supportivespaceforsurvivors

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

I saw one of my abusers today. He was with a girl probably about my age and it kills me knowing she has no idea what he's like. Just thinking about him makes me want to throw up so today hasn't been great. It hurts to think that a girl my age is going to go through what I went through and she has no idea yet. I hate him so much.

Hi, anon.

I am so sorry you had to see one of your abusers. It can be really difficult knowing that they could be hurting someone else. I completely understand why you hate him. I hope you were able to do some self-care after seeing him.

Mod Devyn

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

hi, im the anon that was struggling with friend issues that y'all couldn't pull advice for

im here to say thank you and not to worry about not being able to give me advice! i was just seeking validation in a hard time where i felt there was none. thank you for still trying though. i appreciate it a lot. may your days be filled with happiness from here and throughout 💚

Thank you anon, this is very sweet of you.

Mod Devyn

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

TW: sa , csa

Validation, support, advice

Hi i’m so sorry this might be long i’m just so overwhelmed and tired and don’t know what to do. I was molested for years by a family friend. He is five years older than me and goes to my church and both of our families are really close. Idk how young i was when it started maybe from 5-16. I’ve never told anyone because my family is extremely religious and i probably won’t be believed. When I was 16 he came to me and said he didn’t know what he was doing and not to tell anyone. This abuse has affected me mentally so bad and lately it’s getting too much. This weekend my sister is getting married to his brother and i’m just so sad and overwhelmed. i don’t know what to do. i want to be happy for my sister and pretend but i’m just heartbroken because now he will be a part of my family and i can’t say anything now. i’m left to deal with the damage of what he did to me. i don’t want to cause any drama or ruin their marriage. i’m just so sad and i feel so dirty and disgusting and selfish. i feel like i’m making this all about myself instead of being happy for my sister. i just want to be happy for once in my life

Hey anon.

So, this is a lot. First of all, you're not disgusting or selfish or making it all about you. Ultimately, what you do is up to you. We can't make the decision for you. But I don't think that you can't say anything after this weekend. Personally, I would mention it now just to prevent it being more of an issue later, but in the end, like I said, it is up to you, and only you know what will feel right to you.

I'm sorry I couldn't be much more help, but it didn't feel right to let the message sit there past this weekend. Best of luck to you.

Mod Devyn

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

Trigger warnings: SA attempted grooming death of a parent mental abuse emotional neglect religious trauma EDs

Validation and acknowledgment I’m so sorry that this is so long feel free to ignore this I kind of got carried away :)

So my parents got a divorce when I was 2 and at 4 my mom remarried to a great guy and we moved an hour and a half away. My dad lived with his abusive parents my grandparents They mentally controlled him and I and I didn’t realize the extent till the last few years. They made me feel like if I didn’t do what they wanted all the time they wouldn’t love me and turned me against my moms side of the family. They are also very religious and told me my mom and I would go to hell if we didn’t obey them. My dad was an alcoholic and I had to basically be his therapist when he was drunk he would cry to me even at the age of like 6/7 I also heard them scream at him every night and I would have panic attacks in my room whenever I was at their house. My dad was my hero I worshiped him he was like my best friend and he died when I was ten. I am about to be 16 now and I still get so so sad over him and what he went through and how much I miss him. My mom has been extremely toxic and controlling my whole life but she’s also had such a traumatic upbringing. She gave me an eating disorder and never noticed how bad my mental health was as a kid she never protected me from my grandparents even though she knew what was going on. She used to scream and scream at me when I binged instead of helping me. When I was 12 a male teacher started paying me “special” attention in class. He would give and only me the answers on tests let me do whatever I wanted in class and talk to me every class while everyone else was working. He would praise me to whoever was picking me up and even bought a shirt to match mine. He said it would be our “special little thing” to wear it on fridays. I was very creeped out and scared at this point and I told my mom she completely blew me off and said I was just being dramatic. That night I had a dream where he raped me. I completely distanced myself after that and he backed off. I constantly think it didn’t matter because nothing actually happened but it mattered to me. I told my mom and she made me feel horrible. I was being severely bullied by my whole class that year and it was just awful. When I was in 6th grade a boy next to me started masterbating in the middle of class I was pretty innocent and it freaked me out the boy on the other side of me was like why are you being so dramatic this is normal. and When I was in elementary school this boy I was friends with SAed me. We were doing a test and he told me if I didn’t let him do what he wanted he would tell the teacher I cheated on his test. He sat me down in his lap and kept telling me to pull my pants down more I don’t remember anything after that. I told my mom a few years ago and she didn’t believe me because it happened at school she just told me I had a nightmare. It wasn’t a nightmare it was real why would I make that up. My mom makes fun of me for being “childish” I do things like collecting dolls plushies and watching cartoons to cope with my traumatic childhood and it really hurts :( I just feel so weighed down because of my trauma and just very very alone

Hey anon,

I will absolutely answer this because you deserve an answer!

