#{{ FLEM KILLED ME IN THIS SCENE.... }}

[toxinoire]

Finally, I can write again!

This is how I visualize the final scene went down. A mix of both the 1988 movie and the musical.

~~~~~~

"Say hi to God."

Kaboom

Veronica, with a cigarette between her fingers and a sprained ankle, made her way through the school hallway as the other students ran past her to see where the explosion came from.

She contemplated.

She feels nothing.

Is she happy that four people had to fucking die? Absolutely not.

But...

When she looks at who are dead, Heather Chandler, Kurt Kelly, Ram Sweeney, Jason Dean...

Honestly she only feels bad for Heather. Because as much of a bitch as she was, she had her good moments. Moments that made her seem slightly human.

Kurt and Ram, she doesn't care. Those two were rapists. She doesn't like that she pulled the trigger, but Kurt and Ram being dead meant nothing to her.

As for JD....

She hopes he sees his mother. She hopes his father grows a brain and realizes his son is gone because he was never a father to him.

But as for him literally exploding in front of her...

She feels nothing.

She can only mourn that JD she first met, the lost boy who wanted his mother and was sweet, kind, a gentleman, and caring. Not the one that died in front of her.

The crowds moved past her, Veronica is too tired to even care that no one is asking what happened to her, why she looks disheveled and has blood running down her head.

Well,

Someone did say something.

"Veronica." Heather Duke called her, in all red. Veronica can't deny that she looks good in it, but still, she hates her in it. "You look like hell." Heather Duke moved closer to her, as if to inspect her. Veronica notices the slight concern in her eyes, and how she seems to be holding back her hands from reaching out to Veronica.

Veronica hates that last detail. Heather used to always reach out to her.

"Yeah?" Veronica chuckles. "I just got back."

Then, another voice calls her. "Veronica!"

Veronica and Heather Duke turn around to see Heather McNamara running to them. "Where have you been?!"

Heather Mac looks worried. Like, really really worried. "Miss Flemming told us you killed yourself." Heather Mac actually reaches out to her, inspecting her injuries, before she rests her hands on Veronica's face.

Veronica doesn't even hide how she leans into the touch.

She then sees the red fucking scrunchie and snaps back to where she is.

Veronica moves closer to Heather Duke and turns her around to take that damn thing off her.

"Veronica, what are you doing?" Heather Duke asks.

The students who were originally going to run past them stops in their tracks when they see Veronica with the scrunchie.

She wears it on her wrist and raises it up.

Time to actually do something.

"Listen up folks, war is over. Brand new sheriff's come to town." Veronica knows she sounds tired, but fuck that. "We are done with acting evil, we will lay out weapons down." She ties her hair with the scrunchie.

Everyone is watching her.

Good.

"We're all damaged, we're all frightened, we're all freaks. But that's alright. We'll endure it, we'll survive it-" Veronica pauses slightly when she sees Betty and Martha by the crowd. She calls them. "Martha, Betty."

They both turn to look at her, clearly resisting the urge to move. Veronica takes a deep breath. "Are you free tonight?"

Martha and Betty look at each other, before turning back to Veronica. They actually move forward this time.

It was silent for a while.

"What?" Martha breaks the silence.

"Uh, my date to pep rally blew-"

Accidental slip

"-me off..."

That's better

"So I was wondering if you guys weren't doing anything tonight we could pop some jiffy pop? Rent a video?" Veronica can hear how hopeful she sounds.

She doesn't have the right to be hopeful after what she did, but she still is.

"Something with a happy ending." She finishes. Veronica really wants a happy ending right now.

"Are there any happy endings?" Martha asks. Gosh, she sounds so tired. Betty isn't even looking at her in the eye.

Veronica looks at everyone around them and sighs. She turns back to her--hopefully still best friends. "I can't promise no more Heathers, high school may not ever end." She steps closer. "Still I miss you, I'd be honored-" She swallows. "If you'd let me be your friend."

"My friend." Martha says, as she takes Veronica by the hand and pulls her into a hug.

"We can be seventeen. We can learn how to chill." Veronica feels tears form in her eyes as Martha joins her. "If no one-"

Then, Betty joins them. "-loves me now, someday somebody will." She finally meets Veronica's gaze. "We can be seventeen. Still time to make things right. One day we'll change the world, but let's kick back tonight."

This time, it's Veronica who reaches out her to Heather Duke and Heather Mac.

Heather Mac immediately grabs her hand. "Let's go be seventeen. Take off our clothes and dance."

Veronica walks, well, limps, towards Heather Duke and reaches out, a silent plea in her eyes. Heather Duke hesitantly takes her hand, and once she has fully held it, Veronica pulls her into a hug.

Heather Duke puts one hand on Veronica's back, lightly returning the hug. But she grips onto Veronica's jacket as if it's a lifeline.

Veronica sighed. She really missed her. She didn't like what the scrunchie turned her into.

But holy shit, did she missed her.

"Act like we're all still kids, cause this could be our final chance."

Veronica smiles as she sees Betty, Martha, Heather M, and Heather D all try to be nice to each other.

Maybe they can all be friends.

Now everyone is joining them.

"Always be seventeen

Celebrate you and I

maybe we won't grow old.

And maybe then we'll never die."

Veronica feels happy. Genuinely, happy.

She missed that.

"We'll make it beautiful."

Veronica swears she hears Heather Chandler's voice.

"We'll make it beautiful.

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful"

This really feels like a win for Veronica.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I have a lot of hot takes, and the fact that I actually like that the Heathers musical made JD redeemable sure is one of them. I guess. It's not like, my most out there media oppinion, but I do think it warrents some explaining, because making a character redeemable does not inherently make them better, and there are a lot of reasons I think it works thematically for JD from Heathers. Also heads up this might be kinda incoherent bcuz Im coming down from being Unreasonably Scared and I am also eepy. Just let me cook guys I promise I have smthn to say-

Okay so like. Everyone in Heathers sucks. That's like a major part of the story. The Heathers are bitches who bully everyone, Kurt and Ram are. Stereotypical highschool jocks. Veronica is pretty decent and is mostly doing what she has to to survive throughout most of the story, but a lot of that is still morally objectionable, and JD is a fucking serial killer. Everybody here is An Asshole of Some Variety. But the thing is... them being punished for that via dying is never framed as a good thing. Veronica keeps having breakdowns because of all the murder, keeps saying she didn't want them dead, and makes the point that all of the people being killed COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER had they managed to get out of the Hellhole that is Westerberg. That's why JD is the villain, he's killing these people. These deaths are all tragedies, what Flemming does with the press these deaths are getting is a tragedy, it's all tragic.

Except for JD's death. In the original movie, his death is the only one that isn't like... actively mourned or treated as a bad thing. And like, yeah all the shit he was doing was WAY FUCKING WORSE then what anyone else who died did, but Idk. In that context, JD is an Objectively Bad Person with No Potential For Change who Dies Because He Deserves It, which just kinda feels... out of place to me? I guess? Like, I might be misreading smthn here Idk, there might be a metaphor I'm missing or real world context I'm not taking into account, but with the way I interpreted at least this portion of the themes(that everybody has the ability to grow past their shit and become better, and the death someone who did something bad is still tragic because of that lost potential), I just don't think it really fits.

And that's exactly why I prefer the musical version! In the musical, JD dying is treated the same way everyone else dying is; a tragedy. It's still the consequences of his own actions, like he was literally blown up by the same bomb he tried to use on the entire school oh my god, but it also acknowledges that maybe the fact that his life turned out this way is sad. That him ending up here, through a mix of a shitty upbringing and even shittier decisions, is a tragic thing. He had the potential to be a good person, and we see that through him making A Singular Good Choice in sacrificing himself to save Veronica, but he'll never get to fully realize that potential because of all the Murders and also the Attempted Bombing. Horrible people are still people, and feeling empathy for them even if they don't ever actually get better isn't a bad thing. I would argue that it's actually a good thing! Understanding why someone would Do All That helps you check yourself before you do something similar.

Now, does this mean I think it was executed perfectly? Eeehhhhh... Idk. I haven't watched the musical in awhile and the only version I've seen in full is the fuckin. Roku proshot. So I can't give an in depth, scene by scene breakdown of JD's actions and wether or not I think he's written consistently or whatever. All I know is that, from a thematic standpoint, making JD more sympathetic works really well. I think them changing up his motivations is kinda weird I guess? Like, he kinda flip flopped between his "sOcIeTy" bullshit from the original movie and genuinely wanting the best for Veronica a bit, but even then that can kinda be explained by him just being severely mentally unstable so AGAIN I just can't really say without rewatching the musical, which I cAN'T FUCKIN DO CUZ I CAN'T FIND A GOOD BOOTLEG RAH- but uh yeah. Going off of my memory, I don't think they ever teetered far enough into outright apologism to ruin the way JD is written, especially because the musical ends before we get to fully see Veronica deal with the emotional aftermath. I think that, while her lines in I Am Damaged could be read as her forgiving him(which for the record would be a bad writing choice), I think it's just as easy to read them as her. Not wanting the man she genuinely loved to literally explode right in front of her. Because that is a very upsetting thing to witness even IF you guys broke up for very valid reasons. So yeah, no, from what I remember I think JD was written perfectly fine in the musical, even if he's pretty different from his original counterpart.

But yeah! That's why I like musical JD being redeemable. I think it works well thematically, and from what I remember it was written pretty solidly. Ofc I still think the original version works well for the story he's in! I actually watched the original movie for the first time the other day, which is why I wanted to talk about this, and I think original JD is a good character too. His death scene is iconic, and so is Christian Slater's performance. Movie JD is an irredeemable little shit to the bitter end, and while I still don't think that fully meshes with how the rest of the characters in the movie were treated, it still makes him really fun to watch! I think both original JD and musical JD have their places, and the differences between them make sense because of the tonal differences in the adaptations they're from. Okay that's it I rlly need to go to sleep now-

[billveusay]

I watched Gundam Thunderbolt and...

That sure is a weird one, but I like it! Season 1 and season 2 (or in my case December Sky and Bandit Flower) are very different beasts, so I'll mainly cover season 1 first and then talk about what's different and new in season 2. Let's jump in.

For one thing, it almost feels like the two opposing protagonists live in different genres, which I guess could be part of the intention since they're associated with different genres of music. On one side there's Io Flemming, a.k.a Cowboy Bebop but edgy, killing soldiers by the dozen, wiggling his bum at their comrades via webcam and getting free gundams handed to him, all to the tune of funky jazz. And on the other... hand (oops) you have Daryl progressively losing all of his friends and his limbs, with sad flashbacks to his childhood, running on the beach and holding his father's hand. And the weirdest thing is that somehow, it kind of works, and gives the show a unique identity, especially in the UC where things tend to be pretty derivative. Though it's not canon to the UC, which is probably for the best.

Actually, it's more like no one is having a good day on either sides, while Io is having a ball. And while he's meant to represent someone who only lives to kill, mirroring Daryl literally losing parts of himself until just a soldier remains... the fact that he's enjoying it so much is a bit counter productive to the message. But they compensate by making probably the most viscerally harrowing Gundam show I've seen. Between the amputations, the commander lady taking drugs, the kid rookies sent to their death en masse and everyone going crazy at the end, permanently for Daryl's missus, it's heavy stuff. Though it did have an aftertaste of... revelling a bit in the horror and violence? It's may just be because the art style reminded me of Hellsing Ultimate, and being edgy and violent is its whole schtick.

Still, season/movie 1 was a hard watch. And the ending scene where Daryl gazes at his prosthesis and realizes what he has lost was a big downer. But because they added a bunch of gundams to the battle of A Baoa Qu, I cheered myself up by imagining Char fighting Amuro in the Zeong, seeing three more gundams pass him by and going "what the fuuuuuuuuuck?". Still makes no sense in the greater continuity but hey, it's better than having something entirely redundant and derivative like many of the stuff in the UC, so let them have their fun.

Now for season/movie 2. It's... much more tame in the harrowing department, which I don't know how to feel about it. It definitely loses some of its uniqueness and bite, but after the aforementioned big downer it was nice to see Daryl enjoying a break at the beach. And even if it becomes more of a typical Gundam side-story, it's a competently made one. I may have to go back on this statement when it's over since it's in the TBC stage, but I enjoyed what was there.

The action scenes were really cool, and the vitriolic dynamic of "We love each other, but also we spend all of our time bickering and playfully insulting each other" that Io and Bianca is very fun. And while we're bringing in the Neeeeeewtyyyypes again, they don't seem to be making a point about the future of humanity, souls, gravity, etc so that's nice for me. Making a villain a Newtype who uses his powers to create a cult is a cool idea, and something we've not really seen yet. However, there are still some tonal dissonances here and there, cause there's a heart-wrenching scene of a Zeon soldier getting drunk in his submarine cabin because he just learned that his wife and 6 months old baby were just killed. And then it cuts to feddie soldiers daring each other to get branded on the bum.

Now a few details before moving on to animation and designs.

I liked the snowfield fight a lot, and I liked the part where the Gundam almost sinks and gets crushed by the pressure, but the way they establish it with the mobile armour getting past an arbitrary depth and getting instantly compressed into a perfect ball was unintentionally very funny. I'm 97% sure that's not how it works. Though Io was lucky it wasn't Shiro Amada piloting that thing when it turned into a ball, or he'd have been cooked, heh heh heh.

Another very small detail that I found funny was the Zeon radio. Yeah, I also have many products from the brand "France". Or since Zeon is named after Zeon Deikun... the brand "Charles de Gaulle" I guess.

And I gotta mention the soundtrack. Obviously, it's an absolute jam (My fave is Groovy Duel, the duet that Io and Bianca play).

Now for the visuals. Animation quality is superb, and i feel like there are some touches to give it an old school, cell-painted look, which I like. As mentioned, the art style on the faces reminded me of Hellsing a tad, and it's not one I'm a big fan of but it doesn't bother me either. The fights are beautiful and extremely dynamic, to the point where I thought they used 3D models when I saw gifs from the show.

However, in the first movie, it sometimes gets hard to read. Two dark and cluttered mobile suits fighting in a dark and cluttered environment is not a win. On that note, between this and the Unicorn FA, Full Armor apparently means "Forget About readable silhouettes or shapes, visual balance and identity, just pile a load of shit and weapons onto that Gundam". They're some of my least favourite Gundam designs, though they remain miles above the Xi and Penelope gundams. And the psycho Zaku suffers from some of the same problems.

As for the Atlas Gundam... I have mixed feelings. I really like the colour-scheme and the detailing, I kinda like the multi-purpose rocket-skis, but there's something stiff and awkward about its silhouette and general anatomy. Too many parallel lines probably.

That about wraps it up. Next, we're going back to hot take land with one I found not very good but endearingly dumb: The Origin. See ya!

My gundam reviews :

> Hathaway's Spark > Mobile Suit Gundam > Gundam Zeta > 0083: Stardust Memory > 0080: War in the Pocket > 8th MS Team > The Witch from Mercury > Gundam Thunderbolt > The Origin > Turn A Gundam > F91 > Gundam Unicorn > Gundam 00 > MS IGLOO > Gundam Narrative > Iron-Blooded Orphans > Gundam Wing

[thearcanecat]

Working cast list for tlt Hatchetfield AU.

2nd: Colonel Wiley Cross and General Jonathan “John” MacNamara - Wilbur Cross and John MacNamara

3rd: Princess Stephanie “Steph” Lauter and Seneschal Margaret Tessburger

4th: Baron Hannah Foster, Sir Alexandra “Lex” Foster and Sir Ethan Green

5th: Lady Alice Woodward and Lord William “Bill” Woodward

6th: Master Warden Ruth Flemming and Warden’s Hands Richard “Richie” Lipschitz, Peter “Pete” Spankoffski

7th: Duke Thomas “Tom” Houston and Knight Rebecca “Becky” Barnes (Jane in Becky’s body)

8th: Sister Grace Chasity and Brother Maxwell “Max” Jagerman

9th: Reverend Douglas “Duke” Keane and Holloway

1st House - Lyctors

Wiggly and Webby

2nd: Wilbur Cross and John MacNamara

3rd: Nibbly and a past Honey Queen

4th: Pokey and founder of starlight

5th: Blinky and a past Woodward

6th: Tinky and a Spankoffski

7th: Metzger ancestor

8th: Sheila Young and her husband

9th: Willabella Muckwab and someone (husband/father of her child? Sibling/relative? Metzger?)

Holloweane focuses because I love them. Holly is kinda Wake. Ended up in the 9th trying to break into the tomb and unleash Webby who would be the key to toppling Wiggly’s reign. The baby is Hannah but she ends up in the 4th somehow. Some big fire happened as a result of her failed mission killing a lot of the adult population of the 9th. Only youngest children and oldest are left alive. So more people than in gtn but they are not doing great. 15 years have passed before the letter comes. Duke wants to go to gain more resources for his house (I think Holloway would’ve talked him out of asking for help by insulating he might be blamed for the disaster or something. She was not loyal to him when they first met she just used him to not die on a random planet on enemy territory. But they like each other by the time the story starts but Holly is still sneaky and not telling him everything. They can have a pool scene later though where she tells him everything.) Holloway is very skeptical of it but also really wants to leave the 9 houses and this is the only chance she’s had in 15 years.

BoE name for Holloway: Hallowed Be Thy Name Alight to Parts Unknown 君まつや又凩の雨になる Let’s Not Disappear Like a Firework

Hallowed by they name - The Lord’s Prayer

Alight to parts unknown - Run away with me

君まつや又凩の雨になる - kimi matsu ya mata kogarashi no ame ni na ru - Are you still waiting? Once more penetrating blasts turn into cold air - Shiki (I wanted another language in there so I looked for haikus that seems appropriate. My Japanese is not good enough to know where to cut this in half so you get the whole thing.)

Let's not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine... forever. - Tite Kubo (just looked up quotes about fireworks until I found one I liked.)

Wiley is Cytherea. But Wiggly knows about it and sent him. Kinda G1deon in htn. Add tension and force people into lyctorhood and kill those who aren’t up for the task. John’s his cav so either he just had that corpse lying around or I might change whose he brings to Waylon Hall (Canaan House). Alt ideas: Xander, Schaffer, Infected Paul. Wait. Actually made inevitable could be fun. I might make it Paul.

Steph hates Tessburger but her dad assigned her cav. Tessburger dies at some point and Pete becomes her cavalier. Steph live with boe. Tessburger dies.

Hannah is the much more powerful necromancer but not actually related by blood to the line so her house has marketed her as a pair with Lex. Her being adopted is a well kept secret. Lex and Ethan are very protective of her but can be overbearing when she wants to explore. Survive and main group in ntn equilvent.

The heir used to be Bill’s wife but then she got promoted to actually in charge. She divorced Bill to get a new cavalier, which caused quite a stir. So now Bill’s with Alice and he’s trying to be happy with his lot, he loves his daughter, but also hates the situation that got him here and has a lot of resentment for his ex-wife. Alice is not happy her dad is her cavalier because she wanted Deb. Die. Well maybe one of them can live.

Ruth is the necromancer because she deserves to be the center of attention for once. However she require two cavaliers to keep her in check. On previous diplomatic missions people rejected this and were quickly humbled by how much chaos she can cause when not reigned in. So she’s allowed to break tradition. Richie ends up as her main cav and Pete goes off with Steph later. Survive with boe.

Tom is having a bad time. Idk exactly what happened yet but Becky was his cav and Jane died at some point and was probably a recent for a long time which messed with her brain so she got super jealous of them and basically Jane’s a car happened. Relatively recent development and Tom is very uncomfortable with the whole situation but has no idea what to do about it besides listen to whatever Jane wants. They probably die.

Grace gets to be the 8th because it’s perfect. Most of the other house assignments were more iffy though there are reasons behind them. But she had to be 8th. Max as her cav and she hates it. But also likes it. Max is very much like Gideon and Grace is very Harrow. If I was not so Holloweane obsessed they would probably be the main pair for this. Grace ascends to lyctorhood.

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

Echoes of Memory by Sara Driscoll

This one took me back to patients I cared for when once a nurse working in neurosurgical intensive care and later in a skilled nursing facility for mentally alert neurologically impaired patients…loved reading about someone with the strength to pursue a better life than some in my care managed to have.

