#“it cant last but you enjoy it while it does”

[truebluewhocanoe]

how the fuck do you have a Doctor Who episode featuring the Beatles with a villain who embodies music and is stealing all the music in the world and not have the resolution of the story be "the Maestro may be able to out-music-duel any one person, but multiple people playing music together and harmonizing can defeat the Maestro." come the fuck on. it's RIGHT THERE.

[08-47]

mirage chilling wit the kagome veggie juice pack

[fatedroses]

And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.

[borealing]

nandor begging guillermo stab him... with a stake.... twice.... he wants guillermo to top him sooo bad

[piastappies]

would you maybe write an smau (oscar x norris or leclerc!reader) where the reader is just super clumsy and everyone makes fun of that?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 SUCH A KLUTZ ! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ

pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!reader

summary. in which reader can’t walk straight to save her life and formula fans (as well as some of the drivers) find it extremely amusing, while her boyfriend is the greenest flag of all time.

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 89 623 others.

yourusername rumour has it that the best couple on grid is enjoying the summer break and the rumors are TRUE! though it is also said that the girl in third slide fell off the scooter and got a concussion so her boyfriend took her phone away for three days — this may or may not be true!

view all comments!

user1 oscar is so whipped the guy is the first like whenever she posts something 😭😭

user2 i know ehic isnt a thing in monaco unfortunately but my other european girlies please remember to get yourself an ehic card if you travel across europe it can save you a lot of nerves if you injury yourself on vacay 😭😭😭

priniya european girlies always remember to have a valid european health insurance card! <3

oscarpiastri she might say its not true but it is 👎👎 the girl almost gave me a heart attack

landonorris yourusername someone should lock you up because at this rate youre gonna hurt yourself by breathing

yourusername im having a brat summer ☹️

arthur_leclerc dont think its how it works lutin

francisca.cgomes rumour has it that she didn’t take her girlfriend with her to her trip

lilymhe rumour has it that she broke her other girlfriend’s heart

yourusername NOOOO IM SORRY 😭😭😭 LET ME MAKE IT UP WHEN THE BREAK ENDS

marverstappen1 girl how do you even function with that clumsy brain of yours?

yourusername kellypiquet please tell p that max is making fun of me because i got hurt

kellypiquet she’s making you a card rn

maxverstappen1 our house turned into a glitterlandia because of that card

yourusername I LOVE HER SO MUCH

user3 i honestly cant wait for the pyn reunion in zandvoort 🥹🥹🥹

yourusername same shes my true one 👊👊

charles_leclerc oscarpiastri take your aussie hands off my baby sister or ill crash into you in zandvoort 😁

charles_leclerc for legal purpose this may or may not be a joke

yourusername crash into him and i’ll do something worse than have his hands on me and make you watch

francisca.cgomes

liked by pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 432 621 others.

francisca.cgomes a girls night gone wrong…

— tagged alexandrasaintmleux, yourusername

view all comments!

user4 i bet my LIFE that yn had to go to the er 😭😭😭

pierregasly THIS is what you meant by a surprise??????

francisca.cgomes surprise . . . 😦

alexandrasaintmleux it was fun while it lasted . . .

user5 WHY DOES THE COMMENTS SEEM LIKE YN DIED WHERE IS HER COMMENT

user6 yn rn 💀🪦🪦

user7 you are not funny! hope that helps ❤️

charles_leclerc girl where is my sister 😭😭😭😭

yourusername WHY ARE YALL ACTING LIKE I DIED?????

user8 SHES ALIVE YOU GUYS

oscarpiastri kika you were supposed to bring her back in one piece?

francisca.cgomes sorry it was not my fault

francisca.cgomes literally not my fault this time a guy bumped into her shoulder and she fell 😭😭😭

yourusername i sprained my ankle :(

alexandrasaintmleux we still love you 🫶

user9 ngl i would give my leg to be a part of this friendship

user10 same

landonorris petition to keep yourusername locked in a cage

user11 😧😧😧

yourusername you gotta catch me first 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

pierregasly i second this

lilymhe i third

alexandrasaintmleux ily yn but i fourth ☹️

twitter !

user13 WHEN ITS GONNA BE MY TURN???

user14 i need an oscar in my life but idk if i wanna be yn 😭

user15 you r so real for that oomf

user16 ngl i wish i could be oscar to be with yn

user17 god just knew that if she made yn flawless she would be too much for mortals

user18 she ?

user17 god is a woman and her name is pascale leclerc 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

user19 LMAO

lando.jpg

liked by alex_albon, yourusername, logansargeant and 772 812 others.

lando.jpg never accept an invitation from yourusername for a dinner at her house because there’s a 100% chance she’s gonna burn herself while making you food

view all comments!

oscarpiastri shouldnt have invited YOU

lando.jpg ??? MEAN ???

oscarpiastri dont make fun of my clumsy girlfriend

yourusername when he’s protective ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

yourusername i burnt myself while YOU ALL WERE LAUGHING

user20 oscar was laughing too?😭

arthur_leclerc he was glaring at everyone laughing while looking after yn

user21 oscar is the bestest boyfriend possible i need an oscar in my life

user22 yourusername can you fight?

yourusername i have three older brothers, go figure it out

user22 (｡•́︿•̀｡)

charles_leclerc cant believe they didn’t invite ME and they invited YOU

arthur_leclerc she invited me and enzo LOL

user23 lando.jpg comeback to make fun of oscars gf 😭😭😭

charles_leclerc SHE WAS MY SISTER FIRST

user24 yn is a klutz first human second

oscarpiastri

liked by pascale_leclerc, nicolepiastri, yourusername and 921 728 others.

oscarpiasti a few things that summer break gave me: a dog (yes, i’m officially a dog dad), relaxing time with my friends n family, a fiancée and lots of headaches due to the clumsiness of my gorgeous fiancée.

view all comments!

yourusername i love youuuuuu

hattiepiastri THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT???

hattiepiastri yourusername YOURE MARRYING MY BROTHER????

hattiepiastri HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??

yourusername i flipped a coin

georgerussell63 it probably hit you in the face too, no?

user25 IMAGINE THE FAMILY GATHERINGS???

user26 hold on is oscar gonna go there as charles’ son or yn’s throphy husband??

user27 the family dynamics must be crazy??? because wdym his girlfriend’s brother ADOPTED him??

oscarpiasti fiancee’s*

user27 oh hes not playing

user28 this gon be soooo awkward at the family dinner

yourusername BURN THE PAPERS charles_leclerc HES MINE NOW

charles_leclerc HE WAS MINE FIRST

nicolepiastri i’m pretty sure he was mine first 🥰

pascale_leclerc now we have to share children nicolepiastri

landonorris love you guys but you shouldn’t have a wedding because with yns abilities she might turn the party into a funeral

mclaren so glad to have yn in the mclaren family! 🧡

user29 engagement this engagement that we KNEW you would tie the knot sooner or later WHAT IS THE DOGS NAME 🗣️🗣️🗣️

oscarpiastri pepper :)

user30 yn and lorenzo both engaged in 2024?? leclerc siblings are going STRONG

lewishamilton congratulations to you guys 💚💚

sebastianvettel lots of love and patience with that one, oscar :)

user31 not the girls not congratulating oscyn… fake friends?

user32 gtfo they prob knew abt it already and congratulated them IN PERSON and not in instagram photo comments

francocolapinto lost my chance 😞😔😭😭😢

user33 LMAOOO??? bro saw her at ONE (1) race and fell in love

user34 honestly cant blame him

user35 pls never media train him

yourusername pls franco never change 🫶

pierregasly pls dont elope i need that free food

yukitsunoda0511 dude youre a MILLIONAIRE?

pierregasly dude gtfo

yukitsunoda0511 if i were them i would elope just to spite you

oscarpiastri dont give yn any ideas pls

yourusername no eloping for us i need my brothers to walk me down the aisle 😁😁😁

georgerussell63 to make sure you don’t trip over the dress?

yourusername youre officially uninvited 👎

user36 SHE WANTS CHARLES ENZO AND ARTHUR WALKING HER DOWN THE AISLE??? OH IM GONNA KILL MYSELF

[no-144444]

the grid: No Nut November!

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Featuring: Oscar Piastri, Lando Norris, Lewis Hamilton, George Russell, Alex Albon, Franco Colapinto, Logan Sargeant, Daniel Riccardo, Liam Lawson, Charles LeClerc, Max Verstappen, Paul Aron, Arthur LeClerc.

thank you to the person that requested this!!!

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Oscar Piastri: wouldn’t do it. 

Even if every driver on the grid was offering 1,000€ each as a prize, he was not giving up fucking you for an entire month. 

Even though he looks like a sweetie pie he would absolutely be a freak in the sheets and he was not about to give up the only way he actually gets his frustration out (aka fucking you). 

Everyone kind of boos him for it but then half way through the month he gets to be smug while they’re all miserable and complaining, because he can fuck his girlfriend whenever he wants. 

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Lando Norris: would try, but definitely fail. 

He wouldn’t care about the prize, he’d just have such a ‘how hard can it be?’ attitude. 

Newsflash: extremely. 

You would not make it easy for him either; wearing the sluttiest clothes, basically giving him fuck me eyes all the time, enjoying it when you see him get hot and bothered. 

He snaps on his birthday, and fucks you for hours straight. You can barely walk the next day. 

He decides to own up and pay his part of the bet with no shame, he has a hot girlfriend and he likes fucking her, sue him! 

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Lewis Hamilton: wouldn’t even try

He’s uninterested in the things most of the grid do in their spare time, and he knows they’re uninterested in him too. They don't need to know about his sex life, but what people can guess is that it is very much alive. 

I mean… you two had a baby literally 8 months after your wedding, to the day. 

The other 3 kids don't exactly help his case… 

He’d say yes, just so he could be added to the group chat and he would tell you who is winning and losing.

He’d lose on the first day with no shame. Everyone knows he's just here for the public shaming of others. 

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George Russell: would win

Not saying he’s not a freak in the sheets, but he would set up the entire thing (group chat, the money pool, etc.) and he cannot be seen lacking. 

Even if it wasn’t his idea, he still needed to win. 

You do make the entire month absolute torture though. 

Matching sets, showing as much skin as possible, everything. 

Even walking around the apartment naked. 

But somehow, he doesn’t budge. 

At the end of the month he does fuck you for ages, and you literally cant get out of bed, let alone follow him to a race. He tells the media you’re sick and all of the drivers have the dirtiest laughs as he explains. Despite every question, they keep their mouths shut. 

George did announce that he won at the end, much to your chagrin. 

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Alex Albon: he’d last a while

 He would honestly be pretty good. 

He kind of breaks the rules, he constantly gives you oral and jerking himself off, but it wasn’t specifically stated in the rules (apart from the name… but whatever)

He makes it like halfway through the month until a particularly bad race result. 

He fucks you all night. 

When you both get to the paddock in the morning, George pays him a visit to collect the money like the smug bastard he is. 

He heard you two last night. 

He was 4 doors down. 

Oops. 

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Franco Colapinto: he’s the one who accidentally tells the press. 

We all know Franco is awful at keeping his mouth shut, and in an interview he somehow lets it slip that he needed to find George to give him money. 

They ask him what for. 

He says ‘the bet’ and explains that they’re doing NNN this year and that he lost. 

It was worth it though, you two hadn’t seen each other in months (you were busy in uni, he was busy at races) and he just had to have you. 

He made it like a quarter of the way into the month. 

He didn't really care. 

The drivers honestly just found it funny that he told the media. 

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Logan Sargeant: would make it most of the way, but just fall short by like 4 days.

He had done so well, ignoring all of your sexual advances for the majority of the month…

Then he got drunk. 

Drunk Logan and drunk you? Yeah, you’re fucking. 

He couldn’t keep his hands off you, and he paid the price. 

He paid up sheepishly the next day, George looked at him with the smuggest smile ever. 

Logan didn’t even care. He fucked you twice as much as before. 

He has to make up for lost time, right? 

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Daniel Riccardo: he would lose immediately.

This man is a 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀 

He would kind of do the same thing as Lewis, pay to just watch the rest of them loose. 

He does last a little bit longer though (in their eyes).

 He doesn’t pay up until the second week even though he’s been fucking you the entire time. 

He has absolutely no shame about it either. 

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Liam Lawson: he would almost win.

He's such a cutie. I think he’d somehow abstain for a while. 

