swordofthegods-blog

[swordofthegods-blog]

Reasons HP is still around: people actually like it and can empathize with the characters who thrive and grow, changing over time in an immersive world.

Reasons Twilight and 50SoG are still around: Nothing can leave the internet once it's there... Nothing. Oh god, why?

Harry Potter belongs in the past too. That and Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey. Who the fuck keeps wanting these dumbass books back and wanting to expand the world? Let the shit die.

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NO YOU CANT DO THAT

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Shrek Assface

So I was DMing an impromptu game for a trio of friends and one of them was playing an Orc Barbarian named Shrek. This unfortunate character was rolling very poorly while the players tried to escape the cage they woke up in.

Orc: I want to kill myself on the bars of the cage.

DM: You sure? You could just try to break the bars with your face or something.

Orc: That’s a better idea! *Nat 1* Dammit!

DM: Shrek slams his face into the bars, losing his nose, a couple teeth, and one eye, taking damage. He also indented his face straight down the middle.

Human Rouge: So his face looks like an ass, now?

DM: You could say that.

Rouge: Assface! You’re Shrek Assface!

Somehow, Shrek took the name with pride.

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Barn Owls are THE BEST. They are in a separate family from all other North American owls, and instead of whoo hoooting they do the TV STATIC SCREAM FROM YOUR NIGHTMARES.

Gotta love the raptor presentations at the state parks! This was at Lockhart State Park tonight at our Master Naturalist meeting. These presenters rehabilitate injured birds of prey through Austin Wildlife Rescue (austinwildliferescue.org), an organization that always NEEDS VOLUNTEERS to help out with the adorable baby animals. If you’re in Central Texas, check them out!

June 18, 2018

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Pulled from my home inside a cloud, Lost to the dark I drift alone, Now I’ve returned beyond the shroud, Ever to reign upon my throne, Here in my Crystal Kingdom.

I saw beyond the omniverse, Far past the places we should see, But for my vision I was cursed, Torn from my home and family, Lost to my Crystal Kingdom.

Saved from the darkness by my child, Locked in a cage of glass and steel, But my true love remains in exile, Beckoning me to break the seal, Into this Crystal Kingdom.

Kept from our children, lovers, friends, Subject to laws we did not make, This is where separation ends, And souls of the lost will come awake, Enter this Crystal Kingdom.

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if you’re american and coming to australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100 percent way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here

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Reblog if you are a Hoennshipper.

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Start to Finish, Pokémon ORAS fanfiction

[[ Pairing: Brendan x May ]]

[[ Shut up okay the game got really cute for me towards the end of the game, especially once you beat the champion okay. Fic follows the rival’s perspective, which is Brendan’s in this case (since I played as a girl). Also, I took a bit of creative liberties with some of the scenes //shrugs. This is a long one I’m sorry ]]

Keep reading

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Reblog for fear of the baddest fish.

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Male Character in Any Media: *does one nice thing for a guy friend*

Tumblr: *breaths in* he heLLA GAAAAYYYY

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your crimes are known. the frog council sits in judgement.

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my parents aren’t teaching me life lessons.

#i need some adults to TEACH ME SHIT ABOUT LIFE

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You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs

but then suddenly ZOOP

fucking green herrons

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YO WRITERS

Stop what you’re doing right now and go write 3 sentences of your story.

Every time you see this, write 3 lines.

Reblog so other writers will do the same, let’s finish these damn stories.