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meibywabie · 1 year ago

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Xie Lian isn’t a hero.

I started with TGCF first when I was introduced to danmei, and I was floored by what I read. It wasn’t just boys kissing in ancient china, it was actually about human tragedy and the selfishness of the omnipotent.

The theme of TGCF doesn’t revolve around XL alone. It’s much bigger than that. This isn’t a ‘TGCF is better’ post, but rather, TGCF is different. And it’s different because Xie Lian isn’t a typical human hero.

XL is not a heroic character like WWX, and he isn’t a sarcastic/comedic relief hero like SQQ. And it isn’t because of their personalities. XL is just as selfless as WWX and just as unreasonably punished as both other MC’s. However, when bad things happen to WWX, you know it’s because of his personality. Because of his kindness, his confidence, his wit. It’s simply BECAUSE it’s WWX as the protagonist.

Same with SVSSS. That story couldn’t have happened without Shen Yuan in SQQ’s body. Like we never would have gotten that level of sarcasm, pity, and empathy. And the novel tells you that repeatedly. Everything that happens in the previous two novels does so because of who the main character is.

But when things happen in TGCF, XL isn’t even the center of the conflict. It’s almost always someone else’s fault, someone else’s business, or someone else’s issue he just happens to be present for. But somehow, it always comes back to him. It’s always his job to resolve things.

Unlike WWX, the conflict isn’t his fault. WWX actively pushes the narrative with his actions. He drives the conflict and later becomes it. Whether he’s at fault or not is the point of his story, but for XL, he’s really just incredibly unlucky. He’s tragic in the sense that he’s just being fucked over by everyone in his life. For what? For being…wonderful!?

I absolutely love that his one little phrase pissed off the evil emperor of heaven. Like his mere existence is a problem.

It’s an incredible piece of writing that the things that get him into trouble are his altruism. Altruism that is fitting for someone who thinks himself a GOD. But also, altruism that many of us mortals share.

Why CANT he save his people if he’s a god? Why CANT he answer everyone’s prayers? Why is he not good enough or strong enough to resolve this conflict if he’s literally a GOD.

XL is constantly facing issues and asking questions that humanity itself has asked.

Why isn’t god answering me, why isn’t god helping me, why do we have a god at all? TGCF has a commentary that doesn’t limit itself to just XL and the type of person he is in the way that MDZS relies on WWX and SVSSS relies on SQQ.

Those novels are how most novels typically function. You choose a specific type of human and see the world through their eyes.

But XL isn’t human. Not in the way he acts nor in the way he tells this story. He tells you everything he witnesses and it barely affects him anymore. He just has some wise thoughts about what everything means.

But TGCF isn’t asking: what would happen if a kind prince ascended to godhood?

Instead—

TGCF begs the question:

What if you told the story of humanity, not through the eyes of a human, but through the eyes of god.

Xie Lian is god.

XL is 800yrs old, has lived through countless tragedies, celebrations, friendships, betrayals, and he ascends. Again.

He’s been stuck with the burden of immortality and now he’s re entering the place that gave him that burden. He walks into heaven to see new gods, but the same old problems. And the whole vibe he has in this is less benevolent and wonderful and more like a fed up mom who’s tired of seeing the girls fighting.

He sits back and watches these issues devolve and shuffles his way into the conflict by accident. Because he’s the only one competent enough to do anything about it.

XL doesnt react like a human being, at the start of the current timeline, he’s a god.

He’s an 800yr old god. He’s seen everything, learned everything.

We see this prince who thinks himself a god then become one. And instead of learning what it means to be a god so he can help the common man— he learns what it means to be a common man so he can become a real god.

XL goes through HELL. He loses countless times, is left, betrayed, ruined, trampled, destroyed. He is constantly being thwarted by not just people but the very gods he worshipped and the god he himself became. But again— XL isn’t even that big of a personality for us to cling to that alone and see how these things happened to him??

He isn’t boasting about how great he is out of pride and ego, he isn’t rampaging or going mad with power, he isn’t a huge character. But his lack of those qualities is what triggers Jun Wu to ruin him. He wants to see him go crazy, wants to see him struggle. Wants to see his ego and pride. And he’s not the only one!!!

Mu Qing is also incredibly jealous, so are the other gods!!! And Qi Rong, his own family!!! His parents even get upset with him for not doing enough. Everyone saw this kid blessed with so much and started wishing for him to break. And they succeed. He goes insane, he starts killing, he starts wanting to die, he starts losing faith.

But MAN it is just so gorgeous to me that this character is almost…forced to be a main character? Forced to suffer, forced to make mistakes, forced to be a problem. He is so powerful and smart and incredible and then he is made to believe he is nothing. Here is this god who has been forced to feel HUMAN.

And once he finally feels that way, once he finally falls to the ground and loses everything, someone comes by and offers his hat.

And that’s all it takes for a man to truly become a god.

TGCF asks what if you told a story through the eyes of god? It shows you this guy sighing through drama and fixing peoples problems.

And then it goes back and tells you: What makes a man, god?

And we read all of XL’s history. His victories and failures. And it perfectly describes how he’s ascended again. Not out of heroics this time. But out of his pure humanity.

God is a kind, gentle, but confident man who wanders around helping who he can and opening his doors to those who wish to come in. He resolves the conflicts he’s there for, and takes note of those he wasn’t there for. He trudges along holding no grudges and sighing when people make mistakes. He loves selflessly and holds no judgment. He feels strange letting people take care of him but he will take care of you. When he can, and when he has the chance, he will take care of you.

XL is almost born with every book definition of what a god is: kind, selfless, strong, and true. But his story forces him to learn how to be human instead. To fail, die, love, kill and suffer. And when that god was beaten and broken, he was saved by one thing. A human.

That’s how you become a god. And that’s what it means to be one. To be human. To be a good person.

XL couldn’t have been a WWX. He couldn’t have been a staple protagonist with a heart of gold, wit and passion. He couldn’t have had a story with everyone’s conflict directly tied to him and because of him. That isn’t what TGCF is for.

It isn’t about XL himself. It’s about god. It explores the selfishness that comes with immortality, and the selflessness that comes with mortality.

There are other aspects that make it a nice protag story. He falls in love, he’s kinda air headed and sassy. He did have the character and maturity to choose to become a wonderful godlike person but that’s a post for another day. But honestly, if this were a regular novel, it probably would’ve been about Hua Cheng. He lives for love and passion and devotion. He kills and saves and sacrifices, he denies godhood and wins the girl in the end. Now THATS a hero.

But XL isn’t a hero. He’s a god.

MXTX wrote a story that wasn’t about a sheepish prince who lost it all, but instead wrote a story about gods and humans. She wrote what reads like a Greek epic to me. With such hard comments on morality and cruelty. She really hit me with everything I love about literature. And yes I do love MDZS and SVSS but TGCF is different.

Like guoshi said: the gods are human, after all. But XL above them all, is most definitely a god.

#im honestly pretty sure if Jun Wu hadn’t ruined XL’s life he woudlve become like LQQ and been a little stupid LMAO #Jun Wu could never #TGCF #heaven official's blessing #heaven officials blessing #hob #hualian #xie lian

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filmmakersvision · 7 months ago

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Best of 2024: Favorite Tamil Films

January 9, 2025

by Inakshi Chandra-Mohanty

1. Vaazhai

It is impossible to speak of the power of Vaazhai without revealing essential details, yet it will be a disservice to the audience to speak of the story without allowing everyone to experience it. Though it is not a suspenseful film, certain riveting elements and character arcs are best felt than described. This dramatic tale of a poor child laborer who oscillates between innocent play in school and the rugged nature of lugging work is both heartfelt and tragic. Sivanaindhan’s story emphasizes a fractured childhood, the burden of reality over aspirations, and a loss of innocence at far too young an age.

This film seems to be writer-director Mari Selvaraj’s most personal work as it contains fragments of his own childhood. His brilliant use of atmospheric elements, repetitive frames, and a larger than life musical score, makes us truly experience the tragedy of thousands of young boys around the country, who are burdened by similar circumstances. By the end of the film, with our guts wrenched and our hearts full, we count ourselves fortunate, that we never had to live such a painful childhood.

2. Kottukkaali

Kottukkaali, translated as The Adamant Girl, is about Meena, one such stubborn girl paraded across an obstacle ridden journey in an attempt to extinguish her love for a lower caste boy, or as her family members put it, the ‘evil spirit’ that has overtaken her body. This neo-realist film, directed by P.S. Vinotharaj of Koozhangal fame, doesn’t strive to make a point. Instead, it centers on introspection, using cinematic metaphors and character tropes to highlight regressive practices, female entrapment, and fragile masculinity. Whether it is Meena’s position reflected by a caged rooster, or a meandering bull the cowardly men are unable to drive away taken with ease by a little girl, or the gross invasiveness of an exorcism, there are many such thought-provoking moments.

The film’s purpose is to appeal to the audience. Rather than deliver a message itself, it allows us to make the decision of what path these characters will take, hoping that maybe the frustration of what we are witnessing, will convince us to take a step away from patriarchal norms. We are drawn into this uncomfortable environment with only one escape: our own sense of morality.

3. Lubber Pandhu

Cricket rivalry. Ego tussles. Intertwined romance. Intense drama. Lubber Pandhu is a complete package, an amalgamation of different genres, a thorough massy entertainer. Yet, it is so far removed from the typical content that emerges from Tamil mainstream cinema. It contains real characters, empathetic relationships, and a pinch of ridiculousness. The story follows Anbu and Gethu two cricket stars from different towns as they regularly engage in conflict to outmatch one another. This struggle is further complicated by their romantic involvements, ultimately forcing them to make choices that determine the value of family, love, and cricket in their lives.

Despite being a film centered around the fragility of the male ego, the strong women and their bond with the men are the greatest appeal. Yasodhai and Durga aren’t just typical love interests, they are the anchors for these hypermasculine men in their pursuit of success. That combined with the crackling chemistry and angsty passion these couples present on screen makes the film an enjoyable experience. The story also places a subtle emphasis on caste differences. It refrains from revolving primarily around discrimination, by showing that while Anbu’s caste has held him back, it is not his identity. We see Anbu as a human being, far before we are made aware that he is from a lower caste. With this slight social commentary amidst a plethora of fun characters, crisp comedy, lovable relationships, and obsessive competition, Lubber Pandhu will leave you with a satisfied smile on your face.

4. Maharaja

Storytelling is the hero in this ludicrous film about a barber attempting to retrieve his stolen dustbin. A seemingly wafer-thin plot morphs into a suspenseful, complex narrative, courtesy masterful writing and brilliant direction. Despite comprising of a few cliched tropes and predictable turns, Maharaja is a sharply executed action thriller that uses non-linear elements to repackage its typical content. The story is about far more than a man’s obsession with a decrepit object, but our ability to decipher this puzzle hinges on neatly placed visual clues and smart narrative progression.

Fresh off the heels of his debut Kurangu Bommai, writer-director Nithilan Saminthan again proves his expertise in manipulation. By creatively weaving together parallel tracks and multiple timelines, he takes the audience on a mind-boggling ride. But the manipulation isn’t just relegated to the plot. It is also present in the emotions. He gets us intensely invested in the titular character and his pursuit for justice even when we aren’t privy to the backstory, and Vijay Sethupathi’s stellar performance gives the character an additional genuineness that resonates with us. Overall, Maharaja is a delightful experience that shows how good storytelling can convert even the simplest of plots into an ingenious film.

5. Amaran

Unlike the majority of army-based biopics that foreground the main character’s journey through his actions and achievements, Amaran is about the person behind the uniform. The husband, the father, the son, the brother, the friend, the leader. Major Mukund Varadarajan isn’t just a national hero, he’s all these as well. Narrated from the perspective of his wife, Indu, this wholesome biopic regales his real-life story by showing us who he is in her eyes. It’s the Indian audiences’ favorite blend of patriotism and emotional drama, balancing his heroic encounters with the relatable, humane aspects of his character.

The most memorable moments in the film are not those where he conducts the intense operations he was hailed for, but those where he is his light-hearted pleasant self, smiling while listening to his daughter’s voice on the way to an attack, sleeping with his wife on a video call, sharing a comedic camaraderie with his army mates, or presenting his parents with a new home. Actor, Sivakarthikeyan, in one of his best performances, deserves credit for the ease with which he shifts between the serious, tough demeanor of Mukund – the squadron leader, and the caring smiles, soft voice of Mukund – the husband and father. Through all these empathetic moments, writer-director Rajkumar Periasamy does a terrific job weaving together an extremely personal story of love, hope, and triumph. For those of us that get exhausted by apathetic action sequences that army films typically rely on, this is a refreshing change. Amaran is truly a heartfelt ode to a national hero, who is first and foremost, a good human being.

6. Meiyazhgan

Just like C. Prem Kumar’s previous directorial venture, 96, Meiyazhagan has little plot development with a heavy reliance on the chemistry between the lead characters. The only difference, in 96 this bond is a teenage romance, and in Meiyzhagan it is a youthful bromance. The story follows Arul’s return to his hometown 22 years after he was forced to leave and his overnight interactions with a distant relative he fails to recognize. It is a heartwarming journey as Arul revisits forgotten memories and rediscovers his old self in this mysterious stranger.

The entire impact of the film hinges on the believability of the friendship between these two opposing personalities. How do a full of life stranger and a lifeless Arul find comfort and ease in conversation with one another? This is only possible due to brilliant situational dialogue writing and powerful performances. Karthi with his exuberance and Arvind Swamy with his calmness fully imbibe the contrasting nature of this delicate relationship. There is a certain simplicity and grounded-ness in their subtle acting that make the characters relatable, and their discussions flow as smoothly as a stream of water. Meiyazhagan brings out a tearful empathetic nostalgia and it’s clear that it is a film made from the heart.

#bestof2024 #tamil cinema #vaazhai #lubber pandhu #kottukkaali #maharaja #amaran #meiyazhagan

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seraphcelene · 1 year ago

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IWTV S2E4 - I Want You More Than Anything in the World

There are games being played.

Let's talk about Louis -- how he's been transformed from the melancholy, self-flagellating moral mess to almost equal parts temper and angst, ever balanced between joy and hope and rage.

I can't compare this series to the books because it is a different beast altogether, and I LOVE the changes.

There is something sinister and beautiful in the way that IwtV has turned gender politics on its head. Queer love is centered and the vulnerability of emotion demanded of women in depictions of romantic relationships gets equal demand in the male leads. That is wildly true of the novels and makes for a welcome shift in the way that men are portrayed on screen. Armand's NEED oozes out of his eyes when he's with Louis. He is so in love. He also opens a vein describing his life before vampirism. It's a narrative that typically frames womanhood -- objectified, sexualized, enslaved and without agency. Then there's Louis grief, guilt, and unrequited love for Lestat, a force in every scene Jacob Anderson is in.

The commentary on how women fit and are objectified within society are there too. Madeline's shunning after her affair with a young German solider is explained in equally by "patriotism" and loose morals (she is slut shamed). Claudia's infantilization, at complete odds with how she sees herself and wants to be seen is horrifying. Her "maman" in the play makes a comment about Baby Lulu distracting her father so that he keeps his hands off her (the mother). It's coarse theater, of course, and it's meant to be a purple comment that suggests and titillates. It is also, to a modern audience, or at least this person as audience, horrifying. It reminded me immediately of how women are portrayed as objectified stand ins to attract the male gaze. Claudia's debasement, sexualized infant for the mortals and walking ridicule as blasphemy to the immortals, is a game, a show and a joke for everyone. That girl is going to break. Her developing relationship with Madeline is the closest depiction of normalcy and something she craves and has craved since she accidentally ate that boy back in Season 1.

It all makes an interesting comment on power structure. Who has it, who doesn't, who wants it, who doesn't. Season 1 sets Louis as the beta to Lestat's alpha. It makes sense. Lestat is a natural born alpha, but Louis as a beta is a little sleight of hand. Yes with Lestat, but as is increasingly more obvious absolutely not with Armand. Louis even reminds us that he is good at running things.

I'd argue that Armand was never really an alpha vampire. He holds the coven because his dark gifts are strong enough to allow him to, but not because anyone is particularly afraid or in awe of him. It makes Louis and Armand as a coven of two an interesting question. @lynnenne has posited that Louis is the one in control. I find that idea deliciously fascinating and more likely as we're watching the events of the past. But because this is still a story of unreliable narrator's, I have to question the truth. Is he? or isn't he?

Louis dresses his disdain and his resistance to emotional intimacy in Lestat's figure. He holds on to him as armor to hold off real emotional attachment even as he stares lovingly into Armand's face in the present and declares that he loved him even back them. I don't know that him letting go of Lestat in the rain (SO FUCKING SAD AND OH!) was about him deciding to be in love so much as it is about him deciding to let go of guilt and fear so that he can move forward. Lestat was his past. Running the theater could be his future and it would be to protect Claudia as much as it would be to protect Armand.

But again … what of this story is real? Daniel's migraines, the reemerging memories of San Francisco that are very much centered around what looks like Armand playing mind games.

Little things I loved about this episode:

Madeline and Claudia in the shop and the way that Claudia is lamenting that she is a vampire and Madeline is dinner

"Go sit in your choice, sister." - That fight was epic and hurtful and real. Both of them abandoned in different ways.

Claudia calling Armand on his shit. She is Lestat's daughter for sure. She doesn't give a fuck about the rituals and the rules. Claudia is looking for a space to belong in, but it has to be shaped for her and according to her rules. Anything else will chafe.

"The wilderness that is our daughter."

Louis letting Lestat go is one of the saddest thing ever. The music is a slightly discordant, manipulative goodbye in this very constructed story reflecting a very constructed end between Louis and Lestat. I love the way that Louis makes Lestat say apple and then apple in French as proof that he is just a figment of his imagination because Lestat is never that accommodating. "There isn't going to be a hunt, is there?" And then he is washed away by the rain.

#interview with the vampire #television #amc iwtv #iwtv s2

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semper-legens · 3 months ago

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54. #DRCL, by Shinichi Sakamoto

Owned?: No, library Page count: 241 My summary: Mina Murray is the only girl in her school. Among her friends are Luke Westenra, Joe Suwa, Arthur Holmwood, and Quincey Morris - well, friends might be a strong word. They pick on her for being a woman, for being weaker, for not being one of them. But when the ship Demeter runs aground on Whitby's shore and Luke starts acting strangely…that's when Mina has to take action. My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

This was a weird one. 'Oh?' I hear you cry. 'It's a manga adaptation of Dracula, how strange can that be?' Well, Mina Harker's a teenage wrestler from Lancashire (yay, Lancastrians represent!), Lucy Westenra is a boy who turns into a girl when asleep (and also a vampire), Renfield is a nun that Joe keeps in his attic, and Dracula itself is some kind of viral infection rather than a person. Among other things. It's bizarre as an adaptation, but incredibly compelling in other ways. Some of the adaptational changes are really interesting - the equivalent character for Jack Seward is the Japanese Joe Suwa, and Quincey Morris is African-American, lending the story some diversity. Luke/Lucy can be read as a trans woman in the same regard, though that's not without its issues given her abrasive personality and the whole, you know, vampirism thing. I like how spunky Mina is, and how physically capable (she is proficient in the Lancashire-derived catch-as-catch-can style of wrestling, for…some reason), even if the story falls into some obvious traps for modern writers talking about Victorian women and Victorian sensibilities.

I'd also be remiss to talk about this without at least mentioning the art, which is gorgeous. It's still in a manga style, but there's an additional rendering of detail and realism present which is beautiful, and particularly comes into play in the more surreal scenes, such as Lucy coming to Mina at night and them dancing together. Or in the opening sequence, where the Demeter is plagued by a mysterious infection that leaves none alive. This doesn't make up for the main problem I have with the story, however, which is that it's too disjointed. Even allowing for the fact that it is told in a different order to the source material, the story jumps between different characters and ideas and doesn't always congeal into a cohesive whole. It was difficult at times to understand what was actually going on, and that hampered my enjoyment of the book which, when it worked, it really worked. It's a shame, but I don't think I'll be seeking out the later volumes of this book. It's just too…odd.

Next, the Black history of Britain.

#DRCL Midnight Children #Shinichi Sakamoto #book blog #book blogger #bookblr

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dimonds456 · 1 year ago

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The Hunger Games: a fictitious prophetic reflection of current reality

Just got done watching Mockingjay: Part 2, and... holy shit.

Watching it with the context of what's happening in Palestine is so difficult. There's one scene in particular where bombs are dropped on Capitol civilians, but it was disguised as aid. And the whole time I was sitting there like, "this is what the flour massacre was like. This is what it's like every time Palestinians have to swim out to sea to get food, knowing that if the water doesn't kill them, the snipers will."

In Part 1, as well, the Capitol specifically targets and bombs a hospital, killing all the survivors inside. I need not explain the parallels of this one to anyone who has even been slightly paying attention. It's horrific, but horribly accurate to reality.

It's the main reason I decided to rewatch the Hunger Games in the first place, cuz I kept thinking about that scene. Now that we got there, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to rewatch that scene again without thinking about Palestine.

There is a dark, poetic irony to the movie adaptations. Jennifer Lawrence, the girl who plays Katniss, is a Zionist, while Donald Sutherland, the guy who played President Snow, was an activist who was very pro-Palestine. The whole reason he took the role was to help inspire young people to stand up to authority. He's dead now, but I know he'd be disappointed in the world today. He'd be vocally cheering Palestine on.

Sutherland understood the Games and their real life symbolic meaning instinctively. So did the filmmakers. Watching this made me start to really wonder about Jlaw. How can you play Katniss and portray her so perfectly, and not get the fucking message of the film? How can you act in a scene where a bunch of children get killed, reaching their arms up for aid, only to get blown up in a trap, and not understand that doing that is pure evil? It's baffling.

But aside from that. I'm in tears. This movie is not an easy watch anymore. There is deeper symbolism here present only in retrospect that makes it near impossible to just turn your brain off and enjoy it. That's what I came back to understand; how war and oppression function on a personal level. That's the power of movies. They can place you directly in the middle of a war and show you exactly the cost. And the Hunger Games does that perfectly.

With all the pictures and videos coming out of both Palestine and Israel, with Netanyahu treating it like one big "self defense" act to win people over, to "punish" Hamas... The parallels to the Games are too strong. Too real. Especially considering the original novels were meant to be a commentary on our collective desensitization to violence.

Don't be desensitized. Stand for what's right. That's literally the message of these films, and it rings true now more than ever.

If you find yourself becoming desensitized to the horrific images coming out of Palestine, I honestly recommend watching Mockingjay Part 2 again (or the whole series if you haven't seen it). By being on a personal, intimate level, it helps destroy that and reconnects you to reality. That's the power of fiction.

