stitches-n-knives

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I should've killed those guys frfr

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That fucking sucked. The fuck. It was like sleep paralysis without the sleep

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Ugh I need to make a phone call today too kill me 😔

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Fr I don't need to crash out so much. About everything. I need to get over myself like. Desperately. I'm fine, I'm good, everything's good and fine and idk why I'm complaining so much about everything later

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Funny thing is I have crash outs like this on a daily about how much I dislike my shit/think everybody dislikes my writing and get mad at myself for being so niche and being basically a one trick pony, oh oh and only being able to write fucked up shit now for some reason and being into the same thing for years with zero desire to move on and etc etc etc but I usually keep my mouth shut about it bc it's FINE and I write for me and I still get some attention so why am I bitching and UGH THIS IS STUPID WHY AM I BITCHING

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I mean 2020 me was easily hitting 200-500 kudos a fic, sometimes more. Recently I'm lucky if I break double digits. I'm lucky if I get more than like 20. ://

Half of me blames it on locking all my fics and I'm about to say fuck so and unlock them bc idc anymore but even before that there was a decline. It's probably just. Half of the fandom moved on and doesn't wanna read MHA anymore, much less the same shit over and over anymore, and I should move onto another fandom like everybody else but I literally have no desire to

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I'm gonna stop going on on main before it turns into me bitching on main but ong all the fics mentioned are like 2019-2020 fics I don't even like those fics anymore why are they still more popular than my recent stuff that I actually like? It's all my old shit, too, not just one or two fics so it can't even be a fluke or something. My works were way more popular back then, or even just a couple years ago, and it's such a drastic incline. Like I'm grateful I even get comments and kudos, but going from literally dozens and dozens to like. 4 is fucking depressing.

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That was an esp fucked up dream Jane wtf

Anyway I'm so good at being chill and normal and not bitch and complain over nothing bc I have nothing to complain about 🤷

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It's 6am 😭

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I really do gotta stop just sayin' shit. I'm scaring the hoes

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It's like. Real.

Obviously I knew it was real but like. The rho and shit but it's like. Real... They're saying it's still being investigated because it's suspected to still be operating but holy fucking shit what do I do? Like what the fuck am I supposed to do?

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Oh my fucking God, they're investigating the trafficking ring

98??? Ninety-fucking-eight??? It was that big of an operation???

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I really oughta change my bandages but I don't wannaaaa

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Actually y'know what dammit I think Jane's been co-con that explains a lot

Project not lay around all day sad and feeling like im experiencing blood loss is not going good

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Project not lay around all day sad and feeling like im experiencing blood loss is not going good

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The debate of do I bother wrapping up my arms when they're not even bleeding? Yeah some of them are more moderate cuts but the majority are pretty surface level. Our legs are worse so those are covered. I don't wanna be wrapped up like a mummy. Plague might bitch later but idc

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I yelled at the sad lil doll girl during her bathroom breakdown 😭

Small wins tho; She did not call our Mom, and I was able to talk in her out of restarting her routine after the fourth time even if I wasn't exactly... chill about it

K I can do this and be a good deprogrammer and not yell at the sad lil doll girl during her bathroom break down