#[ it's more interesting for it to linger ]
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WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY!!!!
#god i hope this feeling holds when the sun rises tomorrow. at least i have a little charming prism that fractures it for me#it hangs off the vent in my living room (where i get the sun rising across treetops and below: an industrial landscape that#for some reason. has become very dear to me)#it has it's own shine in the morning#and there's a lot of gruff men that light up when i walk naniu and we both say hello#one of the companies (and this is soooooooo. you know what i can't even say it bc too revealing but. there's an inside joke here) and#i had a laugh about it with some of them a time ago and it made us ??? idk we always say hi and more but with that lilt of 'please linger'#and it has made this whole ordeal so much easier#wow i really am a spout unstoppable after the anon thing aren't i. but truly who gives a shit. here i am#you can't do worse than what i was in a few months ago lmao. (please don't try it)#precautionary 'i WILL delete this' if it feels funny a couple minutes from now#anywaythis industry is shoulder to shoulder with a forest landscape where i let nana loose each morning to stretch her bil ol toothpick legs#and we always come across the other dogowners and we all have that same weight to us. it is so comforting to say g'mornin to someone just as#bleak and newly awoken as yourself#and sometimes we talk. theres this cane corso couple that i adore more than life#we have similar interests. god ill just leave it at that i guess. what am I YAPPING SO MUCH FOR WHAT HAVE YOU DONE#yeah im deleting this. am I? who cares (oh my god I do. I DO)#AAAAAAAH (tailcoats on fire)
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đ¸ď¸Kirbtober 2024 Day 2: Revenge đ¸ď¸
(ID: Kirby series fanart of Dark Meta Knight and Taranza, the latter looming behind the former with violent intent in his four front-facing eyes, his six hands clenched into shaking fists and curled into claws and raised over his head to conjure a pair of glowing spiderwebs. Meanwhile, the knight stands in blissful ignorance in the foreground, a mug of steaming coffee in one hand, a rolled-up newspaper in the other, glancing off in confusion as a thought bubble over his head reads, âWhy do I hear boss music?â END ID.)
Based on the implication from KTDâs Dededetour! that DMK might be responsible for Sectoniaâs corruption, indirectly or otherwise.
Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)
Started on 08/30/24, finished on 08/31/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp
#veins art#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#dark meta knight#taranza#kirbtober#kirbtober 2024#day 2#revenge#paintpanic#triple deluxe spoilers#<- (kinda?)#images seen seconds before disaster#you corrupt a guyâs love interest ONE time and he holds it against you forever smh#(for the record⌠I think the situation is more *complicated* than whatever knee-jerk assumptions Taranza might make in his grief)#(and that the fault lies with both DMK *and* Taranza to some extentâŚ)#(as well as whatever issues Joronia herself mightâve had that the corruption simply exacerbated)#(heck you could even make the argument for Dark Mind being the root cause! his influence on the Mirror lingering even after his demise)#(like I said... complicated. and narratively compelling!)#(we love a little bit of speculation wiggle room in this house)#veinsfullofstars
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Kid builds an enormous flying spiked skull mech and roars the words "PUNK ROTTEN!!" like a maniac right before we cut to Law who slowly adds one extra hand flourish to his usual quiet "ruuum" and it's just lovely. Perfect even.
#I mean. Law has a huge range of really sick moves but he'll always have to start with Room#so in this power-move-announcement lineup they had to give him something more visually interesting to spice up his usual opening#to match Luffy and Kid being absolutely huge and loud and insane as usual#and it's just really cute#it wouldn't be as funny if it wasn't for the many many times Law throws huge operating bubbles up instantly with no flourish at all#he doesn't need to do that wrist flick thing but he did it anyway <3#they added a lingering hand and chest tattoo shot too which I think boosted his power levels significantly actually#don't laugh#he's serious#trafalgar law live reaction#one piece
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the relationship between the chantry and the mortalitasi in nevarra is SO fucking funny. the carefully politic and civil syncretism of it all. the âIâll refrain from scratching your back to bloody shreds if you refrain from scratching mine :)â. left hand politely averting its eyes from whatever the fuck the right hand is doing merrily up to its elbow in entrails because it usually knows what itâs doing I guess. speak softly, and have an army of the restless dead ready to go banapants horrorshow bonkers if you donât get to tend to them. We Receive: being able to keep doing our goth thing mostly unimpeded. You receive: us not raising the great majority to protest your unwelcome meddling. render unto the chantry what is the chantry's and unto the watchers what is theirs (or, with all possible courtesy you understand, elseâŚ)
#dragon age#nevarra#mortalitasi#a watcher's work is never done#The maker may take the souls but someone still has to care for the graves#the necropolis is such a trump card for the nevarran mages when you think about it -- try to annul the mortalitasi?#soon you'll have some VERY unpleasant things starting to come up from underground and no one who knows how to deal with it#that place has grown and been built upon itself for like a thousand years at this point hope you're good with surprises with no guide#it's not grey wardens in a blight levels of immunity granted but it's up there. thedas realpolitik hits different idk what to tell you#the idea that the âhigher deadâ are the original souls lingering after death must be getting spicily close to heresy right#even more so than the mortalitasi usually get I mean#Poor Cassandra. Imagine being born a jock among goth nerds no wonder the religion got to her#if her parents had lived she could have been a hotheated dashing noble getting in righteous duels but instead. her uncle. alas.#I jest but I really am so interested in seeing more of nevarra to understand even more of where she's coming from originally#I'm visiting my wife's folks for the first time I'm really excited :) (I do think my adaar would find it fascinating actually so. sry cass)
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My absolute favorite thing about your blog, even more favorite that Vachete, is the care and interest you put into each response. Be it an ask or an art piece, you always eloquently break down each individual aspect and comment on them. It always makes me smile.
