stevengrant-enthusiast

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Reblogging so I never lose this fic again

the break-up:

summary: in which y/n is going through a break-up with the moon boys and happens to be serving when one of them is on a date. reader x steven, reader x marc, reader x jake (3rd person, she/her pronouns)

warnings: ANGST (there is fluff, don’t worry) , break-up, language, fem! reader

word count: 4109 

thank you for all the love on this fic!! every interaction has made me smile and is very much appreciated. hope you enjoy :)

Keep reading

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

IM DYING HOLY MOLYYYY

Shot by Philip Montgomery

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

💌 Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome. 💌

MWUAH ❤️ you’re too kind

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

This is so me

not me pretending i got an email from marc bc someone with the same name sent me a mail irl

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Please ilysm ❤️❤️❤️ you have no idea how much this means to me 😭😭😭

Deserve

Summary: You decide to end things with the boys after a spiraling episode, but Steven convinces you otherwise.

Paring: Steven Grant x gn!Reader

Rating: Angst, Fluff? Cursing

Warnings: Talk of hopelessness, mental illness, bpd symptoms, cursing. Established relationship. No use of y/n

Word Count: 1.8K

……………

Notes: Hello everyone I’m back!! I hope you guys like this little angsty thing I wrote. I’ve been feeling shitty lately because of my bpd and writing this helped. Sometimes it just feels so helpless and your mind thinks in complete black in white. It’s not fun for the person with borderline and their significant other, which really sucks. Sorry for any grammar mistakes or if it doesn’t make any sense, I wrote it at like 4 am per usual. 

♥ ♥ ♥

It was a normal Saturday. Nothing in particular was wrong, but it usually started that way. You had a lazy day in Steven’s flat. He and Marc and Jake were away for the day on some moon knight business. Nothing unusual. But still, you couldn’t shake off the disgusting feeling you’ve been carrying the last few hours.

When you and the boys were together, you saw the world in rose colored glasses and felt as if nothing could break you down as long as they were by your side. It was a feeling you weren’t used to- you never let anyone get this close to you. You were afraid of the person they turned you into: hopeful, safe, and happy. It wasn’t a bad thing, but when they were gone, along with their reassurance, you fell into a deep hole that made you irrational and see in black and white. That’s why for so long, you didn’t let anyone get too close and merely observed the world from an arms distance. But when you met them, your world shifted. For the first time ever you found yourself relying on another person for the safety and love you purposely deprived yourself of. Their words and comfort was something so foreign to you, but still, you didn’t want to lose it ever. But sometimes your brain just spiraled out of control and made you think so irrationally and illogically. You didn’t want to lose them, but their assurance also made you afraid that your emotional baggage was too much of a burden for them to handle. They didn’t deserve that. No one did. If you were alone, you couldn’t hurt anyone the way you always thought you did. 

So after some hours of contemplation, you decided that leaving them was the right thing for you, but more importantly, for them. You knew deep down that this was just another impulsive feeling and a defense mechanism, but sometimes you couldn’t control yourself. Today was just one of those days. 

You sat on the living room couch scrolling through the text messages between you and sweet Steven. He always used smiley faces and lots of fun emojis. It made you smile. For a second, you faltered. Your heart told you that leaving them isn’t a good idea, but your brain said the opposite: “you’re doing it for them. They don’t want someone who is so unstable. They deserve consistency, don’t they? That’s something you can’t ever give them. It will hurt in the beginning but in the end, it’s the best choice.”

Your heart dropped when you heard the sound of the door unlocking. Steven walked into the flat with a duffel bag around his shoulders. He greeted you with the same enthusiasm he always gave you and dropped the bag to the floor. 

“Hello love! Sorry I’m so late, things ended a bit later than expected… is everything alright?”

He could already sense the bitterness in the room’s atmosphere and on your nervous smile. 

“Yeah” your voice broke “I- I just need to talk to you about something.”

“Alright, what is it love?” His voice was higher and quieter as if already attempting to soothe you. He rushed to your side on the couch and took a seat next to you, hips touching and eyes drenched with worry. He didn’t know what to expect from your tone of voice, and he had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be a fun talk. 

“I’ve been thinking…” you began “I think.. we should go our separate ways from now on.” You voice trailed off at the end. Steven was silent and wondering if he heard you correctly. 

“I’m- love, sorry what? Why are you saying this all of the sudden?” He gave a confused chuckle. You could see his hands tensing and balling up into a fist on his lap. His gaze didn’t leave you for a second, though. You couldn’t look at him and placed your attention to his shoes, adverting his piercing stare. You could already feel the tears pricking the corner of your eyes and suddenly you realized how unprepared you were. How were you going to explain this to them? Should you just make up an excuse? You didn’t want to lie to them, though. You hated lying and terrible at it too. In the past when you found yourself getting too attached or reliant, you just left without explanation. It never went as far as this thing you had with the three of them. And even you knew that you couldn’t just ghost them forever without explanation. Not this time. So, you decided to be brief and vague about it, like you always were when you didn’t feel like unpacking your every emotion or unable to identify them in the first place. 

“It’s just, I think I need to be alone for a bit. I’ve been really anxious lately and it’s not fair to you guys.”

“Fair? What’s not fair dear I don’t understand?”

You let out a slow sigh, thinking. 

“I mean that… I don’t know. I feel myself spiraling out of control sometimes and it’s not fair that I would drag you down with me. I think it’ll just be better this way.”

“Love, you can’t just decide on your own what’s better for us. It doesn’t work that way.” He sounded frustrated. And that little shift in his tone made your brain shut down. Shit, maybe your heart was right, this would hurt them more than staying. “Is that all it is? Are you sure we didn’t do anything wrong?” Now his voice was dripping with guilt and hurt. This was the last thing you wanted, making them feel as if they were the ones at fault. It couldn’t have been more wrong. 

“No. It’s not you, or Marc or Jake. I promise.” You regret bringing all of this up in the first place. All you wanted right now was to disappear forever and hide from the consequences of your decisions. It’s always the fucking same. You act upon what your head tells you and regret it instantly. But there was no coming back from this. Steven didn’t answer and stayed silent for what felt like an eternity. He just looked at you. You were afraid that he could see right through your expression and read your thoughts like a damn book. And maybe he could because he finally said:

“Love, you know you could tell us anything. Please talk to me we want to help you.” That broke you. It filled you with rage against yourself and your heart wretched for him. You wanted to scream and break something because those words just confirmed everything you hated about yourself. 

“See, that’s the thing Steven. You shouldn’t have to help me. Why the fuck should you suffer just because I’m a shitty and immature person who can’t maintain my own goddamn emotions? It’s not fair to you guys. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this and me. You deserve someone who won’t hurt you.” You were standing now and your voice was loud, almost yelling. You paced back and forth in front of the couch with your arms tightly crossed, trying to give yourself some form of physical release and distraction. “Fuck I’m sorry for yelling, I didn’t mean to.”

