#<- probably gonna keep using this tag until a month has passed since release

[merlyybird]

yk i was wondering if my deltarune obsession would die down over the course of a couple weeks but as it stands every morning i still need to look at like 15 Tenna Images as a routine akin to breakfast

[blackmissfrizzle]

Wet His Beard

Pairings: Stucky x black!reader

Summary: Requested by @morganan03- Can you make a Stucky story based on WAP by Cardi b ft. Megan thee Stallion

Warnings: Smut, duh lol

A/N: Ask and you shall recieve. Anyway imma make this a submission to my 2k follower celebration & bad bitch challenge.

Ever since Cardi B and Megan thee Stallion released WAP you have been obsessed. Constantly playing the song, dancing to it, and saying random lyrics out loud. But what you loved the most about it was all the sex you were getting from it.

Your favorite thing was to do was to text the lyrics to your boyfriends. It always ended up exactly how you wanted…non-stop orgasms. Sometimes it wasn’t even about the sex, it was about their reactions, especially in public.

Yeah, you fuckin’ with some wet-ass pussy

Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy

Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy

It was family dinner with the Avengers went you sent that text to Steve and Bucky. As you continued to eat, you watched them until they pulled out their phones. Steve saw the text first and instantly turned red, almost choking on his food. His eyes drifted to you and he gave you a shy smile. Bucky on the other hand gave you a cheeky grin and began to eat his meal much faster.

Certified freak, seven days a week

Wet-ass pussy, make that pullout game weak

“Shit! This is some good ass pussy.” The boys just got back from a mission, still hopped up on adrenaline and when they got that text from you, they knew they were about to prove you wrong. Steve and Bucky loved to put you in your place, but tonight it wasn’t gonna happen. You were gonna make them weak in the knees like they do to you all the time.

Bucky already didn’t last long. After being gone too long and your rare dirty talk had him blowing his load. Steve took his turn and started giving it to you, but you could tell he wouldn’t last long either. It has been two months since y’all been apart and the first time back was always the quickest, but you didn’t mind at all.

“Its okay, Stevie. Daddy Bucky already came. Why don’t you mix yours with his? Fill me up real nice.”

“Oh, you little minx,” Bucky grabbed your face and sloppily kissed you as Steve thrusted into you, making you cum again. “What was that doll?” Steve mocked you, not losing his rhythm. That is until you started to squeeze around him. Then he was cumming all inside of, making you feel complete. “Told you I make your pullout game weak.” You mumbled before passing out.

Put him on his knees, give him somethin’ to believe in

The boys saw your text after their training session. They ran back to the room only to see you pleasuring yourself in the shower. “Let us help you with that.” Bucky was the first to shed his clothes and join you on the shower. He lowered himself to his knees, not minding the scolding water hitting his back.

“Such a pretty pussy.” Bucky ran his nose along your slit. “Of course, it is. Look at the pretty girl it belongs to.” Steve praised you, leaving kisses along your neck. It wasn’t long before you were coming undone from Bucky’s expert tongue and Steve’s exalting praises. Then the boys switched positions making sure they both pleased you with their tongues and words.

Today you wanted to try something a little different. Steve and Bucky just returned from a mission and they were doing their reports. They hated writing reports, especially Bucky. He tried to get out of them any way he could, sometimes even resulting to trying to bribe Steve to write it for him. So, you decided to give them some motivation to finish.

First, you sent them a picture of you cupping your bikini covered sex. Instantly, you saw the bubbles pop up.

Bucky: Its not nice to tease, doll!

You: It’s called motivation.

You: He got a beard, well, I’m tryna wet it

Steve: Give us 15 minutes

15 minutes sounded like a reasonable time to you, but you wanted to tease the boys some more, so you sent them a picture of your hand inside of your bikini bottoms.

Bucky: 10 MINUTES!

Steve: No, Buck.

Bucky: 😭😭😭

Steve: Make it 5.

From there the guys didn’t respond anymore. Probably because they were really trying to make that 5-minute deadline. Either way, you prepared for their arrival.

“Doll!?” You heard Bucky and Steve yell accompanied by the sound of running. “Where are you?” Steve asked in a sing-song tone. “We don’t prefer to hunt for our food. Make this easier for yourself or we’ll have a repeat of our last time.” Steve threatened.

Ahh, your last time in bed with Steve and Bucky was torturous. They edged you throughout the night until you a mumbling, crying mess, making you cum the hardest you ever had before. Evil little shits.

Bucky was tired of this little game. He had plans to be balls deep in you by now. “Y/N, stop play-”

The water went straight into Bucky’s mouth, some of it dripping down to his beard. Once you were satisfied with how wet you got Bucky, Steve was next. He was still in shock that he made an easy target.

It wasn’t until you were done spraying them that they said anything. “What the hell, babe?” Steve wiped the water from his face.

“What?” You played dumb and shrugged your shoulders. “I said I wanted to wet your beards. I didn’t say how. Just consider it a little payback.”

The boys finally saw the water guns on the lounge chairs. Both of them grabbed one and wasted no time to point them in your direction. “Run,” Bucky simply stated before they pulled their triggers.

Squealing you ran and followed his advice, but it wasn’t long until you felt ice cold water hitting your back.

Bucky and Steve showed you no mercy. Whenever they found you hiding, there was double streams of water hitting you. Thankfully, you were able to surprise them a couple of more times and get them both, but ultimately you didn’t stand a chance against the two super soldiers.

Eventually, the water ran out and the water gun fight was forgotten and promises from earlier were remembered. Bucky scooped you up in his arms and began carrying you back to your room. “My beard’s dried now. What about yours, Stevie?”

Steve ran his fingers through his beard. “Dry as hell. Looks like someone is going to have to help with that.” His voice got dangerously low, making you shiver.

Carding your fingers through both of their beards, you bargained with the two. “As long as you two keep the stealth suits on, I’ll put this pussy right on your face. Swipe your nose like a credit card.” Yeah, WAP definitely changed your life.

Tagging: @angrythingstarlight @starrynite7114 @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @my-rosegold-soul @ljstraightnochaser @jackburtonsays @marvelmaree

[amisarchive]

Danny/Kara [The Last Ship], AU, Snippet 1

Kara can organize her life into before and after. Before and After her father died. Before and After her mother started drinking. Before and After she joined the Navy.

It’s something that has worked well for her over the years. Compartmentalizing her life into neat little boxes she can square away in her mind and pull out at random if needed.

It works until it doesn’t. It’s not that she doesn’t try to make it all fit but there is no box that will fit Danny Green. Before or After.

+

They are three days into a three-month cruise to the Arctic when she first meets Danny. Sure, she’s seen him around the ship before, from the corner of her eye, in passing. But it’s on day three that she first notices him, as a person, not just as another one of the self-important SEALs running around her ship like they own the place.

She’s on her way to the wardroom for a quick lunch break when she finds the p-way blocked. She is used to having to squeeze past the bigger bodies of the men she serves with on a regular basis, it’s nothing new, so she has no qualms squeezing past Carlton who’s taking up all the space. Only her way is still blocked as she runs straight into another body.

Big hands come up to steady her and she can feel her cheeks heat when her eyes wander up the body in front of her until she reaches the smirking face of one of the SEALs.

‘Lieutenant Foster.’

There is no way he can read her name tag with how close they are pressed together, and she’s honestly surprised he knows her name. She can’t say the same for herself.

Kara just keeps staring at the man in front of her for a moment, chiseled jawline, blond hair, blue-green eyes dancing with amusement. Realizing she’s still standing way too close, just looking at him, she clears her throat and steps back, shoulders squaring.

‘Apologies, Lieutenant-‘ She assumes that’s his rank, since he was obviously in the wardroom with Carlton and doesn’t look to be much older than herself.

‘Green.’, he supplies helpfully, the smirk never wavering as he drops his hands from her arms. He steps aside, clearing the way for her and she ducks her head, anything to avoid eye contact. ‘Thank you, Lieutenant.’

Behind her, she can hear Carlton chuckle and she takes a second to glare at him which seems to shut him up though he still looks rather amused, especially when her head swivels back immediately when the SEAL speaks again. ‘Have a nice lunch, Lieutenant Foster.’

She’s pretty sure she’s blushing again when she looks back up at him. ‘Thank you, Lieutenant Green.’

Beside them Carlton turns with a laugh before walking away. She’s still hovering in the p-way, looking up into the admittedly handsome face of Lt. Green when thankfully someone’s coming their way.

‘I should-‘

She points towards the wardroom and he nods at her with a grin.

‘I’ll see you around, Lieutenant.’

She shakes her head with a smile when he saunters off. She chalks it up to low blood sugar and hunger when her stomach flutters and she sways a little when she finally steps into the wardroom for lunch.

+

The thing is, Danny is flirty and he’s charming. She’s not immune to it and she’s okay with that. Their cruise is unspectacular enough that it is a welcome distraction, a little harmless flirtation to waste some time.

Except Danny has also no concept of personal space when it comes to her and that’s- it’s proving to be a bit of a problem. Not because she doesn’t like it because the truth is, she kind of does. But it’s been long enough since her last steady boyfriend that her body reacts to the lingering touches and playful brushes, whether she wants it to or not.

It’s distracting in an entirely different way than the flirting is and leaves her feeling flustered in the most inopportune of moments. Like when they are playing cards in the crew lounge and he leans just that bit closer to get a peak of her cards and she shoves him away with a little laugh, her cheeks pinking as his eyes never leave hers. Like when he’s standing so close to her when she’s picking out her lunch that she can feel his breath at the back of her neck and she almost drops her plate.

It gets to a point where Carlton puts on a faux stern look and starts reciting fraternization rules to them. It’s meant to be a joke, but she can see how it must look to bystanders and she hasn’t worked this hard to make it this far just to throw it away over a man.

So she tries to put a stop to it. They are colleagues, friends at best, so it should not be an issue; as far as she can tell, he’s just as invested in his career as she is in her own. It’s not hard to stay away from the crew lounge or socializing in general with the upcoming weapons test keeping her late in CIC for almost all her shifts anyway.

It’s probably around 2130 when she makes it back to her cabin after a much-needed shower. Her hair is still wavy from being wet and her fingers snag on a few tangles when she combs them through it. It’s going to be a mess, trying to wrangle it into a bun tomorrow, but it’s worth it for the relief of the perpetual tension headache that sets in after a long day of keeping her hair up.

She’s just changed into an old tee and shorts, ready to settle in with the book she’s started three times but never finished, when there’s a knock on her cabin door. She mentally prepares for the emergency waiting on the other side of the door, ready to smooth her hair back and put the uniform back on.

She’s still not prepared to find Danny standing in front of her door.

‘Lieutenant Green?’

She remains carefully neutral, not sure if this is actually work-related or if he is really about to take this into rule-breaking territory they are not going to be able to come back from. Danny takes a second to check the p-way left and right before taking a step closer, flashing her that boyish grin, holding up a deck of cards.

‘Danny-‘, she starts protesting but steps back anyway, allowing him inside the small space. He closes the door behind him, leaning back against it. He seems even bigger in the enclosed space of her cabin, like he’s taking up all the space, sucking out all the oxygen, and it’s not helping her regain her composure at all that he’s just watching her, his eyes roving over her body, head to toe.

‘Granderson is working nights on bridge, right?’

Kara takes a breath before straightening. A part of her is thrilled that he had obviously planned ahead for this, to catch her alone, but the rational part of her is trying to figure out how to dissolve the situation. ‘What are you doing here, Danny?’

‘You missed the last three games and you still owe me a rematch.’

She watches him for a moment, the way he fidgets with the deck in his hands, his relaxed stance, the way his eyes keep dropping down from her face. She crosses her arms over her chest reflexively, acutely aware of the lack of bra and the thin cotton of her t-shirt, and he grins at her.

‘You know, I came to play cards but if that’s where you want this to go…’

It breaks the tension, and she laughs. ‘You wish.’

It doesn’t escape her notice that he doesn’t respond, just subtly shifts from one foot to the other. She sinks down on the edge of her bunk, one leg bent, and looks up at him expectantly. ‘You’re gonna deal or not?’

It takes a second for him to move, toeing off his boots, before settling opposite her, mirroring her position. He has to slouch a bit to fit into the bunk, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he starts to shuffle the cards.

They make it through two games of gin rummy, before Kara can’t suppress a yawn anymore. She stretches with it, only realizing belatedly that it makes her shirt ride up, and sure enough Danny is staring by the time she looks at him. She doesn’t really blame him, she’s done her fair share of just staring at him since they’ve met, even if she would deny it to her dying day.

‘You want me to go?’ His voice is unexpectedly soft, and as he reaches over to brush a stray strand of hair out of her face, she closes her eyes for a second, allowing herself a moment to fantasize what would happen next if they weren’t under the same command on a Navy ship.

She releases a breath as his hand falls away and when she opens her eyes again, he’s still at the other side of her bunk. ‘No, but you probably should.’

‘Kara-‘ He shifts, closer, and she catches his hand in hers before it touches her.

‘You know we can’t, right?’

His thumb brushes circular patterns over her knuckles and she doesn’t have it in her to pull away. Danny sighs in frustration as he lets go and starts putting his boots back on before pushing to stand. ‘The rules are stupid; we are not even working together.’

She follows him and she’s once again struck by how tall Danny is, how much he towers over her, the feeling only amplified by the confined space of the small cabin. She reaches up, resting her hand on his chest. ‘I would if I could, okay?’

It’s hard, being so close to him, looking up at him and not closing the remaining distance between them. His heart is thundering against her palm and he looks away for a moment. ‘That kinda makes it worse.’

And hell, as if Kara doesn’t know. Her life would be so much easier if she didn’t want to cross that line just as much as he does. ‘Danny-‘

His eyes widen when she presses closer, invading his space. She lets her arms go around his middle, resting her cheek to his chest, and his entire body tenses for a moment until his arms close around her shoulders, pulling her impossibly closer. She fits perfectly against his body, tucked just under his chin, and she holds on for much longer than initially planned, until Danny clears his throat and gently pulls away. ‘I should really-‘

He gestures blindly to the door behind him and it’s endearing how flustered he suddenly seems. Kara grins at him.

‘Yeah, just let me check if everything is clear.’ He steps aside to let her pull open the door and peek into the p-way. ‘Okay, go.’

He brushes past her and hovers outside in the p-way for just a second, his lips curving into a smile. ‘You think, we can make it till we’re back on land?’

She snorts, before moving to close the cabin door. ‘Good night, Lieutenant.’

She can still hear the deep rumble of his laugh from the other side of the door as she draws in a few deep breaths to slow her racing heart. She will make it, if it’s the last thing she does.

+

Kara is walking down the p-way with the latest weapons test results in her hand a few weeks later when suddenly her world shifts. It takes her a moment to process the sudden shift sideways, the hand around her arm, the supply closet she finds herself in. Danny, grinning at her, already standing way too close.

‘Danny-‘

Kara presses back into the wall behind her, but it does almost nothing to give her more space.

‘You know…’ Danny closes the little space she has just created, towering over her, hand against the wall just beside her head. ‘…we could be having so much fun if you just said yes.’

She smiles up at him, coyly, resting her hand against his chest. A smile plays over his lips and she knows he is hoping she’ll finally cave. She angles her head up, their lips only a breath apart, and she feels a sense of victory when his eyes flutter shut in anticipation.

She moves closer still, bringing her lips to his ear. ‘In your dreams, Danny.’

He gives a low growl, the sound reverberating against her palm, before he pushes away from the wall. ‘You’re killing me, Kara.’

She straightens, adjusting her uniform. ‘I know you’re kind of new to this but we are still on a Navy ship.’ She brushes past him, patting him on the shoulder. ‘And there’s no fraternizing on this ship.’

She doesn’t bother explaining again that even being here together, alone, this close, playing with fire, is already breaking the rules. She knows he knows.

He catches her wrist in his hand before she can get far enough away. ‘We will get off this ship eventually.’

She grins at him, twists her hand lightly out of his hold, before leaning down to pick up her test reports. ‘Yeah, eventually. Are you gonna join me for lunch or do you have some super-secret trip to the ice with the crazy bird lady to prep for?’

‘Not what I had in mind, but I’ll take lunch.’

She checks the p-way before stepping into it. ‘Three weeks, Green. I have faith in you.’

He follows, still maybe a bit too close, and they head to the wardroom. He holds the door open for her and she brushes by him with a small smile of thanks. Her smile falters when she sees Carlton sitting at the far end of the table, watching her with an amused expression on her face. She quickly scans the room but there’s only one more person, one of Danny’s guys, Benz, she thinks, the one with the dog.

She gets herself a plate before plunking down next to Carlton, watching as Danny does the same and joins Benz at the other end of the table.

‘Not what I had in mind.’, she mutters under her breath and beside her Carlton chuckles before leaning closer. ‘So, you and Green, that’s happening?’

Kara almost drops her fork, as she turns to look at him. ‘Excuse me?’

‘You’re not exactly subtle, Kara, neither of you. But I don’t think anyone else has noticed. Yet.’

Kara sets down her fork, chances a glance at Danny who is nodding along to whatever Benz is saying, though his eyes remain solely focused on her.

‘Nothing-‘, she drops her voice, turns in her seat, ‘nothing is happening, Carlton. I can’t risk my career on-‘, she waves her hand in Danny’s general direction, ‘-not even on a snooze cruise like this.’

Carlton bumps his knee against hers under the table. ‘Well, either way, I got your back, girl. Just- be careful, yeah?’

Kara smiles at him with a nod. They have been on several cruises together over the years and Carlton has been a good friend, the person she’s been closest to on ship. It means a lot to know him on her side, come what may.

*

‘Two more days till we’re home. What’s the first thing you gonna do, Green?’

Kara doesn’t falter in her stride on the treadmill at Carlton’s words, but her interest is surely piqued.

Danny’s eyes briefly flicker to her before he drops to the floor from his last pull-up. ‘Shower, with water pressure. Beer, cold. Bed, one that’s big enough to stretch out in.’

Carlton laughs. ‘Still haven’t made a sailor out of you, yet, huh?’

Danny shrugs with a smile and Kara can feel his eyes on her again as she’s doing her best to pretend she isn’t listening. ‘What about you, Lieutenant? First thing?’

She slows her run to a walk, taking a sip from her water bottle. ‘Wouldn’t you like to know.’

Carlton looks at them with amusement.

‘Kara-,‘ Carlton draws her name out pointedly, ‘-will go home, shower, change into something pretty and join us back at the Frog for our welcome home party. As she always does.’

Kara glares at him but there’s no real heat behind it. It’s not a secret and Danny would have figured it out sooner or later anyway; no doubt someone has already invited the MWU to their party by now.

Kara stops the treadmill and takes a moment to run a towel over her face. It gives her a second to prepare for the next attack on her self-control she knows is coming. She still isn’t prepared for Carlton to be suspiciously absent and Danny to be standing in the middle of the room, shirtless nonetheless, just waiting for her.

She allows her eyes to roam a little, over strong shoulders, defined pecs and abs and when she makes it all the way back up to Danny’s face, he’s grinning at her. She clears her dry throat and grabs her water bottle before stepping off the treadmill and closer to him. ‘You think I’ve waited this long just to do this with you here, sweaty, in the gym?’

He shrugs, takes another step closer. ‘Can’t blame a guy for trying.’

He runs a finger down her arm and it sends a shiver down her spine. It’s stupid how much the simple touch affects her, she knows, but she only has so much willpower left after three months of non-stop foreplay.

‘You gonna wear something sexy to the party?’ His voice is low in her ear, his body, his naked chest, so close to her, it’s getting hard to concentrate. She releases a shuddering breath, willing some self-control back into her body, because God knows, she didn’t make it this far to cave now.

‘I’m thinking turtleneck.’ Her voice comes out steadier than expected and he chuckles, his breath ghosting over her neck.

‘Kara-‘

He’s interrupted by Carlton appearing back in the doorway and Kara is thankful as it gives her an excuse to step back, get some distance between her and a still very shirtless Danny.

Carlton smirks as he gestures awkwardly between them. ‘You might wanna wrap -whatever this is - up, we’ve got incoming.’

Danny pulls his shirt back over his head, grinning at Kara as he steps away. ‘Two more days, Foster.’

It’s the longest two days of Kara’s life.

+

‘Damn, girl.’

Carlton pulls her into a loose hug before holding her by her shoulders, giving her a once-over. ‘I take it Green is finally gonna get lucky?’

She punches him in the shoulder, none-too-gently, but he just grins at her. True, she could have opted for the jeans and t-shirt she usually dons for this kind of thing, but the black silk camisole and shorts had felt- right.

‘Has anyone ordered drinks yet?’ she asks as a distraction and Carlton shakes his head.

‘Nah, still waiting on Alisha. And have you seen the crowd?’

He nods to the bar where indeed a lot of people are already gathered. She takes the opportunity to scan the room and beside her Carlton chuckles. ‘He’s not here yet.’

‘I hate you.’ She starts weaving through the crowd towards the bar, ignoring the ‘you love me’ Carlton shouts after her.

It takes ages to get even remotely close enough to the bar to order something. By the time she reaches the bar, the place is packed, loud, people pushing and weaving all around her. She leans up on her tip toes, cranes her neck to see if she can flag down the bartender when someone stumbles into her, big hands bracing on either side of her body on the bar. Her entire body prickles with awareness and there’s jostling behind her and then there’s a wall of hard muscle plastered against her back, fully trapping her against the wood of the bar.