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#aw geez#thank you! that's such a sweet thing to say!#these are things I like to talk about so it's not like people have to try very hard to get me to ramble about stuff I hold dear#tumblr as a whole seems to have an atmosphere that encourages being open about passions special interests and one's creative projects#it's terribly flattering that folks are interested in engaging with what I make to begin with I don't take that for granted#and having your original characters depicted by other artists is a huge deal#it takes time and effort and thought to create anything especially if it's for someone else#I try my best to let them know that I've stopped to look at and think about their work in a way it deserves#and I like art and I like talking about and analyzing it and if someone made it for me and it features my brain goobers I like it even more#plus I know receiving comments is rewarding so I try to write ones that take longer than a few seconds to read#every time I get thoughtful feedback the good feeling lingers for ages and I'd imagine most people feel the same way#answered#hylorien
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Never been able to see the parallels between Usopp leaving the crew and Sanji leaving. I suppose they both fight Luffy but the reason and context is completely different. As far as I recall, Usopp is the only one who ever leaves by questioning Luffy's authority and saying he had been thinking about it for awhile e.g. that he couldn't keep up with the others (Luffy).
Yes I know there's more complexity to it than that, but he is explicit about the fact that he wants to leave. In comparison, when Robin leaves its "I have a darkness chasing me you can't understand so we must part ways"; with Nami its "we spent time together but it was never for the long haul"; with Sanji its first "gotta go deal with something, don't worry" and then its "you're beneath me, I'm a prince". In none of those statements do any of them expressively say "I want to leave and I will fight you over this issue that you are making a bad decision over"*
There's variety over how to understand what they each mean (with Robin it's figuring out where she stands; with Nami its just sticking around; with Sanji its forcing him to admit how he really feels). None of which would have worked with Usopp -- it seemed clear as to where he stood, sticking around for him was counter to what he was saying, and if Luffy had pressured Usopp to say how he really felt (if what he was saying wasn't what he meant) then Luffy would have dismissed Usopp's conviction to challenge him in a fight.
I could maybe see an argument that the situation with Usopp gave Luffy more insight when Sanji left, but on the other hand, it has more in common with Robin and Nami than Usopp -- someone vanishes without explanation and tries to drive the others away. That's not at all how Usopp left.
