sweeterwithtwo

[sweeterwithtwo]

She’s here!

She’s here! Miss AJ is here! Here is her birth story, along with the events leading up to her arrival.

On Monday, September 28, I had a doctor’s appointment. G had planned to go with me because the prospect of a c-section was really making me anxious and frustrated. Plus, my last two appointments had not gone well, so he was joining me for moral support. (Two appointments ago, I found out baby girl was breech and I had low amniotic fluid, and at the last appointment I bled so badly during the cervical check that the nurse practitioner was afraid she was going to have to admit me.) When we arrived at the doctor’s office though, we found out my doctor was delivering a baby and all her appointments would be pushed back about an hour. G couldn’t wait that long, so he headed to work. 

After about half an hour of waiting, the nurse called me back and asked if I would see the nurse practitioner instead of my doctor. I love the nurse practitioner. She saw me through my miscarriage and has always given me great care. However, she would not be the one doing the c-section on October 13, and I had a lot of questions for my doctor. I explained this all to the nurse as politely as possible because we were right outside of the nurse practitioner’s office and I knew she could hear us. The last thing I wanted was to offend her. The nurse actually pushed back a little and pointed out that I would have one more appointment before my scheduled c-section to ask my doctor my questions, but something told me to hold my ground. I needed to see my doctor. 

The nurse practitioner, who had overheard everything, suggested I have an ultrasound to check my fluid levels and make sure baby girl was still breech while I waited. So I went across the waiting room to see the stenographer to confirmed that yes, baby girl was still breech, but that my fluid had increased from 8 to 10. I am suspicious of the original low fluid diagnosis, but at this point, I guess it doesn’t really matter. 

After the ultrasound, I waited another 15 minutes to see my doctor. She did a cervical check and pronounced me not dilated at all. Then she took me into her office and validated all of my fears and frustrations. She told me her story, about four vaginal births and an emergency c-section and how cheated she felt because of that c-section. It was very therapeutic and I’m glad I waited to see her. I left her office feeling much better about October 13. And the fact that I was not at all dilated convinced me that baby girl would not arrive before then.

At 1 a.m. on Wednesday, September 30, less than 48 hours after my doctor’s appointment, I woke up to very strong pains in my abdomen. G had made chili the night before, and I had been dealing with some tummy troubles over the past few days, so I initially brushed it off as indigestion. When the pain, which was coming in waves, wouldn’t quit, I decided to get up and try to go to the bathroom. I also decided to download a contraction timing app just in case. For the next 30 minutes I did everything I could to rule out indigestion. I drank water, walked around, and took Tums. I also saw that from the get-go, the contractions were about 1 minute long and 3 minute apart, which is typically when you call the doctor. Finally, at about 1:45, I went in and woke up G. He was immediately skeptical and thought I was overreacting. As I was talking to him, I had another contraction. When the contraction was over, he asked me groggily if I’d had a contraction recently. That’s when I knew I was going to have to make the decision to call the doctor myself!

I called my doctor’s office and spoke to the doctor on call, who immediately told me to come in. With that, I turned on the light and told my sleepy husband to throw some clothes in the hospital bag. I also went and woke up my mother to give her the monitor and ask her to take care of Nolan. She also seemed skeptical, but at this point I was sure we were not coming home without a baby. 

The ride to the hospital was long, painful, and mostly scary. It’s one thing to have a baby on the side of the highway. It’s quite another to have a breech baby on the side of the highway. My doctor had also warned me that cord prolapse, which is nearly always fatal to the baby, is more likely with breech babies if the bag of waters breaks. I spent the hour journey breathing through contractions and praying my water didn’t break. 

G drove fast, and we arrived at the hospital at 3:25. And so began the most painful hour of my life. After getting checked in, we were asked to wait in the lobby for a nurse to come and get us. When I was in labor with N, the nurse came immediately. But even though the waiting room was empty, apparently it was a busy night in L&D. It felt like at least 20 minutes in that waiting room, with contractions only a minute apart, but any woman who has ever been in labor before knows that time is a funny thing during childbirth. G would probably say it was only 5 or 10 minutes. But by the end, I was literally begging the receptionist to go get someone to help me. G was totally embarrassed. But it was only the beginning of that! 