To any Zionist reading this: you are saying that they were right to drop those bombs on those Capitol kids. Because that literally happened. The Flour Massacre happened, SEVERAL times. Children are dying due to dismemberment, disease, hunger, and explosions. Adults struggle to keep themselves and their kids alive. Except it's not fiction. It's real.

It is our duty to stand up for what's right, to defy authority, and to fight for freedom until everyone is free. That's why President Coin also had to die. She was symbolic of a new era of oppression. And that isn't right. It never was, and it never will be.

Free Palestine.

#the hunger games #mockingjay #free palestine #stand with palestine #dimond speaks #god i hope this doesnt come across as insensitive #i was going for the opposite #but you know people will take this post in the worst ways possible so #read the post again if you think im saying palestine would make for a good movie or something.#dont misconstrue my words #free gaza #free rafah #free sudan #free the congo #free yemen

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galaxy-brain-rasslin · 1 year ago

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Thoughts on AEW: Revolution (2024)

There will be spoilers. There will also be a cut, as a courtesy.

Zero Hour:

The Bang Bang Scissor Gang (Max Caster, Anthony Bowens, Billy Gunn, Austin Gunn, Colten Gunn, Jay White) vs Jeff Jarrett, Stanam Singh, Jay Lethal, Willie Mack, and Private Part

This consistent thing of Max flubbing on the rap is interesting. My current assumption is that they're potentially having Max break away from the group. Which is an interesting choice, because Bowens is significantly more popular.

The match itself was totally fine. It was a Jarrett match. I didn't go into it expecting it to be some sort of masterpiece of technical wrestling. I expected a fun, goofy little thing with a bunch of silly shit happening that also happened to have some decent-to-good wrestling. And that's exactly what this was. No complaints.

I have no idea if White's post-match promo was intended to be interpreted as a smarmy, insincere thing filled with deliberately cheap pops for the audience, but that's how I heard it. It somehow made it so much better.

Willow Nightingale & Kris Statlander vs Julia Hart & Skye Blue

Julia Hart's character going from a cheerleader to "What if The Undertaker was a spooky girl instead?" is such an amazing transformation. I can't get over how well she's committed to the presentation of the gimmick, and how good this is. Skye going from blue-themed girl from Chicago to a Dark Kingdom cosplayer has also been an interesting development. I like how these two also seem to be enjoying the changeup.

Stokely Hathaway is hilarious. I love him on commentary. His inclusion of the dynamic with Willow and Kris is just fantastic.

If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times-- I love Willow. She's one of my favorite women on the roster. The combination of the happy/bubbly personality that also contains someone who, if pressed, will rip you in half? Wonderful stuff. And Statlander is also consistently great. Watching these two throw Skye around was fantastic.

I was a little surprised to see Willow and Kris win without any major fuckery. Julia's moonsault looked significantly better compared the one with her match against Abadon.

It was a fun little match.

Revolution

Christian Cage vs Daniel Garcia, AEW TNT Championship

Christian Cage continues to be one of the best heels in professional wrestling today. A gimmick composed entirely of "lmao L + Ratio + Dead Dad" and "I will be your father"-- all while he wrestles in a goddamn sleeveless turtleneck? Everything about that is just somebody whose face you want to see punched.

Really happy to see Garcia get the match. I mentioned before that I had wanted DG to win. That didn't happen, but I thought everything about the match was great. Menard combing out there to beat the hell out of Luchasaurus/Killswitch in defense of Danny was great.

I thought Garcia looked good in this, and I don't think him losing to Christian (especially with all the interference) will cause any significant issues.

Ultimately, I enjoyed the match. I thought it was a good opener and kept me pretty invested the whole time. Although I'm wondering who is going to be the one to actually take the title off Christian.

Eddie Kingston vs Bryan Danielson, Continental Crown Championship (AEW Continental, ROH World, NJPW Strong Openweight Championships)

Bryan Danielson is without question one of the greatest technical pro wrestlers of all time. Also, he and Eddie both are fantastic in-ring storytellers.

Bryan Danielson, in his current iteration, is also a condescending piece of shit, and he's great at doing that, too.

Like Willow, I love Eddie. Eddie is up there with Hiroshi Tanahashi in that I will literally always cheer for him. I don't care who he's up against, I'm cheering for Eddie the whole time.

This match was amazing. Eddie and Bryan are so great at getting you emotionally invested in their matches. They both know what things they need to do for the audience to get hooked in, and they play those perfectly. The narrative of this match was perfect.

I went into this genuinely uncertain just who would win. The majority of the match didn't help matters. Eddie hitting the ring post with a chop, instead of Danielson, was a nice piece of drama to incorporate into things. I also liked how Danielson really made it a point to emphasize just how strong Eddie's chops are-- with commentary even pointing out Bryan things Eddie is better with chopping/upper body attacks.

A big narrative line through these Eddie Kingston Addresses the Blackpool Combat Club matches has been that BCC generally seems to think Eddie has the potential to be a lot better than he is, and they're trying to get that out of him. Except for Mox, they don't respect Eddie until he shows up and chops the fuck out of them. Eddie has always been on their level, but he doesn't believe in himself enough to really get there.

Great match. Just a great fucking match.

I know Eddie eventually is going to have to lose the belts. It's an inevitability unless just retire all of them simultaneously, but that seems unlikely. That said, I don't have to like it.

Wardlow vs Chris Jericho vs Powerhouse Hobbs vs Lance Archer vs Hook vs Brian Cage vs Magnus vs Dante Martin

Originally the Meat match, got changed up due to Reasons. I'll be honest, I didn't really care much about this match. I assumed Wardlow was going to win, because it didn't really make sense to do this repackaged presentation of him with Undisputed Kingdom, set up a match essentially to be like "Look at Wardlow slap all this meat" and then have him lose. The inclusion of the smaller guys was, like, fine. Dante Martin is great. Hook is fun. Magnus was also great. Chris Jericho was there.

I thought it was contrived and silly, but I also enjoyed when the smaller dudes all got knocked out of the ring so the bigger dudes could do a little pose off and have slap meat. But that's because the "MEAT" chants are hilarious to me.

My preferred ending to this match would have been if Wardlow had powerbombed Jericho for the win. But you can't get everything you want. Also, Wardlow using the Last Ride as his finisher is great. I wasn't the biggest fan of Bikertaker (and I believe he had only recently transitioned into Bikertaker whenever I fell off of watching WWF/E the first time) but Last Ride is such a great powerbomb.

A silly and fun match. It was a nice cooldown from Eddie/Bryan.

Roderick Strong vs Orange Cassidy, AEW International Championship

AEW's doctor said that OC wouldn't be cleared to wrestle unless they taped up his ribs and back. So the match starts with OC wearing a comical amount of kinesio tape. In a match against a man who is literally called "The Messiah of the Backbreaker".

Strong came to the ring wearing a white hooded cape and a skull-themed, like, paintball mask. I didn't recognize it at first, but I think it was intended to be something like Taskmaster from Marvel Comics. Which is kinda cool. I'm not as familiar with Taskmaster as much as other villains-- mostly because I just haven't read a lot of Marvel stuff.

Anyway, this was a good match. Roddy, as one would expect, beat the hell out of OC's back. I think OC did great at showing that he's just a beat down dude who has barely let himself take time to recover from any injuries. And having him go up against someone who basically specializes in hurting the area that OC was already injured was just perfect.

Roddy is great. The number of ways that man can spin something into a backbreaker is always impressive. I'm glad he won. I maintain that getting this win will absolutely help the legitimacy of Undisputed Kingdom.

Blackpool Combat Club (Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli) vs FTR

I think that FTR is one of the greatest tag teams around today. I've said this before. I was a fan of theirs when they were in NXT as The Revival, and I loved their little Belt Collector run with AEW. In terms of non-WWE tag teams, they're usually right up there with The Young Bucks, and whether you're a fan of the Bucks or FTR really seems to boil down to the style you like to watch. The no-flips-just-fists of FTR is a great callback to the older era of wrestling, and the two of them do it well.

Mox and Claudio also do that very well.

This was a great match. These four dudes beat the shit out of each other, and I genuinely wasn't sure how the match would go.

BCC doing a Doomsday Device with a goddamn European uppercut was wild.

I think having Mox and Jon win was perfectly fine. FTR isn't going to be hurt by losing to these two dudes. They're fucking FTR. I could easily watch these four have several more matches together. There's a kind of respectful brutality with them.

That all being said, I do wish the meme of Mox bleeding every match-- or people being surprised when he isn't bleeding-- would finally die. He hasn't done it in a while.

Of course, half of Mox's character is basically some sort of blood freak with a violence fetish, so I still expect blood somewhere in his bigger matches.

"Timeless" Toni Storm vs Deonna Purrazzo, AEW Women's Championship

Mariah May coming out to Toni's old theme, with her old gear was a great touch.

Deonna is great. I'm happy to see her here. I'm glad that there's solid technical wrestling the women's division with her and Deeb being there. This was a solid match. I didn't really have a lot in terms of expectations-- I haven't seen a lot of Deonna's other stuff, but I knew she was good.

While I think it would have been fine if Deonna had one, I also think it may have been a bit too soon for that. Also, if Mercedes is debuting soon, that sets up a bit of a lose/lose if Deonna is the champion and they try to hook those two into a feud.

I definitely want to see more from Deonna. I think she would be a good person to take the TBS belt from Julia. I don't want her down in ROH-- but that's because ROH is a subscription service, and I don't currently have it (although I do want it, because Athena is one of my favorites).

I thought this was a solid match for both of them. Toni is always fun to watch in the ring. I'm curious to see where things go with both of them after this.

Will Ospreay vs Konosuke Takeshita

1 Like = 1 Bruv.

My expectation for this match was, quite literally, just that it was going to be a fucking fantastic match. Ospreay is one of the greats. Takeshita is steadily (and rapidly) approaching into the ranks of the greats.

I fucking loved this match. The crowd at the arena fucking loved this match. Every time Ospreay and Takeshita started in on each other, you could eat the people just get so into it.

Was this a dirty spotfest? Yeah. Of course. It's a Will Ospreay match. That's what he does. But you know what? I don't fucking care. I can enjoy watching ZSJ and Bryan Danielson spend an hour in the middle of the ring, trying to break each other's fingers and I can enjoy watching Ospreay and Takeshita jump around and flip and smash each other with elbows before jumping and flipping some more.

Spanish Fly is also one of my favorite moves to watch.

The match fucked. It humped. It was great. I loved it. It was A Spectacle if there ever was one. The kind of match you can eat popcorn to, although you're going to throw it everywhere because you jerking the bag around out of excitement. So much fun.

Samoa Joe vs Swerve Strickland vs HangMAD Hangman Adam Page

Did I want Swerve to win? Yes.

Did I want Hangman to win? Yes.

Did I want Samoa Joe to win? Yes.

Did I want Hangman to completely lose his mind and deliberately fuck over Swerve? Oh god, yes.

Swerve Strickland the most over wrestler who is not named "Sting" in AEW. There is nobody who comes close to this man. He literally broke into Hangman's home, and threated Hangman's infant child, and the crowd still loves him, because he's that fucking cool. And he's that good. Swerve's popularity is so strong that anyone who goes against him is going to be booed on some level.

Hangman has, as the upper-third of his name plate said, completely lost it. Wide-eyed, driven, and completely unhinged. Does he want the championship? Or does he just want Swerve to not have it?

