#{ Week three of long suffering at the Aether Foundation}

[aetherceuse]

" . . . "

Loud staring. That was an explosion sound.

She has GOT to figure out how to send those blondes home.

[coffeebased]

Would it be terrible if I kept doing this: popping onto WordPress once a year, for a week, just to chirp energetically about the things I’d done the previous year, before disappearing into the aether? Who would sanction me? Other than myself, of course, but I think that I have enough things to distract my conscience. My annually-updated reading blog hardly takes precedence over my other responsibilities and the reparations that have swallowed up my life.

  I know that I was due one more blog post in January 2019, about reading stats being compared across the years. How convenient it is that that is exactly what I shall be doing now, here in January 2020.

  My ideal posting schedule for 2020 will be as follows:

  2019 Books I have read and my 10 favourite ones (right now! Oh, happy day!)

2019 Reading Statistics (1/11)

Reading Statistics: 2013-2019 (1/18)

Goal-setting for 2020 (1/25)

  This was the system I tried to implement last year. Two out of three posts completed is still a failing mark. And goodness knows if I will manage to stick to that schedule this year, let alone what happens after those posts. That’s every Saturday for January settled. In previous years I used to do everything in one big post and that was great, like, very cathartic, but posts had gotten more and more unwieldy.

  This is such a heartening beginning to a blog post: complete abandonment to the four winds. No commitment! Just my own satisfaction. In 2020, forget overpromising, we are lackadaisically mentioning that we have some ideas that may or may not push through.

  I read 126 books in 2019! You can view the complete list: here. It’s the second least number of books I’ve read since I started documenting my reading habits in 2013. I’m not really surprised since I spent most of the year gathering data in the field or studying. More on that in succeeding blog posts.

  Previous year-end reading posts are here: 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 a b|.

  My Ten Favourite Books from Those I Read in 2019

    The Sparrow and Children of God by Mary Doria Russell

  In 2019, humanity finally finds proof of extraterrestrial life when a listening post in Puerto Rico picks up exquisite singing from a planet that will come to be known as Rakhat. While United Nations diplomats endlessly debate a possible first contact mission, the Society of Jesus quietly organizes an eight-person scientific expedition of its own. What the Jesuits find is a world so beyond comprehension that it will lead them to question what it means to be “human”.

Kid Gloves: Nine Months of Careful Chaos by Lucy Knisley

  If you work hard enough, if you want it enough, if you’re smart and talented and “good enough,” you can do anything.Except get pregnant.Her whole life, Lucy Knisley wanted to be a mother. But when it was finally the perfect time, conceiving turned out to be harder than anything she’d ever attempted. Fertility problems were followed by miscarriages, and her eventual successful pregnancy plagued by health issues, up to a dramatic, near-death experience during labor and delivery.This moving, hilarious, and surprisingly informative memoir not only follows Lucy’s personal transition into motherhood but also illustrates the history and science of reproductive health from all angles, including curious facts and inspiring (and notorious) figures in medicine and midwifery. Whether you’ve got kids, want them, or want nothing to do with them, there’s something in this graphic memoir to open your mind and heart.

    The Raven Tower by Anne Leckie

  For centuries, the kingdom of Iraden has been protected by the god known as the Raven. He watches over his territory from atop a tower in the powerful port of Vastai. His will is enacted through the Raven’s Lease, a human ruler chosen by the god himself. His magic is sustained via the blood sacrifice that every Lease must offer. And under the Raven’s watch, the city flourishes.

But the power of the Raven is weakening. A usurper has claimed the throne. The kingdom borders are tested by invaders who long for the prosperity that Vastai boasts. And they have made their own alliances with other gods.

It is into this unrest that the warrior Eolo–aide to Mawat, the true Lease–arrives. And in seeking to help Mawat reclaim his city, Eolo discovers that the Raven’s Tower holds a secret. Its foundations conceal a dark history that has been waiting to reveal itself…and to set in motion a chain of events that could destroy Iraden forever.

    Lent by Jo Walton

  Young Girolamo’s life is a series of miracles.

It’s a miracle that he can see demons, plain as day, and that he can cast them out with the force of his will. It’s a miracle that he’s friends with Pico della Mirandola, the Count of Concordia. It’s a miracle that when Girolamo visits the deathbed of Lorenzo “the Magnificent,” the dying Medici is wreathed in celestial light, a surprise to everyone, Lorenzo included. It’s a miracle that when Charles VIII of France invades northern Italy, Girolamo meets him in the field, and convinces him to not only spare Florence but also protect it. It’s a miracle than whenever Girolamo preaches, crowds swoon. It’s a miracle that, despite the Pope’s determination to bring young Girolamo to heel, he’s still on the loose… and, now, running Florence in all but name.

That’s only the beginning. Because Girolamo Savanarola is not who—or what—he thinks he is. He will discover the truth about himself at the most startling possible time. And this will be only the beginning of his many lives.

    A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine

  Ambassador Mahit Dzmare arrives in the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire only to discover that her predecessor, the previous ambassador from their small but fiercely independent mining Station, has died. But no one will admit that his death wasn’t an accident—or that Mahit might be next to die, during a time of political instability in the highest echelons of the imperial court.

Now, Mahit must discover who is behind the murder, rescue herself, and save her Station from Teixcalaan’s unceasing expansion—all while navigating an alien culture that is all too seductive, engaging in intrigues of her own, and hiding a deadly technological secret—one that might spell the end of her Station and her way of life—or rescue it from annihilation.

    Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki, Rosemary Valero O’Connell

  Laura Dean, the most popular girl in high school, was Frederica Riley’s dream girl: charming, confident, and SO cute. There’s just one problem: Laura Dean is maybe not the greatest girlfriend.

Reeling from her latest break up, Freddy’s best friend, Doodle, introduces her to the Seek-Her, a mysterious medium, who leaves Freddy some cryptic parting words: break up with her. But Laura Dean keeps coming back, and as their relationship spirals further out of her control, Freddy has to wonder if it’s really Laura Dean that’s the problem. Maybe it’s Freddy, who is rapidly losing her friends, including Doodle, who needs her now more than ever.

Fortunately for Freddy, there are new friends, and the insight of advice columnists like Anna Vice to help her through being a teenager in love.

