sukhann-shanas

[sukhann-shanas]

I am anger and grace in one, for there is no beauty to a phoenix without the flames.

-CH, 2 January 2025, 2325

[sukhann-shanas]

Do you ever have that feeling that you are just not meant for Jannah? I am just a mediocre sinner, I doubt my intentions, I am submerged in my sins, how many times I broke my oaths and promises, my heart is not pure enough, and I always find myself back to square one. Maybe I am just not meant to be on this path, not meant to accompany the righteous.. when I hear their stories and how they live like the sahaba of our era, their lives are all in worship while I am drowning in my whims. Perhaps I am meant to stay with the mediocre people, those who strive for mediocrity, they strive for the bare minimum and are not willing to struggle or take any efforts. Each time I decide to take action, I find myself, yet again, In the same place I once was, hopeless, helpless and lost. My advice applies to everyone but myself, my reassuring is directed to all of mankind, to the biggest of sinners, but not to myself. I perceive every single person to be better than me and that is suffocating. As they say. I carry nothing but a heart that fits everyone but myself.

Why does so and so praise me, why does so and so love me? Why does so and so give me so much attention, why do they have good expectations of me? Why are they complimenting me? Do they mean it or is it all because they feel bad about me?! And why do they feel bad about me? Do they really care about my feelings? WHY DO PEOPLE THINK SO HIGHLY OF ME? Do I really deserve their praise, or is this riyaa? Do I not deserve it? Are they just blind to my flaws? Or are they just kind? These are questions that go through my mind all day everyday, I reached a stage in which compliments feel worse than insults !

It really is hard to put into words, but this is a feeling I wouldn’t wish for any muslim.

:)

[sukhann-shanas]

" في قلبي حدائق بابسة كثيرة و ، انت يا الله رب المطر“

"I have so many dry gardens in my heart and, Oh Allah, You are the Lord of rains."

[sukhann-shanas]

[sukhann-shanas]

خد مصحف، واقفل تليفونك، وافصل ساعة عن دوشة الدنيا، وخلي ده ورد يومي ليك وبعد شهر؛ شوف بـركة الـقُـرآن في حياتك

[sukhann-shanas]

I confuse people. i have a happy personality and a sad soul. i'm bold but shy. i love deeply but sometimes i feel heartless. i'm healing and hurting at the same time. i'm dedicated to growth, but i self sabotage

[sukhann-shanas]

i feel so much better when no one knows where i am and what im doing.

[sukhann-shanas]

I love Octobers, Novembers and Decembers. And falls and winters. And how things settle when the temperature falls. Everything decides to be on its best behavior. Calm and warm. I love mornings and hearty, fulfilling breakfasts by the windows with pretty views. And reading regional authors. Wearing nice jewelry and pretty lipstick in the shade of mauve and dull rosy pink. And being knowledgeable. And practicing evidence-based medicine. Being pretty, charming and brainy, and accomplished. And seeing my parents happy, and my brothers fulfilled. And giving presents. And walks. And talking to God about what's up, and telling Him how I love Him and His blessings, and sharing my day with Him.

[sukhann-shanas]

[sukhann-shanas]

Sorry I left you on read for 3 months, I was stuck in an endless self isolation and self destruction cycle bc I thought I deserved to be alone. (It will probably happen again.)

[sukhann-shanas]

Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal رحمه الله said: I never heard any words that were stronger for my heart and cooler for my eyes at the time of trials than the words I heard from a poor blind man in Rahbat-Tarq (the name of a village). He said to me: O’ Ahmad, if they kill you for the sake of the Truth, you will die a shaheed, and if you live, you will live honourably.

— Al-Adab ash-Shari’ah li-ibn Muflih al-Hanbali (2/22)

[sukhann-shanas]

Ibn al Qayyim رحمه الله said,

"Whoever has offended you and then approached you to apologize, humility obligates that you accept his apology whether it is truthful or not, and that you leave his secret thoughts to Allah.

The sign of generosity and humility is that if you notice a defect in his apology, you do not address it nor hold him against it."

[Madaarij as Salikeen 2/338]

[sukhann-shanas]

due to personal reasons I deeply wish that this autumn feels entirely like rebirth

[sukhann-shanas]

يا عُبَيدة، تَعزّى عن الدُّنيا بالقرآن؛

فإنَّه مَن لَم يَتَعَزَّ بالقرآن عن الدُّنيا

تَقطَّعَت نَفسُه على الدنيا حَسَرات

O Ubaydah, find solace from the world through the Qur'an, for whoever does not find solace in the Qur'an from the world, his soul will be filled with regret over the world.

حليةُ الأولياء

[sukhann-shanas]

‏يتقلّب حال المرء بين قُرب من الله وأُنس، وبُعد عنه ووَحشة، ولكن طوبى لمن رُزق بنفسٍ لوّامة لا تطيق العصيان، فسرعان ما تضيق النفس عند معصيته، ولا تنشرح إلا بالتوبة

People’s condition fluctuates between closeness to Allāh and comfort, and distance from Him and unease. However, blessed is the one who is endowed with a self-reproaching soul (Nafs ul lawammah) that cannot tolerate disobedience. Such a person’s soul quickly feels distressed when committing sin and finds relief only in repentance.

[sukhann-shanas]

يارب لا تحملني مالا طاقةً لي به

O’ Allah do not burden me with what I can’t handle.

يارب اجعل هذي الأيام لي وليس علي

O’ Allah make these days for me not against me

[sukhann-shanas]

يارب سهل على أهل فلسطين وأنصرهم

“O’ Allah grant ease to the people of Palestine & make them victorious.”