[sweeterwithtwo]

A Letter to My Daughter

Hello little one! You would not believe how excited your daddy, big brother, and I are to meet you in just a few weeks. I hope you know how loved you already are. We are really looking forward to October.

However, before you arrive, you and I have something to discuss. Currently, my sweet dear, you are breech, with your head up in my ribs and your little bottom down. You may not be aware that you are supposed to be head down, with your cute little feet kicking me in the ribs. (In fact, this will likely be the only time I give you permission to kick me in the ribs!)

I love you very much, and should you decide to stay breech, I promise I will not hold it against you. However, as your mother, who has carried you in her womb for the last nine months and who will attend to your every need for the next 18 years, I am asking very nicely if you would please do me this one little favor and turn around. A breech baby in the United States in 2015 means a c-section, and while I am very, very thankful for modern medicine, I do not want major abdominal surgery. I had a difficult recovery after giving birth to your brother vaginally, and I know that recovery from a c-section will be worse. I want to be able to focus on your needs, little one, in those first few weeks, and I am concerned that I will not be able to do so after a c-section. 

For the next few weeks, I am going to do everything I can to make it easier for you to turn around. If you feel the urge to flip, please do so! I think you and I will make a very good team in the years to come, so let’s get started by working together now. I love you. 

Love, Mommy

[sweeterwithtwo]

Struggling

“The second trimester is magical,” they say. “You’ll feel your best during the second trimester.” Ugh. Nothing could be further from the truth for me for the past 12 weeks. Bring back the nausea and extreme exhaustion from the first trimester! This second trimester, quite frankly, totally sucks.

The trouble all started back in mid-April, just before my birthday, when a chalazion appeared. Similar to a stye but not as painful and usually found further back on the eyelid than a stye, I was plagued with chalazions during my pregnancy with N. However, since they didn’t bother me much at all, I didn’t have them drained (most require a simple out-patient procedure) until after I gave birth. 

Well the one I developed in April was a doozy, so I finally made an appointment with my ophthalmologist in May. She put me on antibiotic drops (which I had cleared by my OB) and asked me to come back in two weeks. When I saw her again, the chalazion had tripled in size, so we agreed it needed to be drained. I had the procedure approved by my OB, and everything went well. A week after the procedure, the eye was healing nicely but still a little swollen. 

Then, on July 3 (why does everything always happen on a holiday weekend?!) I woke up and my eyelid was extremely swollen. I mean, Rocky Balboa, Quasimodo swollen. (These are just a few of the names my loving family and friends have called me.) I pushed for an appointment with my doctor for the following Tuesday, and she put me on a pregnancy-safe antibiotic with the assurance that the swelling would reduce in 48 hours. Well, let’s just say that 7 days later when I finished the antibiotic, the swelling was exactly the same. 

At my follow-up appointment, she recommended we wait another 1-2 weeks to see if my body would reduce the inflammation naturally. However, when the swelling started pushing on my cornea and affecting my vision, I pretty much demanded another appointment. That was yesterday. To her credit, she saw me immediately and agreed that something needed to be done. 

So this morning she gave me two shots of a steroid in my eyelid, which, let me tell you, hurt like hell. She was planning to give me a topical anesthetic under my eyelid, but it was so swollen she couldn’t even flip it. She said normally in these circumstances she would just send me to the OR and put me under general anesthetic, but of course she can’t because I’m pregnant. So I had two shots in my eyelid without any anesthetic. I might have yelled. I bet I scared off everyone in the waiting room! 