‘This is not a turtleneck.’

She shudders at the warm breath ghosting over her neck, the voice rasping in her ear.

‘Thought you might like this better.’

And while she hasn’t chosen the outfit entirely for that reason, the low growl that rumbles through his chest is enough of a validation of her choice.

‘Oh, I do.’

She shivers when one hand comes to rest on her hip, fingertips just barely grazing skin where they tease under the hem of her camisole. She wriggles back against him – on purpose – pressing her body so much closer to his, and she can’t suppress a smile when he jerks against her in response, hips pressing closer to her still, the groan in her ear chasing goosebumps up her spine.

[wolfsgravity]

I can’t sleep so I’m just thinkin’ about my range of Pokémon romantic F/Os. This series has meant so much to me for so long, and I know F/Os from that source make up a decent portion of my list. I’d feel more embarrassed about it if I didn’t make it abundantly clear that Pokémon is one of the most pervasive influences in my life from an exceedingly young age.

I just. I dunno. I find my collection of Pokémon series F/Os so interesting.

I’m just gonna ramble a bit.

I’m going to talk in Generational order, because my 1am brain couldn’t decipher a more cohesive timeline if it tried.

Giovanni is a funny one. As a kid, his character in the show intimidated me a little. But I really loved Team Rocket on some level. They were my first Pokémon villain organization, and with the Gen III games having Aqua and Magma, I decided pretty early that Team Rocket was my team. I had a stint in Magma since when I was young, I thought I’d specialize in Fire types, but eh it didn’t stick. No team really stuck nearly as much until Team Skull! So I had a lot of time for my intimidation from Giovanni to evolve into a fearful respect, to a mild devotion… by the time I played Let’s Go! and Ultra Moon, I was more than a little excited to see him in game. As in, I would quietly cheer when he appeared on my screen, in some weird giddy manner. It was only a matter of time before I realized I was crushing hard.

Steven Stone (he has a full name so more often than not I use it when referring to him) probably didn’t make the biggest impact on me in the original Gen III games? Hoenn was my favorite region for a while (in part due to pre- “Hoenn confirmed” hype), but he didn’t have a huge role in Ruby/Sapphire. Maybe I noticed him first in Emerald? I wish I could remember my real first inkling of crush on him, because I just remember when I played Omega Ruby… I was already obsessed with him. He showed up for the first time in game and I squealed. I spent the whole game seeking him out and already making romantic passes at him in my around-19-year-old head.

I am counting Grovyle for this, but it bears repeating that my S/I for the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games is a Pokémon too. Those Mystery Dungeon games enamored me as a teen! I got to BE! A POKEMON!! So I probably got Explorers of Time/Darkness for DS not long after it released in 2008. I was so excited to have Gen IV Pokémon to be and battle and recruit, ugh, this game meant so much to me. I will always remember being part of Wigglytuff’s Guild super fondly. And like, as I am super susceptible to mental role play, putting myself in my characters shoes (or lil toe beans I guess) has always been second nature for me. So a dashing Grovyle just jumped into my silly life and was the most honorable and misunderstood character and I am not even joking when I say I fell for him in my first playthrough. And I’ve played through it a lot. I was always jealous of Celebi. I hate every Dusknoir I see to this day. *chefs kiss* Good game.

Gen V is “oops all F/Os” Gen, where to even start..

Just kidding, N is the obvious choice to start for me. He was love at first sight. He just, ugh, he cares about Pokémon SO MUCH. I literally don’t know how to even expand on this. He literally rode the Ferris Wheel with the player character in the game, and I WASNT supposed to interpret that as a date? Wack. It was a date. I love him so damn much. Next question

Elesa comes next because I’ve always thought she was stunning. I mean, duh I guess, she’s canonically a model. Also, Electric types are in my top 3, behind Fairy and somewhat tied with Fire, so she was a woman after my own heart. Her Emolga kinda wrecked my team and I respect that. Also, she loves puns. So again. Woman after my own heart. The only reason she’s still listed as Crush and not as Dating is because she intimidates me. She’s out of my league and I worry she’d only see me as a friend. Well, not “only”, her and Skyla are bffs and that also looks fun. I just. Can’t imagine her romantically being interested in me sometimes. Heh.

Grimsley was a crush that came on yeeeaaaars after his Gen, and it hit me like a freight train. I swear, he made very little impression on me in B/W, because I was young and I was just excited to possibly see N again as champion. I was a little shit, okay. I also never played B2/W2 all the way through, which is a huge stain on my Pokémon record. Anyways. When he showed up in Sun/Moon, I gasped. I was like, that’s a familiar face. Why is he hot now? (The answer is we was always hot, and I just had a few years to grow between games). But like, I kind of tamped it back down? I think I legit tried to tell myself around Sun/Moon era that I can’t keep finding Pokémon characters hot, because I was drooling over another one in Moon. Anywho. Grimsley kept popping up as fanart on my Tumblr dash for a while and by the time I pulled him in Pokémon Masters, I slipped into love. Whoops.

Professor Sycamore, probably not my proudest moment of fandom. He was another one I liked from the very introduction. I made fun of him in equal measure, but I affectionately referred to him as “Professor Hotdad” for an embarrassingly long amount of time. He’s not even the oldest of my Pokémon F/Os. One of my other Pokémon F/Os is canonically a father. But nope. Sycamore was Hotdad. That all said, he did make me smile like a crush-stricken schoolgirl when he talked in game so it wasn’t all just memey objectification. I do love him dearly.

Gen VII! Alola! Guzma! Oh man, like I’d stated earlier, Team Skull really nestled it’s way close to my heart the way no team had since Team Rocket. It wasn’t all because of Guzma, I really did like the group of ragtag misfits banding together and creating a family. Guzma was icing on the cake. Oh boy, he made my heart do funny little flips even when he was threatening me in game. I loved his design, I loved his character, the way he talked, I just. Ugh, I was down bad for ya boy in Moon and Ultra Moon. He’s actually the inspiration behind my main blog url: its-ya-boi-remington. The “Y’all are stupid!” line and face lives in my head rent free at all times. Guzma protection squad.

(Nanu isn’t a romantic so I won’t talk about him here, just know I’m not forgetting him!)

Leon was, believe it or not, my actual first Gen VIII crush. I saw that fashion disaster and felt a warm comfort from him. It didn’t help that I mentally read every character in Galar with some UK/British Isles accent, that sweetened the deal. I was actually gushing to a couple then-friends about Leon while we all played Sword/Shield together and they kind of mocked me about it. They chided me that Leon “doesn’t bat for my team” and said either of them would have a better chance with him if he were real. So I was a little downtrodden about Leon after that for quite a while. It wasn’t until a couple months ago when suddenly it hit me that A- He’s literally fictional and my version of him can like me regardless of what “team he bats for” and B- I’m nonbinary? So rules get thrown out the window, anyone who likes me is both a miracle and some kind of gay whatever way you spin it. So I let myself warm back up to him, though I’m still a little skittish from before.

Piers, I guess, as awful as it sounds, was initially a crush rebound. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’d have been attracted either way. He’s a musician, a SINGER no less, and has that emo/punk vibe. But he’s also gentle and kind. Swoon. But it helped that I had my crush-feelers out full-force for a cutie in game to obsess over since I was still butthurt about my “friends” killing my crush on Leon. Obsess I did, and continue to do. I could probably snap this man over my knee like firewood he’s so lanky, idk why I put that in here but it’s staying. Piers is the one I most imagine jamming out with on a regular basis, and it makes performing for no one a bit more fun 🥰

I’m finally getting tired, I feel like I’ve been typing this for an hour. I probably have been. Ah geez now I gotta tag all these F/Os lmao. Thanks for letting me ramble.

[tightaroundthewebshooter]

any thrill will do

spiderio serial killer au, 1.4k, title from someone new by hozier

warnings: smut, choking, light daddy kink and d/s, some very very light dub-con, gratuitious use of commas. 

tagging: @peterparkerstarker !!! thanks for the motivation and support, ily queen <3 

read on ao3

_________________

Peter smiles, contemplative as he catches the eye of the man who had been watching him all night. He doesn’t really want this one, at least not like that; he’s handsome, and the right age, but he’s bigger and stronger looking than Peter usually goes for. It’s risky, choosing him, but he’s the only one who stands out to him in the small Wednesday crowd and the itch under his skin just can’t wait until the weekend. Yes, he’ll just have to make do.

He practically struts over, slides right up next to him, and plays the part of the innocent, adorable twink so well it’s practically Oscar-worthy. It was at least good enough that it only took about ten minutes of small talk, a well-placed hand on his thigh, and a gently bitten lip to have the man, who said his name was Quentin, agree to come up to his hotel room. Peter almost wants to laugh at how desperate he was, but he wasn’t going to pass up easy prey.

***

The boy is obvious. Beautiful, with drive and raw talent, but glaringly, painfully green. Unsophisticated. Unpolished. Wet behind the ears. He needs him. Needs a mentor, a confidant, a daddy. Quentin will be all of that for him. 

He hadn’t been hard to find, only 4 months since he started killing and he had already made so many mistakes that Quentin was shocked the police hadn’t already caught him, no matter how low-grade and ineffective they were. He had gotten his last two victims from the same bar, and that’s what gave him away.

Peter Parker, 19, doe-eyed and sweet, working two jobs to pay MIT tuition, obsessed with Star Wars. Quentin supposes the innocent looks and soft personality are what made the detectives look over him. Indeed, his first kill was most likely an accident, and the rush of comfort, release from stress, is what made him do it again. 

The boy is impatient too. As soon as Quentin caught his eye he sauntered over, sitting right by him and starting to flirt after barely introducing himself. Arrogant. Luckily for him Quentin isn’t looking to play any games tonight, so when he slides his hand up his thigh and suggests they go to his room, he readily agrees. It hasn’t even been 15 minutes. Easy. 

***

He had been right about the man being strong. The moment the doors shut they’re all over each other, stripping in between aggressive kisses and then he’s pushing him face-first onto the bed and pulling his legs apart like its nothing. It probably is nothing, but Peter is a little bit nervous about the vulnerable position he’s in until the man drops to his knees behind him and starts licking into him. It feels good, fantastic, and Peter lets himself enjoy it for a few minutes, until a finger breaches him and he realizes his time is almost up. The knife is under the pillow on the left side of the bed, and if he’s to reach it, and reach Quentin’s neck, he’s going to need to get on top. A second finger presses in, right against his prostate, and he loses his train of thought, clenching down and trying to push back.

“You wanna ride daddy’s cock, baby?” his voice is low and rumbly and makes him shake, but his head is clear enough for him to realize that this is the perfect opportunity. He nods, frantically, and lets himself be manhandled into position. He’s panting by the end of it, and the rest of his breath is knocked out of him when he’s pulled down onto Quentin’s cock. It’s big, stretching and pushing against his walls, and he has to scramble to get a grip on the man’s chest so he won’t fall over as he gets bounced up and down. It’s so, so good. 

So good he almost forgets what he’s here to do, until a particularly rough thrust from Quentin brings him to his senses. He leans forward and plants on arm by his head, and slips the other underneath the pillow, looking for that heavy leather handle. He doesn’t find it. Panic builds in his chest, and he tries to remember if he had actually put it in position before he went to the bar. Christ, if it isn’t there than where the fuck is it, and what is Peter supposed to do without it? He’s so busy trying to make a new plan that he almost doesn’t notice Quentin stop.

He tries to school his face, and glances down at the man, who’s smirking up at him, but before he can ask why he stopped he says something that makes Peter’s heart stop.

“Looking for something?” 

***

The face he makes is adorable, fear and confusion apparent even as he tries to hide it. He stops his stuttered response almost before it starts by rolling them over and pinning him down, cock still inside of him, and grabbing his throat. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, baby. I know exactly what you are, I’ve been watching you for months.”  he watches with satisfaction as tears well up in his eyes and he shakes his head. He squeezes tighter. “You think you’re so smart? You are, of course, but not that smart. You got sloppy, honey, and you’re lucky it was me who found you first.” he punctuates his words with a roll of his hips, and lets up on his throat so that he could gasp for air. 

“P-Please, you’re not- don’t h-hurt me.” he’s crying for real now, and Quentin wants to coo at how cute it is. “I’m not going to hurt you, Peter, I’m here to help.” he angles his hips on the next thrust, and Peter wails, thrashing around. “You’re cocky, greedy. You need someone to show you what to do. If you keep going like this you’ll get caught within the month.” He glares down at him, and stills his hips to lean down and press a gentle kiss to his tear-stained cheek. 

“But it’s okay, baby, I’m gonna take care of you.” there’s a little bit of hope in his eyes now, even as he whimpers. “Y-you are?” 

It makes him smile, and he resumes rocking into him “Of course I will, you don’t have to worry about anything.” he whines, pushing back against him “P-please-”

“Please what?” 

“Please daddy! I- I need it!” he groans, thrusting a little faster, and tightening his grip again. “Yeah, baby, gonna fucking take care of you, teach you how to be good at this.” Peter’s pulse is hammering under his fingers, and he feels himself getting close “And when you aren’t good…” he cuts his breathing off completely. 

He expected him to struggle, kick, something, but instead he just stares up at him, eyes wide and trusting. “Jesus Christ.” he hisses, “You fucking want it, don’t you?” he lets up again, lets him gasp for a couple of seconds, before speaking “I’m going to squeeze again, and this time I won’t let up until I come, got it?” Peter nods, tilting his head to give him better access. Oh, Quentin’s going to have so much fun with him. 

He starts slamming into him, hard enough to leave bruises on his ass for days, and squeezes his neck without care. Within seconds he’s coming, cock untouched, hole going so tight around him that he follows him right over the edge, filling him to the brim.

When he releases him he stays lax, eyes glassy and unfocused, but he still whines as Quentin pulls out. He ignores it, pulling him into his lap and running his hand through his sweat matted curl, giving him a minute to collect himself. 

“What happens now?”

He smiles, trails his hand from his hair to his mouth, and lets his thumb slip between his lips. “Now, we’re going to go get cleaned up, and I’m taking you home with me. We’ll figure the rest out in the morning.” Peter stops sucking his thumb and gazes at him, eyes still half-lidded “You’re really going to take care of me?” he whispers. and Quentin promises him he will, starts showing it by wiping him down and helping him get dressed. He can’t help but be smug, by the way Peter is already so willing to follow his orders, teaching should be easier than he thought. They’re going to be good together, he can tell. 

[theastrophilearchitect]

WandaVision series review part 3.

You'd think I'd have learnt my lesson now--save the damn draft before you switch tabs to find the tags you want to add. But I haven't. Clearly.

The last two weeks I've posted parts 1 and 2 of my WandaVision review, because, even though by the time this goes up, WandaVision will have ended nearly a month ago, it's still all I can think about. Part 1 contained my initial thoughts and episodes 1-3 breakdown; part 2 contained episodes 4-6 breakdown, and this part will contain my episodes 6-9 breakdown and my final thoughts.

Episode Seven: ‘Breaking the Fourth Wall’ This episode was released on February 19th, with a runtime of still 37 minutes, following a 2000s-style sitcom format heavily influenced by Modern Family. 

Cue the recap, and we open to Wanda waking up in an empty bed. We then cut to an interview-style scene which I assume is based off Modern Family or another sitcom, like the interviews intermingled with reality TV, but there’s nothing to really pick apart; it’s just entertaining. The twins then run into Wanda’s bedroom and tell her their ‘game is freaking out’, and we see their controllers change over and over with that scarlet-TV texture. Billy comments that his head is noisy, an echo of the power shown in episode six, similar to Wanda’s own.

Interview-Wanda then says as punishment for expanding the borders, she plans on taking ‘a quarantine-style stay-cation’, which, written probably in 2019, did not age well. She goes downstairs to make milk, and it transforms between a carton and a bottle. These object shifts may be implying as Wanda expands the borders, she loses more and more control of even the things right beside her--the Hex is falling apart.

Cut to Hayward and SWORD setting up a new camp beside the new border of the Hex, but further back than before, likely to give them more time to move if it happens again.

Vision then wakes up in the circus the original SWORD camp was turned into, and, looking like his synthezoid self, is assumed to be a clown. He then sees Darcy, dressed as an escape artist, but she doesn’t remember him, clearly under Wanda’s control.

Wanda asks the twins if they’ve seen Vision, they ask if she wants them to look for him, and she replies, ‘If he doesn’t want to be here, there’s nothing I can do about it.’ It seems like she’s trying to defer her guilt at what she’s down to the townspeople. The twins then ask about Pietro--’Do not believe anything that man said. He is not your uncle.’ We saw Wanda blast him into a haystack towards the end of the last episode, but now he’s simply vanished. Wanda then laughs that she has none of the answers they expect her to, and makes some nihilistic comments. She uses her magic to open the door to a knock, and enter Agnes, who takes the kids next door to give Wanda some alone time. The furniture then begins to shift into pieces from the other decades, but Wanda fixes it.

Cut to Jimmy and Monica in a military vehicle they stole in the last episode, and Jimmy explains in Darcy’s hacking, she found a secret project called Cataract, to bring Vision back online--to fix the Vision. But it failed, until Wanda brought him back, which was why Hayward was so focused on Vision over Wanda in the Hex. They then meet some non-SWORD military people, who unveil a higher-grade vehicle, presumably for Monica to attempt to safely re-enter the Hex.

God, I love seeing Darcy in this show. She was the only good thing about the first two Thor movies. So Vision zaps Darcy, and she wakes up. They steal a circus vehicle--a transformed SWORD vehicle--and Vision asks her some questions about the Hex she doesn’t actually know the answers to.

The tension really builds in this episode, simply as it cuts between characters in much shorter intervals than in previous ones. We watch a montage of things in Wanda’s house shifting, then cut to an interview, where she explains that she doesn’t know what’s happening. Then, the person behind the camera asks, ‘Do you think maybe this is what you deserve?’ The voice doesn’t sound familiar, but knowing who the interviewer is, I can hear it. Wanda questions this because the interviewer isn’t supposed to talk, then cut to this episode’s advert.

This is for a drug called Nexus--’A unique anti-depressant that works to anchor you back to your reality. Or the reality of your choice.’ ‘Nexus. Because the world doesn’t revolve around you. Or does it?’ As someone who hasn’t actually read any comics, this information is very second-hand, but a Nexus Being in the comics is a powerful being with the power to alter reality and time--essentially in possession of the Infinity Stones’ powers without possessing the Stones themselves. This brings with it the implication that is what Wanda is--more than just a girl who got powers from the Mind Stone, but Nexus Beings aren’t elaborated on in the rest of the show.

Cut to Agnes and the twins; Billy says he likes it there, because Agnes’s mind is quiet, which is compared to Wanda. I want to explain the implications of this, but I’ve been trying to only spoil things as I get to them, so I’m going to keep my mouth shut, or rather... what’s the keyboard equivalent? God knows. Anyway, Agnes tells them not to worry about Wanda, because ‘she’s supermom’, which, you know, is a fun superhero thing.

Cut back to Monica, who prepares some kind of suit to re-enter the Hex. She gets in, and drives toward the barrier, but when the wheels meet it, they fail to pass, and begin to drive up the barrier, flipping Monica onto her back. The vehicle begins to rewrite itself and break apart; Monica manages to clamber out of a trapdoor in the roof. Jimmy prepares a medical thing, and the barrier spits out the vehicle. Monica turns back, drops her helmet, and plunges into the barrier, and presses through. Her body warps, we hear echoes of Captain Marvel, we hear Carol’s quote about Maria being given the toughest kid, and her body reforms, her eyes light up blue, and she passes all the way through, eyes still glowing, and we see a shots of her warped vision, almost as though she can see energy or EM radiation.

Darcy tries to explain why Wanda killed Vision to him, and though the road is empty, a traffic light is red. As it turns green, roadworkers approach, impeding them and preventing Vision from returning to central Westview. 

Monica enters Wanda’s house, who threatens her, and lifts her telekinetically out onto the street, where she is watched by the neighbours. Wanda drops Monica to the ground, but she pulls a superhero landing, with blue lights for effect--her DNA has been rewritten by the Hex’s borders for the third time, and it’s clearly unlocked something. Wanda continues to threaten her, and Monica says to do it--’Don’t let [Hayward] make you the villain,’ to which Wanda replies, ‘Maybe I already am.’ Which is fair, but then villains never think they’re the bad guys.

Agnes watches them from a window. Monica tries to talk Wanda down, then Agnes comes outside, tells Monica to leave, and takes her inside. The people haven’t questioned Wanda’s magic, or Monica’s apparent new powers, which merely shows the extent of Wanda’s control. It’s also interesting that Monica didn’t fall under her control again when she re-entered the Hex.

Cut to Vision and Darcy, the roadworks clear away, but someone with a stop sign and a queue of crossing children continue to block their way. Vision phases through the van’s roof, and flies away.

Wanda notices the kids’ show on Agnes’s TV, and the half-eaten food on the coffee table, and realises the twins are missing. She asks, and Agnes tells her they’re probably in the basement, where Wanda then obviously goes. The basement walls are covered in branches, made of stone, and there is no reply when Wanda calls for the twins. She then enters an ancient chamber, walls engraved with runes, and a spellbook on the side.