    Tiempo Muerto by Caroline Hau

  Two women meet on the island where they shared a childhood. One is looking for her mother, the other her yaya. One is an Overseas Filipino Worker, the other an heiress. In an old bahay na bato haunted by scandal and tragedy, secrets and ghosts, the women find their lives entangled and face the challenge of refusing their predetermined fates and embracing their open futures.

    Gideon the Ninth, The Locked Tomb #1 by Tamsyn Muir

  The Emperor needs necromancers.

The Ninth Necromancer needs a swordswoman.

Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead bullshit.

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap off the page, as skillfully animated as necromantic skeletons. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy.

Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse. She packs up her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and prepares to launch her daring escape. But her childhood nemesis won’t set her free without a service.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House and bone witch extraordinaire, has been summoned into action. The Emperor has invited the heirs to each of his loyal Houses to a deadly trial of wits and skill. If Harrowhark succeeds she will become an immortal, all-powerful servant of the Resurrection, but no necromancer can ascend without their cavalier. Without Gideon’s sword, Harrow will fail, and the Ninth House will die.

Of course, some things are better left dead.

    Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City by K. J. Parker

  This is the story of Orhan, son of Siyyah Doctus Felix Praeclarissimus, and his history of the Great Siege, written down so that the deeds and sufferings of great men may never be forgotten.

A siege is approaching, and the city has little time to prepare. The people have no food and no weapons, and the enemy has sworn to slaughter them all.

To save the city will take a miracle, but what it has is Orhan. A colonel of engineers, Orhan has far more experience with bridge-building than battles, is a cheat and a liar, and has a serious problem with authority. He is, in other words, perfect for the job.

    Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion by Jia Tolentino

  Trick Mirror is an enlightening, unforgettable trip through the river of self-delusion that surges just beneath the surface of our lives. This is a book about the incentives that shape us, and about how hard it is to see ourselves clearly in a culture that revolves around the self. In each essay, Jia writes about the cultural prisms that have shaped her: the rise of the nightmare social internet; the American scammer as millennial hero; the literary heroine’s journey from brave to blank to bitter; the mandate that everything, including our bodies, should always be getting more efficient and beautiful until we die.

  Thanks for bearing with me. Keep a weather eye for the next post.

[Reading] My 10 favourite books from 2019 Would it be terrible if I kept doing this: popping onto Wordpress once a year, for a week, just to chirp energetically about the things I'd done the previous year, before disappearing into the aether?

[poke-headcanon-world]

AU where Sun, Moon, Hau, Lillie and Gladion are all prisoners in the Aether Paradise?

(Oh I LOVE angsty headcanons! Watch as I make these five innocent children fall into despair!)

(Just to warn you all, this is gonna be long AND dark. Read at your own risk)

*The AU starts with Moon losing against her first battle with Lusamine. Not only that but Hau gets defeated by Guzma and Gladion is unable to defeat Nihilego. This would drastically change the scene where Lusamine and Guzma go into Ultra Space, instead they stay in the human world and have Hau, Moon and her children captured to ensure that no one finds out of Aether’s intentions.

*Sun during the time was still in Kanto. When he hears about his sister’s disappearance a few weeks later he goes to Alola to help look for her. Lusamine decided to capture him for two reasons, one so that he wouldn’t mess with her plans as he most likely would should he find out the truth. The second reasons was to see Moon’s face when the Aether Foundation brought her brother to her.

*Initially the five of them were kept in separated rooms with seemed far more like prison cells than anything else. Their Pokemon were taken away by the employees along with whatever communication device they had. The only furniture each room had was a table, a surgery bed and a TV. Moon took this isolation the hardest due to her fears of being alone, this prompted Lusamine to rarely allow people into her room in order to mentally torture her further.

*It wasn’t just Moon who had to suffer, all five of the prisoners were equally physically and mentally tortured by Lusamine. As they should be, they were so close to ruining her plans and so they deserved to be punished for that. She learned each child’s fears and used them against each of them, then she used a shocking device with she placed on each child’s wrists, legs and neck when she thought they needed to be taught a lesson.

*With Nebby’s powers multiple wormholes were opened, causing far too many Ultra Beasts to be released into the Alola region and possibly in the future, the entire world could be overrun by the Alien Pokemon. Aether caught a many of the Beasts for research purposes. They experimented to on UB’s for a few weeks until Lusamine had an interesting idea. What would happen if you transfused an Ultra Beast’s DNA with a Human? It wouldn’t be hard to start the experiment, she had multiple perfect Beasts in her possession.

*And she had five test subjects.

*Having once worked with DNA spicing of a Pokemon, Colress was made head of the experiment. However he didn’t know the full details of the splicing, specifically, he didn’t know that the people receiving the Ultra Beast’s DNA never gave consent, or that they were human.

*With the DNA extracted from the Beasts, Faba and other employees went to work. They strapped each child to their beds and forcefully injected them with the DNA. Each child was experimented with a different Beast’s DNA, each chosen specifically by Lusamine herself.

*Of course, with the different DNA in each child, it took different times for the experiment to show it’s effect. Some of them received more doses of the DNA than others to try and speed up the process. Others started changing having their behaviour change thanks to the splicing.

*Moon was fused together with a Pheromosa. Causing far lighter skin that any human should have, the tiara to grow on her head along with the antennas and the rings on her arms. Moon’s feet also suffered a interesting change which made it impossible to wear her old shoes anymore. Instead she just wears her socks now. Other than her neck and the silky part of a Pheromosa’s body that can be seen, the rest of the segments are hidden inside Moon’s clothes.

*The transformation caused Moon to become faster than she was ever before. She may not be the fastest compared to the others but she makes that up with her new found strength.

*Sun had Kartana’s DNA in him. It gave him lighter skin much like his sister. But it also made blades grow from the top of his hands, antennas and the paper like four sided star on the back of his head. The change also affected his hair, which turned more orange than it’s original dark blue. His hair is also extremely sharp, just like the blades.

*This also made Sun far faster than any of the others. Having lost most of his weight thanks to the DNA he can now run at speeds so high that you can’t even see him moving sometimes. Surprisingly, Sun needed the least amount of doses to achieve this form. However the DNA DID make him more violent.

