superfandomfiend

[superfandomfiend]

‘I need Batman to be more like Nightwing’

But the thing you don't understand Bruce, is that Nightwing is molded after Batman. Hes molded after the Batman that carried him inside from the Batmobile after a long nights patrol. He is molded after the Batman that held him in his arms if he was too tired to stand. Hes molded after the Batman that dropped everything to tend to his wounds. Hes molded after the Batman that carries lollipops in his utility belt at all times, just in case there is a child, or anyone, who needs comfort. Hes molded after the Batman that has felt pain, and grieved, and worked so hard to help others like him, so that they wouldn't be. 

Nightwing is the better version of Batman its true, but he is still Batman, through and through.

[superfandomfiend]

“If it came down between choosing me or the world which would you choose?” Dick asked, almost conversationally, leaned back on the table. “That’s not a fair question.” Bruce rasped, hands gripping the armrests of his chair. Dick shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s the one I’m asking.” Bruce shook his head. “I can’t deal with this right now. I have a case to work.” Dick smiled sadly, sliding off the table as he set his batarang down. “Thats about what I figured.” He murmured, more resigned than sad, and dropped a hand to Bruce’s shoulder, squeezing once, before he left. 

“BATMAN!!” Nightwing screamed, the word torn from his lips. Batman smiled, teeth red with blood. “I didn’t answer you before chum, but it’s you. It’s always you. Every time.” 

ok i don't know how absolutely high and depressed i was when i wrote this little snapshot of a scene but ok wow past self me just wants me to suffer i guess...

[superfandomfiend]

The thing that people don’t seem to understand is that Dick only realizes that the Bruce impersonators aren’t Bruce not because they say they’re proud of him, as if it’s something Bruce would never do, it’s because they say it unprompted.

Any time Bruce expresses affection, or praise, it’s a reaction. Dick solves a case. “Good work Robin.” He saves Bruce. “Thank you.” He helps people. “I’m proud of you.”

Like- When Bruce says "I'm proud of you Dick, I love you" Or whatever, Dick immediately goes "No. what. Don't say that. We'll live. we'll see each other through this we always do. You're just jealous because I'm a better fighter." Because the reason Bruce is saying all the unspoken words is because its goodbye. Dick accepts affection and praise from Bruce and knows what it sounds like when it's genuine, knows why Bruce is saying it. (in this case he refuses because his dad is saying goodbye but he still knows)

Every Bruce impersonator seems to think praise is something Bruce hands out for free, and he does, he just doesn’t throw it around without reason. They all do, under the wrong circumstances, so Dick notices. 

[superfandomfiend]

Rumor in gotham: Robin is immortal gremlin fae that signed a deal with batman to help protect gotham. In return batman has to forever keep robin company. There's even cute and creepy rhymes about it.

Extra Rumor: Batman is a Tariaksuq, (a mythical shadow creature) who accidentally stole a fae child instead of a human one, and now must keep it eternally, raising it as its own.

[superfandomfiend]

Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

[superfandomfiend]

Dick hated heights. He wasn’t afraid of them, that would be silly. He just… didn’t like them very much. He liked his feet on the ground, thank you very much. But he couldn’t tell his parents that, they were acrobats, they would be ruined. (Not likely but dick was six so he’s not very reasonable) And then his parents fell and dick felt justified in his hatred of heights. But then Bruce came along. And Dick told him, because he figured it was something Bruce should know if they were to be partners, if Bruce was going to rely on him in the field. And Bruce didn’t laugh or yell or do anything really, just looked thoughtful for a while and then went “well. That’s something we’ll have to work on I suppose.” And they did. They practiced distraction, so dick wouldn’t notice he was up high, they practiced balance, so dick would know, logically, that he was safe, and most of all they practiced trust, so dick would know that Bruce would always be there to catch him if he fell. Always. And he was there, every time. He never let dick fall. Dick hates his father for many things, even resented him for some, but he never hated how much he trusted Bruce. Even if they fought, even if they said things they didn’t mean, dick knew Bruce would still be there to catch him. He might wait a few seconds, being petty being a bitch, but he would catch him. Dick loved him for that. And Dick chased Bruce across rooftops with the balance and strength of an acrobat, and Robin flew across Gotham with all the steady assurance of one who knew he wouldn’t fall, and if he did that he would be caught. Dick Grayson hated heights, it was true, but Dick Grayson-Wayne, the first Robin, Nightwing, leader of the Teen Titans and Young Justice… Well, he thrives in the sky.

