stuffandsundry

[stuffandsundry]

i hate australian people they need a dumb fucking nickname for every single word. can’t even get in a car accident without some australian asshole coming up to you and saying “oh gotcha self in a carblammy there aintcha mate” kill yourself and go to hell

[stuffandsundry]

[stuffandsundry]

last night I conceived of a truly diabolical plan of pointless and petty evil and I shall have such fun putting it into action. a little birthday present to myself.

[stuffandsundry]

FOOD HUBRIS BY COUNTRY america: believes their shitty local burger chain is a once-in-a-lifetime culinary experience because their mayo includes onion paste canada: if your poutine tastes better than the styrofoam plate it comes on you will discover the cold rage that lies under the canadian's polite exterior united kingdom: despite thriving and unique fusion cuisines spreading from the UK to the rest of the world in recent decades, when asked to think of 'british food' the average UK citizen will start a fight over whether cold beans with a modest side of white bread is haute cuisine france: McDo Ortolan Bunting italy: extremely mad about american versions of italian food. blissfully ignorant of what happens in brazil brazil: if the scientific genius applied to making cronenbergian pizzas were applied to anything else, brazilians would all be commuting to jobs on the moon. They have pizza that can feel pain russia: obviously mayonnaise is the perfect topping for all foodstuffs, this is solved. The question is what to put on top of mayonnaise, and it might never be answered germany: less a joke than a fact: the single most produced numbered Volkswagen part is a standardized currywurst

[stuffandsundry]

This person needs to be arrested im going to cry

[stuffandsundry]

You didn't pre-order that figure that had a pre order window of 2 weeks 6 years ago and how it's $700 on ebay

[stuffandsundry]

clowns don’t exist on cybertron

[stuffandsundry]

"Would you look at that, mercury's in Gatorade."

"I don't believe in astrology."

"No, I mean there is a recall."

[stuffandsundry]

Yeah that tracks

[stuffandsundry]

Not gonna say it again

[stuffandsundry]

news is looking pretty good lately

[stuffandsundry]

Who else up thinking about bjj black belt craig jones saying You can give anyone steroids. Despite our best efforts we are yet to give anyone autism.

[stuffandsundry]

it would've been cooler if those animals they sent into space came back with superpowers

[stuffandsundry]

has anyone noticed that to clean smth u often have to get smth else dirty

massively fucked up

[stuffandsundry]

when i took my car to get inspected to see whether it would make one final cross country trip, the mechanic grimaced & said, “i mean….would I let my sister take this vehicle through the Rockies…..?”

I said “how about a complete stranger [me] you have zero emotional investment in” and he brightened up & said “if you’re keen for an adventure!”

[stuffandsundry]

rule #1 of being a child soldier is to have fun and be yourself