*which Luffy is ultimately right about
#one piece#usopp#monkey d. luffy#sanji#nami#nico robin#narrative parallels#one piece musings#brought to you by nothing but an old idea that lingers in my mind#this also got a longer than i intended and it's not even that long#my brain is actually more interested in one piece and economics right now#but this just sits with me sometimes#my intention was to do a more in depth comparison of the four situations with literary analysis of the scenes#wsd opinion piece
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veilguard really feels like its missing a guy thats weird about faith. faith (or the absence of) as a central talking point between the companions in general tbh
#there should be an adrastien weirdo tearing their hair over these plot revelations#and like. MAN. dalish grief and anger in general beyond that one really good codex#like. I appreciate the beat with harding and possibly rook grieving their understanding of the maker and andraste being shattered#but like. its just a beat y'know.#bellara's brother dies a second time and she no longer has any certainty of where he will go#even as the old words can feel heavy on her tongue.#veilguard critical#tunes talks critical#<- kinda. idk. more than anything I'm just a little sad#it would be so interesting if more characters beyond MW Rook could debate and talk about Emmrich's borderline heretical belief that#the soul lingers#like oh my GOD where do souls go when they die becomes such a huge question now that we've got central religious tenants being shattered
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Imagine in your head a drawn line representing a spectrum and that line is labeled "sincerity". Hua Cheng and Shen Yuan are on opposite sides of that spectrum
#my text#svsss#tgcf#shen yuan#hua cheng#sy gets through life flying by the seat of his pants never comprehending his own desires n not really chasing anything just bc he wants it#meanwhile hc has known what he wants since forever and has doggedly chased after it ever since#knowing himself in his whole entirety#thank god binghe is also in touch with his desires (even if it doesnt always manifest sincerely) or else sy would never have a happy ending#that also kinda conjures an interesting diff between hc and lbh#bingy does resort to manipulation if he feels his relationship to sqq is threatened#but hc is more selfless towards xl and would accept most any genuine separate if thats what xl wanted#binghe cant survive without sqq but he also cant die bc of the narrative's need of him so he claws to have him in this life#meanwhile hc has face down true deaths and only lingers FOR xl and would be content disappearing if xl truly wanted that#as he wouldnt want to live in a world like that#binghe's golden protagonist aura clashes interestingly with fafa's child soldier cannon fodder turned villain-by-reputation too...#even if they are also quite similar in other ways
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feyn isn't showing much of his deterioration re: the blight. there's no real physical changes, aside from his fingertips starting to get a little darker.
the real problem is that he can hear the song in the background--ignoreable, but clearly there--before datv. the second the sixth blight started, he can hear the blight's song and ends up humming it under his breath at times, or if he stops for too long, stares off into space just caught up in it.
#blightoath / headcanon.#blightoath#[ i need to figure out what i want to do with the end of datv ]#[ on the one hand: i find wiping out all the blight at the end a cheap ending ]#[ it's more interesting for it to linger ]#[ on the other: i want to keep playing with my favorite blorbo ]
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Yes Hello to all my fellow Miss Lemon fans out there:
If you love her as much as I do, then 6.2 Hickory Dickory Dock is the episode for you
Now let us all just take a moment out of our busy day to bask in her glory:
That coat with those hats?? ICONIC she has such a flawless style
and this little scene where she's like 'this is just a quirk of Mr. Poirot's, don't worry about it' fellas help she's so cute
also HELP lads she took Poirot's comment about Inspector Japp's 'healthy appetite' way too literally!! LEMON SOLE! she's so funny aagh
Also she looks really damn good in burgundy wow
Also you know I hate the trope where guys tell ladies to take their glasses off and let their hair flow in the wind because they'd somehow be 'sexier' or whatever. That is just simply not true. Case in point: Look at how cute Miss Lemon is in her glasses!!
Just. Everyone just. Look at my favourite girl. Look at her!!! Her filing system is perfect! Her filing system could kick your ass!!!
#Okay. don't kill me. but I'm gonna say it.#She has red/auburn hair. Which we all know is a weakness of Hastings'.#so like. Why didn't the showrunners kinda push them together more?#like in the books Miss Lemon was supposed to be 'impossibly ugly' or whatever the quote was#but show!Felicity is cute and adorable and beautiful and lovely and flawless and okay sorry I'll stop. but anyway. My point is#they get this absolute gorgeous cutie to play Miss Lemon and made her sorta exactly Hastings' type and then they don't do anything with it?#No implications like we get with him and Poirot? No touching or preening or lingering glances or smiles?#Sure in the Adventure of the Italian Nobleman Hastings legit punches a guy in the face for her#but she's not there to see it!#and we sorta get a whumpy scene in Double Clue where she's tending to his wounds with iodine so they could have played that up#esp. if they were really trying to no homo everything.#but they didn't. like. he barely looks at her in that scene.#And maybe they were just trying to stay truer to the source material but like. They still could have *implied* a great deal#and they didn't. IDK it was just. an interesting choice is all#they certainly imply a lot of things about him and Poirot (for which I owe them my life LOL) so it probably would have been super easy to d#maybe they were afraid of pissing off the fans? idk#or maybe those Hastings/Poirot implications were a simple result of the exceptional acting chemistry b/w David Suchet and Hugh Fraser#which of course fits into the canon of Poirot having the absolute biggest soft spot for Captain Arthur Hastings that is humanly possible#ANYWAY I LOVE YOU MISS LEMON YOU ARE MY QUEEN#and like okay I guess I can see how Pauline Moran isn't '''''''conventionally attractive''''''' or anything#but given the right storyline I could see Hastings being down bad for her version of Felicity Lemon#but maybe that's just because *I'm* down bad for her LOL#Poirot series#Poirot#Felicity Lemon#Miss Lemon#back on my screencapping bullshit#also if you made it through all of these tags bless u what a trooper you are thanks for listening to my ramblings
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"when will i look in the mirror and feel relief?"