*Hau was one of the two that needed the most doses, as growing Xurktrees wire-like limbs was a difficult task. But eventually Hau managed to have something similar happen. The wires grew across his arms and legs and wrapped themselves around the existing limbs. The wires around his arms went down further, twisting together just a few inches away from Hau’s hand and formed a second hand for each arm. Like Sun, it effected his hair, this time by giving him electrical pulses running through each strand, making it seem almost pure white. Touching his hair while his angered is a bad idea unless you want to get shocked.

*The problem was that Hau was the most violent out of the others during the splicing. When he was able to control and use the electric powers within him at the beginning, he tried to attack the employees that entered him room. This went on for a while until the employees found that if they bring either Moon or Lillie into his room he’ll calm down almost instantly. Which was useful until they found other means to calm the Beast Splices.

*Knowing Lusamine it would be obvious on who she would splice Lillie with. Nihilego. Her hair and skin turned a pale blue to resemble the Ultra Beast. Despite the fact that it seems like she’s wearing a hat on her head but that’s actually part of the splicing giving her Nihilego’s head. Her entire body is more gelatinous and she has the Beast’s Venom running through her veins. It is unknown if she’s able to fuse with humans like a regular Nihilego.

*Finally, Gladion was fused with a Celesteela. Lusamine initially thought of using Buzzwole’s DNA but she decided that this would be better in humiliating her ‘son’. His skin became lighter, much like Sun and Moon. His hair grew up to his thighs before it became almost solid. He grew a large spike on his head along with Celesteela’s ‘skirt’ and cannons on his arms. Those cannons however don’t function so instead he had special blasters made for only him to control.

*Gladion was the one who needed the most doses of the beast’s DNA out of all the others. Heck, he probably had more doses than all other others COMBINED. This gave him a more of a ‘calm but deadly’ kind of personality. He seems neutral to most situations (Of course it’s hard to see what he’s feeling with his eyes being covered that way.) but he wont hesitate attacking anyone without warning should the need arise. The dead bodies of the Aether employees prove it.

*When all five of the children were successfully turned into partial Ultra Beasts Lusamine decided to make them serve her. Of course, since they were still somewhat human it would be impossible for her to use a simple beast ball to capture them. So she created something else. A device to place on the back of each fusions’ neck. The device would allow her to control each child with ease.

*Putting the devices on them was a... difficult task. But eventually Lusamine had five more Ultra Beasts to use as she pleased. Of course, using the five of them outside of the foundation would lead to... suspicion. So Lusamine kept them in their cells but also had a new room made for their training, hidden from the rest of the world.

*This was when Colress finally realised what the Beasts DNA was really used for. It infuriated him. True, he did work on splicing Kyurem with another Pokemon years ago but this was different, even his point of view had changed thanks the the hero of Unova. He didn’t think he’d cause this, now he needed to fix it somehow.

*So with Wicke’s help they managed to organise a plan. Simply put it, they managed to convince multiple employees to stall for them while they went and disengaged the devices. Or if that didn’t work, find a way to make the children break out of the devices’ control on their own. Fortunately, the second one was easier after a certain news appeared on each of the children’s TVs.

*Hala’s death. The news of that was enough to make Hau break out of Lusamine’s control and completely destroy the device. With him free the first thing he did was attack and kill the employees that came over to his room for possibly more testing. Then he ran out of his room in a animalistic rage, making his way to Moon room. The outbreak and all the employees rusing over to stop him gave Colress and Wicke the opportunity needed to make their way to disarm that remaining children’s devices.

*Hau used an electric attack on Moon when he managed to enter her room. Not to hurt her, but in order to destroy the device. Afterwards they went to Lillie and Moon removed the device from her. Now there was just Sun and Gladion to save. When they reached their rooms the three saw Sun and Gladion attacking two scientists. They were still under the devices control however so Moon ran over and broke Gladion’s device while Lillie and Hau both trapped Sun. Giving Colress enough time to rip the device off of him.

*Now with all the children back to their senses Colress and Wicke decided it would be best to have them all escape the island. After thinking for a bit they all agreed to go to Poke Pelago, where they would most likely be safe from Lusamine for a while. 

*All together they went to retrieve their ride pagers and their Pokemon, only to find out that all of their Pokemon... were now frozen... all of them, including Silvally, who Gladion tried everything to protect his precious Pokemon from this fate. The scene was heart breaking and the five of them had to leave before any of them broke down crying. On a higher note, Nebby wasn’t in the ice, so that gave them some hope that maybe, MAYBE, it was still alive.

*After retrieving their pages the five of them along with Colress and Wicke went of the Ride Charizard to Poke Pelago. The five of them were crying for most of the trip, unable to believe what had happened yet it DID.

*After they reached the Pelago Wicke instantly recognised Mohn, same for Gladion. But both of them remained silent as he took the others into his raft hut. Mohn didn’t recognise either Lillie, Gladion or Wicke, however. The only one he knew happened to be Moon. 

*They all stayed at the Pelego for a few weeks. Caring for Moon’s other Pokemon, planting and growing berries, exploring the caves and much more. Yet eventually Sun and Gladion started an fight between the others. Mostly because Sun and Gladion wanted to avenge their Pokemon, they wanted to hunt Lusamine and all the other employees down for what they did. While Moon, Lillie and Hau could understand their reasoning, they wished to stay. After the battle, Sun and Gladion left the Pelago and have yet to return.

*Hau, Moon, Lillie, Colress and Wicke all still remain in the Pelago. The three beasts hide each time someone new appears on the Pelago while Wicke and Colress would work with Mohn in helping the newcomer out.

*Colress would sometimes leave the Pelago for a few days and when he comes back he would always tell Moon, Lillie and Hau about anything that changed in Alola since no one at the Pelago can really connect to the news. Coltress would sometimes tell them about two Human-Like monsters hunting down anyone that is a part of Team Skull or the Aether Foundation. They all know who the two are

*Like how most people would be after what they experienced, all the children are suffering from terrible PTSD. Night-terrors and more erratic behaviour is common for all five of them. Sometimes they forget to eat or eat too little thanks to the diet Lusamine put them through and every often they’ll feel like their being shocked like they were during their time in Aether. All of their fears and phobias are now ten times worse than they were before being imprisoned as well.

