strawberryles

[strawberryles]

Never let go of the happy moments even when the hard ones out way the happy.

I'm so lucky to have an amazing partner. However there are so many time where our little one will be horrible to her just because and it is really hard.

Feeling trapped in an endless loop of anger and nastiness when you work so hard to try and keep things happy and good.

To the outside world all looks perfect but when we get home it is not perfect. We have tried so many things and it never changes.

Keep hoping things will get better that maybe something we do will work and it doesn't.

We love our little one so very much and she is always told how much she is loved. On the flip side we are no longer spoken to or shown love from her.

I feel lost like it is somehow all my fault like I'm the one who has caused this yet I cannot work out how or what to do to fix it.

[strawberryles]

As I start this off, I reflect on all the moments that caused me turmoil.

Moments of peace seem hard to come by.

But it is important to take time to stop and breath even for a second.

[strawberryles]

They say being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. No one mentions the roller coaster of self doubt and utter loneliness (even when often times you are far from alone) never mind the pure guilt.

I'm lucky to have a beautiful little girl and an amazingly perfect partner and yet sometimes it all gets too much.

My daughter may be beautiful and in public is picture perfect. Somehow behind closed doors, I feel as if I am never doing it right. Every time I start to feel like I've got all the pieces together the whole thing crumbles and it gets harder and harder to start picking them up again.

As I know I shouldn't, I read stories of other mothers having what seems to be the easiest time parenting and of course I end up comparing myself and my situation to theirs.

Maybe it's just me but I thought I'd find a place to write where maybe others will read and be able to feel they are not alone in there own feelings. Something I wish I'd had through all this time.