sunhalf

[sunhalf]

i need to rotate in my head how much of mizi's dialogue is accurate and how much is her survivor's guilt talking

[sunhalf]

ALIENT STAGE AM IRIGHT

[sunhalf]

hiii i wanna write but im tired

[sunhalf]

Kris sways where they stand — the SOUL is out of their chest and trapped for however long, but that's not most why they're half awake. The thing keeps forgetting to let them eat, drink. They haven't had anything more than a glass of water in close to twenty - four hours, and their brain is too fogged between the lack of food and the ripping - their - heart - out - of - their - chest to think through the steps to fix the former.

[sunhalf]

knockoffs dont have the right to complain...

[sunhalf]

captcha

[sunhalf]

hey so can you just kill me with a hammer instead .

[sunhalf]

"you were cool when you played the piano earlier" and i break down. because thats the first compliment kris has got since the game started for something kris did, and not the player

[sunhalf]

i was out and goin' all weekend, so i missed father's day posting! but i wanna talki about kris and asgore, because i'm playing DR and they're on my mind.

at a very high level, obviously kris loves asgore. that's their dad, and he was, in many ways, a good dad while he was around. he was very loving and kind and frankly a bit of a pushover! it was usually up to toriel to actually enforce things like bedtime, though obviously neither of kirs's parents are hard - asses. and they do have, on some level, a knee - jerk emotional desire for their parents to get back together, if only because that would "take them back" to when things were good and easy and dess was still around and asriel was still there and they weren't possessed. they want their childhood back, and that's when their parents were still together.

but also, like...asgore fucking sucks, and kris is old enough to be aware of it. past the high - level emotional affection, they don't actually like asgore much these days. they're cognizant that he's kind of a deadbeat, that he's made very little effort to actually support or be close to them since the divorce — he doesn't even remember if they like hugs. a good chunk of their already limited interactions have revolved around asgore using kris to try to "win" toriel back. kris's feelings about toriel are also messy and there's definitely resentment there, but they're closer to her than they are to asgore — and they resent that asgore has basically put 100% of the work of parenting onto toriel. and that he is stalking her.

they also just...find him kind of embarrassing, frankly! he can't support himself, let alone help toriel support kris, because he keeps giving away his source of income. he harasses toriel in public, including in front of kris's friends! he keeps breaking kris's heart by suggesting that if toriel just came back to him the family would "be together again." i fully subscribe to the idea that tenna, with his inability to move on and let things change, at least partially represents kris's view of their father, and while they clearly care about tenna on some level, they can't and refuse to make good on that care until tenna just accepts that things are going to change and he can't cling or force people into staying with him.

[sunhalf]

putting the stickers to good use :^)

[sunhalf]

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

[sunhalf]

lets all just. die

[sunhalf]

i need to make a post about kris and "enjoying" the violence the player hoists on them, particularly re: the weird route

[sunhalf]

@paranormalite : there's no need to pretend. / 4 the real rokushi lovers out there / accepting!

"I know that —" she says, but she doesn't sound like it, adjusting her legs where they're thrown over his and her arms where they're wrapped around his middle, clinging ( connotation — negative, but the word itself is actually neutral, pence has been teaching her things like that lately ) to his side on Lea's couch, half - wrapped around him. Hard day, too much time with the others she loves but who drain, who demand - without - realizing. That felt bad but this doesn't, because Roxas never resents when she needs too much contact and he often does, too. It just doesn't feel close enough. Xion's head dips to rest against his shoulder, and his tilts to knock against hers, a little teasing. "I know. It's just ———"

Theirs isn't a relationship with room for lies these days / not intentional ones, at least. Sometimes they both pretend like they're less bruised than they are, but the tricking is more for their own sake than for the other. Xion still feels guilty about — everything — hurting him and leeching off his strength, and making him dream about killing her, and letting him love her when she's not even sure she's allowed to exist, on the bad days, and for existing, period, on the worse ones. But she doesn't lie to him on purpose. It's just hard to explain. She lets out a slow, controlled breath. He holds her a little tighter. Comfort, not a cage.

"I don't have to pretend here, now, with you," she affirms, for both their sake. I'M SAFE / SHE TRUSTS ME. She wants ——— she isn't sure. To be understood? But then she'd have to look at the hurt herself. Or is it worse, that he sees more than she does, that he realizes she's hiding before she does? It's better. It's gotta be. She loves Roxas so much. The girl's words are searching. "But with the others, it's like...I don't know...how to stop."

She can spend days with Lea and Roxas without feeling tired. But just a few hours with Naminé or Hayner is exhausting, feels like being wrung out. There's just so much pretending she has to do without even meaning to, so much hiding, so much fear to manage. It takes so much energy. It leaves so little of her left. But she loves all of them. She doesn't want to stop being with them.

"It's hard," she mutters, almost - whiny. A teenager, despite it all. There's so much terror in Xion that she's trying to untangle. It's taking so long to for her body to learn she isn't in danger, and even longer for her heart to do the same. Roxas helps. Roxas loves her, she knows, and she doesn't have to hide. She feels safe like this, clinging and unsure and allowed to be. "I'm trying, but I don't even...know where to start."

[sunhalf]

@rt0001 / narumi & mizi!

She hasn't met many other members of the resistance — Hyuna senses her fragility, maybe, and is trying to keep her safe just like Sua and Till. But Mizi's wandering now. She'd spent some time in the bar in the back, just watching, but the crowd eventually got her too nervous and she'd left. The room she's found herself in is dark and quiet and a perfect place to cry, and she doesn't realize she's not alone until the stranger speaks and she nearly leaps out of her skin, tears in her eyes not not yet down her cheeks.

—— Naruto, she thinks? Hyuna told her his name, but she can't quite remember. "I'm sorry!" It's reflexive, the same way her smile is, sunny and empty and tired. a man. gross. "You startled me. I didn't —— realize that —"

[sunhalf]

da goooilll

[sunhalf]

Dᴏɪɴɢ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴄᴀɴ, ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴏғ ʜᴇʟᴘ Aɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ I sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴀʙʏ, I ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏғ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴅᴏᴡɴ