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Dear Chester, You came to me last night in a dream. I was lying in bed and you reached out to grab my hand and ask me what was wrong, but I felt like I couldn’t answer. I was so angry at you, didn’t you know? But I had this feeling that you were taking your time and visiting anyone who really needed to see you, and I’m grateful; I really did need to hear your voice last night.
I asked you to stay, begged you, but you just smiled and said “Tonight.” and I realized that I couldn’t ask something like that of you. After all, how selfish is it to demand you leave paradise to come back to this…dumpster fire of a world? How could I ask you to leave God’s embrace to comfort us when you would just have to leave again? I made you promise anyway. You agreed. I woke up with my arm outstretched.
Chester, I still feel your hand in mine.
Nine days since the rug as been torn out from under me. But the world is still spinning, faster than ever, without you.
I went through an angry phase. I swore the next time I saw you I was going to knock your teeth out for being such an idiot. But I’m not angry anymore. I was thinking about your music and your past and that heavy ache that made its home in your chest. I know that pain, Chester. I know it because it feels like someone has attached rocks to my ankles and convinced me it would be better just to lay in bed. What’s the point? You’re already gone. I know that pain changes things permanently in your heart. I know someone broke you when you were far too young to understand it. I know that pain too. In listening to you speak about mental health, I’ve realized that maybe it doesn’t ever get better; that you can do everything right and still hurt so unbearably. But with that in mind, 41 years is a long time to suffer. And maybe you weren’t suffering the moment you were born, so let’s round it up to 30. Thirty years, Chester. That’s such a long time. An incredible amount of time. You made a career for yourself, had a family, saw the world. We weren’t ready for you to go, but we had you so much longer than I think any of us could ever appreciate.
I forgive you. It’s in my nature. You weren’t someone I talked about every day or had posters of on my wall. But you were always a constant. Always someone I could look at and be reminded of the past, whether I wanted to think about it or not. I wouldn’t mind wiping that slate clean, but not at the cost of you. Not having you here has knocked the wind out of me and I’m still trying to get back up.
Chester, I love you, and I forgive you. You said you wanted our lives to have purpose and passion and I’ll admit I’m still trying to find that. I don’t want them to take down the memorials. I don’t want them to change their profile pictures back to anything else. I just want the world to stop spinning for a fucking second. I don’t want the world to prove you right; that it doesn’t matter, that you haven’t changed anyone’s life for the better. You wouldn’t believe this world right now, Chester. There is so much love and so much passion between fans and friends and family right now. I believe you’d be proud. But I’m just being honest when I say I don’t know how to move in a world where you don’t live, and create, and be, anymore.
Chester, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you were drowning and nobody could reach you in time. I’m sorry that nobody asked if you were okay. I’m sorry if they did and you lied. No matter what I do, I can’t shake this feeling that we failed you.
I pray for your family, your babies, your bandmates and your friends every day. I ask that they come to know God if they don’t already, that He gives them peace, that they know like I do how well He’s taking care of you. There is something so comforting about knowing that they will see you again, that I will see you again.
I might not get out of bed again today. I haven’t figured out the art of missing you and being functional at the same time. But I’ll get there, and then maybe one day, when I don’t even realize it, the pain won’t be so noticeable. This is not a goodbye. I hate those. I know I’ll see you again. “Remember you’re loved, and you always will be.”
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Translation: Special CLAMP Interview, TSUBASA CARACTere CHRoNiCLE
CLAMP and Kodansha recently released a new character guide for TSUBASA RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE. My own copy won’t be arriving for another two weeks, but @chibiyuuto kindly sent me photos of the CLAMP Q&A to translate for all of you. Go thank him!
Please note the following when reading the interview:
It goes without saying that there are spoilers for the main series throughout. The biggest one is related to Fay D. Fluorite’s story.
There are several points in the original text where CLAMP uses the present tense to discuss their planning process while writing Tsubasa. For clarity and consistency’s sake, I’ve changed all these instances to the past tense in English.
If you have a copy of the character guide in hand, you’ll notice that I didn’t translate the image captions. The captions contain only mild speculation and commentary from the interviewers, so I feel that they don’t add anything of value to the Q&A. I do have the extra translations on hand, so if you have the guide and want to read the captions, just let me know.
There’s one more translation note under the cut, and then on to the show!
Keep reading
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You musn’t be here… You must awaken…
Day 15 – Favorite Minor Characters
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[ This user is honestly tired of all the hate Sebastian gets. He’s a demon, OF COURSE he’s awful. ]
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Studying with the bf 🌻
I’m back with more vanilla drawings! (。・//ε//・。)
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I was thinking of my clamp ships and reoccurring themes and such. There should be a clamp “romance guide” with dos and donts
like arm loss DO: the Kurogane way, cut off your own arm to save the guy you like ABSOLUTELY DO NOT: like Bols from Clover: cut off the other guy’s arm and “go to bed with it every night”
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Conversation
People: ruby and sapphire are just best frien--
Me: *shoves keystone motel episode in their faces*
People: mika and yuu only see each other as brothe--
Me: *sHOVES EP11 AND CH35 IN THEIR FACES*
Me: open your eyes and accept the gay
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LOL! Genious!
i have no excuses.
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i feel the same about being worried shinoa/yuu will be a thing?
like, and not because im a mikayuu shipper, ill actually be quite fine if they dont end up together either because their bond in general will always be super strong anyway.
and i love shinoa but i really despise forced hetero romance hah and honestly the small shinoa/yuu hints and the mINISCULE mitsuba/yuu ones (like wtf why even add those??) are just HORRIBLY FORCED and u cant deny that. i mean cmon shinoa wasnt?? interested in yuu really at all imo from what i could see and then guren just like outta the heckin’ blue says “or did u really end up falling in love w/ him” and oh !!! suddenly feelings!! i just? uh…no? what? ????? why their friendship was so good why
yuu and mikas love for eachother (family or not O: !) is reasonable and not forced because, well, we all know why. it feels natural because they were like family at one point (still are but for a while they didnt see eachother and ye). the rest of the romantic/love plots thrown in dont…but u know, theres gotta be some hetero romance in everything right, so why not just force the main girl we have who is a total badass and strong character on her own to be the main charas love interest?
thats my MAIN problem with shinoa/yuu, and why i cant ship it.
i love owari no seraph but dang i hope they dont focus on that. even just a little.
#mikaela hyakuya#yuichiro hyakuya#shinoa hiiragi#mikayuu#Yuumika#yuu x shinoa#owari no seraph#seraph of the end
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終わりのセラフ
Artist: 菅原ヨシキ
※ I have received permission from the artist to repost their works. **Please do not remove the source, edit, or reprint without permission.
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Kyou Kara MA no Tsuku Jiyuugyou! Chapter 108
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Maru-MA | Kyou Kara Maou - Chapter 74.
Omg, I love them. Wolfieeee~~
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