sweetmorn

[sweetmorn]

[sweetmorn]

whichever ad exec at Geico came up with the phrasing "up to 15% or more" needs some kind of award for concocting one of the most meaningless strings of words in the English language. all it guarantees is that the number is either lower or higher than 15%, inclusive. up to 15%... or more. a bladeless knife with no handle.

[sweetmorn]

I sometimes have a recurring dream about walking into target or w/e and finding bionicles on the shelf, and I recently learned that within the community of people who still like bionicles this is referred to as “The Dream” and happens to everyone

huh what huh. what. 

[sweetmorn]

[sweetmorn]

sorry for fucking up our conversation i had never had that one before

[sweetmorn]

fool me once kill yourself fool me twice kill yourself

[sweetmorn]

[sweetmorn]

Dude i think everything is smiling at me lol *looks back over shoulder* Everything is really going my way *looks back over other shoulder*

[sweetmorn]

[sweetmorn]

i think we need new types of sprees. i'm tired of shopping and killing

[sweetmorn]

sometimes you don't realize how much you like a character until they're killed, at which point you turn into a rabid animal and almost scream out loud at the audiobook at work

[sweetmorn]

I am going to kill [remembers suicide jokes are bad] a healthcare executive [remembers the fbi exists] haha just kidding [remembers that tumblr hates posers] but maybe I’m not [remembers The Alamo] The Alamo

[sweetmorn]

[sweetmorn]

my still-healing nostril piercing fell out last night and i was so terrified it was gonna close up that i called in to work today so i could go to the piercer asap. it was not closed! but it did hurt like a bitch to put back in 🥲 i am possibly god's strongest soldier ever

[sweetmorn]

With he’s friends

[sweetmorn]

what the fuck