Agnes comes downstairs, stroking Senor Scratchy, the rabbit Wanda and Vision used in their magic act way back in episode two, and says, ‘You didn’t think you were the only magical girl in town, did you?’ Agnes shuts the door with a twist of her hand and some purple sparks.

‘The name’s Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear.’

Purple fogs Wanda’s eyes, and cue the best moment in the entire series: Agatha All Along. This musical number essentially shows that Agatha has been behind everything that’s gone wrong for Wanda, aside from SWORD, obviously, and is such a good song. Go listen to it. Now. Immediately. Go. 

We see her screw up the magic show, send Pietro to the door, and we see her sitting behind the interview camera.

‘And I killed Sparky, too.’ Insert maniacal laughter, and cue the credits.

We sit through to the split between the animated credits and typical black and white scrolling ones, and this episode has an mid-credits scene. I checked for one the first few episodes, then gave up, and I can’t remember what it was that made me find this one, if it was just letting the credits play, or feeling the odd urge to check, or what.

We watch Monica try to find a way into Agatha’s house. She pulls open basement doors, then--’Snooper’s gonna snoop.’ Fake Pietro stands behind her, dressed in a beanie, hair no longer mostly white as per Quicksilver’s design.

This is my second-favourite episode overall, first being episode 8, and contains the biggest switch since episode 4. We meet the big bad, since Marvel is literally incapable of writing a story in which the climax isn’t between the hero and a villain with their exact same powers. (WandaVision takes this to the extreme, but that would be a spoiler.)

Episode Eight: ‘Previously On’ Released February 26th, Marvel blessed us with an episode 46 minutes long! At last! This was the second episode to completely break the sitcom format (first being episode 4, obviously), which leaves us in 2000s-themed Westview, but without a laugh track or any other sitcom elements.

We open with a recap, including Jimmy Woo’s explanation of Wanda and Pietro’s origins pre-Avengers from what I believe was episode 5. Or was it 4? Probably 4, because it was really soon after Hayward was introduced, in episode 4. Yes. Let’s go with that. 

This episode opens in Salem, Massachusetts, 1693, and we watch Agatha dragged to and magically tied to a stake, to be killed for betraying her coven of witches, by practising dark magic, but she denies it. She then relents and admits it, begs for help to control it, but the witches blast some kind of blue magic at her, which Agatha turns violet, and absorbs, killing the witches wielding it. The witch she calls mother, who also seems to be the leader of the coven, blasts her with magic after the others are dead, and as she does so, a kind of crown of the same blue light glows around her head (something I would neither notice nor question if I had not yet watched the series the whole way through). Agatha absorbs her magic and kills her, too. She steals a necklace from her mother, flies away, and we cut back to present.

Wanda tries to penetrate Agatha’s mind, but she tells her her thoughts were never available--a repeat of Billy calling her mind ‘quiet’ in episode 7, but I’m not actually sure the point of this, aside from limiting information available to both Wanda and the audience. Wanda’s Sokovian accent also returns in this scene. She tries to use her magic, but Agnes puts her in magical binds and explains that the runes in the walls mean ‘only the witch who cast the runes can use her magic’. Agatha also explains how she possessed fake Pietro--Fietro--not so she could control his mind, but so she could see through his eyes and ears.

Agatha questions how Wanda cast so many spells to control so many people, so many objects and locations all at once, when she had no magical training, which confuses Wanda because she doesn’t use incantations the way Agatha does; her magic is more through willpower and intention. 

Agatha then brings Wanda through a door, in an attempt to comprehend how she did it, and it leads them to an old, one-room living space in Sokovia--Wanda’s childhood, before her parents died. They prepare for a TV night, and their father invites young Wanda to pick, showing her a box containing various sitcoms--Bewitched, Malcolm in the Middle, I love Lucy, Who’s the Boss?, The Addams Family etc.--many of which acted as the basis for episodes of WandaVision, but she chooses The Dick Van Dyke Show. This love of sitcoms, the ideation in comparison to the Cold War outside, is where Wanda’s subconscious choice of making Westview into one--her version of a paradise for herself and Vision.

Then a bomb goes off outside, killing their parents and leaving Wanda and Pietro in rubble. A bomb lands before them, Stark Industries written on the side, but their television is behind it, and Dick Van Dyke still plays. 

Cut back to present Wanda and Agatha; Wanda says the bomb was defective, but they were trapped for two days, and Agatha implies it not going off was Wanda’s doing, believing her to be a witch like herself.

They move onto a HYDRA testing chamber, where teenage volunteer-Wanda stands near the sceptre from The Avengers, the one Thanos gave to Loki, the one containing the Mind Stone. She moves toward it, and the sceptre’s blue orb breaks from the handle; floats towards her. She touches it, and it bursts, revealing the yellow Mind Stone inside, and letting out a kind of wind blast. In the light, Wanda sees a silhouette reminiscent of the original Scarlet Witch design.

They take Wanda to isolation, and we watch some scientist replay the tape from the testing chamber, but in the footage, the orb doesn’t move; she moves to the room’s centre, then it cuts to her lying on the ground.

Agatha concludes that the Mind Stone amplified a dormant power, and they move to a memory of the Avengers compound post-Avengers: Age of Ultron. Past-Wanda is grieving for Pietro, Vision enters her room, and she invites him to sit. They discuss the comedy on her TV, then he asks if she wants to talk about her grief, and she describes it as ‘this wave washing over [her], again and again. It knocks [her] down, and when [she tries] to stand up, it just comes for [her] again.’ Vision tries to reassure her, then says the thing that everyone’s been quoting but hit me hard: ‘But what is grief, if not love persevering?’

Agatha asks present-Wanda what happened when there was no-one there to pull her back from the dark, and when Wanda refuses, she presses. They shift into the SWORD compound, where past-Wanda approaches the desk demanding to be given Vision’s body post-Avengers: Endgame. This is the point from the CCTV Hayward showed Monica, Darcy, and Jimmy, claiming Wanda stole Vision’s body.

The receptionist calls somebody, and sends her down the hall, and I can’t help but notice that in her grief, in her hoodie and jeans, her hair is perfectly curled. She goes to Hayward’s office, who takes her into a windowed chamber, beneath which she can see mechanics/engineers doing something to Vision’s body, colour faded and parts broken up. The eyes in his severed head are white, and Wanda is upset, but Hayward questions why she wants to bury him, when she has the power to ‘bring [her] soulmate back online.’ But Wanda says she can’t do it, like when she refused to bring back Sparky, and Hayward tells her his materials are too valuable to just be buried, but offers her the chance to say goodbye. He tells her Vision isn’t hers, and she shatters the glass; lowers herself into the room.

Hayward calls off the guards who raise their guns at her. She lifts her power to his head, where the mind stone was: ‘I can’t feel you,’ reminiscent of the I just feel you, in Avengers: Infinity War, when the Stone bothered him in the night in Scotland. And she leaves, without the body, proving to the audience that Hayward is a liar.

Wanda drives to Westview, real Westview, where she watches the people go about their regular lives, but they seem sad. They all seem sad. She drives to a plot, the outline of a house marked by a concrete foundation, holding a piece of paper from an envelope in the car. She unfolds it to find a plan for the house: To grow old in. -V. Wanda breaks down in what is presumably the plot she turned into their house in the Hex, and her power explodes from her, in huge gusts we’ve never seen. The house forms itself, then it goes further, transforming the town and turning it to monochrome in preparation for WandaVision episode one.

Streams of power turn gold in the air, and form the silhouette of a body, which solidifies into Vision, black and white Vision, dressed in 50s clothes. Wanda remains in colour, in her regular clothes, then she turns to monochrome, to her 50s outfit, and Vision greets her. And despite the seriousness of this scene I can’t get over the damn bullet bra. 

And the pair sit down to watch the television, then the surroundings shift, and we see present-Wanda in her 2000s living room, but in a set, with empty seats for a live audience before her. Agatha claps from them, then vanishes. We hear the twins yell, and Wanda comes outside to find Agatha magically garrotting them, dressed in full-witchy attire.

Agatha describes Wanda as ‘a being capable of spontaneous creation’, calls it chaos magic--’And that makes you the Scarlet Witch.’ I feel like I ought to say roll credits, only that’s not even the name of the show. Before WandaVision’s title was officially announced, I remember seeing speculation that it would simply be called Vision and the Scarlet Witch, like Falcon and the Winter Soldier. 

The credits roll, and, halfway through, we cut to Hayward and SWORD outside the Hex. Hayward goes into a tent, describes all their hard work at something, ‘but all we needed was a little energy directly from the source;’ and we’re shown the missile Wanda dragged out of the Hex in episode 5, glowing red. Someone flips a switch, and we watch lights turn on in a glass chamber, containing Vision, rendered in pure white, who wakes up. Another Vision, made from the original, and yet before this episode, due to the constant thing about twins, people were speculating there were two Wandas. Wrong character, right idea.

This is my favourite episode in the show: it’s magical, and it makes everything make so much more sense. We see that the Hex’s creation was an accident, but Wanda was ‘making it up as [she went] along,’ like the theme song in, I believe, episode 5. I just love origin stories.

Episode Nine: ‘The Series Finale’ This finale was released on March 5th, with a grand total of 49 minutes of runtime, and, epic as it was, I found it to be rather disappointing, following a fairly typical Marvel formula, compared to the originality of the rest of the series. Granted, parts of this episode in particular were shot in 2020, so they didn’t quite go as planned, but still. The CGI is excellent though.

We open to exactly where we left off; Wanda frees the twins and sends them inside, then sends a blast at Agatha, who absorbs it-- ‘I take power from the undeserving. It’s kinda my thing’--and Wanda’s hand begins to blacken. Agatha offers her Westview in return for her magic, which Wanda obviously doesn’t accept. White Vision lands behind her, and she goes to him, confused. He places his hands on her face, but presses, trying to crack her skull, and it becomes clear he is doing Hayward’s bidding.

In sweeps Wanda’s Westview-Vision (who we’ll call Red Vision) and blasts White Vision away. The two swoop off together for their own fight, Wanda flies after Agatha, and we see Monica locked in a messy living room with Fietro, where she has presumably been since the end of episode 7.

The Visions fight each other, in that classic Marvel way of pitting the hero against a villain with an identical skillset (I’m looking at you, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and basically every other movie. Seriously, Marvel needs to make more villains like Loki, instead of introducing them at the start of a film and having them somehow taken out of the equation by the end). It’s a cool sequence, as they phase through each other and plummet up and down. I love flying sequences.

At SWORD, Jimmy calls out Hayward, saying he won’t be able to cover this out, but Hayward says Wanda stopped her show, so there’s no evidence, and there’ll only be one Vision by the end, who people will assume Wanda resurrected. But Jimmy says he has called some friends from Quantico--whatever that is--to expose Hayward, who handcuffs him, but Jimmy is a magician, so he frees himself and actually calls somebody to apprehend Hayward.

Wanda arrives in the town square, to no sign of Agatha, and is then blasted to the ground by her from behind. Agatha summons a book we saw in her basement: ‘The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is formed. She has no coven, no need for incantation. [Her] power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme’--Doctor Strange--’It’s [her] destiny to destroy the world.’ But Wanda denies that she is a witch. Agatha casts a spell on Dottie from episode 2, apparently bringing her back to consciousness. She tells Wanda her name is Sarah, and begs her to let her bring her daughter out of her room. Wanda accuses Agatha, who replies, ‘She’s your meat puppet. I just cut her strings.’ I just love that line, for some reason.

Agatha casts another spell, and everyone in the square returns to their senses, approaches and surrounds Wanda. 

Monica finds a document in the room with Fietro, that says his name is Ralph Bohner. This was incredibly unsatisfying to me--it’s interesting that Fietro is actually the Ralph Agnes constantly mentioned, but nothing else comes of this, and, as of the end of the series, Pietro and his changed face are simply an elaborate boner joke. I wish his face had some kind of relevance as of now, but it may become relevant in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, because that’s obviously where we’re really going to delve into the multiverse, and it features Wanda, so it would make sense.

Monica pins down Ralph and tears a string of beads from his neck, which glowed purple; the thing allowing Agatha to control him.

In the twins’ room, Billy has a vision (heh) of what is happening with Wanda, and they run outside.

The people around Wanda bombard her with their real stories, their real problems. ‘When you let us sleep, we have your nightmares.’ She yells that she’s kept these people safe, but they beg to be freed, and the noise builds, until Wanda screams, with a burst of power that toes ropes around their necks, suffocating them, but she stops it. Mrs Hart begs her, ‘If you won’t let us go, just let us die.’ Agatha taunts her that heroes don’t torture people, and she sends out a blast of power, that highlights the Hex’s border crimson, and it begins to break apart. She tells them all to leave now.

His white counterpart blasts Red vision to the ground, near Wanda but he begins to break apart. The twins arrive, and begin to break apart, tied to the Hex. It looks weirdly like a LEGO advert, but Wanda recloses to Hex to save them. You know, what? I’m still not sure why it’s hexagonal. I wouldn’t question it being round, or quadrilateral, but hexagonal seems too intentional.

Agatha blasts the family with magic, and Wanda shields them, but Agatha absorbs the power. SWORD vehicles roll into the square, hayward in one, having apparently managed to cross the border before Wanda closed it again. White Vision rolls into the scene and slams Red Vision through the walls of and into a library, and Red stops White attacking him by explaining that he is not the true Vision, because he’s just Wanda’s version.

Wanda flies up, again after Agatha, while the twins use their powers to take away SWORD’s guns, and Hayward comes out with a pistol, which he fires at them, but Monica, having freed herself from Ralph, blocks the bullets. They ripple through her body, and pass through, but fall to the ground as her eyes glow orange. As Hayward drives back, then revs up to apparently run them over, Darcy, in the circus van, slams his vehicle into the side of a building.

We cut to the Vision’s pondering the Ship of Theseus--a philosophical thought experiment. If the Ship of Theseus has one of its planks replaced, it remains the Ship of Theseus. But, if all the planks are replaced over time, is it still the same ship? And what if the old planks are reassembled into another ship; which is then the true ship? This is a metaphor for the two Vision’s--White being the reassembly of the old planks, and Red being the replaced.

Red Vision proposes that the true ship is the one touched by Theseus himself, with the wear and tear, suggesting White Vision is the true one, because he has the memories Red doesn’t; the one touched by Wanda. White Vision claims he does not have the memories, but Red tells him his data banks are not so easily wiped--they’re there, just withheld. White allows Red to do his zappy thing, and the memories of everything Vision went through pre-WandaVision comes back to him. White says he is the true Vision, and flies away through the roof.

Meanwhile, Wanda sneaks up behind Agnes and does the nightmare-mind thing she did to the Avengers at the beginning of Avengers: Age of Ultron, sending her mind to the stake at the opening of episode 8. The desiccated witches rise, but instead turn on Wanda, calling her a witch, again, and again. The witches wrest Wanda onto the stake instead, but a red crown, like the blue on Agatha’s mother in episode 8, materialises on her head, formed of the same light as her magic. It’s really jarring at this point that she’s still in a hoodie and sweatpants.

Wanda blasts away the other witches, and they emerge from the nightmare, back to Westview. She and Agatha rise, blast magic at one another, and Wanda’s hands blacken further as Agatha absorbs more and more. She sends a blast at one of Westview’s walls, and a spot ripples in the middle of each. 

Wanda’s face seems to age, like the witches of Agatha’s coven, and Agatha absorbs streams of magic, until Wanda has none left. She gives her some depressing lecture, then tries to blast Wanda out of the sky, but it doesn’t work. Her hands begin to blacken, and Wanda’s face youthens, then the camera pans to reveal runes on Westview’s walls, like those in the basement, now disabling Agatha’s magic. Little confused how Wanda stayed flying when Agatha took her power, and how Agatha now stays flying.

The red crown reappears on Wanda’s head, her eyes glow, she reabsorbs her power from Agatha, and, as she does, she changes. Her hair comes down, and she becomes the silhouette she saw in the Mind Stone at HYDRA, finally getting a Scarlet Witch costume, and it is epic. 

They return to the ground, and Wanda uses her powers to put Agatha under the control she had the other residents under, to turn her into the Nosy Neighbour once and for all. Wanda leaves Agatha alive, so she could return in future instalments,.

Wanda, Red Vision, and the twins return to their home, and the Hex’s border contracts, until it covers only their street. They put the boys to bed, and Vision begins, ‘Your mother and I...’, and, when I first watched this, I really thought he was going to say ‘...are getting a divorce,’ but he simply finishes, ‘...are very proud of you both.’

Wanda says that ‘a family is forever,’ clearly already in mourning for the children she’s about to lose. They finish up, the border continues contracting, and Wanda turns off the lamps in the living room, though Vision turns one on, to say goodbye. As the border progresses towards them, Vision asks what he is, and says some literal and romantic crap; they kiss, talk a little, and he breaks apart as the border reaches them, and the house returns to the empty plot it once was.

Wanda is left standing exactly how she was before she formed the Hex, same hair, same clothes, puts up her hood, and walks into town. where the people glare as she approaches Monica, who says, ‘They’ll never know what you sacrificed for them.’  They have a classic series-wrap-up conversation, then Wanda shifts into her Scarlet Witch outfit, and flies away.

Mid-credits scene; we see Jimmy just after the debrief, Hayward is put in handcuffs, and Monica is called into the theatre, where she meets someone wearing a police badge, who shifts into a skrull. The skrull says a friend of Monica’s mother’s would like to meet with her, presumably Talos, and when Monica asks where, she just points up. 

And an end-credits scene opens in a pan shot, zooming to a cabin by a lake in the woods, where Wanda, dressed in sweats, sits on the porch with a mug. We follow her inside as the kettle whistles, but the camera continues into the bedroom, where her astral form sits, dressed as the Scarlet Witch, with the Darkhold, the book Agatha had. When we see Doctor Strange astral-project, his body falls unconscious, and this truly proves the Scarlet Witch is more powerful than the Sorcerer Supreme, as aforementioned.

This series really solidified my love for Wanda and Vision--Wanda, who I liked before, but mostly because of her powers than her character, which lacked development, and Vision, who I kinda hated because of his moral-high-ground bullshit, but who I now love--brought back fan favourites Darcy Lewis and Jimmy Woo, and set up Monica’s future plotlines. In truth, I liked Agatha better before she went full-witch mode, but she was an enjoyable villain. Hayward, on the other hand, was someone easy to hate, but not to such a level it was fun to hate him.

Every episode kept me on my feet, and every week I screamed I couldn’t wait for another. Part of my love for this was because we’d had no MCU content since July 2019, with Spider-Man: Far From Home, but it was just such excellent storytelling. Though the climax was a little disappointing, it was still more entertaining than most action sequences, where things happen so quickly I just zone out, and the visuals were incredible. I loved the sitcoms, and the differentiation at the end. Episode 4 was the perfect time to finally give us some form of explanation.

Basically, watch this damn show. Though I’d be surprised if you got this far without watching it. Watch it, make everyone else watch it, and, writers, take notes. The best stories are the ones with excellent characters and an excellent plot, and WandaVision mastered it.

[hannahcoursey]

Loose Ends Pt. 1

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 2, 268

Warnings: Abuse, Sexual Violence, PTSD

Request: Hi there! Do u think u could do one where the reader gets out of an abusive relationship, only to run into him again for Dean to save her? LOVE ur writing xoxo

Author: Hannahc56

PART TWO

---- 

His hand smacked your face, leaving a hot red mark in its place. Instinctively, you reached up and covered your face, cowering away from him as he stepped closer. You looked up, bewilderment in your eyes, at your boyfriend. Something wasn’t right.

Your boyfriend, Matt, had always had a temper. He’d hit you on previous occasions, leaving you to wonder the next morning why you’d put up with his violent ways, but you two had been high school sweethearts and deep in the darkest parts of your heart you knew you loved him. But tonight, this was different. He wasn’t backing down.

“Matt, what is wrong with you?” You spit, trying to let your words sound venomous, but the heavy shake in your tone betrayed you. A smile crawled across his features.

“Nothings wrong with me,” He reached his hand out and grabbed your face ferociously, digging his fingers into your supple cheeks, “I’ve never felt better, baby,” He finished, inches away from your face, the sarcasm dripping from the pet name he’d always call you. You wriggled back until you hit the wall behind you. His fingers pressed harder against your face. The more you struggled, the more it hurt.

“Matt-” You started, but his finger pressed to your lips.

“Sorry sweetheart, looks like your precious Matt has checked out,” He smiled down at your shrunken frame. Your brows furrowed for a moment until his eyes flipped black. Your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest, a small whimper leaving your lips before he reeled his arm back, clocking you dead in the nose. Your head smacked against the wall you were pressed against, as you slid down the plaster, taking the small dining room table crashing down with you. Stars danced in your vision, the deep black of unconsciousness beginning to creep up quicker and quicker.

“Don’t go checking out on me yet baby,” He leaned down, matching your eye level, “Matt is in here just cheering me on like you would not believe.” He tapped the side of his temple for emphasis. You blinked hard a few times, trying to shake off the concussion that was forming behind your eyes. He stood straight again. “You know that he hates you, right? I mean, you’ve done nothing but hold the kid down since you were - what, 16? - God, he cannot wait to be rid of you, he’s already got a whole list of women he’s just aching to get with the second he dumps your sorry ass.” He walked a step closer to you, swiftly connecting his foot to your abdomen, sending you to the ground. The little amount of air you had, slipped through your lips, leaving you gasping. He reached down and gripped at your neck before you could suck a breath in, forcing you back on your feet. 

