strollsroyce

[strollsroyce]

Character with little to no empathy being a good person will always be more interesting than them being a bad person

[strollsroyce]

i think all bush is w by the way. george isn’t special

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I think more media should narratively punish parents for not listening to their kids and specifically I think it should punish them in cruel and terrifying ways. I want real life parents to go through life with a healthy fear that if they ignore their children's boundaries a witch might cook and eat them

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Any plan for combating CSA is going to have to reckon with the fact that teenagers are often horny and feel a desire to explore and express their sexuality and if they don't have a safe avenue for that which doesn't involve interacting with adult predators they will find an unsafe one which does

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I've seen plenty of pictures of junk. All the time. I know what a vulva and a penis look like. They don't look like mine. They never have.

Even the modern color-coded diagrams of ambiguous genitalia. It's all simplified and displays it in an underdeveloped state. Because these diagrams are used in the identification of "deformities" in babies and small children. They are not anatomical refrences, displaying a body as it is, but rather visuals for diagnostic criteria.

All of these things look familiar to me, in that I've seen them plenty of times before. I never really acknowledged that none of these things actually looked like what I see when I look at my own nude body. The strangest thing is that I've never thought much of it, for years. At least, not until I saw something that actually did resemble what I have.

It was one of those old 1800s anatomical drawings of "hermaphrodite genitals" refrenced from fully grown un-mutilated intersex people, those are what looks truly familiar to me and to my knowledge of myself. Complete with all the wrinkles of skin, pubic hair, imperfections and asymmetries that reminded me that this was a life drawing of a real person.

I remember when it hit me. The thought that I was looking at the objectified, pathologized, immortalized body of person who existed over a hundred years before I was born.

And they looked like me. In a way I had never seen before.

[strollsroyce]

Just a thought, but I think that something that often gets overlooked in the romance vs friendship/QPR debate is how those things are just as socially constructed as gender, and do not, in fact, fall into a strict binary, or even trinary system. Relationships between people are fluid, negotiated things, and terms like partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, friend, etc, mean different things to different people, cultures and eras.

Whether two or more people decide to make their specific type of relationship exclusive, or committed or intimate; whether they’re attracted to each other, or decide to have sex, or live together, or cuddle; whether they do all, or none, or some of those things, they should be allowed to label it how they please. QPR, bromance, FWB, open relationship, polycule, etc. Sure, those terms carry connotations and assumptions, but hailing them as absolutes without any gray areas shows a lack of understanding for human behaviour, and creates unnecessary stigma and difficulties for people who are poly, ace, or aro, as well as anyone whose hierarchy of relationships is just different from the expected norm.

[strollsroyce]

anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

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It will never cease to irk me when people look at devices and tools made for disability and call it a "scam" just because it doesn't work for them.

Of course, kinesiology tape doesn't work on you if you don't have connective tissue or soft tissue damage. Your body doesn't need help holding itself together. Mines does.

"Posture braces are a scam, you should just exercise more." Okay, what if you can't? What if no matter how much you exercise, your body will always need extra support.

"Foam rollers don't actually do anything, just do exercise." Again, see the above.

"Neck traction devices? Pft, stop being lazy and exercise." Again. See. The. Above. Also, speaking as someone with a severe neck injury, sometimes you need those devices to exercise. And yes, sometimes moving half an inch is considered exercise depending on the nature of your injury and limitations. My current goal in physical therapy is to hold my neck up on my own for longer than ten seconds while lying on my back. It's taken me a year of intensive work to manage it. The traction devices have been a part of this, as recommended by my physical therapist.

"Balance boards, omg what are you, a baby who can't walk?" IN SOME CASES, FUCKING YES.

Like I get it, I get it. You've seen the infomercials and they look goofy, or you just plain cannot think of a situation where you personally might ever need some sort of assistance with your body. But good news! Disability is the only minority group you can become a part of at any moment through sheer bad luck, age, illness or a genetic ticking time bomb hiding in your DNA. May the odds be ever in your favor, and if not, may you encounter kinder people than yourself.

[strollsroyce]

Fandom needs less representation for tops who are selfless and "just like helping their partners feel good and explore their desires" and more representation for tops who are embodying the Nine Inch Nails "Closer"/Depeche Mode "Soothe My Soul" vibes in terms of being a broken trembling husk of a person who is grounded and made whole and purified by someone else willingly absorbing the brute force of their need. That's just my opinion, man.

[strollsroyce]

There’s a phrase that has saved my adhd ass from making so many impulse purchases. It’s a very important phrase. Everybody repeat after me.

They won’t stop showing you the ad just because you bought it.

[strollsroyce]

“I wish I could be a boy” You can

“I wish I could penetrate but I don’t have a penis” There’s a surgery for that

“I want to piss standing up” The surgery does that too, but also have you heard of an STP device? You should look into those

“I like the effects testosterone could give me but what if people think I’m ugly after I start” would you rather be happy and ugly or beautiful and miserable

“I want to cut my hair short and look more like a guy but everyone is begging me to not cut my hair” bestie, it’s your hair and they can go fuck themselves

“I wish I was born a boy” The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, the second best time is today

“I wish I was a boy” I have great news for you

[strollsroyce]

On the topic of women not altering their bodies or appearances (i.e. makeup, shaving, etc.) making them gnc in the eyes of society, and how fucked up that is, it's wild to me the way some people see that as something that only applies to cis women. OP tagged that post as "trans friendly", but so many people see a trans woman just... not altering her body or appearance and see that as somehow fundamentally different than a cis woman doing so. There are people who rail against shaving body hair as a cis woman, but then discredit a trans woman for not shaving her facial hair. There's people that will insist that traditional makeup is a tool of the patriarchy, and then criticize a trans woman for not wearing it. People will talk about how cis women shouldn't be expected to conform to gender-based expections of their appearances, and then immediately say that a trans woman who chooses for whatever reason not to base her appearance on those same expectations is somehow out of line for doing so. Like, if you as a cis woman don't have to perform gender, why should a trans woman? That's her body, she literally lives there, and she can do whatever she wants forever, just like you

[strollsroyce]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[strollsroyce]

just saw someone (a trans + autistic person) say "most trans people are autistic" so just wanted to clear up real quickly. that is not true. you cannot separate the autism/trans overlap from the reality that many trans people have to have psych evals in order to access healthcare, which makes us more likely to be identified as autistic. when I was trying to access HRT, my doctor gave me questionnaires for autism and ADHD. many of my friends who are on HRT had to get evaluated for gender dysphoric disorder, and picked up other diagnoses in the process. this is altogether unsurprising to me, and it should be unsurprising to anyone who has been through those layers of psychiatric screening

I'm not saying there's a 0% chance of a real overlap existing between the two groups. it is an overlap that would make some sense. but 1) it's certainly not "most" trans people, and 2) you cannot trust any data about a group that is more likely to be exposed to pathologising processes than the majority

[strollsroyce]

call me zac because idk what the efron with me

[strollsroyce]

‘If I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes’ what’s the other option here? naked?