And now we wait. We are hoping for a 70% reduction in swelling in about three days. Prayers are appreciated. Even though everything has been approved by my OB (the drops, the antibiotic, and the two procedures), I feel SO incredibly guilty for doing all this while I’m pregnant. I am just terrified that I am hurting my baby girl. But at the same time, I’m also miserable. My eyelid has been swollen for 19 days. It’s pretty much all I think about, especially now that it’s affecting my vision, and I know that stress can’t be good for her either. So I really, really hope today’s measures help. I reach the third trimester on Sunday. Maybe that will bring some changes (for the better) to my eye!

[sweeterwithtwo]

The Not So Terrible Twos

I’m probably jinxing myself, but N has been as good as gold lately. We’ve had some potty training regression, and a little acting out when we first moved in with my parents, but for the past few weeks he’s been really cute and smart and funny. 

Yesterday  on the way home we were talking about all the people that were coming to our new house when it’s finished. We listed Mommy, Daddy, N, and Sissy. N thought for a second and then said to me, “Popsicles coming to new house?” The kid has his priorities.

Then this morning in the car, we were streaming Pandora Toddler Radio as usual, and N was playing with my phone. He accidentally paused the song, and while he can usually figure out how to make it play again,  time he was having trouble. (I think he had opened another app and couldn’t get back to the music one.) I asked him if he wanted me to just press play on the radio. He said, “No Mommy.” Then I asked him if he wanted to hand me the phone and I’d press play there. He said, “No Mommy. Mommy drive.” Well okay then! It took him another 30 seconds, but he figured out how to put that music back on all by himself! 

[sweeterwithtwo]

Stealing My Beauty

This pregnancy has caused a giant stye to form on my upper right eyelid. I can’t say I’m super surprised it happened because I had to have three removed/drained after giving birth to Nolan, but this one was really, really bad. My ophthalmologist gave me antibiotic drops to use and asked me to come back and see her in two weeks. Instead of healing, she said the stye had nearly tripled in size between appointments! So yesterday I finally had it drained, and even though I now have a black, oozing eye, I’m so happy it’s gone! I know they say that girls steal your beauty, but what this child is doing to my skin is crazy. Not only did I have a giant stye, but I’ve broken out everywhere. I even had a zit in my armpit! What the heck?! Physically I feel pretty good (minus some sciatica) but I’m definitely not one of those women that has a glowing second trimester. Is it fall yet?

[sweeterwithtwo]

America’s Favorite Pastime

He’s only 2, but it’s clear N has gotten the baseball gene from his father and my father. Yesterday afternoon my mom asked N which teacher was using the stapler when she arrived to pick him up from daycare. (She doesn’t pick him up that often so she doesn’t know the teachers’ names.) He couldn’t answer her. An hour later, G asked N which baseball team we root for in addition to the Orioles. N immediately said, “Go Nats!” I guess we know his priorities!

[sweeterwithtwo]

Role Reversal

This summer, I’m taking an online class two evenings a week. The other night, class had ended at about 10:45 p.m. and I had already gotten ready for bed when I realized I needed to take some cough medicine if I was going to get any sleep that night. I headed downstairs and, using my phone as my flashlight, started rifling through my parents’ medicine cabinet looking for something to take. I had just found what I was looking for when I heard the garage door open and my dad come into the kitchen. I was surprised to see him, as I had assumed he was already asleep like the rest of the house. However, he had been at a baseball game and, because of a rain delay, he was just getting home. 

I found it extremely amusing that there I was in my pajamas and contacts feeling as if I should have been asleep hours ago and he was just getting home after 11 on a weeknight, so I decided to jokingly give him a little role reversal lecture. I started to tease him but he just looked at me with a very confused expression and said, “What?” very loudly. I tried again, but had to stop when he very loudly started to tell me that he had taken his hearing aids off for the game and I would have to speak up. I tried to yell “Never mind!” in a way that he would hear me and I wouldn’t wake up the entire house, but he couldn’t hear that either. I eventually had to just give him a goodnight hug and go upstairs. When I got to the bedroom, G asked me if there was a party going on downstairs. Nope, just my father, who sometimes acts like a teenager but definitely can’t hear like one! 

