#✧˖°.« 𝙾𝚞𝚝 𝙾𝚏 𝙾𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎 » OOC

[aetherceuse]

Once a year I remember how absolutely insane the Rainbow Rocket plot was. Giovanni and the rainbow squad just roll up, break into Lusamine's house, REMODEL THE HOUSE, and then MC and Guzma come in like "yo get out of the prez's house wtf."

And then you have to fight your way through several fascists, who all went "I want this room in our brand new remodeled house" until you fight Giovanni.

Wtf was that.

Imagine waking up and Ghetsis is in your foyer asking eating a breakfast wrap.

[aetherceuse]

Hmmmmm I still don't envision myself picking up activity here yet, but, at least I don't feel like garbage popping in here and writing her. That's progress.

[aetherceuse]

So.

It's been a few weeks since I announced taking a step back from Lusamine's blog, and, I think I'm at a point where I can put my struggles into words.

Before I get into my issue, I'm politely asking that this post is read and digested. In the past, whenever I post about something that I am struggling with in terms of roleplay and community interaction, my post has been used as a springboard for the dash to turn into "vent hour." That isn't what I want. I'm genuinely asking for people to read this, to digest it, and respect the fact that I am having a major issue with writing this character, which has been preventing me from actually being active-- and it is rooted in how the muse, and her information, has been treated.

I'm not tagging this as drama, because it is not drama. This isn't pointed at any individuals, because frankly, it's an issue I have had with writing villains my entire life, and it's only been amplified on Lusamine's blog in particular.

For starters: Lusamine is a beloved muse of mine. She is one of my favorites to sit down, dissect, and write about. It's important for people to understand that all of my canon muses are retellings in a way, but with Lusamine, that's ESPECIALLY important to understand. This Lusamine is not canon, she is a retelling, with her own backstory and world-relevant lore that is very important for people to read, grasp, and understand before proceeding forward with interactions.

However, it doesn't seem as though people really-- respect that, or even bother to read the bio and headcanons that I've written on her. I can tell, because a lot of the interactions I get are people reacting to canon events that haven't happened in my retelling. Mother Beast, for example, hasn't happened, and I've stated that multiple times over and over, yet that seems to be falling on deaf ears.

I really need my writing partners to actually read my content, and understand what I'm doing. I don't write headcanon posts and bios just because I wanna take up space on Tumblr dot com. I write them because they're a crucial part of what I'm doing.

And honestly-- that's not even the biggest issue I've had.

It is EXHAUSTING to open my ask box on a daily basis, and deal with asks sent in just calling her: bitch, cunt, 'Lusa-mean', 'Lusa-bitch', whatever. I don't think you guys understand how mentally taxing, and depressing that is for me. I get it. I'm writing the villain. Lusamine hasn't done great things. But I feel as though people are forgetting that there is an actual, human person sitting behind the inbox, who is writing a character that he loves-- and instead of getting thoughtful engagement, it's a barrage of "bitch." I've had to block people for doing this (IF you are reading this post on the dashboard, that means you're not guilty of doing this.).

But, this extends to the dashboard too. I feel as though I cannot write or do anything without someone dash comming or being automatically aggressive the moment Lusamine even so much as opens her mouth.

It's really, really not fun to be minding my business, and receive asks, IM's, or dash comms of this nature-- especially when I'm trying to write a complex character. I pour my heart and soul into what I write. And it's really sad that I have all of this stuff that people could be reading, interacting with, and reacting too-- and instead people just focus on all of the potential trauma that Lusamine could subject them to. It's not fun. At all. It really makes me feel like shit. I don't want to be used as the target of someone's parental trauma. Just because I am writing a villain, does not mean I am consenting to be nothing but an angst punching bag. I want to write stories, not just receive one-liners and zingers and "AH HAH, GOTCHAS!" in my ask box.

Frankly, I do not have nearly this much of a problem on any of my other antagonist blogs. Even though I'm still subject of whump at many times, it's not nearly as bad anywhere else, as it is on Lusamine's blog. It's really discouraging, and it makes me feel like I'm writing something that people don't really have any care or interest for. I get that my writing can be a little strange and off putting. I know that I dig into uncomfortable topics. It's not for everybody, but, I've never been the type of person to try and appeal to the greater audience. I'm very niche.

We talk about communication in this community a lot. We talk about wanting to interact. We talk about feeling as though engagement is down. And while I sit here and write this, I'm reflecting on that ongoing issue. I really feel as though we can improve the health of peoples' experience in this RPC if we-- y'know-- actually sat down, read what our partners are writing-- and ask questions/engage with it.

I don't know when I'll return to Lusamine's blog. I'm not deleting it obviously, I've put a lot of hard work into her character. But, until I feel as though there's a genuine interest in reading what I have going on, and engaging with it fairly, I'm going to keep my focus on Proton-- because, honestly, I feel really insecure on this account. At least over on Proton, it seems as though people are reading my glitch lore, respecting my muse/worldbuilding, and interacting with it. And it means the world to me. I hope to have that here one day too.

[aetherceuse]

I'm going to be updating my rules at some point this week, I just have to figure out the best way to put my thoughts into words. But the TLDR is that I'm going to be taking a less active role in admin/mod positions for RPC servers going forward. I don't really want to be involved with conflict-resolution anymore.

[aetherceuse]

Logs in only to show you all this absolutely insane event I went to over the weekend.

[aetherceuse]

My unpopular Pokémon opinion is that they should had never given Team Rocket the Shadow Pokémon. Colosseum did it better. They took away the unique aspect of Cipher, and made it boring.

Granted I'm a huge Team Rocket fan, but, they didn't handle the Shadow Pokémon nearly as well.

[aetherceuse]

The fact that Lusamine is one of the trainers who challenge you for your champion seat in Sun and Moon implies the following:

- She's already been through the Island Challenge, and completed it.

- She then never did anything with it until Kukui went "hey guess what new league dropped."

- She saw that you, the MC, became the first champ, and then went "bet" and then scaled the mountain, stomped the elite four, and showed up like "oh wow what a coincidence."

[aetherceuse]

Yknow I don't discuss the fact that Lusamine is an extra-terrestrial nearly enough. I need to change that.

[aetherceuse]

Lusamine picking up Proton and making him follow The Adventure Line from The Stanley Parable, for science, of course.

[aetherceuse]

Saw Dune. Thinking about how I can translate some of those themes into Ultra Space and Ultra Human society. I think putting the Bene Gesserit into Ultra Space would be insane.

Imagine me picking up Star Wars in one hand and Dune in the other and going 'I can make this work.'

[aetherceuse]

Lusamine muse really will go dormant for weeks and then wake up when it's time to correct some men.

[aetherceuse]

Work/responsibilities are already finished for the day, so I'm going to sit here and work on Lusamine's bio while everybody else is busy.

[aetherceuse]

Unfortunately the only thing stronger than Lusamine's friendship with Giovanni and Rocket as a whole, is her refusal to work on Saturday. She believes in you guys. You guys can handle this issue LOL.

[aetherceuse]

give me back my girl money :(

I'm keeping your girl money.

[aetherceuse]

It's fascinating to me that it's the protagonist/deuteragonist characters that are relating to Lusamine, and not the antagonists.

[aetherceuse]

Inbox Call. ✨️