He’d get to around the 26th, and then give up. 

The month was torture though. 

You literally would beg him every night, and he would just have to say no. 

You were impressed at how long he lasted. 

But then he gave in after he scored points in mexico...

Yuki ratted him out to George, he was very embarrassed.

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Charles LeClerc: he would lose immediately.

Charles is an idiot. 

He would lose the first day by accident, and then try to pretend that it doesn't count until George actually comes knocking on his drivers room door looking for the money. 

He heard you, of course. 

Charles reluctantly watches the rest of the month play out, bitter that his own forgetfulness took him out so early. 

He vows to win next year. 

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Carlos Sainz: wouldn’t do it. 

He’s not giving up fucking you for a month. No way. 

He also wouldn’t be interested in the sex lives of others enough to even pay into it like Lewis. 

His sex life is his own, and as much as he loves healthy competition, this is a race he’s happy to lose. 

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Max Verstappen: would be a huge bitch all month.

Dude is like a moody teenager when he’s not getting it. 

Daniel persuades him to do it and he makes it a few days in.

Literally turns into the biggest moody bitch ever.

By the 8th day everyone is begging you to just fuck him so he’ll stop being such a cunt to them.

You do. 

He pays up and spends the rest of the month fucking you. 

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Paul Aron: he would almost win.

He would last pretty long. Like maybe more than half the month

Despite his playboy facade, he’s actually more into cuddles and shit like that. 

 But after a bad race…

Yeah, he pays up with zero shame. 

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Arthur LeClerc: he would lose, in two ways. 

Y’know how quickly Charles lost, yeah he’d be worse.

He wouldn’t forget, he’d just think that he can get away with fucking you all month but of course, that doesn’t happen.

George comes knocking after Charles tells him he can hear you two.

You are deeply embarrassed that your boyfriend's brother heard you two having sex, and you impose a ban for the rest of the month. 

You say it’ll help you both be more aware of when and where you’re doing it, and how to not get caught by his brother again. 

He curses out his brother the next time he sees him.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[rawme-price]

Omg a pt 5 to my reader and her dog riley?? This is getting out of hand...

Anyways reader figures ghost out lol

Despite what gaz may say about you, u are not totally oblivious. You tend to notice when guys are interested in you, its just that ghost is so embarrassed about the effect you have on him that he's deadset on avoiding you. Everytime you even mutter praise for ur beloved riley, ghost is already out the door. Its a bit odd, you and ghost actually do have nice chats when riley isn't around, his dark humor and casual vibe is actually pretty charming.

It happens by chance while you and the guys are eating lunch, a rare occasion but one you enjoy very much. Soap is happily explaining how he got his callsign, when you furrow your brow and ask "Wait, what even is your last name? I've only ever heard people call you soap or johnny."

Soap grins, you've fallen right into his and gazs plan "Aye, i guess you wouldn' know would ye?" He muses, attempting to hide his grin "mines MacTavish, gaz is garrick, price is well...price, and ghost is riley."

"Riley?" You ask, looking at ghost, "dude, you share a name with my dog! Isn't that cool?"

You joke about it, but you can see the blush creeping up his neck when all he does is grunt. You file that away for later and go back to listening to soap.

A few days later, you and ghost are in the common area simply enjoying eachothers presence. He's lying spread across the couch, and ur working on the puzzle that's been taking up the coffee table for the better part of three weeks. Riley's not with u today, having been taken to the beach to go play with ur friends dogs. You miss him, but luckily your friend sends you a video of the big guy!

He's just so cute, covered in sand and chasing the other dogs! You smile at your phone, hand reaching up to pat ghosts bicep.

"Ghost! Ghost, look at this!" You dont wait for him to respond, knowing he will look "its riley at the beach! Look how cute he is!" You enthuse, leaning over so he can properly see the screen from his position.

"Riley's such an energetic boy, he loves to play! God, hes just amazing, I know hes having a great time right now. Hes such a good boy!"

The strangled sound ghost makes has you pausing, actually looking at him instead of gushing about riley. He's flushed, eyes wide as they stare up at you. You only now realize how close you are, leaning against his torso slightly, muscles stiff under your touch.

A grin splits your face, dots connecting. "Oh, this does something for you doesn't it?" You ask, and he looks like hes about ready to bolt, but too scared to push you away.

"Do you like hearing your name on my tongue? Or is it the praise?" His breath hitches, "hm, thought so. You wanna be my good boy, ghost?"

"Simon- its simon" he barely manages to respond, a gasp leaving his mouth as you lean closer, practically plastering to his side.

"Okay then, simon" you agree easily, relishing in the way his skin reddens. A hand trails up to rub his bicep, groping at the muscles you've been eyeing for far too long. "Cmon simon, be good for me."

He whines, outright and needy when you straddle his waist, large hands coming up to grab your thighs. He's already rock hard beneath you, grinding up almost unconsciously. Simon doesn't protest when you hook a finger under the surgical mask he wears, pulling it off to reveal the pretty part of his lips as he sighs. You cant resist leaning down and kissing him, feeling the way his lips press against yours warmly.

Youre snaking a hand under his shirt when a loud and pointed cough startles you two. Both of your heads whip around to see price with his arms crossed, looking thoroughly unamused.

"This is a public room," he points out, sounding vaguely disappointed despite the gleam in his eye "take this somewhere private."

As he walks out, you swear you can hear a muttered fucking finally.

(Omg wow hope yall enjoyed. fi you thought i was gonna make reader anything other than dominant ur in the WRONG HOUSE im a sub ghost truther!! I promise ill write the actual smut eventually lol.)

[sunny-knight]

TIMELINES MUST PASS

Time Will Pass @forgettable-au fan animation :3

Decided to practice some animation with this wonderful song/animation meme/trend???

Inspiration credit:

@mannawanna on Youtube!

@Sherrickmadds on Instagram!

heheheheheHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAHAHAAHAHA I LOVE THESE GUYS SO MUCH AND THIS AUDIO JUST FELT TOO PERFECT FOR EM!!! ON WE GO TO THE ANALYSIS

The direct actions:

Sans smiles at Wingdings, who does not return it

Sans is bothered and upset by this, before closing his eyes and accepting it.

They go back to staring up at the ceiling, except Sans looks sadder now.

Wingdings continues to sing, content with this.

GASTERING TIME

Cut to the present day-post papyrus day,

Gaster is belting out happily while Sans is horrified at what his…brother??? has turned into.

Before they both come to a (reluctant on Sans’ half) acceptance at the situation.

What they’re supposed to translate to:

Sans encourages Wingdings to come out of his comfort zone. Instead of staying in the lab 247 and shutting out the rest of the world while still wanting to make it a better place with his inventions- why not grab some food at Grillbys?? (I just thought of how funny it is that Sans can’t get Papyrus to enjoy Grillbys either, for different reasons but still. CMON GUYS- GO GET SOME GREASY FOOD WITH YOUR BROTHER)

But he shuts this idea down constantly, no matter how subtle or direct Sans is, he can’t seem to stop his brother from going down an incredibly self destructive route. When he closes his eyes and looks back up at the ceiling…I wouldn’t call that “giving up on Wingdings” but definitely trying less hard. He cant force him to do anything so why try

(ofc Alphys comes in- BUT THIS IS A 24 SECOND ANIMATION, WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT- CHOP CHOP!) (also just as an aside i love that when Sans realizes he cant force Wingdings outside he just brings the outside to him 😭😭)

But Wingdings is fully content with this “giving up”. He gets his way!!!

Thats when we see an interaction between these two, YEARS later. Sans is, needless to say, pretty horrified at whats happened to him (we’re ignoring lack of memories in this situation btw) but Gaster is thrilled and tells Sans that basically “I wont be here for long, i just wanted to say that despite my actions I promise I loved you” which Sans feels many emotions at- but “grief” bundles those all up in a nice trauma bow.

Gaster then goes on to say basically “this has been fun, but this is probably the last time we will ever interact because I have business to attend to, and you have Papyrus’ to attend to!!!” Sans reluctantly accepts this. Again. Gaster always staying within his comfort zone and Sans just going along with it because he cant force his stubborn as hell brother to do anything.

Basically long story short, Sans is not happy in either of these situations. Both times Wingdings puts his work above his brother.

[femmeftal]

˖ ⁺ ✧ Punk tactics !

pairings ✧ : mohawk mark! x reader

warnings ✧ : breast fucking / tit job , groping, degrading, dirty talk ( sex scene is short n sloppy ) fem description.

normal! mohawk mark who is rebellious to his parents Debbie and Nolan, teaching his litter brother Oliver how to cause enough trouble just like him. even gifting Debbie with phone calls at his school reporting that he has gotten into another fight this weekend.

normal! mohawk mark who has some piercings on his face that he had done with a safety pin because his mom and dad wouldn’t allow him to, having at-least near 5 facial piercings ( including the tongue one )

normal! mohawk mark who ALSO has a secret tattoo right above his abdomen that has his initials in a gothic font, hot right? yea well it hurt a lot. bragging to his friends on how it’d be so easy to take a needle down there but nope he was wrong, and he got proven that.

normal! mohawk mark that hits on cute girls like you, naive and sassy. meeting you at one of his friends punk parties, you stood out the most. your clothing attire not even being comparable to these dweebs in the party. he had his share amount of girls and you were on of his favorites. . .

normal! mohawk mark that you cant help but to fall for, people telling you he isn’t the husband type but you could already tell. from the way he had grabbed onto your neck last night to sloppily kiss you told you everything you had to know. not like you didn’t enjoy it but you liked it just way too much.

normal! mohawk mark who invites himself into your house when your parents are gone knowing they’d throw a fit seeing a guy with facial piercings, muscular build, and a mohawk in their house heading to their daughters room. not like he’d care anyways he would still go up into your room while your parents were there.

normal! mohawk mark who caresses your ass while laying in your bed as if not a while ago he had promised he’d be good to you and no touching. he “ couldn’t help! “ it he claimed while giving you those bullshit puppy eyes he had always gave you when he has got into trouble with you.

normal! mohawk mark who’s boner is practically prodding at your ass when he swears up and down its not his dick and is just the remote. but you don’t remember the remote being 8 inches and that girthy, you try to believe him but it’s hard to when every time you shuffle you hear him shuddering or breath being caught in his throat.

normal! mohawk mark who can’t take it anymore violently pulling your blouse down revealing your tits.. which were pierced his eyes widened, this was love at first sight he had thought, a wide smile playing onto his face. “ who would’ve known “ he thought sitting on top of you as if he wasn’t already so big.

“ mmark.. be nice with them i just got them pierced two weeks ago! “ you protested your nipples hardened feeling the steel of his tongue piercings clacking against your nipple piercings. “ fuck, did they hurt baby? “ his words were long and sultry even the thought of the needle piercing through your nipples made him 10x harder! “ of course they did you dumbass.. “ you moaned the feeling of his rough hands squeezing onto the fat of your breasts was enough to send you into a frenzy. mark’s slobber was all on your tits it looked as if someone even poured some water onto your breasts and let it sit there, hearing the sound of cheap baggy jeans unzipping you looked down to see him starting to pull his boxers down “ mark you’re not tit fucking me! “ he was already was squishing you with his weight but no he didn’t want to listen cause he never does. his hard cock was pulsing at the sight of you, he looked like a fucking pervert too the way he wiped his drool from his mouth and smiled down at you “ youre so fucking hot babe.. cant believe i bagged a bad bitch like you “ he moaned out scooting his body further onto your torso to settle his cock between your tits “ you’ll let me nut all over this pretty face yea? “ you were so embarrassed, every word that came out his mouth made your pussy wet and pulse “ just hurry up mark.. if parents barge in i’ll be in big trouble “ grabbing onto your breasts and squishing them against his hard cock he threw his head back “ fuck your parents.. Shitt “ thrusting his member in between your tits that were still covered in saliva the sensation felt so fucking good to him “ mark you’re a pervert! “ he groaned even more the degrading throwing him off edge even more “ yea? im your dirty lil pervert mhmm.. “ speeding up the sensation he would drag your tits against his cock too the soft doughy feeling of your breasts had hypnotized him “ fuck m gonna.. shit let me cum baby pleasee “ his tip was practically red waiting to burst all over your breasts and face “ fine just.. clean m- “ he came immediately. a extremely loud groan emitted from mark making you even feel embarrassed for him, but you couldn’t focus on that.. the hot sticky substance that painted your face and breasts made you look like a pornstar some even getting onto your newly done lashes that you’d just payed for! “ mark!! “ his chest heaving he would crawl off of you “ dont think i’d let this pussy feel neglected and alone did ya? “

[beastyeastfreak]

you wrote the beasts in heatyesyes but i can't help but imagine.. beasts x in heat reader please and thank you🙏🙏

Yessss absolutely ive been waiting for someone to ask 👅

Cw and tags: Smut, Afab reader, GN! Reader, breeding kink, manipulation/ toxic behavior, role playing, orgasm denial, implied fempreg/impreg, mystic flours venom does not make a return (earthbread in shambles), lots of biting and scratching, heats last days not like a small one off thing like multiple rounds daily, overstimulation, binding

I cant even lie i locked in for this one

Written pre silent salt update

Mystic Flour

🌾 - She saw how you were forced into this state, against your will, quietly pleading for her in the dark, situated on your shaking knees. The red caressing your dough stood out among the white surrounding you. She’d grant her beloveds wish, it seems you were the only one she’d answer prayers for.

