str3lok

[str3lok]

new blog, so i'll be over there too, go give vic some love

「𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐏𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐑」 indie, canon divergent, mutually exclusive Victoria Neuman blog

A STUDY IN : power and control, inherited trauma, motherhood, manipulation, generational curses,politics, vengeance

as written by lee (25; she/her)

[str3lok]

begging (on my knees if i have to) for a ranch/ western group au

[str3lok]

she would have cursed god himself out, but kira was past believing that there was something greater than man. she believed in a life, a very specific life she lived. she believed in her country, in her parents and in ivan. she also believed in taking a life. it wasn't anything precious to her. you live it until you don't, and she had as much of a right as anyone to take it.

kira crouched low behind the rusted-out husk of a Soviet transport truck, its charred frame barely useful as cover. her unit—what was left of it—moved like shadows across the ridge, boots muffled in the coarse dirt, fingers tight on triggers. they were ghosts in enemy terrain, trained to strike and vanish. no names. no recognition. just orders.

but something was wrong. the usual static chatter in her earpiece was gone. radio silence.

Again.

she didn't like ghosts that weren't hers.

just as she signed for her second-in-command to flank the ridge, a whisper of movement behind her made her spine tighten. not the wind. not sand. something human. she spun, knife out in a blink, teeth bared in a silent snarl—ready to gut whoever made the mistake of creeping up on her—

and froze.

her blade was inches from the throat of the woman who taught her to hold it. red hair tucked beneath desert gear. eyes calm, infuriatingly calm.

❝what the fuck❞ she whispered, angry eyes locked on @viduanata

[str3lok]

fuck it starter call ! <3 this for a quick little thing the muse is high

[str3lok]

Дерево и кошка | A Tree and A Cat (1983)

[str3lok]

The Motherland calls

[str3lok]