[sweeterwithtwo]

Moving Day

On Saturday we said goodbye to our little house, put most of our stuff in storage, and moved in with my parents. It was a sad, stressful day. We’re building a new house about 20 minutes west of the city, but it won’t be ready until October. (It’s anyone’s guess which comes first, the baby or the house!) Since we sold our house so quickly, our options for the interim were an overpriced 2-bedroom apartment or live with my parents. We chose the latter. 

The move has been hard on all of us, but so far N, who I am the most worried about, is hanging in there. He’s been acting up a bit, but I think that’s to be expected. It helps that we’ve moved in with his grandma, one of his most favorite people in the world. 

One of N’s favorite activities is to drive one of our cars. We turn it on but leave it in park (of course) and gets to press all the buttons. It occupies him for at least half an hour. I always ask him where we’re going when he drives, and he usually says the grocery store (to buy popsicles) or grandma’s house. On Sunday after our move he was driving my car in my parents’ driveway and I asked him where we were going. He said very matter-of-factly, “home.” I burst into tears! 

I do think he understands that we’re not going back to our old house though. Whenever we’re out, he always says, “back to grandma’s house.” In fact, he’s started to correct me if I say we’re going “home.” He definitely doesn’t equate grandma’s house with home, so G and I have decided to follow suit and call it “grandma’s house,” not “home.” It’s only been a few days but already I’m ready for a home of our own!

[sweeterwithtwo]

It’s a girl!

I really can’t believe it. It’s a girl! I was convinced that I was destined to be surrounded by all boys. I’m so glad I was wrong. G and I are both totally thrilled. N basically said, “I told you so.” (He’s been saying it was a sister from the beginning.)

We have absolutely no girl stuff, but thankfully my BFF just had a little girl two weeks ago, and I’ve already claimed hand-me-downs. I’ll probably do the nursery in the same decor I used for N (with a few girly touches) and N can get a big boy room. Initially I felt bad about reusing N’s nursery stuff for her, but really, she’s not going to care. She’s a baby. She just needs lots of love, food, and clean diapers. And she will have those in spades. It’s N that may not want his sister using his stuff!

At the suggestion of a friend and some mommy blogs, I bought N a doll so he could practice being a big brother. I also bought him the Daniel Tiger book where Daniel becomes a big brother. He loves both the doll and the book so much. G was pretty skeptical of the doll, but N asks us to help him change her diaper several times a day. It’s so cute. We call her sissy and she sleeps in his crib with him now too. 

And as if N couldn’t get any cuter, he’s been asking to kiss the baby, meaning kiss my belly, pretty regularly. And then this past weekend he was eating peaches (his all-time favorite) and he asked if the baby would like a peach. I said sure, so he pretended to feed my belly one of the peaches. A-DORABLE. I try to remember this stuff when he is in the middle of typical two-year-old meltdowns!

[sweeterwithtwo]

Baby Kicks

We find out tomorrow whether this baby is a boy or a girl, but whatever the gender, this kid is rocking and rolling inside of me! I definitely couldn't feel N moving around this much this early on. (I hear that’s normal with second kids.) I’m 18 weeks as of yesterday, and I've been feeling him/her for at least two weeks. 

I first felt the baby move when I was sitting on the sofa late one evening working on the killer final project for the class I took this semester. G had gone up to bed and the house was totally quiet. All of a sudden I felt a little jump, and I thought, “Oh! I know what that was!” It was very cool. A few days later was Mother’s Day morning, and I was lying in bed slowly waking up when I realized there seemed to be a dance party going on in my uterus! If this kid moves as much on the outside as he/she does on the inside, we’re going to be in big trouble! 

[sweeterwithtwo]

Overwhelmed

What a week! Last Friday, April 10, I had my first trimester screen where it was confirmed that I am, in fact, having a baby! As far as we know, he/she is healthy and the risk for Down’s Syndrome is low. We are pretty thrilled. We saw the two hemispheres of baby’s brain, eye sockets, nasal bone, two arms with hands and fingers, two legs, stomach, heart, and spine. It was pretty amazing. 

