stormysun

[stormysun]

ooh title accepted

Expert Shmexpert

a game show proposal

the premise: each episode has several contestants, our schmexperts. They will pretend to be experts in the theme of the episode.

Let’s say the first episode is oceanography.

They will be presented with statements about the theme.

something like “While most believe that the majority of the ocean is composed of salt water, in fact only 2% is salt water, the majority of the ocean is in fact composed of stingray feces”

or it can even be something true, “The ocean produces over 70% of the Earths oxygen”

The schmexperts will buzz in and give a thorough “why” explanation on the statement.

Points will be awarded to whoevers explanation of the statement is the most convincing, so confidence is key.

Accuracy does not matter this is about bullshitting skill

There will be (of course) minigames within each episode.

Currently I have come up with two;

“Did You Know”, schmexperts are given a topic and told to come up with a fun fact about it, along the lines of “Did you know that butterflies are actually a subspecies of moth?” Again, accuracy is irrelevant and possibly discouraged.

The other one I don’t have a name for yet, but basically schmexperts are given an object and are asked to explain and demonstrate to the best of their abilities how it works, it cannot be the real life use of the object.

[stormysun]

Expert Shmexpert

a game show proposal

the premise: each episode has several contestants, our schmexperts. They will pretend to be experts in the theme of the episode.

Let’s say the first episode is oceanography.

They will be presented with statements about the theme.

something like “While most believe that the majority of the ocean is composed of salt water, in fact only 2% is salt water, the majority of the ocean is in fact composed of stingray feces”

or it can even be something true, “The ocean produces over 70% of the Earths oxygen”

The schmexperts will buzz in and give a thorough “why” explanation on the statement.

Points will be awarded to whoevers explanation of the statement is the most convincing, so confidence is key.

Accuracy does not matter this is about bullshitting skill

There will be (of course) minigames within each episode.

Currently I have come up with two;

“Did You Know”, schmexperts are given a topic and told to come up with a fun fact about it, along the lines of “Did you know that butterflies are actually a subspecies of moth?” Again, accuracy is irrelevant and possibly discouraged.

The other one I don’t have a name for yet, but basically schmexperts are given an object and are asked to explain and demonstrate to the best of their abilities how it works, it cannot be the real life use of the object.

[stormysun]

I’m tired. So goddamn tired.

I cannot leave this dungeon. It was created around me, and so I rule it. In many ways I am it. I watch as countless adventurers come in.

Few come out. Fewer still are successful.

I used to bet on it. Long after I lost my sympathy, but long before I became apathetic.

Every party looses at least one.

This time the bard dies first.

This crew has a weak leader, I doubt any will survive.

I became very good at it.

They rarely surprised me.

At some point I started noticing something. A girl.

She’s Always wearing a pink raincoat, but often covers it with a cloak or armor, hiding it from my view.

I suppose that’s why I missed her for so long.

She stopped covering the raincoat around when I stopped betting.

I stopped caring at all. And suddenly-

Suddenly someone else did.

For a long time I didn’t notice. Or perhaps I did. I just didn’t care.

I did my duty, I ran the dungeon. But I didn’t watch. The adventurers didn’t matter to me anymore, why should I watch.

I retreat, I hide from awareness, I hide from caring.

And that’s when it starts.

I don’t notice much, not at first.

But every time a party shows up, there she is. She bounces cheerily, and waves to me through my cameras.

Despite myself, I notice.

The adventurers don’t seem to notice her much, devising their plans, their strategies like always, sometimes with her, but usually ignoring her. Most of them die. Less die when she helps, but she usually doesn’t.

I start watching more. Eventually I reset the ping that alerts me whenever an adventuring party shows. More than that, I start watching when they do.

She waves to my cameras, and bounces around.

Sometimes she works with the parties, helping them get out. Sometimes she sits by their bodies.

I notice that she hasn’t spoken. She smiles, and points and laughs, and waves. But she doesn’t speak.

She starts bringing in flowers. I don’t know all of them, sometimes adventurers brought flowers, but not often, so I don’t know many.

Theres a beautiful red flower, although it doesn’t smell like much, and doesn’t seem to be a rose, it is similar.