red dead redemption 1 starters

❝ it’s wanting that gets so many folks in trouble. ❞ ❝ it ain’t no secret i didn’t get these scars falling over in church. ❞ ❝ if you win power, remember why you wanted it. ❞ ❝ you do a man wrong, he’ll shoot you for it. you do a man right…well, he still may shoot you for it. ❞ ❝ trust me. there’s things you’re better off not knowing. ❞ ❝ you remind me a lot of myself. how i used to be. stubborn and angry. ❞ ❝ i hope you will give me some warning if you get the sudden urge to kill me. ❞ ❝ my side wasn’t chosen. my side was given. ❞ ❝ a little sore, but apart from a couple extra scars, it will be as nothing happened. ❞ ❝ i don’t think you’re a bad person. a little stupid perhaps, but not rotten. ❞ ❝ i certainly don’t mind you asking, if you don’t mind me not telling. ❞ ❝ you are being deliberately obscure as a substitute for having a personality. ❞ ❝ so do tell me, have you needlessly risked your life since we last spoke? ❞ ❝ i came into this world fighting. and i’ll go out of it fighting. ❞ ❝ i hear you speak and suddenly i'm reminded of how the people i respected most in my life had a problem with authority. ❞ ❝ you're looking much better. considering you were almost buzzard food a couple days ago. ❞ ❝ power is like a drink. the more you have, the more you want. ❞ ❝ people don’t forget. nothing gets forgiven. ❞ ❝ sometimes in the service of what is right, you got to do terrible things. ❞ ❝ you have quite a story. i really am a little jealous. ❞ ❝ old friends make the worst enemies. ❞ ❝ i had everything, and gave it up in the pursuit of nothing. ❞ ❝ hah. you were always bad at lying. ❞ ❝ i’m not going to stand by and watch good people suffer. ❞ ❝ some trees flourish, others die. some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. ain't nothing fair. you know that. ❞ ❝ if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. ❞ ❝ now, if you don't mind, i'd hate to spoil such a beautiful afternoon on such beautiful land with any further unpleasantries. ❞ ❝ i, too, have a family, friend. and so that we may see our families again i suggest we part ways amicably. ❞ ❝ sometimes i tell myself that everything happens for a reason. ❞ ❝ i see the good in everybody. it’s a flaw of mine. ❞ ❝ well, try not to get yourself killed. ❞ ❝ see if you can keep your gun holstered for once. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay much attention to rumors. ❞ ❝ i swear, if it was down to me, i’d never have gone anywhere. ❞ ❝ lock all the doors. whatever happens, don’t come outside. you hear me? whatever happens. ❞ ❝ what would you care? i’m just a nuisance to you anyway. ❞ ❝ i’ve been hearing some things about you. ❞ ❝ i would rather be dead than a cynic like you. ❞ ❝ damn, a little gratitude wouldn’t kill you. ❞ ❝ trust me, i ain’t no hero. ❞ ❝ as it turns out, it's you or me. the way i see it, might as well be you. ❞ ❝ you live in a dream world. it ain’t like they tell it in books. ❞ ❝ i’m asking you to do what i say, before you get yourself killed. ❞ ❝ those who sit on the fence make a choice…in their own way. ❞ ❝ i’d do anything for you, you know that. ❞ ❝ better watch your mouth, my friend. i've cut out a man's tongue for less. ❞ ❝ there's nothing worse than a nobody thinking he's a somebody. ❞ ❝ you got it all wrong. i’ve always loved you, even now. ❞ ❝ what the hell were you thinking, going off on your own? ❞ ❝ first impressions are hard to erase. ❞ ❝ it’s a long story. too long to tell without a drink in my hand. ❞ ❝ i’m not angry. i’m disappointed. ❞ ❝ you know me. i’ll be late to my own funeral. ❞ ❝ that tone of voice ain’t so becoming on you. makes you seem all pent up and angry. ❞ ❝ you think i don’t know who you are. ❞ ❝ why don’t i get a warm and tender embrace? ❞ ❝ what do you want me to say? yippee? ❞ ❝ there’s always a choice. you’re just too blind to see. ❞ ❝ you’re not ready for that yet. one step at a time. ❞ ❝ every time you go off, i worry you’re not coming back. ❞ ❝ it didn’t have to be this way. ❞ ❝ come on now. try to look on the bright side. ❞

❝ after all i taught you…i’m ashamed. ❞ ❝ it’s easy to make promises you can never keep. ❞ ❝ we all make mistakes. i never claimed to be a saint. ❞ ❝ how does it feel to kill hundreds of men in cold blood? ❞ ❝ it ain’t the first time i had a gun to my head. ❞ ❝ you’re not perfect, and i’m sure not. but you’re better than they are. ❞ ❝ you alright? you’re not hurt, are you? ❞ ❝ this really couldn’t have gone more horribly wrong. ❞ ❝ you’re just like me. you can’t change who you are. ❞ ❝ my whole life, all i ever did was fight. ❞ ❝ you’re in no position to make demands. ❞ ❝ the bright side? there ain’t no bright side. ❞ ❝ my heart’s beating like a drum. ❞ ❝ are you sure you’re alright? i mean, i know all that business must have been hard on you. ❞ ❝ you’ll make me blush with all these kind words. ❞ ❝ i never took you for the jealous type. ❞ ❝ come now, you’re stupid, but you’re not that stupid. ❞ ❝ you’re weak. you always were. you never had the stomach for this. ❞ ❝ seems real quiet, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ you were always a hard and nasty man. ❞ ❝ see, i have nothing but your best intentions at heart. ❞ ❝ don’t talk about things you don’t understand. ❞ ❝ i guess there’s only one room for one hero in this family. ❞ ❝ for a wise man, you are a really stupid man. ❞ ❝ what would have happened if i hadn’t come along? ❞ ❝ you must have mistaken me for someone else, friend. ❞ ❝ you ain’t very talkative, are you? ❞ ❝ we cannot be too careful. the world is very dangerous. ❞ ❝ no, i’m not okay. do i look like i’m okay? ❞ ❝ you are so tense all the time. come, let’s have some fun! ❞ ❝ i will stay and fight. i am ready to die if necessary. ❞ ❝ i know i can’t change the past but i’m sure gonna do something about the future. ❞ ❝ i’ve given you no reason not to trust me. ❞ ❝ choose your tone rightly. remember who you’re talking to. ❞ ❝ there are guards everywhere. if they see you, they will kill you. ❞ ❝ it was nothing. i’m not a kid any more.❞ ❝ a lonely, forsaken place. some people say it’s haunted. ❞ ❝ i’m not sure your idea of paradise and mine are the same. ❞ ❝ maybe if you were more cordial to folks, they’d be better inclined to help you. ❞ ❝ i’ve been in far worse situations. ❞ ❝ you have the exterior of a violent man, but the soul of an angel. ❞ ❝ you’re not gonna pass out on me, are you? ❞ ❝ you’re no better. how many men have you killed? ❞ ❝ stay alert. something doesn’t feel right. ❞