I’m convinced it’s a boy. I would like it to be a girl, but if it’s not, I don’t think I’ll be heartbroken. I realize that it might get harder as he gets older, but right now I understand N, so I think I will be able to understand a second son too. If you ask N if he wants a brother or a sister, he always says, “sister!”

On top of the joyous news of a so-far healthy pregnancy, we have been working like crazy to get our house ready to go on the market. We spent all of last weekend decluttering, cleaning, and organizing. On Monday the professional photographer came to take pictures and put up the sign. The house went on the market at 11 p.m. Tuesday night, and yesterday (Wednesday) our Realtor hosted a broker’s open house. 

At the open house, a soon-to-be pediatrician stopped by (even though he wasn't a broker) and told our Realtor he wanted to bring his wife by that evening. We got a call that they would be coming back around 6:30 p.m., and since I was in class, G took N out to dinner. By 8 p.m. they had submitted a full-price offer, but asking for $9,000 in closing costs. We countered this morning at $4,500 in closing costs and they accepted immediately. I signed the contract around noon. Pending a home inspection, we sold our house in 36 hours!

I am having quite a bit of difficulty processing the huge changes that are about to take place in my life. I’m excited, but very, very sad to leave our home. The last five years have been some of the best of my life. That house is where I learned to be first a wife and then a mother. (I’m still working on both!) I conceived two children there, grieved over a miscarriage, watched N learn how to walk, celebrated G’s graduation from law school and his job offer, potty trained N, explored most of southeast Baltimore, reconnected with some amazing mom friends, and enjoyed countless holidays. Before we moved to this city, I was pretty sure the college years were as good as my life was going to get. I was dead wrong. Things aren't perfect, but I am so blessed and so fulfilled... and overwhelmed!   

[sweeterwithtwo]

Showing

It’s a good thing I’m nearing the end of the first trimester, because it’s getting harder and harder to hide this pregnancy. When I was just 8 weeks along I wore a fitted sweater dress with tights that I thought would hold my stomach in. A coworker saw me and asked my boss if I was pregnant. Then yesterday, another coworker asked my suite-mate the same thing. I had to break out my maternity pants for my Wednesday doctor’s appointment, and it feels so good to be comfortable again that I’m not going back to regular clothes. Time to embrace it!

[sweeterwithtwo]

This is my heartbeat song...

I heard a heartbeat! On Wednesday I had my first routine doctor’s appointment with my regular OB, not the nurse practitioner. I love my doctor, and I was very happy to see her, but when she started coming toward me with the Doppler, I put up my hands. 

During this exact appointment when I was pregnant with N, the doctor (who was NOT my regular doctor) was unable to find a heartbeat with the Doppler and it threw me into a tailspin. I pretty much hysterically sobbed until I was able to get an ultrasound appointment, which took a few hours. Of course, everything was fine and the culprit was determined to be my tipped uterus. (It tips toward the back of my body; and now you know more about my uterus than you ever wanted to know.)

I reminded my doctor of all this, and she reassured me that if we couldn't find a heartbeat with the Doppler, we would not freak out, rather we would just go across the hall to the in-house ultrasound technician who was working that morning. Pacified, I let her try, and it took probably three solid minutes to find it, but we heard a heartbeat! It was 170, which is perfect. She also reminded me that even though most people wait to share pregnancy news until after the first trimester scan (which we have scheduled for April 10), my rate of miscarriage is now less than 5 percent. I am so thrilled!

[sweeterwithtwo]

Time to Catch Up

Well, I hit 7 weeks yesterday, and already this pregnancy has been an adventure to say the least. On February 19, I started spotting a little bit. At first it was so minimal I wasn't sure it was even really happening, but that evening I passed a few clots and a lot of mucus and I freaked out. Bad. I went to bed that night completely heartbroken, convinced the pregnancy was over. 

