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China blocked Tumblr because of pornography and censorship problems in 2013.
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.psychotic Love
My eyes hide secrets.
The thoughts of us sets me aflame and I’m afraid to admit that my heart still beats
slowly beats for your satanic touch in which misery caresses my self-hate.
I’ve thought of this image as a way of showing love, shedding blood spatter across newly painted walls. I’ve screamed enough and I’ve dealt with enough shit to know how I feel, so don’t judge me
The simple imagery of the same hearts beating in unison sends the devils heart in to flames. I’ve thought about you so much it makes the acids within my stomach bubble. Makes heaven and hell compete for the tides on which my heart sways putting out its eternal flames
It’s love I tell you
pure
intentional
suicidal
psychotic love
& I know you can’t leave me
cause ive left signs of your remains as things of the past
~Elizabeth Tyease Collins
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Swing Life Away
♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️
I’m high
I’m low
I’m high
I’m low
I’m high
I’m low
I’m high
I’m low
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FUCK
Is there any other word more versatile than the word fuck?
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Damien Lucifer Zygote ❤️🔥
“It’s a really big world & ever-expanding multiverse of infinite possibilities. Take a chance. I’m glad you did.”
I think the Universe gives us all a once in a lifetime chance to cross paths with a stranger that will forever change our lives. For me , that stranger would turn out being Damien.
I’ve spent the past 6 years navigating all the emotions I’ve felt on this journey thru life , trying to figure out exactly what it is about this man that keeps me craving his energy. If I’m being honest , I still don’t have the answers. What I do know , I couldn’t imagine a world where he didn’t exist in mine.
He is eternal. I think he’ll exist in every lifetime , within every parallel Universe. His energy is the energy I will crave & gravitate towards until the end of time. But time carries on forever …
My forever favorite human
♾️❤️🔥♾️
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COUNTING BLESSINGS
🪷 Family … Once upon a time , I was a disappointment to mine. I put myself before them & made choices that left many scars. Thru it all , they never left my side , even though my mind in those moments of chaos & disaster I thought I was alone. I thank God every day that I have the love & support of my family. I thank God every day for giving me the strength to change my ways , to be a better person , not only for myself .. but for my family.
🏠 West Pitt Street … Home Sweet Home. Crazy to say , but this apartment is probably one of my greatest accomplishments. The first place I’ve held down completely on my own. Just a little over a year ago , my journey to turn this place into to a home began. With the help of some friends , we painted every room & I began turning visions in to realities. The journey began with nothing but my clothes , a bucket & an air mattress. A year later , I’ve transformed a small apartment on the shitty end of town in to my place of comfort. A place I feel safe & enjoy coming home to.
🫶 Friends that become family. In the past year , I’ve come to realize the importance of keeping my circle small & the value of genuine friendships. The importance of being selective of those I welcome in to my space & confide in. I don’t have many that I consider true friends , but the few that I have … I’m forever grateful to have in my life.
💸 Life as a 911 Dispatcher trainee. In November I lost my job … It sucked. It sucked really bad. Going from being a waitress & making more than enough money to support myself and enjoy life to draining my savings account just to get by. I was unemployed for a little over a month & my savings was running low. Little did I know , I would be starting the new year training to be a 911 dispatcher. It’s been a blessing in disguise. A job I can walk to in less than 5 minutes. A job providing me with health insurance , a 401k & benefits I would never get waitressing. I’m no longer making the easy $$ that comes along with waitressing , but the odds was in my favor when this opportunity came along. A job with purpose. A job that stimulates my mind & challenges me. A job that allows me to help others. Along with it comes great stress & some days are sad ones … but it gives me purpose & the opportunity to save lives. I love my job.
👶 Grandbabies. & watching my familia grow. I used to hate the sound of being a “grandma” - it made me feel old. But , I LOVE being “grannuh-B” & I’m proud to be Scarlet & River’s grandma. Watching my family grow for sure makes my heart happy.
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SHUT THE FUCK UP
What goes up, must come down.
I should recognize the pattern by now. The never-fucking-ending cycle.
There’s moments I get so high on life that I feel invincible. But then comes the intrusive thoughts , lurking in the back of my mind like a thief in the night.
And just like that , my happy ride in the clouds comes crashing down. I’m alone. Just me & my thoughts.
It’s wild. Flying high in the clouds one day. Drowning the next.
Tonight I’m drowning. Drowning in the dark , deep ocean of my mind.
Paranoid. Insecure. Hopeless.
Tonight , I’m screaming internally , pleading with my mind to just shut the fuck up.
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I’m just a dreamer …
Part of my “fall asleep” routine is replaying past dreams in my mind until I drift off to la la land. Weird habit I inherited over time. It just happens …
Past dreams start flowing thru my mind. Some from 20+ years ago , others more recent. Vivid memories of a past that only exists in the astral plane. Some linger , some come & go in flashes. There’s no rhyme or reason to how they come to me , or which I remember.
Ah , my life in the astral plane. How you muse me with your strangeness.
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“There is only you. Nothing before you. Nothing beyond you”
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I can’t be the only one who explodes with raw emotions every time they watch Josh Katz sing
That toxic shit will have you screaming , like yes baby , I feel you
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We’re fucked , it’s fine.
Humanity is going in for that slow kill , poisoning our thoughts , our minds …
We’re fucked. It’s fine.
Functioning like programmed robots , being told how to think. How to feel.
We’re fucked. But , it’s fine.
The show goes on.
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A perfect representation of my last “relationship”
A clown that fell for a joker.
Falling for his every word. Turning red flags in to trophies .. seeing how many I could catch , like a sadistic game. Spiraling in to darkness for the adrenaline rush of the spiral back up.. over & over again. Playing russian roulette with my heart & sanity.
There’s a certain kinda beauty in breaking a trauma bond. Playing with fire & rising from the ashes after being burnt.
The satisfaction of surviving the grips of a mad man. Unscathed.
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Lately , been catching myself slipping in to negative space. My little black cloud been hovering over me, taunting & teasing.. threatening to consume me.
I see you , little black cloud.
I’ll be down here drowning myself in positive vibes & headspace anyways. ✌️
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The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever
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