🌾 - “Anything that obstructs your path to enlightenment,” she starts. Sitting you on the bed and taking off your clothes. “I will have to see to it that it is taken care of.” She replied in a way that could be seen as caring.

🌾 - She doesn’t play, she wants to exterminate this ache from you. Though she’d be lying if she did not admit seeing you writhe and whine her name did not give her some enjoyment. She finds your reactions interesting, she’ll test spots that make you shudder and lull your head when her tongue reaches it. By halfway through she has you mapped out.

🌾 - When your movements become an obstacle, she’ll bind you. Your legs bound in a way they’re spread and folded. Your wrists tied above your head with webs of flour white string. You cant move, but she knows when her ministrations become overstimulating.

🌾 - “It will be worse if i do not do this,” she say quietly and leans away from between your legs to let you catch your breath. You’re trembling, no words just panting. You come again, she runs a hand over your face, looking down at you with those eyes. In your eyes, she only sees herself, what you want. It’s worshiping in its own twisted way, she loves it. “The purpose of this is to create life… that i can grant you.” She sounds a little scary as she says that.

🌾 - The heat slowly ebbs from your body, she’ll let you sleep then help you get washed, clothed and fed. She’ll let you hold onto her, leeching off her, admittedly little, body heat or perhaps simply just her presence. Her hand will gently comb in your hair as she completes what she’s behind on.

Burning spice

🏜️ - He knows exactly when you go into heat, he knows and he wont help until you come to him. He wants to see your will power. How long until you’re in his lap digging nails into his dough breathlessly needing him? How long until you’re in admit you need him to ruin you?

🏜️ - He all but dissuades you from trying to mark him. Biting and clawing are all on the table, he’s going to do the same after all. Burning spice wants evidence, battle scars. No one gets the luxury of letting their weapon grace his dough, so how intimate is it that when you’re whimpering beneath him he allows you to let his jam trickle onto you from tears caused by your teeth and nails?

🏜️ - He’ll speak to you as hes going down on you, not that you’re able to respond between being filled and being painfully needy. He’ll give you what you want to hear, how destructive his heir would be, how he’d take care of the both of you. He knows it has an effect, so he’ll continue. He’ll place a hand over your stomach and openly fantasise about destroying anything and everyone to keep you safe while you’re carrying.

🏜️ - He enjoys it when you positively react to him making promises of destruction. He’ll really enjoy it if you encourage it, say you dont want anyone near you or that you want him to scare away anyone who even looks at you wrong and he’ll give you what you want tenfold.

🏜️ - He will not let anyone even near you while you’re in heat, he wants your focus solely on him. If you need food in between sessions he gets it himself, still covered in scratches. Any offer to help would be taken as an insult, they aren’t injuries, they’re trophies.

🏜️ - By the end of it, he’s not spent but he’s definitely gotten a good workout and is behind on his ‘duties’. When all is said and done, the both of you look like you just exited a war zone and had the best couple of days of your life.

Eternal sugar

🌷 - Eternal Sugar views how you act in your moment of weakness as a test of loyalty to her almost. Yes, she’ll be there to help you because it is also an act of love, shes devoted to you, are you devoted to her? Did a chance to leave the garden conveniently present itself just before your heat, and you took it? You strangely find her more distant, she’s busy and you cant get a word in.

🌷 - You’ll become flustered and needy, completely incapable before she comes to you. “How can i help you if you don’t want to be where i can help you?” She’ll ask holding your chin, you take her hand and kiss it fervently and apologetically. “It wont happen again,” she says for you.

🌷 - If you did pass her tests, showing no interest in leaving or even calling her out saying you love her and wont leave, shes the best cookie to spend your heat with. “Do you think about a little one when you’re like this?” She’ll ask while pushing another finger in you. “Does it make you happy to think about? I can give that to you,” she smiles.

🌷 - While sleeping only pauses it temporarily, she can help you rest if you begin to become sleep deprived. She also ensures you’re well fed, its energy consuming to the maximum. Sleeping doesn’t take time off it, the moment you wake up its double, you’re clinging to her pressing sloppy kisses along her neck, her scent is driving you up the wall. She’s the only thing on your mind even in your dreams.

🌷 - What she wants to hear is you asking for permanent marks on your body that stakes her claim. She wants to be given a reason to be possessive, to have another excuse as to why you cant be away from her. If you do tell her to mark you in some way, Eternal sugar cookie will place a symbol of her souljam where it could be easily found, forehead, wrist, chest, anywhere.

🌷 - After the storm clears, she’ll use her time with you to take care of you in the other ways. This one need was taken care of, now she wanted to handle the rest.

Shadow milk

🃏 - Oh he just loves it when you’re burning up and aching and the only thing you want is him, it’s the ultimate ego boost which he certainly doesn’t need. He likes to get just a little too close when its that time, watching your face turn a deeper shade. He can practically feel heat emitting from your body. Any nearby doors will suddenly seem to be missing. “Ooohoho, ive been waiting for this! I have so many scripts I’ve written for us and us alone and so little time~!” He’ll say before summoning a portal and carrying you in.

🃏 - He loooves playing characters in bed, its funner when you’re slowly losing it and unable to keep the act. He’ll be thrusting into you and playing along the story he’s created. With each round you delve further and further into neediness, having to keep track of a new story. You cant follow the role? Having issues delivering lines? You have to wait a little longer for relief, he doesn’t make the rules!(he does)

🃏 - Your input on the characters he plays is the best part, he likes to hear what lines make you get off quicker, what actions make you buck your hips. You can always request characters, he gets off hearing you admit you were into his performances in your time of need. What drives him equally as much is if you tell him you preferred when he’s him, he’ll deny you his authentic self and continue the act but he definitely enjoys it.

🃏 - Id say about just over half way, when it really intensifies, is when he starts to lose energy and you gain it, so you switch. He lays down for a break, you get on top and start to ride him. Hes twitching and moaning, muttering how hes the director and should be in control not you. You obviously have less of a need for breaks, soon the acts begin to drop just in a trance of pleasure and aching. Nothing but the sounds movement and animalistic groans and pants. He’ll speak that with all this work it better pay off, he wouldn’t mind another cookie in the spire.

🃏 - When it finally ends, you’re both fatigued and sore, you can really only snuggle up next to eachother. He’s soft and somewhat quiet, cherish it while it lasts because you officially broke him. He’ll reach his hand into those portals and pull out snacks or extra blankets.

[noellefan101]

Staying on Campus During Winter Break, Twisted Wonderland-Pt 2

Reader cant go home to their family during winter break, and seems a little down in the dumps when their boyfriend talks about what they'll do at home themselves. What would he do to fix their now sad s/o? (+ some headcanons for the character, some with reader in mind)

Characters: Sebek, Idia, Ruggie, Kalim, Leona and Ace(all seperate) x Reader(gn)

saw someone else write smt like this and got ideas for it myself :> Original post

Part 1

Warnings: Reader is not yuu/mc, either your family lives too far away or are occupied, maybe they're real shitty you choose. reader is usually the same grade as the character, very ooc. gn reader

Sebek

If he sees you down he'll immediately assume someone dare harm you, so please deal with that first.

Although after finding out about your predicament, he'll resume to, uhhh, doing Sebek things. Like yelling to "comfort" you, while frantically texting his parents to request permission for your stay.

He would not usually have wanted you to meet his family like that, preferring more traditional ways, but he'll set that aside for a moment in an effort to comfort his beloved.

In the rare chance that his parents don't allow your stay, he'll call you every hour to ensure you're doing alright. Although he won't actually admit that's why he's calling.

And it absolutely isn't because he misses your voice, no matter how little time has passed since the last time he called. What a preposterous assumption.

"HUMAN! THIS IS FOOLISH, YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL SAD OVER SUCH TRVIAL MATTERS! WHY? WEL-WELL BECAUSE *cough* because you may stay with me and my family instead... if you'd like to that is, so you won't have to stay at campus.."

(he hates his ears, because they aren't like the other fae. But he has 100% tried to mold something around his ears to make them pointed, like that fake skin or just clay.)

Idia

He does NOT wanna go home, and is so happy he now has an excuse to stay with you instead of being put to work at STYX. Although he can see why you'd be bummed out, cuz yeah NRC sucks.

Yes, he loves his parents and all, but he can't deal with all the side quests he gets whenever he just exists. And there's no way he brings you to STYX when he'll just get quizzed 24/7 as well.

Also sees no reason for you to be sad about it, but understands how horrible it is to stay at school when you just want to relax back home.

Idia will try his best to comfort you, but might just leave that to Ortho and suggest some games to play with him to distract you. He has a whole list of things he thinks you'll enjoy, plus some of your favorite snacks.

You'll be staying in his room for most of the winter break, playing games and watching anime with him and Ortho while chatting about lots of stupid things.

"Y-Yeah you're uhh welcome, or whatever. Now theres this anime that just came out, and uuhh you kinda promised me you'd watch something with me. It should cheer you up too.. ew thats so corny."

(Despite calling a bunch of stuff 'outdated crap' when it comes to not so modern technology, he definitely keeps and looks for old cd's for his favorite games and maybe some songs. like a true dweeb.)

Ruggie

Ears down, sad eyes, frown and tears in the corner of his eyes... that's what you'll be looking at for the next five minutes when you told Ruggie about your predicament.

But that doesn't mean he's taking you home with him, no, it's precisely because he can't that he's devastated. I mean he could, but that would be such a bad idea and you'd have it worse than at NRC. And he'd like to prepare you for that, since he doesn't want to experience that without being a good street smartie.

It's just now he also has to debate whether to stay with you or go home to gramma and the other hyenas back in the slums... He loves you a lot and trusts that you will be fully safe at campus, so he chooses to go home for the break as previously planned.

Please call him whenever you get endangered of any sort, does no matter if you just fell and got a scratch. Call. Him. He needs to now his partner is alright, and would rather not get back only then knowing you got hurt.

"Hello? Aah, Sweetcakes! You ok? Did something happen? ...Hey I'm busy you know.. come on, when i said you could call me i was talking about when you're in danger, not this. No i like when you talk it's not that. What, you flustered now? shhishishi"

(has a handmade plush thats in absolute dismay and screaming to be put down. its made from rags that couldnt be worn anymore and put to new use by his grandmother. leona has given it looks many times, being disgusted by its existence whenever he spots it. ruggie is just too attached to let it go though.)

Kalim

You should really have told him sooner, and he would have properly invited you to the scalding sands with him. But that doesn't mean you aren't coming home with him no. It'll just be more like staying at your boyfriends house, and not as if you were at a super expensive hotel.

Because yeah, he loves sharing a room with you, but you would probably have had your own apartment sized room to stay in, had you talked to him earlier.

Yet you didn't do that, and can stay close to Kalim during your instead. So take that as a good thing.

He's going to make sure you're having the time of your life, not wanting you to focus on anything even mildly depressing for the whole of winter break. Taking you anywhere you'd find fun the minute a smile even dares to disappear from your pretty face.

But he's very quick to cheer you up when you mentioned it to him at first. Like even Jamil was ready to uplift your mood, but mostly because he didn't want to cook for yet another party if that Was Kalims idea to brighten your mood.

"No I'm very sure you can come over during winter break, I even made sure to check in with Jamil this time! It'll be ok, you'll have fun with me instead of staying here, at campus. So please start smiling again for me!"

