#>>0010{ i was just bored }beth.hc

[dvrklyte]

For my portrayal of Beth, there is one major detail that I am changing from canon and the TL;DR is simple. Dean died when he was shot by Rio.

The scene replays in her mind every single night. She’s standing in the dining room, holding the gun, pointing it directly at the one who truly deserved it. The one who ruined their lives when he appeared. It was all his fault, she tries to tell herself. He deserved to be punished for everything. For all the pain and hardship she had to endure. For every time that same gun was pushed into her face. It should feel good, justified. It should feel right. 

But, the dream always ends and she knows the truth. He might have been the virus she brought into her own home, but she knew the truth was that it was all her own fault. She couldn’t pull the trigger when it counted, and it cost Dean his life. He could only sit there as his murderer barely turned towards him to shoot. Beth could still see that look in his eyes, how little he cared as he pulled that trigger.  

At what point did it become numb? Second nature? That she expected the dream every night to the point where even Rio doesn’t scare her anymore?

There were so many questions left unanswered, so many things she needed to know from Dean about why he did what he did. And if they had even been on their way to a better place like she was beginning to believe. But, they would stay that way. Nothing came from asking questions with no answers. 

The lie was easy enough to tell. Dean was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was accepted well enough, but the issues came after. Learning how to live with it and the lie. Living with the guilt that she killed her own husband. The guilt turned to hate quickly, pointed right at the man who deserved it. They needed a way to truly be rid of him for good, no matter what it took. 

In the time after Dean’s death, the adjustment period was tough. She had help, of course, from those around her, but things still weren’t the same. Beth knew she needed more money to support her four kids. and the only way she knew how was to depend on that same man she despised. She turned to him to learn, to work for him once more and learn to be like he wanted her to be. To be a king, a boss, to take over from him if the moment called for it again. She didn’t know just how much she wanted it until she was already in deep once more. Then it just all came down to outsmarting and overcoming. 

She’s determined to stay on top, to take Rio out and be the big boss. Or... Put him in his place like he tried so often with her. The question would just remain in the methods. 

She continues to work for the gang towards her own leadership and future. Building her own kingdom. 

[dvrklyte]

Muse to be added:

Beth Boland - Good Girls

Adding Beth under the condition that she is canon divergent in certain aspects. Specifics will be added when the time comes!