sylrib

[sylrib]

22425

how terrifying it is to know every will, every want, every fear and cellulite curve of a perfect stranger. death to proximity, or death to myself - i hope one comes sooner than the other

do you see me, or am i an apparition floating in the rods and cones of your eyes? do you hear me when i speak, or am i the monotonous fuzz of the tinnitus in your ears? an everyday, ringing nuisance - is this all i'll ever be? will you please, please mold me into something more? or will you leave me as i am - watching from a distance, hoping that the ticking time bomb inside me won't vaporize us both?

the fibers of your sweater have fused to my skin and it feels like revenge - no matter how hard i scrub in the shower the itch and scratch of the knit never leaves. maybe in seven years when all my cells regenerate i'll finally rid myself of you, or maybe the fibers will be imprinted in my dna - replicating, replicating, replicating like cancer, unwilling to die, unwilling to grant mercy as if i was never destined to taste it a day in my life

don't leave flowers on my grave, instead, leave your hand prints in the dirt as you kneel to the earth - because no matter how much i'll try to quit you, i'll still need you around - like a prayer, like the fibers in my skin, like the leftover warmth from the life in your palms

[sylrib]

accidentally made her hair too long nd messed up the proportions broken heart emoji

holy trash

[sylrib]

[sylrib]

bullets-era shitty bleached mohawk Frank makes me want to eat glass

[sylrib]

21425

on this valentine i write to you in blood - soaking my ink into the pink lace trim. i write and i write until i feel dizzy and anemic, shaking and dehydrated, having too little words in my head for everything i want to say to you

i'll leave footprints in the snow and crimson splattered across the ice as i slide it through your mailbox, hoping you'll feel the heat of the kiss i pressed against the seal of the envelope with your fingertips. hoping you'll kiss me back. hoping you'll pin this part of me on the wall above your bed, reading my manifesto every night before you sleep

i call, but you don't - won't - answer. on one hand, i'm clueless as to why i try. on the other, i know i won't stop. some part of me still believes that i'll finally get to hear your voice, tiny and crackly, on the other end - audible breaths, soft laughter, your smile infecting your inflection

and some part of me still believes that i'll wake up to a valentine in my mailbox, too, stained with your lips on the seal, streaks of iron-scented ink in your handwriting, and the scent of your clothes after you've worn them

i'd pin it above my bed - read it, touch it, stuff it in my shirt when i go out - and hope that i'll see you around

[sylrib]

[sylrib]

[sylrib]

[sylrib]

[sylrib]

21125

they say even a positive thing could turn negative if consumed in excess - if that's true then why does it always feel so good to overindulge, even if i know i'm towing the line between composure and irreversible obsession?

every second you give me is a blessing from the heavens and i scoop them all in my arms and sleep with them next to me in my bed at night. sometimes you're there too, sometimes you're not - i count my blessings when i feel your soft breaths at the back of my neck because i know that by the time i wake up they won't be there anymore

i prayed for the first time in years last night. a rosary built from wooden beads and childhood guilt rested between my palms and the jewels of the cross imprinted their shape into my skin. with every word i thought of you, and i kept going and going, even though i was certain that god had turned his back on me far before i'd gotten the chance to finish - maybe it's for the better that my pleas fell on deaf ears anyway - maybe i should learn to keep my mouth shut more often - maybe i should learn to quit while i'm ahead

but i'm a fucking addict, honey, and once an addict - always an addict

[sylrib]

[sylrib]

⋆｡°✩ intro

i'm sylve (or syl)! they/them, 20yrs

⋆｡°✩ i love!

~writing (there will be lots of my original work here)

~drawing (traditional artist representation)

~music/film/anime/tv (media consumers rise up)

~fashion (massive enjoyer of decade/subculture-specific stuff)

⋆｡°✩ about the blog!

~my posts will most likely be half original writing half reblogging interests!!!

~in my writing, i often explore mature-ish themes (nothing extremely graphic or anything!!!!) so please, if you do not like mentions of blood/sex/general thoughts that come from an adult's brain, click away!

~generally, this blog is here to be a creative outlet for me and a way to lurk and indulge in my interests so i apologize in advance if i am not very social! i don't mean any harm by it whatsoever

⋆｡°✩ thank you for reading! :o)

[sylrib]

21025

dirty converse, rubber wristbands and wet hot summer nights - the air smelled like sugar sweet snowcones and fireworks. cherry red on your tongue and drip stains on your shirt and holes in the knees of your jeans - not ones you bought from the store but ones from living

your neighbor would tag along with her little pixie cut and freckles like mine and she's all i wanted to be

freedom was the word of the wise and we ran like comets with orange-yellow blazes making trails through the streets, like the firecracker you traced in the wind, like the lighter you always kept in your pocket, tucked in your pack of cigarettes you hid from your parents

all your magazines and myspace glamour and the way you lived your life - reckless and young and not like me, not quiet, smashing through the midnight stillness like a charging bull

and sometimes i'd watch through the window, from a passing car, a fleeting moment, and dream that i could go back again

[sylrib]

Mikey

[sylrib]

This edit literally pushed me over the edge he's so wife

(NOT MY EDIT --- courtesy of @/bitinggerard on tik tok)

[sylrib]

actual cinema

what is the best mcr mv and why it's ghost of you?

[sylrib]