steveharringtonisntrealjenn - Tumblr blog

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 5 months ago

Text

The first time Wayne meets Steve Harrington, he is nine years old and it's Career Day.

Every year a bunch of people crowd into the gym to tell the kids what they do for a living. This year, Wayne drew the short straw and was sent to represent the plant he works at.

He wasn't expecting his measly poster board to attract a lot of attention compared to the other booths with their models and hangouts. So, it's a little surprising when a kid with big eyes and wild hair marches straight up to him and asks, "What do you do?"

"Plant work."

The kid tilted his head, "Like a gardener?"

"More like an electrician."

The kid stood up a little straighter. His eyes went a little wider the way that his nephew's eyes do when he was interested in something, "Like lightbulbs and wires?"

"Yeah," Wayne answered, and then was immediately assaulted by a series of questions.

The questions were specific like the kid had read a book on electrical work but hadn't quite wrapped his head around it. It made Wayne think of Eddie, many miles away with Al, and all his many weird special interests. He smiled but then the kid asked, "But what if you can't turn the electricity off first? Will you die? I'm Steve, by the way."

"Hi, Steve," Wayne said and then made it very clear, "You should not be messing with any wires without adult supervision. It's very dangerous and you can get hurt."

Steve just huffed at that and then ran off when he saw Mr. Hagan at his booth. He was giving out toothbrushes.

Wayne doesn't think much of that kid after he leaves the school. He doesn't have much reason to until there's a loud insistent knocking on his front door an hour after he got off shift a couple days later.

"...What are you doing here?"

"Hi, I'm Steve. We met before..." The kid said, fidgeting when Wayne just stared at him bewildered. "I asked Mrs. Byers at Melvards where you live. I see you there sometimes."

Wayne raised an eyebrow and Steve rushed, "I need a grown up with super-vision."

This was how Wayne found himself on Saturday morning in the front hall of the painfully empty Harrington household. Steve was beckoning him along and showing him a burnt outlet. He gave Wayne a very serious look, "I need help fixing it."

"Why don't you wait until your parents get back from...?"

"No!" Steve snapped at him. "I'm in charge! Dad said that I have to take care of the house and, and-"

"I don't think he was referring to something like this, kid."

"Yes, he was!" Steve insisted. "Cause I - 'Cause I told him that the lights were flickering when Mama called and he said to figure it out so. So, I got you. That's deli-gate-tion."

And that was how Wayne found himself standing in the Harrington basement with a flashlight and a kid with a death grip on his pant leg. Wayne was looking at the marks on the breaker box where the kid clearly tried to pry it open with a screwdriver when Steve tugged on his leg, "Can you see inside it with your super vision?"

Jesus, Wayne thought and then dedicated the rest of his day to showing this kid exactly why he should not be messing around with electrical wires and maybe. Just maybe, inspiring a future electrician.

3K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 5 months ago

Text

Steve: *Lying face down in bed*

Robin: He said he loved you?

Steve: Yeah…

Robin: And you asked him to marry you?

Steve: Yeah…

Robin: Even by lesbian standards that’s fast.

Robin: What did you do?

Steve: I ran before he could reject me.

Meanwhile…

Eddie: WAYNE HOLY SHIT IM GETTING MARRIED!!!

Wayne: *Spits coffee*

3K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 5 months ago

Text

Three's Company AU where Steve breaks up with his girlfriend and Robin and Chrissy invite him to move in with them, except their landlord doesn't feel comfortable letting a man move in with two "respectable young ladies".

(He doesn't need to know that Robin and Chrissy are lesbians, and have been together for over a year.)

It's Steve who blurts out an "I'm gay," much to the girl's shock. "So it won't be a problem."

The landlord is still iffy about it, but he doesn't seem to mind. Cue Steve having to keep up a facade of being gay whenever the landlord comes over, while also helping the girls hide their own relationship from the man.

In the midst of all of this, he becomes friends with the guy who lives down the hall, Eddie. A guy who obviously thinks Steve is gay because Steve is acting gay, and subsequently starts flirting with Steve because Eddie is actually gay.

Steve starts worrying about trying to figure out how to let Eddie down, while not knowing if he'll rat Steve out to the landlord. He doesn't know Eddie that well, and if he's the type to get jaded, it could end badly, but also- he just really likes being friends with Eddie.

He's loud and obnoxious, busy also kind and fiercely loyal. Steve finds himself spending more and more time with the other guy.

It all comes to a head when Eddie is over one night, and after a few beers Eddie just- kisses him. Steve doesn't know what he expected to feel, but it's certainly not the butterflies that suddenly erupt in his stomach. It's certainly not the immediate need to press closer, to kiss Eddie deeper.

He doesn't think about it too deep, just makes out with Eddie until the man finally goes back to his own place. Steve spends the next 24 hours going through a sexuality crisis before he comes to terms with the fact that, he doesn't know if he likes men, but he likes Eddie, and that's enough for him to want to try with the guy.

It's a few months later when they go to the landlord, asking to switch Steve's residence from Robin and Chrissy's apartment to Eddie's.

Wayne, of course, says yes.

2K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 5 months ago

Text

I love the “Steve has good parents, they’re just not on camera.”

Steve’s dad walks in on Eddie and Steve making out, both shirtless. Eddie freaks the fuck out and Steve just sheepishly smiles at his father.

“I know I told you not to lock your door, but I take that back because I don’t want to see that again.”

“Thanks Dad!”

“Use protection!”

…

He walks into a house full of random children. The kids and Steve’s dad are just staring at each other.

“You’re paying to feed these kids, right?”

“No, you are.”

“Well shit.”

“Language, there are children!”

“Do I get to know these children who I have financially adopted?”