Steven stood up with you and stopped your pacing by holding onto your shoulders, gently but also firmly. You could feel the warmth from his finger tips spreading through your shoulders. You wanted to push him away. But if you left his flat now, you would never forget his touch on you right this second. You shuddered and felt your tears slip by you as he looked into your eyes with so much understanding. 

“You could never hurt us, dear. I promise you that.” His brows furrowed and his gaze was unforgiving to show how serious he was. His hands moved periodically from your shoulder to arms, stroking your sides. “We want to help you because we care about you, because we love every part of you no matter what. If anything, it makes us bloody ecstatic that we can be someone you depend on. It makes us feel loved and needed, actually.”

You were full on sobbing now, hearing everything you wanted, no needed, to hear and more. His sweet words put your nerves at rest like it always did. You wished more than anything to be able to control your irrational and inconsistent behavior and to be good for them. 

“Oh heart don’t cry.” He tugged you in for a big hug and enveloped your shivering frame.

“Fuck Steven I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. You shouldn’t be having to do this- to deal with me. I’m just afraid I’ll lose you in a worse way than this. I’m afraid you’ll grow tired of me and one day decide to walk out.”

“Darling have you ever considered for a second how much love and understanding you provide for us? Hm? I mean, bloody hell look at us. We’re so lucky to have met someone who accepts us- all of us.” 

At his comment, you let out a soft laugh and nodded into his chest. Their situation wasn’t exactly normal either. 

“You must think I’m doing all this for attention” you say after getting embarrassed at your outburst of emotions. 

“No love I don’t, not at all. But next time instead of jumping to conclusions we can talk it out, yeah? You nearly gave me a heart attack just now.” You could hear him smiling through his words, attempting to bring a little humor into the situation. “Promise me you will. Okay?”

“Yeah I promise Steven. Thank you. It’s just sometimes, I can’t believe that you guys love someone like me.”

“Darling you deserve it and much more. Trust me when I say we think exactly the same thing.” You look at him with a confused smile. 

“Really? That sounds… outrageous. Who wouldn’t fall in love with you three?”

“Exactly, love. It’s outrageous to us that you would think that. But maybe that’s the beauty of it. What’s more outrageous than love itself? To be wholeheartedly dedicated and devoted to another person. It’s insanity.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. Maybe we’re all just a little crazy.”

“Yeah maybe.” He chuckled and you felt his chest vibrating in front of you. That’s when you realized you only feel this way because you care. About your relationship, Steven, Marc, Jake, your future with them, etc. And if all of this emotional turmoil is in the name of love, then it’s worth fighting for. For once, you don’t have to run away. You can trust them, no, you’re going to trust them. 

♥ ♥ ♥

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

I’m so glad you liked it! Hope everything is okay for you love ❤️❤️❤️

Deserve

Summary: You decide to end things with the boys after a spiraling episode, but Steven convinces you otherwise.

Paring: Steven Grant x gn!Reader

Rating: Angst, Fluff? Cursing

Warnings: Talk of hopelessness, mental illness, bpd symptoms, cursing. Established relationship. No use of y/n

Word Count: 1.8K

……………

Notes: Hello everyone I’m back!! I hope you guys like this little angsty thing I wrote. I’ve been feeling shitty lately because of my bpd and writing this helped. Sometimes it just feels so helpless and your mind thinks in complete black in white. It’s not fun for the person with borderline and their significant other, which really sucks. Sorry for any grammar mistakes or if it doesn’t make any sense, I wrote it at like 4 am per usual. 

♥ ♥ ♥

It was a normal Saturday. Nothing in particular was wrong, but it usually started that way. You had a lazy day in Steven’s flat. He and Marc and Jake were away for the day on some moon knight business. Nothing unusual. But still, you couldn’t shake off the disgusting feeling you’ve been carrying the last few hours.

When you and the boys were together, you saw the world in rose colored glasses and felt as if nothing could break you down as long as they were by your side. It was a feeling you weren’t used to- you never let anyone get this close to you. You were afraid of the person they turned you into: hopeful, safe, and happy. It wasn’t a bad thing, but when they were gone, along with their reassurance, you fell into a deep hole that made you irrational and see in black and white. That’s why for so long, you didn’t let anyone get too close and merely observed the world from an arms distance. But when you met them, your world shifted. For the first time ever you found yourself relying on another person for the safety and love you purposely deprived yourself of. Their words and comfort was something so foreign to you, but still, you didn’t want to lose it ever. But sometimes your brain just spiraled out of control and made you think so irrationally and illogically. You didn’t want to lose them, but their assurance also made you afraid that your emotional baggage was too much of a burden for them to handle. They didn’t deserve that. No one did. If you were alone, you couldn’t hurt anyone the way you always thought you did. 

So after some hours of contemplation, you decided that leaving them was the right thing for you, but more importantly, for them. You knew deep down that this was just another impulsive feeling and a defense mechanism, but sometimes you couldn’t control yourself. Today was just one of those days. 

You sat on the living room couch scrolling through the text messages between you and sweet Steven. He always used smiley faces and lots of fun emojis. It made you smile. For a second, you faltered. Your heart told you that leaving them isn’t a good idea, but your brain said the opposite: “you’re doing it for them. They don’t want someone who is so unstable. They deserve consistency, don’t they? That’s something you can’t ever give them. It will hurt in the beginning but in the end, it’s the best choice.”

Your heart dropped when you heard the sound of the door unlocking. Steven walked into the flat with a duffel bag around his shoulders. He greeted you with the same enthusiasm he always gave you and dropped the bag to the floor. 

“Hello love! Sorry I’m so late, things ended a bit later than expected… is everything alright?”

He could already sense the bitterness in the room’s atmosphere and on your nervous smile. 

“Yeah” your voice broke “I- I just need to talk to you about something.”

“Alright, what is it love?” His voice was higher and quieter as if already attempting to soothe you. He rushed to your side on the couch and took a seat next to you, hips touching and eyes drenched with worry. He didn’t know what to expect from your tone of voice, and he had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be a fun talk. 

“I’ve been thinking…” you began “I think.. we should go our separate ways from now on.” You voice trailed off at the end. Steven was silent and wondering if he heard you correctly. 

“I’m- love, sorry what? Why are you saying this all of the sudden?” He gave a confused chuckle. You could see his hands tensing and balling up into a fist on his lap. His gaze didn’t leave you for a second, though. You couldn’t look at him and placed your attention to his shoes, adverting his piercing stare. You could already feel the tears pricking the corner of your eyes and suddenly you realized how unprepared you were. How were you going to explain this to them? Should you just make up an excuse? You didn’t want to lie to them, though. You hated lying and terrible at it too. In the past when you found yourself getting too attached or reliant, you just left without explanation. It never went as far as this thing you had with the three of them. And even you knew that you couldn’t just ghost them forever without explanation. Not this time. So, you decided to be brief and vague about it, like you always were when you didn’t feel like unpacking your every emotion or unable to identify them in the first place. 