(he's a big collector of plush toys, you cant convince me he wouldnt be. he buys so many cute ones, and he can have animals in fabric instead of actual breathing ones. thats the only thing Jamil likes about them though.)

Leona

Almost ignored your 'sad whines about winter break' when you visited during lunch, but he could clearly hear your saddened tone and decided to make you stop whining.

How does he do this? Interrupting you mid 'whine' stating you're staying in sunset savanna with him, so shut up it's nap time.

He's dragging you home with him if he has to, but only because Kifaji is annoying him too much, and if he needs to deal with them it has to be alongside you.

Would have done this even if you could stay with your own family over the break, though housing you because of that was a perfect excuse. He mostly wants to avoid being the subject of family gossip, and this provides an easy way out... Hopefully.

You'll have a nice time in sunset savanna though, he will make sure of that, for a small price.. Said price is being his pillow for the whole trip, no excuses.

You're in a car and there isn't enough space for it, plus its dangerous? He doesn't care. Since he made sure it was a really fancy vehicle with enough space in the back to fit at least 10 people. It'll be a long ride, so get comfy.

"Then you're staying over with me, now would you stop whining so much and let me nap here in peace. No, that was not me telling you to leave, get back and sit down. Now. Finally, thank you."

(trying to get him to eat a salad would be like trying to bathe a cat, 99% impossible to do without force and weird tactics. You'll also be scratched during it. a lot.)

Ace

Oh you poor unfortunate soul, you'll just have to stay here at campus and be so, so lonely without him- Don't look at him like that, he's just teasing, relax. Of course you aren't actually staying here, you're staying with him, idiot.

Too shy to actually ask if you'd want to stay with him, and couldn't help but tease you for a little to see that sad little pout- Okay, okay he'll shut up, just please put that book down.

He does not care if his parents even agree to house you, his brother had friends over all the time so it should be fine. But now that he's remembering his brother is also coming over, he's not looking forward to winter break so much anymore.

If his family starts asking too many questions about you two, he's out. Excuses spewing out his mouth as he drags you outside, talking about this super cool place he forgot to show you.

"Come onnn, you look so stupid when you're sad, with a cute little pout as well. How could I not want to see your- okay, okay yeah I'll shut up now. Don't hit me with that book, put it down, it looks heavy. Phew, starting to think you want me dead here."

(cracks his fingers a lot, he hates the sounds they make but man does it feel good after practicing card tricks for 2 hours, no breaks. is also disgusted when Deuce does it, like gags sometimes kinda disgusted)

Thx for reading, love ya! - Masterlist

[b1nary-wr1ter]

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS IDEA.

07n7 comforting Artist!reader who's having an artblock. Anyway, have a good day/night!!

>It sounds lovely.

>007n7 happens to be one of it's favorites.

>It shall enjoy writing this.

</> ASCII art </>

007n7 x Artist! Reader 1k words

You had been struggling recently.

For two reasons.

The most obvious one being the death game your trapped in.

The other? Art block.

Who knew in this endless hell the thing you'd hate second most was not knowing what to make in-between rounds?

But here you sat in the lodge, supplies sitting out on the coffee table, fire crackling in the fireplace. And you've done nothing. No progress, no ideas, nothing. You've tried just free handing something but couldn't get anything right, and so you gave up.

You groan, holding your face in your hands. This is the worst. The one thing that brought you peace here you can't even do because you just can't think.

The others have already gone off to do their own things, making dinner, talking, playing cards, games, or pool.

You can hear them laughing throughout the lodge. It's odd, the daily life you all have made here.

Looking at your supplies makes your head hurt. You could be doing anything else but you want to make art. You want to make. But you cant. Your mind won't let you and your hands fumble each time.

Your frustration must be rather obvious because you hear the clearing of someone's throat behind you.

You turn around and spot the last person you expected.

007n7.

He looks at you sheepishly, not bothering to sit on the couch and giving you your space.

" Ah- are you... okay? "

You blink a bit in surprise. It's not often you see him around after rounds. And it's even rarer to see him being the one to start a conversation.

" Oh uhm...sorta? I'm just a little...blocked."

You see him glance from you to the coffee table where your supplies are.

" Blocked? "

" Yeah, like art blocked. "

He looks a little confused. You're pretty sure he doesn't know what that term means. So you do your best to explain it.

" Oh. That sounds like it sucks? "

" Yeah it does haha- "

The longer you talk, the more nervous he looks, as if you're about to bite his head off or tell him to go away. But you'd never do that.

Instead, you pat the space next to you on the couch. He looks surprised at your invitation but he takes it, carefully sitting next to you but not very close.

You both sit in silence for a few seconds as he tries to figure out what to say next, eventually taking a look at your supplies again.

" What sort of art do you usually make? "

You light up a little bit as you explain what you do.

He nods along and eventually ends up asking about your supplies, and you eagerly explain what you use them for, even if it was mundane.

While you talk, you've realized he's been asking all the questions. You don't know much about him yourself so-

" Do you do any art? " you ask him.

" Oh! Uh, no not really. Not like what you do. "

" So you do other art? "

He seems a little nervous about it, but since first meeting him, he's always been nervous.

" I....guess you could call it that? "

You tilt your head in confusion at him.

" Well anything you make can be called art. "

He gives you a very small smile. His hand reaches out for something before stopping short. He glance at you from the corner of his eye.

" Do...do you want to see it? " He asked.

" Only if you're willing to show me, I won't force you to. "

7n7 thinks about it for just a moment before he pulls out his c00lgui. The red and black text box hovering just in front of him.

You eye it suspiciously, knowing what it's capable of. But you trust 7n7 enough.

You watch as he seems to type on an invisible keyboard, and instead of prompts, commands, or texts, it symbols.

He eventually turns the c00lgui in your direction so you can fully see what he's made.

It's a....cat? Made of text.

7n7 looks at you expectantly, unsure of what you'd think.

" It's not much but- "

" Is super cute! "

You interrupt him with a smile on your face.

" How'd you do that? " You ask him, genuinely interested. It catches him by surprise, a small blush across his cheeks.

" Oh I- well during college I...It was super popular to make these little pictures and well- I would get bored and here we are. "

He doesn't explain it well but you won't push him. He's never spoken much bout himself so you'd rather not push your luck with questions.

" That's actually....really cool. Do you know any more? "

He smiles a bit more as his fingers glide over the invisible keyboard as he erases the cat and starts a new picture.

A fish. Then a bird. A house. A tree. A sky. A kite. A fire. Pizza. A face. A skull.

He goes on for a bit, watching your reactions to each. Some he does with ease like the pizza and skull, the others take him a few tries to get right.

" Can you teach me how to do it? " Even if you can't see whatever the keyboard he's using is, you think it'd still be cool.

" Uhm...I mean I can uh..."

7n7 looks between you and the c00lgui. His hand twitches above it before sighing.

" Maybe....another time? If we can find a proper computer I can show you how to do it on that. "

You smile and nod. You'll be just fine with that.

The two of you spend the rest of the day together on the couch. His demonstrations on the c00lgui have inspired you a bit. You end up making a few cat related things with the supplies on the coffee table, giving one to 007n7.

You know a few of the others aren't too fond of him because of something he did before being brought here and the fact his son is one of the people hunting you all down each day.

But spending time with him like this? He doesn't seem all that bad just someone else stuck here with all of you.

You rather like him if you were being honest.

You couldn't wait for the day you find a computer.

[brayneworms]

can you do one where you edge aki hayakawa? PRETTY PLEEEAASSSEEE WITH ALL THE CHERRIES ONTOP

high & dry

featuring. aki hayakawa x gn!reader

content. MDNI, smut, edging, handjobs + the beginning of a blowjob lol, pet names (honey), gender neutral reader + agab not mentioned, sub!aki + dom!reader, established relationship, cursing, mild pet analogy (it’s me what do you expect)

word count. 1.7k

synopsis. aki has a lesson to learn.

notes. minors don’t interact. found this in my drafts from like january so anon if ur still out there i hope u enjoy smile. i take commissions :3

The thing about Aki is that he doesn't mean to misbehave.

The thing about you is that you've never considered yourself overly strict.

But somehow, somewhere in the muddle of this, this being you two and whatever was becoming of your relationship, both of these factors have been thrust into the spotlight and interrogated. The problem is that Aki is a fighting dog whose leash is fraying more with every day, who rushes into conflict with his heart first and his brain struggling to catch up. The problem is that you care for him, despite the awful inevitability of how badly it will end weighing on your mind.

Aki likes to flirt with death, and you like to keep him safe. These factors, as you might imagine, clash frequently.

So—you either become the screeching, shrewish partner, leaving every night a sour argument where you don't face each other where you sleep. Or you take your frustration out in more productive ways. Because, truly—you don't like to yell at Aki. It makes him grumpy and stonefaced but more than that, it makes him hurt. You can see the flickers of it in his dark blue eyes, some fragment of his childhood that never healed properly, like an old wound that bleeds anew whenever you prod it. Tender and painful as skinned knees.

But this, this works for both of you, you think.

His fingers curl up his work slacks, bunching starched polyester between bitten nails. He's looking anywhere but at you, knelt between his legs, cheeks shaded pink beneath the tumbling bangs of ink-dark hair. "You don't have to," he starts, like he always does, ever the gentleman. It makes him a little twitchy to be given pleasure like it's a gift. It's so sweet that it almost makes you feel bad.

You take him in your hand, half-hard and hot, and he hisses. You have a sneaking suspicion, something that's been blooming for a while now, that you may have been the first person to touch Aki like this. The first time you'd slept together he'd had to mumble the names of all the Devils he had contracts with under his breath to last more than a minute inside you.

There's a wound on his hip the colour of a bloody sunset, jagged like a mountain silhouette. It almost seems to mock you as you stroke him loosely, gathering the pearly beads of pre that bloom at his tip as he gets more and more turned on, more sensitive. His chest shakes ones when he inhales, his hands twisting the fabric of his pants uncomfortably. Your slow, patient pace makes him almost overwhelmed, feeling it wrack out from between his thighs in torturously hot, slow waves, makes his whole body shudder.

Once he's hard, you say, "Tell me about today."

Aki grunts, brows furrowing. His hips cant up, once, a silent plea. But your hand has slowed now, so he tenses his jaw and sighs.

"Found a Devil," he says through gritted teeth. "Some a-abandoned warehouse."

"It gave you this?" You use the hand that was wrapped around his cock to stroke over the nasty gash on his skin, and he makes a wonderful shivery noise—both, you think, at the loss of contact to his hardness and the ghost of sharp pain that echoes from your touch along his wound.

"Yeah," he sighs shakily. He looks down at you now, eyes soft, almost pleading. "Could you—"

"You weren't alone, were you, Aki?" you ask, blinking up at him. You think he's starting to get the game now; blood runs up to colour his cheeks darker and his eyes flit away as though in shame. "Didn't you call for backup?"

"Too far away," he says, gritty with irritation. He feels foolish, sitting on the edge of the bed with his dick out. Still hard, despite you not having touched it for about half a minute. "I had it handled."

"You should've waited," you tell him.

"You're killing my hardon," he tells you flatly. You roll your eyes and pick up where you left off; when your hand wraps around him he lets out a shaky sigh and tips his head back towards the ceiling. You'll never tire of how sensitive he is, responding to every touch like it's the first time; when your hand wraps back around him his thighs clench and spasm all over again, and he makes a quiet noise in the back of his throat.

You stroke him, more firmly now, with the occasional focus on his tip. It starts to leak over your hand, and Aki makes a quiet, embarrassed grunt at the sight of it. Privately, you don't mind too much—unlike most guys, Aki has the grace to be abashed by it, which is already enough to put him in your good books—but his humiliation is an added bonus you'd happily put up with some less-than-savoury things for.

You're mean, maybe, in the way a bunny thinks their owner is mean for locking them in a hutch each night. But, you know, the owner only does that for the bunny's own safety.

Sometimes, the owner really does know better.

Aki's thighs twitch; you amuse yourself watching the spasm of the muscles play across beneath the smooth, pale skin, thinking absently of how you'd like to get your mouth on that soft flesh inside. "Y/n," he warns, voice catching, breathy. "I—dammit, I'm gonna—"

You make a thoughtful noise, and then release your grip entirely. Aki gapes down at you, eyes snapping open. "What the hell?" he fumes.

