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[systlin]

[systlin]

i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

go forth now with this butter secret

[systlin]

Who ever decided to region lock dvds, I fucking hate you

[systlin]

oftentimes when you look back on media you enjoyed as a child it's like hello why did they let a 14 year old fight a dragon? but star wars holds up. luke is 19. his reaction to losing his whole family is to say "alright, let's do this. I'm gonna learn to meditate and hire a sexy drug dealer and his friend who's a furry to be my uber across the galaxy so I can blow up a fascist government" that's something only a 19 y/o would do

[systlin]

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

[systlin]

“Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority” and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person” and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.”

—

stimmyabby

source: https://web.archive.org/web/20150404010354/http://stimmyabby.tumblr.com/post/115216522824/sometimes-people-use-respect-to-mean-treating

[systlin]

[systlin]

everyone knows that space is very very cold, and the sun is very very hot. so i assume there's a bit of space kind of near the sun which is just right. balmy space

[systlin]

[systlin]

i don't know if you still use tumblr, but do you still support Kiva as a donation site? There's been some rumors about misappropriation of donated funds and I can't seem to find more when I google about it.

I haven't used it in a long time because of this actually

[systlin]

Listen. If you take away the bountiful grain mother harvest goddess from farming people, we start getting weird and making her up again anyway.

See attacking Iowa for its lack of hills is so dumb when the crazy amount of pesticide use and its influence on less regulations in environmental policy is right there (no hate to you)

No no, you're right.

But we DO have the Titty Out Civil War Union monument, so there are good aspects

[systlin]

Technically it is a statue of Iowa personified as a young mother nourishing the union with the milk of liberty for all.

See attacking Iowa for its lack of hills is so dumb when the crazy amount of pesticide use and its influence on less regulations in environmental policy is right there (no hate to you)

No no, you're right.

But we DO have the Titty Out Civil War Union monument, so there are good aspects

[systlin]

Y'know. The tits out for crushing the Confederacy statue. That we have on our state capital building.

See attacking Iowa for its lack of hills is so dumb when the crazy amount of pesticide use and its influence on less regulations in environmental policy is right there (no hate to you)

No no, you're right.

But we DO have the Titty Out Civil War Union monument, so there are good aspects

[systlin]

Before everybody realized it was really dumb and didn't work, there was a short period of time where cavalry in full plate armor rode into battle with a carbine and a sword. Historians widely regard this era as "rad as hell" and describe the tactic as "totally fucking sick, like, holy shit, could you imagine?"

[systlin]

I MADE AN UNHOLY SOUND

I'm making a JACKET and it's going to have ANTIQUE MOTHER OF PEARL BUTTONS and it's going to look INCREDIBLE

I fucking love weird little local thrift shops

Absolutely unreal price for antique mother of pearl buttons.

[systlin]

She's so comfortable tho how can you move her!!!!

You know I paid for this bed, right?

.....

.....

I'll just edge in on the 3 square inches on the side