“It’s just, I think I need to be alone for a bit. I’ve been really anxious lately and it’s not fair to you guys.”

“Fair? What’s not fair dear I don’t understand?”

You let out a slow sigh, thinking. 

“I mean that… I don’t know. I feel myself spiraling out of control sometimes and it’s not fair that I would drag you down with me. I think it’ll just be better this way.”

“Love, you can’t just decide on your own what’s better for us. It doesn’t work that way.” He sounded frustrated. And that little shift in his tone made your brain shut down. Shit, maybe your heart was right, this would hurt them more than staying. “Is that all it is? Are you sure we didn’t do anything wrong?” Now his voice was dripping with guilt and hurt. This was the last thing you wanted, making them feel as if they were the ones at fault. It couldn’t have been more wrong. 

“No. It’s not you, or Marc or Jake. I promise.” You regret bringing all of this up in the first place. All you wanted right now was to disappear forever and hide from the consequences of your decisions. It’s always the fucking same. You act upon what your head tells you and regret it instantly. But there was no coming back from this. Steven didn’t answer and stayed silent for what felt like an eternity. He just looked at you. You were afraid that he could see right through your expression and read your thoughts like a damn book. And maybe he could because he finally said:

“Love, you know you could tell us anything. Please talk to me we want to help you.” That broke you. It filled you with rage against yourself and your heart wretched for him. You wanted to scream and break something because those words just confirmed everything you hated about yourself. 

“See, that’s the thing Steven. You shouldn’t have to help me. Why the fuck should you suffer just because I’m a shitty and immature person who can’t maintain my own goddamn emotions? It’s not fair to you guys. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this and me. You deserve someone who won’t hurt you.” You were standing now and your voice was loud, almost yelling. You paced back and forth in front of the couch with your arms tightly crossed, trying to give yourself some form of physical release and distraction. “Fuck I’m sorry for yelling, I didn’t mean to.”

Steven stood up with you and stopped your pacing by holding onto your shoulders, gently but also firmly. You could feel the warmth from his finger tips spreading through your shoulders. You wanted to push him away. But if you left his flat now, you would never forget his touch on you right this second. You shuddered and felt your tears slip by you as he looked into your eyes with so much understanding. 

“You could never hurt us, dear. I promise you that.” His brows furrowed and his gaze was unforgiving to show how serious he was. His hands moved periodically from your shoulder to arms, stroking your sides. “We want to help you because we care about you, because we love every part of you no matter what. If anything, it makes us bloody ecstatic that we can be someone you depend on. It makes us feel loved and needed, actually.”

You were full on sobbing now, hearing everything you wanted, no needed, to hear and more. His sweet words put your nerves at rest like it always did. You wished more than anything to be able to control your irrational and inconsistent behavior and to be good for them. 

“Oh heart don’t cry.” He tugged you in for a big hug and enveloped your shivering frame.

“Fuck Steven I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. You shouldn’t be having to do this- to deal with me. I’m just afraid I’ll lose you in a worse way than this. I’m afraid you’ll grow tired of me and one day decide to walk out.”

“Darling have you ever considered for a second how much love and understanding you provide for us? Hm? I mean, bloody hell look at us. We’re so lucky to have met someone who accepts us- all of us.” 

At his comment, you let out a soft laugh and nodded into his chest. Their situation wasn’t exactly normal either. 

“You must think I’m doing all this for attention” you say after getting embarrassed at your outburst of emotions. 

“No love I don’t, not at all. But next time instead of jumping to conclusions we can talk it out, yeah? You nearly gave me a heart attack just now.” You could hear him smiling through his words, attempting to bring a little humor into the situation. “Promise me you will. Okay?”

“Yeah I promise Steven. Thank you. It’s just sometimes, I can’t believe that you guys love someone like me.”

“Darling you deserve it and much more. Trust me when I say we think exactly the same thing.” You look at him with a confused smile. 

“Really? That sounds… outrageous. Who wouldn’t fall in love with you three?”

“Exactly, love. It’s outrageous to us that you would think that. But maybe that’s the beauty of it. What’s more outrageous than love itself? To be wholeheartedly dedicated and devoted to another person. It’s insanity.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. Maybe we’re all just a little crazy.”

“Yeah maybe.” He chuckled and you felt his chest vibrating in front of you. That’s when you realized you only feel this way because you care. About your relationship, Steven, Marc, Jake, your future with them, etc. And if all of this emotional turmoil is in the name of love, then it’s worth fighting for. For once, you don’t have to run away. You can trust them, no, you’re going to trust them. 

♥ ♥ ♥

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Thank you so much 😭🙏❤️❤️❤️

Deserve

Summary: You decide to end things with the boys after a spiraling episode, but Steven convinces you otherwise.

Paring: Steven Grant x gn!Reader

Rating: Angst, Fluff? Cursing

Warnings: Talk of hopelessness, mental illness, bpd symptoms, cursing. Established relationship. No use of y/n

Word Count: 1.8K

……………

Notes: Hello everyone I’m back!! I hope you guys like this little angsty thing I wrote. I’ve been feeling shitty lately because of my bpd and writing this helped. Sometimes it just feels so helpless and your mind thinks in complete black in white. It’s not fun for the person with borderline and their significant other, which really sucks. Sorry for any grammar mistakes or if it doesn’t make any sense, I wrote it at like 4 am per usual. 

♥ ♥ ♥

It was a normal Saturday. Nothing in particular was wrong, but it usually started that way. You had a lazy day in Steven’s flat. He and Marc and Jake were away for the day on some moon knight business. Nothing unusual. But still, you couldn’t shake off the disgusting feeling you’ve been carrying the last few hours.

When you and the boys were together, you saw the world in rose colored glasses and felt as if nothing could break you down as long as they were by your side. It was a feeling you weren’t used to- you never let anyone get this close to you. You were afraid of the person they turned you into: hopeful, safe, and happy. It wasn’t a bad thing, but when they were gone, along with their reassurance, you fell into a deep hole that made you irrational and see in black and white. That’s why for so long, you didn’t let anyone get too close and merely observed the world from an arms distance. But when you met them, your world shifted. For the first time ever you found yourself relying on another person for the safety and love you purposely deprived yourself of. Their words and comfort was something so foreign to you, but still, you didn’t want to lose it ever. But sometimes your brain just spiraled out of control and made you think so irrationally and illogically. You didn’t want to lose them, but their assurance also made you afraid that your emotional baggage was too much of a burden for them to handle. They didn’t deserve that. No one did. If you were alone, you couldn’t hurt anyone the way you always thought you did. 