❝ i'm going to hand you over to them and watch them tear you limb from limb…i'm just kidding. ❞ ❝ you love to talk badly of other people because it makes you feel better about yourself. ❞ ❝ it’s been a pleasure spending time with you. ❞ ❝ that’s a lot of sacrifice. i just hope it’s worth it. ❞ ❝ i’m not cut out for this. no, not cut out for this at all. ❞ ❝ i don’t need you to show me. ❞ ❝ men are born, and then they're formed. at least, that’s how i see it. ❞ ❝ a little flattery…now we’re finally getting somewhere. ❞ ❝ i thought you were supposed to be fearless. ❞ ❝ you are a man who has lost his spirit. ❞ ❝ if you were less secretive, people might be more inclined to trust you. ❞ ❝ me mean me no harm? this is funny. what harm could you do to me, exactly? ❞ ❝ come on, after everything we’ve been through, i think we can trust each other, don’t you? ❞ ❝ i can’t rightly believe it. just like in the books. ❞ ❝ i didn’t ask for your help back there. i owe you nothing. ❞ ❝ be careful. what’s stopping me from killing you? ❞ ❝ one day, i promise you, you’re gonna regret this. ❞ ❝ you know i’ll do whatever i can, but i have problems of my own. ❞ ❝ what would you know about leadership? ❞ ❝ you make a choice by not making a choice, you know. ❞ ❝ hold your excuses until you figure out which one to use. ❞ ❝ i'll give you a bad case of "someone just shot me in the head" if you don't hurry up. ❞ ❝ being honest though, this tastes bad enough to kill a man. ❞ ❝ do i look like i need saving? ❞ ❝ sarcasm should be beneath a man such as you. ❞ ❝ are you always this stupid or are you making an extra effort today? ❞ ❝ i don’t like to kill a man on his knees, even if he deserves it. ❞ ❝ don't forget you need me more than i need you. ❞ ❝ i’ll hunt you to hell and back. ❞ ❝ you’d best not be lying to me. ❞ ❝ let's get going. before the weather gets any worse. that sky don't look good.. ❞ ❝ thank you for telling me all that back there. it must have been hard for you. ❞ ❝ i know we ain't exactly old pals, but…have i ever done you wrong? ❞ ❝ your nobility's almost as affecting as your naivety. ❞ ❝ you are a romantic who wants to be a cynic. ❞ ❝ i apologize if i seem to be prying. ❞ ❝ strange place for a decent person to visit, if you don't mind me saying. ❞ ❝ well, you must admit…it's an unusual start to a friendship. ❞ ❝ i can’t really say i understand you. ❞ ❝ every man has a right to change, a chance of forgiveness. ❞ ❝ hello, old friend. it’s been a long time. ❞ ❝ i hope you understand now why i've been playing my cards somewhat close to my chest. ❞ ❝ nobody made my path but me. ❞ ❝ it’ll be a piece of cake. trust me. ❞ ❝ oh, don’t be so deliberately enigmatic. ❞ ❝ my word, what a difficult life you’ve lived. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ stay and fight me, you coward. ❞ ❝ i ain't planning on staying very long. ❞