the cycle of fear and painâ the unanswerable questionâ the cornucopia of nonexistenceâ the banquet of repletionâ the blessed palace of eternal beingâ the hope of sweet nirvana
the endless secret of the wayâ sequenced aesthetic blossomsâ bubbles of form and lifeâ detestable and indefensibleâ perfect and full of loveâ yes? no? maybe?
the sword of wisdomâ the churning seaâ (synonyms of reality) and i am left to feebly describe its contours knowing one might misunderstand (a consequence of the medium) but nonetheless the world isâ
#this used to be a longer piece from mid-late february 2024#but sometimes i have a bad habit of speaking less like a poet and more like a philosopher who wants to sound beautiful#so i've severed the first stanza from the world and taken its best line to title the poem. which i think makes it a lot stronger#this is about transfemininity. don't get it twisted#âthe sword of wisdomâ is a buddhist parable i adore. ask me about it if you're interested i think it's hilarious. pairs with ânirvanaâ abov#i really adore the ending. i think i'm good at terminating poems (and stories) and leaving behind lingering sentiments#words are a sorcery to play around with. i bestow them unto you in hopes that they will be enjoyed and found meaningful
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but daddy i love him is so stancy coded i might lose my mind

#though i think that the sarah's and the hannah's and the antagonistic/vague town is better understood as nancy overthinking things#and believing that jonathan was the logical choice given some of their shared interests#versus the more... idk EVIDENT chemistry w steve from s4#and recognizing especially after the events of s4 how much steve has changed and realizing that she made a mistake#and despite what she thinks is right (going beyond her mothers life) there isn't anything wrong with having feelings for steve#idk i just love stancy and st4 actually killed me#i don't think that being with steve would compromise that because there are clearly lingering feelings#and it seems like steve and nancy are more... how do i put it#of like minds now#stranger things#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#stancy#taylor swift
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I was multitasking so I missed a lot from the Daggerheart Q&A but truly Matt is always just like. I gotta make this setting more goth.
#matt you want to dm another candela series so bad#in retrospect the lingering soul class is like. interesting concept but you should probably just make your own game where this is A Thing#phantom rogue and hollow one both achieve the vibe more cleanly#but sir you just want to do Goth TTRPG Design huh
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#jane journals#self insert talk#sorta!!#đŞ kepler quinn đŞ#since i got my new tablet with much more memory guess whos decided to start over againnnnn?#i started thumbnailing some frames of it#i rly rly need to watch a tutorial of csp animation so i can maybe make it a PROPER animatic#but ill be lucky to even just draw that many panels ajfjfgk#HOWEVER. IM DETERMINED TO DO IT#one day đ
one day soon!!#it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to be done it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to be done#im sorta getting stuck on one of the friggin first lines and what to have visually to make it a little more interesting#the issue is its kind of a slow song so i worry about lingering on frames too long and it being boring#ill figure it out eventuallyyyyyyy#just smth im thinkin about for reasons you will see
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s3 episode 17 "pusher" thoughts
this episode took a few days to work... and it built up the suspense! i tried to watch it on thursday- i was ready for my scullynmulder time- but it wouldn't play. and then i finally had time to try again yesterday, and it STILL wouldn't work.
(i had to go on reddit and learned that i needed to change a single number in a random string of code, because apparently a new firefox update just killed any ability to use hulu? the hoops i jump through for these two...)
but, i really enjoyed this episode! it had cute lil moments and then also some soul-crushing angst, which is the way i like it. so allow me to begin, and all of my note taking shall begin below!
YAYYYYY itâs scullynmulder time⌠my heart is so happy
so we open in a grocery store in virginia. itâs a nice looking grocery store. would browse there.
a guy is buying like a billion cans of stuff that has a muscle on it. and then a magazine with the freaky worm baby from s2 on it! haha a nice callback! again. shoutout to the props team <3
but then, the scene of tranquil grocery shopping was interrupted, as the guy with all the cans grabs the jacket of the guy in front of him- and it turns out the whole thing was a sting operation!!! guy who wanted his cans is referred to as âpusherâ. the FBI has a TON of guys dealing with him. 5 cars full. wow! he must be very scary.
heâs in the back of the last car. and going on about this officerâs uniform color.Â
he keeps saying cerulean over and over until somehow the guy driving the car stops seeing the big tractor trailer coming his way. and so when he drives straight ahead, he is immediately hit!!! is this some sort of hypnosis?