So after some hours of contemplation, you decided that leaving them was the right thing for you, but more importantly, for them. You knew deep down that this was just another impulsive feeling and a defense mechanism, but sometimes you couldn’t control yourself. Today was just one of those days. 

You sat on the living room couch scrolling through the text messages between you and sweet Steven. He always used smiley faces and lots of fun emojis. It made you smile. For a second, you faltered. Your heart told you that leaving them isn’t a good idea, but your brain said the opposite: “you’re doing it for them. They don’t want someone who is so unstable. They deserve consistency, don’t they? That’s something you can’t ever give them. It will hurt in the beginning but in the end, it’s the best choice.”

Your heart dropped when you heard the sound of the door unlocking. Steven walked into the flat with a duffel bag around his shoulders. He greeted you with the same enthusiasm he always gave you and dropped the bag to the floor. 

“Hello love! Sorry I’m so late, things ended a bit later than expected… is everything alright?”

He could already sense the bitterness in the room’s atmosphere and on your nervous smile. 

“Yeah” your voice broke “I- I just need to talk to you about something.”

“Alright, what is it love?” His voice was higher and quieter as if already attempting to soothe you. He rushed to your side on the couch and took a seat next to you, hips touching and eyes drenched with worry. He didn’t know what to expect from your tone of voice, and he had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be a fun talk. 

“I’ve been thinking…” you began “I think.. we should go our separate ways from now on.” You voice trailed off at the end. Steven was silent and wondering if he heard you correctly. 

“I’m- love, sorry what? Why are you saying this all of the sudden?” He gave a confused chuckle. You could see his hands tensing and balling up into a fist on his lap. His gaze didn’t leave you for a second, though. You couldn’t look at him and placed your attention to his shoes, adverting his piercing stare. You could already feel the tears pricking the corner of your eyes and suddenly you realized how unprepared you were. How were you going to explain this to them? Should you just make up an excuse? You didn’t want to lie to them, though. You hated lying and terrible at it too. In the past when you found yourself getting too attached or reliant, you just left without explanation. It never went as far as this thing you had with the three of them. And even you knew that you couldn’t just ghost them forever without explanation. Not this time. So, you decided to be brief and vague about it, like you always were when you didn’t feel like unpacking your every emotion or unable to identify them in the first place. 

“It’s just, I think I need to be alone for a bit. I’ve been really anxious lately and it’s not fair to you guys.”

“Fair? What’s not fair dear I don’t understand?”

You let out a slow sigh, thinking. 

“I mean that… I don’t know. I feel myself spiraling out of control sometimes and it’s not fair that I would drag you down with me. I think it’ll just be better this way.”

“Love, you can’t just decide on your own what’s better for us. It doesn’t work that way.” He sounded frustrated. And that little shift in his tone made your brain shut down. Shit, maybe your heart was right, this would hurt them more than staying. “Is that all it is? Are you sure we didn’t do anything wrong?” Now his voice was dripping with guilt and hurt. This was the last thing you wanted, making them feel as if they were the ones at fault. It couldn’t have been more wrong. 

“No. It’s not you, or Marc or Jake. I promise.” You regret bringing all of this up in the first place. All you wanted right now was to disappear forever and hide from the consequences of your decisions. It’s always the fucking same. You act upon what your head tells you and regret it instantly. But there was no coming back from this. Steven didn’t answer and stayed silent for what felt like an eternity. He just looked at you. You were afraid that he could see right through your expression and read your thoughts like a damn book. And maybe he could because he finally said:

“Love, you know you could tell us anything. Please talk to me we want to help you.” That broke you. It filled you with rage against yourself and your heart wretched for him. You wanted to scream and break something because those words just confirmed everything you hated about yourself. 

“See, that’s the thing Steven. You shouldn’t have to help me. Why the fuck should you suffer just because I’m a shitty and immature person who can’t maintain my own goddamn emotions? It’s not fair to you guys. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this and me. You deserve someone who won’t hurt you.” You were standing now and your voice was loud, almost yelling. You paced back and forth in front of the couch with your arms tightly crossed, trying to give yourself some form of physical release and distraction. “Fuck I’m sorry for yelling, I didn’t mean to.”

Steven stood up with you and stopped your pacing by holding onto your shoulders, gently but also firmly. You could feel the warmth from his finger tips spreading through your shoulders. You wanted to push him away. But if you left his flat now, you would never forget his touch on you right this second. You shuddered and felt your tears slip by you as he looked into your eyes with so much understanding. 

“You could never hurt us, dear. I promise you that.” His brows furrowed and his gaze was unforgiving to show how serious he was. His hands moved periodically from your shoulder to arms, stroking your sides. “We want to help you because we care about you, because we love every part of you no matter what. If anything, it makes us bloody ecstatic that we can be someone you depend on. It makes us feel loved and needed, actually.”

You were full on sobbing now, hearing everything you wanted, no needed, to hear and more. His sweet words put your nerves at rest like it always did. You wished more than anything to be able to control your irrational and inconsistent behavior and to be good for them. 

“Oh heart don’t cry.” He tugged you in for a big hug and enveloped your shivering frame.

“Fuck Steven I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. You shouldn’t be having to do this- to deal with me. I’m just afraid I’ll lose you in a worse way than this. I’m afraid you’ll grow tired of me and one day decide to walk out.”

“Darling have you ever considered for a second how much love and understanding you provide for us? Hm? I mean, bloody hell look at us. We’re so lucky to have met someone who accepts us- all of us.” 

At his comment, you let out a soft laugh and nodded into his chest. Their situation wasn’t exactly normal either. 

“You must think I’m doing all this for attention” you say after getting embarrassed at your outburst of emotions. 

“No love I don’t, not at all. But next time instead of jumping to conclusions we can talk it out, yeah? You nearly gave me a heart attack just now.” You could hear him smiling through his words, attempting to bring a little humor into the situation. “Promise me you will. Okay?”

“Yeah I promise Steven. Thank you. It’s just sometimes, I can’t believe that you guys love someone like me.”

“Darling you deserve it and much more. Trust me when I say we think exactly the same thing.” You look at him with a confused smile. 

“Really? That sounds… outrageous. Who wouldn’t fall in love with you three?”

“Exactly, love. It’s outrageous to us that you would think that. But maybe that’s the beauty of it. What’s more outrageous than love itself? To be wholeheartedly dedicated and devoted to another person. It’s insanity.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. Maybe we’re all just a little crazy.”

“Yeah maybe.” He chuckled and you felt his chest vibrating in front of you. That’s when you realized you only feel this way because you care. About your relationship, Steven, Marc, Jake, your future with them, etc. And if all of this emotional turmoil is in the name of love, then it’s worth fighting for. For once, you don’t have to run away. You can trust them, no, you’re going to trust them. 