*Hau and the others don’t want to leave the Pelago. Their too scared to leave. The chances of them getting captured and put through everything they went through again was too high. Even if it meant possibly saving Nebby or helping Sun and Gladion out should THEY get captured, they won’t do it. Their staying in the Pelago and no one can tell them otherwise.

[pokemaniacal]

Pokémon Moon, Episode 7: In Which My Culinary Skills Are Pushed To Their Limit

Since the next Captain, Kiawe, is a Fire Pokémon specialist, he lives on a volcano. Because of course he does.  Fire trainers don’t really ‘do’ subtlety.  Wela Volcano, which is named for the Hawaiian word for heat or burning, and corresponds to Haleakala in the real world, looms over the northeast corner of Akala Island.  Although many of its basalt flows are still glowing red from the last eruption, the volcano is perfectly safe – or at least, this is the claim made by the Seismic Sisters, a set of Alolan triplets who maintain tunnels that provide surprisingly easy access up and down its slopes.  Among the hardy, fire-tolerant Pokémon that live there is a wily black lizard Pokémon called Salandit, a Fire/Poison-type, which nearly blows my Trumbeak out of the sky with Dragon Rage.  I decide to retire my Butterfree and recruit one in her place (a female, which I’m told is important); that Dragon Rage is sure to come in handy as long as we’re still low-level.

The bare-chested Fire Captain is already waiting for me in the middle of a circular platform within the volcano crater itself.  With him are three sinister-looking black Pokémon with bone staves, their tips glowing with spectral green fire.  Wait… are those Marowak?  As I stare quizzically at his Pokémon, Kiawe explains the terms of his trial.  He and his Marowak are fire dancers in the ancient Alolan tradition.  They will perform two dances for me, and my task is to discern the difference between them. “…that’s it?” I ask suspiciously.  “No battle? No Totem Pokémon?  What’s the catch?”  Kiawe returns a sober frown. “Alolan fire dance is no trifling entertainment.  It is a sophisticated union of art, worship and discipline, performed to honour Tapu Lele.  The slightest change in position or tempo can alter the meaning of the entire dance. My trial will tax your powers of observation to their limit.”  Duly chastened, I sit down cross-legged at the edge of the stage to watch.  Kiawe nods solemnly and turns to his three Marowak. “Begin!”  The Marowak march in a circle, spinning their flaming staves, then freeze in a set of coordinated poses.  They hold their positions for a moment, then at a nod from Kiawe, spring into action once more.  The motions and tempo seem identical, but when the dance stops, one of the Marowak is facing in a different direction than I remember from the first time.  I point to it. “That one. That one’s stance is different.” Kiawe gasps – and the Marowak leaps right at me, spinning its staff once again.  With a strangled, squawking yell, I summon my new Salandit and order her to open fire with Dragon Rage.  Scorched by the brilliant energy, the Marowak soon kneels in submission.  “Right,” I say, more than a little breathless. “Right, okay.  Wrong answer.  Do I get another try?” “No, no!” Kiawe stays hastily.  “Marowak was so pleased by your right answer that it simply had to battle you!”  The Marowak twirls its staff again and bows low. “Oh,” I say.  “Oh. Okay.  Sure.”  So presumably the other two Marowak will challenge me in turn. “Onward to the second dance!”  I watch the three Marowak closely as they run through their practiced motions.  When I think I have them memorised, I nod to Kiawe, who commands the Marowak to repeat their dance.  Again, I see no differences until the dance is almost ov- “BLAAAARGHAGHAH!” “AHHHH! What the-!” I flail my arms wildly and tumble backwards off the stage as a scruffy hiker leaps in front of me, shouting and making gruesome faces.  “What the HELL, dude!?  This is, like… a sacred quest thing, or… or something!”  I squint at the Marowak, frozen in their final poses, but my concentration has been broken.  Is… the one on the left holding its staff at a different angle?  “Damn it, I couldn’t see the end of the dance properly,” I complain to Kiawe.  “How am I supposed to-” The hiker, crouching on my right, starts chuckling.  “You stay out of this!” I snap at him.  “Just because you paid for the ‘authentic Alola experience’ doesn’t mean you get to be part of whatever- what- whatever…” I pause. Oh.  Ohhhhh.  Oh, this is ridiculous.  I turn back to Kiawe, then point at the hiker.  “It’s this idiot, isn’t it?  He’s what was different about the second dance.” Kiawe looks startled. “You… you are correct!  B-but how!?” I give him the most withering stare I can muster. “So… ‘ancient tradition’?  ‘Sophisticated union of art and worship’?  Really?” “Well…” Kiawe begins, slowly.  “Alola’s booming tourist industry has been very good for the region.  Tapu Lele looks kindly on visitors, and permits us to… uh… involve them in our rituals.” “…you know, this is gonna sound totally hypocritical of me… and it is… but I don’t even care: tourism has ruined this region,” I tell Kiawe flatly.  He does his best to ignore me. “Uh, Kiawe, m’dude,” the hiker says.  “Do I get to, uh…?”  Kiawe smacks his palm to his forehead. “Go ahead…” he mutters.“Radical, dude!” the hiker shouts, then jumps to the centre of the stage, faces me, and calls a Magmar from a Pokéball. “We’re doing this?  Really?” I sigh, and deploy my Salandit’s Dragon Rage once again to defeat the Magmar.  Kiawe coughs. “My… hiker friend was so pleased by your right answer that he… simply had to battle you,” he says, with no enthusiasm whatsoever.  “Onward to the final dance.”  This time, the hiker actually leaps in amongst the Marowak near the end and joins in their movements.  Kiawe lets me observe their final positions for a few moments, then commands the dance to begin again.  Once more, I watch closely for any change.  Then, moments from the end… “SALAAAA!” A huge black and pink lizard springs over the opposite edge of the volcano crater, lands in the middle of the dance, and flings its arms wide, with a grin and a wink.  I half expect it to pull out a cane and a straw hat and start tap-dancing.  I stare at the lizard, then at Kiawe, then back at the lizard. “…okay I’m just gonna fight this thing now.” 

