egg mixture, then stir in the flour with a wooden spoon until just combined.

Pour the mixture into the prepared pan, spread into the corners and level with a offset spatula. Bake 35 to 40 minutes, or until slightly puffed and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with a small amount of sticky crumbs clinging to it. Cool on a wire rack to room temperature, about 2 hours.

When the brownies are completely cooled, spread the strawberries evenly over the brownies. Melt the chocolate chips and shortening together in a double boiler or microwave at 50% power level (refer to tips for melting chocolate). Pour evenly over the strawberries.

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

When ready to serve, cut brownies into one-inch squares.

[stephn101]

#thisisthegreatest #iwannaseeit #someonegiveittoagoodanimater #makeitaminiseries

I just read a post that mentioned the entire Justice League being on Cutthroat Kitchen and I desperately needed to know what your headcanons are on this.

Batman is out in round one. Firstly, he thinks $25k is nothing. What can you buy with $25k. Is that even enough to make a meal. He spends all his money and gets no sabotages and loses anyway because he is honestly a terrible cook. It will be edible and it will keep you alive but it will be terrible. Now, if you give him a fully stocked kitchen with all kinds of equipment he can bake you some fancy, fancy shit. But that’s baking. That is a science. Cooking is bullshit. Medium heat? What the fuck is medium heat? Medium is not a temperature. If you mean 180C say 180C. He never adds enough salt or sugar or fat to anything and everything is too spicy.

Wonder Woman also doesn’t make it very far. She can cook but, like… with fresh ingredients, and specific dishes. Plus she’s a vegetarian? She doesn’t know what the fuck to do with meats. They’re supposed to make chili dogs and she just has no frame of reference at all for what that should even look like. And she got the sabotage to do everything in the microwave. How even??

Flash gets the sabotage that replaces his good shit with garbage but that works in his favor because garbage is his specialty. He will make a delicious meal out of cheese whiz and goldfish and cocktail weenies. Unfortunately trash is all he’s good at. The man loves trash food. The next round they have to make something fresh and he’s SOL.

Green Arrow can’t cook for shit. He can stir fry and maybe roast things. It’s just not enough. He just buys sabotages for everyone because he wants to do as much damage as possible before he’s gone. Trolliver. He makes the Flash walk everywhere on top of egg crates. He’s the one who gives Wonder Woman the microwave.

J’onn can’t play because he can’t convince anyone he isn’t reading Alton’s mind for ideas. Alton always knows what you should do. Being able to read Alton’s mind is the ultimate advantage. Plus he can tell which judge it is, so he knows whether he needs to go for good food generally or for the best representation of the dish. Different judges want different things!! Honestly it is for the best they wouldn’t let J’onn play because he’s an alien and he eats weird shit.

Once they get Aquaman to understand the concept he gets really into it. He’s a great cook! How does he know how to cook these things? The man loves food. By all rights he shouldn’t be any better than Wonder Woman but holy shit he’s amazing. The things that man can do with a crab… he gets a sabotage to wear lobster claws but is weirdly highly functional. Ollie regrets buying it. Of COURSE he can handle having claws. He’s probably asked for advice. He should have bought the claws for Superman. In the end it’s Aquaman versus Superman which no one saw coming.

Superman wins. It’s bullshit. Everyone is mad about it. Not because he didn’t deserve it but because WHAT IS HE BAD AT. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING. Where did he even learn this stuff??? Little do they know HE GREW UP ON A FARM. THAT BOY CAN MAKE MAYONNAISE FROM SCRATCH, AND DOES. There’s a no-superpowers rule in place with a fine for offenders but he is actually great about it because Martha never let him use powers in the house. They get asked to make a lasagna and he’s so excited because he never gets to make time-intensive things usually. Murphy’s Law and supervillains get him every time he tries. He doesn’t have enough time to make his mozzarella and ricotta and tomato sauce from scratch like he usually does (YOU DO WHAT) but he does make his own pasta and it does not seem to occur to him not to do this. He lets Aquaman buy the sabotage to take his pasta because he didn’t even grab any. He does that thing where he sings pop songs in the voice of the original singer while he cooks and they have to ask him to stop so they won’t have to pay royalties. He’s very embarrassed because he didn’t realize he was doing it. He successfully stops himself from adding way too much garlic, even though he thinks it’s better with like… a whole head of garlic… all the garlic, in the world. Aquaman makes a really good eggplant lasagna but he just can’t compete with the meaty cheesy midwestern monstrosity that Superman has created.

[stephn101]

So... how do you feel about getting pregnant today?

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

[stephn101]

follow dabestofmemes , the place to be for the memes

[stephn101]

Just the way the fault in our stars has "Ok" Scandal's Olivia Pope and Mr. President have "Hi"

[stephn101]

.

[stephn101]

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.

Marilyn Monroe (via picsandquotes)

[stephn101]

“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.”

Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince (via hplyrikz)

Clear your mind here

(via hplyrikz)