♥ ♥ ♥

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Deserve

Summary: You decide to end things with the boys after a spiraling episode, but Steven convinces you otherwise.

Paring: Steven Grant x gn!Reader

Rating: Angst, Fluff? Cursing

Warnings: Talk of hopelessness, mental illness, bpd symptoms, cursing. Established relationship. No use of y/n

Word Count: 1.8K

……………

Notes: Hello everyone I’m back!! I hope you guys like this little angsty thing I wrote. I’ve been feeling shitty lately because of my bpd and writing this helped. Sometimes it just feels so helpless and your mind thinks in complete black in white. It’s not fun for the person with borderline and their significant other, which really sucks. Sorry for any grammar mistakes or if it doesn’t make any sense, I wrote it at like 4 am per usual. 

♥ ♥ ♥

It was a normal Saturday. Nothing in particular was wrong, but it usually started that way. You had a lazy day in Steven’s flat. He and Marc and Jake were away for the day on some moon knight business. Nothing unusual. But still, you couldn’t shake off the disgusting feeling you’ve been carrying the last few hours.

When you and the boys were together, you saw the world in rose colored glasses and felt as if nothing could break you down as long as they were by your side. It was a feeling you weren’t used to- you never let anyone get this close to you. You were afraid of the person they turned you into: hopeful, safe, and happy. It wasn’t a bad thing, but when they were gone, along with their reassurance, you fell into a deep hole that made you irrational and see in black and white. That’s why for so long, you didn’t let anyone get too close and merely observed the world from an arms distance. But when you met them, your world shifted. For the first time ever you found yourself relying on another person for the safety and love you purposely deprived yourself of. Their words and comfort was something so foreign to you, but still, you didn’t want to lose it ever. But sometimes your brain just spiraled out of control and made you think so irrationally and illogically. You didn’t want to lose them, but their assurance also made you afraid that your emotional baggage was too much of a burden for them to handle. They didn’t deserve that. No one did. If you were alone, you couldn’t hurt anyone the way you always thought you did. 

So after some hours of contemplation, you decided that leaving them was the right thing for you, but more importantly, for them. You knew deep down that this was just another impulsive feeling and a defense mechanism, but sometimes you couldn’t control yourself. Today was just one of those days. 

You sat on the living room couch scrolling through the text messages between you and sweet Steven. He always used smiley faces and lots of fun emojis. It made you smile. For a second, you faltered. Your heart told you that leaving them isn’t a good idea, but your brain said the opposite: “you’re doing it for them. They don’t want someone who is so unstable. They deserve consistency, don’t they? That’s something you can’t ever give them. It will hurt in the beginning but in the end, it’s the best choice.”

Your heart dropped when you heard the sound of the door unlocking. Steven walked into the flat with a duffel bag around his shoulders. He greeted you with the same enthusiasm he always gave you and dropped the bag to the floor. 

“Hello love! Sorry I’m so late, things ended a bit later than expected… is everything alright?”

He could already sense the bitterness in the room’s atmosphere and on your nervous smile. 

“Yeah” your voice broke “I- I just need to talk to you about something.”

“Alright, what is it love?” His voice was higher and quieter as if already attempting to soothe you. He rushed to your side on the couch and took a seat next to you, hips touching and eyes drenched with worry. He didn’t know what to expect from your tone of voice, and he had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be a fun talk. 

“I’ve been thinking…” you began “I think.. we should go our separate ways from now on.” You voice trailed off at the end. Steven was silent and wondering if he heard you correctly. 

“I’m- love, sorry what? Why are you saying this all of the sudden?” He gave a confused chuckle. You could see his hands tensing and balling up into a fist on his lap. His gaze didn’t leave you for a second, though. You couldn’t look at him and placed your attention to his shoes, adverting his piercing stare. You could already feel the tears pricking the corner of your eyes and suddenly you realized how unprepared you were. How were you going to explain this to them? Should you just make up an excuse? You didn’t want to lie to them, though. You hated lying and terrible at it too. In the past when you found yourself getting too attached or reliant, you just left without explanation. It never went as far as this thing you had with the three of them. And even you knew that you couldn’t just ghost them forever without explanation. Not this time. So, you decided to be brief and vague about it, like you always were when you didn’t feel like unpacking your every emotion or unable to identify them in the first place. 

“It’s just, I think I need to be alone for a bit. I’ve been really anxious lately and it’s not fair to you guys.”

“Fair? What’s not fair dear I don’t understand?”

You let out a slow sigh, thinking. 

“I mean that… I don’t know. I feel myself spiraling out of control sometimes and it’s not fair that I would drag you down with me. I think it’ll just be better this way.”

“Love, you can’t just decide on your own what’s better for us. It doesn’t work that way.” He sounded frustrated. And that little shift in his tone made your brain shut down. Shit, maybe your heart was right, this would hurt them more than staying. “Is that all it is? Are you sure we didn’t do anything wrong?” Now his voice was dripping with guilt and hurt. This was the last thing you wanted, making them feel as if they were the ones at fault. It couldn’t have been more wrong. 

“No. It’s not you, or Marc or Jake. I promise.” You regret bringing all of this up in the first place. All you wanted right now was to disappear forever and hide from the consequences of your decisions. It’s always the fucking same. You act upon what your head tells you and regret it instantly. But there was no coming back from this. Steven didn’t answer and stayed silent for what felt like an eternity. He just looked at you. You were afraid that he could see right through your expression and read your thoughts like a damn book. And maybe he could because he finally said:

“Love, you know you could tell us anything. Please talk to me we want to help you.” That broke you. It filled you with rage against yourself and your heart wretched for him. You wanted to scream and break something because those words just confirmed everything you hated about yourself. 

“See, that’s the thing Steven. You shouldn’t have to help me. Why the fuck should you suffer just because I’m a shitty and immature person who can’t maintain my own goddamn emotions? It’s not fair to you guys. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this and me. You deserve someone who won’t hurt you.” You were standing now and your voice was loud, almost yelling. You paced back and forth in front of the couch with your arms tightly crossed, trying to give yourself some form of physical release and distraction. “Fuck I’m sorry for yelling, I didn’t mean to.”

Steven stood up with you and stopped your pacing by holding onto your shoulders, gently but also firmly. You could feel the warmth from his finger tips spreading through your shoulders. You wanted to push him away. But if you left his flat now, you would never forget his touch on you right this second. You shuddered and felt your tears slip by you as he looked into your eyes with so much understanding. 

“You could never hurt us, dear. I promise you that.” His brows furrowed and his gaze was unforgiving to show how serious he was. His hands moved periodically from your shoulder to arms, stroking your sides. “We want to help you because we care about you, because we love every part of you no matter what. If anything, it makes us bloody ecstatic that we can be someone you depend on. It makes us feel loved and needed, actually.”