What I liked:

* Quinn Flemming: survivor, dealing with TBI and residual amnesia, witness to a murder, brilliant coping skills, mad art skills, florist, driven, intriguing character that I really liked

* Detective Nura Reyes: dedicated, capable, intelligent, protective, methodical, team player, believed in and was there for Quinn, someone I would like on my side

* Will Dawsey: medical professional, certified brain injury specialist, runs support groups for TBI survivors, supportive, kind, intelligent, sharing, possible love interest for Quinn

* Some of the supporting characters: Detective Felip Cerveló, Jacinta, and Vivian

* The police procedural aspects of the story

* Quinn’s artistic abilities and how they played into providing clues

* That I was drawn in, felt part of the story, and cared about the outcome

* The plot, pacing, setting, and writing

* The new information I learned about traumatic brain injuries and thinking about what goes into living with them

* That all the threads were tied up by the end of the story

* Wondering what will happen in the future

What I didn’t like:

* Who and what I was meant not to like

* The evil some are willing to do and the impact it has on others

Did I like this book? Yes

Would I read more by this author? Definitely

Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Books for the ARC – This is my honest review.

5 Stars

BLURB

A thrilling standalone mystery featuring a San Diego florist grappling with post-traumatic amnesia. The only witness to a murder she can’t remember, her handwritten notes and razor-sharp wits are all she has to solve the crime – and save her life. After surviving a terrible attack, Quinn Fleming has recovered in every way but one—her ability to retain new memories. Now, months later, it appears to the outside world as if the San Diego florist’s life is back to normal. But Quinn is barely holding on, relying on a notebook she carries with her at all times, a record of her entire existence since the assault. So when she witnesses a murder in the shadowy alley behind the florist shop, Quinn immediately writes down every terrifying detail of the incident before her amnesia wipes it away. By the time the police arrive, there’s no body, no crime scene, and no clues. The killing seems as erased from reality as it is from Quinn’s mind . . . until the flashbacks begin. Suddenly, fragments of memories are surfacing—mere glimpses of that horrible night, but enough to convince Quinn that somewhere, locked in her subconscious, is the key to solving the case . . . and she’s not the only one who knows. Somebody else has realized Quinn is a threat that needs to be eliminated. Now, with her life on the line and only her notes to guide her, Quinn sets out to find a killer she doesn’t remember, but can’t forget . . . Sara Driscoll is the pen name of Jen J. Danna, coauthor of the Abbott and Lowell Forensic Mysteries and author of the NYPD Negotiators. After over thirty years in infectious diseases research, Jen hung up her lab coat to concentrate on her real love—writing “exceptional” thrillers (Publishers Weekly). She is a member of the Crime Writers of Canada and lives with her husband and four rescued cats outside of Toronto, Ontario. You can follow the latest news on her books, including the FBI K-9s, at Saradriscollauthor.com.

[juniperhillpatient]

I went through the movie and musical to get a consistent timeline for each because I know the musical changed some things around (they switched when martha's and heather m's suicides take place for one) and I think some things in the movie were put out of order (for instance, when kurt and ram die the girl approaches heather d & m in the parkin lot to say school's canceled. the next scene has flem sayin they were in a similar position on monday, and the principal saying they're going to write off that day and then on friday ms.flem can hold her thing in the caf.) it's implied the funerals are very quick to happen because after chandler dies (on saturday) veronica's parents are like "how's the first day [of school] after heather's suicide like?" and at the end of the scene veronica's like "i gotta motor if i want to be ready for that funeral" she's still wearing the same clothes she was at school and also when she meets big bud dean. later after killing kurt and ram in the car she asks jd if they can "make an ice run before the funeral" for her hand.

the only thing i couldn't place is when jd goes to blackmail duke after veronica breaks up with him. either a monday or tuesday. because the pep rally is clearly stated on friday, which means mac's attempt and veronica's fake suicide was on thursday, and martha's attempt was on wednesday. wednesday is also when veronica invited betty to play croquet with her. the part where duke surprises veronica at chandler's locker takes place the same day as when jd gives her the red scrunchie because she's wearing the same pink turtleneck. just don't know when that is. the week before, on the friday was when veronica broke up with jd because that was the same day of fleming's assembly, and veronica's like "that thing this afternoon!"

the musical though? i can't place the entirety of the second act. if we're following the movie, me inside of me leaps from saturday the 23rd to monday the 25th, veronica meets big bud that same day, goes on that double-date with kurt ram and the heathers that same night, gets slut-shamed the next day on tuesday the 26th, and kurt and ram are dead wednesday morning on the 27th. end of act one. we're definitely in october after that but no idea how far and that fucks me up immensely lol. the timeline that one user wrote is inaccurate because it treats the "30 hours to live" part literally, not to mention when veronica's mom asks if they have big plans "tonight" veronica mentions the party at ram's. so. it's not a "plot hole" that they go from sunday back to saturday, act one was very linear. it's act two where everything goes off the rails.

(the things i do to write a fucking fanfic though,,, help!!)

also did your school have pep rallies? ours held them at the end of the day, iirc classes were shorter to accommodate because they were mandatory and took place at the very last hour before it let out. ngl i just skipped them lmfao. in the movie after veronica fake-hangs herself it cuts to everyone arriving to school. but by the time the movie ends it seems to be the end of the day so i'm not exactly sure how the hell that works either.

Oh wow I’m so impressed that you went through & created a whole timeline! I love it!

No I always low key thought pep rallies might just be a movie & tv show thing tbh 🤣 But I guess you had them! And they were mandatory? So weird.

Anyway thank you for putting this all together, this was an impressive amount of research!

[hellsbellschime]

Let’s go down the list shall we:

Katherine: gets impregnated with child out of wedlock, child torn away from her right after birth. Her entire sympathy arc is based on a child she didn’t even connect with.

Rebekah: Believes her trashy life will all be fixed with a hello kitty bandaid if she just had Kids and a Hubby, (when all she needs to do is get away from her toxic brothers and experience life on her own)

Isobel Flemming: Teen mom ™ who regrets child but loves child who wants child but doesn’t want child, who looses child because the guy is a coward, leads person who clearly wants to use/kill child to said child, then turns around and says I love child. (It’s like they couldn’t stick to a single villain arc because how could a mother possibly not care about her child when even the shitty dad does all the while having eight different dad hates child story lines sitting in the back burner.)

Valerie Tulle: gets pregnant with Stefan’s child and has child LITERALLY beaten out of her, has child PHYSICALLY beaten to death inside her, is pushed to the fucking ground and kicked in the stomach till child dies, commits suicide because of loss of child, is not even given the dignity to choose her own death, comes back as first Heretic to exist, all of this to push plot and create dRaMa b/w steroline. Yes they actually used a women who was violently beaten to near death and experienced an even more violent miscarriage at the hands of a guy who believed the child will make him late for a bone sesh, revolve around steroline and how Stefan wouldn’t love Caroline if he just had that child, THERES HALF A EPISODE JUST DEPICTING STEFAN’S MANPAIN ON LOOSING A COULD BE CHILD, when Valerie literally acts like a mechanical robot reiterating facts and her entire emotional “reaction” so to speak is her committing suicide AND NOTHING ELSE (as if they couldn’t be bothered to write female trauma) Like JFC you CANNOT TELL ME THIS IS DISGUSTING FUCKING SHIT THAT SHOULD NOT EXIST.

Jo Saltzman: Looses twin foetus children on her wedding day, is literally killed by her abusive psychotic brother on the fucking alter, to cover up Candice’s pregnancy, JESUS, HOW DID A PERSON WHO IS NOT UNHINGED IN THE BRAIN SIT DOWN AND COME UP WITH THIS, and not for one second think how fucking traumatising ALL of this is FOR NO GOOD REASON. Not even good plot, this was all for logistics they could’ve fucking covered up in a hundred other different ways.

Caroline Forbes: Do we even have to mention it? Is forced to endure pregnancy she has NO obligation to endure, is not even given a single scene to process the pregnancy and come up with a coherent response that isn’t “I will do it for you” forces herself to marry a man who is as old as her dad in human years for said children, said man turns around and tells her she is not these children’s mother to her face when she was literally FORCED into giving birth to two children that aren’t even her own. Looses all character development and becomes Mother of child ™.

Hayley Marshall: Nah bro I shouldn’t have to TELL you, but ok, gets pregnant with an abusive psychopath’s child, ykw the list is too long, y’all know the drill choked when wanting abortion, experiences atleast 7 near death experiences in the nine months she was pregnant all because Klaus wanted to play King to three streets and one marsh, and she was KWEEN of the werewolves, has the most violent birthing experience, her child revolves around Klaus’ redemption, hence her character fully revolves around said child and directly/indirectly Klaus, is turned into a fucking animal when she decided to do one damn thing for her own child, is nothing more than “Mother of Hope” throughout the show.

Freya Mikaelson: Of ALL the different things a women in literal captivity FOR HER ENTIRE LIFE can experience for backstory Trauma™ OF EVERYTHING they could choose, they yet again go for traumatic pregnancy, a self-induced miscarriage and a SUICIDE story revolving around said pregnancy, her selling point to the Mikaelsons is “I lost a child I won’t let you lose yours.” LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Forget misogynistic writing that’s just paper-thin-rumpled-trash-in-trash-can writing.

Esther Mikaelson: Chooses to give up her first born child for the prospect of multiple children, in Lenore’s body actually bloody tells Hayley she can have more babies if Hayley allows her to make Hayley Human, Hayley CONSIDERS THIS SERIOUSLY. Is actually shown to want to become human so she can have more babies.

Sarah Salvatore: Black woman who is KILLED by Damon to give manpain TO DAMON, like bruh wtf?? You seriously had Damon kill a pregnant black woman and give him manpain in the form of guilt to redeem him? YOU MADE A WOMAN’S MURDER ABOUT HER MURDERER’S GUILT?? JP and her team of writers cannot get more fucked up than this

Feel free to add to this, and if any fucker ever dare come to your page trying to fight that tvd/to is not MISOGYNISTIC in its ENTIRETY, you send them to this post, and this post only contains pregnancy related batshit crazy misogyny in the show, if we went through everything that is misogynistic, I’d say the transcript of the show is an entire comprehensive list of all of it. And seriously anybody who believes JP’s writing isn’t the most misogynistic sexist piece of writing that’s just a steaming hot pile of rotten shit, Well then I sincerely suggest you fuck off to some other corner of the world where TO/TVD stans can gather and lick white manpain experiencing male dick.

Sincerely someone who has watched TO/TVD top to bottom and is traumatised.

LOL yes exactly, like I don’t understand how someone could see this and say that it’s not so soaked in misogyny that nothing in the show can be separated from the violent sexism. Saying “well this character stood there in one scene and didn’t say anything sexist so you can’t call the entire thing sexist and if you do then you’re basically doing the same thing as calling all men sexist” (and like I don’t want that anon to start that argument again but LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ANALOGY) is an absurd, fatuous argument. 

[forgenotes-archived]

okay nevermind i’m doing the parent meta now !

OKAY ! S O ! i’m focusing this in three sections :  1- the matching pair of patio dinner scenes, 2- the “patronize bunny rabbits” scene, and 3- the two convos they have when they confront her about jd’s suicide bait and after barbara finds veronica faux-hanging in her room. i’m also putting it under a read-more bc like. it’s going to be A Fucking Doozy.

in this essay, i will - 

PART ONE -  PATIO SCENES . 

this one is more set-up to portray how shallow their arguments are in the second section? but it’s still important for me to get across how. absolutely DISGUSTING it is that they treat heather’s funeral with the same tone and cadence as the remington party. it logically makes sense that veronica would be more blase about it, seeing as she Actually Did It, but like. one of the stages of grief is denial. 

the beats of both conversations go: come sit down! how was the first day since break/heather’s death go? meet any cute boys? why do i read these books or smoke these cigars/because you’re an idiot/ oh, you too. gotta motor to party/funeral. completely identical tone and delivery, all the way down to mirroring the word choices in each scene. and it’s entirely intentional!! this is a tonal and thematic choice to further hammer home the fact that adults do not care about what happens in the lives of the youth, which is arguably the real villain of the film- complete and utter apathy. i could go on about that shit for ages but i will do that later lmao-

but like. as parents. first of all, you shouldn’t care so little about your child that somebody could predict exactly what you’re going to say before you say it, that you work off a script, even WITHOUT a massive traumatic event happening to them. they clearly acknowledge heather’s death, they just move past it completely dismissively. it’s disgusting and it clearly sets up that they don’t actually see her as a person, in all reality- her death is just a marker of the time, not the loss of someone important to their child. they don’t know the intricacies of their toxic friendship, so all they know is their daughter’s best friend killed herself. that is NOT the correct reaction to that situation. 

this further exemplifies the idea, for me at least, that their main objective is to keep up appearances rather than build a strong, stable, healthy human being in their care. as long as everything looks alright, sounds alright, it is alright for all intents and purposes. there is no WAY that conversation does not REEK of neglect. 

PART TWO -  PATRONIZING BUNNY RABBITS .

this is mostly barbara, but henry shows his blatant idiocy for a brief moment, too. the biggest part of this scene is barbara’s “little miss voice-of-a-generation, you ARE being treated like human beings” spiel, specifically because she’s not right at all when she says it. or half-right. it’s complicated.

she’s right when she says it’s not just a game of “doubles tennis” and that adults can be horrible to each other too- that’s like. objectively fact. but that’s a non sequitur argument and not at all relevant to the topic at hand, in all reality; because in saying that, barbara has likened people being assholes at work or talking behind each other’s back with EXPLOITING CHILDREN’S SUICIDES FOR FAME. barbara changes the argument in order to make veronica look irrational- what she wants is for people to be fucking NICE to each other, which isn’t an un-noble goal to have. 

veronica wants people to give everyone decent respect, and she’s learned that isn’t possible in the way things are at the moment. she’s frustrated, she’s angry, she’s dealing with guilt and fear? she’s dealing with a fuckton! and she’s mad that flemming is exploiting the death of a student (never mind her personal feelings involved with chandler, she still knows this is wrong) for television crews and ribbons. she sees that flemming ALSO doesn’t care about her students other than for appearances. she’s seeing similarities between all the adults in her life, and she’s finally ready to snap. 

barbara saying “when teenagers are mad about not being treated like human beings, that’s usually because they are being treated like one” (or whatever the exact quote is) basically solidifies the fact that there will be no change in the way people are going to act in these situations. they are not listening to veronica’s point of view here, and they are changing the scope of the argument to make her look unreasonable to dismiss her again, and they explicitly say, a la bethesda, “we aren’t planning on doing anything about it”. 

it’s an important discussion because barbara isn’t. entirely incorrect! she’s just brute-forced the argument into a different direction so that veronica can’t be correct anymore, either. 

also- note that she offers veronica pate at the end of it; she’s trying to return to the status quo, to proper appearances. sneaky bitch. 

PART THREE -  YOU’RE SUICIDAL .

this is. where they come out of their shells a little bit more, as parents, but i’m not entirely positive it’s for the right reasons. 

they are actually concerned, now that death is on their doorstep; however, it very clearly seems like showing this kind of care and emotion is foreign or new in their relationship. instead of sitting her down and asking her how she’s feeling, if she’s dealing with all of this okay, if there’s anything they can do to help- they start rambling off the instructions jd, a literal teenager, more than half their ages, gave them. they have NO idea how to deal with this situation, which is. partially understandable? there is no prenatal parenting class that teaches you how to navigate if your kid grows up to be suicidal, but. there’s obvious things that you can do that they just flat out did not.

they didn’t even notice she’d left the room! they were so wrapped up in their own chaotic “keep away from sharp things, toxins, high ledges, etc.” that she just. left the room. and they didn’t notice she was gone until she was already in her room! 

rather than saying this is evidence towards the fact that they don’t care about their daughter (which i don’t actually believe, for this part at least), it feels more like proof that they have never cared about her in this particular fashion- which is, to say, genuinely. having an emotional and caring connection is new, and they don’t know how to do it; which points towards them never having done it before in ronnie’s 18 years of life. which is severely damaging to a child turned young adult. 

later on, when barbara finds her hanging from the fake noose, i’d like to just. take a look at what she says-

“i should’ve let you get that job at the mall, i was just worried about you coming home late-” 

what. in the ENTIRE fuck. was that?

her ONLY THOUGHT when confronted with the DEAD BODY of her ONLY CHILD is that the ONLY THING ronnie could have been upset about, or the only thing she could’ve changed in her treatment towards her daughter, was getting a summer job. i know this line is supposed to be a joke (heathers is a black comedy, after all), but jesus fucking christ, barbara. get a grip. veronica has all but told them what’s been bothering her, up to and including the death of her best friend and the subsequent treatment of it (albeit not in a particularly forward or constructive manner, but can you blame her? seeing who raised her?), but barbara is the sort of person that would give a eulogy that said “i never could have imagined she would have done this. she seemed so happy! if only she’d asked for help... if only she’d reached out to us... we would have SAVED her...” while ignoring all the warning signs. 

CONCLUSION -  IE , I RAMBLE FOR A BIT .

in canon specifically, there’s no way that there’s a healthy relationship between veronica and her parents. they care more about LOOKING happy than BEING happy and that’s a huge problem in a lot of parent-child relationships, especially at the time this movie was made. not only that, but like. they don’t believe there’s anything WRONG with the way they are, and that’s most likely the most damaging thing about the dynamic. barbara and henry sawyer are neglectful, dismissive, unempathetic, mostly uncaring, and obsessed with their outward appearance; but they don’t think that’s a bad thing, and that has massively fucked up veronica’s mental health in a VARIETY of ways. i’ll talk about the effects on her at a later date, bc this shit is already over 1k words and my brain has now turned into super mario sunshine goo. 

[slamsams-blog]

Thunderball - #24WeeksofBond

This week we are treated to the 1965 film “Thunderball” with Sean Connery.  This movie has always been one of my favorites, mostly because of all the beautiful under water scenes and action.  The final underwater battle for atomic bomb supremacy is one of my favorite, if not thee favorite, ending sequences of any Bond movie.  But on top of all the visual stimulation there is a well thought out plot perfectly executed by the direction of Terence Young.  The downside to this movie and the Bond series in the long run is the producer, Kevin McClory...we’ll get to him later.  

This would be Connery’s fourth outing and the last of his greats before he starts phoning it in.  There is just so much to love and enjoy with Thunderball starting with the pre-title sequence.  Thunderball opens up at a supposed funeral of a man who was working for Spectre and Bond appears to have his doubts.  He goes to follow the widow to her place only for Bond to squarely knock the crap out of her...revealing it to be the man who was supposedly dead.  This gave me a good chuckle, seeing Bond going to give his condolences to a grieving widow and then just punching her face.

If that wasn’t enough, he escapes by jet pack...JET PACK.  How very entertaining already, and the journey has only just begun...CUE TOM JONES, MF!  

Well, after a rather obnoxious performance by Tom Jones the film begins with Bond off getting rehab after his last mission. Little did Bond, or Blofeld know, that he was going to find himself on a another mission.  Bond smells something fishy is going on and starts doing some digging off the clock. The plan is to steal a couple atomic bombs and hold England for a 100 million pound ransom, threatening to destroy a city in England or the USA if they don’t cooperate.  Bond gets the files for the mission but sees photos of faces he saw while getting rehab including one of them who Bond found dead.  So Bond already has a lead in this time sensitive mission, so Bond is on his way.

By this time Blofeld and Spectre are not good friends of Bond.  He’s already ruined a few of their operations so it’s funny to me that Blofeld keeps coming up with these elaborate schemes instead of putting all his best men on a mission to just get rid of Bond.  Largo (Adolfo Celi) is the man heading the operation and quickly comes to realize that Bond is going to be a nasty thorn in his side.

While Thunderball has so much going for it in terms of story and action, the cast of characters are a bit sleepy.  Domino (Claudine Auger), whom I just learned had her voice dubbed over by a Voice Actor, pulls in a rather forgettable performance.  Largo has a cool look with jet white hair and an unexplained eye patch...but even that doesn’t really save him or make him that memorable.  No cool henchmen either, except for the crazy Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi) who likes to drive 110 miles an hour through narrow windy streets in the woods.  Those deer better watch it.

As Bond works to uncover the truth and put the puzzle pieces together we see him being followed by a mysterious man with sunglasses....he evetunally gets to Bonds hotel door...Bond opens the door AND.....(suspense) IT’S FELIX!  Ah they got us again!  Good ole Felix from the CIA is here to help with the mission, and to get Bond of out what ever type of Jam Bond has found himself in.