“Matt, please-” You started, but the blood that followed your cough interrupted any plea you had worked the courage up to verbalize.

“Don’t worry,” He said, punching you square in the face again, “Matt is begging me to free him from you, you make him want to die.” He spit as moved to punch you one last time. Right as his fist was inches away from connecting with your face, you stabbed a kitchen fork into his neck. He stared at you, his fist paused, floating in front of your eyes. He blinked a few times before his grip on your neck tightened. “Ouch,” He rolled his eyes, “That hurt.” He scoffed as if the retaliation offended him. 

This was it. This is how you were going to die, at the hands of the person you thought you were going to marry. 

As his fist pulled back once more, the door to your apartment blasted open, smacking against the wall behind it. An older man, who sort of looked like a retired truck driver, entered the room, a sawed-off shotgun in his hand. The man you thought was Matt turned his attention towards the stranger, releasing his grip from your neck. Your legs gave out from under you and fell to the ground, the darkness completely encasing you and taking you from the nightmare that was playing out in front of you.

----

It had been a little over a year since the night Bobby had found you, beaten an inch from death. He exorcised the demon from your old boyfriend and taken you to shelter back at his place. A few days after the attack, he sat you down and told you that the things in your closet were real and introduced you to the world of hunters after you’d bugged him enough. He begrudgingly lent you the mythology books and taught you a few tricks. He offered you to stay with him for a while, as Matt was your only family since you had been in and out of foster care since you were born, you had nothing to go back to. You had gotten a job waitressing at a diner a few minutes down the road from his house and became good friends with the two Winchester boys that hid away at Bobby’s when the world got to be too much. Bobby had talked in minor detail about what the two boys had gone through - you knew about the yellow-eyed demon and Mary, and both brothers trip to Hell, which still made your mind swim with questions, but you knew you’d never get the answers, so you didn’t bother asking. 

Some nights you’d sit at the top of the stairs just out of eyeshot and listen to the things the boys talked about. You’d come to admire Sam’s gentle approach, but Dean had so many layers to him, you found yourself lying awake some nights wondering what made a man so complicated tick. One time, the boys left a bag of fresh clothes for each of them to keep there, just so they had some spare clothes stashed away somewhere if they needed it. You snuck into the drawers in one of the guest rooms next to yours that Bobby used as storage and stole a long sleeve thermal from Dean’s drawer. It smelled like the worn leather seats of the Impala and old whiskey that he’d probably spilled on it the last time he’d worn it and my God you loved everything about it. You kept it underneath your bed and wore it every now and then until his smell wore off and then swapped it for a different shirt or flannel from the drawer of his clothes. It wasn’t until you had tagged along with some hunts with Bobby that Sam had asked for you to join them. Your heart fluttered so hard in your chest you could’ve sworn Sam could’ve heard it from where he stood. 

That was a year ago.

Now you spent most of your time reading lore and researching whatever cases the boys had found while flipping through the newspaper and local murders. You had climbed your way to becoming a skilled hunter, but you were nowhere close to having the skill set that the brothers had and you were alright with that. Your admiration for Dean had only grown after being in constant close quarters to the man. Sam was your outlet, you were close friends and confided in him like no other. He often made sly comments on the way you stared a little too long and stuttered a little too much around Dean, but he never forced it much. Dean’s hand often found itself resting on the small of your back when in crowds, or around your shoulders after a successful hunt. He smiled a little wider at you and always made sure you ate. Dean always took the couch so you could have the bed in motel rooms and his goodnight hugs became a little tighter and a little longer as the months passed on, and you found your face red in anticipation every night, escaping in the few moments of affection you got from him. Sam noticed.

The boys never really talked too much about their time spent in Hell and you never pushed it. When they asked you about yourself, you usually kept equally as quiet. There wasn’t much to tell. They knew the basics, and more information about the three of you came out as time went on, bonding you closer each time something was learned about the other. 

After a particularly successful vampire hunt, the boys decided they wanted to go to the local bar down the road before calling it a night. It was almost 12:30 when the three of you pulled up in the Impala. 

“I gonna go find us a booth Dean, why don’t you go grab drinks and meet us at our table?” Sam said, over the creaking car doors and you nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll go with Sam and find somewhere for us to sit.” You stuffed your hands in your jacket pocket and followed Sam inside. Dean followed behind you, his hand resting casually on the small of your back, sending chills up your spine. He leaned in, the musty smell of the farm you had slain the vamps in, radiating off of him. 

“You want your usual?” He asked, his voice rough and close to your ear. Swallowing hard, you nodded.

“Just one for now, sure.” You turned to him for a second only to catch his eyes on your lips. He licked his own and grinned.

“Sounds good, sweetheart.” He said as you all entered the bar. Dean had split from the two of you and bee-lined for the bar. You reached your hand to Sam’s shoulder as to not lose sight of him in the crowded bar as he lead you to a booth in the corner. Once you took your seats, Sam opened up his laptop and started tapping away at the keyboard, his eyes already darting in between the lines of another article. You let out a light laugh at the sight of him and a small grin climbed his face.

“I know, I know - I’ll take a break in a minute, I just thought of something and wanna check it out before it slips my mind, alright?” He shook his head and smiled.

“Hey, whatever you want, this is your free time too.” You returned his sincere smile. Dean walked over with your drink and Sam’s beer.

The three of you sat and discussed the nights’ case, talking about how the vampire population seemed to be dwindling in the eastern states and after a few drinks, you found yourself drunker than you’d expected. Dean had walked over to a brunette over at the bar, after making eyes at her from the booth. You looked over as he slid a hand around her waist and whispered something in her ear. You turned back to your cup and slammed the remaining alcohol back. Sam chuckled lightly and shook his head.

“You guys are helpless, you know that?” He joked.

“There is no ‘You guys’ it’s nothing Sam,” You shook your head at him and tried to return the smile as genuinely as possible, but the alcohol made you feel fuzzy, “A girl can dream.” You shrugged. He closed his laptop and slipped it under his arm. 

“I think I’m going to head back, you wanna come with?” He asked, as he stood up from the booth and stood next to you. You shook your head and looked down at your empty glass.

“Hmm, I think I’m alright, I haven’t been to a bar in a little while I don’t mind sitting here,” You looked up at his raised brows, “Seriously, I’m okay, I’ll be almost right behind you.”

“Y/N, I haven’t seen you drink this much in months and you think you’re fine to walk.

 back by yourself?” He laughed lightly, still deciding if he was going to drag you out of there whether you liked it or not.

“Sam, I’m a big girl, I promise I can hold my liquor, I’ll be fine,” You reached out and patted him on the face. He nodded and laughed, obviously at your slurring words.

“Okay Y/N/N, but if you’re not back in the room within the next two hours, I’m gonna come back and personally make sure I tuck you in myself.” He pointed his eyes sarcastically at you.

“Okay, sounds like a fair deal to me.” You answered as he turned around and walked through the crowd, clutching his laptop to his side. You watched as his tall frame slipped through the groups of people until he was out of sight. You threw a few bills down on the table and searched the room for a side door. You opted for the back door by the bathroom and slipped out into the night. The brisk October air was a welcomed contrast from the stuffy, sweaty bar that lay behind the door you’d just exited. You took a deep breath and took a few steps, your legs wobbling beneath you. You take a deep breath and continue walking around the building, reaching the road. The motel was hardly two miles away and the walk would be just the thing to sober you up. A few buildings lay between the bar and the motel, dimly lit up. You turned and looked into the parking lot. The Impala was still sitting there where Dean had left it, and you wondered how long it’d take for him to come stumbling out of the bar with the brunette he had been buttering up around his arm. You took another breath and walked along the faded white line along the outside of the road. You wobbled on your feet, your balance uneven.

“Fuck.” You whisper to yourself, I probably should’ve gone with Sam. Just as the thought crossed your mind, a calloused hand wrapped itself around your neck, slamming you against the side of the building next to the bar. You hardly had a moment to scream.

It was Matt.

Your heart pounded in your throat and your vision swayed as he stood inches away from your face. He was supposed to be dead, your mind was running a thousand miles a minute. 

“Look who the fuck it is,” He leaned in, his breath reeking of booze, “The girl that tried to kill me.” The fire that scorched through his irises the day he beat you half to death burned across his eyes like it was yesterday. You had no words, your lips moved but nothing left them. “You’re pathetic Y/N, you really think this wouldn’t come back to bite you in the ass?” His eyes searched yours feverishly, as if he had asked you a feasible question. “I woke up on the floor with a fucking fork in my neck, I had to crawl to the phone to call 911 and you know what the best part was? No one believed me when I told them you’d tried to murder me - you disappeared!” He screamed into your face, his voice echoing in the empty parking lot you stood in. His grip tightened on your neck and your hands reached up to fight against it, but it was no use. Even with the adrenaline pumping through your veins you had consumed too much alcohol to walk home in a straight line, let alone put up much of a fight. “No, no, no, I’ve waited a long time for this, for you to see what it's like to be left for dead Y/N,” He spoke low, his voice like razors, “We’re done when I say we’re done.” 

And with that, his fist connected with your face and your world went black. 

----

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! 

READ PART TWO HERE

[fmdjaewonarchive]

► agree.

date(s): july 2020 - february 2021 mentions of: champion members, unity members (samsoo, yul & sunghee mentioned by name but like... blink and you’ll miss it)  word count: +/- 2.3k words (870w lyrics/660 words composition/740 words production) warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attacks and car accidents details: full lyrics and full composition verification for agree, 3/3 verifications for jaewon’s upcoming album escapism. jaewon doesn’t only know how to write sad boi music, he also writes angry boi music, the only two emotions he’s ever experienced rlly. (a/n: i lost my braincells within the first 100 words and still haven’t retrieved them, read at your own discretion)

the song is born out of frustration, anger blocking up his throat to the point it feels hard to breathe.

it’s the kick-off point of champion’s world tour, a concept that has jaewon disgruntled enough as it is, snatching him away from unity and dropping him in the states like he is supposed to care about this group, like he doesn’t have better things to worry about.

but alas that’s beside his point, as much as he detests the idea behind champion, it’s not his main source of frustration.

traveling out to the states, that part is hell. now jaewon has never been a huge fan of traveling, suffering from a crippling fear of flying ever since predebut that somehow has not gotten any less severe with the sheer amount of flying all over the place unity has been doing. jaewon also absolutely hates airports, they’re too crowded, too hectic and far too stressful to not immediately put him in a godawful mood.

the cameras shoved right into his face both prior to departure and directly after arrival definitely didn't help.

comparatively, champion’s trip to the states this time hadn’t been that bad. jaewon just happens to be in an extra foul mood today but rationally, he has to admit that he’s seen far worse throughout the years.

but maybe that’s exactly the problem, how common these things have become, that getting pushed and pulled at while trying to get on flight was considered to be mild.

jaewon’s frustration isn’t solely aimed at an isolated instance, it’s at the ridiculous standard that’s been set for idols, the things they have to accept like they are normal.

normally he would call soo to complain about whatever was bothering him but with the time difference, jaewon knew his boyfriend was ought to be asleep at this hour and he definitely wasn’t waking him up for something this minor.

he even humors the thought of perhaps finding sunghee or yul to complain to but with most of champion out for the night doing whatever (admittedly, jaewon didn’t listen when they were making plans, he wasn’t gonna tag along anyway) that isn’t really in the cards either. perhaps that’s for the best, jaewon isn’t the biggest fan of actually talking to the younger unity members about what was on his mind.

either way, jaewon is stuck in a hotelroom by himself, no one around to really vent his frustration too so instead, he might just as well write it all down.

and that’s exactly what he does, settling down at the desk in his hotelroom, scribbling on a notepad randomly found laying around.

on the plane the person in the seat next to me that’s not my fan apparently buying info off the airplane company

it’s not entirely relevant to what happened at the airport earlier but jaewon feels angry all over just thinking about it. unity has had it’s fair share of experiences with saesangs, seemingly only increasing the more popular they keep getting. sure, that makes sense but it doesn’t mean it’s okay, contrary to what dimensions seem to believe with how easily the company brushes it off under the pretense of it just being another part of the job.

at the airplane lounge there’s a war between the 200 mm guns privacy, panic disorder, they barter with one another...

in the first place, jaewon’s main concern is unity, it always is. he’s willing to put up with a lot if it means the younger members are left off the hook. but he has to admit, since the panic attacks have started to become more prevalent, it’s a lot harder to take that stance. it’s hard to take care of others when he fails to take care of himself.

jaewon tries not to think about what that means for his position as a leader.

from early morning put on a mask and fight on in short, call it being a puppet...

jaewon knows he’s not an ideal idol, he’s never been and he never will be. maybe in retrospect, he would have done things differently but there is no use in considering those what-ifs now. there is, however, no denying that all of it is just a bigger struggle with him, it will never go as easily as with people who were made to stand in front of the camera’s. why shouldn’t he get to be open and honest about that? he’s not the perfect idol they want him to be, he will never fit that mold.

i know, that’s right that’s right that’s right that’s right that’s right that’s right i know that’s right that’s right that’s right

written out, the chorus feels a bit silly, but jaewon feels justified in his creative choices. not that the song is ever going to be used for anything, it’s just an attest to his frustration. jaewon knows he’s ought to sit down and silently accept whatever is expected of him.

it’s been years since he’s been his own person. these days, he’s dimensions’ property first and that of the general public second, there is no use in fighting that, no space for his voice.

so sure, whatever, he agrees, what else can he do?

---------------

jaewon forgets about the lyrics he’s written down after that.

in the moment there had been no intention to turn them into a full-fledged song, a haphazard combination of lyrics that in their raw form, probably held very little meaning, too much filler between the few parts that he did properly think through.

so jaewon forgets all about it before he even sets foot back in korea again. unity is busy enough, the release of neo zone lurking around the corner and with multiple schedules of his own, jaewon can’t even think about the song if he wants to.

it only comes drifting back into his consciousness at least a month of two having passed since champion’s american tour dates.

the day in itself isn’t anything special, if there is anything remarkable about it it’s the fact jaewon isn’t working for once. he’s just hanging around his and samsoo’s apartment, scrolling through whatever app on his phone keeps his attention for long enough.

until an article pops up.

it’s a news post about a rookie group he’s never heard of from a company he doesn’t know the name of, it has nothing to do with him, but he finds himself reading through it anyway. apparently, they got into an accident on their way home from schedules as they were being followed by saesangs. no one got injured and truly, it’s not the first time jaewon has read news like this but it does fill him with the same sense of anger as what he had experienced that first day in the states with champion.

because this type of news shouldn’t be common, for how long are people gonna pretend it is?

maybe he should finish that damn song.

wait does he even still have the lyrics?

jaewon vaguely remembers at the very least putting the sheet of paper in his backpack after the concert as he had been packing up to move to the next city of their tour but after that, he can’t say he recalls having seen it lay around.

he’s really ought to get more orderly with his drafts.

luckily for him, jaewon does find the sheet of paper, not in his bag but shoved in between the pages of a notebook and with the draft of his lyrics obtained he makes a beeline for his home studio. normally he’d do this stuff at the company headquarters but truly, that sounds like far too much work in the moment.

obviously, the song is meant to have an angry undertone to it, supposed to convey the same anger and frustration that swallowed jaewon whole as he had written the lyrics.

the deep, resonating boom of low brass sounds for the opening of the song are a no brainer, the sound gives a bombastic, ominous vibe, immediately setting the song off on the right note. it’s supposed to sound grande and honestly a little bit intimidating, a dark feeling creeping around the corners.

of course, the sound is far too theatrical to be underlaying to the entire song so jaewon alternates it with a deep, booming bassline, the brass only reappearing right before the chorus other than in the opening section as if to give off a warning. to fill up the verses and the parts in between, jaewon adds rumbling, deep drums in the background, making them feel less empty.

what really makes the song however is the rapidly-cycling electronic stuttering a rhythmic pattern across almost all parts of the song. it feels a little distracting at first before jaewon decides that really, that’s exactly what he’s going for. the melody feels just a little too fast, uncomfortably so and in a song reflecting so much stress and strain, that only feels fair, reflectives of the way his chest tightens up when he can’t breathe, when his hands tremble and his heart beats so fast it might as well make him sick.

jaewon thinks it conveys his frustrations pretty damn well.

---------------

it doesn’t seem in the books for the song to ever be released until the process of selecting songs for escapism comes along. while jaewon regains some of his creative freedom, most of it had been under dimensions terms, leaving it up to them to shape the album in a way they prefer over his creative vision.

until somewhere near the end of completing the track list, the head producer asks jaewon if he has any songs laying around that could fit in with the rest of the album.

‘agree’ is the first thing to come to mind.

the head producer seems to like the songs, enough to approve it at least and jaewon can’t help but feel a flare of pride. the producer seems intent on leaving the creative process in his hands, letting him handle the production.

it makes ‘agree’ the first song ever that’s entirely his own that he gets to release, it feels like a milestone to jaewon.

he does get a little list of suggestions, mainly pertaining to the lyrics. the producer leaves a few remarks here and there about where lines could be stronger, what he would do differently but all of it are very loose recommendations, jaewon isn’t actually under an obligation to do anything with them.

in the end, he does anyway, shuffles some lyrics around, dares to be a bit more assertive in his wording, right onto the border of what he would consider too gloat-y for himself. but the producer is right, it gets to pack a punch, it gets to be a little bit self-important. somehow having the external confirmation makes it easier to write those lyrics without feeling like a fraud. it’s still his, his writing, his song.

with the last tweaks done they’re quick to get to recording. they’re still on a time crunch as jaewon’s manager reminds him (jaewon likes the man well enough but dear lord would he never let him forget). it's one of the last songs on the album to be recorded after all and at this point, they are cutting it close.

with everything else he needs done, all jaewon has left to do is fine tune the song, the last tweaks and sounds to be added like missing puzzle pieces now he has the bigger picture pretty much laid out in front of him, polishing and detailing it to elevate the song worth of something to be released on an album.

the instrumental is already pretty hectic, fully intentional of course, but with a proper, clear recording it’s easier to spot the empty gaps, spaces to add the last finishing touches. he adds more brass, less grande and dramatic than the ones in the pre-chorus, curling around the edges of the chorus to round them up neatly and as if to scale down again for the verses, still fast paced but somewhat a breath of fresh air between one chorus and the other.

he delays the part at the opening before the brass and bass kick in, a silence before the storm feels even if the hyperactive stuttering beat is already there, he considers taking that out at first too but the point kind of is that it is more or less omnipresent, it’s always there even when there is nothing else much, like the anxiety that feels permanently stuck to his head.

there is also the addition of an extra melodic line, lingering behind that main, slightly headache inducing electronic synth. it doesn’t really stand out, especially not compared to it’s main competitor but it does remain prevalent in the few parts the main instrumental motif is nowhere to be found, giving it small moments to shine. it serves a clear function, or to jaewon listening ear at least (maybe he’s overanalyzing at this point). the little bounces of the electronic beat all over the place keep up the pace of the song, making sure its explosive nature prevails over the dark dreary undertones of the bassline and brass sections, giving it an overall dynamic feel.

it takes some fiddling, jaewon pulls something close to an all-nighter to finish up the song with the sheer amount of detail he ends up focussing on but by the time he sends it in, he has a good feeling about it at least.

when he presents the final product to the head producer, there are no more suggestions. it’s good, and it’s all his own work.

[emilyxvalentyne]

Alcoholic Love CH Part 2

A/n: finally have part two up! Thank you guys so much for loving this series. And just to clear somethings up, the whole time period of this series is a year before 5sos3 was released. Also please let me know if you guys want to be tagged in part 3. I apologize in advance :,( And lastly Request are open let me know if you guys want blurs!!

WARNINGS/TRIGGERS ⚠️⚠️: Alcohol abuse, depression, fighting, yelling, and over all just a really strong talk about feeling alone and breaking (herself) down.

PART 2

3am

Two hours of sleep was all I could manage. Somehow I found myself downstairs sitting by the pool with a bottle of Stella Rosa, listening to Rex Orange County.

The waves of the pool seemed to be rocking back and forth in slow motion. The trees were swaying. The stars were to damn bright, or maybe it was the tears in my eyes that made them blinding. You know that feeling you get when you have had a few drinks and your whole body just feels so light. Well mine felt so heavy tonight. I felt like mine was just weighing me down, and I so badly just want to feel light again.

So what do you do to try and feel light again? Some find ways to just relieve their stress in ways like, working out, reaching out to professionals, or they find coping mechanisms to try and relieve themselves. I on the other hand, can admit that my coping mechanism is not the best.

Every night for the past three weeks I come down here to just drink. But I’m only ever a reck at night. During the day I seemed completely fine. Besides the minor hangover I got every morning, I seemed okay. I continued school and work just to keep my mind busy. However at around 3am every night I would wake up just to drink myself to sleep.

At first it was just a few beers. I would still get the light feeling at first. Then it was tequila, probably around 1/3 of the bottle. That would get me to sleep so quick. But then that light feeling slipped away. I then found myself drinking whatever I could find, whatever I could get my hands on. Sometimes it was whiskey or tequila, others it was a 24 pack of corona and a bottle of wine. But no matter how much I drank, I wasn’t able to get that light feeling anymore.