[str3lok]

happy hanukkah! i've been slow (not here at all actually) because life got very busy but i'll be here to do the drafts on sunday : )

[str3lok]

I know you're not afraid of a little dark. Because you are the dark. Longlegs (2024) dir. Oz Perkins

[str3lok]

PETER SUTHERLAND & ROSE LARKIN in THE NIGHT AGENT (season 2 promo) ❤️

[str3lok]

kira was stuck in one of those conversations. and she had just about exhausted every viable question, remark and offhanded sly comment, when a tap on her shoulder awoke her from a trance of awful chitchat.

she turned on her heels and smirked. of course it's him. of course he'd do that. kira would indulge him, she had nothing against a bit of fun. but, at the end of the day, she knew colt. and she knew herself.

❝i think you have to earn that❞ she brought her lips up to his, just enough to reply without actually kissing.

the redhead raised her hand and slowly took the mistletoe from his hand. the devil himself couldn't rival the smirk she wore --she wanted to have fun, would be a real shame if she let him get what he wanted so easily.--

❝look at america's sweetheart trying to mingle with the russians.❞ she continued, taking his hand, intertwining her fingers with his. --the problem was, kira didn't know how he'd earn that. she knew she'd indulge the both of them and the night would end at her apartment. how they're going to get to that point? she'll figure out soon enough. for now being chased and desired was enough.--

❝how are you going to sweep me off my feet?❞ she teased, nursing on her drink. an old fashined, classy and strong, just about the only two things kira needed from her alcohol.

Christmas Starter for @str3lok

The party was in full swing by the time Colt finally spotted her across the room. Kira Romanova. She had this way of existing in spaces that made everything else feel like background noise—like a flickering candle in a sea of dimmed lights. Even now, in the soft glow of twinkling Christmas lights and the chatter of the others around them, his focus zeroed in on her immediately.

She wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, just standing there with a drink in hand, laughing at something someone had said. But that laugh—it was the kind that made his chest feel lighter, like he’d inhaled a lungful of winter air that somehow didn’t sting. He found himself grinning like an idiot just watching her.

And then it hit him.

The mistletoe.

Colt had spotted it earlier when he’d ducked into the kitchen to grab a drink. Someone had left a sprig dangling above the fridge, and he’d pocketed it, half on a whim, half because he figured someone might as well put it to good use. Now, with his heart doing a ridiculous tap-dance in his chest, he realized this was his chance to do something—well, something stupid, probably, but also maybe a little bit brilliant.

Before he could overthink it, he grabbed the sprig from his pocket and strode across the room, weaving through clusters of people with the kind of ease that came from years of practice moving unnoticed. Not that he was trying to go unnoticed now. Quite the opposite.

When he reached her, Kira had her back turned, still engrossed in conversation. He hesitated for the briefest of moments, wondering if this was too much. Too ridiculous. But then he grinned, because being ridiculous was kind of his thing.

Raising the mistletoe above her head, Colt cleared his throat, a playful smirk already tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Hey, Romanova,” he said, his voice light and teasing, but loud enough to cut through the noise. “You busy?” His gaze went from hers up to land on the sprig of green and white in his hand.

The room seemed to hold its breath, or maybe that was just him. Either way, Colt leaned a little closer, his grin widening as he raised the mistletoe just a bit higher.

“Pretty sure this means you owe me a kiss,” he said, his tone cocky but his eyes soft. His heart was pounding now, loud enough that he was sure she could hear it, but he held his ground, waiting to see how this would play out.