[superfandomfiend]

I love the idea that the 'Robin cackle' wasn't meant to be an intimidation technique at first. It's just deadass how Dick laughs.

Like, Dick just has an evil sounding laugh. And, well, admittedly he is also a bit psychopath-y for a kid. He is always laughing at weird shit. And crooks all nervous, tripping over themselves to get things done 'before the Bat appears' when the Bat is already there? Definitely too funny not to laugh!

So it's the dead of the night and everyone is trying to be quiet when this cruel sounding cackle comes out of no where and starts echoing off the walls, getting more and more spectral... It's the last thing everyone hears before Batman beats the shit out of them.

And thus the mythos of the Robin cackle is born.

Bruce doesn't really put a stop to it, one, because it does make one hell of an intimidation technique. And two, because, well, it's Dick's laugh. What's he supposed to do? Tell his kid not to be happy? It's not Dick's fault he sound like something out of The Shining .

So things are what they're are, time goes on. It's not until later that B realizes his mistake.

Thing is, people tend to copy other people's way of laughing. Especially those of family and friends.

Batman doesn't remember this silly little fact about human nature until he's at a meeting with the JL. Everyone is getting comfortable, and heroes are shuffling in calmly, and then Barry comes in at super speed, promptly slips on the recently polished floor, and sends his own ass flying. He crashes into Hal and they both slam into a window so hard they crack the reinforced glass.

And Bruce tries, he really tries. But what the hell, he's tired, and maybe a bit concussed. So he laughs. Full on belly laugh.

What comes out of him is the sound of the gates of hell opening. Like someone gave Dracula a dose of Joker's gas. Rough and elegant yet so maniacal and evil it genuinely has people's hairs standing up. It's sounds like the last thing you hear before someone loses their mind. It sounds like how Dick laughs.

It's so bad it startles Bruce himself into stopping. Everyone is looking at him like 'What the fuck was that?!'. Clark starts using x-ray vision to make sure it's actually his friend under the cowl and not a villain. In similar fashion Diana reaches for her lasso. Barry is wondering if he died and that sound is the gream reaper and Hal is passed out in the floor.

Bruce is looking at the distance. He's not sure how he's going to explain to Alfred that the polished, educated laugh he taught him has been corrupted by his 12 year old .

[superfandomfiend]

Damian vibes “TT”

[superfandomfiend]

I am a proud Bruce Wayne can cook believer so I, a humble tumblr user, request Bruce cooking with his family.

YES. sorry that was loud. But yes 100%. i gotchu

Dick: Dick awoke to the sound of sizzling. He slipped out of bed slowly, padding down the stairs into the kitchen. Alfred was off on a little veteran excursion with old friends, and it was just him and Bruce in the manor for the week.

Bruce was standing at the stove, humming along to the soft music playing, an apron wrapped around his waist as he flipped something in a pan with one hand, messing around with a spatula in the other. He turned when Dick entered the kitchen, smiling.

"Hey chum, you're awake! Wanna help me cook some breakfast?" Dick nodded, climbing onto a chair to peek at the eggs Bruce was making. "I'm making omelets. They're simple and quick and provide you with lots of good protein and vegetables." Bruce informed him, lifting him off the chair and onto his hip instead, handing him the spatula.

"Go on, flip it." Dick laughed, leaning over the pan to flip the omelet. "Nice work chum!" Bruce cheered, sliding the finished omelets onto two plates. "Now we make some bacon- and.." Dick leaned against Bruce's chest, watching as he easily moved around the kitchen, explaining every step as he went. It was nice. Cozy. Domestic.