Samoa Joe is Samoa Joe. We all love him. He's great on the mic. He's great in the ring. He feels credible and legitimate as a champion and a challenger. Having him be the champion for this feud is great.

A fantastic match. A ton of fun to watch. There was a perfect amount of drama for this thing. I loved it.

This match also cemented the double-turn for Swerve and Hangman.

Hangman, in an attempt to prevent Swerve from winning, beat up two different referees. The only way that's a babyface move is if your name is Bobby Heenan. Hangman's obsession with screwing over Swerve has caused him to start doing this stuff. I can't wait to see where they go with him now. Are they gonna change the music? Will they keep the goofy comments in the nameplate?

Swerve, by extension, refused to use Prince Nana's crown when it was offered, saying that he didn't need it. A thing that had been used before in matches against Hangman. There is an attempt here to have Swerve redeem himself for the deplorable things he's done.

In the end, Hangman tapped to Samoa Joe. Excalibur, help to sow the seeds that many people were wondering, posed the question if Hangman was tapping because he actually gave up, or if he was tapping to spite Swerve. I think it was the latter, because he's that much of a (justified) hater.

I am still 100% in favor of Hangman and Swerve fighting forever.

Sting and Darby Allin vs The Young Bucks, AEW Tag Team Championship

Sting's last match. Going out on his terms. This was a big deal for a lot of people. Even people who weren't in AEW. I knew this was going to be special.

Before the match starts, Ric Flair made his way down to the ring to take up space. Then, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat came down as the guest timekeeper. They also showed various other wrestlers in the audience.

The Young Bucks come out in robes and have cannons shoot out business cards. It felt like a corporate Okada entrance. I liked it.

Darby came out as he does.

Then we got a little video package of Sting in an empty theater as they show various career highlights. In the end, he says, "It's showtime. It's showtime for the last time. Let's do this."

Sting's entrance starts with one of his sons dressed as a red, white, and blue-themed Surfer Sting, complete with the blonde hair. Another son is dressed as Wolfpac Sting. Then we have Sting show up.

While Tony Schiavone's voice isn't as strong as it was in WCW, you can tell during his initial commentary during the match that's definitely trying not to get emotional.

Watching Sting, and his two sons, do Stinger Splashes to the Bucks was great.

Tables, chairs, a ladder, and panes of glass were brought out. Panes. Multiple. A series of chairs were set up, and one or two sheets of the glass were placed on top, like a table.

Sting and Darby went through tables.

Darby jumped from the ladder (which was quite tall) and landed back first into Chekov's Glass-and-Chair Table. He laid on the ground for quite some time, his back just absolutely shredded.

Sting, also, went through glass. However, he had clothes on, and looked unscathed.

The match was chaos in the best way. I had no idea who would win-- I expected The Bucks to do something fucky to screw over Sting. They threw everything at him. He withstood multiple superkicks and BTE/EVP Triggers.

Eventually, Darby came back to life, and managed to keep Nicholas Jackson at bay long enough for Sting to throw on the Scorpion Deathlock. Matthew taps. Sting and Darby retain.

Sting's last wrestling match, and he goes out on top. I didn't expect that. I don't know why I didn't expect that. Tony Khan is a billionaire wrestling nerd, and Sting was/is probably a favorite of his. If there was ever a wrestler who deserved to go out as the winner, it's Sting.

If AEW is around long enough to have a "Hall of Fame", Sting needs to be one of the first people inducted (the first person has to be Brodie Lee, or I will personally fight Tony Khan). I hope they are around long enough for that.

Miscellaneous non-match things

PAC IS COMING BACK. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I've missed that bastard.

KOR IS BACK. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. I missed that goofy son of a bitch. I was so worried he wouldn't be coming back. I can't watch to see how he's going to be interacting with Undisputed Kingdom, since he seemingly rejected Roddy's offer to join.

Apparently Toni Storm called out Wendy Richter again in the post-show media scrum. Which I just find consistently hilarious.

In Summary

This shit was fucking fun as hell, dude. AEW is very consistent in having good quality PPVs. World's End was probably the weakest one I've seen, and even then, it wasn't bad. I can't wait to see the fallout of things on Wednesday.

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mediaevalmusereads · 8 months ago

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Revelator. By Daryl Gregory. Alfred A. Knopf, 2021.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: southern gothic, horror

Series: N/A

Summary: In 1933, nine-year-old Stella is left in the care of her grandmother, Motty, in the backwoods of Tennessee. These remote hills of the Smoky Mountains are home to dangerous secrets, and soon after she arrives, Stella wanders into a dark cavern where she encounters the family's personal god, an entity known as the Ghostdaddy.

Years later, after a tragic incident that caused her to flee, Stella--now a professional bootlegger--returns for Motty's funeral, and to check on the mysterious ten-year-old girl named Sunny that Motty adopted. Sunny appears innocent enough, but she is more powerful than Stella could imagine--and she's a direct link to Stella's buried past and her family's destructive faith.

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: racism, suicide, self-harm, blood, animal suffering, violence

OVERVIEW: I don't quite remember how I learned of this book, but mysteries gods in the Appalachian mountains sounded right up my alley. And in a lot of ways, this book delivered; I loved the mystery of the family cult and the way the past and present intersected. My rating is influenced by a couple things: one, I think Gregory could have pushed the prose a bit more, and two, I think the wants of the god and the themes of the cult could have played off each other a little better. Thus, this book gets 3 stars from me.

WRITING: Gregory's prose is fine, but not especially to my tastes. It's easy to understand and fairly quick, but I thought it leaned a but too heavily on telling. It's not the most egregious example I've seen, but when it comes to genres like southern Gothic and horror, I'm really looking for a strong sense of atmosphere. Personally, I thought the prose relied too much on character dialogue and stating emotions rather than showing them.

PLOT: The plot of this book follows a girl named Stella Wallace in two timelines: one in which she is 9 years old and comes to live with her grandmother, Motty. The other follows Stella when she's in her twenties and returns to Motty's house after hearing of her death. In both timelines, Stella must reckon with her family's strange religion and her role as the so-called "revelator."

There were a lot of things I liked about the plot. I enjoyed the mystery of the religion (which feels a bit like a cult) and what Stella's role was in the hierarchy. I also liked the themes that Gregory plays with, such as men acting as authorities or mediators, writing down and providing commentary on women's stories and not allowing the women to read the testimony of anyone still living. I also loved the way Gregory explored the theology of both Christianity and the family religion; Stella asked some very pointed questions, and it revealed a lot about the nature of devotion and power within religious organizations.

I do think, however, that some of the themes could have been pushed a bit so that everything commingled better towards the end. Without giving anything away, I will say that I think Gregory didn't explore the goals of the God as well as he could have and those goals didn't quite line up with the themes established prior. So while the horror aspect of the plot was fine, I think it could have come together much better to say something about gender and religion or something.

CHARACTERS: Stella, our protagonist, is fairly compelling because she has a stubborn, independent streak. Her grandmother, Motty, doesn't treat her very well, so when Stella acts out, it's easy to be on her side. She also is fiercely loyal to people she cares about (such as Abby, Merle, Alfonse, and even Sunny), so if you're a fan of found families, you'll probably like the relationships in this book. I do think Stella's personal arc was a bit underdeveloped; I'm not sure if Gregory was trying to play with the themes of "I'm a monster," but it seems to be the predominant narrarive and I honestly don't think Stella exhibits enough self-loathing to really grapple with that in a meaningful way.

Supporting characters were great in that it was clear what they were there to do and they complimented Stella's story nicely. Motty, Stella's grandmother, was interesting in that I was never quite sure if she was trying to help Stella or was jealous of her. Abby, Stella's surrogate father, was charming and his admiration for Stella was endearing. Sunny was also kind of fun in that her origins are unclear and she is way too similar to Stella to think there isn't something going on with her.

Antagonists such as the members of the family "church" were interesting because they exhibited some of the main pitfalls of some organized religions today. The rigid gender hierarchy and the power afforded to men was compelling and I liked the way Gregory explored that through the control of the various books (testaments of past female revelators).

I do think the god could have been shaped a bit more so that when it is revealed what its goal actually is, it would have dovetailed nicely with the themes of the church. As it stands, I didn't exactly find the god horrifying since none of the things that are revealed about it are particularly explored in Stella's narrative. I don't want to spoil anything, so I'm being a bit vague, but hopefully you'll understand if you read the book.

TL;DR: The Revelator is interesting for the way it explores sexism and hierarchy in religion while also questioning the way power is structured. However, it could have been stronger with more atmospheric prose and themes that intersected more closely.

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bengiyo · 2 years ago

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Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 12 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Third caught Khai in a compromising moment with Ching Ching and reacted to the betrayal he always expected by trying to hurt Khai back. They had an ugly fight that they both walked away from bloody, and Third ended up cutting off contact with Khai. Khai tried to reach out to Third, but didn't know what to do, so still got the tickets and waited to go on their beach trip. Two sided with Third and decided to skip in solidarity, but Bone didn't know anything that had happened and was dealing with his own shit. Third, realizing Khai thought he'd been abandoned by all of his friends rushed to see him at the train station in a moment that really worked for me this time. Meanwhile, Lynn broke things off with Two who is sorting his feelings for Un. Bone did the mature thing and supported Paan and Gab on their relationship journey.

Khai has come a long way. He is right that no one would believe him about Ching Ching, and it is frustrating to be trapped by your own reputation.

This conversation works really well because Khai is finally attuned to how Third feels. Third has never really wanted Khai to suffer (even if I did), and so Third visibly regrets how hard he pushed Khai away without asking any follow up questions.

"Today is not normal." Well look who finally learned how to talk.

Ep.12 My Dear

It is nice to see this friend group back in equilibrium.

Okay, I was not expecting the grilled chicken to be a whole quarter of a goddamn chicken on a stick.

I like this scene where Khai runs into Jam at the beach. He's always going to be nervous about his relationship history with women now that he knows how it impacted Third. Third also has to wonder what things will look like for him if they break up.

I like the UnTwo scene on its own, but I do think they are the weakest part of this show. I think they're meant to offer additional flavor on long-term pining, but they never really resonate with Khai and Third for me.

Oh, Third, I feel you on all your insecurities about Khai, but you came on this trip. Please try to enjoy it.

Third is so fascinating. It's like watching the second lead throw away victory constantly. I get him. Sometimes you get used to being lonely and hurting. Hope becomes scary because it is so uncertain.

"Khai, don't break my friend's heart." I love you, Two. White is one of my favorite OGs.

I do love how literally Khai is taking this list.

People love to queue. Very egalitarian of these girls to all go in for just one lick on Khai.

The commentary on the romance genre feels unintentional here. Het romance has done a number on queer people letting that inform their understanding. Third and Saengtai come from the same messed up place of thinking someone else should "just know" when these ones won't say what needs to be said.

We didn't think the lighting team because they're still working for this grand gesture.

The audience must be so confused. They can't read these cards.

I'm not personally one for grand gestures like this, but returning the Love, Actually presentation to Third was probably the best way to do this for him.

I'm actually getting so emotional about them starting a production company together and winning an international award together.

It feels right that even together, Khai has to still chase Third a little bit.

I think the core storytelling is actually very strong. I have my own hangups with Khai because I know so many guys like him, and I still question the intent of this story to present this ideal since the Khais of the world are not watching this show. Still, I actually like that this is a story about filmmakers and how the presentation of love has informed their own relationships. It's useful to talk about the romance genre itself and how it has informed romantic identity. I do think the show went a bit far in the Khai Sucks deep end and didn't necessarily pull out of it.

