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this winter i was drunk at a party and natasha lyonne handed me a plate of pasta and said you need it more than i do.
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when im in a good mood there is nothing better than being me
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they make us wear deodorant to mask our pheromones and trick us all into being attracted to their maladapted offspring
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my family went on a trip for new years and i didn’t go with them because family trips are always too much and their hotel caught on fire. they’re fine but i was right.
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prior work experience:
- master of the hearth (1207-1634)
- sheltered pagans in a secret lodge in the woods, subsequently burned alive (1028-1046)
- sheep herder (45-500 AD)
- extremely sexy, nimble and strong. could shape-shift and speak to plants (78,000-2,000 BCE)
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