stimmingandstruggling

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if we actually see yingxing in 3.6 i apologize to everyone for what i will become on september 24th. it’s going to be full renheng lockdown for at least 48 hours

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🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

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Apparently the silksong subreddit has started doing human "sacrifices", where they ritually elect someone to be banned, in order to guarantee the timely release of the game. somehow this isn't even surprising

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possession horror where the thing possessing the autistic character causes them to behave in a more neurotypical way. autistic possession horror where the thing inside you is easier to communicate with than you are, the thing inside you doesn’t have a flat affect, the thing inside you doesn’t let your body stim, the thing inside you is how you were told to behave and you can only do it when you are no longer you. autistic possession horror where you will never forget that everyone liked it better than you before they found out something was controlling you. autistic possession horror where they know what’s inside you isn’t you and debate whether it would be easier for everyone to leave you like this anyway. you agree. reblog.

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Yunli!

I just finished 2.5 quest! It was great, I loved the developpement my son and daugter, Yanqing and Yunli got. Always believed in you kids 🫶 ( after 150 pulls i did't get robin??? Why????? )

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yunli text posts ft. yanqing

masterlist

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oh thinking about autistic yunli again……

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Shout out to Characters who are shells of their former selves! You died and you’re not coming back! You don’t recognize yourself and neither does anyone else, and it’s anyone’s guess what the fuck you’re supposed to be now!

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yingxing designed the chains they used for both dan feng and dan heng.

he didn’t know why they wanted him to design them for both an adult and a child but, after years of knowing yinyue-jun, even if they’d been close almost the entire time, he understands that countermeasures are needed for the wellbeing of the xianzhou luofu, if the high elder loses his mind.

so, he makes the chains, and he makes the cuffs, and gives them to the preceptors, even though he doesn’t understand why they don’t want to have the cloud knights hold onto them, why they want to be the ones to punish their high elder when the time comes.

the preceptors ask him to keep dan feng in the dark and so, reluctantly, he does. he goes on with his work and forget about the chains, because there’s a fight and then there’s a symposium dan feng wants him to attend, and then there’s a war.

and, then, there’s shuhu, and baiheng dies.

while he’s plotting with dan feng, yingxing doesn’t think about the cuffs. when he’s digging up baiheng’s remains and trying to bring her back, he doesn’t think about the cuffs. when jingliu comes and slays the abomination, he doesn’t think about the cuffs.

when he dies in dan feng’s arms, he doesn’t think about the cuffs.

—

ren had, in all honesty, fully forgotten about the cuffs. he’d forgotten about many things, and yingxing hadn’t cared too much about them, so he doesn’t either.

the first time he sees dan heng, he’s seething. he looks so pristine, so perfect, so unchanging. the perfect symbol of permanence, the perfect marble statue that would look better at the dragonvista rain hall than it does on this random ipc ship he’d found him in.

yinyue-jun is still the same, and he hasn’t even suffered during these infinite centuries ren has spent doing nothing but, so he must show him how it feels.

the first time he and dan heng have a full conversation after the astral express had gone to amphoreus — yinyue-jun is taller, and broader, but that also is what permanence is, isn’t it? enduring and changing whilst staying substantially the same? — is also the first time he sees him without long sleeves on.

it’s a joint holiday for the stellaron hunters and the astral express, because firefly had asked and the trailblazer had started remembering her time with the old crew, and he wants them to get together whenever they can.

dan heng is there, wearing shorter sleeves, and he talks about his past when firefly inquires, because she understands being born to be nothing but another number in a series, and dan heng tells her about growing up in the shackling prison, growing together with the chains that, by the time he’d gotten out, had become such a familiar weight he’s now reluctant to go out without bracelets or his bracer or tighter sleeves, because it feels wrong to have his wrists bare.

also, he says, because of the scars.

ren sees the scars, and yingxing thinks about the cuffs.

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hsr modern/regular world au where elio is just a regular ass cat the stellaron hunters share custody of. silver wolf once jokingly asked him how many pulls it would take to get a character in her game. she gave him a piece of paper with 2 columns of numbers to pick it. he bapped seemingly randomly at 2 numbers but that was exactly how many pulls it took.

now they all give him cards or dice or paper to guess things or make decisions for them and he’s never fucking wrong.

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sometimes i have a thought and go “this would do numbers on tumblr dot com” and oh boy the numbers! 0. absolutely fucking nothing. maybe 1 if i’m lucky.

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why have us queer people as a community normalized terms like "boygirl" or "girlboy" or other things like that but not like. the actual experience of being multigender. i swear some people will be like "ahaha its so cool and swag to be a #girlboy #boygirl" then turn around and be like "MEN DNI THIS POST IS ABOUT WOMEN" "MEN CANT BE LESBIANS (because no man is ever a woman too)" etc etc like come on guys

EDIT: i added an entire rant about this here

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every day i wake up and i pray to hoyo for hunt yingxing/blade form

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I know you know who I am