You were full on sobbing now, hearing everything you wanted, no needed, to hear and more. His sweet words put your nerves at rest like it always did. You wished more than anything to be able to control your irrational and inconsistent behavior and to be good for them. 

“Oh heart don’t cry.” He tugged you in for a big hug and enveloped your shivering frame.

“Fuck Steven I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. You shouldn’t be having to do this- to deal with me. I’m just afraid I’ll lose you in a worse way than this. I’m afraid you’ll grow tired of me and one day decide to walk out.”

“Darling have you ever considered for a second how much love and understanding you provide for us? Hm? I mean, bloody hell look at us. We’re so lucky to have met someone who accepts us- all of us.” 

At his comment, you let out a soft laugh and nodded into his chest. Their situation wasn’t exactly normal either. 

“You must think I’m doing all this for attention” you say after getting embarrassed at your outburst of emotions. 

“No love I don’t, not at all. But next time instead of jumping to conclusions we can talk it out, yeah? You nearly gave me a heart attack just now.” You could hear him smiling through his words, attempting to bring a little humor into the situation. “Promise me you will. Okay?”

“Yeah I promise Steven. Thank you. It’s just sometimes, I can’t believe that you guys love someone like me.”

“Darling you deserve it and much more. Trust me when I say we think exactly the same thing.” You look at him with a confused smile. 

“Really? That sounds… outrageous. Who wouldn’t fall in love with you three?”

“Exactly, love. It’s outrageous to us that you would think that. But maybe that’s the beauty of it. What’s more outrageous than love itself? To be wholeheartedly dedicated and devoted to another person. It’s insanity.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. Maybe we’re all just a little crazy.”

“Yeah maybe.” He chuckled and you felt his chest vibrating in front of you. That’s when you realized you only feel this way because you care. About your relationship, Steven, Marc, Jake, your future with them, etc. And if all of this emotional turmoil is in the name of love, then it’s worth fighting for. For once, you don’t have to run away. You can trust them, no, you’re going to trust them. 

♥ ♥ ♥

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Too damn good. I usually don’t read fics w/ OC’s but this changed my mind. The polyamory??? Sweet jake lockley??? This is all I want in life in written form

chapter five: she stings like she means it she’s mean and she’s mine - epilogue

previously - chapter four || masterlist 

Rating: Explicit

Warnings:  swearing, canon-typical violence (punching, stabbing, murder), brief mentions of bad people doing bad things like murder and abuse, drugging (but nothing else happens), mutual pining, unwanted advances of drunk people, drinking alcohol, kissing, breast play, oral sex female receiving, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, PIV sex, little angst, implied child abuse and PTSD.

Note: Thank you to everyone who engaged with this little story. I might visit this polycule again. Enjoy and leave feedback!This covers the post-credits scene in episode 6. Yes, we get to see a wonderful cab driver and his relationship with Ash.

 Lyrics mentioned are from “Angel” by Shaggy and “Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj.I do not speak Spanish. I’m learning but it’s limited. I used DeepL translate for this. If the tenses are off, I apologize. I do not mean to offend.

Translations: “Siempre te protegeré, hermosa.” means “I’ll always protect you, beautiful.” “Lo sé, cariño.” means “I know, baby.” “Hermosa” means “beautiful” “Hola, cariño. Siento mucho llegar tarde.” means “Hi, baby.  I’m so sorry I’m late.” “Sí. Ahora, quita tu mano de mi novio.”  means “Yes. Now get your hand off my boyfriend.” “¡Joder! Eso duele, hermosa!” means “Fuck! That hurts, beautiful.” “pendejo” means “asshole” “princesa” means “princess” “mi vida” means “my life”

Keep reading

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Wowowowowowow

OSCAR ISAAC celebrating Christmas (2022)

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

🥺

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Thinking about how when Harrow tried to balance Steven’s scale Steven just let it happen. Even after knowing it could kill him.

Steven could’ve just been paralyzed with fear to do anything but we’ve seen him in the previous episode running for his life from Harrow’s men.

I wonder if a part of him would have just let the scales balance despite the outcome. I mean I guess he did right?

Whyyy Steven my poor baby

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

IDK what it is… but Marc Spector owns a Google Pixel.

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Writing Tips

Punctuating Dialogue

✧

➸ “This is a sentence.”

➸ “This is a sentence with a dialogue tag at the end,” she said.

➸ “This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a dialogue tag.”

➸ “This is a sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence. New sentences are capitalized.”

➸ “This is a sentence followed by an action.” He stood. “They are separate sentences because he did not speak by standing.”

➸ She said, “Use a comma to introduce dialogue. The quote is capitalized when the dialogue tag is at the beginning.”

➸ “Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote,” he said.

“Unless there is a question mark?” she asked.

“Or an exclamation point!” he answered. “The dialogue tag still remains uncapitalized because it’s not truly the end of the sentence.”

➸ “Periods and commas should be inside closing quotations.”

➸ “Hey!” she shouted, “Sometimes exclamation points are inside quotations.”

However, if it’s not dialogue exclamation points can also be “outside”!

➸ “Does this apply to question marks too?” he asked.

If it’s not dialogue, can question marks be “outside”? (Yes, they can.)

➸ “This applies to dashes too. Inside quotations dashes typically express—“

“Interruption” — but there are situations dashes may be outside.

➸ “You’ll notice that exclamation marks, question marks, and dashes do not have a comma after them. Ellipses don’t have a comma after them either…” she said.

➸ “My teacher said, ‘Use single quotation marks when quoting within dialogue.’”

➸ “Use paragraph breaks to indicate a new speaker,” he said.

“The readers will know it’s someone else speaking.”

➸ “If it’s the same speaker but different paragraph, keep the closing quotation off.

“This shows it’s the same character continuing to speak.”

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

She’s such a boss. Her husband died and the next second she went “fine. I’ll do it myself.”

Wife reveal! 💍

Moon Knight Text Posts 4/? - Layla El Faouly Edition

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

Oscar is the only man I ever fell for who has grey hair like literally HOW ARE YOU SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL 😩🫠

[stevengrant-enthusiast]

an accusation (part 2)

note: wow you guys did not let part 1 flop, the love for it was unreal! i would’ve released part 2 sooner but i was busy with my uni graduation ceremony and it’s also finals week. fret not though, for here is part 2! btw I have an amazing idea for a new fic! I’ll get started after I finish exams so please look forward to it. once again, thank you so so much for commenting, it lit a fire up my ass to post part 2 icl.

summary: y/n was accused for something she was sure she did not commit does shuri believe her? and most importantly, once trust is lost, can it be regained?

