#//I KNOW IM... NEVER ACTIVE HERE

[quirinah]

the new animate cafe collab promo art. never kill yourself

[olgipolgi]

Haven't met many weirdos like you 🐈

[nehezt]

Just realized that I never explicitly mentioned it in this blog, so here goes: I have multiple sclerosis, which means that I'm susceptible to a lot of health problems like muscle pain, inflammations, fatigue, brain fog and a bunch of other symptoms. On top of that, the treatment for it intentionally makes my immune system weaker, which means I'm more prone to getting sick.

For the past almost two months I've been mildly to severely sick, with different illnesses, one after the other, back to back. I have not been able to work on updating Traces of Spring, or any of my other projects, because I have a chronic illness that makes my life unreasonably difficult. I understand none of you have bad intentions but I'll ask that you stop asking me when I'm going to update. I don't know. Everytime I set a deadline, my body decides to play very petty and cruel games with me and I'm out of comission for 2+ weeks. In this scenario I'm going to prioritize my health instead of working on a comic none of you are paying me to do. If any of you ask me in the future, you will either be directed to this post or ignored.

Thank you.

[noiseemaster]

what if starlo was named freaklo and he was freaky

lineless

[0ffthel1ne]

I dunno what have I done and why. No idea what to say.

My though t process during listening to butcher vanity once again was "Oh, funny, they both have caps. Hm. And the hunger part seems to fit kinda? Hmmmm........ Mmm..." all while having that ↑ look on my face

[courtillyy]

i dont talk about him much but i really do fucking love chilled. like the way he isn't afraid to talk to anyone and will just do bits with people he doesn't know is both a joy to watch and a quality I admire so much about a person.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

Signal of me with a sappy post after being gone for a long while, don't read it if you don't want to feel depressed

It's been a while since I've written something here honestly. I've been thinking more and more about Atsushi lately. The more time passes, the harder it is to accept that he has passed.

I've been wishing for him to come back. Anywhere I go, whatever I see, it reminds me of him. I know he spoke so much about mortality, despite him being afraid of death, he made sure we wouldn't be so scared.

I know he is Immortal, he is never truly gone. But I want to see him more. I want to see the world being kinder to him. He has suffered so much, I wish he could have had the rest he needed before his final sleep.

I can't stop crying. Ever since march hit I can not stop crying every single day. It's got to a point when I cry during work, in school, from seemingly out of nowhere. I tried not listening to BT to not trigger these emotions, but I feel even worse. Acchan's voice makes me so so so sad, but so so so comfortable. I cannot stop listening to BT because their music is the only reason I'm still here. No matter how much it hurts, I can't stop. But the more time passes, the more it hurts.

Reminding myself of seeing Hizumi more, his grey hairs, his smile, wrinkles. Seeing more of his beautiful lyrics, his charming voice, shy demeanor. The more I think about it, the more I despise how cruel this world is. But I know it's also so so beautiful.

I would not trade a single second of my life since the time I've found their music. It has been the fucking happiest I've ever felt, and I would never, ever, ever, ever wish for anything more. I keep thinking I wish I'd found them sooner. It's so so selfish of me, but I know, had I found them sooner, I wouldn't have suffered so much. I could have made more happy memories with the band, and maybe they could've been more overpowering than the immense feelings of grief I feel with every passing day.

I just don't want to accept this reality. And I have no idea what to do with it. This feeling, has absolutely no place to go. I try to express it in art, in my words, but it does not ease.

I've never met a person in my life I've admired so much. And not just for his physical appearance, or talent. But for the fact that he was so ridiculously human yet alien at the same time, no matter what happened to him. He was so vulnerable yet so otherworldy still. He made me see what humanity really is.

The ridiculous amount of love his spirit possessed and delivered to us through his music, his stories, characters, made me appreciate that I was alive.

Instead of hiding his humanity, including the dirty, nasty, vulnerable parts of it, he exposed it to the whole world to see, to feel seen.

It's as if for us, the regular people, to understand life more clearly, he sacrificed himself over and over on that stage. He lived a thousand lives at once. And by that, he helped thousands to live just one.

What I really want to say with this, I don't know. I just hate this world without you. You are probably able to rest now, but I wish it wouldn't have been so soon. I don't think I'll ever find anyone in my life half as beautiful as you.

I wish the whole world to see your beauty. But I want to see it too. It's just hard. I wish you'd still be here dear. I cried at least 4 times today. The flowers, that I included as the first picture, represent you and the way you shone light to many people's dark world.

By seeing you bloom, the small, insignificant, nameless flowers around you are beginning to slowly find their footing as well.

I just so, so wish we wouldn't have to do that without you. It feels like losing a parent, coming from someone who has lost a parent. How does one guide through life without the help of a guardian?

Of course, his guidance is still present. I know. But I can't help it. I feel like the hole in my soul grows deeper and darker. I don't want to ever forget you. I wish sometimes life would've taken me instead.

I love you dear Acchan. Lately, I feel incapable of promising you to continue living.

I just really, really don't know how to fill in this space you left here. The world is as dark and cruel as it ever was. Maybe you are lucky you don't have to witness all of this. But still...

I miss you so so so so much. I don't want to live my life without you. I wish I could've found you sooner. I'm repeating myself. But our time together was far too short. I don't feel unlucky, because I still got to meet you.

I just did not want to let you go. Buck-Tick as a whole finally felt like something I can hold onto. Something I can call "mine". I'll do that as long as I can. But your absence is felt really strongly. I wish you'd come back.

Love you

[dailyhtfboards]

Day 47

Today’s board is:

It’s been so long since we’ve had a Giggles board!! Here she is, quite well rested.

(From TV episode 12A I’ve Got You Under my Skin)

[sodrippy]

ohhh so maybe i Did experience that thing they always talk about where kids are always on alert and stressed bc of emotional volatility in a house.....huh

[pupuseriazag]

Istg if I see any more gringos say they're going to boycott salvadorean produce to ""show bukele and trump whose who""

[jils-things]

happy mothers day to my first and best momma concept ever designed 💚💚

[julla]

briefly scrolled though the bigbang subreddit like recommended and - true, it definitely is active! which is fun. one of the first things i saw is that someone got into listening gd bc they knew him from the shoe world 😭😭 i mean that's just amazing lmao

[ordi3nary]

ermmm some doodles i did during class (ive been playing a bunch of regretrevator lately with friends)

[animusbell]

elemental is a decent movie and also there's romance in it for some reason

[sweetevoltrap]

Sylus reclaiming Little Bomb as a teasing nickname...

[tenshindon]

morning campers i think ill be mad about the goku black arc's ending until i die actually