I'll reserve my revised verdict until I watch the special tomorrow, but I am generally feeling like this project is more worthwhile than I did in 2019, though I don't know that this was really written for gay people at all.

This rewatch has been brought to you by @lurkingshan, with support from @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm who often listen to my gripes and intense dislike of Khai and the people in my life he reminds me of. Tagging @twig-tea by request.

#Theory of Love #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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mesaylormoon · 2 years ago

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Mean Girls (2024): A Review

After an incredibly long hiatus, I have returned with a new format in mind to streamline the process of writing movie reviews! Instead of publishing lengthy criticisms regarding the strengths and weaknesses of the latest TV shows and movies, I believe a brief “pros and cons” list might be the best way of conveying my thoughts about today’s features. Most people appreciate brevity over novel-length reviews, so without further ado, here are my thoughts on the latest Mean Girls movie musical!

Pros:

• The increased production budget and costume design provide this version of Mean Girls with a visual edge the original did not have

• The cast is far more diverse

• There are some solid jokes laced throughout the movie (including a hilarious nod to the Thank U, Next music video) which added a creative touch to the 2024 movie

• The inclusion of social media is practically a necessity in the updated versions of Mean Girls, and the filmmakers capitalize on their opportunities to create a fair amount of social commentary using the medium. (Social media also did not make excessive appearances in this movie, which I appreciate)

• I personally like the new actor playing Damian more than the original :)

• Cameos from the original cast are always a treat

• The Halloween party musical number is a fun, high-energy inclusion that allows Avantika Vandanapu to shine for a brief moment in the movie

• I love the legacy timing of this movie’s release (20th anniversary of a timeless classic)

• It’s not Mean Girls 2 (huge plus)

Cons:

• The performances, character development, and relationship-building are not nearly as strong as the original

• The actors shared little chemistry with each other

• The musical numbers were mostly jarring and were introduced at inopportune times

• This version of Mean Girls almost seems to misunderstand the use of the Burn Book as an allegory for cyberbullying — because social media is present in this film, everyone knows who is responsible for any bullying or cruelty directed at other students in this version

• Narrative beats from the original version were introduced far too late or far too early in the movie and lack the dramatic impact and reveal they had in the 2004 release

• Some of the most iconic lines from the 2004 version are altered or omitted altogether in an attempt to sanitize the original

Verdict: Just rewatch the 2004 version! There was an honest attempt to pay tribute to a comedic cultural touchstone that still resonates with young audiences. However, the filmmakers’ lack of understanding of what makes the original remarkable — from the well-rounded characters, solid relationship-building, brilliant social commentary, and hilarious one-liners — make this well-intended remake less memorable than its predecessor.

Thank you for reading! I look forward to offering my followers more (hopefully brief) reviews in the future!

#mean girls #mean girls 2004 #mean girls 2024 #review #hiatus

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call-sign-shark · 2 years ago

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I've been waiting impatiently for this chapter, Reb!! My apologies in advance 'cause this is going to be quite a long commentary.

From the get-go, I love that Nina sounds cold and unsympathetic from the get-go despite her polite words. She makes zero effort to hide her annoyance with Tommy lmao. Which is rendered even better when she just looked at the razor blade in his cap and is just like "oh whatever" while Tommy expected her to be scared (hence his nickname The Peaky Blinder Devil). This is a very interesting detail because 1. it's unusual for Tommy, 'cause he's used to exerting a certain power over people, and 2. It fleshes out Nina's strong spirit.

"There was a fiery stubbornness in her eyes, but it wasn’t intentional, or a mere way of presenting herself to the world. It was rooted in her very nature."

I am just in love with your prose here, Reb. The way you describe her fierceness flows naturally and doesn't seem forced. Even before this description, I envisioned Nina's behavior as something deeply rooted in her rather than a voluntary bratty way of behaving. So kudo to you!

Now the scene between Agnese and Nina was exquisite. I don't know how you did but you've managed to give realistic family vibes in your text. I feel like I'm wandering in this house: this is quite an intimate and pleasant feeling 'cause it creates ties between the reader and the characters. I'm particularly thinking about the topic of forced marriage and the line "Being a Teresa was not that uncommon", so painfully true. Also the scene between these two (I love how you portray their relationship by the way) is a beautiful critique of women's place during this era. Normally, the trope of the wild girl that doesn't want to get married but still has because of her times' codes is quite common, but you succeed in rendering it insanely interesting and we, as readers, can only root for Nina. I particularly appreciate this quote:

“Yes, but doesn’t it bother you?” Nina asked, her dark eyes full of obstinacy. “They don’t involve us in the business, but they use us as some sort of bargaining chip when it suits them.” She spat out.

You go, girl! Nina spits facts and her anger against the world is as legitimate as beautifully described.

It might be something personal 'cause I'm Sicilian, but gosh I laughed so much at Tommy trying to hard to remember all the info he has learned and being relieved he hasn't to remember every name and face of the family. THIS IS SO TRUE FOR ITALIAN FAMILY. Then, I also laughed (a bit more sadly) at his sarcastic thought "They had to make things the right way // but it just looked like some kind of sale". You can't imagine how much I loved this line. A short, simple, but undeniably powerful image to illustrate arranged marriages.

Nina's relationship with Tommy is delightful, as well as their exchanges. On the one side, we have this young woman with her teeth bared, and on the other side, we have that older gangster who appreciates provoking her. Yet, her quick wit always leads her to have the final word and I love this. Despite the mutual distrust, I feel like Tommy particularly enjoys her presence, or at least his intelligence is stimulated by her. Nina would prolly yell but... I kinda ship them already 🤭

Now, the parts that got me squealing... First of all, I love how you slowly built tension between Tommy/Nina without being cliché. It's far from being love at first sight. Quite the contrary, she's supportive of Agnese and is kind of happy for her -- which I found very endearing. It's glad to see there is no competition between the two of them. Taking this into account, I want to ask you a question: how? How dare you be that talented? The way you construct the family diner scene got me speechless. From Nina's slow-building irritation to the women making more or less direct and nasty comments to her... This was an emotional whirlwind. You managed to instill a slight claustrophobic sensation in me, just like Nina probably feel.

“Look at them, sitting at the table like fucking kings.” Nina murmured, looking out the window as she scrubbed a plate. “God forbid they raise a finger.”

I enjoyed this line a lot. This is so true, and I could perfectly picture it. Nevertheless, this leads me to the final scene, and ... I AM YELLING. Once again, your talent for description and balancing tension reveals itself as Tommy's eyes dive into her and have for immediate effect to quiet her. As if the ice of his iris tamed the fire of her: it was such a poetic moment, probably my favorite of this whole wonderful chapter! And the fact he helped her with the plate of coffee, not minding Pietro's comment, made me fall a little bit for Tommy LMAO. And you perfectly ended this incredible chapter with Nina snapping at her brother.

Reb, I often have to force myself a little bit when I start reading a Tommy work. Not that it doesn't interesting, but I have to focus more and tell myself "okay, now we're gonna take a serious read at it". But since you post the first part, I've become addicted o your new series. There's something refreshing in the way you address the topic of arranged marriage. Whether it is the "relationship" between Tommy and Nina, who are two stubborn people, or the Sicilian settings, I am completely hooked. In truth, I can't wait for chapter 3. Also, please tag me in all your Peaky works, please.

Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC

PART II

Summary: Nina has a chat with Tommy, and she doesn’t hesitate to make some things clear. As they get to know each other more, they learn one thing: neither of them wants to let the other win.

Warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, slow-burn, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s), time-typical misogyny, English is not my first language.

A/N: This is set somewhere between season 1 and 2. Feedback is always appreciated🤍 Read part I HERE

SERIES MASTERLIST

SERIES MOODBOARD

Gif credit

Dividers credit

Tommy followed Nina’s quick steps down the hallway of her big house, his mind still racing from the past events. He still had to come to terms with the fact that he was in Sicily, he was alive, and the deal was not some trap set in order to get rid of him.

Nina stopped in front of a door, turning to look at him for the first time since she had started walking. She tucked a loose strand of her long hair behind her ear, finally resting her gaze upon him.

“This is your room.” She said, opening the door. “It has a private bathroom. If you need more towels or stuff like that, you can take them from the cabinet at the end of the hallway. Make yourself at home.”

Her flat tone, in high contrast with her polite words, made it plain that she had been told to be civil, and that she didn’t really care about him feeling comfortable. Tommy figured that the grudge she apparently held against him was probably due to the fact that, just like he didn’t trust those people, she didn’t trust him.

Nina’s dark eyes shifted to stare at something right above his head, and it didn’t take him long to realise she was looking at the razors sewn in his cap. He waited for her bold facade to crumble, to read the unmistakable signs of fear appear on her face. However, defying all his expectations, the glimpse shining in her eyes was not one of fear, rather one of curiosity.

“The Peaky Blinders…” she murmured, more to herself than to him, with the tone of someone who was suddenly aware of something. Then she blinked, seemingly recollecting herself. “I just wondered why you called yourselves like that.” She explained.

“Now you know.” He said, with a nod of his head.

Silence fell between them as they stood face to face, studying each other, all while keeping their distance. There was a fiery stubbornness in her eyes, but it wasn’t intentional, or a mere way of presenting herself to the world. It was rooted in her very nature. That restless gaze was something that Tommy knew all too well.

“Anyway, you won’t need it.” Nina suddenly spoke, nodding towards his cap. “Just like you won’t need the gun you’re hiding inside your coat. Don’t bring them to the lunch.”

Tommy squinted his eyes, opening his mouth to say something, but no sound came out of it as words failed him. How the hell would she know what he was hiding in his coat?

She shot him one last glance before walking past him, without giving him the chance to speak. Only when she reached the middle of the hallway, she spoke again, slightly raising her voice. “Lunch will be served in an hour. Don’t be late.”

“He’s not an old man.”

Nina went straight to the point as she stormed inside her cousin’s bedroom, eager to ease at least one of her worries. After her conversation with Tommy, she had hastily left her house, crossed the shared garden, and rushed inside Agnese’s house for an update session.

“Good.” Agnese said, taking one last look in the mirror before turning to face her cousin, who had proceeded to sit on her bed. “How does he look?” She asked, some sort of trepidation in her eyes.

Not like a Devil, Nina thought to herself. She had heard stories about him, about how everybody called him “The Peaky Blinder Devil”. She had pictured him like an unpleasant man - nasty, even -, rough and surly. Instead, he couldn’t have been any different. She had to admit that he was, in fact, quite attractive. And his manners were fairly good.

“He’s… nice.” She hesitated, the word feeling like a burning lump she had to swallow. “He has blue yes.”

Agnese stared at her with a puzzled look in her eyes, probably expecting something more articulate. But as much as she tried, Nina couldn’t find the words to describe the man she had just met. For some reason, they just wouldn’t come out.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be a Teresa.” Nina broke the silence with a joke, making her cousin chuckle.

“Well, that’s a relief.”

Teresa was a girl they used to play with when they were children, a sweet girl, unfortunately born in a poor family. She was married off as soon as she turned eighteen. The man was twice her age, smelled foul and missed a front tooth.

Being a Teresa was not that uncommon.

“Anyway, it’s not like he’s betrothed to me. They just suggested him to marry me.” She remarked, grabbing a hairbrush and turning towards the mirror again. “He might not choose me.”

Nina raised her eyebrows as she looked at her cousin in disbelief. “Are you serious?” She asked, slightly raising her voice. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the village, everybody says. And you’re gentle, and good.”