"Say that you should have waited for backup," you tell him patiently. Your positions are some perverse subversion of power; he looms over you, strong legs bracketing your face. By all accounts, you're surrounded as you look up at him. But he's the one looking at you like you've shot him in the chest. His brows knit together in frustration.

"Are you fucking joking?" he gapes. "What is this? You—"

"Aki," you say, so softly that it must frighten him because he stops short, looking at you warily. "You know I care about you, so much, yeah?"

"I—" he looks thrown, impossibly lost. "I guess? Yeah."

"Good." You lean your head on his knee, watching how his throat bobs when he looks at you. His thighs twitch almost indecipherably at the contact, erection showing no sign of flagging. "And you know I want to protect you, and keep you safe? I want you to want that, too."

"I..." Aki's voice is taking on a hoarse tinge. "I know... that."

"Then why do you keep throwing yourself in such dangerous situations?" You unspool a nail up the inside of his leg, and he gasps slightly in anticipation. "What are you going to do next time?"

"I—" he cuts himself off, strangled. "I'm going to... call for backup."

Your finger trails to a halt. "You mean that?"

"Yeah," he says, a little frantically. "I will. I swear. Y/n, please—"

You lean forward, brushing your lips against him. Aki moans, eyes widening as his pupils expound until his eyes are less sodalite and more black-hole. You let your tongue flicker out and trace over the head, tasting him, putting your hands on his thighs so you can feel him strain to hold back. Ever the gentleman, Aki hates to lose control and buck into your mouth. It still happens sometimes, of course, because at his heart he's a needy inexperienced hunter and you revel in the punishment of pretty things. It's mean, you know, to goad him where he's a little helpless.

But the owner knows best. You know how to get him to remember his lesson.

You draw back, pressing a final kiss to the head of his cock like tying the ribbon on a giftbox. Aki blinks blearily at you, mouth slack, expression adorably confused as you wipe at your lips with a thumb.

"What—" he croaks.

"I want you to remember what you said, Aki," you tell him sternly. "I can't reward bad behaviour."

You think he's getting it. Box. Rat. Electric shock. Et cetera.

"Wait," he pleads, brows scrunching together in honest-to-god panic. "I'll remember, okay? I told you I would. I won't misbehave."

"And I want to believe you." Your hand draws soothing circles on his knee and it makes his bottom lip quiver slightly. "So... when you show me you're taking your safety seriously, then you'll get a reward."

Aki's mouth hangs open. "You're serious," he croaks with some shattering finality; he shuts his eyes against the blue-dark, whole body shuddering. "You're fucking... what if I just decide to jack off?"

"You can do that," you shrug. "But I think you know what'll happen if you do."

Aki makes a frustrated noise; he glances down at his erection, starting to flag only slightly. He wants you to touch him so badly; all he can think of is your fingers, your mouth, your hair in his fingers. Or, withholding that, he could at least slide his fingers around himself and get himself off, like he used to mostly infrequently before you.

But if he does that, how long will you hold out for? He knows, with a cold sort of dread, that you can hold out much, much longer than him. He's gotten a taste of it and now he can't be satisfied; it's the one area of his life where he totally lacks any semblance of self-control.

So with a devastated whimper, he reaches down and tucks himself gingerly back into his underwear. He's so turned on it almost stings as his briefs tug on his erection, and it's so much worse when he stiffly tugs up his slacks and buttons them again. For a moment after he just sits on the bed, breathing shakily until he's red in the face, trying not to squirm.

You stand up, brush a lock of his hair back, smiling as he leans pathetically into the touch. There's a lukewarm sweat beading on his brow. "I'm so proud of you, honey. I'm going to start dinner, okay? You stay in here and relax. You've had such a hard day."

Aki's eyes burn into your back as you turn and leave. It takes every modicum of mental fortitude he has not to throw himself on the ground and beg and sob for you to touch him. The thought of going without is almost painful.

He stares down at the faint bulge in his slacks, gripping his own thigh for support. Wonders about grinding the heel of his hand against it, just for some momentary relief.

Aki shuts his eyes. He doesn't want to misbehave. And he does not touch.

[gorgeous777]

Hellooooo!! If its okay, could you pls do a fic with established severus × wife reader (who is also a professor) who hits his humor PERFECTLY‼️

Im talking, biting his tongue, turning red, FIGHTING to keep his composure and not burst out laughing from something she says or does, ESPECIALLY IN THe GREAT HALL‼️

He has a reputation🙄 he cant be caught giggling!

(But in the end, he eventually bursts into laughter during one of the staff meetings, leaving dumbledore and McGonagall jawdropped)

I FIND THIS SO FUNNY TO ME HELPPPP

Foolish, Severus Snape x Fem. Reader

A/N: Tried my absolute best with this. As always, not proof read.

Enjoy!

______________________________

When Severus took on his job at Hogwarts, you were quick to follow. It was shortly after the two of you married, and you didn't like the idea of him being away for the majority of the year. And so began the next several years of your lives as two professors with the same last name. It mostly causes confusion for the first years, but given some time they sort it out. One of the biggest contributors to sorting the two of you from each other was your drastic polar opposite personalities.

Severus was well.. Himself, in the gentlest of terms. While you loved him, he made it very hard for anyone else, especially students too as well. And you? You were fun and easy to talk to or approach. Just about everything Severus wasn't on the outside. Luckily for you, you got to see what was on the inside as well. And boy did you love to abuse that. Part of knowing the eye of the storm was knowing what brought it out.

The easiest way to achieve that was through humor. Believe it or not, the man is capable of laughter. And a lot of it at that. Much to his annoyance and embarrassment, you poked fun at that during the worst possible times. It'd be fine if it was just the two of you alone, like in your chambers or after office hours. But no. That would be far less entertaining for you.

There was a small period of time where you had some difficulty finding ways to keep up your mischief, however. Harry Potter had come to Hogwarts and just opened up a whole world of bad memories for the man. While it wasn't the child's fault he was the spitting image of his father, your husband's biggest bully, you still sympathized with him. And then Gilderoy Lockhart got hired. That window got reopened because of it. If there was one thing Severus found funny it was making fun of stupid people. And who was a better target than Lockhart?

From the moment that man sat down at the High Table you cooked up about half a million jokes to make about him. The moment the blonde laid eyes on you he got it into his head that you would have the hots for him. He was a celebrity after all. He was yet to find a woman he wanted that didn't want him in turn. During the first feast of the year/sorting ceremony, he was quick to sit beside you. Luckily though, Severus was already on your other side.

"Hello"

You slowly turn to look at the blonde, confused and baffled by his audacity. You were literally just in the middle of a conversation with your husband.

"Uhm.. Hi?"

"I'm Gilderoy Lockhart, though you probably already knew that" while boasting, he wore that signature arrogant smile and ran a hair through his hair. You were unimpressed.

"Right.. I'm Y/N Snape," you pull back, gesturing to the man on your other side. "and this is my husband Severus"

Severus, ever the cherub, met Gilderoy with the nastiest sneer he could muster. Instantly the blonde faltered. He fumbled over his words and gave a very cowardly greeting before quickly turning his attention to whoever was sitting on his other side. You scoff, turning to face your husband.

"Ridiculous. I could have sworn common sense was more common in our generation"

Severus gave a brief eyebrow raise at your comment, taking a sip of his drink. That one wasn't so funny, but at least you got a good reaction out of him. And fortunately for you, Gilderoy had an insatiable habit of making an utter fool of himself. During the first week of the term he very obnoxiously expressed that.

He went and gave every member of staff a copy of every book he'd ever written. Severus was quick to immediately throw all of them away. In front of Gilderoy. You however, kept them and read them. After all, you needed some sort of ammunition against the man. It wasn't an easy feat though. If anyone with a brain read his books after spending more than ten seconds with him they could see he was a liar and a fat mouth. During dinner in the Great Hall during dinner one night, the hedonistic fool was back at it. Though, he never really stopped to begin with.

Growing tired of listening to his endless boasting while waiting for everyone to show up to the meeting, you leaned over to Severus in the most nonchalant way you could.

"The other day he tried to flirt with me again"

"If only you were adaptable to his charm." Severus drawled, giving his eyes a roll.

"He tried to tell me that he knew a thing or two about potions himself. In case I ever got tired of constantly going to you. Even claimed he could easily tutor you."

Severus clenched his jaw tightly, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the blonde man a few seats down.

"And what did you tell him?"

"That hair gel doesn't count"

Your husband choked out a snort of laughter, then instantly composing himself. You grinned widely at his reaction. Finally, a good one out of him. A few teachers within vicinity caught his choked snicker and turned to look at the otherwise brooding man in confusion. A few students seemed to have noticed it as well, not sure if he was in pain or not.

He glared at you out of the corner of his eye, to which your grin grew into a smirk. So Gilderoy was the perfect source of comedy after all. Noticing the attention shifting from him to Severus, Gilderoy wasted no time turning his attention to the two of you.

"Y/N, Snape. How are you this fine evening?"

Severus gave Gilderoy a less than pleased look. The man had recently taken to only addressing to you by first name and Severus by last. And by no means were you on a first name basis with him.

"Splendid! My husband and I were just talking about your genius"

"Oh you were? Hah, yes. It is rather extraordinary, isn't it?"

"Your pension for total ignorance in every word coming out of your mouth? Yes, yes I dare say it is"

Severus' lips tightened into a very firm thin line, holding back another snicker. What you said wasn't all that funny, sure. But rather Gilderoy's reaction is what got him. He flicked his eyes away, shoulders tensing. Gilderoy, fumbled. Like he did everytime you said something mean to him.

"W-Well, what is ignorance to some is pure genius to others. It's a matter of opinion really"

"I'm sure. You would know all about that, wouldn't you?"

Severus then got up and left the Hall, practically holding his breath. Your gall was part of why he married you, but he despised it a little now. There were a few incidents similar to that one later on, but when Severus really broke wasn't until the staff Yule party. Like every year, there was a secret Santa within the staff. Luckily, neither you or Severus got Gilderoy, or the other way around.

That didn't stop the theatrics, unfortunately. Gilderoy had gotten Minerva. You pitted her, knowing she thought the blonde as much as you and your husband did. He, as predicted, mad a total ass of himself during the gift exchange at the party. He had given Minerva his latest book and a signed picture of himself. As if she, or anyone in their right mind would want that. Let alone for Christmas.

You along with all of the staff alike were sat at a large table together. Gilderoy was sat next to Minerva, and you and Severus were directly across from the two. Gilderoy to you and Minerva to Severus. The blonde handed Minerva his gift, his usual proud smile on.

"Here you are my dear, no need to thank me. I know it's spectacular"

Minerva side eyed Gilderoy and then opened the wrapped parcel. After pulling the two things out and judging them for a moment, she gave a tight lipped thank you. You however, were not nearly as composed as your co-worker was.

"Are you serious?!"

You exclaimed, earning the attention of everyone.

"Who in this room other than yourself would ever, and I mean ever want that?! The whole purpose of the Secret Santa is to highlight how well we know on another! You could have at least had the decency to pretend to care about what Minnie would have liked!"

Gilderoy opened and closed his mouth a few times, attempting to speak but nothing came out but sputtering. The entire room was dead silent for a beat or two, everyone equally as socked as the other. And then it happened. The most glorious thing. Severus burst out into laughter. Not a snicker or snort. A full blown fit of raw, loud laughter. It only took a few moments of shock for his laughter to spread to other professors.

Soon the entire room was bubbling. You smiled. That was the best reaction you'd ever gotten from him by far.

[prideprejudce]

I think alot more people would enjoy the show if they learned to see Rhaenyra and Alicent as Unreliable Narrators, and characters who are supposed to have glaring flaws and weaknesses.

Mandatory preface- There are Issues™️ with season 2 that are its own other ask- but the complaints ive seen about character assassination on both women kind of tells me ppl just wanted to see the two just GirlBossing around, not being tragic characters trapped in their own circumstances.

For Alicent specifically- she just isn't written to be Cersei 2.0, and while it was really interesting to see motherhood from cersei's point of view, its already been done!! I actually prefer seeing Alicent's mercurial clinging to and abandoning motherhood- its interesting!! She was made a mother at what- 15? An age where you truly arent mentally developed enough to raise 3 kids, AND be a child bride, AND be a queen, (AND be a lesbian).