Jason: Jason awoke to the smell of frying bacon. He slid down the banister into the kitchen, and padded over to Bruce's side, who was leaned against the counter, drying dishes. "Hey Jay lad." Bruce greeted with a smile, bending down to lift him up. "What's up?"

"What're you making?" Jason asked around a yawn, peering around the kitchen for the source of the smell. "Oh," Bruce grinned, bending down so he could peer into the oven. "I'm making breakfast muffins. They've got bacon, eggs, cheese, and jalapeños." Jason's stomach rumbled and Bruce laughed, standing again.

"It'll be ready in a few Jay." He plopped Jason on the counter, grabbing a cookbook off the shelf. "In the meantime, wanna help me get started on this pot roast for dinner?" Jason nodded, running his hands along the old, yellowed pages of the cookbook. Bruce smiled as he watched him, collecting the ingredients.

"It was my mothers." He informed him, picking the recipe. "and one day," He bopped Jason's nose with a spoon. "It might be yours." Jason smiled.

Tim: Tim awoke to the sound of clanging dishes. That was... strange. Tim jumped out of bed, hand closing around his bo staff. His parents were off on another one of their little adventures. He was home alone. There wasn't anyone else in the house. Or, not supposed to be.

Tim crept down to the kitchen, keeping his back against the wall, before slowly peering inside. Bruce was standing at the sink, filling dirty pots and pans with soapy water, an apron wrapped around his waist, though clearly not big enough for him, so Tim assumed it belonged to the old cook who must have left it when Janet fired her.

"Uh," Tim cleared his throat and stepped into the kitchen, leaving his staff in the hallway. "Bruce? What are... you doing here?" Bruce turned to face him, smiling brightly.

"Timmy! You're awake! Lovely, sorry to drop by unannounced, but you mentioned yesterday not eating breakfast lately, and, well, I figured I'd stop by and make you something." He wiped his hands on a towel, suddenly seeming a little nervous. "If- if that's all right?" Tim nodded slowly, unsure.

"Uh, yeah- yeah no that's fine. What um, what for though?" As far as he was concerned, Robin hadn't done anything wrong lately, and he definitely hadn't done anything that warranted Bruce coming over to make him breakfast. Unless this was Bruce's way of softening the blow of firing him... Something curdled in Tim's stomach.

But Bruce smiled, set at ease again, and turned to his dishes. "Oh no reason, you just mentioned not having eaten breakfast and well," he laughed lightly, sticking a brush into the sink to help his cleaning. "Its... a little bit of a tradition, you know." He shrugged. "For me to cook something. For every Robin. You don't, uh, live at the manor, but that doesn't mean you should miss out."

Tim blinked in confusion. Bruce was... openly sharing a Robin tradition with him? That was new. Bruce sighed, apparently knowing it to, and turned back around. "I'm sorry Tim, I should... this is weird.. I should have told you I'd be coming and... you're permanent Tim."

Tim stared at him wide eyed. "I'm what?" He repeated, utterly confused and a little scared. "You're permanent." Bruce repeated, eyes utterly serious. "i know I haven't always been the best towards you, but I'm trying. I want to- I want to fix that. And be there for you. Like your parents should be. I'm not trying to replace them- I just want you to know I'm here and-"

He was rambling, words moving too fast for Tim's ear to pick up, his own cheeks flushed as his hands moved awkwardly in his haste to explain. Tim didn't care. He'd stopped listening after 'you're permanent'.

Before Bruce had a chance to react, before Tim could stop and think more about what he was doing, he was across the room, his arms wrapped around Bruce's torso. Tim's mind finally connected to his body and he tensed, waiting for Bruce to push him away, to say "no thats not what I meant"... but after a short pause, Bruce's arms wrapped around him.

He was warm and strong and solid, firm and protecting. "I've got you Tim," Bruce whispered, his breath tickling Tim's ear, but the words sweeter than anything he'd ever heard. "You're permanent."