Agnese shook her head, slowly brushing her brown hair. “My sisters are beautiful as well. And so are our cousins both from your mother and my mother’s side.”

“Yes, but your sisters are not even twenty yet. And our cousins don’t know a single English word.” She pointed out. “Who else would he choose, me?”

A genuine laugh escaped from Agnese’s lips at her cousin’s sarcastic remark. Everybody knew Nina wasn’t exactly marriage material, with her smart mouth and unusual ideas. Silence fell between them as Agnese struggled to tie the front parts of her hair behind her head with a ribbon. Nina got up from the bed and walked up to her. She took the ribbon from her hand and started to style her hair. “Don’t be worried, Agnese. I’m sure he’ll only have eyes for you.” She said softly, giving her a supportive smile through the mirror.

When she finished, Nina sat back on the bed, suddenly becoming serious. She fidgeted with the hem of a blanket, trying to voice her thoughts without sounding negative. “Is this what you want, though?”

Agnese glanced at her with furrowed eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t it be?” She asked, pure wonder in her voice. “I’ve always known I’d have to get married.”

Nina sighed, slightly shaking her head. Sometimes she felt like her thoughts were something that could be understood by her and only her. She had no one to share them with, no one who would genuinely listen. And even though her cousin was the only one who didn’t look at her as if she was some lost cause, Nina knew that, deep down, she thought what everybody else did. That one day, Nina would have to stop with her nonsense and get married.

“The business is men’s business, Nina.” Agnese said with a soft voice, trying to reason with her. “We help the only way we can.”

“But what do we get from it?” She insisted.

“Security, stability. Someone who provides for us. That’s how things are. It’s not like we have any other choice.”

Nina scoffed, putting an end to the conversation. It was an important day for her cousin, and she didn’t want to ruin it for her. But as much as she tried to support her, she couldn’t understand how she could just accept that. In moments like those, their difference emerged in all its magnitude.

And she was well aware they really couldn’t be any more different. Not just in the way they thought, but in the very depths of their being. That difference was right before everyone’s eyes. She had been compared to Agnese all her life, to her beauty, to her softness. There was nothing soft about Nina. She was all sharp edges and searing looks. Where Agnese wore a smile bright enough to put the sun to shame, Nina wore a scowl. Where Agnese’s words, sweet like honey, meant to soothe, Nina’s words meant to cut. She was outspoken, and defensive, and angry. Angry at her family, whose judgmental stare burned on her skin. Angry at her mother, who had wanted her different since the moment she had drawn her first breath. Angry at her father, who still treated her like a little girl who knew nothing of the word. Angry at Tommy Shelby, who thought he could just barge in and state some claim over one of them.

Standing up, Nina shot her cousin one last look before walking towards the door. “I’ll wait for you in the garden.”

Not even half an our after Tommy Shelby’s arrival, the garden was already full of nosy relatives, half of whom didn’t even have a part in the business. The news of there being a gangster had roused the interest of ambitious mothers and their giddy daughters.

“Is it always like this?”

Tommy’s voice came to Nina’s as he walked up to her, stopping by her side. She was quite pleased to see that he had listened to her and taken off his cap, along with his coat and his jacket. No gun nor razors in sight.

“No, thank God.” She shook her head. “Usually, we only gather on Sunday. But now you’re here, and everybody’s curious.” She explained, her Italian accent coming through with all those r’s. “Those people there,” she pointed towards a group of people talking next to the table, “they’re from my mother’s side. And those ones-” she indicated another set of relatives, “they’re from Aunt Rita’s side, Agnese’s mother. I’d tell you to introduce yourself, but they don’t speak English.”

Tommy nodded to himself, trying to keep all that information in mind. “Are they part of the business, too?”

“No. The business is only run by my father’s side of the family. By they do benefit from it.”

A part of him was glad that he didn’t have to remember all of those people, or to interact with them. His main concern were the Ferrante brothers - or rather, two of them, since Antonio had stayed in England -, their wives and their sons and daughters.

“For the next few days this is how it’s gonna be.” Nina spoke again, a hint of annoyance in her voice as she looked around. “Once you make it clear who it is that you want to marry, the whole thing will die out. I hope.”

“Your uncle Mario has three daughters, right?” Tommy asked, trying to put together what he had learned about the family. He was pretty sure he remembered all of the important things, but a recapitulation wouldn’t hurt.

“Yes.” She confirmed. “Agnese, Rosa and Sofia.”

“And you only have brothers.” He said, taking his cigarette case out of his pocket. He opened it and offered Nina a cigarette, but she politely declined.

“No, thank you. Two older brothers.”

He rubbed the cigarette against his lower lip before lighting it. He took a long drag, relishing the calming feeling of the smoke filling his lungs. All that situation was nerve-racking, way more than he had imagined. They could’ve simply arranged a marriage with Agnese and get on with it, but no, they had to do things the right way. See if they got along, see if there could be a better match. But it just looked like some kind of sale.

“So it would be convenient to marry one of you four.” He noted, speaking more to himself than to her. “Because all of your other cousins and their family are not directly involved in the business. And they don’t speak English.”

“One of them.” She corrected him, crossing her arms over her chest.

Tommy blinked, feeling like he had missed some part of the conversation. “What?”

“You’re here to marry one of them.” Nina clarified, emphasising the last word. “I took myself out of the list.”

He exhaled a cloud of smoke, trying to hide the amused grin that threatened to appear on his face. Although he barely knew that girl, the thing didn’t surprise him in the slightest. “Could you do that?”

“Who cares?” She shrugged, raising her eyebrows. “It’s not like you could force me anyway.”

There was something entertaining in those quick answers, in the way she didn’t hesitate to make things clear. He had the impression that she had been constantly challenging him since the moment they had met, and it was something completely different from what he was used to. He wasn’t even sure she was doing it on purpose, it seemed to be just her way of being. “No, I couldn’t.” He agreed, flicking the ash to the ground. “And I wouldn’t. But if I were to choose you, and you were to say no, and I were to consider all of your cousins as unsuitable, I could decide to go on with the war. Would you take that responsibility upon yourself?” He provoked her, squinting his eyes.

Of course, Tommy would’ve never done something like that. It wasn’t in his interest to find a wife that was “suitable”, he only wanted to put an end to that war. But the girl in front of him seemed clever and quick-witted, and he was curious to see how long she would manage to hold her own.

“As I come to understand, this peace is more necessary to you than it is to us.” Nina started. “You were the ones who have been hit the hardest. You lost two pubs and a warehouse, right? And a few men.” She added, and it sounded more like a statement than a question. She cast him a sly glance, her brown iris glinting with smugness when she noticed the muscles clenching in his jaw. “You won’t go on with the war, it would be suicide.”

Tommy raised eyebrows with a nod, finding himself in the position of acknowledging that she, in fact, had a point. “I thought you weren’t involved in the business.” He said, before taking another drag from his cigarette. He knew the Italians were more old-fashioned in that sense. The men didn’t trouble their wives, sisters and daughters with the matters of business, not only because said business was dangerous, but mainly because there was a hierarchy to respect.

“I’m not.” She shook her head. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t know things.” She added cryptically.

Tommy had to give it to her, she was smart. However, there was a small detail she was forgetting, and he was determined to have the last word. “The thing is,” he drew on his cigarette again, taking his sweet time before going on. “If your family didn’t need me, I wouldn’t be here.”

He turned to look at Nina, staying quiet for a few seconds to test her reaction. She kept her gaze on a spot in front of her, waiting for him to go on, and from the expression on her face Tommy knew he had a chance of winning that conversation. “You can’t defeat Sabini without my help. You know he’s working with the Solomons, now?”

That was it. With a certain satisfaction, Tommy realised that she had no idea of what he was talking about. Maybe she didn’t know everything, after all. “You don’t even know who Solomons is, do you?” He rubbed it in with a taunting tone, stomping out his cigarette.

Before she could have the chance to answer, a voice called from behind them.

“Mr Shelby.”

Vincenzo Ferrante approached him, followed by a man and a young woman. “Meet my brother, Mario, and his daughter, Agnese.”

Tommy shook Mario’s hand before shifting his attention to the girl. They were right, she was a beauty. Her brown hair fell down to her shoulders, framing her sweet face. The pink, floral dress she was wearing flowed around the soft curves of her body, gracefully brushing against her rounded hips. Her doe eyes looked at him with shyness, and for a moment she seemed almost intimidated. But then, her full lips curved in a gentle smile, and her cheeks turned a vivid shade of pink as she held out her hand to him.

“Pleasure.” He shook it delicately, offering her a kind smile.

Agnese then turned to Nina, giving her a warm hug, but it was clear that it was just an excuse to whisper something in her ear. Nina shook her head, saying something in a fake scolding tone, making her cousin laugh.

“Come, Mr Shelby,” Vincenzo spoke again, drawing Tommy’s attention back to him. “I’ll introduce you to my wife.”

Against Tommy’s expectations, the lunch ran smoothly. He was introduced to Nina’s mother, Maria, and Agnese’s mother, Rita, although he didn’t speak much with them because of their lack of English. He engaged in conversation with Nina’s older brothers, Salvatore and Pietro, who were starting to take part in the Italian side of the business, and he met Agnese’s sisters. Sitting across from Nina, he noticed how she only spoke with Agnese, while her interactions with her aunts - the ones from her mother’s side of the family - were brief and characterised by some kind of tension. Her numerous cousins, for their part, seemed to barely acknowledge her existence. Tommy couldn’t help but steal a glance at her from time to time. For all she tried to put on a serene face, her rigid posture gave away how uncomfortable she actually was. Perhaps this time he had stared at her for a bit too long, because she raised her gaze from her plate to look at him. Their eyes met for a second, but Tommy was quick to look away, nodding at something that Mario Ferrante had said to him.

The lunch lasted until the early afternoon. After the majority of the relatives who had joined it had left - except for some of the aunts - Maria and Rita called their daughters to help cleaning everything up. Tommy remained sat at the table with Vincenzo, his two sons and Mario, all of them ready to settle the terms of the peace once and for all. Tommy’s headache, which had been plaguing him since the moment he had left Small Heath, was finally starting to subside. Now he would declare his intention to start courting Agnese, as they had suggested, and hopefully in a few weeks he’d be married and with one less enemy. Too much time had already been wasted, and getting to know the other girls would’ve slowed everything down even more. He wasn’t there to find the perfect match, he was there to save his family and his business. Agnese would do.

“So one of yours might get married soon, eh, Mario?” Vincenzo teased his brother, grabbing a bottle full of some bright yellow liquid that his wife had brought, before pouring it five small glasses. “Limoncello.” He said, handing one to Tommy.

“Who says? Maybe it’s your Nina that will get married.” Mario playfully retorted, winking at him with the glass in his hand.

Vincenzo chuckled, as if his brother had said the most amusing thing in the world. “You know my Nina’s not ready for marriage. Let’s leave her alone for a couple more years.” Having said that, he shot Tommy a look. It was a silent warning, my daughter is not up for sale.

Tommy cleared his throat, straightening his back. Maybe it was a bit too soon to declare his intention. As much as he wanted to get it over with, he didn’t want to seem hasty. Because, again, those people wanted to do things the right way.

Waiting two or three days wouldn’t hurt.

“Look at them, sitting at the table like fucking kings.” Nina murmured, looking out the window as she scrubbed a plate. “God forbid they raise a finger.”