…

Hopper, who is over at the Harrington house to speak to Steve. Mr Harrington walks in to see the chief of police sitting on his couch. He sees Steve in the kitchen and quickly makes his way over.

“Steve! What is the chief of police doing here?”

“He’s a family friend.”

“What family?” Mr Harrington snaps back, gesturing at himself.

“He’s my friend?”

“I don’t see a world where you randomly become friends with the chief of police”

“I got caught with drugs?”

“Then why isn’t he arresting you?” Mr Harrington points to Steve’s cuff-less wrists.

“Can’t tell you?”

“Why?”

“I signed an NDA?”

“Steve, why the fuck would you do that? I’m a lawyer, you don’t just sign NDAs at a whim.”

“To be completely fair, I was concussed every time or they used a friend to threaten me.”

“It shouldn’t stand up in court then. Who did you sign it for?”

“The US government.”

“Fuck.”

6K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 5 months ago

Text

Starcourt happens and Steve’s parents do a complete-180 on him. All of a sudden, all they can talk about is their hero son.

They’re suddenly always home. Always next to him. Talking to him. Talking about him. Taking an interest in his life.

His dad even offered him a position at his firm again, and just-

No. No, god no. This sucks and he hates it. They’re having expectations again. His mom is talking about him marrying ‘that girl you worked with. The newspapers will live that.’

Steve needs to do something. Something drastic. Something-

“You want to date me?”

“No, Munson. Are you listening?”

“I’m listening,” Eddie says, perched on his drug table in the woods like a bird. “Sounds like you’re asking me out.”

“I’m asking you over,” Steve replies. “To piss off my parents.”

“You said make out on your couch.”

“Yeah, that’s the piss off part. You in or are you in?”

“Oh, I am.”

2K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 5 months ago

Text

fic where steve already knows he's bi but robin keeps trying to tell him. steve's known he's had a crush on eddie for months at this point but today just happens to be the day where eddie walks in during a slow shift at family video and robin looks up at the perfect moment to catch steve's soft, dopey smile.

and in that moment, robin connects the dots. the music in steve's car being just love songs on loop. steve walking into work in a lovesick haze. steve going out of his way to work his schedule so he could always be the one to pick the kids up from hellfire.

oh.

eddie ducks into the horror section, and robin throws her full body weight towards steve, who yelps not unlike a stray cat.

"you like eddie," robin hisses.

"yeah, no shit!" steve reaches for the collar of his polo like he's clutching imaginary pearls. "jesus christ, robin, what the fuck."

ignoring him, robin continues. "no, steve," she says, soft look on her face, "you like like him."

steve frowns, nodding slowly. "i-i know that, robin. we're not in third grade anymore, you can say 'crush', it's not going to give you cooties," he says, frown falling to reveal a teasing look.

"wait, what?"

"robin, did you...?"

they stare at each other intensely for what could perhaps be aeons.

"YOU NEVER TOLD ME-"

"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU-"

3K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 5 months ago

Text

Steve will drop lore on Eddie in this ‘everybody knows this, catch up’ kinda way when it painfully clear that everybody absolutely did not know this.

Like, Eddie asks Steve to move his chair so he can slide passed him like three time in the middle of a party at the Byers and is being ignored. Finally, he’s like, “Ground control to Major Asshole. Can you hear me?”

Steve’s only notices him because he kicks his chair in the process and is like, “Oh, sorry, man. Gotta talk on my other side. I lost my hearing on this side.”

Which, great.

Eddie feels like an asshole but he can actually put that to the side because the whole table is just like, “…what? Since when?”

“Um…” Steve says, like. Yeah. This is common knowledge. “Two years ago?”

One time in the middle of the summer, Eddie is ogling the freckles across Steve’s shoulders at a pool party when Steve yawns. Eddie jokingly asks if teaching Robin to drive tired him out that much and Steve’s like, “Nah, I had a seizure this morning. Those tire me out for days. It’s so annoying.”

“Woah,” because Eddie didn’t even know that was something on their radar. Neither did Nancy judging by the whole plate of hotdogs she just dropped on the ground.

Steve causally mentioned that he didn’t have his appendix anymore a couple weeks after they closed the gate officially. Eddie asked when he had the surgery expecting an answer to be when he was a kid, but Steve gives him a weird look like, “Uh, couple weeks ago.”

“A couple - what?” Jonathan sputtered from across the room. “A couple weeks ago, we killed Vecna.”

“Yeahh???” Steve rolled his eyes. “And then I had my appendix taken out. That’s what happens when you’re stabbed.”

“You were stabbed?!?”

“C’mon, man. You were there. Keep up.”

Eddie is shut up mid-sentence by lips against his and, wow. Whoa. Steve Harrington kissing him right now and Eddie should definitely kiss back but, “You like guys? I’ve had a chance this whole time?”

“I’m literally bisexual.”

5K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 7 months ago

Text

shout out to my 77 year old nan asking my cousin to make her a "woke pride" shirt she can wear so conservative old people will stop assuming she agrees with them

15K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 7 months ago

Text

the inherent comedy of btvs starting with a vampire who angsts constantly about being a vampire and turns not being able to be in the sun with Buffy into a whole big mopey thing and then a couple years later having another vampire date Buffy except he doesn't give a fuck at all about those things lmaoooo. The sun? no problem, he just throws a ratty blanket over his head and runs when he's out during the day. Zero angst about this from him, he makes do. The mortal/immortal thing never even crossed his mind as a problem, they'll cross that bridge when they get to it. Can't have kids? Why would he worry about giving something to Buffy that she never showed any interest in?

Spike is so funny, it never even occurred to him to angst about being in a vampire/human relationship, he literally doesn't care at all. I love him.

3K notes · View notes

steveharringtonisntrealjenn · 1 year ago

Text