My opponent is a Salazzle, a weirdly salacious-looking evolved Salandit.  My own Salandit is clearly outclassed, but she knows Dragon Rage and the Totem Salazzle seems not to; nor does the Salazzle minion that it summons.  Unfortunately, the second Salazzle hits mine with a Torment to keep her from blasting the Totem Pokémon repeatedly, and we are forced to retreat.  This thing is actually quite nasty.  Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.  I send in my Slowpoke and perform the wave-like dance motion that Lana taught me to activate her Z-Crystal.  Slowpoke summons a terrible Hydro Vortex that sweeps up the Salazzle, batters it around, and throws it off the top of the mountain, wailing piteously as it falls.  The little Salandit still has some tricks, though, hitting my Slowpoke with a cloud of Poison Gas and following up with a devastating Venoshock that knocks her out. I briefly pause to applaud its bravery, then send in my own Salandit to finish the job.   Kiawe salutes me, and presents me with his Z-Crystal, known as the Firium-Z, several Quick Balls, and the ability to summon a new Pokémon with my ride pager: his Charizard.  Charizard, like Latias and Latios in Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby, replaces the Fly HM, and can take us to a variety of locations both inside and outside of towns and cities, including between Alola’s four islands… and beyond.

On the outskirts of Alola lies a chain of small islands known as the Poké Pelago. They are beyond the reach of any regular ferry routes (but not Charizard’s wings), and only one human appears to live there: a fellow with the uninspiring name of Mohn, who acts as their caretaker.  Mohn is a cheerful hermit who seems to have gotten just a little too much sun over the years.  He suffers from a crippling addiction to Pokébeans, and lives in a leaky, run-down wooden hut perched precariously atop a distressed-looking raft tethered just off the coast of Isle Abeens.  Thanks to some suspicious technology of Mohn’s, trainers’ Pokémon can visit the islands whenever they like, warping directly there from… wherever it is Pokémon go while in a PC box.  On my first visit to the Poké Pelago, Mohn promises that, if I help feed his Pokébean habit, he’ll get off his butt for an afternoon and develop some of the islands to make them more pleasant for Pokémon to visit.  Mohn describes five islands to me, all with stupid names, and each suited for different activities: harvesting Pokébeans, growing berries, searching for treasure, training, and relaxing.  Despite my… suspicions of Mohn, I find it hard not to love the Poké Pelago, because it embodies something I’ve wanted these games to have for a long time, namely some way of giving meaning to the 90% of your Pokémon who aren’t with you at any given moment.  The notion that we’ve been leaving most of our Pokémon in internet limbo for weeks or months on end this whole time is easily one of the most troubling things about the series, and extremely difficult to reconcile with either the anime’s portrayal of Ash’s off-duty Pokémon or the games’ own attitude to Pokémon as friends and partners.  This is a major item ticked off my long-term wishlist – and it does a bunch of useful stuff too. 

Once my first visit to the Poké Pelago is finished and all my B-team Pokémon are getting settled in, I strike out along the northern coastal road for the location of Captain Mallow’s trial: the Lush Jungle.  The road itself is unremarkable, but many of the people and Pokémon I meet give me pause for thought.  The first is a truly odd creature called a Stufful.  It… seems to be literally a soft toy.  Its type is Normal/Fighting, it looks like a teddy bear with a smiling pink face, and its ability grants it damage reduction against contact moves but makes it weak to Fire, because it is made of stuffing.  I am not sure whether I should be disturbed by it.  Not far along the road, a sterile-looking white prefabricated structure houses some researchers from an organisation called the Aether Foundation, a syndicate of scientists and conservationists working to protect Pokémon from evildoers like Team Skull.  I can’t argue with that, and it sounds like they do good work.  Only… their uniforms… they look exactly like the people I saw chasing Lillie when I first came to Alola, whom I’d assumed were airport security apprehending a dangerous terrorist.  Why would they have been after her and Nebby?  There can only be one conclusion…

Lillie is definitely a member of Team Skull.  Her professed fear of them is merely a smokescreen, to keep me from realising the truth about her.  Her wickedness is without limit and beyond comprehension.

Down near the western end of the road is the entrance to a secluded valley, where a self-professed scientist is trying to begin the construction of a theme park filled with prehistoric Pokémon reanimated from fossil remains.  Because that’s a project that’s never gone horribly wrong before and is guaranteed to have no negative consequences. “So… just out of curiosity, did Jurassic Poképark ever get released here in Alola?” I ask him casually. “Oh, absolutely!  It’s one of my favourite movies of all time!” he enthuses. “Huh. Really?” “Yes indeed!  I had to leave after the first half-hour, unfortunately, but it was truly inspiring! One of these days I’ll find the time to watch it the whole way through.” If I find any fossils, this guy should be able to resurrect them for me… although, to be honest, I’d almost prefer to brave the customs desk and take them back to Kanto to be examined by an actual scientist.  The last stop before Mallow’s jungle is a motel with an attached Pokémon Centre. That weird, angsty Gladion kid appears to be staying here, but he is in no mood to talk, refusing to say anything but “get out.”  I try to explain to him that, where I come from, wandering Pokémon trainers are usually allowed to enter any building or room freely, as a matter of simple courtesy, but he is unmoved.  I divert my attention to the rocky shore below.  Here, on the northwest coast of Akala Island, is the habitat of a weak and cowardly Pokémon called Wimpod, a Bug/Water-type with poor stats in everything but speed, no moves but Struggle Bug and Sand Attack, an ability that causes it to flee in terror from any battle when its health is low, and a propensity for eating rotten food.  If I know Pokémon – which I do – Wimpod is bound to evolve into something downright terrifying, and who better to make it happen than me?  Wimpod itself, unfortunately, has other ideas, and won’t battle me at all until I loop around to the far end of the beach to cut off its retreat from its burrow.  I’m going to turn this Pokémon into an all-powerful terror whether it likes it or not!