[str3lok]

an agent of kira's pedigree would never admit she made a mistake. by all accounts, everything happened too fast to account for error. --at one point, she might have even selfishly wallowed in her peace, mistake one.--

first, the comms went out, and before she had any real chance to react, the explosion happened. this part was simple, she was mowed down by the shockwave. --metaphorically speaking, kira had the wind knocked out of her.-- and, before she could regroup and collect her thoughts, the shooting started. disorganized, feral almost. the redhead turned on her stomach, and covering her exposed neck, started to crawl behind a wall so she could return fire.

she didn't know where @viduanata was, not really. the widow was supposed to be on the northeast side of the building, but everything happened so fast, frankly speaking, kira didn't know where she was, let alone her mother. she peered over the wall and emptied a round. the dust still hasn't settled, kira was shooting on a hunch. a bullet whizzed past her head and she ducked back down.

❝fuck!❞ she swore, scrambling to cover herself again. she didn't know who was shooting at her, let alone where from. and that wasn't really important, because the next thing she remembers is a hooded figure tackling her from the side. both of them landed a few blows and kira didn't notice a blade pierce her shoulder, --everything was happening too fast for her to process anything--

mistake number two, she ran. she didn't know better, an animalistic reflex sounded the alarms and shook her nervous system. she ran way past the tree line, like the wind carried her. a divine intervention for god's favorite sinner. then she passed out.

when she came to her senses, it was dark and her shoulder was screaming in agony. she knew better than to remove a blade from a stab wound. disoriented and in pain, kira propped herself up against a tree and lit a cigarette. it was bent, and her last one, but she didn't care. she needed a moment to think. think about what has happened, think about what will happen, and think about her next step.

[str3lok]

kira: "this creepy fucking clown is the worst i have seen in my career. his murders are brutal and animalistic, he's a menace"

meanwhile, art:

@t-errifier

[str3lok]

she felt as if she would forever be there, stuck in the moment. gun pressed against her temple, snow covering every bad decision that led her there. on her knees praying to a god she didn't believe in, waiting to be executed like a lame horse.

kira jumped from the bed, a deer frozen in the headlights of a time that passed. it had passed, that much was true, a categorical fact. she lived. they both did. she couldn't deny that, but the part of her brain that dabbled in facts was locked away. she stumbled to the window, climbing out to the fire escape. she wrapped her arms around her knees and let the cold night air brush across her face

one, two, three, four, five... slowly, the redhead came to her senses, she peered out the window and motioned for ian to join her.

❝sorry❞ kira muttered, her voice still dry and hoarse. she wanted nothing more than to disappear in his arms, run away from the nightmares and never face them again. but she knew that was impossible. this work is what she was cut out for. and she liked it. loved the chase, loved the hunt. but she was tired of paying the price. ❝i-❞ she started, resting her head on his shoulder. they knew eachother far too well for kira to have to explain herself. but none the less, she continued. ❝russia, again.❞ she quieted after that, looking over the fence, taking in the view. the town was never quiet, never empty, never asleep. she liked that. ❝we should get away for a little while.❞ kira finally blurted out, turning her head for a few degrees to catch glimpse of ian.

❝let's try and be normal people, civilians❞ her tone quieted, her usual tone washed out from the anxiety. she was tired, and she knew it showed. ❝until duty calls again❞ she sighed, leaning her head back and kissing ian on the nape of his neck. her heart was still pounding, but her hands calmed, much too occupied by ian holding them to shake.

it's late. the sky is speckled by stars and kira's tired. and as she laid there, with ian by her side, soiling the fresh snow with her blood, she could only keep repeating 'i love you, i love you, i love you.' and perhaps that's how a whole, enormous world can be created. out of five vowels and three consonants. a world she wouldn't live to see.