After an escape through a madri-gras parade, a run in with a couple sharks, and some hand grenades, Bond has finally, and quite literally, uncovered the answer to where the bombs are and can now pursue the nasty Largo to foil his plot.  This all leads up to a most wonderfully shot action sequence between the good guys and the bad guys under the sea.  Carrying harpoons and welding knives to cut the oxygen tube of your enemy as the key strategy to victory, we see an absolute war in the water.  We also see shots of all the beautiful sea creators who are like “WTF?”.  I just can’t imagine the skill it took to film the whole thing.  With the intense score backing it up, I’d be hard pressed to point you into the direction of a better fight scene in the Bond series.

This leads to the big fight between Bond and Largo on his runaway ship. The green screen work here is just laughable.  The boat, from the inside, appears to be going 1,032,231,318 miles an hour and somehow they are still able steer it away from the rocks that are 5 feet in front of them.  After the evil Largo has been killed by Domino, the final scene is Bond and Domino getting whisked away by a plane catching a string that is attached to Bond.  They make this look romantic, but in actuality, they get hauled away so fast that I would be crapping my pants.  It made me laugh anyways.

I do also wish we got one last reaction from Blofeld finding out his plans got spoiled once again.  This movie lacks a touch of closure at the end.  Largo dies and they get whisked away without seeing MI6 relived of the mission being a success or Blofeld pissed and angrily changing his cat’s litter box.

Thunderball, while plentiful of shortcomings, is stimulating to the senses and takes you on an epic journey - but this script would come back to haunt Eon Productions years later.  Kevin McClory had worked on multiple screen adaptions with Ian Flemming and got partial credit for this screenplay.  McClory had eventually been given the rights to the script and would go on later to make a Bond film of his own with the same script.  It was called “Never Say Never Again”.  12 years after Connery had said good bye to the role, would come back to play the part again...only as a grandpa.  

Never Say Never Again is an abomination and is not an official entrant into the series, so no, I will NOT be watching that garbage...if you want to on your own time, be my guest, but it’s just a bad movie.  McClory would go on to have multiple lawsuits against the Bond producers, even trying to remake the same movie again in the late 80′s and trying to recruit Brosnan for it.  But it fell through...thank the lord.

All that nonsense being said, I still love Thunderball, and is one of the highlights of the Connery series.  I hope you liked it too!  Let me know what you thought!

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom:

Boy Sean Connery was really in his glory days here wasn’t he? So young and handsome. You could always identify him in a crowd under helmets and googles by those puppy eyes. A couple things that were really funny was that silly jet pack at the start. With all our tech stuff now that scene was almost cartoony. The way his body didn’t move and the wind picked up not a whisp of hair or clothing. Then when we got a look at those nuclear bombs. They had the words printed on them. “Treat like Eggs”. Ha. It seems like it’s unique to Connery (from what I’ve seen so far) to punch a woman in the face (seemingly) or use her to shield a bullet. Don’t know if Bronson or Moore or Dalton would do that. It was a Tense under water battle but I loved the ending. It was just simple and fun. No need to string out a big explanation or closure.

Alexandra Hein-Roberts

I find Claudine Auger to be the most iconic Bond girl. She had something most didn’t.

Jake Benrud

So many things taken from this movie for Austin Powers... sharks or Ill tempered mutated sea bass? I enjoyed the movie, and laughed out loud when Sean Connery punched that woman in the face who was really a disguised man. I guess I wasn’t expecting that. Also, whoever SPECTRE employs as a plastic surgeon, I want their name. That was a perfect clone. The SPECTRE agent should have known better to try to extort more money from Largo. That’s never going to end well. The death of Bond’s assistant/field operative kept it a little bit more real. I thought the plot was decent, but I thought the underwater battle was really slow moving for my tastes especially in the beginning. Kind of a cool concept though. Bond was able to swim pretty well for getting shot in the leg. I liked that Domino got the kill in the end. Classic Bond. Great movie despite the sometimes unbelievable parts!

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

A View To A Kill 

[resnullius-bells]

TVD meme (season one): one vampire - Isobel Flemming

“Mulder was right in the end.”

I hesitated (or, more accurately, I wanted to hesitate) between her and a few of the vampires we met this season: I was very interested in seeing how Vicky could navigate vampirism, but then she was killed even earlier than I expected; Katherine appeared very little, but what I saw was already plenty engaging; Stefan’s plot of vampirism=addiction caught my eyes in the last few episodes.

But the truth is that I knew as soon as I saw this meme that the answer would be Isobel. The murder victim. The lost mother. The fridged wife. Except, of course, she’s none of those things.

She wasn’t murdered or fridged (I’m more than aware that she’s probably dead; I think I would’ve heard about her before, otherwise; just let me live in my s1 bubble xD): she became a vampire. And she did it because she wanted to, because she pursued it. And one thing I liked was that it wasn’t because she was terminally ill and afraid of death, like I’ve seen in other cases (that old friend of Buffy’s in “Lie to Me” comes to my mind); it was because she wanted the perks. Which in this canon are plenty (can find a way to walk under the sun? Check. Immortality and eternal youth? Check. Super strength, mind control, and maybe a few other powers? Check. They can even eat normally).

Oh, and one detail I love, is that she came to that plan through academic research. Suddenly all the time spent on my studies seems a lot more productive xD.

She seems to regret her choice and to miss what she lost, which is alright with me. Nostalgia is like that (and at the moment, the show seems to follow Stefan’s perspective of how vampirism -or any other creature- is a curse; the approach in Legacies is veeeery different, so I’m guessing that changed drastically at some point LOL). Which doesn’t stop her from enjoying herself (including the “Evil is Casually Bisexual” scene that left me full of mixed feelings...). But yeah, the next step I want to see in this show are vampires who don’t regret it. 

She’s an objectively terrible mother (and wife, and partner, and and and), too. She cares enough about Elena to want her to have a relatively easy, painless, vampire-free life. But not enough to know her, to be a part of her life, to care about Elena’s feelings and what she might need or want. She lives her life for herself, first, last, and only. And I love that; I love that type of motherly character. They’re refreshing and, to be frank, they give me a sense of relief, as someone that never sees herself taking care of another human being like that.

Isobel is a character that despite appearing in precious few episodes of the season, and likely the show in general, has a notable effect in the story and the key characters in it. I love her determination, her selfishness, her coldness. Nobody else could’ve gone in this slot.

ETA: dreamwidth post.

[ncisfranchise-source]

Franks (Kyle Schmid) just couldn’t let it go.

The latest NCIS: Origins episode sees him continuing to look into who assaulted Tish (Tonantzin Carmelo), even though she’d asked him not to. But he has a lead — the man has a burn scar on his neck and a possible location — and when he admits as much to Tish, she tells him she loves him anyway but can’t be with him anymore. Flashbacks to 1982 show how they met and she began saving him (with a haircut). Plus, the case in present-day 1991 is a rough one for Franks: A vet (Nick Gomez‘s Tom) accidentally killed his friend during a war flashback.

Below, Schmid, who has been delivering standout performances as the show digs into his character, takes us inside this devastating episode for Franks and teases what’s ahead.

This is such a devastating episode for Franks, from the case and how that turned out for Tish. How is he doing at the end of this episode?

Kyle Schmid: Franks is just gutted. I mean, have you ever fallen in love and had to walk away from it just because something — there’s something so truly kind of tragic about how stubborn Franks is in the scenario where he’s unable to walk away from something that is just kind of tearing him apart from the inside. And the fact that Tish needs to take her space, which you can’t help but respect, it’s kind of a little Romeo and Juliet-ish where you have two kind-of star-crossed lovers that have been pulled apart because of this tragedy. Tonantzin Carmelo is great in the episode and always a pleasure to work with. And that scene at the end, it was tough to shoot because it really does kind of hit all the hard spots, you know what I mean?

Sonja Flemming / CBS

And it comes after that tough case for him because he got personally involved in it. So it’s just like one thing on top of another for Franks.

Yeah, I mean, no kidding. Let’s talk about Nick Gomez, the guy who played our vet. What a phenomenal actor and person. And you talk about commitment and character work. Nick was phenomenal and by the end of it, I was like, “Please don’t go, man. Can we just rewrite the end of this? I’d love to work with you for the entirety of the show.” He was just such a pleasure to work with.

Franks hadn’t been able to stop looking for the guy who attacked Tish even after she’d made him promise not to. But could he have, if he’d known this was how it would’ve ended up, just based on who Franks is? I feel like he wouldn’t have been able to let it go, right?

No, there’s no way Franks could let that go. It’s too personal. It’s broken this kind of unspoken bond of trust in humanity. There are certain crimes in the world that I think should be just punishable by death, and that is one of them. And I think that’s where Kyle and Franks share some moral common ground. Violating a woman, whether it be violently or sexually, or any human being is unacceptable. And your love, the love of your life and your partner…

Franks has the mental capacity to deal with the consequences of going after him. He’s been to Vietnam, he’s suffered great loss in his life. He’s taken [a] life. And when you have those tools as a human being and you know that you’re able to compartmentalize and utilize them in order to survive, in order to take retribution, Franks knows that he can shoulder the consequences of his actions if he were to go after the guy. And so, to me, it was always very clear that I was going to be unable to let it go. And God love the Tish character for being so pure and holding on to that sense of humanity that you need to move on with your life, which Franks is obviously unable to do.

It looks like they’re over. But what can you say about what we might see from Franks and Tish going forward? Is she going to be back?

I think there’s still a part of that story that needs to be told for multiple reasons. One of those reasons being that Tonantzin as an actress is just so good, but also in the sense that she’s such a big part of Franks’ life that I hope the writers can have her visit Franks, whether it be in the form of the real world or flashbacks or maybe perhaps the ghost of, the angel on the shoulder, the moral compass for him because she has been that. And I think that was the biggest part of their relationship, that she was the only person that Franks would listen to, up until this specific scenario, where she could guide him and be his compass.

He still has that lead about the scar on the burn scar on the neck, he knows where he is going to look. So is he going to continue to do that? Is he still going back to that laundromat?

Well, she’s left and he hasn’t made any promises to make her stay. So my inkling might be that we might have to find this motherf**ker.

Greg Gayne/CBS

I have to say I love the flashbacks to their first meeting. Talk about filming those and getting into Franks’ mindset for those flashbacks.

Oh my God, the crew was calling me sexy Jesus on set. It was ridiculous. [Laughs] It was so much fun. The producers were so specific with the look of what they wanted. It was a Jim Morrison-esque kind of feeling. Shay Sanford-Fong, who’s our key hair, spent weeks prepping my wig and making sure that it was absolutely perfect. And Jenny [Lin], who’s our key makeup, was in charge of the beard. Those are hours and hours and days of prep to make something look so realistic and so incredible, so huge thank you to them. Because when you look in the mirror and you don’t feel like it’s genuine and it works, it’s not going to work. So when you get to put on those pieces, for me, it’s like my boots and my guns — they just make you like a whole person. And for those pieces, it was really an opportunity to step back.

But also it was fun to play with his voice. We’re going back six, seven years with the flashbacks perhaps, kind of playing in that world where he hasn’t smoked two packs a day for 10 years. Kind of also playing into the cadence of the young Mike’s accent and ear trying to blend the two so we can see the transition naturally occur from what we saw in [Episode] 11. So borrowing some of what Brandon Spink had done [as the younger version] and the vocal work and then knowing where I end up and playing into the middle, there was a lot of fun. Riding a motorcycle again, being on a Harley Davidson felt fantastic. It’d been 10 years since I’d ridden a bike. And it was so much fun to be able to do that.

But also just to be kind of in that hippie world of Mike Franks. We see the gruff, put-together, driven man that he is today in 1991. And then to see what Vietnam did, which very much s**t all over the military who served out there and came home to thankless media and people. When your job is to protect and serve, you are following orders, you are doing your job and you are doing it to the best of your ability to protect the person beside you in the trenches. Every single serviceman who was over there deserves to come home to love and respect, regardless of the politics of the war. And I think we touch on that really well in this episode. And so going into that flashback, I think you have a writer like [co-showrunners] Gina [Lucita Monreal] and David [J. North], who obviously have fantastic character work. And because we’re on a network show, politics is something that you tread lightly on, but they’ve done it so well in hopes that we can have an audience empathize and truly understand the human being that came back from war. And where you can end up with the right help, which, without Tish, Franks very much most likely would’ve ended up just like Tom. And if only Franks could have gotten to Tom’s character earlier, perhaps we wouldn’t have been in this situation we were in the episode. It’s just powerful. The writing is so powerful. It’s such a gift to be able to bring it to life.

We’re really getting stuff about Franks between the midseason premiere and this and the stuff with his brother. I have so many questions about his brother. Is there anything else coming up there? 

I want to know, too. I want to know, too. I have that line in the opening scene, I’m under the glass table and she goes, “Your brother’s calling.” And I go, “I don’t have a brother.” And I’m like, “Guys, what do you mean, I don’t have a brother? We were just introduced to my brother,” and I didn’t get an answer. So I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know. I have theories, and the fun part about the fan world is we all get to kind of speculate together. And this is the first show I’ve ever been on where — I’ve been part of some really wonderful productions and gritty stuff. I’ve always been too close to the material that I’ve been unable to watch it. I think with Origins, I play such a big character that is so unlike myself that I’m able to separate one from the other. And so I truly enjoy watching the show. I can’t wait to watch and see what the fans say and what the speculation is on what happened in Vietnam, if he never made it back, where he went, what happened between the two. There’s so many variables in that scenario. And I will say the kid who played my older brother in [Episode] 11, Matthew Erick White, that kid’s a star. He’s so good. He’s such a great actor. I can’t wait to see him again. I can’t wait to see what happens with that storyline.

Are there more flashbacks coming?

Buckle your seatbelt for Episode 15. Because there are flashbacks and we get to see this whole thing come full circle. It’s so good. [Episode] 15 is so good. I can’t wait for you to see that one.

[scouts-mockingbird]

Shine a Light

Intro,Beautiful, Candy Store, Fight For Me, Freeze Your Brain, Big Fun Part One, Big Fun Part Two, Dead Girl Walking Part One, Dead Girl Walking Part Two, Dead Girl Walking Part Three, The Me Inside of Me Part One, The Me Inside of Me Part Two, Blue Part One, Blue Part Two, Blue (Reprise), Our Love is God, Dead Gay Son, Seventeen

God I fucking hate this song. It has…. So many things that I hate, all rolled into one little hateful ball that got chewed to a pulp, spread around and dried out so Kevin and Larry could write a song on it.  

So yeah, I really, really dislike this song. Honestly, I hate it so much that part of me is saying “They don’t even need a song here! Get rid of it!” but I’m going to push past that and offer one suggestion that keeps the framework that the current musical offers. 

So, part of the reason I hate this song is the whole “Desperate teacher/counselor is horrible and out of touch and actually just wants to talk about their problems and not be helpful”... thing it has going on. That’s shitty and bad so I want to change it. 

Much like Blue, this song isn’t funny, but I swear Kevin and Larry think that it is? I have no idea. The layers of why it’s not funny just go on and on. Divorced women are miserable? Bad. All adults whose job it is to help children suck at their job and won’t help you? Yep. Adults having sex is weird and gross and embarrassing? That’s in there. Older women who aren’t married and have cats and must be miserable? Of course. Oh Kevin and Larry, thank you for making it so abundantly clear that you don’t just hate teenaged girls; you hate all women. Your poor wives. 

Anyway, as always, the positives. Like DGS, having JD dance in this scene makes me laugh. It’s not a great character decision but it’s funny. Um… it’s…. Loud? That’s good I guess? People in the audience can definitely hear this song? Oh! Roles for older women! Very good, not as common on broadway as it should be.  

Okay, yeah this song is bad. I think even fans of the musical skip this song. 

So let’s make it a song folks won’t skip, shall we? 

My proposal is (surprisingly) to keep this song in Ms. Flemming’s hands. I think it’s a bit interesting, and I think it COULD work as a contrast to JD, who has (in my version) been set up as wanting to change the world they’re living in. Give Ms. Flemming and some of the other students a way of stating their way of making change. 

My idea for this song is a shout out back to the movie, except it kind of combines the JD shoots the TV scene and the cafeteria scene. It’s called “Teenage Suicide: Don’t Do It” 

In my fixing Big Fun post, I described a line where students talk about listening to the Big Fun song from the movie. Later on, it occurred to me that it’s fucking ridiculous it is that, when writing the musical, they didn’t include the ONE SONG that was in the movie. Jesus these fucking amateurs. 

The song features Ms. Flemming awkwardly rewriting the verses of everybody’s favorite songs, during which she inadvertently frames suicide as this popular thing everyone is doing, defeating her point. She tries to bring everyone together and the students reluctantly participate, holding hands and singing. 

Meanwhile, Heather Duke launches into the song, dragging Heather McNamara-- who seems distracted-- into it. She attempts to get Veronica into it, but she pulls away, still angry. Heather is, notably, wearing red. 

Heather McNamara follows the dance clumsily, looking around. At some point, the students are invited to share their feelings, and a couple do, condemning suicide and talking about why they want to keep living, Heather Duke among them. It is clear that she is now the one people are looking to. 

Martha is there, kind of vaguely dancing along, but she doesn’t say anythign, she’s just present, watching what goes down. 

Heather McNamara also gives her speech, mentioning that she is sad, that her parents are getting divorced and that she feels like her friends are all dead or leaving her. Heather Duke laughs at this, making a joke about Heather crying, which everyone joins in on before Fleming, in an attempt to regain control, starts the song back up, finishing it loudly while Heather McNamara leaves. 

This song would be a fun, synth-y pop number to bring the mood back up from some of the downer songs, but not without keeping on-theme for the show. The dark elements are there and the emotions build on themselves neatly. Underlying the comedic elements is the obvious fact that they are singing a fun pop-hit about children dying. 

The moments between Heather and Heather should be subtle, at least compared to the Kevin and Larry version. Heather M seems distressed, but Heather Duke is performing for the cameras,  getting a solo verse about how hard it is on your friends if you kill yourself. 

Eventually, one of the camera people turns their microphone to Heather M, who has had enough, she admits that she’s been thinking about killing herself because of what Heather, kurt, and ram did, as well as a number of other things that have been happening in her personal life. (I’m going to talk about Lifeboat and give some options for that in the next post.)

There is a long moment of silence where everyone just stares at her. Fleming steps forward, offers some lame comfort that amounts to “No, don’t kill urself life is rad!” This obviously does nothing and Heather flees. 

JD: “See, Veronica? The adults are useless. Did you think her way would work?” 

Ignoring him, Veronica follows Heather M out and after a long moment of everyone staring at each other awkwardly, Fleming and Duke join forces to finish out the song. It’s flat and lame.

[top100of2019]

The Top 100 Songs of 2019

Hey everyone, if you aren’t familiar with what this is, it’s my favorite 100 songs of the past year. For every song, I mix in some kind of personal story or anecdote. I do this every year - just change the year in the URL line for 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015 or 2014.

The Spotify playlist for this year can be found here. 

If your favorite song didn’t make it, oh well! Music is subjective. It’s less about the music and more about documenting the memories. It’s a year in review. 

I tried to shorten up the novel, but I failed, it’s still long. I talk a lot, or as Drew calls it, motor mouth (or how he spelled it, motor mount.)

Let’s get that bread. 

100. Sisyphus - Andrew Bird

I usually start this with where I woke up on New Year’s Day, but I want to talk about something that happened in 2018 after my top 100 came out last year. I always wondered: What happens if something MAJOR happens after my list is released but before the new year? I learned the answer. 

After only two months with my newly acquired Honda Fit, I went to grab A&W at 2 a.m. after a solid games night with Dayn, Evan, Kelly and James. Unfortunately, I hit a patch of bad ice with my foot resting on the brake, locking my tires. I slid and slammed right into a tree, just across from the man-made lake in Erin Ridge, two minutes from my house. 

My car was totaled but the important part is I basically escaped with no injury. My left ear was shot for about two weeks and everything was muzzled, but even the burgers stayed intact in my car (Brian was right, no burgers in the car guys). At the time, I was devastated, but with the help of friends Josh & Ronan who came out to the scene and my mom’s boyfriend JD, we were able to get the car home. Drew Skyped me at 5 a.m. and helped me get over the incident faster. I realize how lucky I really am to be able to write this blog today after a year full of events despite the incident. Thanks to my family and friends for just hanging out with me, talking to me and helping things get back to normal. 

Also, thanks to the random lady who helped me right after the accident! She stopped and made sure I was okay, that was pretty sick! 

99. Doin’ Time - Lana del Ray

I apologize already that there is no more Lana del Ray - but some of her music from the new album is on last year’s list already! 

One of the good hangout times this year was when Raphy, Ronan and I hit up Aaron’s house for the Canada vs Finland quarterfinal game of the World Juniors. Finland tied it on the weirdest bounce. Evan Bouchard had a breakaway that turned into a penalty shot but Maxime Comtois (a Duck you’ll later hate unless you’re Wyatt) failed and then Canada lost. Sad. 