The next morning I continued to spot brown, so I called the nurse practitioner. She said that they don't typically worry about brown spotting but because of my history, she wanted to send me for blood work and an ultrasound. Garrett met me at the ultrasound place, and I have to admit, I did not have a very positive outlook. When the technician showed us the sac, I immediately said, "Well there's no heartbeat." She said, "I haven't zoomed in yet!" So she zoomed in, and even though she calculated the pregnancy at only 5 weeks 5 days, there was a very tiny heartbeat! She gave me a due date of October 19!

I continued to spot brown for the rest of Friday and most of Saturday. By Sunday, the spotting had stopped. I had my OB appointment Tuesday, and the nurse practitioner said my blood work was perfect. She congratulated me on being pregnant. It was certainly not how I expected that appointment to go Thursday night! She couldn't explain the spotting, but suggested it could be stuff left over from implantation or even the miscarriage. 

Now I just need to get through this first trimester. I have never been so tired in my entire life. I can barely function. If I am home with N on the weekend or a snow/sick day, I nap when he naps and he always wakes up first. Nothing is getting done around the house, and my work and school work are seriously slacking. Thankfully my boss knows about the pregnancy (I had to tell her when I called out the Friday I thought I was having a miscarriage) so she's going pretty easy on me. Also, I'm on vacation next week, so I'm really looking forward to napping for nine days straight. Florida, here we come!

[sweeterwithtwo]

Eeeek!

I'm pregnant! Monday night as I was putting on my pajamas, I noticed that my boobs hurt. Tender boobs are a big early pregnancy sign, but they are also a PMS symptom, so I tried not to get too excited. However, it's very rare that my boobs hurt before I get my period. In fact, the only time I can remember it happening was a time I was convinced I was pregnant because my boobs were hurting!

On Tuesday my boobs continued to hurt and my ear started popping a lot, just like it did in the third trimester with N. Both N and G are sick, so I definitely couldn't rule out that all the ear popping meant was that I was getting sick too. I decided I would take a test Wednesday morning.

By Tuesday evening though, I was dying to know if I was pregnant. So with N in the bathroom having an epic meltdown because I a) wouldn't let him have a cookie before dinner and b) wouldn't let him touch the used pregnancy test, I peed on a stick. Three minutes later, just as N was ending his tantrum and just as I was wondering if I really did want another kid, I saw the absolutely faintest  of positives!

G was working late, so I called him with the good news. (There was no way I could wait!) He was very happy, but pretty quickly started stressing about our housing situation. (It would be very difficult to fit another child in our two bedroom home.) I reminded him that we have plenty of time to figure it out. If we make it that far (fingers crossed!!) the due date would be early to mid October. 

Since the plus sign had been so faint on the test, I took another test this morning, and the line was much darker. With that affirmation, I decided to call my OB's office to make an appointment with the nurse practitioner. Since I don't have an accurate date of my last period with which to gauge the length of my pregnancy, the receptionist made the appointment for February 24! That's in less than three weeks! By my calculations I'll be barely 7 weeks by then, but that's okay with me! If I could get an ultrasound before we to go Florida in March, then I could share the good news with everyone on our trip! That would be really amazing timing. 

Cross all your fingers and toes!!

[sweeterwithtwo]

Still Nothing

I've felt like I am about to get my period for three weeks now. Still nothing. I guess it's safe to say the first day of my cycle must have been January 6, which means I should get my period around February 6. I really hope my next cycle is normal. This one has been terrible!

[sweeterwithtwo]

Negative

Pregnancy test was negative this morning. I can't say I'm surprised. I really don't think I ovulated this month. Still, I have no idea when my period will arrive. The internet isn't very helpful on this subject either. Some sites say most women don't ovulate the first month after a miscarriage, while other sites say women are more fertile for up to three months after a miscarriage. Some sites say I should start tracking my cycle on the first day of the miscarriage (Dec. 20), while others say I should start the day my hCG level gets to zero (Jan 6). I'm annoyed, and I really feel for women who don't have regular cycles and have to go through this not-knowing thing often. 

I guess I will continue to be bloated and crampy! Fun!