#[guests...stuff to do... getting sick xD ... oh boy...anyway.

[convxction]

When he thinks he finished a pile of work, more appears on his desk. When will he finish ... is he doomed to stay locked in his tent until he finishes all these paperwork? 

[getreadytosmash]

][Count Fuckula and Red][

@blind-mutant

Ship meme

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs - God I love em!! They just get better the more content I have of them!

How long will they last? - Probably forever tbh?? Both immortal and if they can get along enough, then I see Red and Rhys being together for quite a few years.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It takes a few months since Red still has some issues with his repressed biromantic-ness and also the fact that he's got trauma over losing the last person he loved.

How was their first kiss? - Hesitant and gentle, Rhys probably gave a few bites to tease and help settle Red but it was very wholesome surprisingly.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Red does since it would be a good part in him learning to move onwards and to take chances romantically.

Who is the best man/men? - All the Smasher boys!

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Jen and Betty

Who did the most planning? - Red did, to make sure it worked out as best as it can.

Who stressed the most? - Red again, but Rhys also panicked a fair amount since this was a whole "wedding to a man who can't die" and the fear of marriage itself.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Probably a villain that really wants to keep fighting Red,,,crying at Dracula fighting Rhys for a lifetime source of food aka Red XD

Sex:

Who is on top? - Red but later on, Rhys takes some turns.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Rhys is unless Red is feeling particularly energetic.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now - If Red has nothing else to put energy towards??? He's horny and REARING to go.

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head - Red,,,Likes Stuff but he's just a bit shy in getting there at first.

How long do they normally last? - Uhh about normal time??? Idk how long sex is done but they have long stamina so I guess it doesn't matter.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yeah, both spend a lot of time on each other.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. - Being a hulk and a vampire definitely comes in handy, let's just say that.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. - Rhys is a clingy boy and Red does like a fair amount of cuddling, especially when he's relaxed in private.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - None aha.

How many children will they adopt? - Probably none since Red already has Betty. Team Grandpa tho!!

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Red since he has experience and can see what he's doing.

Who is the stricter parent? - Red. Gotta love the 70-80s parenting aha.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Rhys since he worries more about personal safety.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Red does since he usually makes lunches anyway and Rhys doesn't really,,,need food.

Who is the more loved parent? - I think Rhys since he's easier to get along with and much more affectionate.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Red is as he sees them as important while Rhys just trusts his kid's word.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Both of them. They're such big saps and it's an important moment!

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Red is since he knows how it works better and has more experience with disciplinary officials.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Red does.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Technically Rhys? Since he can only drink blood mostly.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Red does, but Rhys likes to do it with him.

How often do they bake desserts? - Oh Red usually bakes something every week or they buy something from the cafe in town.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat!! Red needs more meat anyway and Rhys drinking blood falls under it too!

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Rhys since he loves being able to do stuff for Red after so long of not having someone like him and Red is often gone for missions so it's a nice surprise!

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Rhys is since he likes being in a town full of so many oddballs now.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Rhys is.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Red does, he cleans everything up before he goes to bed.

Who is really against chores? - Neither? Rhys would like to help out and pull his weight, especially since the base is quite big and needs a lot of work done.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Red does and he already does so for Devil.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Rhys to be bratty tbh.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Neither but I guess it depends on who's coming??

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Rhys does and everyone fights over it.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Rhys does, Red's got the Military Shower Time.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Red does, since Devil loves him lots and lots UwU

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - A lot! It's a team thing for every holiday and Rhys fully loves it and gets into it.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Red wants to make Rhys happy, wants to have another chance at doing better for a new partner, and Rhys most likely wants the same things, wants to make Red happy

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - RHYS. If Red EVER sleeps past noon, it's because he's had to stay up from missions or sick.

Who plays the most pranks? - Rhys does. Best Friends, him and Rick for a reason.