the intro was different again!! who do they think they are fooling by changing this?? not me!
mulder's office time. side note: it really is THEIR office as a collective. because we never see her at her desk. but anyway.
the police carâs driver died after hitting the tractor trailer that was magically invisible to him, but not before he unlocked the prisoner, pusher. pusher had confessed to contracted killings over two years that had been staged to look not like murders, if you catch my drift.
why would this otherwise great agent unlock this prisoner and also drive straight into a tractor trailer? a great question! one we can hopefully answer.
pusher had kept mumbling about cerulean until the driver ran into a truck for a business called cerulean. then he had written a clue at the scene of the crime! it says ânin orâ which mulder flips backwards to read⌠ronin. ronin! i know that word!
mulder points out that this means a samurai without a master (nerd), and that this is the name of a⌠self defense magazine? so off to go read some magazines!
a young woman who we later learned is named holly brings them a big stack of the aforementioned magazines- maybe she's an archivist! maybe that should be my job!
she has a giant bruise on her face from getting mugged. mulder asks if they got whoever did this to her, and she says âdo they ever? âŚ.no offenseâ awww, holly, you're gonna make him sad. but seriously, poor girl, that is awful :(
she heads out, and scully is like, how did pusher do all of these killings? mulder says that he was probably utilizing the power of suggestionÂ
so they find an advertisement for someone âwho solves problemsâ in all of the ronin magazines since 1994- which was when the murders started! a clue! with a phone number to go with it!
and in the ad were the letters OSU, which they thought meant ohio state but no! itâs a japanese word that means âto pushâ! gasp! it's definitely their guy!
(there was very conveniently a japanese to english dictionary on the shelf of the room where they were reading the magazines. i guess it's important to keep your language learning tools around in the FBI, but it was funny because all the other books looked like boring legal stuff)
they call the number, and it goes to a phone in virginia. mulder is in a car nearby and scully is there too, but she is sleeping. ON HIS SHOULDER!!!!
he lightly taps her face to wake her up and says âi think you drooled on meâ and she quickly apologizes... NOOO DONâT BE MEAN TO HER!!! SHEâS SLEEPY đđđ awwwwww oh my HEART <3
(i need to scream real quick, because that was so precious. AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhHHHH)
((nah i'm never gonna move on from this actually. never never. the way he tapped her face.......... how she seemed so embarrassed.... the intimacy of falling asleep on someone's shoulder, how long he must have sat there trying not to make any sudden movements while still keeping his attention on the case........... i need to collect myself))
but then the phone rings back!!! they sprint sprint sprint and they pick it up⌠to someone asking if they are just going to sit there all night!!!! the pusher!!!
oh heâs creepy⌠he comments on how mulder âand his pretty partner seem awfully closeâ. now, is he invested in whatever the hell it is they have going on like i am (which is valid), or is he just a creep (less valid)?Â
pusher seems to be a freak at least in some regards, saying that "they have to follow his breadcrumbs", and that the next one is right in front of mulder, who he keeps calling âg manâ. he also says to let his fingers do the walking, which makes slim to no sense to me.Â
but they figure that it means to call the last number on the pay phone, and it reaches a golf course! they hold the phone up so they both can hear the message and itâs so CUTE AWWW
mulder calls her âg-womanâ as they leave <- STOP IâM GONNA SCREAM!!!
off to the golf course. where pusher is golfing with a very beat up face from the accident. he spots snipers hiding in the grass, mumbles that it is âabout timeâ, and tries to get out.Â
they have him cornered!!! but when he tells the dude with the gun on him to relax, he really does. and when pusher tells him to show him his face, he does. he knows the guy by name?!?
pusher tells this collins fellow to pour a ton of gasoline, which he does while crying. collins screams at the agents to stop him as he flicks on a lighter, but scully is fast and grabs a fire extinguisher, and mulder uses his jacket to induce a sort of stop drop and roll maneuver. huh, they really do work so well together!
a car horn is blaring, so mulder goes to see what is going on and itâs⌠a dude with his head on the horn. he says âbet you five bucks i get offâ⌠itâs pusher! he was mumbling as if he was remotely controlling the dude who lit the flame... okay, weird.
mulder at da court. he is fidgeting as they question him about this pusher fellow and his 14 murders. mulder explains that he thinks pusher can talk his way into his victims hurting themselves, which is by far not the most outlandish thing weâve heard on this television program, but the people in the court act like this is akin to spotting a unicorn, and scoff at mulder for proposing such a bizarre idea.