Steph: Steph didn't know how he was in her house. She wanted to know how he'd found her much less. As Bruce Wayne, even, not as Batman. She just stared at him. At Bruce. Standing in her kitchen, awkwardly, holding a Walmart bag of groceries. He cringed, lifting said bag. "You wanna make some waffles?"

Stephanie didn't even know what her life was, anymore. Here she was, ex-robin, remade Spoiler, standing in her cramped, crappy kitchen apartment, making waffles with fucking Batman, except it wasn't Batman, it was Bruce, and he was wearing her obnoxious purple apron and was singing along to her horrible music taste and he was good at singing damn it, and he was laughing at her jokes and even making his own and he even let her lick the spoon and the waffles looked delicious and...

"Why are you here Bruce?" She asked finally, while they were waiting for the last waffle to finish, and Bruce had already moved on to do the dishes for her. "Hm?" Bruce returned, pretending like he hadn't heard her, or understood her, though she could tell by the way his shoulders tensed that he had.

"Why are you here?" She repeated, crossing her arms. Bruce sighed, shoulders slumping. "Because I messed up." He whispered quietly. Steph stilled. "What?"

"I messed up." He repeated, and returned to his scrubbing, doing it more forcefully than necessary, and not turning around to face her. "I- I shouldn't have fired you Stephanie." And that was when the world slid out from under her feet.

"W-what??" She exploded. Bruce bit his lip, knuckles white on the scrubbing brush. "It- it was wrong of me to fire you. I- I'm sorry." And any fight she was gearing up for went out of her. "I was just so mad, and- and I was missing Tim and Dick and Jason and everyone... and its no excuse." He turned, finally, meeting her eyes. "Its no excuse. Not for how I treated you, not for any of it. And, I'm sorry."

Steph stared at him, rendered speechless for the first time in her life. Bruce fidgeted under her stare, but to his credit did not move away, or break eye contact, or flee. "Why now?" She finally managed to squeeze out. Bruce sighed, and it seemed like enough of an acceptance of his apology for now that he turned around again, and resumed doing the dishes.

"I don't know. I guess... I guess because I realized I hadn't done it with you yet." he gestured to their pile of waffles. "Cooked. Cooked for you. I cook for every Robin. For every Robin I've ever had I've cooked. And I- I didn't do it for you. And its because you weren't there for very long but truly its because I didn't want to. I didn't want you to be Robin. Because that meant Tim truly was gone. Because I only get a new Robin when the old one is gone. Gone for good." He shrugged. "There's no excuse."

"Those sounded like some pretty good ones right there." Steph joked lightly. Bruce smiled at that, but still didn't turn around. "But they aren't." Steph swallowed, and slowly walked closer, taking a rag and slowly drying off the dishes he finished.

They worked in silence for a while, until all the dishes were cleaned and put away again, and Steph motioned him to sit down at her rickety old table, and served them waffles.

"I forgive you." She said finally, when they had both eaten their fill. Bruce looked at her. Clearly shocked, but... listening. Staying. She loosed a breath, leaning back in her chair the way Jason had taught her.

"I forgive you because... because you have some pretty good reasons and because... well these waffles are really good." That got a smile, a crack in his mask, and Steph smiled back before she could stop it.

"But mostly..." His smile faded and he waited. Waited. Stayed. "But mostly I forgive you because you apologized. And because I want to. Because well," She smiled ruefully. "Robin can't ever stay mad at Batman for too long can he?" Bruce smiled back, smaller, more subdued, but he smiled back. "No," The words sounded almost sorry. "No he cannot."

Damian: Damian awoke to the smell of home. But... that wasn't right. He wasn't home. Not, not at home. He was at the Manor. At Home home. But the smell...

Damian slipped out of bed, walking to the kitchen. He found Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, and Steph there, yelling at each other and cooking, Bruce and Jason doing the most work while Steph handed them things, Tim read stuff aloud from a big yellow cookbook, and Dick watched, occasionally sampling things and calling for more of something.

"What's going on?" Damian asked, and his words cut through the chatter like a knife. Silence fell. Damian regretted speaking immediately, wishing he hadn't come downstairs at all. But Bruce turned with a smile, still stirring something that smelled so familiar.