‘vula ucango!’ – ‘open the door!’ (let me know if the translation’s off because i don’t speak xhosa)

pairings: shuri x reader

word count: 2,937

category: angst & fluff

first taglist yuh gangg: @zestgodtj​ @ziayamikaelson​ @angelsmist��� @justariellove​ @ilacknames @remiwritess​ @luxuriouslokistan-3​ @eriksjournal @ayax0218 @gardenofshuri​ @flowestallen @nqikki @mxyx-rrx444 @nixxxsstuff

sorry if your name doesn’t activate, idk how to fix it, so let’s manifest the universe showing you part 2 somehow 😭

i apologize for all the typos i missed, i just noticed some rn. *scolds self* bad author! bad!

the guards led you to a small room. situated in the corner of the room was a bench.

‘at least it’s not a jail room with those force field barriers,’ you thought to yourself bitterly.

the guards exited and closed the door, locking it.

you looked around the room and let out a shaky sigh.

you ignored the bench, haphazardly sliding down the corner of the cold floor, pulling your knees up close to you and wishing you could wrap your arms around yourself in some pitiful form of self-comfort, but the handcuffs dug into your wrist.

you blinked rapidly, trying to fight back your tears to no avail because within moments, violent unwanted sobs wracked your body.

you could not hold it in. the sheer injustice, embarrassment, and overall vehement and undeniable feeling of betrayal you underwent today absolutely broke you.

all you could do was sit in that cold room and weep until your tear ducts dried up and your sclerae turned red in hue.

the guards that stood outside felt pity in their hearts, it was a heartbreaking sound.

you were, in every sense of the word, incarcerated.

you felt like pinching yourself to see if this was some terrible nightmare, but you knew there was no way it could be. it feels way too real.

after a good few minutes of tears in silence, you still remained in your corner, eyes puffy and red from your crying as you wondered what you were going to do.

the gravity of the situation began to settle in.

‘i’m going to be disciplined for an offense i didn’t commit. perfect.’ you thought.

you were unsure of how grave your punishment would be, and that thought scared you. who knows what kind of punishments the royal family imposed on delinquent subjects in this country, you were not fond of politics, but you did hear a few stories and read some headlines here and there that sent a chill down your spine. wakanda was not a totalitarian state, it was peaceful for the most part. but when crimes were committed, those in charge made sure to make an example of the person to ensure a similar situation never occurs again.

of course you are– or at least you used to be someone of special importance to the royal family since you had the favor of the queen as you were her girlfriend. but who knows how much leniency even you would get for something like this.

you almost began a sequel of your sobbing but you tried not to. you had to be strong for yourself now. it was you versus everyone.

///\\///\\///\\

shuri sprinted. her heart rate rose, and her lungs pumped for air quickly as she ran.

she ran as fast as she could to the room where commanded the guards to keep you in. okoye followed along, years of training making it child’s play for her to keep pace.

she cursed herself with each step she took, the hindsight hitting her like a truck.

they all jumped to severe conclusions so fast.

all because they were rushing to figure out who committed the crime and have the culprit indicted and punished for their wrongdoings.

even without aya’s admittance, the truth would have most likely come out eventually with the aid of painfully obvious logical observations. for fuck’s sake you didn’t even have the strength to destroy the work. by the way it was destroyed, the person who was ruining it knew the most important parts to hit. which is expected since it was aya, a scientist who was aware of the project’s fucking blueprint.

shuri shook her head. the main issue right now was not the replaceable machine, the issue right now was you. and for once in shuri’s life, she wasn’t sure how to fix something, i.e. this mess with you.

she reached the door in no time.

“vula ucango!” she yelled at the guards to open the door.

with no second wasted, they opened the door at the given command from their queen.

you heard her commanding voice and rushed footsteps in the hallway before you heard the door open after one of the two guards placed their hand on it, producing a blue glow around his hand before it opened.

shuri rushed into the bare room, and the sight she saw broke her heart to unsalvageable pieces. okoye decided to wait outside of the door alongside the guards to give you both some privacy.

in the farthest corner of the room, shuri found you. you were sat on the cold tiled floor, your back facing her as your forehead rested on the wall for support since you were still handcuffed.

shuri stared at your restraints incredulously, the guards were to remove them as soon as they placed you in here.

she quickly called for one of the two guards that were on standby to remove your cuffs. she’ll have a word with them later.

she was at a loss for words and did not even know how to start to address this colossal, big, ass, fucking bbl of a mess.

“y/n…”

you stood up, refusing to acknowledge her presence you cradled your hands and rubbed your sore wrist to encourage blood flow. a deep indentation from the metal marred your soft brown skin. they didn’t even bother using the latest vibranium cuffs, at least those ones were comfy, if you didn’t move too much and trigger the self-tightening mechanism of course.

after you stood up and turned to face her, you refused to make eye contact.

“yes?”

you chose to stare at the floor instead, because you knew you’d either cry, or yell at her in anger if you saw her face. or maybe both, why not?

“i…” shuri gulped. she didn’t even know where to begin.

“one of my colleagues came and… she told the truth,” she revealed. she clasped her hands together nervously, apprehensive of your reaction.

you quickly looked up at shuri in shock, forgetting your resolve to not look at her. as soon as you heard the news you felt your heavy shoulders sag as the feeling of relief washed over you. you didn’t even realize how tense your body was before you heard the news.

you let out a quiet sigh. thank bast.

although your worries of proving your innocence were quenched, the damage done was not fixed, and you were sure as hell that it was not going to be easily repaired.

as shuri looked at you, she noted your tear-stained face and puffy, red eyes. another pang of guilt hit her. it was her fault that you were in this position after all.

“does that mean i can leave this room now?” you asked quietly. there was no way you were going to express gratitude when you weren’t even supposed to be in this position.

“y/n please…” shuri began, she wanted to speak to you.

“i’ll take my leave first.”

you were mentally and physically unprepared to hear any apology or explanation. you just wanted to go take a big ass nap.

shuri watched you quietly as you quickly scurried out of the room, mind blank as to where your feet were guiding you.

so many thoughts overwhelmed you, but at least you no longer had to worry about how you were to prove your innocence.

this whole situation was such a mess, you did not even know where you and shuri stood anymore.

your logic and heart knew that you will eventually forgive her for the mistake she made, but that time was certainly not right now.

///\\///\\///\\

a few days have passed since the incident, and since that day not once have you stepped foot in your shared bedroom. you choose to stay in a guest bedroom on a different floor instead.

if there was something of yours that you wanted and it resided in your shared room, you requested one of the guards assigned to you to go to what is once again shuri’s room and wait for it to be retrieved.

shuri never said no. in fact, she would give it to the guard with no qualms or a “why can’t she come here and get it herself?” or even a “no, this is our room, her items belong here” as a cheap way to get you to come instead.

shuri knew you wanted your space, and she gave it to you. nonetheless, her mind was in turmoil and the more she digested the gravity of what the situation could have meant for you, the more she began to lose herself.