No one knew about my addiction. I made sure of that. I went so far as to the extreme of not buying alcohol from the same place no more then once a week. Even then it was risky. If someone recognized me then it was over I would never return to that place. This is what made it seem like it was all my fault. Every night I blamed myself. Never once did I blame him.

He did this to me. My heart was broken because of him. I knew that it wasn’t my whole fault deep down, but yet I always blamed myself. I always made myself thing that I deserved this, that I deserved what he did to me.

No seemed to remember me anymore. All of my old friends with Calum never hit me up anymore. It was like I was never in there lives in the first place. Sierra would sometimes send me a text here and there to check up on me. I never wanted to burden her with my broken heart so I didn’t tell her what happened between Calum and I. I would never bring my problems with Calum into any of their lives because Calum is like their brother. It just didn’t take away from the fact that I was still heartbroken. I just felt like this was it.

3 weeks ago

I walked into the kitchen everything was not fine today. After a long night of tossing and turning, I was in a bad mood. Calum stood me up yesterday and I was really disappointed. Today I was actually not hoping to see him, but just like yesterday morning he was there in the kitchen drinking his coffee and on his phone. He seemed like everything was fine. Well everything was not.

I continue making myself some toast. All I wanted was for the San Andreas fault to finally split open and take me with it. The tension in the room can’t even be cut with a knife at this point. It was so strong that even Duke could feel it. I could actually feel the burning from of his eyes whenever I moved.

The tension in the room was so strong. This made me feel almost afraid. Every step I took, every move I made was being watched. I eventually sat down with my toast and coffee. The only thing separating us was the bar stool that was between us. The whole house was dead silent.

“So you’re just gonna be mad all day, and give me the silent treatment like you’re 19 again?”

I wanted so badly to ignore his comment but if I did then that would only show that I am weak and that he was right. “ I’m not mad, I’m just over it”

“Over what?”

Now I was staring at him, did he really just say that. He should know I’m not going to give up. He know that he was playing with fire now.

“I’m over the fighting Calum” I so badly wanted to just scream at him. To tell him how I was feeling.

“If you’re tired of the fighting then don’t get so mad at everything I do”

Now I was mad. No anger, I was heated right now. How could he just say that. “That’s the problem Calum! You always think that I get angry at everything you do! Well I don’t I feel so damn sad all the time because you would rather go out then just spend one night with me”

“You see you are mad about yesterday, because you can’t let the little things go! So what I forget about yesterday, it’s not like the world was going to end” Calum now was stood across from me with his hands in his pockets.

I felt so mad I just couldn’t believe what he was saying. It was really hurting me just the way he was acting like it shouldn’t affect me. He didn’t think about my feeling, he just wanted to get his point across like it was more important then what I was feeling.

“I’m not mad about yesterday Calum, I’m disappointed, not that much in you but more at myself for ever thinking that you actually cared. I gave you all the space you wanted. I never once stopped you from going out because I know you needed space and for a relationship to work we have to let each other do our own things, as long as we came back to each other at the end of the day, because that matters Calum. You can go and blame me all you want, but I know what I feel, and what I feel right now is hurt. I can’t believe you actually would rather come home at night argue rather then just hang out. To tell me about your day, all I’ve wanted for the past month was for you to just come home and ask about my day. To hold me at night when I’m sleeping. A simple hug would do if you don’t feel like talking. That’s all I’m asking Calum. But you would rather let this keep going, what has gotten you to be so cold, what did I- ”

“I cheated on you” Calum eyes seemed light this time. His whole face read regret. I wasn’t sure what for. If it was because he regret cheating, or because he regret telling me.

I knew I was gonna crack any second now. My heart was hurting so bad. My eyes were so watery that I could feel the tears at the brim of my eyes. I wanted so badly to just punch him. To make him feel what I felt. But no amount of physical pain could really compare to what I felt. So instead I ran upstairs to our room. I put on the first pair of shoes I could find.

“Wait don’t leave I’m sorry I didn’t mean it. Let me explain myself” of course that what they all say. Tears were just freely streaming down my face now. This would have been the first time Calum has ever seen me cry. I never let anyone see me cry ever. I just felt so pathetic.

“Move” I felt so small. No matter how hard I tried to get passed him he wouldn’t move from the door way.

“No you’re angry I can’t let you leave while you’re crying you could get into an accident” no he was holding my shoulders. This made me cry even harder. But I was more angry at this point.

“Let me go!” I was pushing him with all the strength I had left. “Move it!” I bit his left arm causing him to jerk away from me. “Just leave me alone I don’t want to see you again!”

Current time

I drove for what felt like hours. But it was actually 20 minutes until I had to pull into a 7/11. I cried in my car so long that day. I eventually had to leave since so many people were staring at me.

When I finally made it home that day. The whole house was off. Calum’s things were gone. His half of the closet was completely empty. But what really killed me was not hearing Duke’s paws paddling against the floor. My heart was so shattered. I was all alone now. I didn’t even have Duke now to cuddle up against, he was my only buddy. Even though he was just a dog I knew he understood me. Duke always made me laugh when I cried, and he would make me feel not alone. Now I didn’t even have him, All I could do that night was cry. I drank half a bottle of Patron Silver, that night. And since then I just have not been the same.

I should have see it. I should have known that he was cheating. I knew that he was writing and working on the third album, but I should have know that he wasn’t at the studio all night long. I ignored all these things. I felt so guilty, I knew that I wasn’t giving him enough attention either. I should have dropped some classes just so I could be with him more. Going to school full time and juggling a part time job, was so time consuming. I felt like I denied him more then he has denied me. And I let him leave. I told him I didn’t want to see him again.

The heavy feeling started to come up again. This time I couldn’t keep my eyes open. The whole floor felt like it was shaking. Then my eyes shut...

Tagged: @kikibelle @shanetoo

[koreanmadeingreece]

Sweet Chaos, 2/4

Word count: 2.296

AAAAAaaangst because I was salty when I wrote this one as well. 

Disclaimer: I do not want to compare GOT7 members in any way, because all of them are special to me and for different reasons each. This is just written for fun. 

SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE FIRST PART DON’T READ THIS!!!! IT’S GONNA RUIN THE FUN!! DO NOT LOOK AT THE TAGS OF PART 2!!! (links in my description)

When Jinyoung offered me breakfast, my answer was yes. After such a night, who would even think of leaving? But, yes. Leaving was all that crossed my mind at the time. What if everyone found out? I should have thought about that before going out with him, let alone sleeping with him, though. Besides, I had bigger problems to deal with. What the hell did Im Jaebum want from me this time?

“Y/N, how much sugar do you drink your coffee with?” His words brought me back to reality, and that was a beautiful morning with Jinyoung by my side. He was a man who treated me better than anyone ever had before, which was something I appreciated quite a lot.

“A lot,” I replied, trying to hold back my laughter, knowing that most people hate the idea of sweet coffee. But, he never said anything about it. He just brought me my coffee and sat right beside me on the couch. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and just stayed there. We didn’t have to talk about anything in particular, we just enjoyed our time. It was Saturday after all, so we had the whole morning to ourselves and nothing was going to interrupt the calmness we were feeling.

That calmness we felt was amplified by so many things that day. We were alone at his house, lying on his couch, listening to music playing softly in the background, looking at the raindrops falling from his living room window. And we felt good, both of us. We really did.

As for what we were and how we defined our relationship, we didn’t know. We didn’t discuss anything, simply because none of us wanted to ruin the perfect atmosphere we had built. Well, it was common sense that we couldn’t really share in case there was a problem with the company, but we didn’t intend to anyway. At least not until we knew a bit better what our situation was. For the time being, it was our secret to keep.

I had to leave eventually. Jinyoung had to go to practice with the others, since the new album release and promotion was too close to sit back and enjoy the rain. “Call my name” needed a lot of work if they wanted it to be perfect, and that also included me. I was in the marketing team anyway.

I returned home, took a shower and changed clothes. I grabbed my bag and left for work, only to find Yugyeom at the lobby, waiting for BamBam.

“Ah, they brought you here on a weekend too?” he asked. It was so kind of him to think about me after all that work he had to do.

“Yeah. Who do you think handles your comeback, huh?” I laughed, and he did too. We usually had a lot of fun together, but I had to leave for my office, so I took the elevator alone, leaving him to wait.

I needed to find Jaebum. But, it had to happen somewhere that no one would notice. At least somewhere that wouldn’t seem suspicious. Both of us had a couple of secrets to keep, and it wouldn’t be the best thing if anyone found out. Both of us had things to hide, but not from each other, because we had done them together. So, I texted him: “Where do you want to meet me?” I pushed the button for the 8th floor. It stopped on the 2nd floor, and Jaebum entered.

“I was coming to find you.”

“Are you sure it’s the best idea to do this here? Someone could hear us.”

“That’s why I was coming to your office, so that if anyone saw us. We’d seem like we’re talking for work.” He paused. “Besides, I couldn’t wait.”

“Did you mean that it couldn’t wait?” I asked him, but the elevator stopped. As the doors opened, he turned around and gave me a smirk, then left the elevator.

“Are you coming?” he shouted and I followed. I couldn’t believe that I was following him into my own office, really.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” I started tidying up my office a bit before I sat down in front of my computer, in order to be ready to work after he left. He sat down at one of the chairs I had on the other side of my desk. And, he was smiling. God, how much I hated that smile. It was what had gotten me so hooked up on him in the first place, besides his voice. And, in that moment, I stayed there, waiting for what he was going to tell me, trying to ignore everything I was thinking about. Besides, I had moved on.

“So, I was talking to Jinyoung today.” I was caught off guard, but waited. Jinyoung couldn’t have told him anything. “And he kind of inspired me to come and talk to you,” he continued.

“Wait, Jinyoung told you to come here?”

“Well, not exactly. It’s just that his words gave me the motivation to come here and ask you something.”

“Do you really need motivation to talk to me? So I’m that difficult after all…” I was provoking him. I knew it, and I had to stop. I just needed a distraction, because he was a pleasure to provoke. But, it was neither the place nor the time to talk about what he had come to talk to me about.

“Well, you’re not. Quite the opposite I’d say. It’s just that I’m not the best in expressing what I really want to say, so I just have to put it into words, right?” He paused. I could feel him struggling with this, but we had to stop. We had to.

And then, someone knocked on the door. For a second, I felt relieved. I could just pretend we were talking about the promotion and nothing was going to be said or done that day. Everything was going to be smoother than ever, and Jaebum would leave my office without protest.

“Please, come in,” I said. I was caught by surprise when it was Jinyoung behind the door, who had probably come to greet me since their practice would run a little late. Those were the benefits of hanging out with Yugyeom. He’d tell me everything I needed to know about anything.

“Oh I didn’t know someone was here. I can come back later,” he said.

“No, Jaebum was leaving. You can stay. I smiled at him, especially since Jaebum wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were locked n Jinyoung, but I didn’t know why. It seemed weird at the time, but not enough for me to do something about it.

“Yes, I’m leaving. Excuse me.” He shut the door behind him and Jinyoung turned to me.

“”Y/N, did he seem kind of weird to you, or is it just me?”

“I have no idea,” I said, knowing exactly what was going on. He had come here with a purpose in mind, and I never let him say a word.

“I don’t want to overstep any boundaries, but maybe you two were talking about something serious. In any case, you should know that he’s kind of stressed right now, and I think that he might like someone, so he might seem kind of weird. Please, don’t say anything to him.” He sat down at one of the chairs. “And, I didn’t want to invade your space like that. I know we’re at work. It’s just that Yugyeom came upstairs with BamBam and told me that you were here as well, so I thought I should come and say hi.” He smiled, but I was unable to actually listen to him. I was thinking of a different kind of smile.

“It’s not a problem, really. Don’t worry about it. But has Jaebum told you anything? I mean, I don’t want to intrude, but if he’s not well…” I hoped he’d tell me something, anything.

“Well, he came to find me a while ago. We were waiting for the others, who were going to be late, so I was sitting on the couch. He came next to me and seemed weird, so I asked him if anything was wrong. I didn’t get much out of him, really. Just that he has something he needs to do and he needs motivation. I don’t know for sure if it’s a girl, but I suspect it. He’s been acting weird for months now, and it’s not like him to lose focus on tour. Did you see us perform in Amsterdam? He was completely out of it. Thank god nothing serious happened.”

“I see. Well, I guess he’ll share it when he wants to. For now, all we can do is wait.” Yes, that was it. I had nothing to do about it, definitely not in the office. But we definitely had to talk. “He’s not in any trouble as far as the company is concerned though.”

“That’s good, I guess. I appreciate you telling me. So, enough with that. I came here because I have a suggestion, actually. What are you doing tomorrow afternoon? There’s a really nice café that you’ll probably like, if you want to come.” He smiled at me. I loved the way he looked at me when he smiled. It was just so straightforward, that I felt safe. I felt like I could count on him, but on the other hand, his eyes were so suggestive. Especially after the night we spent together, I had no doubt that he hid a lot more than what people normally saw on him every day. He was a person with so many different sides to discover, and that intrigued me.

“Yes, I’d love to come with you. So, see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.” And he left my office.

I returned home that day feeling terrible. I couldn’t believe that this was actually true. Because, if everything I imagined was indeed happening, I was standing between two lifelong friends. What the hell was I doing?

I couldn’t relax, so I filled my tub with hot water and decided to spend my evening there, listening to music. Maybe even figure out what I was going to do.. I took my clothes off and played chill music on my phone.

As I sank in and closed my eyes, I started thinking about the whole situation. And, the more I thought about it, the less it made sense. Jaebum wasn’t exactly showing me what he wanted from me, so I had no reason to bail out on Jinyoung for something that wasn’t even certain. He hadn’t shown me anything. And, judging by the fact that we never talked about what happened at the party again, I was free to assume that there was nothing going on between us. It was one night that we decided to get drunk, after all. It wouldn’t haunt us for the rest of our lives. We were grown-ups, or so we thought. So, I could just forget about it and let time pass as I had fun with Jinyoung. That man really was incredible.

The night passed quite calmly, and when the next morning came, I decided to just drink some tea and get my work done, since I had a date with Jinyoung that afternoon. I took a shower and got dressed in a white shirt and a black skirt, always with my combat boots. I wore my favorite necklace and some simple earrings and headed out to meet him.

He was waiting for me at a corner table with a couch, elegant as usual. That man definitely made me fall for him more every time I saw him. He never ceased to impress me. We ordered our coffees and stayed there for hours talking and talking, and we never ran out of things to say. We never felt the need to look at our phones either, except from one time, when Jinyoung received a message and, as he was answering, I checked mine for anything important as well. He smiled for an instant when he read that message, but stopped immediately. That seemed kind of weird to me, honestly, but I only asked when I realized that he was staring at his screen without typing anything. He brushed it off and said it was nothing important, then he typed back and left his phone aside for the rest of the evening.

We were having a great time, but eventually we had to leave, since we had to go to work first thing in the morning. But, it was a perfect day. And, the last day with Jinyoung that was going to be perfect, because, as I was getting ready to sleep that night, Jaebum called me, saying we had to meet. And, it had to be done someplace private, where no one would interrupt us. He even told me to come by that night, but I didn’t trust myself in a house alone with him. So, I told him to come find me after work at a café that no one from the guys of the company really went at. In that way, I was going to be sure that I wouldn’t do something I regretted the next day.

I was wrong. Not only did I go to my meeting with Jaebum, but I did something I regretted as well. And he did too. Because, instead of going to that café, we decided to go for a walk. And that was the first time I’d ever hear him talk to me about how he really felt about me, and where he’d genuinely kiss me for the first time.

[ask-the-guiding-light-cast]

Guiding Light turns two years old today!

It’s crazy to think this all began only a couple of years back... and also hilarious it falls on the same day as “International Mystery Dungeon Day” over on Twitter. More after the cut. This is gonna be a long one, so I appreciate anyone willing to read this. ^^

For a long time, I had been a casual consumer of fan fics. It started in the late 2000s when I was in a Spyro craze thanks to the more story-driven Legend of Spyro trilogy. I had an itch that I needed scratched and FFN fulfilled that to some extent. I also looked at some Mario fics, including Paper Mario: The Temple of the Sun, which I greatly enjoyed and thought did a good job adapting the formula that made Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door so beloved and putting a unique spin on things.

But it was until the early 2010s that I actually started getting back into Pokémon games with Gen V. After Emerald, I fell out of touch with Pokémon for a time. When Gen VI came around, I dipped my toe into the fandom through Twitch livestreams, but also through reading a few anime-based fics that are very long and still going, even now. 

At the same time, I ended up buying PMD: Explorers of Sky... and damaged my cartridge before I could properly finish the game with my Vulpix/Riolu team. So, I watched cutscenes for what I missed on YouTube, then got Gates to Infinity and, later, Super Mystery Dungeon and had fun with both of them... though more for the stories and characters than the actual gameplay. Truth be told, I don’t care much for roguelikes at all.

It was during the gap in time between Super’s release and the first official footage of Sun & Moon in mid-2016 that I found myself hit with a recurring thought: “What if someone made a PMD story where the hero and the partner are forced to fight one another with the fate of the world at stake?” I wound up (loosely) brainstorming an idea for a PMD story revolving around an antagonistic Hoopa character who would use its ring portals to collect entire communities, including the Pokémon living in them... all so that he would never be bored. This would lead him to “collect” the partner to add to his “toys,” so when the hero shows up, he’d sic the partner on them.

But that was as far as I got with the idea. I ended up graduating college and took a job with late evening hours. It left me pretty tired and exhausted and unmotivated to do much of anything. I withdrew from the parts of the Pokémon community I was involved in.

Then the Generation VII games came out and, while divisive in the fandom, I found myself really liking some of the concepts. There were so many times when I thought, “Gee, I wonder what this would be like if it were in a PMD game?” For example, one of the ideas I had was a sort of edgy rival rescue team akin to Gladion, which would have a Midnight Lycanroc, a Zoroark, and a Type: Null character in it.

So, toward the end of 2016 and early 2017, I started creating an idea for a Choose Your Own Adventure story with the intent of putting it on this really small forum I was a part of. It would be a Gen VII-themed PMD story, but because I didn’t think that sounded interesting enough, I decided that, not only would the human keep their memories, but they would be from the real world and be a major Pokémon nerd. The idea was that the choices the readers made would affect the relationship between the human and partner. I even came up with a point system. The more points the readers earned for their choices, the “closer” the relationship the hero and partner would have and the happier an ending the story would get. If the hero and partner couldn’t stand each other, one of them would likely end up working with the bad guy and winning. If they became steadfast friends, they’d work together to save the world.

Unfortunately, the forum shut down before I got too far into planning it, so I shelved the idea and continued focusing on my job. And things stayed that way for several months, until I ended up getting into med school and scrambling to move.

During the downtime I had when I wasn’t doing moving related stuff, I decided to look at FFN again and found Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Defenders of Warmth. I wound up reading through the entirety of the story quite quickly. I guess you could say it sparked something in my head. The fic itself focuses on what, at the time, was the newest Gen (Gen V). It also has multiple humans and is set on a continent separate from the canon locations (which were just the Air and Grass Continents, since Gates and Super didn’t exist when the fic was written). In short, it renewed my desire to pursue my idea of a Gen VII-flavored PMD story.

So, I set about creating my story outline. It is so... so much different from the actual story, though I’ve gone into that in previous posts (search for #amby answers). Originally, I used Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time as the framework for the fic: an alien invasion in a colorful, comedic world. I took more specific cues, too. Zero was meant to be a (mostly) silent antagonist a la Princess Shroob, for example.

The problem was, I really didn’t have much confidence in myself or my abilities. I’d like to say I was writing for myself, but I really did want validation, too. I think any author is lying to themselves if they say they don’t feel this way at some point. Because of this, I figured if I put the fic on FFN, it would get ignored. The site’s huge! There were, at the time, around 85k fics in the Pokémon section alone. (That number’s since gone up to over 90k!)

Given I had experience with forums, I decided to post it to Serebii, because the fic community seemed much smaller and more open to giving feedback to one another. In an effort to try and, y’know, establish some connections, I actually read other pieces and reviewed them before posting any stories. This also helped me build up a backlog of chapters and prove to myself I enjoyed writing this enough to keep going.

When I finally did post the fic, it was a bumpy start, for sure. I do think I made a lot of mistakes out of the gate, including uploading chapters way too quickly for readers on Serebii to (reasonably) try to keep pace. That probably cost me a few potential readers... or made them silent readers who I never ended up hearing from. Which is why I’m especially thankful to @girl-like-substance (who I can seem to tag, drat) for all of the well-thought-out feedback given throughout the fic’s run. I don’t think I would’ve made such significant strides in my writing otherwise... and there are plenty of long-running fics where the quality tends to stagnate.

In any case... it was thanks to a request from @deliriousabsol to put the fic somewhere more mobile-friendly that I chose to mirror Guiding Light on FFN starting in October 2017. I would’ve kept going on Serebii had she not asked so nicely, so she’s the one you can thank for it showing up there! (She’s a fellow author who does cyberpunk-themed fics and art and her characters have cameoed in the fic.)

And, honestly, I’m just... beyond shocked at what wound up happening to the fic once it hit FFN. Well, actually, for the first several months I was lucky if I even got a comment when I put up a chapter. I’m not sure any of the people who first commented on FFN still follow the fic anymore. I haven’t seen/heard from them at all, so I assumed they moved on with their lives.