At least there was some good pool games after, always available on the table in Flem’s lair. I later went to Aaron’s for an Oilers game and like a rare fossil discovery, Milan Lucic scored a goal. Witnessing such an improbable moment in Oilers history is always a treat. 

98. Essentially - Japanese Breakfast

Jordan, Aaron and I went to The Canadian Brewhouse for some late night munchies (Alex Beach joined us at a different outing) and it was very quiet inside, except for one person. 

Essentially, we started listening to Brandon Lilo on the karaoke microphone singing Sweet Caroline, only it went like this: 

SWEET CAROLINE....OILERS SUCK. 

Every single time. Don’t ever change Brandon. He’s literally everywhere in the Edmonton area at any time, if that makes sense. Bus, bar, wherever. Maybe he time travels? 

97. Freakazoid - Silversun Pickups

If you ever want to see me freak out, just ask me about Peter Chiarelli’s tenure as the Edmonton Oilers GM. 

The Griffin Reinhart trade, moving Taylor Hall, Strome for Eberle and then Strome for Spooner, signing Lucic, not getting proper depth, Kris Russell’s contract...just so many moves that killed me inside.

Chiarelli was finally fired this season, one day after I sent this tweet that received lots of action. 

Best of luck Ken Holland, you’re going to need it. Maybe one day they figure it out right? Once I’m GM? 

96. Mile High - James Blake & Travis Scott

I thought I was high on something strange one night when Drew and I went to the Crown to watch an Edmonton Oilers game vs Minnesota.

We walk into the usual watering hole atmosphere to find it’s JAM PACKED with people. Hunter the Lynx is SERVING BEER at the bar. Ryan Jespersen is on the mic and even anthem singer Robert Clark started Oh Canada INSIDE the Crown! 

THE CROWN! Seriously???

It was part of the Oilers GameDay Live promotion and it was super fun. Jen Zandstra, one of my promo coordinators at Bell and a boss for the Oilers promotion team was there and helped it run very smooth. Jen is terrific at her job and it always shows. The Oilers won and Raphy joined later before we hit up OJs feeling dangerous like Baker Mayfield. Matt was also somewhere around, I think we talked about the Tofino trip (RIP). 

95. Curls - Bibio

A few of us definitely saw some curls and curve balls at the Edmonton Prospects games this summer. It’s a hell of a time having a few beers while enjoying some baseball in the sun. 

I went to one and it’s fun to relax. Some drunk guys were building a beer can pyramid below us and I’m pretty sure it was Pam that was able to knock it over. I honestly didn’t know the score at any point of the game. 

Most of our group went to the bar after but Josh and I stayed behind - Subway run at 11 p.m? You bet. Good news? After rumors of leaving, the team is staying at RE/MAX Field in 2020. Save a seat for me! 

94. Late Night Feelings - Mark Ronson (ft. Lykke Li)

The feeling I seemed to get during a lot of late nights was hunger - and that meant a LOT of trips to Denny’s this year. Whether it was for a post-Pint meal or just because (like in Kelly, Matias and I’s case) - Denny’s always opens its doors for my friends and I. 

Sure, sometimes there’s weird guys in the bathroom or a vape god that almost fights a girl with a biker coat. That’s Denny’s baby. Ol’ reliable.  

Drew is an absolute animal in there. The guy just takes pancakes off Rachel’s plate like a lion taking its prey. Maybe that’s why he cheers on the Detroit Lions? 

Does anyone ever win from that claw machine in the front of the restaurant? 

93. Old Graffiti - Bibio

We had a ton of good bar nights. The party limo from Kelsey’s house to The Pint, Mercer nights with the boys, that one time in Thrift Shop when we found out 23 is too old to be in there, Kayla Ivicak’s shindig etc. 

Drew saw Connor McDavid, Leon Draisaitl, James Neal and Darnell Nurse at The Pint. He had a chance to ask Nurse a question and he asks this: 

“Hey do you play fantasy football?” 

Nurse said no. Smooth. But hey, still cool. 

The most enjoyable bar nights could be the ones between Amber, Raphy and I at Mercer, The Pint and Funky Buddha. Amber may be the best at getting me to groove out on a dance floor. 

I also always enjoy Raphy, Amber and I’s “pre-drink” sessions at her place. It’s our time to catch up, eat more Subway, spill tea (I drink Snapples...and Mikes of course) and also face the WRATH OF LOUIS - just kidding, Louis is a good friend. Louis did scratch me once...it was just part of the bonding experience I’d say. 

Amber has a picture of me enjoying the night somewhere on her phone. I’m sure it’ll be on the top 100 in future years. 

92. I Guess I Just Feel Like - John Mayer

For this song, I guess I just feel like telling you guys some of the favorite movies/games/TV I played or watched this year: 

Westworld Season 1 - hell yes. This is a real mind tickler. It’s not new, but I’m just getting into it. 

Chernobyl - It’s so well done and actually quite frightening to think about. The acting is superb and really highlights the brave efforts of some vs the incompetence of others. 

God of War - Hands down the best video game I’ve played in long time and maybe ever. There is such a rich story and the visuals are stunning. Love the atmosphere. 

Wolfenstein 1 & 2: Kelly was right - this is a really fun game. Love the sneaking around ramping up in the sequel, it’s a loony story too. Thanks Christian for letting me borrow your PS4! 

Avengers: Endgame: Wow. That’s all I have to say. They did it. 

How I Met Your Mother & The Office - I re-watch these every year and they’re always better EVERY TIME. They make me laugh AND cry. 

Joker: Imagine the villain having reasoning for his actions that are still incredibly wrong but understandable? This movie has layers and I dig it. 

Stranger Things: Season 3 was damn good, it lived up to season 1. Loved the 80s theme, loved the character development, Netflix nailed this one. 

Big Mouth: It’s a show where I can reflect on my life experiences growing up in junior high/high school and laugh back on it. Hilarious show. 

There’s other great movies I re-watched, but I’ll save some of those for my top 20 movies of the decade list, coming out later! 

91. I’m A Stranger Now - The Tallest Man on Earth

I felt like a stranger walking into the Buckingham for the first time - I had heard a ton of hype about that bar and it may have lived up to it. After taking a party limo from Drew’s house, we listened to old classics like Come on Eileen and danced around for Amy’s birthday night. I like that place! 

Raphy and Aaron fell asleep together at the bar, typical. My only photo proof is Aaron in the dark but that’s okay...there’s more of that later. I thought Amber disappeared only to find her literally behind me. 

Raphy was up to his bar mischief - he tapped on shoulders, took Taylor Mildenberger’s drink and caused minor trouble like a cartoon villain. 

I bring this night up because I’m pretty sure it’s why my Uber rating isn’t perfect. I have a 4.9 and I assume it’s because I chatted up the driver way too much in the car Klak-style (other reasons too eh Aaron?) I was super annoying and then I asked the driver how long he’d been with Uber? “Actually this is my first trip ever...” 

Sorry. 

90. Seventeen - Sharon Van Etten

Quick shout out: When I was 17, I’d hang out with Shaydon, a good friend from elementary school. In March, I got to hang out with him for the first time in a hot minute with Kelly. Shaydon took us to a really cool small upstairs restaurant on Whyte and it was delicious. I see you Shaydon, saw you got a new chef gig, that’s sick! 

We were seventeen years old when we started playing NFL fantasy. I think our first league was founded in the back of Mr. Johnson’s LA class between Raphy, Ronan and I. Drew added some spice into it later on. Now we do a full fledged draft every year at Drew’s house, followed by partying and discussing why Drew took Todd Gurley so early. Reeve, Drew’s cousin, usually brings the best insults to the table. Josh had a solid rookie campaign.

After winning the pool last year, I lost in a close semifinal battle vs Ronan thanks to Philip Rivers and the Chargers terrible offense. Raphy ended up winning the crown, which is well deserved after years of finals heartbreak. Drew just squeaked by his cousin Reeve in the shit bowl, lucky because he would have had to wear a onesie to Sasquatch if he lost.  

We also started a new pool that included Aaron, Kelly, Mike, Shaye and Dean too. Kelly had awful luck, not making the playoffs despite having Lamar Jackson, Aaron Jones and Patrick Mahomes. I had a good team but got bounced by Aaron, who made the final but TYLER LOCKETT ended his career. Also, the Sammy Watkins incident definitely made me mad.

Shaye won the pool, which he’ll probably remind me about for the next 40 years. Congrats Shaye, it was an earned victory!

89. U (Man Like) - Bon Iver

I was also a part of the first ever TSN 1260 live on-air NFL fantasy draft. Wyatt got shade for taking Dalvin Cook in round one but it was an incredibly smart decision. Kareem Hunt was not, but Wyatt was a very formidable foe throughout the season and was probably into the pool the most other than myself. Matthew Iwanyk had a great draft and bested me twice. Eric got last (he tried for a bit at least!) and will have to sing a song on air, Andrew Luck would be proud! I drafted Keenan Allen, saying it was in honor of Connor Halley, a Chargers fan who didn’t get to draft due to a wedding. Dustin Nielson responded by saying: “That’s funny, because you wouldn’t be here if Connor was here to draft!” 

I got the last laugh. Dustin vs Me in the final, I’m down 22 with one player left, and Aaron Jones blasts through the Vikings D for 28. THANK YOU AARON FREAKING JONES! I won the title by a score of 177-171 in a heater of a match-up. Just let me know when my ring is ready Dusty! But also, congrats on a hard fought ending! 

88. Don’t Start Now - Dua Lipa

As for hockey, my fantasy draft went extremely poorly. I finished strong to end last year’s OSHL season, grabbing a few bucks in 3rd place, but at our auction I drafted the worst goalie set ever in pool history and that took me out of contention this year. The OSHL draft is still won of the most fun thanksgiving traditions where a bunch of smart hockey guys get together and hammer out our teams. It’s the most intricate fantasy hockey draft in the world. My Uncle Blaine is a long-time member and Cam continues as commissioner who has to deal with teams not knowing math. It’s always the best test of my knowledge and keeps me fresh. 

We also still do our family drafts. I enjoy turning to Aiden during those and laughing when Grant and Keith take forever to pick or someone says a name really badly wrong (Thornton Joe!). I legit haven’t won that pool since junior high, but my dad would say “Don’t Start Now!” Maybe I should use The Klaklist next time! 

87. iMi - Bon Iver

There was one night when Josh was away on vacation and Ronan, Raphy and I were at his place watching YouTube videos. I enjoy small fun nights like this one was. We threw a ball at each other while giving each other dares - if you didn’t catch the ball then you HAD to do it (I don’t think we followed through on any of them). 

We always end up watching THAT video (CRINGE!) as well as some of Kelsey’s YouTube channel, now archived in video history among the greats and masterpieces. We also watched the 2019 SACHS grad video, which I will probably never do ever again especially from the COUCH. Ronan and I also once watched videos on our own which included the Earl’s hair incident caught on tape. Our grad video is now five years old, and still can make me tear up, Adam Hutlet did a hell of a job. 

We also got Popeyes once and man oh man I LOVE Popeyes. This whole blog is a big ad, heads up. 

86. Orphans - Coldplay

Did we make an orphan joke while at our games nights at Dylan’s? Probably not, but these were some solid times. Dyl has a hot tub which is pretty sweet, and we always seem to grab Skip the Dishes (Braydon paid for mine if I remember). 

We played The Voting Game often, a fairly savage game where we really dig deep into what we think of each other, but the true highlight was playing Truth Bombs. The girls went to grab McDonald’s and the guys turned it up to 11. I think it was Braydon who said Matty’s dance move would be called The Lousy Lew, which is just too good. Aaron, Colin, Dyl, Matt, Braydon and I went hard in the paint on each other in good taste and it was hilarious. 

85. New House - Rex Orange County 

A new place that I found myself randomly in the first few times was Halley’s Club (not owned by Connor) at West Edmonton Mall. A few of us had went to the casino but Drew, Raphy and I had enough of that noise, so we saw the sign for HALLEY’s CLUB and didn’t expect much. Coat check was free. 

Then we opened the doors. 

IT WAS A BANGER! There was tons of 30+ people dancing on the floor and the DJ was actually DJ DION - who has a resemblance to Austin Hauch (hey man!) - Drew tried to dance with the bride. We had a few drinks and turned up - it’s kind of like a showy old-style club you’d see in a gangster movie. For whatever reason, I love the bathrooms in there. 

To see if lightning strikes twice, Matias, Kelly and I also visited there in December and IT DID! This time, there was a live band singing big time hits and then we belted out Don’t Stop Believin’ over a Stella. It’s my new party house. Here’s a picture from me in their bathroom, which is straight out of The Great Gatsby or 2001: A Space Odyssey - both. 

84. That’s Life - 88-Keys (feat. Mac Miller & Sia)

This song is Mac Miller’s last song where he’s the primary vocalist and it’s great. 

One night we had a fire at Lions Park and relaxed with a hackysack that was a throwback to grade ten death hack sessions. There was even a group of high school kids around us and it reminded us we’re growing up but hey - that’s life, we’ve been there too. We once used to say “AW SWEET ARE YOU DRINKING ALCOHOL!” 

I kept thinking I was going to kick Ronan by accident and Aaron kept loading up these giant boots for the kill. Taylor and Adrienne came by and Adrienne brought her dog for a visit. We traded out the real fire for a covered one at Browns where Christian, Samantha, Rachel, Brenna, Braydon, among others discussed which Pixar movies are the best.  

Brenna drove me home in the buggy and we had a good chat - the buggy is no longer as Brenna now owns a Mini Cooper. It already had problems but hey THAT’S LIFE! I’ll miss the buggy though. 

83. Lately - Metronomy 

THE TORONTO RAPTORS WON! WOOOOO!!!!!!!

RAPS IN 6 BABY! 

Drew, Ronan and I celebrated beside the corner TV at Central Social Hall as history was made. Kawhi Leonard, thank you. 

Jordan also introduced me to Moscato, which I had never tried, and it’s very good. I am also a white girl. 

Unfortunately, Josh, Ronan, Raphy and I also found out Kawhi Leonard was leaving Toronto late one night...also at Central Social Hall. It begins where it ends. Mr. Ducharme though....that was hilarious. 

Drew was in breakdown mode at Christian’s house when I told him over the phone. I actually had to call him about it because I was in shock about the Paul George trade. At least, lately, the Raptors are giving us hope they can repeat without Fun Guy. 

82. About You - G Flip 

You have to hand it to Christian - he sacrifices his house for us for a lot of events and he makes them about you - he gives us the pick for Movie Club and always makes us feel comfortable in his basement. 

Movie Club now has a documented history because he’s been able to keep it alive for a good amount of time. I don’t attend often - or I sleep through my own pick (DAMMIT) but it’s always a fun time seeing everyone and watching a good film. 

I also love the after-discussion and then we flip through good random movie scenes. That part is severely underrated. This is one of those events that keeps our friend circle strong - super grateful we still do it. 

81. The Barrel - Aldous Harding

To help mix it up, Christian also added some games nights in the movie club rotation and I loved those. Secret Hitler is a super fun game that Matias introduced as well as Werewolf, where we assume fun new identities and low-key kill each other. 

Matias is the game-master, which sometimes I feel bad because he’s not participating but then I realize Alex secretly enjoys watching the world crumble at the table through argument. It’s like watching monkeys shoot each other in a barrel. Christian is always fascist. There was one game where basically everyone was both Samantha Serra and the Seer. 

We also played The Game of Life and we kept having to double back over that stupid donate to the orphanage space (I should have used that song for this one, DAMMIT AGAIN). Poor Samantha, I’M SORRY. Kelly ended up winning and therefore grabs the title of Best At Life. 

80. Summer Days - Macklemore, Martin Garrix, Fall Out Boy

I first heard this song in Josh’s car on the way to the Prospects game. It’s a banger. 

Speaking of the summer, that’s when golf season approaches. 

You can buy a golf card to Ravencrest, Sandpiper and many other great courses! 

Why am I saying that? Because it was part of the script for the first ever commercial I’ve ever voiced to air on a major radio station. You can hear it occasionally this holiday on TSN 1260. Chris has promised me there will be more commercials with my voice on it, so stay tuned for that in 2020. Thanks Chris, that’s a pretty awesome opportunity! 

79. House of Glass - Cage the Elephant

I believe I posted a preview of the top 100 during this point, and you probably saw that giant gaming computer in the background of the IG story. 

That was built by my dad as a Christmas present and it’s pretty awesome. The lights are custom to change with the beat of whatever song I’m playing, which is a very ME perk. I can’t wait in 2020 to fire up Cyberpunk on this baby. My dad plans to build more with YouTube videos explaining how he did it - and themed to NHL teams too. Sounds like a sick idea! 

Thanks very much Dad! That was a super awesome present, thanks for putting the time and effort into such a cool machine for me to use! 

78. Hope - Sandy (Alex G)

I honestly was a bit short on top 100 ideas this year and needed some help. Alex provided me with hope. 

We hit up West Edmonton Mall and rode the Mindbender. That ride still holds up. I haven’t done it since Dayn and I did it in junior high and I totally forgot how high it is and the butterflies you get from the first drop. I also felt high walking off because my brain got shook up on the last tight loop. It truly bent my mind. 

There were tons of trips to that old mall this year, it’s always something to do in a city that sometimes doesn’t have enough. Matt Mosewich and I ate lunch a few times (that’s one mention Matt keep counting), Amber and I did our tradition of Christmas shopping where I make terrible jokes and we smell candles. Ronan and I played mini golf and he kicked my ass, again. Kelly, Matias and I roamed around a few times, as did Raphy and I once. Aaron always checks the discount rack at LuLu for deals. A wild Scott can sometimes be seen at Urban and a wild Evan at Le Chateau, although based on how many times I’ve visited lately and haven’t seen him, Evan is a legendary Pokemon. 

77. Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

This could be higher, but it’s still pretty new. Aaron loves it. Garrett and I first heard the debut in a Bluenotes. 

My birthday had plenty of highlights - my mom, Kaitlin and I went to Moxie’s and she bought me a tin of Cookies by George. That’s heaven for me in a nutshell. 

My grandparents came and visited my house for a bit, usually I just hear from my grandma sing her rendition of Happy Birthday over the phone so that was a nice change. I always love seeing my grandparents! 

At night, I had like fifteen friends come to Boston Pizza for a big dinner. That was awesome since it was last minute and I didn’t know if anyone would be able to attend. Mitch helped round people up. Thanks guys for a wonderful evening! I didn’t get in one because I actually had a job interview the next morning, but there were plenty of other chances for that. 

Christian paid for my meal too, because he’s the hero Gotham needs but doesn’t deserve. He is The Dark Knight. 

76. Eagle Birds - The Black Keys

The New England Patriots won the Super Bowl again. BOOOOOOOMMM

I’m a Patriots fan, and yes I’ve heard your bandwagon accusations but remember that I’m also an Oilers fan - I’ve suffered enough. 

Mike Serra held an awesome Super Bowl party at his place. I couldn’t believe how much food he had set out! Thanks for the effort Mike, that set-up with the projector and the seats was the best anyone could ask for and more. Thanks Samantha too! Your house is party city! (more on that later) 

Matty Lew’s Rams lost because Jared Goff is a systems quarterback. Drew isn’t in the photo because he pussied out. Ronan looks like a turtle here. 

75. Turn the Light - Karen O, Danger Mouse

I know I made jokes about beating him earlier, but huge thanks to Dustin Nielson & Eric for having me as a guest on the TSN 1260 roundtable twice. Being on the morning show is a surreal experience, it’s really cool to be a part of that! Especially when you pair me up with Lowetide, there really isn’t anything better than talking hockey on the air in the morning and maybe a bit of football too. 

It’s also funny when we’re done and I see Jordan has sent video snapchats to a bunch of people of him listening to me on the radio - it’s helpful because I have no idea what I sound like in your car! 

74. Sunflower - Vampire Weekend, Steve Lacy

Oilers games are expensive, so when I get to go to one, I’m always super grateful for the experience. 

Thanks to Braydon, I got to watch Oilers vs Leafs in the lower bowl in March. Seeing McDavid getting mad at Kapanen up close is just fantastic. The Oilers scored twice in the last two minutes to make it a 3-2 game in a comeback but Zack Kassian couldn’t quite lift the last chance and they lost. We hit Mercer after and stayed until the bitter end. 