(usually i agree that mulder's ideas are bizarre, but this one seems entirely possible to me, with or without mind control. people can be talked into doing all sorts of things. mulder i am on your side and would not laugh at you like these fakes)
AND pusher had called and confessed to 14 murders, but his defense tries to write it off as a drunk prank call. while this is the most absurd thing we (both the viewer and the characters in court) have ever heard, and surely no one would ever believe it, pusher uses his mind power skills to get into the judgeâs brain and make him be declared innocent.
pusher walks up to mulder and says he owes him five dollars. this dude majorly sucks.
cutscene to mulder practicing his aim. itâs pretty good!! he must be really unsettled by this whole situation to work on his marksmanship.
scully comes in (with the ear protection things on so mulder's firing doesn't blast her ears <3 queen of precautions) with more information on this pusher fellow. mulder starts reciting all the things he can guess about the pusherâs life, from his college to his military service to which branch and i'm thinking man, did he study up on this? is he that unsettled by this case? but ohhh yeah, mulder does profiling, seemingly very successfully.
but he didnât know that the pusher applied to the FBI!!! and had flopped at the psych evaluation, where he had been ego-centric and lied and claimed to be trained by ninjas. mulder seems to think this could be true, but i donât know if he knows the ninja lore and that they were not as historically common as media would make you think đ
luckily, scully doesn't break this terrible news to him. man, this reminds me i need to get a good translation of the kojiki and the nihon shoki
(at this point i did a bit of a wikipedia rabbit hole into japanese medieval literature before remembering the plot at hand. focus!)
mulder says that they should have had enough evidence to at least get him in custody, and that the pusher âput the whammyâ on the judge. to which scully deadpans âplease explain to me the scientific nature of the whammyâ <- HDHEJSNWJSKDMND i love her sooooo terribly.Â
mulder is still thinking this guy was a ninja, but scully points out that if he could control peopleâs minds, why wouldnât he be an FBI agent like he wanted? a very good point! well, maybe itâs a new skill, mulder posits.
he seems very frustrated that scully isnât buying his mind control theory, but she makes it very clear she believes he is guilty of murder!!! they just need to figure out what went down. queen of communicating her logic. she wonât communicate her feelings though, but that's okay we can work on that in the future.
pusher at da FBI. writes himself a note that says âpassâ and sticks it in his lapel, goes in and asks for computer records. the guard immediately gives it to him. and he waltzes in!Â
no!! the poor girl with the bruised face from before, holly!!! he starts talking to her, and she gives him the keyboard to her super secret FBI computer. he asks for printouts and says he wants to hurt whoever did that to her face. hmm. well, maybe a little revenge on her behalf wouldnât hurt...
but skinner is here! he heard an unfamiliar voice and walks in, asking if he can help this strange fellow. skinner realizes that he is up to no good, and grabs him, but the pusher convinces holly that skinner is the guy who mugged her!!! so she busts out her mace the minute that skinner manages to call for security and starts KICKING HIM??
things escalated very quickly there.
holly is in his office, apologizing profusely to skinner and whole bunch of other people for kicking the hell out of his face. scully is there too. okayyyyy, sheâs moving up in the world, helping out when skinner gets attacked!!!! she is very calm about the whole thing though, which makes her a great choice, so she deserves it.
holly says that it was like the pusher was in her head, and she was watching herself do the things she did. creepy...
sheâs crying, and skinner doesnât honestly seem too mad about the whole thing. i would be very mad if one of my employees let a random guy have access to secret files and then pepper sprayed and kicked me, but clearly he understands something was afoot.
OH! scully agrees that it is the pusherâs persuasive powers that made holly attack him, even if she canât explain why it is he can do that! wow! the evidence is undeniable, even if it is inexplicable!
the pusher left with mulderâs file⌠so now he knows where he lives. so they should have a sleepover at her place!!! and watch movies!!! <3 before they catch him ofc, because now that he was trespassing, they have him on hook for a crime
(sadly, i must report that no sleepover took place. but it would be nice to imagine that it did)
they go to the pusher's apartment to try and find him, and scully announces before she turns the lights on. okayyyy! giving everyone a warning.
something about her with a trench coat and a gun in investigation mode makes my stomach do flips. we don't have to unpack that right now. i just was very aware that it happened.
