#◟modern ◦ ᶤᶰ ᵃˡˡ ᶜʰᵃᵒˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ᶤˢ ᶜᵃˡᶜᵘˡᵃᵗᶤᵒᶰ

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draven: they’re making their kids work seven days a week? my brother would maybe be like, “empty the dishwasher” on a... you know, a thursday and i’d be like, “this is bullshit”

taric: it is excessive, i guess i’d run away from my parents if they made me work seven days a week, especially if i was shoveling horse shit, moving dirt---

draven: i’d fake my own death

taric: oh man, ok you took it a step further

draven: i’d---i’d set the barn on fire and throw a cadaver in there and flee this country

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modern verse draven ghost-wrote this

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garen: draven we’re trying to sleep draven, singing through tears: I’M NEVER GONNA FUCK AGAIN, GUILTY BEES HAVE GOT NO RHYTHM! THOUGH IT’S EASY TO FUCK BEES, I KNOW YOU’RE NOT A BEEEEE. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO FUCK A BEE, AND FUCK THE CHANCE THAT I’VE BEEN GIVEN. SO I’M NEVER GONNA FUCK AGAIN, THE WAY I FUCK WITH BEEEEEEEES. taric: literally sobbing and keymashing darius: is somehow probably still asleep he’s used to this he’s prepared for the worst

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A big modern verse mood is Draven, being the show host he is, uploading a YouTube series called Cryptid Clique. It was once just little videos of Draven commenting on Darius’ everyday life as he filmed strange things, like a nature documentary, and then he does it to both Darius & Garen when they start dating. Sometimes Taric is a guest on the videos, and then Draven uses the especially Spicy(tm) ones on his show, a segment he calls Cryptid Corner.

Why is ‘cryptid’ in the title? Because no man can be as large as Darius, and no man can SEDUCE his brother so easily. To Draven, both of them are inhuman mysteries.

He has other YouTube segments for ghost hunting, makeup tutorials, fashion advice, drag queen drama, music he writes, gaming, and then a segment that’s dedicated to how pretty he is. It’s why he’s so fucking rich. The donations he gets during streams are insane, and he’s practically a celebrity just by how fucking EXTRA thicc he is.

He also lowkey sells his underwear online because he occasionally works as a sex worker on the side.

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modern au sea of thieves night more like

draven: did you really name your pirate ‘garen’? garen: was i not supposed to name him after myself? draven, fake pirate accent: 'COURSE NOT. ME NAME’S RAGNAROCK IRONCOCK, CAPT’N OF THE MOBY DICK, AN’ TH’ WHORE OF TH’ SEVEN SEAS! garen: why? taric, tearing up: you’re so fucking valid

darius: the water’s black taric, screaming: CAPTAIN. LOOK. draven, as the kraken surfaces: AYE IT’S ME MISTRESS HEY BITCH garen: why do you take this so seriously?

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primetime draven may be my academy/modern au draven BUT i’m laughing at the thought of him running ALL THE WAY DOWN from the casting booth because the cheerleaders are doing everything wrong.

draven doing a full split in skin-tight leather pants: YOU’RE A CLASSY HO, SO YOU GOTTA CHEER LIKE ONE. WHO TAUGHT YOU? A LIBRARIAN?! FIRE HIM OR HER IMMEDIATELY

fixes his tie and marches back up to the booth. he was on air the whole time. the mic was ATTACHED to him. goodbye.

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my big modern au mood is draven just falling asleep on garen, or doing small, nice things to make up for how rude and childish he acts sometimes. really he just wants darius to be happy, so he doesn’t actually care that garen’s the person darius is happy with. he’ll support them, and he’d fight all of darius’ and/or garen’s exes at once just to keep their relationship together and safe.

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draven, making a video while he’s at college: hi darius, it’s me, your favorite. firstly i would like to apologize for that time i was getting sedated in the hospital and told you that you looked like lord farquaad. that was a rough night. work is good, college is... college is college. i was actually just wondering what the hell you were thinking when you let me leave home. i have eaten cup noodles for the past 8 days, i’m out of noodles, and i’m out of mcdonald’s money, starving. i have 6 papers due all on the same day, which is tomorrow, haven’t started any of them because everytime i begin typing, i just burst into tears. i’m failing demacian, it took me 3 weeks to even realize i was in the class. i haven’t been there in 21 days because i didn’t know i was registered. i probably won’t be home for thanksgiving because i’m gonna starve before that gets here. this is my last will and testament, tell my dog i miss him.

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so i just found this gay dating app called GROWLr and i’m crying because it’s an app to find ‘gay bears’ and this is something draven would have on his phone ???

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“You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

Worried Starters — accepting

      The fork dances bitterly against porcelain, a screeching symphony of wordless lamentations that played emotional truths that were not written through traditional pen and paper. When one of his nature neglected that which cheered him up, it told tales of something deeper plaguing the mind of man. Garen’s worry was not unnecessary, as Draven understood the implications of care, but it does go unwanted. How does one explain their skepticism? He figured it was a forced reaction to keep the favor of a loved one in his relation: Darius.

      Initially, the question is regarded with silence before Draven rolls his eyes and groans in irritation. Unsure of the proper actions as to not allude to the truer issue, he lets go of the fork with an abrupt ‘clang’ against the plate’s edge.  “ NOTHING’S going on, Garen. ”  His words strike with a particular sharpness, akin to that of a blade’s edge, seeking to dismiss any further discussion or persistence. Though he knew that, perhaps, it wouldn’t be so easy. Garen wasn’t the kind of man to give up so easily, especially when concerned for another. Forcefully does he shove the plate away from himself and continues the only way he knows how.

      “ It’s just that these assholes think it’s okay to tell me that my suit isn’t practical enough for them. So what if the inside fabric has a pattern with my face on it? It’s my suit and my show — they don’t have to fucking like it, though they should because Draven’s the best fucking thing in existence. ”  The ramblings continued on longer than he wanted them to, though perhaps this was his means of ignoring the fact that he, once again, failed to keep a relationship for longer than a week. There was no need to get into the details and specifics — admitting that Garen was better than him in that regard left a sour taste on the tip of his tongue, dulling his taste buds to nothing more than a cotton-dry numbness — so he left it at that.

      A shift in his posture, balancing the chair’s hind legs enough for him to prop his feet up and onto the corner of the table, Draven focuses his gaze on anything but Garen for the time being.  “ Does it matter, anyway? You should be happy that I’m not feeling like myself. Congradu-fucking-lations, Garen, you win this one. ”

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draven unironically listens to running in the 90′s, tokyo drift, and deja vu in modern au because they’re hilarious to him and are in some of his favorite vines, but he also genuinely likes the instrumentals to the songs

he also listens to some k-pop, mostly BTS (mic drop, dope, not today, fire, etc)

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taric: now release all of those sounds that are trapped in your mind draven: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA taric: are... you okay? draven: yeah. garen and darius are dating but i’m fine