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This model job is hard

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Trosky Spy vs. Nebakov Spy

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The Amorous Adventures of Bold Sir Hans Capon 2: the Lord of Dorkstein courts the comely Henry of Swagless.

it was concerning how naturally the rhymes came to me

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blacksmith's boy

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omg he's like that "I hope nobody comes out of the ominous fog and comes fucks me" tiktok

occurred to me not everyone has heard Henry's "I won't go to the woods" song

(he is pretending to be drunk while drunk to tempt thieves into jumping him)

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hans:

how embarrassing, they wore the same outfit to the party.

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OK go - obsession

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Mutt, however, always has his own idea...

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@issak it's the NPC chatters, like the ones that happen if you walk around naked or without a torch. I would think it happens anywhere on the maps, so maybe you can get it too if you have a old save where your Henry is still low level at drinking? There were other drunk responses where he talks about being in the monastery 🥺

Bi drunk Henry thinking all the men of bohemia want him carnally

a video of this post

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occurred to me not everyone has heard Henry's "I won't go to the woods" song

(he is pretending to be drunk while drunk to tempt thieves into jumping him)

[suiine]

how embarrassing, they wore the same outfit to the party.

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feast

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Bi drunk Henry thinking all the men of bohemia want him carnally

a video of this post

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Interpretation 1. 🏳️‍🌈 his bi side comes out when he's drunk

Interpretation 2. semine wedding trauma ☹️

Interpretation 3. kind NPC: just trying to help. Henry: teehee all the boys want me 🤭

(now with the dialogue recorded here)

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heyyyyy how's it going 🌼

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Henry addressing Hans: greetings, your worship Sir Knight Lord Hans Capon of Pirkstein and of Dauba, uhhhhhh....of the Lords of Leipa and the house of Ronov...um. oh, heir to Rattay on Sasau and Polna on Slapanka and Kunstadt in Moravia and UGHHH WHATEVER. HEY BABE,

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Hear ye Hear ye, The Ghost of Trosky now haunts Rattay?

Several moons past, the plentiful woods of our fair Trosky region was plagued by the poaching of the devilish menace called "The Ghost". Our gamekeepers testify, The Ghost's arrows hit its targets without fail, its prey felled in one shot. It is invisible, and leaves no trace but a mess of poorly butchered meat. The vile Ghost was excised from our idyllic lands by brave Henry of Skalitz, friend to our gamekeepers. The Trosky gamekeepers and learned priests are now saddened to announce that they surmise The Ghost is in fact now haunting poor young Henry and has followed him home to the Sasau region.

On the whispers of a ghost in Rattay. Like the Trosky ghost, it stealthily lurks about the darkness of Castle Pirkstein but no one is able to catch it. The only signs of its hauntings are the mess of fluids and secretions it leaves in the bedchambers of Henry of Skalitz and on his person. Castle residents say moans and yowls can be heard from his quarters, and that the visitations leave Henry drained, hungry, sweaty, and rather dopey.

Instead of hunting game, is The Ghost now hunting squires? When questioned, Henry declared that The Ghost does indeed expertly hit its target every time with perfect aim. And that it does persist in leaving a sticky mess upon its completion of its wicked deeds and does not clean up after itsself.

Our poor Henry has bravely turned down assistance. The gamekeepers and priests do gravely agree it may be too late to help him against the dark might of Ghost; the poor lad has seemingly lost his wits and joked about The Ghost "poaching him for his tasty sausage".

Let us pray for him.