the first few days were rough, to say the least. kira was in and out of consciousness --and the time spent awake, she screamed, because the nightmares didn't stop, because they wouldn't let her see him, because they wouldn't tell her anything about his condition. she would have cried, but the sobs were drowned out by the pain in her chest--

she would have cursed god himself out, but kira was past believing that there was something greater than man, because when she was dying, her crimson blood spilling on the snow, she didn't see a light, or st. peter waiting by the gates. all she saw was dark, not comforting or soothing, not even scary, just darkness. she was cold until she wasn't.

kira wouldn't call @nomanslannd a soulmate. she didn't believe in divine intervention, or chance. she willed this. knit the threads of fate one by one until they spelled his name. he loved him intentionally, with every bit of conscience she was born with.

the nightmares still didn't stop. she jerked awake, the sudden movement making the pain in her chest spread rapidly until there was nothing but pain and fear. she pressed her back against the bedframe, throwing her head against it. a part of her knew she was safe now, in bed with ian, but the other, less logical part of her brain was back there, outnumbered in the snow.

[str3lok]

Questioning Sentences, Vol. 24

(Questioning sentences from various sources to ask all kinds of muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Do you honestly think that now is the right time for this conversation?"

"Don't you think I know what I sounded like today? Do you think I enjoy being humiliated and laughed at like that?"

"Are you mocking me?"

"Are you watching my house?"

"Do I sense the cold silence of disapproval?"

"If we identify a UFO, does that just mean it's an FO?"

"Do you believe there's something out there?"

"Do you know the difference between order and chaos?"

"What happened to your resolution to be more accepting?"

"You hate anyone who can't do what you do, don't you?"

"Do you still believe humanity can do better?"

"Is there really ever such a thing as an accident?"

"Where have you been all my life?"

"Why are you trying so hard to get rid of me?"

"How does it feel to know that you have failed?"

"You like fighting, don't you?"

"Do you want revenge? Is that what you're thinking right now?"

"You're a smart man. You could be anywhere doing anything. Why do you do this?"

"Hey, are you experiencing an ominous sense of foreboding?"

"Are you really going to pull that trigger?"

"They all hate me. You don't hate me, do you?"

"What am I afraid of? I think the better question is what are you afraid of?"

"Have you any idea how much I've missed you?"

"How much longer are you going to drag your heels before you tell her how you feel?"

"How did they manage to get so many snobs in one place?"

"Have you thought about what you're going to do when you retire?"

"Do you think he'll be jealous?"

"Do you ever wish there was another way?"

"You're a pretty smart kid, you know that?"

"Do I strike you as someone who can't speak for herself?"

"Is there a Greek god of disappointment?"

"Aren't you a little young to be getting married?"

"Why would you say something like that?"

"When exactly was the last time you had a psych evaluation?"

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Do you remember the last time we danced?"

"If you can't trust your own mind, then what have you got?"

"I never knew so many books even existed. Have you read them all?"

"You'd use your gun on my mother?"

"So, how did you become a hostage?"

"We've never met before, right?"

"What are you doing here, apart from trying to avoid me?"

"What? You telling me you've never had a thing for bad boys?"

"They say you're a genius. Are you?"

"How come you always have to lead?"

"Do you enjoy threatening people?"

"Did you have a happy childhood?"

[str3lok]

that creepy fucking clown. again. fuck! opening the case file, she carefully laid the pictures across the floor. ❝yikes❞ was just about the only thing she could muster out, without the words getting stuck in her throat. kira examimed every picture, before setting them back down. the guy's good. she could admit that much. these murders were different. no apparent motive, no connections, what a sick fuck.

shifting, kira turned to look at the time. 2:23 am, not bad. still, the agent couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her, just outside her plane of view. she instinctively ran her hand over her gun --as if it could disappear during the four minutes she didn't check if it was there.-- kira didn't know if she was being paranoid. and the silence didn't help. @t-errifier was the worst of a small crop that never yielded too much. except the miles county clown. a heart for theatrics and bloodshed. unreasonable? the redhead didn't know. possibly.

[str3lok]

accidentaly becoming important at work is the bane of my existance send tweet