he left a movie on the tv, that scully immediately identified as svengali. hold on let me google something. okay, that is a book/movie about guy that uses mind control. fitting. a clue, perhapsâŚ
and is she watching horror films on the regular to be able to identify the film after seeing like three framesâŚ.? love that for her <3
(wait, she did say before that the exorcist was one of her favorite movies! so this further proves that she is going to be seated for a spooky film <3)
mulder opens his fridge to find a million and a half of those protein cans from before. you think those are giving him psychic powers? hmmâŚ
oh!!! scully found something in his cabinet: epilepsy medication!!! a clue, perhaps? iâm just gonna keep saying that about anything they find. so that means they know more about him, and that he will need medication, which could be a way to try and find him, because heâll need to get more at some point probably⌠AND HE STARTED TAKING THE PILLS AT THE SAME TIME THE MURDERS STARTED!
mulder asks what can cause epilepsy late in life. her answers: head injury, neurological disease, a tumorâŚ
mulder perks up because he thinks a tumor might give you psychic powers. which would be a bright side to an otherwise very dismal situation, iâm sure.Â
she says that if he had a brain tumor, he would not be well enough to do all of these shenanigans- a very valid point. mulder responds with: maybe he isnât well at all!! he was too tired to escape at the driving range, after all, and he had confessed to murders he had gotten away with⌠maybe he wants to go out in a blaze of glory!
huh. bold theory.
phone rings as this theory is proposed. and the pusher is in fact on the phone. he asks for mulder and scully, who are sitting next to each other on a bed with their heads close, listening in. itâs endearing.Â
anyway, the pusher is going on and on with the dude on the phone named frank, saying he looks super unhealthy, and i get that they are trying to trace the call, but they also should know by now to not listen to a damn thing he says because of the mind control. but again, he could be offering a clue, so someone has to listen. agh! such a conundrum.
mulder says to hang up the phone, right as the pusher talks frank into having some sort of medical condition where his blood thickens (gag. gag gag gag bleurghhhh). mulder and scully are trying to get him to hang up the phone but he wonât, he keeps listening so they can get a trace on the call!! and then frank is dead.
scullyâs trying to save his life, but mulder picks up the phone. the pusher says that he wants a real adversary, and heâs read up on mulder, who he deems worthy. okay just ignore scully at your own peril i guess...
scully realizes she canât save frank :( and mulder is mad because he killed this dude for nothing!! but he says no no, all these people die by themselves.Â
they trace him to near a hospital, where he must be getting regular treatment for his condition. they find his car outside. and heâs scheduled for an MRI.
mulder says he should go in by himself, so that no one else gets hurt. a bold choice...
he gets all suited up with a camera and some fancy equipment to go in, then he gives scully his gun, so he wonât shoot anyone even if the pusher uses his mind games on him. and then they hold hands for a second. and look into each otherâs eyes. and i will sob like a baby.Â
mulder is going into the hospital. scully is watching all of this from his fancy camera. the og live stream.Â
we hear two shots fired; the pusher made the guard shoot the technician and then himself. scully sees the monitor and asks mulder to get closer. and he does indeed have a tumorâŚ. and is dying, so he has nothing to lose. which makes him even scarier!
scully is begging him to get out of there. but he turns and scully sees from the camera the pusher holding him at gun point!!! she yells âgod!â and then runs into action. oh you know itâs serious when the catholic is yelling the name of the lord as an exclamationâŚ.
scully putting on a bullet proof vest to go in there and save himđłoh wow⌠i am learning so much about myself
she goes in, tells the SWAT team to wait for a signal. everything is very very very tense as she makes her way into the hospital. so slowly. she finally comes to the right door, and pushes it open.
mulder is seated with the pusher in the room of a patient, while the two stare at each other. theyâre both very sweaty, and pusher has a gun in his hand. the pusher is going on about martial arts and a fight to the death and stuff. he gives mulder the gun and says to pull the trigger, one pull with a one in six chance to kill him.
scully is suspicious because they are, again, in a hospital, which has pure oxygen, and who knows what could happen if he pulls the trigger? but despite her very logical warning, he does pull the trigger, right away, and nothing happens.Â
but the pusher talks mulder into putting the gun against his own head. she is begging him not to do it, to listen to her, to get out of there together, and everything will be okay.
and despite scullyâs best efforts, he DOES pull the trigger. no bullet this time, but she is FREAKING OUT that he did that. she yells, and that yell will probably haunt me forever, how furious and terrified she sounded to watch him do such a horrific thing.
and then he turns the gun on HER, sheâs crying, telling him to fight this. terrified she's about to die at his hands.