"Hey Dami," he greeted, nodding his head for him to come closer. "Happy Birthday. We just decided we'd get together and make you something special for breakfast." Tim nodded and he and Dick herded him to the table, sitting him down and tying a napkin around his neck.

Jason appeared from the kitchen, carrying a tray that wafted like home. "We made a bit of everything," He eldest brother said with a sheepish smile. "Wasn't sure which you'd like." He set the tray down and Damian couldn't stop the tears from welling up, not as he beheld the staples, the dishes Mama had made him. That he had shared with Grandfather.

"Wh- why? What?" Damian looked around at all the sweaty, proud, flour covered faces, beaming at him from around the table. "Do you not like?" Bruce asked in concern, brows furrowing.

"NO!" Damian returned, a little too forcefully, cheeks turning pink. "No." he said, a shade quieter. "Its lovely, but, but why?" Steph grinned, leaning over to ruffle his hair. "Because, little moon, it's Robin tradition that Bruce cooks for you. And, well, since we're fairly certain you're gonna be the last of us,"

"I don't think B's hair can take anymore." Jason grumbled. Tim snickered in agreement and Bruce smacked the back of his head with a small, fond smile as Jason ducked, laughing lightly. Steph rolled her eyes at them, winking at Damian as she continued. "We figured the rest of us would pitch in too." Dick grinned, leaning over to pour him a glass jellab. "Happy Robin Birthday Damian."

[superfandomfiend]

The Bats all know and have perfected the art of looking positively tastefully slutty

Bruce: the Og dress slutty, wears too tight shirts, unbuttoned dress shirts, tight tight tight pants, low on the hips, show off hip bones, sometimes wears a thong to reveal it gracing his hips

Dick: took his lessons from Bruce, wears very low cut shirts, extraordinarily tight pants to cup his ass just so, knows the perfect angle to lean down next to someone so they not only look down his shirt but also can easily see his ass. Wears dresses when he can, but bruce refuses letting him go out in a maid costume, says its too far(in reality he did it once and alfred was so proud and yet so disapproving and bruce does not want high society to look at his son the way they looked at him when he showed up in a maid outfit because thats his son and who cares that hes an adult no fucking way are they leering at him)

Jason: perfectly styled hair that just tempts people to ruffle it, or already ruffled perfectly fucked to satisfaction hair. Wears suit jackets without shirts, sometimes even wears a bra to perfectly cups his fat chest just right, all the boys have got dat ass, wears tight pants just like his brother and father, also wears shorts that are too tight in the groin and show off his massive thighs, knows the proper way to sit that he shows all of it off, wears his pants low on his hips as well just like his dad. Also wears dresses when he can, is also not permitted to wear a maid or waitress outfit

Tim: is the only one in the family not gifted with an absolute massive ass, but has found ways to show it off but wearing performer tights, doesn't even wear underwear to most social events to really show the definition, wears nice, form fitting shirts that perfectly show off his lithe body, always has a flirty smile pasted on, hair ruffled just so. Actually managed to get out of the house wearing a maid outfit, but bruce caught him before he entered the main room and gave him his jacket.(tim has never seen his father so afraid and so possessive at a gala)

Steph: wears the sluttiest dress she can find, it is her goal to traumatize high society. Low cut dresses, without backs, thin straps that she has bruce and alfred sew because while she wants to flaunt her body in front of the elite she does not want someone to be able to rip the dress off her easily, once wore a dress that was literally two strips of fabric over her chests and between her legs, that was it. If shes not wearing a dress shes wearing a tasteful one piece that has it in all the right places and bedazzles guests only to be purposefully caught making out with a waiter and then telling a reporter that he was the most appealing out of everyone in the room. Right in the face of twenty high elite rich men. (bruce has never been prouder and jason high fived her)

Cass: is the most modest out of everyone in the family, wears dresses that are nice and subtle and that she can still kick ass in, also wears suits but not that often because then all the boys get pouty because she wears it better than them