Thanks to Lowetide, I got to watch the Oilers play the Sharks as Leon Draisaitl tried to hit 50 goals. Drew and I saw him score to get closer, but I’ll never forget fans cheering from the corner TOBY RIEDER every five seconds because he had 0 goals. Jordan was apparently one of them. 

73. Landslide - Beirut

Some people (Ben) would say that Game of Thrones season 8 was a complete landslide - a fall from grace from a series once hailed as the greatest of all-time. 

I disagree. It was flawed, but honestly entertaining and my jaw still dropped at many scenes throughout. I won’t spoil it for those of you still watching. It’s incredibly hard ending a series with so many characters, plot threads and expectations. I’ve seen much worse endings (Dexter, House of Cards, looking at you). 

It was made better by being around friends to watch it. Christian held parties for us to finish the show in his basement and Ben hosted a sick Game of Thrones death pool that his engineering friend Stef won. She was greatly helped by a savage Arya theory that rang true. Denied! 

I don’t think it’s my favorite series of all-time, but it sure is going down as the most talked about ever. Anna, Kelly, Evan, Brenna, Mike + Sam, Chris, many others - it’s a long list of people I discussed this show with. What a run. 

72. You Shadow - Sharon Van Etten

It’s not dark inside the Combat Archery stadium - no shadows, yet somehow people still would see me behind barriers and were able to shoot their arrows straight at my head. There’s a sniper tower on each side and the barriers are actually movable all around the room. 

What is combat archery? It’s foam tipped arrow dodgeball - and it’s a shit ton of fun. We had a solid group of us head out and try it - Kelly, Brenna, Mike, Jordan, Ronan, Matias and Christian gave it a shot (bad dad pun). 

They also mix you in with randoms, and the randoms were good, so it was a real challenge. We pelted each other and then met Samantha at the Brewhouse for some after war delights. 

Side note: My sister was called a “beacon of light” by Sharon Van Etten once. She reminded me of this as I started typing this paragraph. 

71. Purple Hat - Sofi Tukker

There’s a bunch of weird colours at Laser Quest - I hadn’t gone in a few years but everything still looks the same in that building. 

The guns, the sets inside, the fog, the logo - it’s all the same. 

Jordan, Rachel, Kelsey, Raphy and a special appearance by my friend Jieco, who I hadn’t seen in a long time, all joined in on the shooting each other game. Jordan named himself diarrhea and when he finished top 3 in one of the games, he didn’t hear them call his name, so the girl with the scorecards had to say. 

“Diarrhea. Diarrhea. Anyone? Diarrhea?” Several times. 

We hit OJs after and it was a solid night. Thanks Jieco for coming, it was awesome to see you and you improved every game! Kicked my ass! 

70. Goodbyes - Post Malone ft. Young Thug

Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to something I loved doing this year. 

Due to budget cuts, Saturday Sports Extra, the show I produced with Lowetide as host, was cancelled from TSN 1260. I have lots of good memories from my first produced show on the station - from Paul’s Oiler rants to the soccer report to booking my first guests to just the back-and-forth about hockey between Lowetide and I with him screaming KLAAAAK. 

It was a hell of a show and they gave me a jersey with the logo on it so I can remember it forever. I couldn’t ask for a better host too - Lowetide is awesome, hilarious and extremely patient. It’ll be missed. 

69. Sanctuary - Joji

Nice. Again. 

Canada Day is always a busy one for me. It’s Free Agent Frenzy - the day where every team in the NHL signs new players at ridiculous salaries except that one smart team that manages to grab deals of the future. There’s also a mind blowing trade every year - this year was the Tyson Barrie trade - and an offer sheet was thrown in to boot. Aho stayed in Carolina though. 

After the craziness, we’ve done things such as parties, tailgates and fireworks - this year because Canada Day fell on a Sunday, it meant fireworks was the choice. Matias, Brian and I went down to the legislature area and hung out for a few hours. It was a real nice time, we made jokes about....well, me - especially after I tried to make this leap across stones in the water in front of a crowd and instead dropped a leg into my watery grave below. Luckily, you couldn’t see much about the failure on Matias’ terrible phone screen. It was nice outside so I wasn’t soaked for long. 

Overall, a great night and a good birthday for our country. I wonder where that mystery girl went...

68. Cafe Amarillo - Local Natives

In July, we had an excellent family gathering at our house, something that hadn’t been done in a long while. My Auntie Heather, Uncle George, Auntie Joanne, Uncle Calvin, Auntie Linda and Uncle Mike - as well as my cousin Alex and his girlfriend Polina and my sister Kaitlin and her boyfriend Mike all came for a fire in the backyard and some good catching up. 

I broke one of my cardinal rules. 

“Don’t get tipsy at the family gathering.” - I never have really had drinks with family before, until now. 

Oops. I was a bit more talkative and I can tell people thought it was funny. My Uncle George and I share a love of salsa and Auntie Linda, the link to that story on flight MH370 is here - it’s one of the best and most intriguing web articles I’ve ever read (anyone else who wants to read something, go have a long look). 

At the end of the night, Mitch picked me up and we talked in his car in a lightning storm. We should do another one in 2020 - and this time, Uncle Jav, Auntie Karen, Eve and Nico, and Ben, Kristy & Amy, we need you guys too! 

67. Outside - MorMor

I like when people just get together on a quiet night, shoot the shit, have a few beers and just chill out. 

Whether it was at Drew’s house, Taylor’s house, Christian’s basement or OJs or the A&W parking lot, it’s the small things that really help make up a good year. Reggie is now with Swoop as a flight attendant, which did make OJs feel emptier. 

Sometimes these good small hangouts happened outside - I especially enjoyed the ODR days or nights with Aaron where we just found a rink and played hockey for hours. We lost so many pucks and played plenty of 1v1. Alex Beach joined in on one of them too. It’s always nice to shred some ice. 

Another one of the good small events? Hitting up the corn maze, which is now annual. Rachel and Kelsey organize that and it’s always a good time where we just get lost and make jokes. 

66. I’m Not Alright - Loud Luxury ft. Bryce Vine

I’m NOT alright when my team is eliminated from March Madness, but at least I know that most of the rest of the people in the pool are also feeling the pain. Braydon, Mike, Drew and Christian have held watch parties for games so we can all witness our brackets turning to shit. 

This year we had a record of 23 people in our big bracket - Mike Serra went bold and took Wofford, which Matty Lew thinks has one of the best logos ever. Josh was fully on the Kentucky board with P.J. Washington. Amy and I saw Gonzaga die in sad elite 8 fashion. Christian actually won money after heartbreak for years - his parents did as well. Drew put up a fight for the 2nd straight year to only go down swinging in the final four. Gerry was the first eliminated and all three Salcedos saw themselves in last - what a twist as normally it’s a Bragg member, but Carter finished 2nd. I thought Thorsley was going to win it all again but he was upset in one game and that was it. 

For the 2nd time in our bracket history, Emily Groenenboom, thanks to Virginia and Texas Tech, came out as the victor. 2020 looks to be the most wide open year in the tournament ever - good luck and prepare for MORE PAIN FOLKS! 

65. EARFQUAKE - Tyler, The Creator

One of my dreams came true very early in my career - getting to be a part of the TSN 1260 NHL Draft coverage. 

On a panel with Guy Flaming, Andrew Peard and Lowetide, I helped produce and was able to provide input throughout. Unfortunately there was basically no trades to break on air but it was still so fun. We’ll see if I’m right about Ville Heinola being better than Philip Broberg. 

I hope I get to do that for many years to come! Also Matty if you’re reading this, I’m very down to cover as much of the World Juniors as possible locally when they arrive in Edmonton and Red Deer in 2020. 

64. Go - The Black Keys

First, want to add a shout out to Larissa, who had a journal published that she was a big part of - to REALLY REALLY dumb it down, it was about red blood cells and preserving them. Feel free to correct me! Go Larissa! 

Some days you just look outside and say “Let’s Go!” 

That’s what Matias and I did a few times this year - one of those outings was to Elk Island National Park, a nature haven that neither of us had ever tried going to before. It was beautiful. We were reminded of it from posts Taylor Maton made about heading over and checking it out. 

The water is calm, the forest is full of life (we saw a million frogs) and we even saw two weddings in full bloom. Matias is extremely knowledgeable about the trees and plant life. We took a 45 minute hike and walked across some long boardwalks over the wetlands. 

If you’re ever bored and need somewhere peaceful to reset, this is your jam. 

63. Uncomfortably Numb - American Football ft. Hayley Williams

I enjoy being comfortably numb myself, AKA drunk. One of those nights was when Raphy, Brian, Matias, Kelly and I hit the town and went out to Whyte Ave. 

First we ate at Dadeo - you need to eat there. First of all, the waitress had an alt-J t-shirt so I know she’s cool, but also it has scrumptious po-boys that fill your heart and soul. 

After, despite a SERIOUS SCARE YOU GUYS WTF LOL, we kept the night going and got a bucket of liquor at O’Byrne’s. Maybe we should have danced at the front window but we did witness reddit/r/cringe in the making.  It was one of those nights where you feel like you can do anything as we belted songs loudly in Matias’ car over the Walterdale Bridge. 

Also, we saw Lana and waved. HI LANA!! I also saw Lana at WEM with Matias and yelled LAAAAAANNNAAA - but she didn’t respond. Probably embarrassed to know me. 

62. Make it Better - Anderson .Paak ft. Smokey Robinson

I first heard this in the car with Levi coming back to the station from a shift at the Full House Lottery homes - Levi easily makes me laugh the most on a shift, probably cause he tells it straight and sees life in a similar way to me. 

That Full House shift certainly got creamy. 

The quote that made me laugh from him the most was a guy walked by the Bear Growler at Fringe and in an extremely high voice said “Can ya hook me up with a sticker!” and Levi didn’t hear him fully and said “Rock on brother” and just walked away. For some reason I started crying laughing. 

Work is pretty good when there’s someone with you that makes you laugh. 

61. Heavenly - Cigarettes After Sex 

I filled in as producer on The Jason Gregor Show for Connor Halley once in August - I’m actually doing it again on Friday. 

I got super fortunate that one of the guests on the show was Jarome Iginla, one of my favorite NHL players of all-time. I got to phone him up and talk to him briefly before Jason had him on the show, a heavenly moment.  

My dad was the man who sent an email to St. Albert City Council to get the ball rolling on the Jarome Iginla Arena, which is the new name of the Kinex Arena in St. Albert. My dad got to meet Jarome, who thanked him for doing what he did and according to my dad, remembered talking to me at TSN 1260. 

Every young hockey player should use Iginla as their role model. One of the toughest, classiest and best players to ever skate in the NHL. Also - who passed to Crosby for the Golden Goal at the 2010 Olympics? You guessed it. 

60. Kids in ‘99 - Death Cab for Cutie

I’ve been traveling around since 1999 and I always have plans to go on trips, although none of them came to fruition in 2019. 

In 2020, we’re definitely hitting up Canmore & Banff for the annual winter sloshfest. I’d love to also hike in Canmore & Banff in the summer, as well as Waterton again and Whistler would be high on my list. 

Tofino and Disneyland seem like distant dreams, but you never know. 

Brian, there’s a moment in this song where Ben Gibbard says gas leaks. 

59. Naeem - Bon Iver

In Hebrew, Naeem means present. 

I love being present at Cafe Amore with my dad, Kaitlin and her boyfriend Mike. I CANNOT recommended this place enough and I do every single year, it’s the best Italian in Edmonton, it’s the best restaurant in Edmonton PERIOD. We saw Dylan and Pam there once, they’d recommend it too! 

I always love splitting a Caesar Salad and then ordering a Chicken Parmigiana with a white sauce linguine while my dad and Kaitlin talk about what dumbassery Donald Trump did this week. 

Thanks Dad, I always appreciate when we can go out and eat this delicacy! 

58. Superposition - Daniel Ceasar, John Mayer

I was once put in a position recently where I was forced to watch High School Musical: The Series at Jordan’s house - please, never again WILL! 

Otherwise, Jordan’s place was the home for some really fun game nights this year. We played The Voting Game, Spyfall, a bit of Werewolf and a bit of Secret Hitler. 

Arguably though, the most fun game we’ve played happened just last weekend. It was 1am and nearly everyone else had left, leaving Jordan, Lindsay, Raphy, Alex Beach and I to play some rounds of Quiplash, a Jackbox TV game that’s always funny. We kinda whipped through the other games on the party pack before reaching the last one called BombCorp. It looked dumb, but whatever let’s try it. 

IT WAS SO GOOD! It forces four players to work together to solve the puzzle of which wire to cut or else the bomb explodes. I don’t think I’ve played a game that encouraged more co-operation than this one. 

We ended up staying until 3am playing that game straight. Lindsay was so tired that at one point, she suggested cutting the only wire that we WEREN’T supposed to cut out of five. We only got halfway done too - there’s more to explore there. Thanks for hosting Jordan! 

57.  Flake - FIDLAR

We had a games night at Braydon’s where we played Truth Bombs and as you saw in a point from earlier, that game can get savage, but for whatever reason, this one was DOUBLE SAVAGE. 

I’m pretty sure Ben was tossed every Asian joke every made. “If Ben was an animal what would he be?” “Siamese cat” Don’t worry, Ben loved the game enough to buy it as a Christmas present. 

Braydon got targeted, I got targeted, Ronan and Christian kinda did and Will got a few good ones thrown his way. It was an all-out war. 

Every round became a bunch of answers I absolutely cannot post here - accompanied by someone going “Orange Justice” and someone going “Because he’s fast”  At one point, Braydon’s animal was chosen to be a cheetah “because he’s fast”. 

I honestly cried laughing at this games night more than any other night in 2019. Signed, DJ Virgin Radio. Also, if you want to avoid things getting savage, don’t call Matty Lew a flake - he’ll GO OFF! 

56. Strangers - City & Colour

Raphy bought me tickets for my birthday to go see Dallas Green and City and Colour - always a treat! 

We ended up with floor seats sitting right in eye-line of Jordan and Aaron. We also saw Hank there, so we all met up at the end and then Raphy and I followed up at OJs for the traditional post-concert munch. 

This was my 4th time seeing Dallas Green perform and it always somehow gets better than the last one. Thanks Raphy for the tickets....”starts singing parodies of Woman” 

55. Ruckus - Konata Small, Crispin

It feels like a ruckus is about to start when Evan, Kelly, James and I start playing Settlers of Catan - it only takes one robber move to set everyone off against one another. Evan, Kelly and I have all won our fair share of games but James fought forever for a big win. He’d come so close only for us to snatch the glory out of his hands. 

Finally, James won in the 2nd half of the year. It was like Tim Robbins leaving the sewers at the end of The Shawshank Redemption. 

If I’m not asleep by accident, our games nights always provide a challenge and James laughing is still one of the best soundbites in life. 

JAMESON. Let’s get a round of Halo 3 back in there boys. 

54. Zulu Screams - GoldLink

Our family floor hockey league is still going strong - it’s incredible my Uncle Lorne still plays well honestly, he’s almost 70 and still can score plenty of goals. Darcy, Calvin and Rob are still extremely tough on your stick and shoot screamers at the net. 

The young guns put up a hell of a fight - Desmond goes hard or goes...in net, or messages me about my Reddit fame. Marshall has dad strength. Damien has stopped me on the most breakaways of any goalie I’ve faced and also robs me continuously - at least he drives me to Rosslyn as a consolation. Braeden is the most likely to leave me with a bruise on my leg and is a fierce defender. 

Tera, Patty, Joanne (when her thumb is healed!) and Rob’s daughters round out the girls. Harley also shows up to a lot of games - when he’s not molding Levi into a future teacher king. 

Afterwards, we hit Boston Pizza, where we gave Desmond the girl quiz to find out which girl is the perfect match. There were some questionable answers given. 

53. BLOW - Ed Sheeran, Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars

Here comes the parties, lots to talk about this year. None of them blow. 

We’ll start with Taylor’s surprise party for Braydon, which had one hell of a start I won’t discuss here other than a Jordan quote: “There I am just walking up her driveway to the party lololol” 

My favorite part of it though was a spirited movie discussion between Matty Lew, Ronan and Christian and I.  I think I made very valid points about Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino but I can’t remember exactly what they were - hopefully just “These guys know how to DIRECT!” I wouldn’t be surprised if Matt defended Blade Runner 2049 in that chat. 

I also think there was a heated pong battle that I argued about but in reality I probably really sucked. 

52. Miracle Man - Oliver Tree

Ronan came through as the miracle man Santa Claus at a party at Taylor’s for Christmas two weeks ago. Santa Keohane gave everyone at the party a Christmas gift and spread cheer throughout the basement. A lot of us wore Christmas sweaters or lights or Justin’s perfectly tiny Santa hat. 

I also spilled a lot during this party, for which I deeply apologize to Taylor as she’s had to deal with spills (usually from Drew) for years now. Bless up for the miracle woman. Taylor definitely was fighting back to this party’s hi-jinks! 

Overall it was an excellent time and thanks Santa for the extra iced tea! 

51. Songbirds - Silversun Pickups 

The last of the parties Taylor hosted involved Aaron having a crazy idea for everyone to write on my body in marker - so there I was standing there shirtless getting autographed by all of my friends including Raphy or Ronan writing Call God. I think Jordan and Mitch wrote some stuff like “poo” and “fart” I’m sure. 

Could you ask for a better situation? 

Thanks Taylor for hosting all these events - despite the phantom spill by the bar, us shouting louder than songbirds and the wild animals that show up in your stable, you continue hosting events and cleaning up after everyone throughout. It’s a truly a testament to your patience that you put up with us! Thank you! 

Warning: This next image may be too white for some audiences. 

50. Hey, Ma - Bon Iver

Hey Mom! 

The day before Canada Day, we saw Jamie Cole host a rocking party at her place. James had a very fun time at her place before, remember! 

There’s always a big flip cup game - I’m not a big fan of flip cup, I’m more of a honeycomb guy or monster cup, but the horses were in the back for this one, the people let it buck. 

We always end up in Jamie’s sun room discussing who was the best basketball player or playing Truth or Dare and it’s quite intense, usually with shouting over each other. I just remember Christian laughing at a question I was asked that was beyond dangerous. Thanks Jamie for always putting out food, decorating the place in Canadian flags and hosting a good time! 

49. Bags - Clairo

Aaron had a great idea for a different kind of party - we all wore white shirts and people wrote on other people everywhere all night. How come all of Aaron’s ideas involve writing on bodies? Well, the people at this party weren’t bodies. 

My shirt got bombarded. There was an infamous poll on the back of my shirt. Anna drew a wonderful picture of the Joker on the front and at least that was cool. Raphy kept drawing random shit on my shirt that were very descriptive in nature. 

Our shirts at the end were so savage that we’d probably need bags to hide it from the world leaving Aaron’s house. Thanks for hosting Aaron, this was definitely one of your best ideas. My shirt has a ton of bad stuff on it so here’s a sample of a good picture. Aaron also got on Barstool Alberta for doing a somersault that hurt, check that out here. 

48. Faith - Bon Iver

Do you believe in ghosts? Brenna’s Halloween party decorations made me think that maybe these Halloween creatures truly do exist. Headless Barbie dolls lined the ceiling to highlight the creepiness. 

Even Brenna’s contacts were scary, Jesus Christ. It seemed like there were at least six people, including myself, who dressed in a onesie. Smart and cheap. 

One of my highlights was Ronan, Christian, Raphy, Mike Serra and I chilling in Brenna’s garage near the end and just laughing our asses off when we realized how many things we had in common...

Thanks Brenna, you always put heart and soul into your events and it always shows! I apologize but your head here is going to be massive because I don’t have time to re-size it right now. 

47. Black Bull - Foals

If you happen to be Josh’s parents and reading this, turn away now. 

We’re about to talk about four of the five parties Josh hosted this year, so as Walter White once said, tread lightly. 

We’ll start with the one Josh held in the summertime. I had a round-the-couch discussion with Isabelle, Brooke and Anna which honestly felt like an episode of The Social. I love talking to Brooke and Anna at parties - in a world of chaos, they are a voice of reason. Our talks are also thoughtful and never fail to be interesting. They’re never like the bulls in a china shop you sometimes see at our parties. 

Nice to see Isabelle again too! I asked her about her many travels this year and it’s always good to hear how she’s doing! Congrats to her twin sister Andrea, who got engaged in 2019 as well! 

46. Descending - Tool

Descending down the Josh party rabbit hole, we arrive at Drew’s birthday party - also Kelly’s birthday - also Will’s birthday. Damn that November 17 sure is busy. 