(oh my gosh, i really hope heâs faking the mind control working on him, so he can turn the gun on the pusher at the last minute)
the pusher mentions that SHE SHOT HIM, he read it in his files, âPAYBACK TIME, SHOOT THE LITTLE SPYâ <- OMFG???? this escalated SOSOSOSOSO fast????
he tells scully to RUN while he still has the gun pointed at her, but then once she gets out and pulls the fire alarm, mulder shoots him!!!!! he keeps clicking the gun over and over at him despite it being empty. and he looks so tired, handing the gun over to scully, holding his head in his hands.Â
man, he must have been horrified, to have someone in his mind, making him try to hurt himself and hurt scully, watching her scream at him after he put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger, watching her cry as the gun was pointed at her, fighting for access to his own mind... and after he had left his gun with her, just to make sure he wouldn't hurt anyone, he found himself in this situation...... how he kept firing even after the single bullet had been shot, just to ensure that no one else would be hurt..... woah. there is a lot to unpack here about the lack of agency and losing loved ones and mulder's deepest fears.... i will be gnawing on this in my head for a while...
so, the pusher is on a ventilation system, and mulder is watching. scully enters and says he will never regain consciousness. apparently, he had been refusing treatment, refused to have the tumor removed even though it was possible. mulder says that itâs like she had proposed, he was a little man, and this finally made him feel big.
they linger long enough for me to wonder if theyâre actually going to kiss, right in front of this comatose murderer, but she does something just as intimate: grabs his hand and says to not let this dude take up another minute of their time. we end with mulder taking one last look and leaving the room.
oh, this episode was GOOD. REALLY GOOD. the suspense was killer, the mind games were trippy, and these two. these two.
scully falling asleep on his shoulder? the fluff of an indulgent fanfic writer. but it REALLY HAPPENED. them holding their heads close multiple times to listen to the phone... the hand grab at the end. listening and trusting each other's wild theories.
this episode showed how well they work as a team, and it made me so happy. it felt in very sharp contrast to a few episodes before where they were not working together at all. and i get that was cosmic opposite day, but still, this episode and their dynamic felt so right.
and then at the end, the level of angst was unexpected. and honestly, they go through a LOT on this show, but scully seeing him held at gunpoint and then watching him pull the trigger on his own head made me lose my MIND. how she begged him to stop, pleaded and yelled, how she cried as he pointed the gun on her, him using every ounce of energy he had to try and resist mind control to keep her safe. and the minute she is away, he unloads the gun into the pusher, again and again and again despite knowing it was empty, just to be sure no other bullets could hurt anyone else. how exhausted he was when he sat down at the end, his head in his hands; how he watched him in his comatose state until scully told him they should leave.
(insert prolonged muffled screaming as a way to comprehend the feelings i am experiencing)
and a massive shoutout to skinner for showing up for 5 minutes, realizing there was a problem, addressing the problem, and not being too mad when the girl in the computer department beat his ass because he was sympathetic to her mind control quandary. really a solid fellow. skinner, you and i have had our disagreements in the past, but i have come to see you as a friend. now, do i trust him fully? no. but can he come to a birthday party? yeah <3
wow. just wow. a really great episode. definitely making it onto the best episodes list! i'm trying to make a mental list of all the ones that stick out as the most enjoyable, especially the ones that are single episodes rather than the larger two or three part ones, and this is a contender surely.
"please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy"... how could you not love her?
#very good episode and editing my notes to post them only made me more emotional than i already was which is impressive#sculllyyyyyyyyyyyyy#i just have to say if she fell asleep on my shoulder there would be no complaints from my end#sigh. so much to think about and unpack here.#very interesting exploration into mulder's fears without him ever outright saying he was terrified. but we could tell.#the shooting practice and the frustration at scully not believing him and the exhaustion at the end and long lingering glances#yeah he was frightened! didn't have to use his words but we could tell!#this one is gonna stick with me for a while i already know it!#also again no one tell him about ninjas being rare in terms of historical documentation... i can't bear to reveal this#juni's x files liveblog#3x17#the x files#txf
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i don't really understand it when people say they have like 5 hyperfixations at the same time. how is that possible
same for when people say something is a "mild hyperfixation" i feel like if it's "mild" it's not a hyperfixation it's just like, an interest of yours
#i am not intending to sound accusatory i'm just curious what the logic is here#as i would understand it being completely focused on one subject would mean there's not really room for multiple let alone 5#(number pulled randomly this is not a vague at anyone specific)#but i'm not an expert so i mean it more like question wise#i used to use the word hyperfixation for myself but now i don't really because i think i was misapplying it tbh#if i do have hyperfixations they are short bursts of like a week or so and then the interest just lingers for longer#plus i don't even really have interest in calling myself neurodivergent anymore LOL so im not gonna use ADHD terms#not jojo related#rambles
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