///\\///\\///\\

okoye, alongside many of the scientists and guards that were present on that fateful day came to you on separate occasions to express their sincerest and deepest regrets and apologies about it all.

your mother always taught you to be forgiving and understanding, especially if the opposing party acknowledged their mistake. therefore, it was not difficult to accept the apologies.

you were not upset about the situation with the people anymore, you were just upset about the actions of one person.

you have not seen shuri in person since the day you left her in that room. you were not sure how you managed to avoid her so well around the palace, but you did not bump into her once.

knock. knock. knock.

you heard three firm knocks on the guest bedroom door you were currently residing in.

curious, you rose from your relaxed position on the couch and placed your book down on the intricately designed wakandan coffee table.

you opened the door.

“okoye? what brings you here?”

you stepped aside and let her in, curious at the impromptu, but welcomed, visit from the general. okoye walked in with the grace and poise she always carried.

“y/n…” she began as she looked at you, you two were way past formalities. “for the sake of wakanda, i implore your assistance.”

your eyes widened. what the hell? these words must have tasted foreign to okoye, because there was no way she was asking for what sounded like a favour?

“what’s wrong?”

“her highness has-”

you felt worry gnaw at you. yes, you were mad at her for her rash decision, but you still loved and cared for her deeply.

“-oh my god, is shuri okay?” you interrupted okoye. worry laced your tone as you prepared for the worst news.

“she is unhurt y/n,” okoye calmy explained to you, her voice soothing.

you calmed down a little.

“she has simply refused to leave your shared chambers for the past few days,” okoye began to explain. “she… has not been present for any council meetings, nor has she been in the lab for 3 days, she has barely eaten a proper meal either.”

as okoye explained the situation, she failed to hide the worry in her voice.

“i believe the guilt consumes her.”

without her even asking, you knew what okoye wished from you.

she wanted you to knock some sense into that girl and have her get her shit together.

you nodded to yourself, it’s time.

“i will go to her.”

okoye wanted to express her gratitude but knew you would not accept it. you were not doing her a favor, you still loved shuri and wanted her to be okay just as much as the kingdom did.

you know she was not one to throw a pity party for someone’s forgiveness, so this must have been some authentic ass guilt.

///\\///\\///\\

you walked to the door were her assigned dora stood guard.

they gave you a quick but firm wakandan salute and opened the door. you returned the greeting and then slowly stepped into the dark room that you have not walked into since the whole accusation arc.

you walked towards to section of the room where the bedroom was located in.

you found a lump under the covers of the bed.

“shuri.”

said woman quickly sat up and uncovered herself when she heard your voice.

although the room was dark, you could make out the fresh tears and faint outlines of dark eyebags under her beautiful, rich brown skin. she looked tired.

“woah, you look very crusty right now,” you chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

shuri, surprised at your joking tone, was speechless.

the air was… heavy, but comfortable in an odd way.

you slowly walked towards the bed and sat close to her half laying form.

“now, what’s this i hear about you not eating and missing meetings and work?” you lightly scold.

shuri felt tears slowly well up in her eyes again. “i’m so sorry.”

no matter how much of a fallout or disagreement you had with shuri in any situation, the sight of her crying was the worst thing imaginable to you.

“hey hey, don’t cry,” you felt your heart tug.

you leaned closer and pulled her body close to you for a hug.

“it was such a stupid- i didn’t even think like-” shuri tried to speak but hiccuped, tears unfaltering.

it seemed as if she did a lot of reflection.

you hugged her once more and slowly rubbed circles around her back.

when she quieted you slowly pulled away.

you mimicked shuri’s position and sat on the bed, your upper half leaning on the bedframe. you both looked at each other.

“you betrayed my trust that day,” you said softly.

“i know,” shuri said quietly as she averted her gaze from you and looked at her hands in her lap. she clenched her fists tightly in shame. if she could go back in time and change it, she would in a heartbeat.

“i won’t lie shuri, it felt absolutely god awful…” you began.

shuri remained silent as she let you speak.

“i was very angry with you. angry and heartbroken.”

shuri knew that as clear as day, and even though it hurt to hear it, she couldn’t hold it against you. she caused pain to the person she loved most in the world.

“are you-” shuri felt her voice slightly shake as she asked her question. “are you going to break up with me?”

“what in the name of bast- of course not!” you stared at her incredulously.

“you made a mistake, it is not the end of the world shuri.” you said firmly. “my heart may have already forgiven you. but the wounds you gave my heart still need time to heal. you’re honestly going to have to work extra hard to regain my trust my love.”

shuri slightly perked up at the term of endearment.

“i promise you, i will make things right. and even if it takes me a lifetime to regain your trust, i will work for it endlessly with no complaints,” shuri said firmly as she grabbed your hands and gave it a squeeze before bringing it to her lips to give it a gentle kiss.

you looked at her, you knew she meant every word she said.

///\\///\\///\\

the very next day, shuri called for a meeting with all council members, guards, dora milaje, as well all the palace scientists, even the ones that weren’t involved nor present in the whole project. although everyone knew of your innocence since the news around the palace spread fast like wildfire, shuri still decided to make the formal effort to clear your name and make a public statement of her error.

you thought the announcement was quite dramatic, but you could not deny that it was needed to calm your worries, especially since you were an overthinker who sometimes wondered what others thought about you a good number of times. your self-esteem was also patched up a little bit too.

///\\///\\///\\

you both quietly enjoyed the serene atmosphere from where you sat in the balcony.

“ow!” shuri gasped, more in surprise than pain and turned to face you. her facial expression silently asking why you just hit the back of her head. it was gentle though at least.

“that’s for you asking if i was going to break up with you yesterday, stupid.”

“oh,” shuri stared dumbly as she sheepishly rubbed the nape of her neck. you couldn’t blame her, she was expecting the worst from you. “okay yeah, that’s fair.”

“you do know that my trust issues era has begun now right?” you half-joked as you stared at her.

“i’m never going to live this down, am i?”

“most definitely not, what if i got fed to the jabari tribe or something? my blood would have been in your hands.”

shuri rolled her eyes at your dramatic antics. she appreciated that she did not have to walk on eggshells around you and she was aware you tried to lighten the mood.

“i truly don’t deserve you,” shuri said softly as she looked at the bright blue sky and futuristic skyscrapers that mixed with the luscious trees that organically swayed with the breeze of the wind.

before you could form a response, shuri gently grabbed your right wrist and put something on it.

it was the kimoyo beads she gifted you, you forgot you even placed them in the lab room. she must’ve been holding on to it for a while for you. you leaned forward and gave her a chaste peck on her lips to silently thank her, which she eagerly welcomed.

you both became quiet again for a few moments and looked towards the scenery again.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“okay, but for someone who has a job that is formed on the basis of solid empiricism, this is all quite ironic don’t you think?”

shuri couldn’t help but laugh hard at that statement with how randomly you delivered it. tears formed in the corner her eyes as her stomach began to hurt from the laugh. that was a good question though.