We asked the people to full send and they absolutely did. 11pm to 4am is an absolute blur. There were massive pong games, Sam Saunders and I discussing Lord of the Rings, “demonstrations” in the main room, and maybe the most surprising thing of all, Drew wasn’t the crazy one. Drew had a long day of skiing so he was a bit tired but tried to fight through it. That didn’t stop the people calling him a body. People thought we lost Raphy halfway through the night but he was just grabbing his parents from the airport before joining on the fun. 

I woke up and Raphy was on the seat across from me at 10am. There was a bag of Munchies in front of me. I have no idea how they got there. I had to ask Anna to be our historian and answer “what exactly happened?” - good ol’ fashion fun. 

45. The End of the Game - Weezer

Our first ever edition of Friendsgiving was a massive success. The food was so damn good - Raphy brought an intricate Hawaiian looking ham feast, Ronan supplied punch for everyone. Josh made his signature mac-and-cheese. Everyone just brought their A game on the dishes. I think I just took everything and piled my plate up. Dyl even bought donair Nitza’s, VERY clutch! Those meatballs - I think I ate 40. I brought Popeyes (lol) and the people seemed pleased. 

At the end of the Oilers game, the party was back on! I had a migraine issue for this one, so big thanks to Kelly for helping grab me later on and being patient with me. SHADES! It was awesome to have such a big table eat and then be merry. It really highlighted how much of a family we can sometimes be. Ronan also led the way in dancing to ABBA later on. 

Thanks to everyone for making this work, including Josh, Ronan and Taylor for setting it all up, and maybe it’ll be a tradition going forward! Check out that action shot of Dylan eating. 

44. Wild Roses - Of Monsters and Men

We arrive at January - probably the best party I’ve ever been to. I’m not quite sure why - maybe it was the mood of the room, maybe it was the mix of people - but sometimes everything just lines up for everyone at the same time and you get a night like this.

It felt like the group was together the entire time and it went LONG without people leaving. Almost the entire party was still kicking around at 4am, which never, ever, EVER occurs. Raphy and Aaron fell asleep on the floor together but they were still present!

Thanks Josh a ton for cleaning, preparing your house and giving us the chance to have such fun opportunities like this one. There was no drama, just straight up delivered one hell of a time. I was smiling ear-to-ear on my way home.

43. Might Be Right - White Reaper

I might be right when I say that Samantha made sure we had the most comfortable party of all-time - because I absolutely approve of a pajama party.

I remember everyone tossing balloons at each other in the basement. There was some pretty good pong games with Mike Serra as my sidekick. I wore the same Pickle Rick onesie you saw in the Christmas party photos above. I’M PICKLE RICK!

Unsurprisingly, I had some good chats with Anna. I remember the boys were all playing Nintendo upstairs. Drew and I got in some sort of physical war in the basement and then we played Truth or Dare that had some very interesting positional questions. Thanks Samantha for your hard work in making that happen. PS: I don’t have a 20s costume yet, but I have ideas! Definitely think we’re going to class it up soon. 

42. Fear Inoculum - Tool

First of all, THANK YOU TOOL FOR COMING BACK! What an album! 

Next, I go into Rachel’s birthday party because she had this outside and it was a hoot. Two random people showed up at some point and started talking to Colin and Dyl for decently long time. We had some educational talks about life on the hammock from Dyl, a wonderful teacher. 

Later on, there were only a few of us left around the fire in the dark. Rachel, Raphy, Drew, Ronan, Erik, Kelly to name a few. I was dared by Ronan to somersault from one end of the yard to the other in just my underwear and I did so - and there’s video but no I won’t be posting that. Raphy, Drew and Rachel also did some hilarious dares. Boy when you think about it, truth or dare was a common theme this year. 

Thanks for hosting this Rachel, you seem to do a party every year that’s an absolute hit, inside or outside. That was a gooder! 

41. Jet Black - Anderson .Paak ft. Brandy

Samantha kept the good party ideas coming in May when she decided to do an 80s themed party. Jordan, Matias and I went to Value Village and I found this perfect 80s neon green blazer that actually ended up matching Mike Van Hoof’s jacket. 

Everyone looked splendid and retro. Samantha’s playlist was all 80s and it was straight fire. We looked like the real Breakfast Club. This party was screaming “Don’t You Forget About Me” and clearly it won’t be forgotten. 

The party ended in YOU GUESSED IT! TRUTH OR DARE! My god. Raphy fell asleep and we thought about operating him like a puppet like Weekend at Bernie’s. Weekend at Raphy’s. I kept laughing with Matty Lew at the end of the room. What a night Samantha, thanks again. As The Cure said “Just Like Heaven” 

40. Clarity - Polish Club

Jordan had a moment of clarity this year that was big time - he thought Balls Deep should make a return. The band is back together with a few new faces on board - Nat instantly became one of our best players. She’s excellent at battling along the wall and finding open spaces to score - she has 14 goals already including a key playoff goal! Brenna joined and is also tenacious on the ball - she’s improving every single game and sometimes her sister plays too! Kelsey has potted a few goals and finds me open quite often with good passes. Mike Serra is a block machine on D (Brenna too) but we tried him at forward near the end of the year and we were SO close to getting him a goal. It’s coming soon! 

Drew, Ronan, Raphy, Pam and I were back with Jordan leaving halfway to manage Dragons and Aaron subbing for a few games. Levi subbed for a game and scored a game-tying goal with 0.1 seconds left. Lindsay played a few games before getting unfairly clocked by a guy. 

Who could forget the new goalie either? Wyatt has made some big ass saves for us and gave us stability in between the pipes. You can’t spell Vezina without Zieger, I think. 

This is some of the most fun I’ve ever had playing hockey and not going to lie, I’m playing pretty well too. Don’t call Drew “Kyle Palmieri” or he’ll get pissed. We’re back in January! 

39. Now I’m In It - HAIM

This idea may have been the most original of the decade for us, never mind the year. We got all dressed up and waltzed on over to Little White School to partake in a Clue murder mystery for Samantha’s birthday. 

The clues could be found all over the property in order to narrow down and figure out who killed Christian’s sister Alex. Now I’m in it! The super sleuths took a gander outside, in vents, behind pianos etc. in a fun scavenger hunt. Afterwards, Christian’s parents came in hands loaded with food for us to munch and we ate dishes we brought as well. This was so awesome. 

Big thanks to Christian and his parents, Alex, Samantha - basically anyone who helped make it happen. We also recorded this Scooby Doo spoof, so enjoy! 

38. Piece of Your Heart - MEDUZA, Goodboys

As many of you know, I loved my dog Kosmo, who passed away two years ago. Thankfully, another dog has stolen a piece of my heart. 

Xena came home in May for us and is a tiny ball of energy. She runs faster than any dog I’ve seen, goes crazy when I come home and constantly wants to play. Other than the annoying yapping, I hope Xena is part of our lives for many years to come! 

37. Fresh Roses - Juke Ross

This song deserves a special shout out to Nat, who sent me a great playlist with this track in early summer that I used for walks and will use in the future. Nat has a bright future ahead, she’s smart and willing to help the people she cares about feel more peace and love in their lives. Her heart is in the right place and she wants this world to be a better one for herself and others. 2020 will be a fulfilling year for Nat, I have no doubt about it. 

When I think of fresh roses, I think of Kelly, Matias and I having big time adventures around St. Albert and Edmonton. We explored every tree, plant, political office (Lol) and pond. We found a duck-feeding haven, circled Beaumaris Lake and unveiled the lost side of Grandin. We even shot a few arrows and lost them - well, except one. Matias said “AIM HIGHER” so I did...I shot so far that it landed by the welcome sign to Poundmaker - probably won’t be doing that ever again! Here’s a picture of a hole I almost stepped in by the duck pond only to find there was a water vole peaking its head from beneath. 

36. Home - Caribou

The explorations of Matias, Kelly and I continued at the Muttart Conservatory right before it closed for a long, long time. I had never been and it’s quite beautiful there - lots of funky displays and flowers with weird ass names I’ve never heard of. There was also a DJ spinning beats to absolutely nobody, which was really odd. We decided to unleash our “inner Alvina” and take some glamour photos outside by the pyramids. The results were stunning. This is our home boys. 

35. RNP - YBN Cordae, Anderson .Paak

For those of you who don’t know yet, I am the new producer of The Basketball Show with host Paul Sir and an expert at booking guests in Brian Swane on TSN 1260, airing Saturdays from 10am - 12am. I took over for Shane Clausing, a friend of mine who is trying his luck as a news and sports anchor in Grand Prairie. I’m very excited to be back on a regular show and I look forward to following the NBA and March Madness even harder than before! I’ve already done a few shows and I helped edit a podcast for 3x3 basketball with FIBA that should be available soon! 

You can listen to past shows, and sometimes hear my voice, here. 

34. Harmony Hall - Vampire Weekend

It sure felt like the weather was in harmony with Matias and I when we headed out for a day trip to Calgary. 

It started out as a beautiful day in the Calgary Zoo and most of the animals came out to play. I loved the penguins and bears like usual but the playful monkeys (the colobus babies especially) really impress. The zoo has a great variety of animals to never disappoint. 

After that, we hit Heritage Park and the Gasoline Alley Museum. The vintage cars are hilarious. I especially loved the old-style fur trading post, the original Polar Express called the Caterpillar and the boat that went around the lake that surrounded the park. It’s very similar to Fort Edmonton but has a few tricks up its sleeve to be different. 

When the rain finally hit, we found a literal hole-in-the-wall restaurant called Ten Foot Henry, only marked by a sign with a cartoon baby’s face on it outside. We walk in and it’s PACKED but they give us the best seat in the house across hell’s kitchen. The apple cider, spaghetti, salmon and dessert is delectable. I can’t recommend this place more. They even give you a postcard at the end for coming in. 

We ended the trip with a lap around the beautiful Prince Island Park. This day put all other days to shame with the amount we accomplished. Matias, thanks for driving and coming with me on a day that felt like a week in the best way possible. 

33. Coincide - Catfish & The Bottlemen

Every June from the past three years coincided with a rendezvous out to Mount Robson for a big group camping trip. This year, we brought out some big dick energy. Lots of Shell Nitro and Diesel spilled all over the grounds. Erik at one point said “I’m everyone’s dad.” “No where are my REAL friends?” 

I’m shocked there were no bears because there was food and beer all over the ground. People could just ransack the ground and grab enough to live and party for weeks. 

In 1995, Michael Jordan said I’M BACK. It was a true Cinderella story. I love the fresh air though, it’s better than when stuff stinks. To throw an abbreviation out there, MMSF. A lot of this won’t make any sense. 

32. Longshot - Catfish & The Bottlemen

More Robson: That poor rental car from Pogo just got straight abused. 

James’ car got toilet papered inside and out. Kelly, James and I adventured into Jasper and ate some damn good pizza. Saucer King while looking at the mountain above is still sweet. Raphy and I almost died on the way back. I also loved when the Hoe Squad did a recap lunch at Jasper Pizza only for us to come home and hit OJs immediately for a recap dinner. 

I wish there was only one fire, but I enjoyed sitting around with Mitch, Scott, Jordan, Will, Erik and others still. Of course, TRUTH OR DARE happened. 

Big thanks to Rachel for making this happen. When I booked it the first year, I thought it was a long shot for it to happen again but instead Rachel came in and made the trips even better. I definitely approve of more camping in 2020! Also, here is a picture of sleepy Flem. 

31. Mover Awayer - Hobo Johnson

The other big trip away that we go on as a group is in Banff. Let’s start by summarizing Friday: 

We met Johnny, the local idiot, who at one point I saw jump into a snowy bush. A bunch of us hit the bowling alley and got loaded. Raphy and I probably had the worst IPA ever. Drew somehow still found his way to the Sasquatch. We threw snowballs at each other and another cabin’s window. Josh was in one and woke up his entire cabin. We had a nice circle outside Hidden Ridge form in the middle of the road and hung out there for an hour or so. Dylan Larkin scored a sick goal. Matias caught us destroying his bed for a second. Matt had a fun moment during the Voting Game. I only heard about Hot Seat and didn’t participate but it sounded saucy.  

It was a great start to a superb mountain jaunt. 

30. Breaking Down - The Black Keys

Saturday in Banff is when we break down and go bananas. It’s Sasquatch Night! 

Raphy is out there on the dance floor tapping shoulders. At one point he tapped Amy’s shoulder, Amy said “Hey Raphy what?” and he forgot he had done it and was confused. Aaron fell asleep, woke back up and chugged a time machine in the funniest snap of 2019. Jordan would finish his drinks and just leave them on the ground and walk away. We met a girl who swore she knew Sean Monahan and Jake Virtanen better than ahem, most. Pick two. Sewer. Too short. 

Pacini was a staple, again. Will brought the funny remarks. Mike Serra was a bro and bought me a time machine. Colin and I lost at pong and had to do the shot ski. Matty Lew pulled a Grandpa Simpson. Hank found his long-lost best friend and they found peace...I think that’s happened right? 

Big thanks to Aaron for throwing this all on his credit card and taking the leap of faith that people will pull through - it always takes balls but the man delivers. 

29. Are You Bored Yet? - Wallows, Clairo

I included this song just to see if you’ve read this far and haven’t yawned yet. 

My grandparents are never boring. They’re always fun to be around and make Kaitlin, Lilly and I laugh all the time. They’re coming over for Christmas dinner (probably right when I post this) and Grandma is bringing her famous perogies (which are also famous because of Bernice). I’m pumped! 

My Uncle Greg & Kim are also coming, where I expect my uncle to mention he already found this blog on the internet and ask when I’m finally going to buck up and get the car to replace the Fit. 

Grandma, Grandpa, Greg and Kim, I love you all. Thanks for being there for me and for being great people to look up to for all of these years. XOXOXO. 

28. Lo/Hi - The Black Keys

Work has many highs and lows - one of the high points is definitely working with any of the TSN 1260 crew. 

Eric and I read menus and hung out at The Canadian Brewhouse a lot, one of my favorite shifts to ever do. He’s engaged now, congrats to him and Dani! Tyler and I rep SACHS while he shows me how to hit the audio with a classic soft knee. Matty Iwanyk is one of the nicest and most helpful guys you’ll ever meet - I had fun doing Eskimos shows with him. Hernan always sees me and says “Klak Daddy”, Connor Halley and I talk about how he endures the pain of being a Chargers fan and he recommends our circle goes house-boating ASAP. Lowetide thought I didn’t know Citizen Kane but I really didn’t know the other 90% of references he tossed out while I produced his show. I enjoyed our car rides talking about the Oilers to the station like a pre-show. Dusty finds ways to get me involved more and I always appreciate when he shouts me out on morning broadcasts on location. Dean Millard is no longer there but the chemistry we found on Sports Night really helped me learn radio and he gets tons of credit. Dave Jamieson is the quote king and probably the most wise person ever. 

If you don’t know, I also produce lots of Edmonton Oil Kings games and work with Corey Graham + Andrew Peard often. They’re super funny, patient dudes that make my job a lot more fun and they completely take away the pressures of a live game. Professionals. Guy Flaming was also funny and I’ll be listening to his WJC preview. 

Of course, don’t forget Wyatt, my compadre and secret lover (sorry man I had to tell them) at this station and Shane bringing the real sugar. Both of these guys have good careers ahead - people really love Wyatt + Tyler’s new AJHL show as they should. 

27. Everything Else Has Gone Wrong - Bombay Bicycle Club

I do more than just TSN at Bell, so there’s other work people to acknowledge. 

I’ll mention Chris later, YOU CAN WAIT. Levi keeps it real “ummm SIRRRR”. Declan and I talk football like it’s religion (because it is) and Garrett and I discuss Seattle’s chances to win every week it seems. Montana tells you how it is and I actually never know what she’s going to say but I know it’ll be hilarious. Alex is ambitious and going to do some cool shit with music. Dwayne is my top sports conspiracy theorist and I loved talking basketball and Oilers with him. I may have worked my last shift ever with Nash, which means less work philosophy chats and shifts going to absolute shit for the weirdest reasons. I just trigger Tora by saying her favorite bands are trash. Ty and I talk Oilers and then he gives me a disapproving look if I talk about other things because he knows I’m wacky. Evan and I never went on those K-Days rides and it haunts me. Ben had to endure me talking for long truck rides and Mickey and I talked GoT. 

I shared a few laughs with my bosses Terry, Nikita and Liz at different times - Nikita called me the street team oracle, which is absolutely accurate. Zac is now a father, big congrats to his new addition to the family and condolences to his Steelers. Also, congrats to Christyne, who moved to the UK and will eventually find Hogwarts and live there I’d bet. 

Bernard moved to Fort St. John and we talk industry all the time. Tony, Josh and Brenden are killing it with the Oilers, Oil Kings and Oilers Now respectively - long careers ahead. Sarah is now a promo coordinator at Stingray, well deserved for a great person. Cooper, sorry about the Panthers man. Mariah’s dog is sick and I slightly butchered her show once but she’s still cool as a cucumber. I see you Teagan! Isabelle is finishing school and will ace that! Ian & Chelsea are nailing their new hosting roles and Chelsea was on Big Brother! McCord bought me a Rick & Morty tray that I will use very soon! Scott is on an airplane a lot and travelling in a dream. Hannah sounds great on Play 107, Brayden sounds great on Now and CK/Shannon are making it big in Ontario. Kat and I are already at the stage where we basically get super personal and I can say offensive jokes. Violent P...great song! Edgy! I hear everyone rave about Kelsey’s lashes work, honestly I do. Ray Chambers, this guy is THE MAN and taught me so much!  

I still keep track of hosts in my building, NAIT peeps and ex-work people - there’s so many to name. Tesla texted me from Toronto for my birthday and it seems like JVCED is doing some real cool shit. I still see Darren from time-to-time for a hug and Carlos always seems like he’s having a blast - same could be said for Maria living an uplifting life. Jesse is still incredibly friendly and Craig talks Leafs with me on Twitter. Kris got a new job, Denaya is engaged! Meggan and I reminiscence about the good ol days. I ran into Emily at Fringe and she’s always doing something interesting and full of artistic vision. Toby, JRob, Warren, Matt D, Tom - all super chill nice guys I love running into at the station or Brewhouse or when they find my $100 bill. JRyan, Lorenz + Stacie always seem busy in Lloyd, Fort Mac and at Sony. Tyson was in St. A and his YouTube game is still strong. Nate is on a morning show now. ICU is stronger than ever for Rob and Kevin may video my wedding someday. Boris, mic drop. Janessa was on the other side of the fence for an Oil Kings game once leading me through the building this time! 

There’s remotes with Pam where we shoot the shit, ran into Kathy a few times, Jesse W and I talking radio or him staring me down as creepily as possible or shit disturbing, Cruise with his dog and Britt when we talk movies and Tinder dates - man there’s too many people to mention! I definitely didn’t list them all, but thanks to everyone helping me along the way in my career, especially when everything goes wrong! 

26. Circles - Post Malone

I told Ronan at first I hated this song. Oops. 

Lilly can draw circles pretty well! My little sister is learning every day and just had her first Christmas concert. She still never stops talking and consistently has the energy to do whatever. Lilly can read now and gets excited from anything that comes her way in life - it’s a great quality to keep. They grow up so fast...

Merry Christmas Lilly! Enjoy your new LeapPad! 

25. This Life - Vampire Weekend

KAITLIN THIS POINT IS ABOUT YOU - there now you can’t miss it! 

My older sister had to go through some hard things this year but came through stronger than ever before - she never lost her spirit and will and got to still hit up Montreal, Las Vegas and BC. Kaitlin is also nailing school as she joins her brother in the Ook squad and her Dill Pickle Doodles are extremely cute. She’s going on a big trip in 2020 to Australia and Singapore and I’m a bit jealous - that’s pretty sick. She also got me back into John Oliver and I needed that in this life. 

Merry Christmas Kaitlin and MIke! “Fist bump” Grandma: “Ouch” 

24. Light Years - The National 

I feel the teachers and students in education are way ahead of me in life - a lot of them have jobs and heavy responsibility to shape the future of our society. 

Raphy, Rachel, Matias, Levi - lots of friends either starting their careers or full on teaching already. Raphy already taught grade one! Rachel is teaching grade five! 

Amy just graduated and is ready to teach our kids how to go full sicko mode. Let em know please. 

Braydon has already lived with the responsibility of driving us kids all around - and we are absolutely kids in the car with him. Thank you Braydon, it’s always under appreciated! 