Alicent is interesting to me because she's stunted at 15 years old, she's an adult woman who talks to and sometimes bullies her kids as if they are her peers, and is obsessed with her childhood crush(es). She hasn't built any new relationships* past the ones she was entangled with as a teenager, she's obsessed with both acting out to make SOMEONE see that shes suffering, (she's honestly pretty blatant for someone who prides themselves on being the Temperate Voice of Reason) but also to erase herself and reset to before she had to marry the king, before aemma died.

I think most of her 'bad out of character' decisions are just these two impulses winning out, her trying to force a reset, go back to a time where none of this had happened yet, when things were simpler and she had love and every day wasn't the worst day of her life™️.

She sleeps with cole, the man she thought was pretty at 15 (her last uncomplicated attraction just before it all went wrong and aemma died) -she doesnt seem to like it that much, but she does seem compelled to seek him out, esp when upset- shes obsessed with, and desperate to reconnect with Rhaenyra, her childhood best friend (and first love) and get back to where they were as kids, AND she still treats and asks her father for absolution as if he's still the only authority that matters to her just like she did at 15. Alot of her 'victim complex/bewildered they took it so far' behaviour in the plotting of rhaenyra's usurption reads to me like a teenager in over her head, she talked big game and now its real and shes panicking!! She's tragic BECAUSE she's still a teenager- so stunted shes unable to meaningfully grow up and learn to make healthier choices for herself, or move on and stop trying to grasp at the 'if i could just go back' urge.

As a mother, I think this creates an interesting dynamic as well, and I do like that in the casting even, she seems closer in age to her kids than rhaenyra does to hers. I think the contrast ppl are drawing with Alicent Protecting Her Kids in season1 compared to her giving them up in season two isn't bad writing to me, just massive differences in context. Sure she protected Aemond in driftmark, but we cant ignore that she probably felt humiliated by her husband choosing rhaenyra's side over hers in front of everyone, did it seem like a grown woman fighting for her son?? or a teenager furious with her ex winning one over her again? or both!! both sides twisted together is still interesting! When she protected Aegon from Rhaenys, is stepping in front of her son the king to protect him from the enemies dragon fire not the most romantic daydream of a deserving death a child bride could come up with?? Was it the impulse to protect the son she couldnt decide if she loved or hated, or was it to have the most heroic death possible to escape the reality that she sees coming. And if Rhaenyra hears about how Brave she was in the face of a dragons maw, and cries about it forever and feels sooo bad and regrets it til the day she dies, thats an added bonus. I think Alicent loves her kids, but is teenager selfish about HOW she loves and protects her kids, and is unable to be a mature, consistant, protective mother to them when she also sees them as having ruined her life. I think in season 2 when she 'gives them up' shes relieved, and once again following the compulsion of 'if i reset to when Rhaenyra was heir, i had no sons, and i wasn't married or queen, everything will be better'. I think theres complexity to it, i think she does love her sons and feels insane about it, but I think Alicent has been trying to Go Back in more and more Intense ways ever since she got married, and we might be giving her sanity more credit than it deserves when it comes to the need to wipe the board clean and go back to being 15.

hey anon are you trying to get married to me or what

[sheepispink]

The Perfect Pair

Masterlist AO3

WC: 7.6k Tags: fluff, marriage of convenience, leon kennedy/ reader

Summary: Leon can barely hold himself upright most days and you've finally decided to ditch the DSO life in pursuit of happiness. However, that'd mean leaving all those beautiful tax benefits and medical insurance behind. Turns out Leon and Chris are pretty persuasive, landing you as Leon's 'wife' but you cant help but start to feel something more, unaware that Leon's already set his eyes on you for life.

It’d been a long day at work, the usual really— Chris had roped him into dealing with another bioweapon appearance, thus leading him to take a helicopter to some trashy place, locating the bioweapon, and promptly knocking its freaky nature out of action. Now he lugged his weary feet home to the apartment you shared, his stomach craving a taste of something only your skilled hands would prepare for him. After a short elevator trip that thankfully alleviated the ache of his feet for a moment, he reached the front door and, with a quick fumble with the keys he had inserted the right one inside, opening the door.

“I’m home.” He calls out, his raspy voice filling the silent yet serene space before him. He somehow grew used to this; the sight of two sets of keys on the hook, the vast difference in style as he places his shoes on the rack, and the two coats on the bannister, one far smaller than the other. “Smells good..” He mumbles beneath his breath, making his way towards the kitchen where you stand, back facing him as you work your hands through a ball of minced meat.

“Welcome home.” You turn to meet his hungry gaze with your typical warm smile, heart warming at the exhausted look on his face and even more so that he’d soon find relief in the food you had made.

“You’re lucky, we had just enough mince meat in the freezer for your favourite beef burgers.” That was a lie. You had woken up early this morning and decided he had looked far too tired recently, and it’d been far too long since he’d had his favourite meal. So, as any good wife does, you wanted to make him feel better and took to the nearest supermarket, picking up all the ingredients you needed and some for a tasty dessert too. He always denied that he enjoyed sweet treats, but he would always be the first to finish them, whether it was a sweet chocolate mousse or a tasty doughnut you picked up on the way home.

He chuckles, his hand disappearing into his work jacket as he slips off the leather and lays it on the back of a wooden chair. It then migrates to his collar, tugging on it to alleviate the heat through his body, which is proven by the thin layer of sweat covering his limbs.

“Oh? Thanks, I was sure you finished it last week when you gave Kitty a gourmet meal for once.”

This home wouldn’t be complete without its resident cat, a Siamese fur ball that Leon graciously named ‘Kitty’ though he has no doubt referred to it with a million different names anyway.

“I guess I must've missed a bit. I really treated her for nothing.” While he was smirking, your mind was far from the lightheartedness of this conversation, currently panicking over his words. He had seriously caught you out there; of course you finished the mince, last week but was he actually accusing you of lying or worse—did he know? As you let out an awkward chuckle, he speaks up again, undoing his belt with one hand as his other grabs a glass from the shelf to fill with water. “I’m not complaining though; they really are my favourites for a reason.” He drinks down the glass of water in one swig, letting out a satisfied breath before rolling his shoulders back. “I’m gonna take a quick shower—I don't want to drown your nose with my sweat.” He chuckles again, finally leaving you alone in the kitchen again as he takes his path up the stairs to your shared bedroom.

To say your relationship with him was complicated was a massive understatement; it was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, feelings that felt illicit, and signals that were impossible to decipher. Well, for you it felt like this—you’re not so sure about him. In fact, for someone who sleeps beside him nearly everyday, cooks him meals, eats dinner with him, and even drops off his lunch, you barely knew anything about the man.

This all began when you decided to quit the DSO, finally having enough money to move to a more peaceful job with flexible hours and still end up supporting yourself. You had only worked in communications at the DSO, but that was still a pain in itself. Before you left, they had an informal work dinner. A bunch of agents and other workers came along to a diner for some food before heading to mess around at a karaoke place before the weekend hit. With so many people around, it grew far too hot too quickly, and you soon wandered the halls seeking a breath of fresh air before you heard your name called by an agent. The voice belonged to Chris Redfield–your superior—who was beckoning you to come over, cigarette in hand, to where he stood with Leon right beside him. They were both your superiors in the work field but were perceived as far more important due to the missions they accomplished and lives they saved.

“Yes..?”

You were more confused than scared or anything of the like—why did they even want to talk to you? It’s not like you often saw them. Even so, you walked over to them, trying to reduce the awkwardness when you slipped your hands into the pockets of your jacket, tilting your head slightly.

“You’re gonna leave soon, right?” Leon asks, taking a swig of the golden whisky in his glass whilst Chris blows another puff of smoke off to the side.

“Yeah, I wanted to move onto a different job, a quieter one that isn't so taxing.” You shrug, having only thought out a bit of it so far.

Chris and Leon shared a glance at each other before Leon spoke once more, rolling back his shoulders a little. “You see, I have a bit of a predicament, and Chris thought you could help.”

Before you know it, he’s explaining how busy his work is and that he barely gets home in time for a sip of water before he knocks out, and you’re not really sure how this is your problem until Chris butts in.

“So basically, he needs a wife. You, on the other hand, won't have any of the perks of the DSO since you’re leaving, which includes medical insurance, tax benefits..” He trailed off as you started to ponder it, you really would lose a lot of the things you had grown to exist around. It would be very difficult to manage, and you can't say you’d miss a lot of those perks greatly. The two men give each other a glance as you speak up, nodding along. “You’re right, I will miss out a lot, but I really don't want to stay here longer..” Before Leon can even try and slide it in, Chris has already blurted it out.

“Well, you won't lose anything if you marry him.”

So, after a bunch of awkward talks and surviving interrogations from your coworkers, you ended up with a small wedding, which was mainly done to please your own parents rather than yourselves. Now you’re here, almost a year into this non formal contractual marriage, and your feelings are muddled. Very muddled. It’s hard to not catch feelings when you’re somewhat of a hopeless romantic yourself, or maybe the teenage girl mentality came back full force now you have a lot more free time. You owed him a fair amount to be fair—he didn’t realise how stress-free your life was these days. Wake up, eat a healthy breakfast, maybe watch some television too, head down to the small little bakery you own and teach the part time teenager there before wrapping up at four o'clock and heading home again. Your skin had cleared up, you were actually able to sleep in on the weekends and actually do whatever you want— pick up new hobbies, eat proper meals, and read books to your heart's content.

What you’ve concluded is that your life has drastically improved and you are more relaxed than you’ve ever been. The problem with that is that with the new addition of all this free time and air to breathe in, you’re able to actually think about the man you’ve married. In simpler terms that you tried to deny for a year now, you’ve caught feelings—a lot of feelings for him. That’s why you’re currently stuck in a conundrum; you’re technically allowed to pursue said feelings, as you’re married and no longer ‘colleagues’ needing to act professionally, but does he want the same?

The pan starts to sizzle, snapping you out of your daydreaming as you place the flattened patty into the oil, lightly frying each side. Being his wife meant looking after him as much as he did to you, so cooking was often your chore to handle. Even though you were more than happy to do most of the chores, he’d still help with the dishes after dinner and often cooked when he could—when he was exhausted from another mission. Plus, he did his own laundry. He would’ve done yours too, though after the first time he tried, your cheeks had flushed immediately when he handed you a pile of your freshly washed underwear and t-shirts, and you quickly told him you’d do your own.

The staircase groans as he steps down the stairs, his movements a lot slower now that he had let the tension ease from his muscles in the shower. So far, you’ve managed to cook four patties, which was more than enough to satisfy his stomach and yours. But you had an extra two for his lunch tomorrow and because he tended to have a third burger “just because it’d be a shame to let it go to waste.” That’s when you hear him curse softly under his breath, turning back to glance at him in confusion. “What’s wrong?” His hair is damp, still dripping with water onto the white tee he wears. It’s loose and the one you bought him last month when you went on a shopping spree. You try to ignore the way your eyes naturally drift towards his chest; a small sliver of his pale skin peeks out where his hand disappears under his shirt, rubbing his abdomen in a strange way. “Did you get hurt?” You continue, turning down the heat on the hob so you can turn to face him better.

“Oh? This?”

He lifts the shirt a little, revealing the bruise on his right side of his stomach, and also gives you a perfect view of his toned abs. Damn. “It’s not as bad as it looks..” He mumbles, but his eyebrows are still knitted in a frowning gesture. “I’m annoyed because I missed an opportunity..”

That makes you blink, wondering what he could’ve missed in the time he went for his shower and came back here. Did he get a phone call? Or perhaps something happened this week you hadn't picked up on?

“An opportunity?”

“Yeah. I completely missed the chance to ask you, ‘What's cookin, Good Lookin?’. Damnit..”

Did the corniest line to ever exist really just make your chest tighten for a second?

You can’t deny the fact that the line itself had made your lips part as you stood there dumbfounded. Leon had a history with corny one-liners; in fact, whenever his colleagues happened to see you, they’d always mention whatever stupid thing he said during a mission. He’d say it to you occasionally too, usually random puns that he’d quietly snicker about, but he’d never quite openly flirt with you like that. Was it supposed to be a joke? Was it real? You couldn't tell, and so you quickly turned back around before your patties ended up burnt.

