sydffs-blog

[sydffs-blog]

text ✉ anyone

layla: can you pls come give me a massage

layla: or a back rub at least

layla: carrying a cello around all day hurts me :(

sydney: i'm assuming you play the cello and don't just carry it around for fun? although it'd be a good workout

sydney: i can give you a massage but i'd have to charge you

sydney: nobody gets these magic hands for free

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text: jordan

jordan: that's always a great option

jordan: youre welcome

jordan: i might. or i'd just live off all the money I've been saving and take an early retirement

sydney: it's alright for some isn't it?

sydney: i probably won't be retiring till i'm 65

sydney: i need my own reality show, jordan.

sydney: get ur fancy pants camera crew to follow me to my aa meetings. they'll capture some award winning stuff tbh

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text: chris (smartasS)

Chris: says who

Sydney: ur mother.

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text: jakey x

Jake: well.... that's good

Jake: thank u for believin in me

Sydney: if you say so

Sydney: you can do anything u put ur mind to

Sydney: just be on ur worst behaviour, i imagine ur v good at that ;)

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@sydmaxwell: I love james mcavoy. he's so confusing. why is his hair dark but his beard's ginger? what color are his pubes? weird

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text: chris (smartasS)

Chris: dont be mad over this, syd, not everyone can be as great as i am, i understand it

Sydney: i'm not mad. i'm infinitely greater than you. fact.

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text: chris (smartasS)

Chris: well i'm sorry i have some tact

Sydney: it would be more appropriate for you to apologise for your lack of a sense of humour

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Text || INSERT CHARACTERS NAME

nolan: how many tampons do you need?

nolan: there's a pack with 100 tampons will you need this many?

nolan: god please tell me you don't need this many

nolan: HOLY FUCK THERE ARE PACKS WITH MORE WTF

sydney: i don't need any but seeing as you're there get me the biggest pack you can find

sydney: you can never have too many tampons :)

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text: chris (smartasS)

Chris: isn't it like a common knowledge though

Sydney: i'm going to vote no

Sydney: we can't all be as smart as you bumblebee

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text: jordan

jordan: i think you need to share that the next time your allowed to a meeting

jordan: or become a stand up comedian to spite them

sydney: i'm hoping they never let me back tbh

sydney: that's the best career advice i have received in all my life

sydney: if your tv show goes tits up you can always become a careers advisor

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text: jakey x

Jake: well i mean you couLD be doing that

Jake: u went to court......

Sydney: i could but i am not

Sydney: i did, and you can too lil jakey xxxx

[sydffs-blog]

"Almost eaten by a shark? That has to be a sign of good luck, right? I mean, you weren't eaten by one; the gods are clearly on your side. If I were you I'd get myself a lottery ticket while your luck's in. I hope you get the part. Mostly so that I am one step closer to invading Tom Hardy's life, but also because you'll be great, and you deserve it. Tell me more about Australia. Are all Australians really hot or is it myth? Did you see any kangaroos?"

"So I had this really awesome audition for a small film in Australia and it was really hot and my mom really enjoyed herself apart from when that snake got into our pool and when I was almost eaten by a shark. I’m kinda now just waiting to hear back from them about it and I’d rather go swimming with the sharks again. But I mean, it’ll be totally awesome if I get it, I mean Tom Hardy’s gonna be in it, like the real Tom Hardy. I totally won’t get it though, I mean it’s me, I never get a lot of stuff. Sorry anyway, how are you?"

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"I don't know, if you tilt your head a little to the left, and squint, it could be considered slightly sexy. In either case, it shows that you have a cracking pair of legs, so the photographer clearly knew what he was doing."

"So then the photographer was like, “pose like your doing bicycles,” and I had to do this for a long time. Like, how is this sexy, much less appealing? I’m pretty sure I was so red in the face that I looked like a little strawberry, not even in the cute way that strawberries can look. So maybe more like a tomato, you know? Look, I already look red, huh."

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text: everyone

Jake: are u an alcoholic or....????????!!!!!

Sydney: no i just go to these meetings for fun

Sydney: they were court mandated. i am not an alcoholic

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text: everyone

aj: spike their drinks with vodka

aj: but hahahahah

sydney: you're a terrible influence

sydney: i would never do such a thing i am a complete angel

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text: everyone

Chris: did you really not know that

Chris: smh

Sydney: nobody taught me what is appropriate AA etiquette

Sydney: blame my parents

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text: everyone

Jordan: talk about no sense of humor at the group

Jordan: that's still awesome

Sydney: right?!

Sydney: i'm completely sick of those people ignoring how incredibly funny i actually am