swallowthekn1fe

[swallowthekn1fe]

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

[swallowthekn1fe]

Hey so not to be a whore or anything but I think I need someone to preform open heart surgery on me

[swallowthekn1fe]

This line. Mads, I'm gonna need you to be a worse actor for a second, ok bud? Because what. The look of betrayal on his face. The way his lip curls like a dog ready to bare its teeth. Lump in his throat. Swallowing back tears that were never supposed to see the light of someone elses eyes. Almost disgusted at himself for not only entertaining the idea of letting Will see inside of him, but actively giving him the looking glass and saying, "Here. This is me in all of my depravity."

He specifically says "I let you know me." He gave permission. Encouraged it. He wanted it. It's the human in him getting sedated. Put down. Bad dog or whatever.

This guy drives me insane because he knows what he is. Knows that what he does is "the most disgusting thing in the world" to others. But then some twitchy man is placed in his field of vision, and being the hawk he is, zeros in on him. For as smart as he is, as strategic and deadly, he still feels deeply. Maybe not in the same way Will does (obviously) but he still hopes. Still yearns. If he was devoted to a god he would've probably prayed about it to. But he didn't need a god. Didn't want one to confide in. He was fine on his own. Until Will.

I'm sure that he sees Will as some form of otherworldly light. Dark. Grey area. Whatever the vapid space between stars is called, he sees that in Will. That is Will.

Giving into human desires is beneath him. And yet he let his perfectly curated human suit be unraveled because he finally met the one person who could understand him. Finally met the person who he could hold a mirror to and see bits of himself in the reflection. And that mirror got shattered like a teacup. Seven years of bad luck or something.

Betrayal is an ache deep in your gut. Feels like your organs are being ripped out of you just like the rug beneath your feet. And you can only think about how foolish you were for wanting anything in the first place. Disappointment requires expectation and good lord was that man close to his own heaven on earth. An alter he would worship without prying eyes. A love that would shelter him. Cut him and hold pressure to the wound.

Jesus christ love is so fucking humiliating sometimes

[swallowthekn1fe]

Time for my nightly Stand. Where is stand in the shower for however long it takes me to come back to reality

[swallowthekn1fe]

in the softed bed. straight up "hurging it". and by "it" , haha, well. let's justr say. My tebdy

[swallowthekn1fe]

Why did three of you reblog this. You should not be relating to this guys. Guys.

No, but there's genuinely something wrong with me. I was doing the dishes yesterday, and I had to dump out the nasty ass food in the bottom of the sink yk. And I'm really weird about smells, so im like trying not to gag or whatever. And as a solution, i tell myself over and over again, "Just pretend it's brain matter." Hey so what the fuck. I mean, it worked, though

[swallowthekn1fe]

hi pookie i could just dm you thjs but i dont want to

i dont know if you like any kind of rap but XANAKIN SKYWOK. please

the last one is soundcloud. sorry there were no spotify options for it 💔 i hope you like soundcloud

HELL YEAH BROTHER ‼️

[swallowthekn1fe]

The shit I say to my friends about fictional men is genuinely blasphemous. "I need to bounce on it crazy style" how about you stop bouncing from obsession to obsession and get a fucking job

[swallowthekn1fe]

I can't even watch Hannibal anymore. Anytime anyone is on screen I get too giddy and I have to eat ice cream to calm down

[swallowthekn1fe]

I can't be normal about Will Graham anymore guys im sorry. I need to see what that empathy do

[swallowthekn1fe]

Guys they found out. New characters unlocked (friends)

I have a church event thingy tomorrow and im nervous. What if they find out im a fucking freak

[swallowthekn1fe]

Guys im literally serving face rn (covered in a sheen of sweat, hallucinating, probably manic, mystery blood dripping down my body, religious psychosis)

[swallowthekn1fe]

some pics from last summer :P i miss my pink hair era </3 should i dye it again?? im thinking red this time

[swallowthekn1fe]

I have a church event thingy tomorrow and im nervous. What if they find out im a fucking freak

[swallowthekn1fe]

felt pretty

[swallowthekn1fe]

"What is your problem??" idk man I'd like to find out too

[swallowthekn1fe]

GIVE ME YOUR MOST QUESTIONABLE SONG!!!!

(this is not really my most questionable song. its up there tho)

UHHHHH I DONT KNOW 😭😭 Lesbian vampires from outer space is pretty good😭