Luckily for her, neither her mother nor her aunts could understand what she was saying, and her cousins were too busy talking amongst themselves to listen to her. She was in no mood for a scolding. She kept on cleaning, getting lost in her own thoughts. That day had been draining, and it wasn’t even over yet. It was always like that, every time that the family gathered. Feeling judged and looked upon for everything she said or did was tiring. It didn’t matter how much she tried to be good, there was always someone ready to point their finger behind fake curiosity and nasty smiles.

And now they were speaking loudly, talking about how beautiful Agnese was, about how Mr Shelby surely was already in love with her. Nina pretended not to see how they tended to look at her while making their comments. It was an implicit comparison, she knew. And she knew she was right when the comparison became explicit. Aunt Clara, one of her mother’s sisters, said only half jokingly that Nina would find a husband as well one day, if she decided to get rid of that frown and put some meat on those bones.

For once, Nina bit her tongue and kept on scrubbing the plate, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of a retort. Her mother, however, blushed and cleared her throat, almost embarrassed by the situation. Nina knew that her opinion about her was not that different from her aunts’, and that her behaviour was indefensible even for her mother.

Maria poured the coffee she had just prepared in five small cups that she had placed in a tray, then asked her daughter to bring it to the men. Nina sighed and grabbed the tray. At least she could leave that kitchen now.

She went out into the garden and walked to the table, that was now full of cigarette holders, matches, bottles and small glasses. She squeezed between their chairs, trying to find an empty spot big enough to place the tray. No one seemed to notice as she struggled make space with one hand, while with the other she balanced the tray, trying her best not to spill the coffee. A wave of irritation spread from her stomach, slowly rising to her chest and shoulders, all the way to her head, and soon she was gritting her teeth, her patience rapidly running out. Just when she was about to snap, two strong hands grabbed the tray, guiding it towards the space she had just cleared. Tommy’s blue irises pierced through her, and for a moment all her anger left her. There was something calming, in that particular shade of blue. She cast him a grateful glance, not only for his help, but mainly for preventing her from throwing a fit.

“Oh, no, no, please, sit, Mr. Shelby.” Her brother Pietro said, waving his hand. Nina raised her eyebrows, fighting the urge to slap him on the back of his head.

Tommy squinted his eyes and for a moment it seemed like he was about to say something. Then his gaze rested upon Nina again, and he nodded at her. “Thank you for the coffee.” He said, sitting back in his chair.

She took a few steps back, looking at him one last time before starting to walk away. Before she could go far, Pietro’s voice came to her ears again.

“Hand me the ashtray.”

Nina stopped in her tracks, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She gathered all her strength to remain calm, and turned around to look at him “You have hands.” She simply said, before going back to the house.

It would be a long day, indeed.

Heart, Body and Soul tag list: @zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms @call-sign-shark @kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240

Regular tag list: @iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella @caelys @lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24 @kmc1989

Tommy Shelby tag list: @50svibes

#Tommy Shelby #Tommy shelby x oc #Nina Ferrante #Peaky Blinders #Peaky Blinders oc

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demonslayedher · 3 years ago

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Hi! What are your opinions on Kanao? Like how her trauma was dealt with/developed, how she was just characterized in general? I sort of want to write a fic and I was wondering if you have any tips on how you would write her?

Gut reaction opinion: She’s baby.

But, to think more deeply on Kanao (a few thousand words more), I hope you don’t mind me borrowing a few lines from one of my own fics about the pre-canon Butterfly Mansion:

“Deep down inside, Tsuyuri may have always had the spirit of a Flower Breath user. She withered early in life, but she’s got roots, slowly, slowly strengthening her. She’s got Kanzaki to prepare food for limber and strong limbs, little ones to shade and protect, and a shower of love to help her grow. Deep in her heart, sleeping quietly, she may possess the will of a weed.” “The Wasp's Nest” – Chapter 5

If I bring up this fic a lot, it’s because it’s the result of all the questions I’ve asked about Shinobu, Aoi, and Kanao, especially in light of the Taisho Secret before Chapter 164 which details how Kanao learned Flower Breath by watching, and despite not thinking for herself, she decided of her own accord to do something as drastic as joining the Final Selection. I was stunned by that Taisho Secret, as without it, I would have interpreted Shinobu and Kanao's relationship completely differently, with Kanao having been raised to use Breath Technique and been told to go participate in the Final Selection.

Some of my reasons for that: 1. In the flashback extra chapter of Shinobu complaining to Kanae about Kanao being unable to think for herself, she says its “dangerous.” I had misremembered this as being in reference to taking her to battle, though the actual text doesn’t necessarily imply that. 2. In Chapter 100, Gotou describes Kanao as a seriously weird kid who doesn’t even talk, and that she’s been made to fight demons ever since she was a child. 3. The fact that we had zero indication of Kanao having made a choice on her own prior to Tanjiro’s influence on her.

The most damning evidence of the three of these is Gotou’s comment, though it’s possible to explain this in-universe as Gotou’s erroneous assumption. He’s not far off, as the other little girls might not have been forced to fight demons (perhaps for lack of aptitude) but they do have to work as nurses for slayers with gruesome injuries. What’s interesting is that in the manga, we aren’t presented with Kanao’s back story until after hearing that she makes decisions by flipping a coin, whereas Ufotable shaped our perception of the coin flipping scene with Tanjiro by giving Kanao’s back story and Kanae’s “when she meets a boy” commentary an episode earlier. (Also, the glittery-eyed moment with the wind sweeping by her is anime-only, and they removed the part with Kiyo startling her and making her fall off the engawa.) A part of me suspects this change in presentation order is because Kanao was a hard character for Gotouge to get right. Wani-sensei probably wasn't decisive on the skirt length and then blamed it on Maeda, I bet. There was a vision in mind for Kanao all along (no pun intended), but like the rest of the cast, she was extreme in ways that didn’t totally come across without more explicit explanation, and Gotouge might have gotten to know her better over the course of writing her. I also suspect that, in light of the cruel realities of fighting demons and the strictness that requires, and already being a world in which children often undergo grueling Breath technique training, the original intention might had been for Kanae to have taught her Flower Breath all along. However, this idea might had gotten ret-conned via Taisho Secret to soften the image of the Kochou girls and show them raising orphaned girls purely out of the goodness of their hearts, not to pass on their demon fighting legacy to the next generation of swordsmen, even though this is exactly what we see Shinobu doing by raising Kanao as her Tsuguko.

While I’m not an expert in trauma and recovery (and I look for a story to be convincing as opposed to realistic), what I found most jarring in Kanao’s development was the switch from Shinobu as “Shihan” (Master) to Shinobu as “Neesan,” and if it was always meant to be a “Neesan” relationship all along, then why did only Kanao, among all the other Butterfly Mansion girls, get this extra level of closeness? Those were questions I wanted to wrestle with in fic, which was why I created Tsuguko OCs to try to unravel how the Butterfly Mansion dynamic became the way it was (ultimately that fic is just my own personal take on how canon might had come about, but in the end it is still fanfic and can’t speak for canon, and everyone is entitled to their own imagination on how to work with any given character in fic. I still like my version, though).

So, with this as background for how I am most curious about Kanao’s development, let’s look at her from a chronological perspective with what clues canon provides.

Childhood: Sucked.

According to the second fanbook, Kanao was the eighth of eleven children, we know that at least a couple of her brothers died, and their bodies were just left around to be cold by morning. They were especially punished if they cried, which was why Kanao desperately tried to avoid that. She refined a skill of narrowly avoiding being hit in her vital spots, but one day, it was all too much, and something in her snapped, and she didn’t feel anything anymore.

We do see some light return to her eyes when she encounters the Kochou sisters. By that time, she is covered in filth and bugs, so much so the man who expects to make money off of her doesn’t even want to be physically near her. To expand on this, I’ve copied about half of this post of random Kanao thoughts: I was reading the section in this book about Kanao being sold as a child, and they theorized that between being sold to a factory or do agricultural labor or being sold into prostitution, she was most likely sold into prostitution, for she could be sold into prostitution to be a Kamuro at a younger age than she could had been sold to other places. Her parents likely could had gotten a higher upfront price for her this way (somewhere around the range of 1M-3M yen in modern currency) and gotten rid of her earlier. This makes me wonder if the reason we only see brothers in her flashbacks is because any older sisters were already long gone, and they had to hang onto the boys until around age 12 when they could legally work in factories. As for the man who bought her finding her so dirty that he kept her on a rope, the book proposes that perhaps like the Yarite of the Ogimoto-ya spotting a beauty like Inoko under all the ugly makeup, he also had a good eye for spotting diamonds in the rough and getting them for cheap. As for Kanao’s age, this is a bit of a mystery to me, as there is a big difference between her height and Shinobu’s, implying that Kanao is very, very young. However, I think there’s only a four year window in which this encounter could had possibly taken place, and given that Kanae is wearing that haori (though it’s possible she wore it since before becoming a Pillar) and Shinobu seems drawn more similar to the flashback in which Kanae dies than in the light novel chapter when the freshly orphaned girls meet bother Himejima, that makes me narrow it down to more like a 2-year window, and to keep Kanao on the very young side, I’m making a big assumption by saying she’s a very scrawny 10-year-old.

But it’s just so hard to see this Shinobu as 12! I tell you, one of the facts that shakes me the most, still!!! Is that when canon takes place, Shinobu is 18 and Kanao is 16. SIXTEEN!!!?? But… but she’s baby… but also, like how do they even know that!?!? She didn’t know her own birthday, so they picked they day they found her (which Ufotable totally did not follow, as they set this against winter scenery and the day they took her home was May 19). So were they like, “so how old are you? Aoi’s age?” and Kanao didn’t deny it, so they just decided, okay, she’s the same age as Aoi (even though she clearly seems younger, it must be due to undernourishment and trauma, right??? Did they not see she’s baby???)

So anyway. Baby who they have decided is only two years younger than Shinobu needs a name. We do not know if Kiyo, Sumi, or Naho were around yet, but Aoi sure was, though not in a Corp uniform yet. We also do not know what Aoi’s relationship with the Butterfly Mansion was in the first place. Aoi has her own story and we can make guesses but we will never know it. What we do know is that the four girls made a game of letting Baby choose her name, writing some ideas for names down (and I assume having read them aloud to her as I doubt she’d have ever been taught to read—she probably got a lot of education to keep her busy after entering the mansion). Among the first names, Shinobu added some fishy names that she didn’t realize would sound weird, and Kanao was about to go for “Kamasu” (barracuda) when Aoi swept it out of her reach. As for surnames, they let her pick this out too and gave her options that included “Kochou” and “Kanzaki” but she went for the rare (but existent) surname Tsuyuri. As for Kanao’s name sounding so close to Kanae’s, there is a theory in the Japanese fandom that there is a pun woven into it which shows Kanae’s wishes for Kanao.

Kanao doesn’t go out of her way to interact, and but will cooperatively do whatever she’s told. As a reminder, she was in such a state that even with her stomach growling with hunger, she won’t eat unless she’s told to (probably a rule around her family home about not eating without permission). With all her sense of suffering having snapped, she might not had even recognized that’s she felt hungry, and I’m willing to interpret her as having had other emotions, but being unable to recognize them. After all, years later when she’s slaying demons, she is still convinced that everything is “whatever” so there’s no need for her to decide a thing; it has been 5 to 7-ish years since Kanae told her to make decisions with the coin and Kanao has been doing exactly that for this whole time. At some level, Kanao has chosen via indecision to remain as she is, giving herself no pressure to get in touch with her own feelings.