I am sorry for what happened to you. It is a lot and it is understandable that you feel weighted down by it.

Honestly, your mom should have protected you from your grandparents and she should have believed you all that you experienced. There is no excuse that she didn’t, not even that she experienced trauma herself. She is your mom and believing you and fighting for you is her job. And I am so sorry that she didn’t and even emotionally abused you herself.

What your teacher did to you is grooming and you are wrong when you say “nothing actually happened”. A lot happened and you felt uncomfortable (for a good reason) and you had no one who’d protect you.

It is normal that you don’t remember all of the sexual assault, it still is exactly that. And you were right when you freaked out in class. That was not normal and not okay, even without your past experiences.

And most importantly: plushies and cartoons are nothing exclusively for children. Do what makes you happy. Many people, who had a traumatic childhood, make up for it later. And even if you just like those things for no reason, it is still completely fine.

You are not alone and there will be people who believe you (I do). You should really seek out professional help to process all of this.

Have a nice weekend and please do something you enjoy.

Mod Robin

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌙

knowing your 'why'...

is important when making serious efforts towards something.

it's important to remember why you are doing what you are doing, how it's going to make life better for you if at all and why it matters to you so much.

this will give you motivation to keep moving forward and will also help analyse from time to time if you're moving in the correct direction.

question yourself. know your reasons ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌈

if you are unable...

...to find the strength to be positive today, then k ow that it's okay to let go for a bit.

keeping up a positive attitude can be tiring at times. if it gets too difficult,let your feel low for a bit.

positivity doesn't mean that you don't feel sad. it means that you know that you'll bounce back and that it'll get better. be positive, not numb ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

💜

you've been working hard...

...lately. consider this a gentle nudge to take care of yourself a bit more.

working hard or hardly working, it's important that you care for yourself. that you make yourself feel cared for.

you are precious. you deserve love and care ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌻

healing is not a...

...pretty process.

it's rough, bumpy, and mostly uphill. don't expect it to be quick and easy.

but when you start healing, it's so worth it. put effort into your growth. you'll appreciate it ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌱

if you've made even the littlest effort...

...towards your mental health today, then you deserve appreciation for your efforts.

mental health issues like depressions, anxiety or simply a temporary imbalance - they are all heavy and weigh on you. you carry an extra load on top of your regular responsibilities.

so go easy on yourself. your efforts mean a lot. take care of yourself. you deserve it ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌷

this is simply a reminder...

...to hydrate and think happy thoughts.

it may be difficult right now but take this as a sign to try a little bit more. take care of yourself, for you are precious ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌼

if you're feeling anxious...

...and even though you're trying your best, it's a bit too much to manage right now, remember that it's okay.

anxiety is tough. don't add to it by blaming yourself for how well you deal with it, or don't. all that matters is that you try.

keep going. keep trying. and when it's too much, it's okay to let it go and let yourself feel ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

☀️

doing something that...

takes you out of your comfort zone, takes strength, motivation, and a strong will.

if you made an effort to even tip your toe out of your comfort zone today, then take this message as a virtual pat on your back.

you did good. you're amazing for being able to find the strength. be proud of yourself ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌙

missing a task can be uncomfortable...

... especially when you value the difference your efforts make.

but remember to go easy on yourself too. sometimes, it's just too much to do and you need some off time. that's okay. that's normal.

allow yourself to cool down in this off time. you deserve breaks like this. let yourself recharge ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌿

falling short of your goals...

...can feel disappointing.

your efforts, however whole hearted they might have been, can sometimes fall short. it's in no way a reflection of your abilities or strengths.

sometimes it works out in a single try while other times it may take a few extra takes. if it's important for your growth, don't give up. keep going. you can do it ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

💜

self love is...

...knowing what you need and what you don't need in your life.

self love is allowing things and people who are a positive influence on your life, to enter your life. it's also realising what disturbs your peace and should no longer be welcome in your life.

self love is not just finding out your positives and adding them in but also identifying the negatives and moving towards weeding them out. do better for you. for your own good. ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌈

it's slow right now...

...but not stagnant.

things are happening. they are in the background and you can't see it yet but the wheels are moving to bring the best to you.

find the patience within. look forward to the brightness ahead ✨

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

🌼

it's on the way

the thing, person, event or change that you are waiting for is coming.

keep working towards it. keep holding on. it'll be here soon ✨