sublimesoulpeanut

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Peter, standing with their back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Stiles.

Stiles: How did you do that without turning around?

Peter: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Sick sick sick of possibility of being fucking recorded every waking second by tiktok obsessed quasi celebs. Video titled something like “Caught him thinking he’s the main character” but it was just a kid wearing headphones, looking out the bus window. Of course it was posted without his knowledge. Stop recording strangers and everything you see, nobody gives a shit and not everyone is happy to be on tiktok or youtube because of a moron with no braincells and an account. What could be a forgettable awkward moment is now permanently there for the victim of lackabrainis infested idiot to get anxious about forever.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Kidnapper: We have your boyfriend

Derek: You have Stiles? Stiles Stilinski?

Kidnapper: Yes

Derek: Good luck with that

[sublimesoulpeanut]

ah yes, the four mass effect endings, Destroy, Control, Synthesis and Headcanon

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Remus Lupin. 😩 Sholto, Lord of That Which Passes Between. 😭

Reblog and put which fictional character death absolutely destroyed you.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Me every time I play a Bioware game and someone betrays me.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

My Shepard every time I talk to the Council.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Coming Out

Shepard: Come on Kaidan, just do it.

Kaidan: Shut up John. *sighs* okay. here goes.

*calls mom*

–

Kaidan: Uhm mom?

Mommy Alenko: Kaidan! oh son I’m so glad you called. how are you? did you-

Kaidan: Hold on mom….there’s something I want to tell you. remember what you said about…me…finding….someone.

MA: Oh my. oH MY! kaidan. im so proud of- who’s the lucky lady?

Shepard: *nearly bisexual laughter*

Kaidan: Uhm yeah..about that mom. it’s…uhm. it’s Shepard.

MA: …

Kaidan: Uhm mom? still there? are you mad or-

MA: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? TIME TO CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE MY BABY KAIDAN IS A QUEER. wait till your aunt hears about this. wait wait, so are you on top or are you the bott-

Kaidan: Uhm mom…

MA: Just kidding! now go on baby, you and John are probably busy doing stuff. i love you! go easy on the commander.

–

Kaidan: *clears throat* Well. That went horrible.

Shepard: Now that everything’s out in the open, wanna go and eat what my mom made?

Kaidan: What did she make?

Shepard: Me.

Kaidan: Hehe. I’d be happy to.

Shepard: And please, don’t go easy on the commander.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Teacher: your son has been swearing in class.

Stiles: I will talk to him.

Stiles, to his son: What the fuck, dude?

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Shepard: Okay, folks, gear up.

Kaidan: Say, Commander, should I take the Phalanx or the Carnifex?

Shepard: Huh? Whichever.

Kaidan: This is important.

Shepard: I dunno, the Carnifex?

Kaidan: But I like the Phalanx.

Shepard: Then take the Phalanx.

Kaidan: But the Carnifex is also good.

Shepard: Then take the Carnifex!

Kaidan: I can't make a decision. You choose.

Shepard:

Kaidan: Imagine being so incapable of making a simple choice that you have to ask someone who doesn't care to make one for you.

Shepard: This is about the wallpaper in the living room, isn't it.

Kaidan: It might be.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

I need juiced-up Geralt smut 

(gif source: x)

Pretty please reblog/reply with Geraskier fic recs (ao3 and/or tumblr) where Geralt is hopped up on potions! Or send me an ask and I’ll add it in, whatever it takes! Let’s get a fucking list going, because I need more of this in my life and I haven’t got around to writing it yet.

Self-recs, favourites, anything goes - just mention if any major cw / archive warnings apply! I’ll start it off with one I like:

do to me by Eremji (handsfullofdust)

A dead end hunt leaves Geralt overwhelmed and riding on the wrong side of the potions that help him do his duties. When he makes it back to camp, Jaskier finally proves too much to resist. Fortunately, Jaskier proves eager to assist.

What else we got, folks?

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Kaidan: Do you want kids, John?

Shepard: Dunno. I already have one, so maybe that's enough.

Kaidan: Wait. Since when? Why haven't I met them?

Shepard: You have.

Kaidan: Grunt doesn't count.

Shepard: Says you.

Grunt: Did I hear my name? What are you two talking about?

Shepard: Kaidan wants kids.

Grunt: I'm gonna have a baby brother or sister?!

Kaidan: I-

Kaidan: No, never mind. I give up.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Ah, yes. Me. My boyfriend. And a tamed colossal fire elemental High dragon.

Could’t resist a fun meme. Guardian of Mythal for the best pet.

Bonus:

[sublimesoulpeanut]

No, you’re headbutting the wrong parent.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

Ryder: So, how is the most beautiful alien in Andromeda doing?

Jaal: *without looking up* I don’t know, how are you doing?

Ryder: *voice cracking* Fine.

[sublimesoulpeanut]

steter + text messages part three [part one] [part two]

[sublimesoulpeanut]

we streamin tonight. ME:3, with Whiskey.  Come join us for the lulz.

https://www.twitch.tv/estalfaed