We’ve made a full circle around the volcano: the Lush Jungle where Captain Mallow makes her lair is just north of Brooklet Hill.  The jungle and its mistress promise Grass-types, and that promise is music to my ears.  It’s about time Alola gave me something worth bragging about when I get back to Kanto. We’ll just see whose Grass Pokémon are stronger when I blow a hole in your ceiling with my Grass-type Z-Crystal, won’t we, Erika?  Next year’s Flower Power Grand Prix is mine, you smug, condescending little- “Oh, hello! Thanks for stopping by!”  Mallow’s voice jolts me out of my reverie as she welcomes me to the jungle.  She looks me up and down, smiles approvingly.  “I knew it the first time I saw you and your team… You’ve chosen only the finest ingredients!  That’s why I’m gonna make you help me- er, no!  I mean, that’s why you should try my trial!”  I sigh and try to give her a friendly smile. “Listen, if the trial is just, like, doing your laundry or whatever, I don’t mind. I’m sure you’re a busy girl, and I just want to tick all the boxes so Tapu Koko will get off my back.” “What? Oh, not at all!  I hope I didn’t make you think- oh, dear.  No, I just get a little overexcited sometimes.  Trust me, my trial will be just as challenging as any of the others you’ve faced so far.”  Mallow closes her eyes for a moment, breathes deeply, and then flings her arms wide and looks up into the lush canopy as though searching for inspiration.  “Ah… the breath of the jungle…” she sighs rapturously, then suddenly turns her attention back to me and snaps her fingers. “I can tell just what today’s special should be!  My personal specialty: the Mallow Special!  I’m gonna need you to find four ingredients for me!”  I blink a couple of times. “Wait… your trial is a cooking challenge?” “Yep!” She grins at me.  “What were you expecting?  Hope that’s not gonna be too tough for you!” “Oh… I think I’ll manage.”  I’ve studied the local cuisines of every region I’ve visited (well, except Kalos… bunch of stuck-up food snobs refused to teach me a single thing after I dared to question whether a boiled bone was an acceptable restaurant dish, but Kalosian cooking is overrated anyway).  This should be a piece of cake.  Perhaps literally. “I’ll need… Mago Berries, Tiny Mushrooms, some Revival Herb, and a Miracle Seed!” Mallow continues, counting off on her fingers.  I nod sagely as I consider the ingredients she’s specified.  It’s an interesting combination of flavours.  The odd sweet-and-bitter combination of the Mago Berry and Revival Herb has something in common with some old central Hoenn dishes I’m familiar with, while mushrooms are basically alien to the traditional Hoenn diet, but should ground the other flavours quite nicely.  My guess is we’re going to boil it all into a sort of stew or broth.  Mallow gives me a final piece of advice before I take off into the jungle: her Stoutland will be invaluable in finding the best ingredients. 

Stoutland first leads me to a cluster of mushrooms, guarded by a slender mushroom Pokémon, Shiinotic, the evolved form of Morelull.  My Trumbeak deals with it swiftly; then, as I rummage through the assorted fungi, Mallow shows up.  “Ooh, a Tiny Mushroom!  That’s great! There’s a secret to why they’re so popular with some people.  You’ll have to try one to find out what it is!”  Is… is she trying to get me into drugs?  But actually, that gives me an idea.  Mallow’s request for “Tiny Mushrooms” was pretty vague; there are a lot of different species in this small patch alone… I mean, she was probably talking about the Alolan shiitake, but there’s also some azure chanterelle, Pyroar’s mane, urchin Shaymin, and… oooohh… I spot a single pinkish, black-spotted toadstool on the edge of the patch.  Could it be? The legendarily delicious Milktank’s glory cap, said to produce a soup so rich it would make a king weep? Hmm.  Well.  Unless it’s the equally rare lookalike, destroying Snubbull, in which case eating it would cause catastrophic organ failure.

…eh. What’s life without a little risk, right?

Continuing to follow Stoutland’s nose, I head into the northwest part of the jungle and come upon a grove of fruit trees.  My Salandit dispatches the Fomantis guarding the trees, and I start picking Mago Berries.  Then I keep going.  Mago is nice, but we could get a more complex flavour by adding some Persim Berries too, and… oh my god are those Spelon Berries?  I f&%#ing love Spelon Berries, and they’re a classic central Hoenn flavour; let’s take a handful of those… A few more Fomantis lurk in the grassy northern area where Stoutland and I go to search for Revival Herb.  We should only need a tiny bit; the intense bitter flavour is what makes the dish, but even slightly too much could just as easily wreck it.  I pull up a fistful of the rare herbs and sniff deeply.  Wow this stuff is pungent.  No wonder it wakes up fainted Pokémon.  There’s an old family legend that my great-grandmother used so much Revival Herb in her cooking that the smell of her stew could actually raise the dead. Probably apocryphal, of course, but there must be some reason my family got kicked out of Lavender Town.  One ingredient left… Miracle Seeds are packed with a veritable rainbow of nutrients, so they tend to get dug up and eaten by wild Pokémon unless they’re buried in spots that are very hard to get to – like under piles of crumbling boulders. Stoutland confirms the presence of something interesting under one such pile in the eastern part of the jungle, and with a little help from Hala’s Tauros, we’re able to smash it out of the way and dig up the precious seed hidden beneath.  Time to get cooking. 