Dyl is going to be that wise uncle one day that gathers around all the kids and teaches them with the wag of a finger. He’ll be a fun teacher to have. 

Knowing Eve, I’d love to sit in her class just to see her give a deserving annoying kid the business. 

Emily would teach her kids how to win in sports gambling starting in high school - always bet on Harvard! 

Miss Dugan’s class likely would be perfect for Lilly - Shannon always comes up with cool crafts or projects for her kids to do and with her kindness and patience, I’d be 100% confident she’d make Lilly enjoy class a ton. Au Revoir Dugs. 

Andrea is absolutely killing it - she finished a bunch of her schooling early and has already helped create key resources for our teachers to use in their classrooms today. DAISY WON YAY!!! Her long-time boyfriend Mike also got a big time job in Fort Mac and still had time to send me a picture of a plane from his desk. Keep enjoying that Costa Rica sun! 

23. RUNAWAY - half-alive

Matty Lew is the runaway winner for most quotable of my friends. When he’s not losing it over a video game, he’ll show up mid-party in full Blade Runner gear or comes to play pool and never fails to create laughter. 

The way Matt tells stories is so unique and hilarious that people basically just adopted it like a character. I find myself saying stuff like Matt all the time. Drew does, Rachel does, Ronan does. I’m 99% sure he started people saying “that’s gas” but Erik claims he may have also started it. 

There’s a quote about doing something “briefly” that made me cry. 

“Say goodnight, say hello to Lord Stanley” - after CBJ acquired Duchene. At least they finally won a playoff round but I’m going to sleep on them just fine Matt. 

22. Summer Girl - HAIM

Kelsey, there probably wasn’t a song on your top playlist that I’d have this high lol - but you still may enjoy this one. 

Kelsey is a key piece of all of our friends hangouts - she’s willing to talk to anyone, she’s fun to be around and a good sport when you rip on her for having Calvin de Haan on her fantasy team. Why??? 

She also said goodbye to her car but she didn’t give it to me for free, which is a shame. Respect women! I hope you don’t hurt your knee again this year. Also, please post another YouTube video, we are begging you. 

21. Pretty Please - Allan Rayman

Brooke, you’re still on speed dial for anything Disney but you had a much bigger year than I did. BROOKE GOT ENGAGED! That’s so sweet! YOU GOT YOUR OWN HOUSE! Jesus Christ what didn’t you do? 

YOU’RE EVEN IN THE GAZETTE LIKE EVERY WEEK! 

While you’re surfing waves in Hawaii, keep thinking of ways to pave the way for everyone else to start adulting, please. You also listen to me rant a lot and our conversations are deep and satisfying, so thank you for that. 

Anna, as I’ve referenced in this article plenty, you and I end up talking at basically every party and the topics go all over the map but why not? You seem to have knowledge about everything and you’re a compass for me to figure out where the hell to go next. I respect your opinion a lot. Considering how many dumb things I say or bad jokes I try to pull off, you haven’t had to slap me in the face...yet...

20. Maybe You’re The Reason - The Japanese House

Brian I didn’t pick this song for you because it has Japanese in the artist name, I swear it just happened that way...

Maybe you’re the reason why I randomly get hungry when I check my Instagram though because you post delicious shit all the time. 

I thought our lunch at Jack’s was the “last supper” but even though you’ve moved to Cold Lake, you still come back and visit or join hangouts and I think that’s pretty neat. 

I hope you haven’t had to...ahem...shoulder a big load with your new job, because it’d definitely fall off. We’ve come a long way already “I Don’t Wanna Know starts playing” OH COME ON CHANGE THE ORDER MAN! May you and your fingernail find luck in 2020. 

19. When Am I Gonna Lose You - Local Natives

I hope I don’t lose the Serras as friends although if I kick Mike’s ass in fantasy enough times, he may get frustrated ;) 

Not only do Mike and Samantha organize a ton of fun shit for us to do, they’re also high quality human beings. They’re two of the nicest people you’ll ever come across! 

Mike also posted last night Snap stories of his entire family getting lit and dancing in the basement, which gives me hope that we’ll be partying long into our old age too. I also usually wave at Sam while saying hi for basically no reason but I didn’t notice it until she pointed it out and it’s funny. I am standing right beside her and still waving like HEY LOOK HERE! Both of them also have a great sense of humor and great laughs. See you guys in 2019, and then again in 2020. Also Mike - love the hat in this photo man. 

18. You Had Your Soul With You - The National 

Chris probably knows my soul inside out at this point - if you think this is a novel, imagine what Chris has to hear when I stay inside his studio for four hours a day AFTER my work shift is over. Jesus Christ. To be fair, his studio is a party at all hours of the day, everyone goes in there. 

Chris is a really nice guy so he drives me home from work often even though he moved into his own place in North Edmonton and I pay him back sometimes in Mercato soda. I always remind him he can ask for more but he doesn’t take it.  Chris also went on a big tour with his band Alleviate in a van and it sounds like he may have had scurvy and plague by the end like a Mayflower survivor. 

There’s a reason why people just come in droves to Chris’ studio though - he’s hilarious yet can give you a good real honest take if you need one. This guy gets it in a world where many don’t. We also go WAY over the line and lots can’t be posted. I’ll just say the guy knows how to use Photoshop adeptly. Time to pull out the JVC for the holidays and try to survive the grim reaper once again eh? 

17. It Doesn’t Matter Why - Silversun Pickups

It doesn’t matter how or why you got there Shaye, it’s that you made it my man! I suspect you’ll continue rising in Toronto and then move to Arizona and then make a quick side trip to Edmonton and pack me in your suitcase. 

Shaye does video, social media and graphics for the Toronto Rock in the NLL, which means he gets to travel with the team to new places and apparently also allows him time to win our fantasy football pool while he’s at it. 

It doesn’t matter how much shit is thrown on him - Shaye finds a way to swim through it (unless it’s the AquaWall lol). He even visited me in the summer and let me drive his now sold Kia Rio. Well here you go Shaye - plenty of new songs to go through now for the first time, enjoy my friend!  

16. In Your Head - Nilufer Yanya

Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. 

Considering I also mentioned you earlier, that’s EIGHT times you greedy dick. 

When it comes to hockey knowledge in your head, only Matt Mosewich and I stand above the rest - he probably knows more about me on prospects but don’t tell him that. If you had Matt and I heading a scouting department and working together, we’d dominate the NHL I guarantee. 

BRRRRROOOOOOBBBEEERRRGGGG. Dammit. 

The Oilers now make Matt sad like they did for me years ago, the belief wavers. 

Matt is part of a TV Saskatchewan gang with Kyle, Connor and his GF and Katherine - Matt still lives with Kyle today. Kyle please send me some movie suggestions that are coming of age and not shit....heavy on the NOT SHIT part though. Also Kyle, your IG bio is “power user of the Internet” - explain. Katherine, how was that 8-6 game in Toronto? Looked awesome when Matt and I watched from Hudson’s. Connor, how’s life as Matt’s best friend? 

Matt use that Brewhouse coupon wisely, I had to fight a bear like Leo to get that. 

15. Giving Up - Whitney 

Brenna did the absolute opposite of that this year despite 2019 being a shit-storm 24/7. Anything that could go wrong WENT WRONG for her and she still came out laughing somehow. Her store is always a task, her cars handed multiple problems to her, life gave her pain and made her pay for it - but she kicked her way out of the hole. That’s one of Brenna’s best qualities though - she goes “well shit this is brutal” but then is like “oh well, lets party” - she is strong and fights through it. 

Brenna always has something to say, like myself. We do a good job at trading off between who is listening to each other’s bullshit on a given day. If you believe in yin/yang, then 2020 will be Brenna’s best year ever. Let’s hope so for your sake! 

14. On The Luna - Foals

It felt like Christi was on the moon because she was so far away most of the year. Czyz now lives in Germany, which is apparently party central. 

Speaking of the moon, Christi and I talked almost every day this year at night. I’m a night owl so going to bed is hard and it’s even harder when you have an awesome friend to chat with on the other side of the planet. I feel like I know Germany’s clock by heart now. 

Christi somehow is owning it in her profession despite spending so much time listening to my wacky theories and life going-to-shit moments, hell I may be the only thing in her way to stopping an eventual zombie apocalypse someday. She’ll be trying to cure the infection while I’m like “OMG guess what, I hung out with Raphy today and it was fun!” typed over three FB messages AND SHE’LL RESPOND...maybe with a Joker meme! 

She’s back for a bit in Canada (ewww right???) and I’m excited to see her again face-to-face. I’m very fortunate to have someone in my life as smart, witty and insightful as Christi Czyz. 

13. Giannis - Freddie Gibbs, Anderson .Paak

Drew likes GIANNIS. 

Drew will never shut up, he’ll talk until I want to kick the shit out of him and despite that, he calls ME the motor mouth. Brutal. 

But I always come back for more because he’s fun to be around and party with. I also enjoy the challenge of debating Skip. At least he lost in fantasy this year in both sports. We’d never hear the end of it. 

Jesse Puljujarvi might be a bust Drew, you may be right. If you throw enough shit at the wall, sometimes it sticks! 

When the gloves are off and the fight is over, Drew does have my back and I have his. We had plenty of Skype conversations about life and laughed through the problems. He’s the life of the party - every story seems to be about him because the people all want to be with him.  Sometimes it’s because you want to see a guy who is in one do the dumbest thing possible and Drew is very good at that. I can already picture the Taylor and Colin eye rolls when Drew opens his mouth. He’s an entertainer alright.

12. NO HALO - Brockhampton

I didn’t play one game of Halo this year, shit! 

This may be because I found myself less at Evan’s house this year so we couldn’t witness James on Jackbox putting up a genius answer that is totally G rated. 

This is a good thing though because it means Evan was busy and truly going somewhere in life. He’s worked hard at both school and in a few job roles. His boyfriend Minh is a nice, funny dude who has been a cool addition to our game nights. We still mixed in a few breakfasts - the last one in July I think where we also got visited by a very interesting religious group by St. Albert Place. Evan is still a go-to guy for life talks and is probably the most honest person I know. We’ve been through our own personal battles each and came out victorious. 

I’m sorry it wasn’t a BTS song Evan, I just can’t get into them! Also, I know you didn’t win last night but STOP WINNING AT CATAN PLEASE! This is Smash Bros all over again, you put me into retirement lol. 

11. Have Mercy - YBN Cordae

Christian check out this song, I think you’ll like it. 

Christian and I saw Apollo 11 in theaters, debated movies to their core, played Mass Effect at 2 a.m. and smashed Rock Band guitars in the parking lot of Alliance church while the song from the Office Space fax machine scene played in the background. 

Hanging with Christian is great because you get a good mix of college hoops talk (North Carolina SUCKS), philosophy, theories, gaming...he’s a well-rounded person and always has something interesting to say or recommend. On top of that, he’s a valuable friend willing to lend his ear to your troubles. 

Also, guys guess what? He’s brown! I just learned this! 

10. Moderation - Florence + The Machine

Fun fact: Did you know Mitch likes instrumental tracks? Jazz? Rob Thomas? The guy doesn’t only listen to tracks that his bands Valyria or Sunscapes produce. He may moderately like this one if he hears it on CBC Radio. 

He did just leave the recording studio for Sunscapes and that track is rumored to be a lock for the 2020 Top 100. Mitch and I also still do drives but it’s harder now because he lives in CALGARY! That’s right - Mitch got into the U of Calgary and now is completing his Master of Planning course. That’s very big time. 

Follow him at @mitchdrums on Instagram to get drum solos. I also think he has a very perceptive look at the world and I always enjoy hearing what he has to say. 2020 is a fresh start and a big year for Mr. Stykalo. 

9. Living in Lightning - City & Colour 

Jordan is the ONE person who will phone you up if he wants to talk to you - hell he phoned me to talk about Mike Smith last weekend while I was exiting my front door on my way to HIS house. He shares a place by the way with Ally’s brother Josh. 

Jordan is a very funny guy who finds himself in the weirdest scenarios sometimes and many seem to involve cars - like the story where he likely sold his vehicle to meth dealers. He is the king at getting stuck in random bullshit like he’s living in lightning. His orange truck broke down twice in random places. The Astro Van died in deep BC. When you hang out with Jordan, you don’t know what’ll happen but it’ll always be a good story. 

If it’s a party, Jordan always sends it even if there’s consequence the next day. I expect Lindsay and him to get absolutely wrecked in Banff. Jordan is also on the “Jesus Christ Why Oilers” bandwagon with me - we talk a lot about this train wreck of a team. I don’t sense that changing. 

8. White Onions - Foals

Kelly and I have been friends now for like, 17 years. That’s incredible when you think about it. It started with a few friendly games of Cops and Robbers and a birthday party at Putters Edge, and now we’re still at OJs discussing Game of Thrones and Star Wars in depth. 

The Kings suck ass and so do the Oilers. Dammit. At least you can get your frustrations out through Dead by Daylight. 

Thanks Kelly for your patience when I needed it a few times this year - you drove me to parties out of your way and it’s always you who texts me if you notice I’m missing at one. I’m also pretty sure we killed Big Bird. 

7. Difficult Love - City & Colour

I think I talked about Alex Matias a ton already in this blog - maybe more than anyone else. We hung out maybe the most of any of my friends - whether it was driving to Rec Room on the Southside or checking out the new reservoir in Erin Ridge after a Tim Hortons run (and Kelly was there for a lot of this too) - you provided me opportunities to get out and add to this list. 

We both had challenges this year but we got through them man - I sense some big things coming for you in 2020, whether that’s moving to Toronto or California or going on a sweet vacation or whatever it may be. 

Let’s do it again as long as you’re in this town. 

6. Rylan - The National 

I was messaging Aaron while typing this post and trying to get it done so he can sit his ass by his tree and READ THIS! His last message was “raccoon” and only we will know the context of that. 

Aaron and I messaged each other so much this year that there was a day when we didn’t and Flem just went “hey...sorry it was weird we didn’t say anything yet” and I was like “Damn straight son” 

Most of our chats would get us on a list somewhere. Followed by a Patrick Star GIF. Wait a second....remember GIF? 

Aaron and I at this point are like two old grumpy men. Everything is shit, hell we’ll shit on each other, and neither of us really care. We’ll just go back to messaging each other “poo” and “ass”. Aaron explored Japan this year and also canoed in the rain like a mad man. This man works hard and has a big heart. Fart. 

And now for a sensationalized Buzzfeed headline: DOEZ DONALD TRUMP MEANZ LESS BEYOND MEATZ FOR CANCER AIDS? - sigh. 

5. Megaton Mile - Local Natives

Amber I meant THESE local natives! 

I love chilling out with Amber. She laughs at everything - the good, the bad and the ugly. Our conversations get so off tangent and wild but it always ends up making me smile. Amber had a big year - she graduated and now she’s a software developer and full-time cat mother. She has the CODE to success - get it! Dad jokes! 

Amber is a very kind-hearted person and is so easy to talk to. It’s the Winter of Wolinski! It always comes around right before the Summer of....wait....

I still have 1 Mike’s in the fridge right? Save it for me PLEASE!  

4. Alligator - Of Monsters and Men 

Ronan, Raphy, I noticed we’re using a lot less code words recently - either because we’re maturing or a lot of the stuff we’d hide is now out in the open. No clue, OR maybe it’s just such a normal part of our language now. 

There’s still GBT, sitting in it, stinky, Wild Sloth, SATC (you’ll have to ask me what that means), metallic rectangle used for storage - and all of the classics too. 

Raphy and I talked so much in his CR-V that we actually made it die. AMA had to come and pick it up at 3am off my street. In Banff, Raphy and I sent it together, locked and loaded. 

Ronan is “Marshall” on my phone and on Facebook because I’m Ted Mosby and they’re best friends. We had tons of trips to get food and it takes no effort to make each other laugh. When Ronan starts smiling, I lose it. Also, Bing! 

Both guys remain patient as hell with me and they get me. It doesn’t matter what the issue is, they just get it. I’m allowed one F bomb as per PG-13 rules and I’ll use it here. 

These guys are the fucking best.  

3. Eat, Sleep, Wake (Nothing But You) - Bombay Bicycle Club

I usually reserve this spot for apologies, but I want to flip that around this year. 

I want to thank you all for caring enough to read this top 100. I want to thank you for having the patience, kindness and ability to forgive when I’ve wronged you, or been a dick, or overall caused an inconvenience. Without family & friends, I would have nowhere near the life I have today. It’s you that allows me to learn from mistakes and be a better person. 

Some of you who are reading and aren’t in it much - I’d love to hang more! There are some people I dearly miss doing things with and talking to, more than they’ll ever know. There are others I’d like to know a lot better. Reach out! I will try to be better with that as well in 2020. 

2. Good Luck - Broken Bells 

I was thinking the other day on my way to the station - “How lucky am I to have the chance at doing exactly what I wanted to do?” 

My parents do everything they can to support my dreams and are there with me every step of the way. 

Thanks Mom, Thanks Dad - it’s your guidance, leadership and love that shapes who I am. You are my role models and I’m extremely proud to say that. 

Merry Christmas Mom, JD, Lilly!

Merry Christmas Dad, Lorelei and the girls! 

1. Borderline - Tame Impala

It’s time to live life a bit more on the edge - we’re on the borderline. 

Thanks for reading! Have a spectacular 2020! 

[bus-trash]

Peathers: Why Does Veronica Make Her Choice?

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR ENTIRE PEATHERS SERIES IN THIS POST. If you are on the fence about watching it or not, I strongly recommend at least watching two or three episodes before deciding. I have links if anyone needs them.

.

.

“My entire life, I’ve always had someone talking at me, telling me what I’m supposed to think and feel and do. My parents, little dead Lucy, Heather Chandler, and now you.”

Grace Victoria Cox’s Veronica Sawyer is definitely one of the most mind-boggling protagonists in a drama series I’ve recently watched. Capricious, obsessive, and a bit hypocritical, for me she’s the most challenging and inconsistent character. Since watching the series’s shocking finale, I keep coming back to her character’s final moments alive, lying beside JD on the dusty boiler room floor, on the verge of a terrible decision. As she reconnects the explosive’s wires, what is it her character really wants, is aiming for? After some thought, I think I understand how I interpret Veronica’s character throughout the series. For the record, I still think she’s written in a way that’s pretty inconsistent, but this is my best effort.

The best way to break down Peathers’s Veronica Sawyer is with three basic principles. One: She doesn’t want to just move past labels, but prove to everyone she’s past them. Two: Her love with JD for her transcends labels. Three: JD’s murderous path does not ultimately transcend labels. It’s only a symptom of the system.

Veronica’s motivations are broadcasted with her first dialogue scene. She sits down with Mrs. Fleming, who asks her who she wants to be. Veronica answers that she’s “a good person.” When Veronica says she’s a good person, she’s not truthfully describing herself (We can clearly see through the series she murders and manipulates when it serves herself.), but she is describing a part of her motivation. Because she recognizes everyone at Westerburg as a bad person (The students and adults all participate in a system that drives students to violence and suicide.), her desire to think of herself as a good person is her way of saying, “I’m not like everybody else.”

The show makes a very clear point to show that this desire of Veronica to think of herself as a good person is so strong that it’s why she murders Lucy as a child, a Heather-Chandler-like bossy girl who sings, “You’re not, you’re not, you’re not,” telling Veronica she isn’t really her own unique person, a “good person,” but just as bad as everyone else. Veronica wants to be thought of as different so badly she will kill for it, which is why she strikes Lucy with a croquet mallet.

Her seething looks towards her parents in episode nine show how much she feels like they don’t see her for her, and just stick her in a box. Clearly this anger about the question of who she is goes way back.

But she doesn’t really want to be thought of as “a murderer,” so her outburst doesn’t truly solve the problem. It silences it for a short while, and Veronica grows up still in this pressure.

We meet Veronica when she’s in high school, and her main strategy to society’s, and Mrs. Flemming’s, constant questions about identity is to be close to Heather Chandler. She still expresses herself a little bit (with her clothes, even when Heather C calls them “Banana Republic,” and other style choices), and she doesn’t have to bear the actual weight of the label of “Heather,” so it’s a decent compromise. The only problem is, she has to be with a girl who constantly labels her.

“You’re nothing.” “Well, at least l’m a good person.” ”A good person? Grow up, Veronica. You’re Panera. You’re Sbarro. You’re Cheesecake Factory.”

Just like Lucy, Heather Chandler constantly suppresses Veronica’s desire to be whatever she wants to be, and not a label. Hence why in the first episode, Veronica fantasizes about burying her in the ground. “I just wish Heather would die so I can finally be free.”