She brings a rose once. I turn away, adventurers used to bring roses. They’d talk about love and good luck and laugh. And then I’d see their bodies, a bloodied rose crushed in their hands.

She brings strong smelling purple flowers often. She seems to like them, leaving bunches around. If I still felt, I’d like them too.

She’s never reached the heart. Or perhaps she did, before I noticed her. But not since. When the group she’s with does, she waits at the door, smiling, and waits until they exit or are all dead.

Today she brought in a potted plant. She’s less happy today. Sober, almost nervous. Her hands clutch the pot as the adventurers advance.

This party isn’t very skilled, they are picked off one by one. She follows behind, sometimes kneeling by a body, but never staying long.

When they are all gone, I start to turn away. She leaves once they’re gone, goes back to the outside world.

But she doesn’t. She keeps walking, all the way to the heart of the dungeon.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve been so present. So…invested. I cannot feel, but perhaps I’d wonder what she’s doing. Perhaps I’d be nervous.

She reaches the door. I expect her to- I don’t know what I expect her to do. It’s been a long time since I couldn’t predict an adventurer.

She adjusts the pot. Holding it against her hip. She bites her lip, and raises the other hand to the door.

She knocks.

That’s never happened before.

I open the door.

If I am anywhere in the dungeon, I am here.

She smiles, and holds out the pot.

I watch as she shifts when nothing happens. I watch as she pulls the pot back to herself, hugging it.

I watch as she slowly moves through the room. As she moves towards the small altar on the other side. I hadn’t bothered to fill it with treasure, this party would never get to the heart.

She places the pot down and smiles at it, and looks at my camera, and waves.

She kneels on the ground, it’s sandy and dusty, fitting for an old dungeon. She draws something in the dust.

For You.

My focus narrows in on that. I don’t get gifts. I- I don’t understand. Who is she? What does that mean? Why would she? What? No- But why- I don’t- This is wrong- But-

By the time I look, she’s gone again. When she reaches the exit, she places a small flower down. The purple fragrant one. With one last glance back, she walks out.

You are a dungeon master who has lived for an infinite amount of time. You have seen hundreds of thousands of adventurers enter your dungeon and never come out. However, there’s always this small, little girl in a light pink raincoat who has been in every single group. You don’t know who she is.

[stormysun]

Sometimes You forget where We come from.

The people have existed for a long time now. We don’t need to worry about Our past. We smile when You ask, mysterious secretive grins.

You don’t need to know.

I’ll tell you though. You can’t tell anyone else.

Some of Us came from the light. The dappled sunshine on the forest floor, but also the glare of LED lights in a doctors office.

Some of Us came from the darkness. The encroaching shadows on a late night out, but also the warmth of a quiet, dim room.

We are not good. We are not evil.

That is where They are wrong. They think We must be one or the other. Our world existed of light and darkness, so what nuance was there to be had.

They forgot that We emerged together. Light and Darkness. We do not exist without the other.

They forgot that the bright shine of Light could hide sinister dealings. But also could herald the day jn a welcoming sunrise.

They forgot that the quiet of Dark could mean comfort. But could also be dangerous, a hidden knife in an alley.

They chose to make Us one or the other. They forgot to learn.

They thought those of Us who were Light were Good. That those of Us who were Darkness were Evil.

They weren’t wrong.

But They weren’t right.

We came to Them. They cast off half of us. And now we cast off them.

They could not learn complexity. That Light could be cruel as well as kind. And that Darkness could hide threats but also hide one from threats.

I know you do not understand. You cannot. They saw the world in black and white, good and evil, wrong and right. They could not learn. We made Them learn.

You will not understand. You are not one of Them after all.

Perhaps I am falling to the same thing They did. You can understand. They are not all the same.

We will raise You. Our new generation. They are gone, and You will remember them. But where They were folly, You will not comprehend. We have given You a world in which there is no Darkness. But also no Light.

We have given you Truth. Lies. Joy. Sadness. Love. Hate. They perceived these to be opposites. You will understand that they are not.

You will be better. And as You grow, We will fade away, content to watch as You become better than Them.

After all, We were mistaken in Our first creation, in creating Sin and the Fruit.

We know better now. You will learn from the start, You know there is complexity in all things, and You will grow from it, and be Content.