In any case, around March of 2018, the word count on FFN passed 300k and... somehow, the fic starting getting more attention. Like, a lot more attention. This was... not really something I was even remotely prepared for.

(Yes, this means there’s gonna be a giveaway. More on that later.) I never would’ve thought I’d reach a number like this. I never imagined I’d meet another PMD author who’d be willing to do a fun collab (thanks @virgil134, Spiteful Murkrow, and Namohysip). I really did not imagine that I’d ever get fanart of characters that I wrote (huge thanks @thebreak-ofdawn, @ask-nicky-and-others, and @cresselia92). I mean, above everything, I not expect the fic or characters to resonate with anybody the way it wound up.

A part of me feels like I don’t really deserve it. I’ve made a lot of serious gaffes with writing this. When initial Serebii feedback had people intrigued by Shane’s jerkass attitude (when I didn’t actually intend for him to come off as a jerk), I dialed things up in the hopes I’d keep their attention. It probably cost me readers. Then there’s the slow pacing of the early episodes and the mistake of making Special Episode 3 as long as it was... which my speaks to my (bad) tendency to give into some of my strongest impulses even though I had an outline I was trying to stick to.

And, I mean, there’s also some of the “shamlessly shameful” stuff I’ve done with the fic. I’m not fooling myself. Guiding Light has grown progressively more furry and, uh, probably fanservicey, too. All the big furbait (and some scalebait) ‘mons are accounted for. There’s a lot more sexual humor when I initially promised myself I would stay away from romance and keep everything platonic. I practically turned Xerneas into waifu bait, if some of these asks are anything to go by. This blog certainly didn’t help in that regard. Maybe I’m just being my usual nervous self? 

I am worried that this fic’s performance has, somehow, affected my thoughts and behavior. There are very popular fic authors who let their popularity get to their head... or chose to open up Patreons (something that makes me uncomfortable) or start doing things like taking commissions for written pieces, which is understandable... though I think it’s an easy way to lose your passion for writing. I guess some of that worry stems from a debacle I learned about on a Discord server I’m in, but that’s not something I’m comfortable discussing publicly. 

And I haven’t even talked much about the blog itself. Like, it somehow passed 100 followers? Where? When? How? I don’t actually draw stuff like many other Pokéasks. And, like, for a lot of folks, I have no idea if they’ve actually read the fic or just check in on the blog. It’s the same with the fic, I suppose. If you’re a silent reader/follower, I would really love to hear from you! I promise... I don’t bite or anything. I’d love to know what (if anything) you’re thinking. And if you’re a blog that’s following this one and we haven’t interacted, please feel free to reach out! It’s honestly hard to tell if people like what I’m doing, so any feedback is always appreciated.

In any case, if I haven’t lost you by now, I guess all I can say is... thank you. Thank you all so much for all of the support... whether it’s on the fic, the blog, or both of them. I really do hope this final episode can meet your expectations. I’ll try my very best to make this an ending to remember. Nothing would make me happier than to hear you guys enjoy it and feel it does justice to the PMD series.

Sorry for all the rambling. The inbox is open again if you’d like to send any messages for the ficaversary. Again, thank you all so much! You’re the best!

[avengersassemble-fics]

Unexpected Mutant

Steve Rogers x Reader

Previous Chapter

Link to Master Post

Word Count: 2.7k

AN: Sorry for the wait idk what happened. But this has been one of my favorite things I’ve ever written (the story in general), so pls don’t let this flop.

PS I’m no longer doing tag lists since I can’t keep up with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There was a flash, and you had Steve pinned under you, his helmet tossed somewhere and his temple bleeding. He was whispering his pleas to you, and before you could finish your blow, you jerked awake. You glanced around the lightly lit room, the fire place still had a small flame burning and your eyes traveled over the three sleeping men. Sam, Bucky, and Steve were sound asleep, and you sat up and rubbed your face.

In Bucharest, every few months you had the same dream - hurting your friends, your family. It ended the same way every time as well, you’d wake up crying and Bucky would wake up in seconds, and hold you through your episode. This time, you silently crawled over the back of the couch you were sleeping on and grabbed a jacket you had found in a drawer earlier and slipped outside into the cold night.

You eased yourself down onto one of the steps, releasing a tense sigh. At this point you missed your healing factor, and knew it would just get worse from here. You stared up at the beautifully star lined night sky, and closed your jacket as you heard the door open behind you. Steve stood in the frame for a second, looking down at your outline. You knew he was there, and glanced over your shoulder at him, so he stepped outside.

“What are you doing out here?” he questioned, his voice low from just waking up. He slid the door closed behind him and took a seat next to you, and you shrugged, glancing back to the night sky.

“Bad dream.. You?”

Steve’s eyes didn’t leave your face and you could see a small smile on his lips, “I heard you moving around and wanted to check on you.”

You nodded your understanding and a silence fell between you two, and Steve didn’t know what to say, but you started talking.

“I never got to say I was sorry, when we got back from that mission..” you trailed off and Steve gaped at you, starting to shake his head, “No, please.. I need to say this Steve.”

Steve looked down to the ground, and you continued, “I was starting to see things, and I knew.. I knew I didn’t have much time before everything kicked off, and I was angry. At everything.”

Steve leaned his arms against his knees, leaning forward, letting you speak, you bit your lip to hold back your tears, “I’m so sorry I left,” you whispered, and Steve finally met your eyes, “I’m so so sorry I had Tony lie to you-”

“(Y/N),” he cut you off, closing the gap between you both, and his hand found your cheek, wiping away a tear from your cheek, “I didn’t mean what I said, back then.”

You sniffled a bit, and he smiled warmly at you, “I was never mad, when you did that for Sam I realized how much you meant to me,” he paused and dragged his thumb below your lip, “how much I loved you.”

You wanted to embrace him then and there, but he continued, “When I held you that day, when you.. When you died. I knew I waited too long to tell you I love you,” he smiled sadly at you, “I love you, (Y/N).”

You eased yourself closer, Steve’s hands cupping your face and he kissed you. Slowly his lips pressed against yours and you melted against his chest. His fingers lightly danced against your cheeks and hair, before gently pulling away, your hot breathes mixing together.

“I’ll never get tired of that,” you whispered, earning a chuckle from him.

“How about we go back inside,” he asked, rubbing your shoulder, “you need your rest.”

You nodded, and with Steve’s help you were back up on your feet and shuffling back inside quietly. Steve’s hand left yours as he eased himself back onto the floor, and you slowly laid back down on the couch. As you both fell asleep, you felt at peace, unknowing of what would occur the next day.

The sun rose and you were all on the move with empty stomachs. Steve and Sam sat in the front of the small car while Bucky and you were in the back seat, you behind Steve and Bucky behind Sam, who was practically in the soldiers lap. It was tight, even your legs were a bit squished behind Steve, but you couldn’t complain.

“Why did you have to pick the smallest car possible, Steve?”

Bucky could though, and you grinned secretly to yourself.

“It was the only one that looked discrete enough,” Steve defended, and Bucky grunted.

“Then how much longer until we meet this connection of yours? I need to stretch my legs.”

“I’m not getting out,” Sam replied, earning a glare from Bucky, and you placed your had over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing. Bucky glared your way before throwing his arm along the back of the seat, “Come on seriously, how much longer?”

Steve was slowing the car down to make a turn down an abandoned road, another car further down the street in front of your view. You peeked around Steve’s body and saw a blonde exiting the chair, typing away on her phone. You didn’t notice the side eye that Sam gave Steve, settling a little further into his seat.

Bucky grumbled lowly, and you patted his leg to calm him down. Steve put the car in park and unbuckled himself, “I’ll be right back” earning just nods from the car. He opened his driver door and got out, his tall body towering the small Volkswagen Beetle and shut the door, the car moving just a bit and a heavy air settling into the vehicle.

You peered around the seat as Steve made it to the blonde, who smiled at him and put her phone away, and you looked towards Sam, “Who is that?”

“That would be Sharon Carter.”

You raised a brow, “Carter? As.. in..?”

“Yeah, that Carter,” he answered and you nodded your head, sitting back into your seat.

You watched as she opened her trunk and showed him something inside, and he was probably thanking her as the gentleman that he is. All three of you watched as they continue to speak, and there in that moment, almost in slow motion as if to taunt you, her arm reached out to his neck, and their lips met.

A far away voice called your name, and you felt as if you vision went fuzzy, a headache forming in your head and your hands suddenly clenched. The voice called your name again and everything came flooding back. You weren’t sitting in that cramped small car, but on the steps of a stoop back in New York.

The scenery was so familiar, yet foreign, and people walked past you as if you didn’t exist. A small part of you was grateful to be out of the car, and you stood to stretch your legs. Taking a step down onto the sidewalk, you ran your hand over the concrete siding of the steps and looked around.

It really was like you were invisible. And you realized why when your eyes landed on a familiar friend.

“Thought you could use saving again,” the slick voice said, and you couldn’t help but rush towards them and throw your arms around their neck.

Loki happily embraced you, his hands holding onto your back and the nape of your neck. It had been several months since he had last seen you, but he had checked in every once in awhile when he could. It was especially easier since Thor and him were on the planet to find their father, Odin. Finding you was a bit tricky since you weren’t where he had last checked in with you, but he deduced that wherever Steve was.. You would be with him.

“Loki what the fuck,” you mumbled, pulling away to look at him, “you’re in.. a black suit.”

He grinned, “Had to blend in with you Midguardians.”

“Blend in? By wearing the most extra suit I’ve ever seen?” you laughed which earned a smile from him, and you paused for a moment.

“Wait, you’re here?” you breathed, your hands going back to his shoulders, “Really here?”

“On Earth? Yes. My brother and I we’re uh searching for Odin,” his hands went to your hands and held them down between the two of you, “but here with you? Not quite.”

He noted your frown and he smiled, rubbing the back of your hands, “Listen. Once all this mess is settled with my brother, I promise to come back and whisk you away from all this.. Mortal drama, and live a little.”

You chuckled and he dropped your hands, “I’m serious. But.. It’s time for us to part again.”

“Gotta stop doing this to me Laufeyson. Gonna break a girls heart one of these days.”

With one last chuckle, he pulled you back into a hug for a few more moments, and you rested your chin on his shoulder. You had never figured out why Loki made you feel so comfortable, so safe, and he didn’t know why he enjoyed your company so much. But these moments did mean a lot, even though they were short and brief, they still managed to give you that push you need. Loki released you from his arms and after taking you in for a few more second, he took a step back and turned his back to you, making his way down the street. Someone cut around him and once you got a clear view again, he was gone almost as quick.

And just like that you were back to sitting next to Bucky Barnes, and Sam Wilson in the front seat of the car. No time had passed with your interaction with the God of Mischief, and Bucky quickly turned to you. You glared, your hands reaching forward to push the driver seat up and you pushed the door open and stepped out of the vehicle. You slammed the door closed as hard as you could. 

Steve’s eyes were open, his hands were up in an almost shocked position, and the rattle of the car made Sharon unlock from his lips, and they both turned towards the commotion. You, with a dead look on your face, were staring at them. You could almost make out a mumbled word from Steve, and you walked forward.

Steve thought for a moment on what to do. Does he try to say something? Does he take a step forward? No, god no, and yes. He took one step forward as you neared them, and you stopped, sending a stare up at him. He nervously swallowed the lump in his throat. You didn't say anything, much to their surprise, only shot Sharon a look before reaching into the trunk, grabbing all the gear yourself in your arms, minus Steve’s shield, and spun around and made your way back to the beetle.

The two men in the car were shocked, to say the least. They watched as you walked to the back of the car, threw open the trunk, set the things inside, and slammed that shut too. Bucky’s eyes never left your face, and Sam looked ahead to see Steve grabbing his shield, and Sharon giving him a sad smile. Steve turned around to see you getting back into the car, not looking his way, and he sighed.

The ride to the airport was awkward, to say the least. No one really spoke, and there was music playing very lowly through the radio. Steve stared ahead at the road, checking the rearview mirror every once in awhile to see your face, Sam stared ahead as well, and Bucky was just watching you. You, on the other hand, completely tuned the other men out as you stared at the scenery passing by.

It really was such a pretty country.

The silence was short lived as Steve pulled into a parking garage, away from all the other vehicles he put the small car in park and shut the engine. Everyone was eager to get out and stretch their legs, and you didn’t wait for Steve to exit, and instead slid onto the passenger side and followed behind Bucky. Steve noticing this, breathed out a pent up sigh, and stepped out, towering over the small car and looked around.

“So what are we waiting for?” Bucky asked, and you were walking down the lane away from them. Steve’s eyes followed you, but still answered his question as he walked away after you.

“Some friends.”

It didn’t take him long to catch up, you had made your way to the stairwell that led to the other floors, and there was an opening to peer out. You knew he would follow you, but he didn’t speak when he was finally behind you. The wind whipped your hair back, the cooler breeze made your cheeks feel nice and cold, and you leaned against the edge, carefully of your still healing bruises.

“I used to always sit in my room and think that I wanted this exciting life, to be something greater than I was, important. But I’ll tell you what, having something always interfere with your life is really fucking annoying.”

It was the first words you said to him in over an hour, and Steve took this as an invitation to walk closer, and lean over the edge with you, careful to not get too close if you may retaliate.

But you didn’t.

“Do you ever miss just having a semi-normal life?”

It was a loaded question, one that made Steve frown towards you, who stared off into the distance and didn’t look his way. He traced over the edges of your face, and looked down at your laced fingers.

“I used to. I would’ve given anything to just go back, and live my life out in the past. With.. With Peggy.”

You didn’t react, he didn’t expect you to. Deep down you knew his answer, but he continued.

“But then.. I got this. These people became my family, and it made it easier to be without that life. And then I also met you. And you became my everything, and all I can think about now is being with you for as long as I can.”

You glanced his way, “You hated when we first met.”

“I wouldn’t say hate, more like intimidated.” he answered honestly, smiling down at his hands, and you finally turned to face him. He raised a brow and looked over to you past his shoulder.

“Oh I intimidated Captain America? Wow, I feel like a total badass now,” you smiled lightly, and so did Steve, but it fell quickly, “I’m not mad, by the way.”

Now this made him turn and face you, “You’re..not?”

You shook your head, “I mean you didn’t.. Reciprocate it so.. No,” you paused and he grinned, and slid his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. You fell into it, resting your head on his chest and he rubbed your back, “everyone’s just lucky I didn’t lose my shit and fight her.”

Steve chuckled, shaking his head, “I promise.. When all this is over,”

“-And we become fugitives of the law?” you interrupted, looking up at him.

“And we become fugitives,” he agreed, and pushed some hair behind your ear, “I promise, we can just runaway and get one of those semi-normal lives.”

You smiled up at him, a silky noise leaving your throat that sounded like agreement, “With all our fugitive friends?”

Steve’s hands wrapped in yours as you both started to head back, everyone waiting on you two, “They can be close by. But maybe just us for a little bit.”

It sounded like the perfect dream. Just to take some time and be alone, which is something you never got to do as a couple, or in general for a very long time. You could see it now, a cute little place far away where no one would recognize you, be able to really spend some time with Bucky on getting rid of all the things Hydra put in his head, maybe you could have a farm, you always wanted something like that.

And it was true. It was all the perfect, unattainable dream. Because in the span of another hour, it become just that. A dream.

[zoeytheweeb]

UPDATE: Please read (don’t worry it’s nothing bad I promise)

Okay I know I haven’t really posted anything, and yes I have been lurking on Tumblr for the last few weeks (maybe a month now? idk) but that was mostly to read salt fics and look at memes. Anyways, on to the important stuff. And by important, I mean this is just an update on what I’ve been doing and why there hasn’t been any new chapters which I’m so so so sorry for not uploading anything. BEWARE, this is a pretty long post (at least for me, it’s probably fine for everyone else lol)

First off, THANK YOU SO MUCH like holy shit I just noticed I had 200 followers and like oh my god that’s literally the most amount of followers I have ever gotten so tytytyty!

Secondly, I haven’t abandoned #notmychatnoir, more like I’ve been struggling to write chapter 4 the way I want to write it because suddenly everything I wrote in it so far has made me unhappy and I also realized that while I mentioned it, I never really showed the citizens and press (other than the miracuclass of course) being salty of Chat Noir themselves so I’ve been rearranging things and removing a few other things to save for either chapter 5 or 6. The only problem is I also want to make chapter 4 longer, even if only slightly, than the other chapters simply as an apology for taking so long to get it out.

I’ve also been debating with myself over the outline I came up with for the story, which is why I’m asking everyone now: What would you like to see in #notmychatnoir? I still plan on having Felinette fluff, and I will not be doing an Adrien redemption in this fic seeing as the whole point of this was to be super salty towards him, but if anyone has any ideas of what they wanna see then I promise that I will at least consider it. I make no promises of your ideas being added, but they will definitely be helpful.

As for K12, I had a complete outline of what I wanna do for each story, but I’ve been thinking about changing some of the stories before writing them. Most of the chapters I’ve already planned out for each song will still happen the way I want them to happen, but that’ll depend on what my hands decide to type lol. Also, I must remind everyone that most of the chapters are unconnected one-shots, with only a few of them being connected into their own stories. However, depending on how each one-shot ends, I might make a follow-up or aftermath of what happens. Keyword being might though, there’s no guarantee that I’ll actually do it if I can’t find the inspiration or if nobody has any specific requests for said aftermaths.

I would also like to know if anyone has any requests for K12. Specifically, any scenarios they would like to see play out? They have to fit with the song though (Class Fight, Detention, any K12 song I haven’t written and posted yet, which is literally everything but Wheels on the Bus as of right now lol). I also want to know if there are any pairings you would like to see, or any specific character being there for Marinette during whichever scenario either you, the readers or I, the writer, decide on. For example, the friend that gave me the idea for K12 in the first place wanted the Highschool Sweethearts chapter to have Marichat, IIRC.

You can reply in the comments or reblogs but it will be a lot easier for me, now that my notifications tend to blow up every now and then, if you simply sent an ask or a DM/PM regarding any requests you may have for #notmychatnoir, K12, or even if you want me to write a one-shot or drabble based on any scenario you may have in mind. For that last one though, I can’t promise I’ll be able to do all of your requests, much less perfectly and on time (because I’m still a teenager dealing with high school and family and procrastination in general), but I do promise that I will at least try.

Lastly, I don’t know if I mentioned it (I feel like I did) but if I didn’t then I planned on writing a somewhat salty, and bittersweet, one-shot based on Melanie Martinez’s song Pity Party. It’s gonna be Lukanette, and it was supposed to be out on my birthday but I didn’t finish in time nor did I finish in time for the other deadline I gave myself. However, I still planned on releasing that particular one-shot this year so I have been working on that for the last few weeks and I’d like to think it’s almost done. I’m not going to say you should get your hopes up, but, I do plan on finishing it before New Year’s eve. I will try to finish it tonight, in time for Christmas eve or Christmas itself, but I’ve learned that I shouldn’t try to give myself any specific deadlines so I make no promises but at least I’m trying to finish it. So, look forward to that! Or don’t, if Lukanette’s not your cup of tea, then that’s fine.

That was all for my fanfic-related updates. If you would like to read my short life update, then keep reading. If you don’t then that’s all for this post.

Life update: I’ve been officially on winter break since last Thursday (the 19th), and boy is the small freedom amazing lmao. This semester wasn’t exactly my best (specifically my geometry grades and just procrastination in general) but I at least managed to get an A in French and passed all of my final exams except for my Geometry final (although that didn’t surprise me because I was lucky enough to even get a D in that class as my overall grade for the semester).

So now that I don’t have to worry about school until the break is over, which won’t be until January 9th I think, either that or the 8th, I have slightly more free time on my hands that I’ve been spending just catching up on anime, sleep, and fanfics that I’ve been reading (and writing, of course). I’ve also spent most of my money on Persona 5 and Blazblue: Cross Tag Battle so I’ve been spending time playing both of those games as well. Spoiler alert: both of those games are amazing and I’m totally gonna buy that Neopolitan DLC eventually because she’s amazing and her Astral Finish is badass.

Also, even though I’ve been told that I shouldn’t try to grow up so fast, I’ve been thinking about getting a part-time job (because I can’t rely on monthly allowance and asking my mom for a loan forever, especially if I can’t even pay back that loan in time) and I also wanna learn how to drive so I’ve just been preparing myself for both important (to me at least) things.

Lastly (for real this time lol), one of my cousins is coming down to my city for a few days this week to celebrate his birthday which is great but also a perfect opportunity for me to spend more time with him and his brother because I feel like we’ve been growing apart and the fact that both of them are no longer single despite being the same age as me (heck, I’m the “middle child” out of the 3 of us lol) makes me feel really left out which is a big oof. So I’m looking forward to spending these next few days with them as well as finishing that one-shot I mentioned.

So yeah, life is gonna be somewhat hectic for me next year as I try to take baby steps into having a responsible life and be independent but overall it’s pretty good.

If you actually got this far into the post then thanks for reading about my life I guess lol.

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Witches, Chapter 11: I split another giant chapter in half. In this portion, I set up a filler case that exists purely to set the scene and allow me to make up two very bad AA-style pun names; shit hasn’t quite gotten real but it sure is about to; and Athena makes some new friends.

[Seelie of Kurain Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

[Witches Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

----

The Wright Anything Agency isn’t lucky.