When Veronica and JD kill Heather, it’s representative of putting a stop to Westerburg’s constant labeling and belittling of its students. Only problem is, it doesn’t work. Even in the first episode, Heather Duke and Betty Finn spar in Chandler’s absence for the privilege of being the school’s next big labeler. When Heather Chandler returns in episode two, it symbolizes that nothing at Westerburg will change. Whether Chandler lives or dies, the essential problem of how its students are treated by each other and by society will continue.

For Veronica, JD is a potential solution. He adores her, is jealous of “every drop of rain that gets to fall on [her] cheek.” He knows that she’s not just what Westerburg thinks she is. JD is the only character who sees Veronica as she craves to be seen–as something not basic, weak, or even popular, but someone amazing. Someone special. (Veronica likely feels that Betty Finn, even in her more genuine moments, still views Veronica as weak in a way or as part of Westerburg’s system of power.)

But JD’s love isn’t perfect. In episode two, Veronica is clearly disappointed when she flaunt’s her murderous act to JD (something atypical about her) and he’s oblivious to her true meaning, still seeing her as more basic than she really is. In episode three, Veronica becomes upset with JD’s growing nonchalance and how his political ramblings seem more important to him than she does. That he skips Heather McNamara’s funeral is a big point of contention. She can’t feel special through JD if he doesn’t show up. When she tells JD she likes how her date with Ram “felt normal,” I interpret she’s saying that his intense antipathy towards Westerburg isn’t solving the problem–it’s only illustrating it. The only real way to solve it is to care about her in a straightforward but passionate way, not to be some rebellious hero.

Veronica’s character veers off the deep end in episodes four through six. When JD handles the problem of Betty’s suspicions, I personally saw it as doing whatever it takes in his job in the context of his murderous relationship. However, Veronica doesn’t see it this way and sees his kiss as a betrayal. She sort of has a point–there was never any real danger of anyone believing Betty when she went to the cops. When Veronica blows up JD’s car and has him committed, she’s punishing him for underestimating her. For Veronica, the solution to her problems is for JD to put her first, period. All other plots and schemes come second. This is because what sets them free isn’t that they’re murderers. That is a label. What sets them free is the way they see each other. That goes beyond labels. They love each other as full human beings.

“Dear Diary: You have to hand it to America. We can even take something like teen suicide, wrap it in a pretty package, and sell it to the highest bidder. God, I’m starting to sound like JD. But so what? He’s the only one who makes any sense anymore. And you know what? I don’t care if what I’m about to say is so high school, it makes you upchuck: Our love is the only thing left that’s real. You can’t turn it into a poster or sell it to anyone with fifty bucks to spend, because it’s ours. Everything else is just photoshop.”

Thankfully, JD is only turned on by the extreme lengths Veronica goes to. JD values violence as a means to strike back against and potentially change society. At the beginning of episode seven, their love is at its height. Veronica never sees a world in which JD cares about something that isn’t her, and JD thinks that Veronica will be by his side as he moves towards not just killing Heather, but killing Westerburg, and thus ending all Heathers in America. This bliss only lasts the episode, however–the remaining episodes will prove them both wrong.

When Veronica decides to murder Mr. Waters, she’s largely already gotten what she wants. But she knows that Westerburg as a whole is still sick and wants to honor Heather McNamara’s memory as someone who wasn’t able to transcend the labels and ways the school got to her, including Mr. Water’s predatory behavior. While I think Veronica enjoys aspects of murder, she knows it’s not an end to her problems–as an act of violence it’s symptomatic of the system, and also just brings on her another label. At the end of episode seven, she tells JD that they’re past it, that they’re going to be something else now.

That isn’t enough for JD. And when he indicates he’s not taking her to prom, she realizes something she perhaps knew subconsciously all along: His love for her doesn’t overpower the way he labels himself with violence and antisocial behavior. She considers him a Heather–someone who wants to play his role (the “bad boy”) but doesn’t truly want to be something different.

Her decision in episode eight to recommit to the Heathers baffled me on first viewing, but in hindsight, Veronica’s character recognizes the bizarrely eternal meaning of prom: What happens there is what she will be forever. If she cannot be special by being there with JD, she’ll do the next best thing. And that’s being back to square one: powerful alongside the Heathers. Still kind of labeled, but it could be worse.

It’s Heather Chandler and JD’s ensuing actions that push her over the edge. First, JD murders Heather Duke, her last closest semblance to a friend, to serve his plan. Second, Heather Chandler has no reservations about stepping over Duke’s dead body for the prom crown. Veronica cannot stand to be along for the ride with either of their ways, both of which she views as corrupted and ultimately selfish. She has to go alone.

During the final episode, Veronica comes to a final decision about how she will and will not be labeled forever. She’s first stupified by JD’s plan, which is inherently much more radical and less humanistic than her usual philosophy. But when Heather Chandler describes to her what Veronica’s voiceover in the episode also affirms–that high school and prom are forever, that your labels here are what you’ll always be–she realizes that it’s now or never. If Veronica lets herself be nothing under Heather Chandler’s reign, then it doesn’t matter what happens in the future. Nothing she will always be.

“You know the best part, Veronica? Unlike you, they’ll never forget me. I don’t care if Dylan Lutz becomes president or if Driffany Tompkins cures cancer. No matter where they go, no matter what they do, no matter how high they fly, there will always be a small part of them that worships at the altar of Heather Chandler.” “You think too highly of yourself, Heather.” “I seem to recall that I got so inside your head that you tried to kill me. Doesn’t get more influential than that, does it, Veronica? I made you so angry that you wanted me dead. I revel in that every day. ... I’m already inside everyone at Westerburg.” “Like a virus.” “Call it what you want, but you and I both know that every moment of every day, every important decision, every relationship, every moral choice they ever make, I will be there, permanently in their heads, guiding them towards the truth that is the Heather Chandler Way. And then their kids, and their kids, and on and on and on and on, because that is what power is. Even after you and I are both long gone, I will live on forever, pulling the trigger on every decision in their sad, lonely, pathetic lives.” “Still beautiful, Heather.” “Well at least I’m not nothing like you.” “Find me in ten minutes and then tell me if I’m nothing, bitch.”

Sorry for the long dialogue pull but it encapsulates a lot about the show, including how murder didn’t solve the problem. I don’t think that Veronica’s anger is directed towards the idea of Heathers in every day and age–she is only angry at Heather Chandler, how Heather Chandler has affected her and everyone else at Westerburg, and she wants to change the narrative.

I admit I find Veronica and JD’s last dance to be a beautiful moment where once again their goals align. The song “I Think We’re Alone Now” indicates their nirvana–seen by everyone while embracing their love no one else can label, they can finally reach what they’ve always wanted.

But their paths sadly diverge again when JD learns of a school shooting and has to put a stop to his own tragedy. For Veronica, the power is in the personal, not the political, and if Heather Chandler’s prom night goes uninterrupted, it’s an injustice she can’t stomach. (Heather Chandler and Veronica’s remembered soundbites during the conversation also indicate that she is thinking of how Heather McNamara suffered under Chandler’s rule.) She accuses JD of being a Heather, caring more about the appearance than the real thing. I personally would only consider this true if JD’s plan wouldn’t work, but I honestly think it wouldn’t and he wants an excuse to end his and others’ lives in a spectacular fashion that his conscience would let him have.

When I first watched the finale, I was disappointed that Veronica and JD were doomed to suffer in afterlives of solitude–clearly a type of hell. However, when I think about it, it’s true that this does express the choices that the characters made. For JD, his heaven was being alone with Veronica after dying in a way that expressed his agony. While he wishes he could have accomplished his goal, he’s still content to die alongside her.

However, that doesn’t satisfy Veronica. She still has the image of Heather Chandler in her head, and she needs to upend her reign. So she does the unthinkable: She reconnects JD’s bomb and makes a social media post that will make her a star of suicide. And in a way, it does work: Now excluded from the violence that Westerburg and society craves, which once almost made her popular with her own attempted suicide, Heather Chandler’s fate is to be forgotten. But when she blows up Westerburg, Veronica blows up her relationship with it. Veronica and JD could have had each other. “Our love is God,” he offers. But she corrects him, “Our love was God.” She can’t escape the way Westerburg labeled her and has to relabel herself. In the end, JD’s love was not more powerful than the dehumanizing effect of the school. If Veronica had chosen JD, she still would have been remembered as “nothing,” having died under Heather Chandler’s label. Veronica’s act of defiance is at once both just the system perpetuating itself and her own personal way to be free. She won’t be what Heather Chandler says, and neither will anyone else for that matter.

But tragically, in deciding that JD’s love was not enough to set her free, Veronica chooses an afterlife without him, and his consciousness during her choice makes him aware he won’t be seeing her, either. She also knows that in the end, she only did what society was deep down wanting her to do as a student: Commit suicide. Ironically, she still is “nothing.” Even if she isn’t under Heather Chandler’s control anymore, she still did exactly what “they” wanted.

Peathers Veronica Sawyer is decidedly less likeable than the original film’s protagonist (in part due to the writing, and I don’t think Grace Victoria Cox is to blame, as I think she knocks it out of the park with a manner that’s somehow both poised and intense) with motivations far less noble. But even in her most outrageous actions, she is still in a strange way a relatable character, at least to me. Driven by societal pressures practically to madness, her first and last scenes are her confronting the issue: How do you answer the question of who you are when everyone tries so hard to answer the question for you? In a way, the answer is to say “fuck you,” even when you know it won’t change anything.

While everyone on Heathers is a bad person, I see a little bit of good in all of them, and all of them are pretty easy to feel sorry for, from Chandler overhearing her mother’s derisions to JD’s devastating loss of his mother to Veronica’s best social prospect being letting the queen bee treat her like a dog. I wouldn’t have ended with JD and Veronica doomed to misery, though it does make sense with the show and honestly the ending was fucking ballsy enough with Westerburg blown up without the people who did it having an ending that wasn’t unhappy. For me, the ending is with Veronica and JD on the dance floor. It’s true that they didn’t escape. But they saw hope of escape, through each other.

For me the show is far from perfect, but Veronica’s character is interesting if extremely frustrating. But enough about that basic cable bitch. Why did you read all of this? Get a life, loser! And remember: Tell your mom to spit out the devil’s jizz before you tongue-kiss her in hell.

Thanks for reading.

BUS TRASH

[retro-pure-jdonica]

Everything Wrong With The Peathers Pilot

Ok so I wrote this as I was watching the pilot so there’s probably a lot of spelling errors but just bear with me here

CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER PLOT ISSUES

The episode opens by playing Que sera sera and zooming in on a croquet set on a front porch before going into the house where we see Shannon Doherty with a red scrunchie, all things that suggest that Heathers (1989) occurred and this is Heather Duke now but then they’re like lol jk that’s jds mom

Speaking of jds mom, they have her kill herself by lighting the house on fire and shooting herself, nothing involving his father’s business which messes with why jd dislikes his father

They COMPLETELY switched the characters of Heather McNamara and Heather Duke. When Heather McNamara starts talking in the lunchroom Heather Chandler says “god Heather, are we already making this about you?” But says nothing bitchy to Heather Duke

Heather Chandler is some social justice warrior and it’s awful. We meet Ram when he is in the cafeteria wearing a shirt that says “Remington squaws” with a (very very red skin toned) depiction of a Native American and Heather is like “ummmmm that’s so offensive. I know that kid over there and he is 1/16th “First Nations peoples”” and when the kid stands up to say it doesn’t offend him she yells at him “this isn’t about you” (bonus in the background they tried to recreate that airy chime kinda music from the original and its shit)

J.D. has been in Sherwood for a while. He doesn’t move from school to school because of his dads business, he keeps getting expelled

At the art exhibit (equivalent to Remington party/Kurt homecoming party) Veronica meets this guy named Jacob who they very purposefully dressed like jd (trench coat, dark hair) and then she asks him if he has a car and then it cuts to him eating her out in a car while she sits on her phone?????? I don’t even know?????

Instead of throwing up on Heather Chandler, Veronica dumps a giant bottle of hull clean on her

Jd and Veronica don’t have sex???? They are in no form of relationship so when jd kills Heather Chandler, Veronica has absolutely no reason to stay with him at all which is just SHIT PLOT PEATHERS GET IT TOGETHER

Jd has only lived in THREE states, NOT SEVEN, NOT TEN, THREE!!! They totally screwed over his background with this and with his mom’s Suicide so now he only has shitty motives. Also, his dad isn’t Big Bud Dean Construction, it’s Big Bud Dean Oil and Gas????

Jd and Veronica don’t give Heather Chandler a bottle of drain cleaner, he pulls an ich luge type thing with some “vomit inducing pills Hitler carried around”. Then when Heather Chandler “dies” he’s like oh crap I must have given her the wrong pills but it’s GENUINE. JD SERIOUSLY DID NOT TRY TO KILL HEATHER CHANDLER but then SURPRISE at the end of the episode we see Heather Chandler wake up because she actually didn’t die because jd did give her the vomit pills, the pills just somehow made her pass out which they weren’t supposed to. Also, she saw that Veronica and jd tried to fake her Suicide (they posted her Suicide note on Instagram and she would remember them coming to her house) but then sees that the post got 27 million likes so she decides to not snitch them out because she’s famous but from now on ANY PERSON THAT “KILLS THEMSELVES” AND JD AND VERONICA SET UP TO LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE, HEATHER CHANDLER WILL KNOW IT WAS JD AND VERONICA SO I DONT KNOW HOW THEY’RE GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH THAT BUT ALRIGHT

You may be thinking, how did JD get Heather Chandler to take a pill? Well, HE PUT IT IN A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND DARED HER TO EAT THE WHOLE BAG IN FIVE SECONDS OR ELSE HE WOULD POST A PICTURE OF HER WITH A NAZI CAP ON. Also on this topic, they had Heather Chandler start gagging before crashing through the glass table but she shouldn’t be gagging, if anything she should be choking from the food and she would have bitten into the pill while eating the corn nuts and it’s a whole mess peathers please get your story straight

At school after Heather Chandler’s “suicide” all of the students are like “omg this is so sad(for the most part, they are still kinda making it about themselves)” and Mrs. Flemming is like “look at all of the publicity about this” which is just??? So wrong????

After Heather Chandler “dies” Betty Finn takes over the role instead of Heather Duke???? AHHHHH WHAT and when Veronica invites betty over for croquet she’s like “Ummm, I’m busy” like wtf peathers you cant make up an ENTIRELY new character and just call her Betty??? This Betty does not have a single similar characteristic to the original Betty except for the fact that she and Veronica were friends in elementary school, like this Betty used to be friends with Heather Chandler and UGH

Okay jd SMILES while telling Veronica in detail how his mother killed himself, Do I even need to explain how wrong this is??

MISUSED AND ALTERED QUOTES

Lick it up fatty, lick it up (bonus, which was followed by: d-did you just fat shame me in public??)

If you’re gonna openly be a flooze

What is your bother wound, Heather? (What does that even mean????)

Corporate monogamy keeps me sane

Big Bud Dean Oil and Gas

I’m gonna be experimenting with lesbianism at (some place) instead of (another place)

SHITTY REFERENCES

The matches jds mom uses to light the house on fire say “hot probs” on the box

At the art exhibit, Veronica and Heather Chandler go to, two of the pieces are a bottle of “hull clean” liquid drainer and a massive replica of the book “The Bell Jar”

Big fun is a chip brand

MISCELLANEOUS

They replaced “very” with “just” and only in this episode they said just 4 times, JUST IN THIS EPISODE

J.D. literally says the phrase “my dear” 4 times JUST IN THIS EPISODE and he’s giving off these Walmart Great Value knockoff type Leonardo DiCaprio Romeo and Juliet vibes and I hate it it’s so weird

Heather Chandler refers to Ram as “the Auschwitz of hate that goes on in Westerburg”

Heather McNamara isn’t even a lesbian! She lied about it to seem cool (Do I even need to explain how terrible and inaccurate and demonizing this is?)

Heather Duke literally says “oh my clit”

Heather Chandler literally says “what the queef”

“Let’s snort Adderall, make out, and get slushies”- JD, again, do I even need to explain?

Kurt gives Ram all of the shit jd and Veronica use at the fake Suicide in the movie to cheer him up (the candy dish, stud puppy, etc) also if you haven’t heard by now, Kurt is gay

Okay, at the 7-11 when JD is saying “a pile of dirt” he looks Veronica up and down liKE WHAT?????

“Sad face emoji, pill emoji, the powerful last words of Heather Chandler” -some teacher

When jd and Veronica are going to post a video on Heather Chandler’s Instagram to make the Suicide more believable (Okay it literally pained me to write that), Veronica says “oh my god I can’t believe we’re doing this, also trim the video it will get more views if it’s under ten seconds”???? This is so terrible  (bonus jd responds to this with “That’s my girl” and ew) (bonus bonus after they finish setting up the Suicide Veronica says “come on, we’re gonna be late for school” ugh peathers stop making the show into a massive joke)

FOR LIKE A THIRD OF THE EPISODE VERONICA IS WEARING THESE OVAL SPARKLY BLUE SUNGLASSES AND THEY LOOK LIKE THEY’RE STRAIGHT OUT OF 2007 AND I HATE IT

When writing in her diary, Veronica starts to write “I’m just a … girl who has been manipulated by a guy into-“ which is very true for actual Heathers but then cuts off and says “no that sounds like I’m enforcing gender stereotypes” and I don’t know if that was supposed to be some shitty commentary about the original but WHAT

They tried to pull a dream scene for Veronica where everything is weird but it was terrible, everyone was wearing red plastic glasses and pointing at Veronica and pop music was playing, it was a mess

Okay the Heathers keep doing this thing where they unnecessarily say the other one’s name while talking (like in the opening for Heathers (1989) where Heather Chandler says “no Heather, it’s Heathers turn” but they do it almost every single line and it’s really annoying)

Also I don’t know if this was on purpose, judging by the mental capacity of the producers it probably wasn’t, but after Heather Chandler dies when Betty is walking down the hall with her gang it plays the same music that was playing when the Heathers first walk into the cafeteria and I don’t know if that was meant to show that Betty is officially the new Heather Chandler but I HATE IT

When Veronica goes to jds house after Heather Chandler’s “death” jds dad walks in with a FUCKING SHAKE WEIGHT and they do the weird father-son switch thing but jd gets his dad to leave by saying some shit like “your presence was wonderful but my girlfriend and I would like to engage in sexual intercourse now” and just, what the fuck?????

YO I DONT KNOW HOW THEY GOT AWAY WITH THIS BUT FOR THE CLOSING FRAME THEY JUST SHOW THE WORD HEATHERS AND LITERALLY PLAY A SLIGHTLY SHITIER VERSION OF THE STRANGER THINGS OPENING TRACK BUT ITS ALMOST THE EXACT SAME

Just FYI, this in Arial font size 11 is FOUR PAGES LONG and this is just the first episode

[juniperhillpatient]

Does Heathers count for the series meme 🥺? (I was also going to ask about Mean Girls but I see someone already did lol)

Sure Heathers counts! Although I have not & will not see the TV show

Favorite character

JD :)

Second favorite character

Veronica!

Least favorite character

...None tbh because every single character is necessary & important to the movie/musical

The character I’m most like

Uhhh....I hope none of them xD But like. Flemming?

Favorite pairing

Shocking to no one who follows me it's JD/Veronica <3 My absolute beloved chaotic murder icons <3 Their love is GOD <3 They WORSHIP each other. They KILL for each other. Hello?? they aren't just the best pairing in the movie/musical, they are possibly the best pairing ever of all time. okay I'm calm. moving on.

Least favorite pairing

I really don't have one, every pairing I can think of in Heathers is good. endless messed up sapphic ships & JD/Veronica. Oh wait - I just remembered some people ship Kurt & Ram with each other & or other characters. Any pairing involving them is the worst lol sorry

Favorite moment

OOOOOOHHHH this is HARDDD....Okay okay ugh so many. "fuck me gently with a chainsaw" is up there. But also "our love is God, let's go get a slushie." & also "dear diary, my teenage angst bullshit now has a body count" & "if you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be human, you'd be a game show host" & "are we going to prom, or to hell?" & SO MANY others. ugh there are SO many. I gotta go with the moment referenced in my header. Veronica trying to convince JD not to blow up the school is one of my favorite scenes in any piece of media ever both in the movie & the musical, but especially in the musical

Rating out of 10

1000000000000000000000000. Pretend the zeroes go on forever. I love Heathers so much <3

Thank you for the ask 💖💖💖