“O-of course only you would worry more about that than your own injuries.” His snickering is obvious behind you as you place the cooked patties onto a small plate. “Stop pestering me and go sit down at the table.” You feign annoyance, grumbling as you hide the furious flush of pink upon your cheeks. Unfortunately for you, he didn’t intend to give up that easily, walking up behind you and peering over your shoulder with his hands planted on the counter on either side of your waist.

“That was a good one, c’mon.” He argues, the most exaggerated pout on his face quickly disappearing when he watches the burgers sizzle in the pan. He loves your food so damn much.

“That was not a good one, shoo.”

Thankfully, he ends up leaving you alone in favour of Kitty, who had just woken up from her nap— eager to play with him even if it just means chasing after a wrapper he had thrown across the room. You place down two plates at the table, as per usual, along with a plate full of salad, a bowl of fresh chips you fried, and the small plate of patties— six to be exact. Then, you place down the two fancy glasses you bought last week and grab your usual favourite canned drink while grabbing a Coke Zero for him. Finally, you place Kitty’s dinner on the floor which she runs over for, immediately gobbling up the food. “She’s just like you.” You giggle, watching as she hungrily wolfs down the food, thus making him groan in return. “I do not eat like that.”

Dinner is the same. You’ll ask about his day in which he usually retorts in grunts and moans about the government, incompetent workers, and that woman.. Ada. Just the mention of her name used to make him go quiet back when you worked at the DSO, and even in the first few months of your “marriage”, he would shrug off the subject quickly. Now he talks about it here and there, mentioning how she suddenly appears and always seems to know his location. For some reason, it puts a sick feeling in your stomach, like someone is dragging their nails across the flesh of your insides.

“Ada.. was there. Ever since I saved the president’s daughter, it’s like she’s followed me everywhere. She helps me.. but then she claims to not care..?”

His words stopped registering in your mind after a while as your teeth grit against each other and you absentmindedly dipped your chip into ketchup over and over again. You can’t believe he could be so naive. She had played him once in Raccoon City, faking her identity and using him to her advantage. The same played out in Spain even if she ‘saved’ him. You didn't care about her damn motives; she worked for the enemy, and it irked you—she just used whatever she could to gain her benefit, and it seemed like no one could stop her.

“Earth to my beautiful wife, hello?” He waved his hand in front of your furrowed eyebrows and the obvious scowl upon your face. “You look like you just ate something you find disgusting. I thought you liked this too.”

You immediately realise you had zoned out, your face shifting to something sheepish before you finally stick the ketchup-soaked chip into your mouth. You didn't even get a chance to process what he just called you.

“No, it’s not the food; I was just thinking. Sorry, it’s nothing.”

That only serves to make him all the more curious, though he doesn't push it, instead continuing his story. “Where was I? Oh, right, then Ada shot—” He cuts himself off as your eyes immediately narrow, and you lower your head, picking with your food again subconsciously. It doesn’t take much to piece the clues together, his lips twitching upwards as a smile threatens to spread. Though he wants to test his suspicions one more time.

“Wanna hear something crazy? Ada tried to kiss me again.”

“What?!” You immediately sit up straight, the scowl returning just as fast and teeth grit, but it quickly softens when you see the smirk on his face.

“I knew it. You hate her, don’t you?” Leon always saw right through you, thankfully not with your growing feelings yet, and it made it all the harder to keep his marriage… Well, just as a contract.

“Fine, maybe I don’t like her. So what? She’s not exactly the most moral person.” You say, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly as you take a bite out of your burger and chew it down. “She helps Umbrella, can you really blame me?” That only makes his lips twitch again, and he leans his elbows on the table, eyes trained on every feature of your face.

“Are you jealous of her?” That almost makes you choke on the burger, and you have to take a large gulp of your drink to swallow down the rest of the food, your face immediately pinkening. It can’t be possible—there’s no way you’re jealous of that cunning, manipulative, hot, extremely hot woman. How did she even look that good?

“Ha— she should be jealous of me.” You scoff boldly, finishing the last of your burger soon after.

“Oh, and why’s that? Because you’re the one wedded to me?

A moment earlier, your heart would’ve described his face as a perfectly carved sculpture, the ones that people bid thousands to place in their homes because not showing off such a perfect creation would be a crime. Right now, he wore a sly grin with his eyebrows raised as he eyed you suggestively.

And that look was very punchable.

“Because I'm living the dream. I’ve got a bakery, a ton of free time, and I guess you’re there too, I suppose.”

With a roll of your eyes, you dismiss his words quickly, even though the faintest blush on your cheeks betrays your true thoughts. What if you said yes? What happens then?

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t give me that satisfaction.” He feigns a pout before his grin returns as he takes a massive bite into his second burger of the night. Of course, he just has to make an exaggerated moan, one elbow leaning on the table as the other covers his face dramatically.

“This is heavenly, you know? One day I swear I'll start dreaming about these burgers.”

There he goes again, babbling on about Lord knows what and his corny lines again. You can't help but flash a small cheeky smile, winking as you pour yourself a glass of water from the pitcher.

“Another reason for her to be jealous of me.”

Once the dinner has been packed away by his speedy hands, he’s returned to make the couch his home again, stretching his whole body against the length of it like a cat would. You’re placing the dishes into your dishwasher before inserting a tablet and putting it on for three hours. As you walk over to wipe down the table, you notice his eyes have fluttered close as he groans and gets comfortable on the cushions. You can't say you didn't feel a tinge of affection—well, much more than that, like a heap almost—every time he crashed out like this, completely exhausted from a mission. “Weekend tomorrow..” You remind him with a gentle hum, swiftly removing any stray stains off the table. “Don’t you want to have a good sleep, y'know, in bed?”

He lets out a muffled grumble in response, burying his face into the cushions before he reluctantly sits up, making you smile a little more—you’d scold him regularly about lying down after eating. “What movie d’ya wanna watch?” He says even if he would usually wander his way to the bedroom after you said that. It’s been at least a month since you had been together like this to watch a movie. A lot had changed in that month, specifically your growing feelings for him. Perhaps distance really does bring fondness, you think.

“I don’t mind; you like action, no?” You finish wiping down the dirt from dinner to glance over whatever he’s doing on the television, only to find him flicking through your favourite genre of movies. Shoving down the warmth on your cheeks is near impossible as you speed walk back to the kitchen. Were these signs? Were you reading too much into it? Your teeth graze against each other nervously as you look up to see him waiting expectantly on the couch for you to join him. What the hell is happening right now? He had always gone to bed immediately or scrolled through his phone for a while— so what’s with the sudden change?

Moments later you’re sitting beside him on the couch, knees tucked to your chest as he presses play on the movie he picked—the one you had mentioned you wanted to watch when it first got announced that it was in production. Despite your excitement, you could hardly concentrate on the movie when he was practically centimetres from you. He was leaning back against the cushions, one arm resting around the back of the couch where you sat and the other comfortably against the armrest. If you had just moved your head back slightly, you would brush against his arm. If you did that, would he wrap it around your shoulders? Just the thought makes you shudder a little, your chin moving forward to sit comfortably on your knees. It was like you were a teenage girl again, sitting in the movies with your crush while you wondered if he thought of you as a friend or something more. You couldn't even believe you were acting like this—hell the two of you were married legally, not to mention you were both grown adults! Who cares if he had just stretched out his arms, his shirt riding up, and you could see the scars on his stomach? Your breath hitching when he had shuffled up to you was completely unnecessary; the warmth radiating off of him was irrelevant, no matter if the characters were kissing on the screen right now. You practically jump when he pokes your shoulder with his hand, your head snapping to him instantly, and you can barely even form a noise when you see how close his face is to yours. His eyes had to be one of your favourite things about him, or was it the messy mop of dirty blond hair on his head? It could even be the sharpness of his jawline, the lines of wear beneath his eyes, how perfectly his nose seemed to be carved, or perhaps, crazily enough, the way his voice rang out in your ears in the mornings.

“Do we have any dessert? I’m craving something sweet.”

Every step back into the kitchen is like torture from how hot your cheeks are, the cold fridge air doing nothing to soothe the embarrassment as you grab the microwave puddings you had bought today. You can't believe you had been so flustered by the proximity that all that had escaped you was a strangled noise before you just hurriedly nodded and escaped to the kitchen. Those five seconds between the poke and his words felt like a millennia— an incredibly romantically tense millennia— where for those whole five seconds, you stupidly thought he’d kiss you right then and there. You fan yourself as if that’ll soothe the metaphoric rush of warmth in your face right now, incredibly embarrassed by your own thoughts and desires. When you sit back down again, you quickly hand him the hot pudding and sit further away from him this time. If you even felt that again, you felt like you’d simply explode altogether.

Unbeknownst to you, he was now wondering if you were annoyed that he had interrupted, and he frowned as he glanced down at the plate with just a singular spoon. Weren’t you going to eat too? Not to mention, you were all stiff and sitting further from him than before—now you’re really twisting the knife in his heart. First he had agitated you by teasing you about Ada, then he laid on the couch right after dinner like you always told him not to do, and now you even refused to eat dessert! Maybe he isn't putting enough effort into all of this as he originally thought. After all, you did a lot to run a bakery in town and still cook, clean, and look after his cat. So, he decides to take a shot and scoops up a particularly chocolatey part of the pudding, the part he always eats first, and holds the spoon up to your lips.

“I know you’re mad, but you can't deny this.” He plasters his typical boyish grin, nudging your lips with the metal of the spoon. But he’s caught off guard when you pull back in surprise, waving your hands around frantically in denial. “H-huh? I ate a lot of sweet things today already—”

“Shut up. Don’t you dare even say you’re on a diet either; you’re perfect already.”

He pushes the spoon against your lips which you accidentally part in surprise at his words, the warm chocolate filling your mouth immediately like an instant boost of serotonin.

“See, it's good, told ya.” He says smugly as you swallow down the tasty pudding and sauce. That’s only for a moment before he notices the smudge of chocolate around your lips from his struggle, casually wiping away the crumbs with his thumb before licking it.

He had just wiped the crumbs.

He wiped it from your lips.

He wiped it and then licked it off his hand.

He didn't even think twice.

“I-its not bad-” That was all you could mutter out before he committed the crime, and now you were left dumbstruck as you watched him casually lick his thumb and then take another spoon of the dessert—the same spoon you just ate from. He leans back against the couch again, about to shove another in your mouth once he gets comfortable enough, though he quickly realises that you still haven’t spoken since. “You can’t still be mad; I’ll shove another one in your mouth, you know—” At that, you know you’re sure to blurt out the truth, and you scramble up, about to make an excuse about needing a glass of water, before your wrist is caught in his hand, and you’re promptly pulled back against the couch again.

“Hm? Where are you going, pink cheeks?”

He says it teasingly, instantly making you flush all the more. You couldn’t understand how anyone could even be so casual about these things, not that you had little experience in the area, but seriously— he had literally just licked the chocolate on your face. That was an indirect kiss!

“Do you do this with all your friends?” The frown on your face is suddenly a little harsher, accusing, and suddenly there's a hint of betrayal. That only serves to confuse him more, you’ve been acting off for a while now, had he cheated in his sleep or something? “What? You’re not my friend, though? That's not comparable.”

He doesn't even see you as a friend? You can't help the way your heart drops in a way you’ve never felt before in your life; it almost hurts the way he can just so easily dismiss you after all the time you’ve spent together—contractual or not. “I- I see how it is..”

“See how what is? You’re not making much sense.” His eyes narrow as you suddenly turn your head away from him, arms crossing firmly on your chest, but what doesn’t escape him is the sudden daze in your eyes. Gently, his hand grabs your chin, squashing your cheeks as he forces you to face him, and his mind instantly clicks all the pieces together.

“.. (Name).” He says firmly, making you let out a small hum in acknowledgement, unaware of the way your eyes are suddenly a lot wetter than they had been before.

“What did you drink earlier?”

“What? All I drank was water, mostly.”

“What about when I told you about Ada, was that water?” Your eyebrows furrow as you hear him repeat her name again, immediately growing more frustrated. “What about her now?”

He lets out a heavy sigh, wrapping a firm arm around your shoulders before he forces you to settle against the couch against him. “You drank some of my drink, didn't you? You were way too annoyed to even notice the whiskey I mixed in.”