“Great!” Mallow enthuses, when I confirm that I have everything.  “Now that we’ve got all the ingredients, we just need…” “Sorry to keep you waiting,” calls out a voice from the entrance to the jungle.  It’s the other Captains, Kiawe and Lana, who have brought their own… contributions to Mallow’s little culinary experiment. Kiawe’s Thick Club and Rare Bone, used to crush and mix the ingredients, should theoretically impart a little of their own flavour to the stew, and the Fresh Water that Lana has brought from Brooklet Hill is the purest around.  Lana’s also brought a Rocky Helmet to mix it all in, which… y’know what, I feel like this is some kind of weird inside joke between the Captains that I’m never going to get, so I’ll just drop that one.  I light a small fire, heat the water, and start grinding up my ingredients.  As the stew begins to cook, a tantalising smell wafts through the jungle, and Mallow mentions, casually, that this should summon her Totem Pokémon. “…wait what?”  I suddenly feel distinctly and disturbingly watched, and slowly turn around. “Luuuu-RAAAAAAAAN!” screams the huge orchid mantis behind me. “OH SWEET MOTHER OF MEW!” I scream back at it, frantically grabbing my Pikachu’s Pokéball. She knows Hidden Power: Ice, and this thing – Lurantis, the evolved form of Fomantis, as the Rotomdex unhelpfully explains while I continue screaming – is a Grass-type, so- “LU-RAAAN!” the Lurantis screeches, igniting a massive blade of radiant solar energy from the tip of its claw and slamming it down on my poor Pikachu’s head. Another screech summons a wild Trumbeak to its side. “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” I keep screaming, in hopes of confusing the Lurantis, as I call on my Salandit and perform the motions Kiawe taught me to activate the Fire-type Z-move, Inferno Overdrive.  The Lurantis is injured, but not critically, and quickly heals itself with Synthesis… then keeps healing itself as its Trumbeak grinds down my Salandit.  “THAT’S IT; NOW I’M MAD,” I shout, sending my Raticate to crush the Trumbeak.  The Lurantis, more bemused than concerned, X-Scissors my Raticate, and then calls out again, summoning… a Castform.  “…ohhhhhh $#!t,” I say to myself quietly.  If that thing can take control of the weather, the Lurantis will be able to start spamming Solar Blade, and then I’m dead for sure.  I back away from the Lurantis, grab Lana’s stew-filled helmet, and hold it out in front of me. “Lu-ran?” the Totem Pokémon asks. “Uh… here! Take it!” I shout, putting the helmet down on the ground and then diving for cover behind a boulder.  The Lurantis sniffs cautiously at the stew, then begins gorging itself.  I watch, heart pounding and fingers crossed.  A few moments later, the Lurantis’ eyes widen, it stands bolt upright, turns bright red, begins venting steam from its ears, and starts running around in circles wailing.  Moments after that, it stops abruptly, as though it had run into a glass wall, exhales a cloud of smoke, and then keels over, twitching.  Mallow stares in abject shock. “…um… are you quite sure you got all those ingredients right?”  I give her a nervous smile. “…you know, my great-grandmother always used to say cooking is more of an art than a science… and, uh… well, sometimes more of a gamble than an art…” 

Ridiculous quote log:

“I want to make my Kadabra evolve!  Friends! I need friends!” Listen, man, if that’s your only reason for wanting friends, you’re going to have a hard time making any. 

“I guess I wasn’t able to make use of the potential energy of being in a high place.” Is this the Pokémon equivalent of “it’s over, Anakin; I have the high ground”? 

“Research! Research!  I will research the Pokémon!” …calm down, dude. 

“So! What do you think of the largeness of my area?” …it’s great.  Really great. 

The team: 

Tane the Dartrix Male, Timid nature, Overgrow ability Level 25 Tackle, Razor Leaf, Astonish, Pluck 

Rhea the Trumbeak Female, Lax nature, Keen Eye ability Level 25 Pluck, Roost, Fury Attack, Rock Smash 

Ashley the Pikachu Female, Timid nature, Static ability Level 24 Thundershock, Hidden Power (Ice), Nasty Plot, Thunder Wave 

Hypatia the Slowpoke Female, Hardy nature, Own Tempo ability Level 24 Confusion, Yawn, Headbutt, Scald 

Soot the Raticate Female, Hardy nature, Hustle ability Level 25 Crunch, Tail Whip, Hyper Fang, Focus Energy 

Joanna the Salandit Female, Timid nature, Corrosion ability Level 24 Flame Burst, Sweet Scent, Dragon Rage, Smog

[hellsbovnd]

two of a kind.

wc: 1890 focus: leonnaux altoix

[ PDF MIRROR ]

Day three of Leonnaux’s stay at the Scholasticate and it was already starting to wear on him. The classes were easy enough—the Duskwight had never studied in a classroom setting before, but his time as an information broker digging for secrets to sell and as a journalist for the Mythril Eye made it simple to filter out the bullshit from the lectures. He was used to dividing his attention, so the persona he adopted as the man supposedly known as Paschale de Vimaroix was one of an aloof foreign-raised heir—bright enough to make it into the Scholasticate on his own merits, but easily bored by the material. There was a test in a week and Leonnaux had already memorized half of the material. By comparison to the intricacies of aether theory and alchemy, Ishgardian history, politics, and (ugh) scripture were child’s play.

No, he had no trouble with the classes… But adjusting to life at the Scholasticate was another matter entirely. He lived among the other students in a communal affair that Leonnaux hated more than he anticipated. There was a room for a single student provided in the suite he was assigned, but he hadn’t been lucky enough to get it. Instead, he had been assigned one roommate in a room that was set up in such a way that it gave the impression that it was intended to be a storage closet—at least in comparison to the loft he called home in Ul’dah.

If it had only been him in the room he might have been able to stomach it—or hells, if his roommate had been a Hyur then maybe it would be tolerable because at least Leonnaux wouldn’t have to be self-conscious about hogging leg room.

Even another Elezen around his height or shorter would have been tolerable, but instead he was assigned one Rochevert de Laurent as a roommate, who had done a much better job of (as Leonnaux mother had always put it) growing into his ears than Leonnaux himself had. He had a good half-fulm on Leonnaux himself even though he was a year his junior. Rochevert’s one saving grace was that he wasn’t half the diva that Leonnaux could be: whereas Leonnaux at home spent about a bell peacocking in the mirror, Rochevert could be ready and heading to class within a quarter bell of waking up. He often tied his long, strawberry-blond hair up in a high ponytail rather than letting it hang loose as seemed to be fashionable of Ishgard’s noble men, spent no time on ‘powdering his nose’ at all, and didn’t even bother to have his uniform pressed in the wash. While he assumed that they were natural, the man’s manner meant that Leonnaux also couldn’t rule out the fact that he’d put the red highlights in his hair as an act of adolescent rebellion.

If Leonnaux didn’t know him any better, he might have taken him to be a lowborn attending the Scholasticate in an effort to move up in life, but if Rochevert was to be believed then his blood was thoroughly blue. First son of a vassal house (which Leonnaux was only beginning to wrap his head around the concept) to House Haillenarte, Rochevert had about as much interest in playing heir to his house as he did in his studies at the Scholasticate—which was to say, none at all. But heirs had little say in their fate it seemed, and he had been sent off to the Scholasticate anyway to be straightened out—or find the Fury, or something.

