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Why can't I just be ok? Just breathe and go through life. I understand life has its pressures and stress and low points but why can't I experience it without having my mind wake up in such a way without even giving life a try.
I'm so tired
And I wanna be ok
I just don't know how to pull myself out of it
Maybe if I get sicker.. stupid thought.. but maybe then when I can't do it myself the state will take hold of my life and teach me how to breathe but also how can I not lie and say I'm fine when I look fine .. urgh
#depression#self harm#self injury#suicide#cutting#suicidal#ed#tw#eating disorder#purging#bulimia#bulimiia#anorexia#anorexya#ana#mia#depressed
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I'm not mentally intense enough to kill kyself
I want a future but I also want to be drastic and irrational and unbearable just so some medic can say "yes we need to help them"
Just cause I'm not slicing my wrists hourly like I used to doesn't mean I'm ok now
I am finally willing to talk please allow for services to let me do that dear government
#depression#self harm#self injury#mine#writingwhore#black and white#suicide#cutting#art#suicidal#anorexia#bulimica#bulimia#binge eating#purge#ed#tw
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