The thought immediately clicks into your head; everything is suddenly a lot clearer now, even though you still weren't quite sober yet. Plus, you were pretty much a lightweight when it came to his strong stuff. It perfectly explained the warmth spreading through your chest, the uncoordinated actions, and the way nothing seemed to follow the way your head wanted it to. “S-still, you said I’m not even your friend.” Gently, his thumb rubs the tears that have formed in your eyes and tucks you close into him with his arm snugly around you. Just in case you decide to face plant off the couch as you seemed to want to do before. “You’re not my friend; you’re my wife. Who else would I treat like that?”

“I’m not your real wife though.” You slowly look up at him, turning your head, so your glossy eyes can stare up into his, searching for the right answer— the truth.

“Those papers seem pretty real to me. The way I feel is also pretty real to me.”

He grins at you like he hadn't doubted that fact for a second, and he hadn't, not since you both had signed and received the certificate, one he sometimes sneaks a small fond peek at whilst you’re sleeping. Not that he’d tell you, at least not yet.

“But— I’m not your wife; that’s my title, but I don't act like that.”

“So? I still love you as anyone would with their wife; do you really think I wouldn't fall for you? You’re even more perfect than I imagined.”

You’re momentarily stunned into silence, not quite expecting that but still not believing it quickly, your tipsy mind making you say things that you never would before.

“That's because I do everything for you— not that I mind b-but, I just act like a good partner. You don't feel romantically for me.” You huff, your teeth gritting together as you pettily narrow your eyes at him. What you hadn't considered is that he’d tuck your hair behind your ears, carefully pull you into his lap, and take one of your hands in his. He fondles your hand beneath his, his thumb rubbing gently over the skin before he brings it up to rest on his cheek, smiling fondly at you.

“I’ve been busy, I know. It’s quite hard having an agent as a partner, no? I already regret all the love I've lacked to give you.” This time, you’re positive that your cheeks are reacting to him, breath hiccuping when he turns his face in your grasp. His lips press a kiss to the palm of your hand before intertwining that hand with his and holding it against his heart.

“You just had to go get tipsy, didn't you?” The warmth of his hand on yours as he squeezes it gently is like a drug, one that squeezes your heart at the same rhythm whilst his teasing voice dances in the air around the two of you.

“Not my fault you always have to have a glass with dinner..” You grumble, not happy with how fast he had proven you wrong even if he had just confessed to his deepest feelings. He finds it quite endearing how stubborn a little bit of alcohol can make you. ”Alright, we can blame me for this one. How about you finish this pudding with me, and we can get you settled in bed, how does that sound?”

Before you know it, he’s wiping chocolate stains from your lips again as you sniffle in his lap, mumbling some nonsense about your so-called lack of lovelife while the movie plays in the background. He enjoys all your little comments about the movie, even when you subconsciously glance back at him when the couple starring do something romantic. Taking you up to bed is easy enough considering you’re only just bordering tipsy at the moment and you hardly weigh anything compared to the things he usually deals with. Your head just lolls lazily as he helps you upstairs, your eyes slowly blinking up at him when he sits you on the edge of the bed. “What pajamas do you want, pretty girl? How about your favourite?” The water he helped you drink before had sobered you up a little so you’re starting to feel better already. However, your mind is still a little hazy so you just nod along, not minding if this is the first time he undresses you.

Making sure to be gentle with you, he strips you down to your underwear before helping you pull on your warm sweatshirt and plaid pants. His lips twitched upwards when your own fingers tried to beat him with dressing yourself, finding it adorable how you still insisted on doing everything yourself. He could just put you to bed, but after watching for countless nights how you slave away at your skincare routine and keeping your teeth brushed well— he’d feel awful if he broke that. Before you know it, you’re sitting on the sink as he gently holds your jaw, his other hand using the electric toothbrush to clean your teeth. You’re a little uncooperative, swerving your head away at first until you just settle into a sleepy calm and he handles you with no problems. In no time he has you back on his lap, sitting at your small vanity as he carefully attempts to remember the order of your night time routine. What even is this? He thinks as he picks up a suspicious looking serum, labelled as snail mucin and gives it an experimental sniff. He thought it’d smell worse to be fair.

“No, you have to put the toner first and then the serum.” You mumble at him, gently tugging at his hands with your fingers and before he knows it, you have a toner pad all up in his face, wiping over his nose and cheeks before you cover the rest of his face.

“Hey- i’m meant to be doing your skincare. I don't need this stuff.”

He almost feels a pang of hurt in his chest as you raise an eyebrow at him, as if accusing him of having bad skin. With a huff, he removes the toner pad from your hands and throws it in the bin before gently pulling at your cheeks. “I have great skin, thank you. Dont give me that look.”

You immediately frown and attempt to puff your cheeks, causing him to have mercy and let go before he grabs a new toner pad and repeats your actions to yourself.

When you come back to your senses, your head is smushed against a pillow whilst he changes by the closet behind you. Your thoughts don't feel as hazy as they used to be, and you’re even starting to contemplate everything that happened earlier. Did he really mean what he meant? Did he actually like you.. romantically? You physically cringe at your own thoughts and hide your face behind your hands, groaning just quiet enough that he doesn't quite hear it. Sleeping next to him had always felt odd to you, but you always slept at different times so it never really felt romantic in any sort of way. You liked to stay up late and he liked to get a decent rest before the next morning. It was only recently that you started glancing at his sleeping face beside you, admiring the peace in his expression when he lost himself to his dreams and no other worries. Otherwise, it just felt like a roommate, nothing more nothing less.

But now his trousers were falling to the floor behind you, and you were laying in bed not quite falling asleep nor attempting to stay up. Suddenly, he wanted to sleep with you, not only beside you. It suddenly felt all too real that you two were actually married, actually partners and actually slept beside each other each night. What next, were the notes you left in his lunch romantic too? In truth, you were slightly freaking out but that might’ve been the alcohol making things a hundred times worse than they should’ve been, especially since you had started crying unannounced earlier. That’ll play in the back of your mind forever but for now you’re focused on his soft footsteps as he approaches the bed, dressed in a much looser shirt and pants. He always slept like this but this time he looks down at you, one finger gently poking your cheek as he sits on the other end of the bed.

“I actually prefer to sleep with my shirt off. But we always fell asleep at different times so I never got to ask your permission.”

He hums quietly, the finger now gently rubbing along the soft curve of your cheek instead.

“You can.. I don't mind.” You say quietly, eyes trailing over his form as he settles himself against the headboard right beside you. Touching you.

“Are you sure your cheeks won't get too red?”

He teases, hand moving towards the top of your head to gently card his fingers through your locks. You push yourself up to a sitting position, letting out a soft yawn as you do so before you blink at him hazily again. This time, you press forward and place your hand on his abdomen, absentmindedly rubbing your finger there back and forth. “I want to see your injuries.”

Not even he can stop the way his face softens at that and he tucks you into his side again, his other hand pulling the shirt up and over his head to discard onto the carpet beneath the bed. This view is only for you: his paled skin, the fresh scars, the old scars, fading bruises and fresh bruises, stitches that fall out and others that are pulled tight but most of all, his body. All for your eyes only, only for you. Your hand runs gently over the outline of his newest bruise, a deep purple that covers the entire expanse of his hip. It’s blooming into something worse and you’re sure it’ll hurt more tomorrow, not that he’d ever complain about that anyway. “You always come home with injuries, and you just play them off. Don't they hurt? Don't you want me to care for you?”

You say quietly, voice even softer now that you’ve sobered up, and he just lets out a breath, his face turning to watch the way your brows furrow and your lips press together. To have someone fuss over him like this is something he never thought about much, but it didn't mean he hadn’t craved the idea before. Yours was genuine worry, and you always held that genuine care for him. But it felt different now, more natural, more intimate. Like he was the only one you would worry about like this— he loved that feeling.

“I don't ever want you to worry about a thing, even if I do like the way your eyebrows crease when you do.” He chuckles softly, leaning down to press his lips affectionately against your hair before sitting back up properly again. “I suppose if you really want to.. I couldn't deny I'd be flattered to have you care for me.” The curve of your lips is what makes him smile as well, finding it all too endearing how easily a grin can form on your face.

“You’re such a flirt..” You mutter, trying to play it off and wiggle out of his hold on you, only serving for him to raise an amusing brow at you. “I’m only making up for what I can’t do to a tipsy girl.”

“I’m not tipsy..” You argue, sitting up a little straighter which makes his arm gently rest on your lower back instead.

“Oh? Really now? Let me test you then, since I used to be a policeman.”

“Fine, give me what you’ve got.”

“Sing the alphabet backwards if you’re sober.”

You instantly splutter, shaking your head quickly.

“Hey! Not even a normal person can do that. I knew you didn't actually like me.” He has to stop himself from rolling his eyes up at your grumbling, squashing your cheeks to make you shush.

“Is it really a crime that I don't want you to forget our first kiss because of some stupid whiskey?”

“Your stupid whiskey.” He finally rolls his eyes at your retort, gently pushing you back into bed and pulling the covers up and over you. “Alright fine, my stupid whiskey. Now, be honest with me, are you sober?”

The little frown on your face has disappeared with the hope his question brings, and you nod quietly, wide eyes looking into his.

“Are you very sure?” You were definitely sober now, his voice immediately lowering to a rasp as his hands travel up to cup the soft curves of your cheeks as they begin to turn pink. Just like that, he’s the man you’ve fallen for all over again, soft strands of fair hair framing his chiselled face as if they’re perfectly placed to put you under his spell. His index tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, gently rubbing the skin of your cheek with his calloused thumbs. His skin is so rough and yet you can't help but feel he is so soft at this moment; his eyes are like gentle waves, looking at you so fondly that you finally remember to reply.

“I-i'm sure.”

He doesn't hesitate, leaning in closer until his nose just touches the tip of yours, eyes locked onto every small movement you can even think about doing. “Can I?” The nod you give is the green light he’s always dreamed of; this day is all he has ever thought about since you joined his life. You let your eyes flutter closed, feel the warmth of his breath that tickles your skin as he draws closer and closer until his lips meet yours so gently. You have to physically stop yourself from giggling, probably the alcohol still trying to make a fool of you, but you just can't believe he’s the one wrapping you in his touch. Likewise, you wrap your arms around his neck, and he lets out a small gasp when you suddenly gain the strength to meet him upright, almost as if you’re threatening to pin him instead. Of course, he couldn't just let that slide easily. So, as anyone would, he pushes you back down into the mound of pillows, causing you to squeal as he leaves his touch all over your face, fleeting kisses painting your skin a rosy red. “You better not forget this in the morning.” He scoffs playfully as your eyes squeeze shut, giggles that spill out your mouth while he gives the affection he’s craved to gift to someone for years.

His job is hard, his life has been hard, and even this marriage initially felt the same. It wasn't so much the fact that he had essentially tied himself down to someone he barely knew, it was the realisation that he would never find his one person. That's why he did this after all, it seemed like it’d benefit the both of you and the day where he’d actually have a woman by his side slipped away with each mission. You, you were different though. You may have been an agent before, but outside of work you were the sweetest thing. Always subconsciously fussing over him, delaying sleep to prepare his lunch no matter how much he insisted you didn't need to, taking a personal duty to look after his cat, and still not being afraid to ask him when he seemed low or uncomfortable. You were everything he never had, even the annoying nagging of trying to get him to not lay on the couch after he ate or the fact that's his third whiskey yet.

Corny lines, the occasional flirty remark, dragging you to watch a movie— he wanted to do all of that before so you’d become actually his, actually the one he could say he loves and loves him back. But things got in the way, life got in the way, and he was starting to see his opportunities dissolve with each tired return from the mission. Despite his grumpy attitudes some days, his exhausted look as he collapsed into bed at eight, you still managed to fuss over him all the same— never once did you treat him differently, if not for the fact you’d cook him a slightly nicer meal after missions.

He was still busy, yes of course, but somehow he had managed to win you over. Maybe it was his silly jokes, though he’d seen you stare at his hair many times before so maybe that caught your eye. In any case, he’s happy to give any part of him to you, if not all of him. So when he’s pressed the last kiss on your nose and pulls the covers high over you, he tucks you into his chest, a final kiss to your temple as he looks down at your angelic expression. The way your smile curves at literally nothing but his touch is enough to make him fold right there, but he doesn't right now, squeezing you against him.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you.”

He whispers out, and you can't ignore it, eyes snapping up to look at him just from those three words. He sees the wonder in your eyes, the way they question the truth and if this really is real. Then you nod slowly, tuck your head into his chest, nestled against the beat of his heart.

“I love you too.”