And unfortunately for Leonnaux, it seemed that Rochevert considered the man supposedly known as Paschale de Vimaroix something of a kindred spirit. Perhaps it was his developing penchant of dozing off while the scripture teacher droned on and on about the holy texts or maybe Rochevert sensed something about the supposed-heir that drew him to Paschale. Whatever the case was, Leonnaux hadn’t been able to get him to stop talking since the night they settled into their room. He was getting good at tuning him out, though, similarly to how he was getting good at tuning out droning teachers and the priests he had to suffer through when the students were led down to morning service.

He was talking even then, Leonnaux distantly realized as he twisted himself over the book that Alaire had given him before his departure—some text on Ishgardian decorum, though given the man’s apparent distaste for the Holy See, Leonnaux had no idea why he’d keep such a thing on hand or why he’d want it back when Leonnaux was done with it. (Not that Leonnaux wanted to keep it—it was in too poor condition to justify stealing and Leonnaux had no desire to provoke his client’s ire.)

No, correction: he had started talking when Leonnaux had gotten back from class and simply never stopped talking.

Leonnaux had returned from class a bell ago.

The book closed with a dull clap and was tucked once more beneath Leonnaux’s pillow. He could feel his blood pressure rising, but eventually worked up the nerve to look over to Rochevert, who was seated on a cushioned bench across from their bunked beds—directly across from Leonnaux himself, unfortunately, since he’s been unlucky enough to arrive late when it was time to move in, and Rochevert had already called ‘dibs’ on the top bunk. Normally, Leonnaux wouldn’t care. But the privacy that a top bunk would have afforded him as opposed to the bottom one would have been nice…

“… Anyway that’s how I decided I wanted to be a marksman, but Father said no, the Foundation is dirty and gross and beneath us. But the lowborn, you know? They aren’t so bad, once you get to know them; they’re certainly a lot more fun to hang around than the folks around here. Anyway…”

“Rochevert…”

“The point is! They’ll call you whatever you ask them to—but—Oh, have you met Amalie from Pre-Church History yet? Anyway, when I asked her to call me Revolver Ocelot she just looked at me and laughed! What’s so funny about that, huh? It’s a perfectly good name, I think—I mean, they call the leader of the Hounds Mongrel. And I mean, I think that’s a little degrading but it doesn’t sound like she minds so I guess I can’t judge…”

TRADERS. “Rochevert,” Leonnaux starts, a little more forcefully. He pinches the bridge of his nose briefly before his hand trails up to brush his bangs out of his face, eyebrows going up with his hand as Rochevert keeps fucking going.

“But some folks still call the Lord Commander the Blue Bastard, so why can’t I be Revolver Ocelot? I guess it’s back to the—” Rochevert abruptly cuts himself off, as if he suddenly realized that he wasn’t just talking at a brick wall anymore. “Hn? What’s it, Pasch?”

“… Don’t. Don’t call me that. And please. Be quiet. Isn’t your throat sore?”

Rochevert briefly looked at Leonnaux as if he’d grown a second head, but then he looked away, pulling his ankle into his lap. “… Oh—I mean—sorry. I just thought, you know—we were friends?”

“I’ve known you for three days.”

“Yeah, yeah, right, right… Sorry; I guess I got carried away again.”

Leonnaux let out a sigh, letting himself flop down on the bed and just stare up at the bottom of the top bunk for a moment, which he’d already taken the liberty of affixing a well-worn poster depicting some Gridanian minstrels who were well-known in lower Eorzea to in order to lend his persona some credibility. It was the little details that mattered, and while Leonnaux only knew of them in passing, Paschale loved them. This particular illustration also depicted them putting on a show at the height of the Moonfire Faire—a performance that Leonnaux had a poster of because he had managed to personally attend said performance and pre-order the illustration from the artists in charge of making them. It just so happened that he hoped that on the colder nights when even the thick blankets couldn’t keep the frigid draft at bay, maybe memories of the Moonfire Faire might keep his toes from freezing off.

When he looked back over to Rochevert, the young man was still unfortunately dejected. Leonnaux’s heart sank, and his breath left him in a sigh. “… I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry. I guess I’m just not used to people being… Chatty.”

“What, didn’t your maids ever regale you with tales of their youth?”

“You don’t have to run your mouth to keep yourself warm on the La Noscean coast.”

“Oh…”

“But if you would slow down, I think I could bring myself to pay attention, Revolver Ocelot.”

Rochavert perked up, then.

“The key, you see,” Leonnaux began, pushing himself up onto his elbows, “To telling a good story is that you have to hook your listener. If you just ramble on and on then they’re going to tune you out. Which is what you’ve been doing for the past bell. It is very hard to hook a listener if you don’t pause to, say, breathe.”

“Oh… Well, I guess I never thought about it that way. Our kitchen-maid never complained.”

“I am sorry to inform you that she never complained because she wasn’t listening. It’s kind of late for storytelling now, but if you manage to catch me after… Uh…” He paused a moment to crack open his thin, leather-bound notebook that he kept his class schedule, daily activity logs, and notes on his peers and teachers—among other things—in. “… I have two bells of free time after Philosophy and Morals lets out. If you meet me at the Hoplon, I’d be willing to take a walk and… Coach you on the art of storytelling.”

Rochevert’s mismatched eyes practically lit up, then, and he nodded emphatically. “The Skywatcher said that a blizzard’s due in the morning, but it should let up enough by the afternoon that we can meet up. If we head down to the Crozier, I can pick you up some of that tea you’re always drinking. Nice choice, by the way; Mother always told me that that’s the best brand there is.”

Leonnaux blinked. He hadn’t realized that Rochevert paid that much attention to his habits. At least, though, Leonnaux pretty much just picked whatever tea was being offered in the dining hall at first—and it just so happened that he liked it enough that he decided that it would be the replacement for the Ul’dahn tea that he usually brewed. That might be… Inconvenient.

“Yes, that sounds wonderful,” he replied instead, pushing himself to his feet. “Well, I’m going to draw a bath before bed if it’s no trouble. Don’t let me keep you up.”

“Right! Well, enjoy, then; I think Chancel might be in there right now, so if you cross paths would you tell him that I need the syllabus for that Speech and Etiquette course we were in on the first day…? If I flunk this semester, Father’s going to be pissed.”

“Fury forfend; do it yourself! I’m not going to strike up a conversation with someone while I’m in the process of undressing.”