Babs: doesn't go as extreme as Steph(especially not when her actual father is attending) but does wear skimpy dresses and suits, learned the proper ways to use her body to get what she wants from dick. Traded outfits with dick at a gala once as a challenge to see who could get more numbers, dick won but only by four people

Damian: (aged up, please, hes a minor) when hes older damian follows in his fathers and siblings footsteps, wearing the proper amount of makeup and mascara to bat his eyelashes just so at people, has perfectly the purr of charm from bruce, wears absolutely flawless outfits at all times, smirks but in a charming way, hair has to be styled properly not just for the sex appeal but also because if its not it could kill someone, also rocks the lean down to get someone staring at both his chest and ass

This does A) help with their cover (although bruce has pointed out that nightwing dresses slutty as well so dick might not want to dress that way as dick grayson but dick promptly turned him down, as did most of society and his other children, because “dick grayson is an icon and his body deserves to be seen”- steph) but also B) helps them protect the people working at Galas, so many times has bruce thrown himself in someones lap and pressed his pecs together to draw their eyes away from the poor server man they were trying to grope, Dick has perfected the art of intercepting people trying to dance with waiters and dancing instead(he once pulled out tim’s pole and started pole dancing so the poor girl could get away) steph is absolutely masterful in her bending down and flipping her hair to draw everyone's eyes to her and not to the girl in the corner who just had her shirt ripped off by a drunk sleazeball (bruce himself had to be held back from beating the man into next week, but steph and cass did it for him)

Anyway this was all for gits and shiggles, hope you enjoyed, this is how i imagine the bats dressing at Gala’s to keep up their dumbass fake personas(there are so many better covers but once bruce decided on it everyone fell into line behind him) i added the girls just for funsies because they deserve dressing like it too and yeah. Take all of it or none of it or some of it idc, just don't take it seriously. 🙃

[superfandomfiend]

Bruce collects the magazines when his kids are on the cover of them. He has a whole wall dedicated to the tabloids.

[superfandomfiend]

Conspiracy theory #3239: Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, Nightwing, and Batman are just evolutions of the same Pokémon

[superfandomfiend]

Tim casually dropping bits of his traumatizing childhood lore on Red Hood(he knows its Jason, but Jason doesn’t know that yet)

but plays it off/alludes to it being Bruce and Dick that are treating him this way. And Jason believes him bc Tim sneaks off to see Jason all the time- which obvi makes the two of them very panicked when they realize he’s with the fucking Red Hood and thats their baby boy, which leads to get-your-ass-over-here-i-was-so-worried-you're-grounded yanks from bruce/dick, and that makes Jason think they’re like… awful+ he has pit madness so he’s not thinking straight and remembering the good parts of living with bruce and how he would never but anyway-

this eventually leads to Jason marching into the cave on Tim’s behalf… only to find, Bruce and Dick actually adore???? This tiny gremlin child??? Would literally die for him??? Are sooooooo fucking happy to learn its Jason, are like, really welcoming??? Love him??? Mourned him?????

And Jason is looking at Tim in confusion, and Tim is in the corner with his tablet and goes “haha. Nice. Horrified you back into the family, uwu” 

Anyway Tim is a chaos gremlin who deserves to force jason back into the family by making him truly horrified and want to raise tim on his own, which tim is not willing to do, so instead he has to co-parent him with bruce, which leads to reconciliation etc etc…

[superfandomfiend]

[superfandomfiend]

Bruce gets knocked over the head with a lead pipe and without even looking at eachother dick and Tim start circling around him making tweeting noises

Meanwhile bruce wishes the hit actually knocked him out so he didn’t have to witness his kids acting like this

[superfandomfiend]

Bruce would be the best step dad to an edgy Kon because the bad boy shtick doesn’t work at all on him. oh you’re smoking a cigarette? you pierced your ear? you want to take Tim on a flying date? do you really think you’re the first person to allude to a blow job right in front of Bruce Wayne?

[superfandomfiend]

Robin, any Robin: can I please have [insert thing here]

Batman: no

Robin: please

Batman: no

Robin :(

Batman, softly but with feeling: fuck