stupidlytiredstudent

[stupidlytiredstudent]

My grandma recently died.

I thought I handled it well. But apparently I am now experiencing very slow grief where everything feels weird and floaty and I'm constantly tired and unable to rest the tired away. I can't focus at work at all, am behind on everything, and feel like a stupid idiot 99% of the time.

The only grief I knew was the explosive kind, that leaves a strange silence afterwards but it's heading towards healing. But instead I have the sheer horror of knowing someone I loved for my entire life is underground with her cast still on her arm. I have a quiet, slow, tide-like grief that is consuming me because she was old and we expected her death but it's still death and she's still gone forever and I don't know how to deal with it.

I am so very tired and stressed.

[stupidlytiredstudent]

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

[stupidlytiredstudent]

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

[stupidlytiredstudent]

[stupidlytiredstudent]

love saying "question mark?" out loud when I'm talking about something i'm unsure of

[stupidlytiredstudent]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[stupidlytiredstudent]

STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

[stupidlytiredstudent]

You know for the first 18-ish years of your life everyone your age is mostly doing the same things and then all of a sudden every year for the rest of your life somebody your age is getting divorced while somebody else just learned what a leaf is and you have no idea what’s going on or what you’re supposed to be doing

[stupidlytiredstudent]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[stupidlytiredstudent]

[stupidlytiredstudent]

[stupidlytiredstudent]

[stupidlytiredstudent]

*Puts brief case down on the table and takes off glasses very seriously* “So about that AU we discussed that one time.”

[stupidlytiredstudent]

Isn't this how dogs love - fully, wholeheartedly, and unconditionally? My puppy has made me understand and love myself more, because she loves me so much.

A dog's love and devotion to their family is unparalleled by any other being I have ever known. And, wildly enough, for dogs, this kind of love is often perfectly sustainable (unlike for most people, where this kind of dynamic can quickly turn abusive or exploitative).

There are truly no words strong enough to express how much I love dogs.

My favorite relationship dynamic in fiction is a worshipper and their God. Not a literal God, but their God. The only thing in the whole world that matters to them. I will live for you, I would die for you, I would kill for you. My only moral compass is You. You can do no wrong in my eyes and I will never stray from your side. I was born to meet you and to love you. You are the only being I pray to. Your life isn’t just my passion, it’s my religion. You don’t think you’re anything special but you don’t see what I see. You don’t see that you’re the only person who’s ever made me feel this way. You don’t understand how beautiful you are to me and I will devote my entire life to making you understand and accept it.

[stupidlytiredstudent]

noticing trends in your own ocs personalities can make you stare at your keyboard like. okay motherfucker take it to the therapist office not the toyhouse profile.

[stupidlytiredstudent]

Inside me are two prevailing thoughts.

1:

There is joy beyond this cage you have made of paper mache. Break through it and you will see the blue sky, for the first time in many years. Allow yourself to imagine what your skin will feel like, once it is warm and sun-kissed again.

And 2:

I am a being of leather, filled with sand. Hit me where it hurts, I will spill when I break. Do not be sorry, for I am made for it.

I cannot tell which is louder - both are terrifying in their own right.

[stupidlytiredstudent]