However, she does have them.

When Kanae died, Kanao was distressed, and recognized this—was even troubled by the fact that she was distressed, and felt she should be crying, but could not. This was a moment when Kanao was forced to recognized that there was something wrong with herself, despite having given herself permission—by way of indecision—to remain in a numb “whatever” state in which she doesn’t need to face her own heart, and the pain it carries. She wasn’t only experiencing a physical inability to cry due to her history having to keep from getting physically harmed, but was forced to peer into her own Pandora’s Box. While we wasn’t aware of it, at the time she was probably facing a decision: open the box more, or close it? By way of indecision, it stayed as it was.

Kanao really couldn’t help that she felt pain and sympathy and righteous anger, especially when seeing (specifically, according to that aforementioned Taisho Secret) how Aoi and the little girls had lost their families to demons, and how Shinobu lost her parents, her sister, and her Tsuguko to demons. Kanao knew she had to do something, but since she wasn’t good at nursing work like the other girls were, she became a demon slayer. THIS WAS A DECISION. The Taisho Secret makes it absolutely clear that this was Kanao’s will, even if Shinobu worried that this was a decision Kanao made because of the environment she was in instead of this being a decision Kanao wanted.

So maybe the voice in Kanao’s heart is small, and she still relies on the coin even for small things like whether or not she wants to train with the boys (the coin said not, at least in the anime, because the anime added tons more breathing room (no pun intended) to the Functional Recovery Arc) and whether or not to say anything to Tanjiro (the coin said yes). However, these are pretty innocuous decisions; Kanao has zero confidence in deciding what she wants, and is used to not even asking herself. It’s easier not to. It’s also easier not to get emotionally involved with other people…

…because Kanao has does care very, very deeply for other people.

While I considered more about Kanao’s potential relationship with her other siblings on this Ask, what I want to focus on here is that Kanao was of course scared for her own physical safety, but she had to watch her siblings suffer and die. Kanao, who was willing to risk her life because of the injustice she felt for her new housemates/sisters-ish, probably could no longer take helplessly watching her siblings perish.

I really like that one of the ways Ufotable added to her story was in a scene where the Kamaboko boys are training together, Kanao is watching, and Shinobu suggests she join, after all, they’re from the same batch (translation: You need friends, Kanao). Kanao silently smiles and bows and nopes off to the side (which Shinobu probably was resigned to expecting), and after pondering them a moment, Kanao flips the coin. The kicker is that Kanae instructed Kanao all those years ago to use the coin “when she can’t decide” and in this moment, Kanao really didn’t know if she wanted to train with (aka, bond with) those boys. Caring about people opens oneself to being hurt; it’s safer to feel nothing.

But let’s look back at that big decision Kanao made, resolutely. She went to that Final Selection and came out without a scratch. This was not due to any external pressure put on her or instruction whatsoever, Kanao knew to do this without a doubt. Her selfless empathy and righteous anger drove her to that, no matter how much she believes she doesn’t feel anything.

So anyway, Kanao, in this resoluteness while also being untouchable for as long as she never makes the decision to peer into her own heart, blasts through the first five of ten ranks within a couple months. Baby is bonkers, I hope Shinobu was astounded. But then Tanjiro BOOM-BOOMed his way into Kanao's life with his Functional Recovery period, and took the top of her box and threw it away as forcefully as he threw her coin. Kanao’s locked away emotions stood no chance.

Let’s be clear, Kanao might had fallen in love with Tanjiro in that scene, but it wasn’t until his declaration of how he was going to wrestle that box open one away or another—I mean, not give up if the first coin toss failed. No, Kanao was emotionally invested for other reasons. It was all a safe, if not awkward conversation until Tanjiro took possession of her coin, and Kanao fretted about having given someone the power to make decisions for her which might have emotional consequences; until this point it’s always been easy to follow instructions as long as she’s numb to the results either way. She’s put herself in a vulnerable position by letting Tanjiro hold that coin, which is for when Kanao is emotionally invested in something enough to not be able to decide something. But then when Tanjiro tosses it, she’s eager to know what fate will decide. On the one hand, she’s terrified of the result Tanjiro wants. Listening to her own heart means being vulnerable, to care, to suffer. But on the other hand, she does want this, but has been too scared this whole time to make the decision to do anything with that partially open box. Having someone else force the decision on her is what she’s been pining for all this time, a push which neither Kochou sister ever gave her, hoping she’d come around in her own time.

And then, once the box is open and the decision is made, Kanao’s changes are fast.

At least, in comparison to the numb-by-virtue-of-having-decided-nothing state she in for years, her changes are relatively rapid. It’s not overnight, but as Kanao learns to confront her own vulnerability, she is likewise able to better understand what she likes, and what she wants. Fanbook 1 tells us that she used to be happy just to sit and stare out into space when not training o on missions, but lately she’s been actively blowing bubbles (BABYYYY), helping cook, buying little candies and presents for everyone back at the mansions when she’s sent to run errands, and poking the pads of cat’s paws (BAABBBYYYYY). Now that she’s open to positive emotions too, she’s exploring the world with wonder for the first time. (BAAAAAAAABBBBBBYYYYY.)

This development as a human being seems to have come at the expense of her progression in the Corp, but Shinobu likely does not push this at all, now that Kanao is finally coming around and expressing her own tastes and interests (and defying a Sound Pillar’s orders, as one does). I dedicated a whole post to pondering how and why her accession through the ranks slowed so dramatically after she got Tanjiro’ed, including pondering in more detail why was at those particular ranks. We also see in the light novels that Kanao is progressing in her friendships with Aoi (who still found it hard to communicate with Kanao even after all this time) and Inosuke, whom she goes so far as to have an argument with when he’s being insensitive about Kiyo being distraught over losing one of her butterfly hairpieces from Kanae (righteous anger!), but when appreciative of him later, she asks Aoi to help her make tempura for him. Within the pages of serialized manga, Kanao can even listen to her heart when it wants everyone to SHUT UP because Tanjiro is sleeping. We see time and time again how Kanao’s deep emotions stem from how much she cares about others.

A big turning point, one which Shinobu points out, is when Kanao verbalizes an “I want” statement. She wanted to train with her own Shihan. This is when Kanao graduates from doing things for others like an extension of doing what other people would want her to do, to taking up her own space in the world. This when Shinobu can finally feel that Kanao can act as her own person, but this means she can also be trusted with the full responsibility of a Tsuguko.

(Quick tangent here. Kanao totally took part in the other Pillar Trainings and I wish we could had seen how it went. Any bad blood between her and Uzui? Blowing through Muichiro’s training like its nothing and making everyone else watching feel as inadequate? Her greatest difficulty in Flexibility Training being surviving a hug that’s too tight? Showing up to Snake Pillar training and hitting it off with a friendly snake only to have the Pillar say his training isn’t suitable for girls and sending her on her way? The meditation with the Rock Pillar being refreshing but then who knows if and how she succeeded at moving the rock? Showing up ready for hard training with the Wind Pillar but he goes very obviously easy on her because he doesn’t want to be the one to harm Kanae’s adoptive sister? No wonder Kanao would have wanted to train with her Shihan if she lost out on so much of it elsewhere! But at least she got to see a snake and that was cool, right?)

So. Kanao is now getting instructions from her Shihan which are hard to stomach (again, no pun intended), but it’s the true test of her abilities now to follow these instructions while also having vulnerable emotions.

Growing up: Sucks.

Even if she was prepared, Kanao is consumed with righteous anger and a slew of other ugly emotions when Shinobu is killed right in front of her, and this is when Kanao really must step up and live out her decision to be a demon slayer. That means keeping her cool, not being numb. That means making decisions in the moment, including social decisions to keep Douma distracted. I don’t think she planned everything she said to him; that was the ugly depths of Kanao’s heart open and doing all the talking when she told him how she felt about him. There was zero hesitation in saying any of it. Even if she was still in the habit of flipping a coin by that point in the story, she wouldn’t have felt even an itch of temptation for it because she felt those words so strongly. Taking her own place in the world means not only knowing her own likes, but also discerning her dislikes.

And man, she slays and slays hard. While the fight against Douma is impressive enough as it is (and yes, unlocking her ability to cry at the end of it (right before that big Taisho Secret reveal) is indeed a major moment in her character arc, as she’s finally been able to unlock that last hidden piece of vulnerability), the fight against Muzan? Everyone else went down, down to bits and pieces, she is deeply shredded with injuries that were too fast to avoid, but she still managed to avoid getting hit in her vital areas and, even if she fell to her knees, she did the best at standing her ground. When I had originally read that chapter (that awful, heartbreaking Chapter 191) I took this as Gotouge not wanting to rip the girls apart as viciously as the boys, which was why Kanroji was already removed from the fight, but haha… hahahaha…. Clearly this was never a concern and I was naïve. No. Kanao was not lucky. Kanao was acting on deeply rooted trauma and narrowly avoided getting hit in a “bad place.”

Sorry, my writing is getting all over the place as I’m mentally reliving this arc and how much pain it put me through as I was following week to week. My gosh, though, can we give it up for that Kakushi who was charging in to save her without a shred of hesitation? Charging straight toward a direct hit from Kibutsuji Muzan himself? Kanao was totally doing her best, deciding as hard as she could to stand up and keep fighting, she wanted more than anything to do that but she physically could not.

So anyway. After this, Kanao disappears for a while, which is why I called it when I suspected Kanao might be the key to dealing with demon!Tanjiro. I was right although for totally unexpected reasons, but dang, THAT WAS AWESOME. The final, defining Breath of this whole manga was Kanao’s, it was her moment, and she was amazing. She was still bleeding from her abdomen and limping and gasping for air (this is our 24-hour Total Concentration Breath pro, you know panting like that is a bad sign) but she knew she could do it and she did it. You’re amazing, Baby. I know I’m getting off-track, but if we bring this back to being a moment of characterization for her…

…Kanao, at some level, still believes in fate.

She believes in a reason for things happening, like every time she flipped the coin, the universe was making a better decision than she could. When she knows what she needs to do in this moment, she feels this must be the reason fate left her with one eye left. She is still a deeply emphatic person who cares about the welfare of others before her own; as she approaches the Kamado siblings she’s moved with pity for them.

Zero hesitation.

Kanao has reached a point of peace with herself that can she act on these feelings, which is what points in her in the direction of wanting to practice medicine. Although being vulnerable makes her open to pain, it makes her open to joy, she and doesn’t hesitate in embracing what she likes—and we can assume, she doesn’t hesitate about what she wants, either. The fact that she believes in fate may be something that helps her. It wouldn’t have been possible for her while she was numb to everything, but now she sees how good things came from the painful sacrifices, and she’s ready for all the suffering and joys life still has ahead. While every fic writer is welcome to take their own approach because that is how fic works, I choose to write my post-canon Kanao with a generally positive outlook. I don't write her with survivor's guilt; instead of wishing she could had died in her sister's place she wishes that no one had to die in the first place, and she remains filled with gratitude for her sisters. In the case of TanKana developments, I write her as knowing what she wants, being decisive about it, and embracing the joys as well as the suffering. I was never really sold on her being a capable doctor if she's freshly (near) blinded and never showed much aptitude for tending the injured slayers before, but I suppose where there's a will there's a way, and Kanao's got the will of a weed.

#tsuyuri kanao #kny fandom theories and meta #I really do love Kanao though her development really is jarring if you're not reading deeply into it #anyway tldr #she's baby

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