Apollo should just expect that from the start. He didn’t, this time, because he trusted Phoenix - that being a loaded statement - to know what he was talking about and assumed - bad idea - that if he bothered to say Tenma Taro would be weaker at midsummer, then there was some chance of waiting. That it would lay low to wait out the fervor of the trial and the attention turned toward the Vale. That it wouldn’t wreak havoc immediately.

But they’re just a few days into May when the office phone rings with a call from a young woman who lives in Tenma Town and has been charged with robbing her prior place of employment. “Jinxie Tenma gave me your number,” she says, in between sobs, “and said you would believe me th - that - that I think Tenma Taro did it.”

“Of course we believe you,” Apollo assures her. Athena stands on her chair, propping herself on her desk, leaning forward to listen. With her ears, she can probably hear the other end of the line just fine. She might also be able to hear Apollo’s - not doubt, exactly, or disbelief, but the uncertainty he keeps feeling over Tenma Taro. None of them have seen it. They have Filch’s word, and they all know he wasn’t lying, but could he have been mistaken? Could Phoenix’s fae ‘friends’ have been mistaken in what they thought Phoenix was asking them about?

(He doubts it, but he still doesn’t think he knows well enough what they’re getting into.)

Athena searched all of LA’s used car lots for one that was yellow - “I’m like the cab driver for all of you at the agency, and also I just love yellow” - and with a new-old car they take the well-worn path back up to Nine-Tails Vale. Tenma Town is perched a little higher up the valley but has a similar old-fashioned cobblestone vibe, though some more modern office buildings dot the streets here and there. The town square is centered on a large fountain and a statue that Apollo doesn’t think is Tenma Taro, but it’s birdlike enough that it evokes that image. 

Their client, Isabella Pyrria - picked up overnight, released on bail in the morning, returned home, and called them as soon as she made it back - is still teary-eyed when they meet her at a bench by the fountain. She explains that she likes to go on walks in the evenings and her favorite route goes past the antiques store she was fired from at the beginning of April, and she hadn’t bothered to change her route because a lot of cool moths congregate under the awning at the cafe next door. She pulls out her phone to show them pictures. Athena nods at each photo, solemnly and knowingly. “I’m more of a marine mammals person myself,” she says, “but I like the fuzzy ones and their…” She holds her hands to her forehead, two fingers raised on each, and wiggles them. “Antenna. What’re your favorite animals, Apollo?”

“Can we get back to the case, please?” he asks.

Isabella swears to them that when she passed by the store sometime around 10 pm, there was nothing wrong. She didn’t stop long to investigate this spring’s batch of caterpillars, because she was trying to get to the corner store before it closed, because she hadn’t had anything for dinner. She made it there, stayed until closing chatting with the owner and petting the bodega cat, and when she came back out she heard the sirens and saw the police cruiser lights. 

The antique store’s security camera, mounted outside above the door, broke two months ago and was never fixed, but only employees knew this. Security tapes from cameras outside other buildings further down the street in both directions showed she was the only person who had passed by either. Anyone walking to the antiques store would be spotted by either of those.

“But Tenma Taro doesn’t have to walk,” Isabella says. “It could just fly straight down and land in front and not be seen.”

“Why would a yokai rob an antiques store?” Athena asks. “Why would a yokai rob anywhere?”

“To cause chaos?” Apollo suggests. What do yokai even do - they’re all so very individual? He did some cursory internet research but couldn’t find anything on Tenma Taro; it might as well have just come out of nowhere here in California. The scroll Jinxie said was the only image of it really is only one of two, the Forbidden Chamber scroll showing the gold ore being the other. 

“I don’t know why anyone would rob that antiques store,” Isabella says, toying with the hair tie around her wrist. “It’s got pretty stuff but it’s all cheap. There’s nothing worth taking there.”

Her fingers, plucking at the hair tie and smacking it against her wrist, are illuminated red. “Ms Pyrria,” Apollo says. “Are you being fully honest with us? There really isn’t anything that you or anyone would want to take?”

She lowers her eyes to her hands. “We did have, um, a coupon deal with a really good pizza place over in the Vale. Supposed to give one out with every purchase but I kinda just, um, took a whole bunch once I got fired. But that was it.”

That looks true. Apollo glances to Athena, who nods with a secondary confirmation. Okay. They’ve got this much figured out. Now to the scene of the crime.

The antique shop’s windows are shattered, everything that was displayed in them cracked and shattered across the floor inside and the sidewalk outside. Athena leans into the window to examine a typewriter. “You don’t think there could’ve been some kind of magic artifact in here that it wanted to get?” Apollo asks. “Something languishing as just a normal family heirloom that someone dumped off here?”

“Ooh, maybe,” Athena says. “I guess they’d probably have to take inventory to really find out if stuff’s missing, and this is uh - big mess.” She points with her thumb at the police tape across the doorway. “Can we just head in?”

“Er—” They should probably introduce themselves to a detective first, lower the chances of being yelled at once they’re inside. Apollo glances in through the doorway, hoping to catch sight of anyone in there investigating. Maybe most of the investigating already happened? “I guess…?”

Before he’s really finished saying it, Athena ducks under the tape and heads inside. Apollo lifts it up to follow her. If he’s honest with himself he’s not sure what he hopes they can find. Feathers again, maybe? The interior of the shop is densely packed with tables and shelving upturned and overturned, and what would have once been a clear path or two through are cluttered. Apollo steps over a tall wicker flower stand, lying on its side, and a pillow that was probably hand-embroidered. Athena has stopped with her neck craned to the side, reading the titles of the few books still left on a shelf. 

Oh, this is going to be rough, to stay focused, when this isn’t a murder and there’s not a particular area, the place where a body was, the place where the killing happened, to hone in on. He’s defended a smattering of other cases between the large nightmarish ones that weren’t murders, but neither did they have very complicated scenes. And no co-counsel distracted by knick-knacks, either. 

“Athena,” he says. She jumps, already having become engrossed. “We should probably give the whole place a once-over, see if anything jumps out, find a detective to talk to, and then we can try and look for anything else that—”

“Hey!” A woman’s voice cuts through the stillness, a loud, indignant squawk. “Who’s in here? This is a - oh! Yo! Apolly!”

Athena’s eyebrows rise and disappear beneath her bangs. “D-Detective Faraday?” Apollo asks, turning around and unable to look for her due to making sure he doesn’t place his feet on anything breakable. 

“Long time no see!” Kay chirps, with an air of familiarity that far surpasses the scant two times they’ve actually met. From New Years he’s pretty sure that she gives Y-suffix nicknames to everyone she can, but that doesn’t make it any better when Athena is snickering at him. “I mean, I expected to see you soon, what with Tenma Taro, but not quite this soon. And who’s this?” She extends a hand to Athena. “Hi, I’m Detective Kay Faraday!”

“Defense attorney Athena Cykes!” The two seem to be competing to see who can more enthusiastically shake the other’s hand. “Nice to meet you! What can you tell us about the case so far?”

Laughing brightly, Kay shakes her head, her black hair flying everywhere. “I’m not Emmy,” she says. “I’m not just gonna purposely give up the prosecution’s whole case right here. Besides.” She props her hands on her hips. “Tonight we’re going hunting for Tenma Taro anyway, and I’m sure you’ll get enough accidental stuff from us on how we totally believe yeah, it’s that big ol’ turkey causing trouble.”

Athena asks who “Emmy” is, and as Kay explains Ema and her general lack of concern for prosecutorial secrecy, Apollo picks his way through the mess to a door left ajar in the back, into a smaller, even more cluttered room, where none of the objects still left on the shelving have price tags. Prosecutor Debeste stands wedged between a rocking chair and a dresser with a shattered mirror, his upper body twisted awkwardly to give him room to move his arms and jot something down in a little notebook. “Where’s the line between antiques and junk?” Apollo asks, deciding that there is no good way any further into this room, and since he can see most of it, he should probably just stay planted here in the doorway.

“How much it sells for, maybe?” Sebastian offers up weakly. “Is this a trick question?”

“I guess it is, since I don’t have an answer.” Apollo has difficulty trying to survey the room; there’s too much going on, too much clutter that keeps drawing his eye one way and then another, and it takes longer than he thinks it should for him to notice the deep scratches in the wall. Three rivets straight down, tearing apart the wallpaper and wood, about two inches in between them, spaced like claw marks. “Do you have an explanation for that?” he asks, pointing to it.

Sebastian shakes his head and his glasses slide down his nose. “Not really a plausible one besides ‘giant bird monster’. The defendant could persum - presumably have made them with something she found laying around here, there’s some old farm tools kinds of things, but then the question is—”

“Why bother?” 

Sebastian nods sharply. “Exactly. It’s not a message or any code or something that the shop owner recognizes, and it would be a waste of time with more chance to be caught. And with—” He points down, in front of Apollo, and Apollo examines the floor to see more gashes in the wood, of the same spacing as those on the wall, like a giant bird-monster walking about on its talons. “That, too.” 

And maybe someone’s trying to frame a yokai for the crime, again, play on those fears, but it seems like even more effort to go to. “Is there anything noticeably missing?” Apollo asks. Plenty could be not-so-noticeably missing, all kinds of little knick-knacks, but that can’t be the purpose - no one is going to rob a store for 25-cent porcelain cat figurines. “Cash register, or any large or valuable stuff?”

“The register hadn’t been touched,” Sebastian says. “No fingerprints, nothing missing. The only thing the owner noticed so far and told me is that back here she had - she said it was a weird-looking stone she’d never figured out a price for because she didn’t know what it was or was made of. She said it was roughly” - he holds up his hands, less then a foot apart, and cupped toward each other. “And shaped like a six.”

Apollo’s stomach sinks, which has become a very familiar sensation in this kind of context. “A magatama?” he asks, pressing a hand to his forehead. He knew this wouldn’t be a normal case. It’s still going terribly. “A large magatama? That would be reason enough for Tenma Taro to break into a random human establishment, more than just scaring the townspeople.”

“If I were trying to scare the town, I’d hit up more than one place,” Athena says. She leans against the doorframe and peers in, as Kay attempts to squeeze in around her and past Apollo. “Just make it a random selection, no pattern, and not attack everywhere. Leave some dread that I’ll come back and get some of the people I spared before.”

“Dread’s a key part,” Kay agrees. “Especially drop some warning in advance, not enough for anyone to be able to stop you, but just enough to make them all anxious and freaked out waiting for the worst.”

“Okay, so you’re both evil,” Apollo says. Athena chortles and Kay breaks into full cackling. “That’s probably a good thing for me to know ahead of time, before we get any further on this.”

“Before we venture into the woods in the dark with them, you mean,” Sebastian says.

“In the dark?” Apollo repeats. “In the—”

“We’ve got, uh, ‘sources’,” Kay says, making the quotation marks with one hand, while in the other she holds and examines a teacup that had managed to survive the initial catastrophe. “Informants who’ve been keeping an eye out to make sure things don’t go belly-up without us knowing.”

“Like other detectives or officers or something?” Athena asks, with a few wide-eyed blinks of confusion. 

“Something,” Sebastian agrees. Apollo makes a note to himself to look out for crows. “But we know Tenma Taro doesn’t emerge during the day. You’ll have time to investigate in town; Ms Teak, the shop owner, went out for lunch but she told us she would be coming back, uh…” Sebastian checks his watch, pushing apart his sleeve and his glove to get to its face. “Soon? She lives above the shop, which is how she knew about the crime so quickly.”

“We should definitely talk to her, then,” Athena says. “And then at sunset we’ve got a whole new investigation to start!”

-

Ms Teak is a short, white-haired old lady who invites Apollo and Athena up to her living quarters above the shop, offers them tea, and insists that they call her “Auntie” even after they tell her they are Isabella’s lawyers. “That girl,” she says with a sad shake of her head, nearly spilling the tea that she pours for Athena, and Athena almost jostles the pot out of her hands eagerly trying to reach over and steady it. “She’s a sweet girl, but her head’s so far up in the clouds at the best of times. I just couldn’t keep rebalancing the register because she got her math all wrong. Or I’d tell her where to go clean and find an hour later she hadn’t done anything because she’d started with dusting the bookshelf and started thumbing through the first book to catch her eye. Cookies, dears?”

“Er, no thanks,” Apollo says at the same time Athena says, “Sure! Thank you very much!”

Depending on what sorts of witnesses she takes this offer from, she might end up in big trouble; but Apollo showed the blackmail letter to L’Belle and he stole it and destroyed it, so maybe he’s not that much better at proper witness protocol. Other subjects that should probably be taught in law school.

“I hate to think that such a sweet girl would be capable of this,” Ms Teak continues, returning to the small round table and setting down a little plate of tea biscuits. All of the decor of the house is mismatched, like it’s all come out of the antiques store at some point or another: a wicker chair next to a polished brown wood one next to a bar stool of almost equal height to the table, a white-and-gold teapot on a blue porcelain saucer, a cutting board shaped like a pig hanging on the kitchen wall visible from where they now sit in the tiny cramped dining area. “I had to let her go, you understand. It simply wasn’t working out. But I’ve got no ill-will toward the dear girl, and I’d hoped she had none toward me. Oh, dear, dear.” She pulls the wicker chair away from the table, that Apollo now can see the green flowered seat cushion and the pillow with an embroidered - opossum? Is that a possum? - resting against the back. 

“How did she react when you told her that you were firing her?” Apollo asks. He watches Athena reach slowly for another cookie, like if she moves slow enough she won’t be noticed, and when she returns it to her mouth she nibbles at it like a squirrel, if a squirrel were nibbling because it realized it isn’t professional or polite to just scarf it down. 

“Oh, the poor thing cried, of course. So embarrassed and ashamed of all the mistakes she’d made. Hated to think she’d failed at anything though I tried so hard to assure her that just because she wasn’t good at some things didn’t mean she wouldn’t find a passion that she could get her head locked into.”

“Yeah, I got a big sense of shame and sadness when she mentioned being fired, too,” Athena says quietly, tapping at the side of Widget. “Definitely not anything vindictive.”

“I do hope you’re right,” Ms Teak says. “I do hope you and that other nice young pair - how old are you? I swear all of you professional-types get younger and younger these days - can make sure she didn’t do it and find who did.” She sighs. “And I’ve got to clean up that mess they made, and I’d just gotten done all my spring reorganizing of the shop done, too.”

“The stone that was stolen from the back room,” Apollo says. “The prosecutor mentioned that. Do you remember where that came from originally?”

“Oh, I had that old thing for years,” Ms Teak replies. “Maybe a decade or more, now. I don’t quite remember when but my memory is sharp that it was Ms Tenma, rest her soul - the mayor’s wife, I mean, dear little Jinxie’s mother - who brought it in, asked me if I’d ever seen anything like it and told me she didn’t want it back, that I was free to sell it or get rid of it however I like. She said she didn’t know what it was either, but it made her so uneasy she wanted it out. Didn’t ask where she got it from, didn’t feel that was my business. Strange things happen in this town, you know.”  

Apollo knows. Apollo knows well that this one of, but not the only, the towns where strange things happen. Ms Teak glares at them over her teacup. “Best not to ask, sometimes.” She says it like advice, a warning. “And I kept telling myself I should get rid of it, but I’ve been so darned curious that I could never make myself ask for a few dollars for it, or just throw it in a river, you understand?” She shakes her head, sending her white curls bouncing. “Maybe whatever it belongs to wanted it back now, and poor Isabella’s lucky she wasn’t walking past at the time it arrived. Though maybe sharp young lawyers like you two don’t believe in that sort of thing?” She raises an eyebrow as she takes another sip of her tea.

“We’re the lawyers who defended Mayor Tenma when he was charged with murder last month,” Apollo says, hoping that the mayor’s popularity has continued to climb, hoping that he was never so hated here in Tenma Town, and that his saying this won’t be a black mark. “We’re, um, familiar with the goings-on around here.”

“That was you?” she asks, surprised, setting down her teacup and saucer. “My goodness. All of those big cases you must get, if the mayor chose you as his lawyers, and here you are up this way for little Isabella.”

“We don’t really—” Apollo begins, because really, it was a lucky fluke that they got to represent the mayor, and luckier that they didn’t entirely blow it, but Athena kicks him in the shin before he can correct Ms Teak on their office’s humble and confusing existence. 

“Thank you darlings oh so much for helping out our little town, once again.”

“It’s our pleasure!” Athena replies, taking another cookie. 

-

“She’s the most pleasant witness we’ve ever had!” Athena says brightly, once they’ve left behind the shop to compile their information back in the sunlight of the street. “What a great chance of pace!”

“You’ve had exactly one case before this,” Apollo says. “You can’t say that like—”

“Like Filch and L’Belle weren’t both terrible?” Athena interrupts. She’s unequivocally correct, of course, even without her knowing that Apollo, after his first case, would have had the same reaction to a cooperative, forthcoming, honest, friendly client; after dealing with Olga Orly, Phoenix, and Kristoph. Apollo would have had this same response, but didn’t, because all of the witnesses in his second case were also terrible. 

She grins at his silence, knowing what it means, and from her skirt pocket produces yet another cookie. 

-

The alderman’s manor and garden are closed to the public of Nine-Tails Vale - and indeed, anywhere else - for the foreseeable future, but Jinxie still has possession of the master key and has been in to clean up and keep dust from gathering. “The alderman’s wife is still in the hospital,” she explains, “but Papa and I went to see her and she told us that she trusted the town was in good hands with us.” She squares her shoulders, a stack of charms still arrayed in her hand, ready to strike, but instead of slapping one onto Apollo’s head she just offers one to him and Athena. “So we can’t let her down!”

Kay sits on the carpet in the foyer with three boxes of pizza and one of breadsticks. “Ms Teak let me and Sebby take some coupons!” she chirps. “I thought it’s important that we all get some food in us before we head out! Sebby’s on his way over, but I flew out here ahead of time to get us food. You’re welcome!” She waves a breadstick at them and Athena enthusiastically flings herself to the floor, Jinxie sinking down with a bit more grace. 

Out the window, the sun is no longer visible, its last vestiges of light barely illuminating the horizon, but the sky is still the light blue of early dusk, nothing that Apollo would yet be worried about roaming around in. Sebastian arrives, with Phoenix and Trucy trailing him, in the blue-black, when several stars are visible along with the moon. “Papa’s up in the Fox Chamber,” Jinxie tells Phoenix. “Trying to get the Forbidden Chamber back in order, make sure it’s all set up.” She offers all three of them warding charms, as she had before. “And he’s talking to the woman who showed up earlier.”

“What woman?” Phoenix asks through a mouthful of pizza.

Jinxie shrugs. “I slapped her with a warding charm when she came in - not one of the protective charms I’ve given you, but one to keep a demon in and stop it from using its powers. And she didn’t mind that so I guessed she can’t be that evil, and Papa has the Nine-Tails to protect him. She’s very pretty - um, she has black hair and was wearing a kimono.”

Oh. That is very unfortunately familiar, too. Phoenix presses a hand over his face and sighs. “Did I do something wrong?” Jinxie asks. “Do you know her?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Phoenix assures her, and after the initial moment has passed, he looks more concerned with whether he wants to finish his slice of pizza. “I know both of the likely options, and there are - there could be worse things. Or people.”

“Mr Wright, do you know how to say things that aren’t cryptic and ominous?” Kay asks. Apollo’s glad he’s not the only one left wondering that question, and that Kay is secure enough to say it out loud, too. Maybe sooner or later Phoenix will get the point, will get tired of hearing it and adapt. Or maybe sooner than that they’ll all be eaten by a yokai.

Jinxie springs to her feet and races up the stairs, calling for her father. She returns two minutes later with Mayor Tenma and a woman who Apollo recognizes, her straight black hair as glassy as ice and her dark, sad eyes. Jinxie was right to take a precaution against her - stuck right in the center of her forehead is a paper charm. “Well, this is a surprise,” Phoenix says lightly, but his posture shifts the moment he sees her, contracting, tightening up from the loose ease he held himself with. When he finishes speaking his mouth has a plastic quality to it, the corner frozen in a lopsided and failed smile. “What are you doing here, Iris?”

He looks so much less comfortable with her here than he did in the office last year, but there’s more people here, more than just Apollo and Trucy to wonder what it is about them, between them. Iris appears no more confident, bowing to Phoenix and never quite straightening up, her hands folded in front of herself, her shoulders turning slightly inward with them. “Since you consulted the Mystic on this matter of Tenma Taro, she was concerned about what may happen to you attempting to reimprison it yourself. Or even with assistance.”

“And I assured Miss… Iris,” Mayor Tenma says, his pronunciation of her name slow and doubtful, like he knows what she is, knows this name is not entirely true to her, “that with the power of the Nine-Tailed Fox, there is little to fear.”

“As I understand.” Iris inclines her head up and to the side, and when her hair swings down and catches the light, as Apollo remembers, it has an auburn sheen. “Understand me, Mayor, that I am not here to tread on your authority, nor to doubt the power of your village’s guardian. When I say that the Fox is weaker than it was when Tenma Taro was first imprisoned, I do not mean that it and you are weak - simply weaker. And there is a ritual to prepare in the Chamber to bind the demon again, and a vast swath of forest to search through. Are we to wait for you to be finished with the Chamber to begin? The Mystic requested of me to keep our friends safe, and that is what I intend to do.”

“I’m surprised Maya didn’t come down here herself,” Phoenix says. “I think I’m overdue for her yelling at me.” He says it tonelessly, with a roll of his eyes, though the implication is obvious, that Maya is one of the fae, and Apollo would never be so casual about having one of the fae angry with him. 

“Oh, don’t worry.” Iris smiles with lips pressed tight together. “She will not forget that she has criticisms of your handling of the past eight years. But we all agreed for this situation that both she and my sweet little sister bear a worrying lack of subtlety that could have unfortunate repercussions.”

“Right,” Phoenix agrees. “Pearls would slap a yokai straight through a house. Take care of that situation but level half the town in the process.”

“Indeed. And I was already in the area, over at Hazakurain, and it was not too far to come over. Sister Bikini’s back has been bothering her more lately and I had thought to offer some assistance to the temple.” Iris’ smile gets a little wider, a little less forced. “She still asks after your well-being, and that of a certain handsome prosecutor as well.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Phoenix’s mouth quirks into an equally small smile, and then he claps his hands together and brings them up in front of his mouth. “All right,” he says. “What’s our plan? Iris? Mr Tenma?”

“I have spent these past two weeks, with the assistance of the Nine-Tails, seeking out Tenma Taro, but he has avoided me,” the mayor explains. “It is my hope that you would be able to assist in flushing him out and driving him to a place that I would be able to finish dragging him back into the Forbidden Chamber.”

“So we are gonna be bait!” Athena says. 

“No,” Phoenix says. He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sort of. Tenma Taro’s weak after being locked up for so long - not weak enough to not be a threat, but enough that it’s going to stay the hell away from its old enemy.” A wave of his hand in the direction of Mayor Tenma. “It’s not going to be so cautious when you kids go tromping into the woods. You’d just smell and seem like - people. Traces of magic, yeah, sure, but none of you are foxes.”

“So it’ll just think we’re tasty snacks and not expect us to kick its butt?” Athena asks.

“Tasty,” Trucy repeats. “Magically delicious, you mean.”

Iris giggles. Phoenix sighs and says, “Sebastian, you’re in charge.”

Sebastian freezes, eyes wide and shoulders hunched, his hands twisting around each other. He wears different gloves now than he did earlier; these have the fingers missing, for whatever reason. “Mr Wright, are you sure?”

A witch against a yokai. Apollo doesn’t really know what witches can do, in the abstract, and he certainly doesn’t know what powers Sebastian has - or the when, why, how, of him becoming a witch - but Phoenix must. Enough to have an expectation. “I’m not asking - or suggesting - that you try and fight it singlehandedly, but I think you’d be a big help in keeping it distracted.”

Neither Sebastian’s face nor his posture suggests that he agrees with this assessment. “And, Iris?” Phoenix asks. She doesn’t look surprised, turns her eyes on Phoenix slowly and blinks, waiting. “I’m sure whatever Maya told you was about me, but I’m pretty sure I’d be a liability if I was trying to keep up with everyone else through the woods, and—” 

“Your back pain is and always has been because you sit like a gargoyle,” Iris says. “But you would like me to keep your children from being killed.”

“Well.” Phoenix runs his hand through his hair all the way down to rub the back of his neck. “I wasn’t going to phrase it exactly like that. Those two” - he gestures at Kay and Sebastian - “are Edgeworth’s, not mine.”

“What?” Kay asks. “Mr Edgeworth’s my other dad, but you’re my other other dad! Are you disowning me? Have I been disowned? Why can’t you both be my dads?” She grins. Apollo remembers the conversation he had with Klavier about a particular betting pool.

“I do believe it’s been decided on your behalf,” Iris says to Phoenix. “But, yes, I will make sure none of them come to harm. If—” She frowns, her eyes narrowing, and she rolls them up toward the center of her forehead, as though trying to see Jinxie’s charm still left there. She raises a hand to it and falters, her fingers an inch from the paper. 

“Right,” Phoenix says, and he reaches over and peels the charm off of her head. 

“You can’t take it off yourself?” Trucy asks.

“There would hardly be a point to such a charm if any monster can just remove the bindings from herself,” Iris says. “Perhaps we use that charm ourselves, slap it upon Tenma Taro when we find him.”

“Ooh! I volunteer for that!” Kay bounces up and down and snatches the charm from Phoenix’s hand when he holds it out to her. “I’ll sneak up on him and whack him with it! And then, Seb, you chase it out into the open where the Amazing Nine-Tails can wrestle it back to prison!”

“You should all take some more charms,” Jinxie says, grabbing Trucy’s hands and dealing the paper slips into her palm like a card dealer setting up a game. “Make sure as soon as you see something strange, hit it!” 

“That’s sound advice,” Athena says, nodding sagely.

“That could get you arrested,” Sebastian says.

Athena raises her eyebrows and grins at Apollo. He has to suppress a groan. Somehow, in the madness of everything after, he’d almost forgotten about Athena flinging a police officer through the air. Between that, manipulating information from Fulbright, and Sebastian and Kay being plenty friendly (no matter how Kay tried to pretend she wasn’t giving out information), she’s going to get a very strange idea of what she can get away with.

Iris eyes the pizza crusts that someone left behind in the box, but seeing Apollo watching her, she quickly turns her head away, lifting her chin to feign regal posture.

Tenma Taro is going to kill them all, no question.

[haila-wetyios]

Raiding

Since it became a pretty long post, Imma just throw this under a Read More. It’s not about current tumblr drama fashion. So no popcorn scene for you peeps. Just my experience as a whole and to finally let go of a few feelings that kept weighting on me for a good while until my current team took me in.

The first time I ever advertised on a PF that I was seeking a raid team, was during the final months of ARR. I was a complete scaredy cat, anxious of whether I'd be good enough to work on a team that required more coordination than pugs to get things such as extreme primals or savage raids done. Off I go as a SMN main, panicked as my raid leader of that team joined my party for a brief interview. Afterwards though, during our first joint team efforts for HW content (Ravanna and Bismark extreme at that time) I discovered that I wasn't as bad as I thought. On the contrary, I was too perceptive of everything to the point I would rush to do mechanics assigned to our newbie healer who after several explanations would still not do the thing. Despite my huge insecurities of probably not doing the relevant rotations down to the last skill, my ego started to rise a bit when parsers started to take more and more of conversations between static members. And although I would never ask about my numbers directly, I would celebrate in silence when reading the overall party dps the moment I realized mine had been at the top even with a ninja and a dragoon in the party. That should have been a flag to me now that I look back for being a caster that was doing more damage than the melee. But I didn't know any better, and stayed with my group regardless throughout the entirety of gordias savage. Every week would be the same pummeling against the horrifying Faust dps check, then the first turn's boss, then the second turn until we finally hit the wall of jigglyman and disbanded. I didn't have much complains, despite how tiring it was, I had long since given up on those clears and instead turned each night into 'training to see how long I can last the moment shit hits the fan in any given fight'. And boy did I get a ton of experience down that lane.

The next times I started looking into content once more, I could only play the part of a sub for any group of people I trusted due to life and time issues. But I still took pride in being that one stable sub that could support any group on any extreme primal through HW. I still lament that I was never able to go through Midas and Alexander savage when they were relevant and merely watched from the sidelines.

Then SB came up, and I merely stood aside once more for the first Tier with Exdeath. Except this time, the frustrations of not having been there while I watched all my friends start doing EX's and savage content had finally gotten to me. And lo' and behold, suddenly I was back on square 1, trembling in fear while waiting on my PF announcement that I was looking for a group for Sigma (Kefka times). Nearly died the moment I had two people with interesting names join in my party and just grab me on the spot. I had no idea what I was getting into, they mentioned they just needed a caster slot for the new rag tag group they had built, but at least I had a team! Then the first day of raid came up, and right off the bat I was terrified at the fact that our raid leader was missing, being replaced just for that moment with the FC leader instead. Turns out my entire group save for the ninja, were a raiding FC with multiple groups going in through the week. And what was the first comment of the night pray tell? Well "No one should be here with X ilvl gear." Who was it aimed at? Well, to the only potato that for the first time was slightly outdated in 2 pieces of gear for not being active before the patch dropped. That was the moment that marked my spiraling down a rabbit hole that I wish I could let go of easily but still has a tight grip on me to this day.

I felt like crap, I fought my best and did research on how to be a better caster. Other than the FC leader's comment, no one berated me or spoke about me on a negative light. But it still left a mark in which I kept trying to prove myself and be useful. Suddenly I would find myself cursing at my skills. Hating how no matter how hard I tried with everything, I would never be able to even pass the goddamned Stone, Sky and Sea for savage raids. But we were still getting things done. Two new savage turns down in a single week of release? That felt incredible and also bittersweet. Because any time that my party members celebrated their purples and golds in fflogs, I would be in a corner, self destructing with greys. I kept trying and trying, until my coping mechanism ended up being "I'm just a fill in. But if I'm just this, I'm damn going to do a job stable enough to have a place here." Then things started turning out easier to deal with. I had noticed the goofiness of a lot of the members despite the numbers that dictated their runs, I gave up on my grey numbers and focused on getting their asses up if someone made a mistake. To support the healers as much as possible with mana shift and such. I started putting my experience of keeping the party alive to more use while I slowly tried to recover the confidence I had lost when starting the tier. Granted, they didn't care for the group as much as I did. No amount of hanging out after raid times or helping was enough for the few in charge to announce when we were done raiding after months of being together. They just stopped one day until their FC leader asked me if I was aware of the 'disbanding'.

Then it was time to switch gears, for the first time I thought my work had bore fruit when I was recruited into the FC leader's group instead, and all was well.... Until it wasn't, we kept having to replace members left and right, specially healers and tanks. Progress was slow, sometimes we’d clear Chaos and Midgarsormr, and others it would be a mess depending on the random team comp we had for the week. Things should have been better by the time we made it to Omega, half the party had cleared with their mains after all. Except that it was the point where everything went south in the background.

We had gained a good White Mage, who would complain about random jibber jabber every now and then, but that was fine, no biggie. Then they brought in their former co-healer from their previous static, a Scholar, and all was supposed to be fine. But then something happened that slowly started to wear us all out. For some reason, we suddenly were struggling some more with Midgarsormr, and then Omega.... Boy, even if we had previously cleared, suddenly the three days with 3 hours of raid time each went on on that goddamned turn, and then the final 15 min would go for Omega Male and Female and the reason was hard to tell at first, we were doing the same old after all. It wasn’t until nearly a month of wiping that probably the group had started to realize what was wrong. Our Scholar wasn’t exactly pulling his full weight.

This is what caused probably something that I should have seen coming and that stuck with me for a long while until now that I found this draft I worked on when the wound became fresh again from just thinking about it. It’s just frustrating, sad to a degree and I brought part of it on myself for trying so hard to be useful to no one. What happened? Well, the leader didn’t want to get involved into any drama by only kicking the Scholar because they were friends with the White Mage, so a disbanding was supposed to be the better way to end things. Except the leader decided to do it in a different and up to date still a very shitty fashion. 

Right after we’d finished the last raiding night for the week, he posted an announcement about how people, aka his FC members were tired of constantly bashing their heads against Omega with little success and so they were gonna reform. By kicking the only outsiders of the static team. The White Mage, the Scholar, and me. There was no further explanation, no messages to me, nothing. I was just tossed like that after +6 months of knowing this FC and having raided and hung out with a good chunk of their members. I’d sacrificed so much for them. My time, my confidence to a degree, I had been a slave to their parsers more than a few occasions each time I heard them celebrating or complaining about their numbers. All because I wanted to feel like I could stand on the same levels as them. And I did to a good degree. I reached a point where I knew that my abilities weren’t as bad as the greys on my numbers showed me. But it meant nothing to any of them in the end. No message from the leader that up to that point had kept communication with me for raid times and other stuff. No reaction from the peeps I’d raided the most with. 

The most ironic part that I still respect? The only person to apologize, the only one that actually took the time to send me a message after the whole group ‘disbanded’ was the dragoon that I had only ever heard speak about their golden parses and nothing else on discord. We hadn’t even talked up until then. But he still cared more than the people that had known me for longer in that group. Granted, I did get to throw at least a cent in the raid channel about what I thought before getting kicked, so he probably wanted to come out clean on that. 

I am glad to no avail that I will never have to see them again, because the server splits sent them to a different data center. But it still left a deep mark on me when it came to XIV. I stopped logging in to do any content for a while, focused more on screenshots, on shady flower lady times until I could learn to love the game again. It probably took longer than I would have liked because all of this happened at the exact time that my friends from my crew had dived into raiding at a deeper level. I got to see them celebrate clearing the final omega. Then server transferring to be with their static before the great split or quitting. And then with Shadowbringers hearing “We’re not looking for a dps caster slot.” Each time anyone needed a fill in for their group. 

All this left me at an odd spot, being the veteran that keeps up groups or dungeons on normal modes, but having a hard time trying to get back into my niches in the game. My way of getting through raid had been to think of myself as being replaceable or worthless, but still trying to keep my hope that I’m actually valuable. Getting through all of it alone is not the solution now that I can let go of that bitterness of not being appreciated even as a person. I just happened to get a random chance to try out filling in for a group for a friend. But it wasn’t that what helped me the most both to be back on raids and to have finally built back my confidence. They probably didn’t think that I would check, but I’m the curious kind. Specially when you join a discord that has brief mentions of you on the recent chat. And seeing them mention me, and then vouching over my skills as a player, and how I was their first friend in the server? Well, despite having trouble expressing any feelings myself most of the time, when I get to think of it, you have no idea how much it meant to me. 

I managed to get back on what I like and enjoy most of what I do after deciding to take another leap of faith and join this group despite my stigma. Granted, mentions of parses and all will always be there. But not letting them define you, and believing in what you can and can’t do in content, I think is the best choice you can make to have a healthy experience and enjoy yourself as much as possible. 

[oneshotsandheadcanons]

Secrets - Spencer Reid

Request; Nope, I’m just all in my feels.

Sunmary; Y/N has been keeping a huge secret from Spencer, and she can’t tell him, no matter how much she wants to. So, she disappears for a while, until she can tell him the truth, but how will Spencer react?

(GIF not mine)

I thought walking into the waiting room with JJ, to tell the team that Emily was dead, even though she wasn’t, was gonna be the worst thing.

But I was wrong, once the words ‘She never made it off the table’ left JJ’s lips, Spencer’s reaction was the worst.

He got up, trying to walk past me and JJ, but I stopped him.

“Spence.” I said softly.

“I never got to say goodbye.” His tone was quiet, and I pulled him into a hug.

Outside the opposite door we had come in, I saw Hotch and JJ watching me, the only other two people who knew.

Once Spencer released me, I headed out to them.

“Has she gone?” Hotch asked us. “Back to France?”

I nodded. “JJ has the passports and the money ready to go.”

——

The funeral hurt for everyone, it hurt most of the team, due to grief and loss. It hit me, due to the massive amounts of guilt I was feeling.

We didn’t know how long Emily would be in hiding, and I didn’t know how long I could look at the team like this.

———

Three months had gone by, and I couldn’t do it any longer. The team, they all saw Spencer’s strong side, the face he puts on at work.

But to me, almost every night, he breaks down in tears over Emily, and it killed me. I knew all I had to say was one sentence.

‘Emily’s alive’

That was all, two words. All his pain would go away, but I couldn’t. Believe me, I wanted to. I’d begged JJ and Hotch literally every single day to let me tell him, but they always refused. Today was gonna be no different.

I got into work, before Spencer, making my way to Hotch’s office, JJ already in there.

“The answer is still no, Y/N.” Hotch asked, before I opened my mouth. “The less people know the better.”

That was always the answer, and my reply was always the same.

“But, Hotch. You don’t see what he’s like at home. He’s so weak and vulnerable, he misses his one of his best friends so much, he feels guilty.” I told them. “If he figured out the Lauren Reynolds thing earlier, she’d still be alive. He blames himself.”

“Y/N, I know it’s hard.” JJ said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“No, neither of you do.” I said coldly, brushing her hand off me. “You don’t have to go home to Henry and Will breaking their hearts every night, racked with guilt. And Hotch, you don’t have to go home to Jack asking why he hadn’t figured it out, why was he so stupid?”

“Y/N, list.....”

“I’m not done.” I cut off. “We all know Spencer is not stupid, and I’m not allowing him to even think that at all.”

“Y/N, it would put him in danger if he knows.” Hotch said.

I sighed, knowing he was right.

“Fine, then I want transferring.”

“What?” JJ asked.

“I want a transfer that moves me away, until Prentiss can return.” I stated. “I can’t look at his pained face everyday, not being able to tell him something that can take it all away.”

“What if he takes it wrong when you get back?” Hotch asked me.

“He’s gonna hate me anyway, when he knows I knew about Prentiss.” I shrugged. “Strauss took JJ away once, make her do it to me, but it’s gotta seem like her idea.”

Strauss knew what was going on now, and helped me out straight away, no problem.

“You realise we don’t know how long Prentiss will be undercover.” She reminded me. “It could be days, months, or years. Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“If I can’t tell him, you have to remove me from him.” I nodded. “Because I can’t look at his broken face much longer, before I crack.”

Because, we were still in Hotch’s office, it looked like we were having a meeting when the team arrived, and I knew they’d all be watching through the window.

“You leave tonight.” Strauss nodded. “You’ll be placed in DC, the others will be told they cannot know where you are, because of being undercover. None of them, except us three, will contact you.”

“Thank you.” I smiled. “And Hotch, I’ll be back as soon as Emily is.”

“Hopefully, it’s soon.” He said. “Ready to tell the team?”

I nodded, walking out, nervous. Garcia knew straight away, her face dropping.

“We just got JJ back. We can’t lose you now.”

Spencer looked at Garcia, and me.

“Wh....what?”

“Strauss needs me undercover indefinitely.” I told them. “I leave tonight.”

“So....so we won’t be able to talk to you?” Spencer’s face dropped again.

I shook my head. “I’m sorry Spence, but they need me.”

When it was time for me to go, I pulled Spencer to the side.

“Listen, I love you so so much, but I don’t know how long I’ll be away for.” I said. “And I don’t want you to wait for me Spence, if you find someone that makes you happy, take the chance.

He was gonna hate me either way when I got back, maybe he’d hate me less if he wasn’t in love with me anymore.

“I don’t want anyone else Y/N.” He whispered. “Just you.”

“Just be happy Spence, okay?”

He nodded, giving me one last kiss before I left for who knows how long.

———-

Four and a half hellish months passed since I’d been stuck here, all I wanted was to be with Spencer, talk to him.

But I couldn’t, through my choice, and I regretted it. I was looking at pictures of Spencer. Ones I had before, ones JJ had sent me.

He seemed happier again, himself and I was glad. No one ever told me if he spoke to other girls, but I never asked either.

But all that happiness was about to come crashing down, when JJ called me.

“Prentiss is coming back, we need you home.”

I was both excited and nervous. “He’s gonna hate me, JJ.” I sighed.

“He won’t hate you.” She tried to assure me. “But I do need you to come in with Prentiss.”

Well, now he’s gonna hate me even more, great.

———-

Back in the FBI building, in the BAU, I was heading to the conference room, Prentiss hidden behind me.

I had just got there, and leaned against the door frame, as Rossi spoke.

“We’ve brought someone back, with expertise on this particular case.”

“Who?” Morgan asked.

“Hey guys.” I said with a small smile, everyone turning.

“Y/N!” Spencer exclaimed, starting to get up.

“Just, uh, wait there a minute, Spence.” I told him, making him confused. “I’m not the only person back.”

They all looked at me confused. I sighed, as I stepped to the side, revealing Emily.

“She’s alive.”

“But we buried her.”

“I take full responsibility for this.” Hotch said. “Any problems, come to me.”

“Yeah, I got problems.” Derek said.

I couldn’t even look at Spencer, but Derek look confused, angry. Garcia looked hurt, and Rossi. I could never read him.

Emily didn’t really give them a chance to take it in, getting straight into the case.

Once we were done, I left the briefing room quick, getting all the way to the elevators before Derek caught me.”

“Y/N.”

“I’m sorry Morgan, I am, but I couldn’t tell you.”

“Is this why you left?”

I nodded slowly. “Every day for three months, I saw Spencer question himself, blame himself, break down in front of me, and I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell all of you. I saw Garcia looking at her picture more than once, and I know you missed her.” I told him. “I begged and begged JJ and Hotch every day to at least let me tell Spencer, but they wouldn’t. And knowing I had the words that could fix Spencer, make him happy, but I couldn’t use them, killed me. And I just couldn’t do it.”

“I get it Y/N, I do.” He nodded at me. “But you need to tell him that.”

“He’s gonna hate me Derek.” I sighed sadly. “I know it. But I’ll talk to him, I gotta explain to Garcia.”

“I heard, and I get it. Go sort it out with Boy Genius, okay?”

I gave Garcia a hug, before getting on the jet with the others. Spencer ignoring me, leaving me alone. I knew it, I knew this would happen.

He sat next to Morgan, Emily sat with me

“He hates me, Em.” I sighed, eyes watering. “I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t. And now he hates me.”

And that’s how the jet ride remained. Rossi spoke to me on the jet, forgiving me. Spencer never did, the one person I didn’t want to hurt, I ended up hurting the most.

Holy, I think this is the most I’ve wrote ever tbh. I may (probably) do a part where you’ll see what happens with Spencer, and if he forgives her or not

Tag List;

@irish-newzealand-idian-dutch