#𝑽𝒂𝒍’𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒗 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝜗𝜚
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withering-daylight · 15 days ago
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This fic (YES IM REBLOGGING IT AGAIN SUE ME) made me enter the five stages of grief and took me on such an emotional rollercoaster that I need emotional compensation because it was so well written I SOBBED when Lando wanted to cry.
Im still going to reread it.
To all my moots, please read this I need to yap to someone about this fic cuz it really made me cry a lot.
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you love me (but you don't know it yet) (lando/oscar, 34,5k, t rated)
When they get to the McLaren motorhome, his PR rep is already waiting for him in the doorway, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. “We would’ve preferred if you’d told us about your boyfriend beforehand, Lando,” she says, as they make their way inside, glancing at Oscar following behind them. “We could’ve had some contingency plans in place.” “Well, I would have told you,” Lando says, “I just didn’t know he existed until like 20 minutes ago.”
READ HERE
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withering-daylight · 1 month ago
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I LIVE for sub!Lando 😍
If anyone has more sub!Lando fics (or just the driver’s being subs in general) tag me in them <3
Can you write a sub but like really sub lando Norris please 🙏🏻
Be my good boy - LN4 🔥
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Masterlist
summary: he'd do anything for you. anything you say. lando loves being good for you, loves when you take control, loves when you tell him exactly what to do. tonight, he needs you more than ever. and you're going to ruin him for anyone else.
warnings: heavy sub!lando, dom!reader, begging, orgasm control, edging, overstimulation, pegging (implied), cockwarming, nipple play, face sitting, praise, soft dom energy, desperate!lando, full submission, use of pet names ("good boy", "baby", "sweet thing"), smut, degradation mixed with love
He's already naked by the time you walk in. Kneeling on the bed. Back straight. Hands folded in his lap. Eyes wide and waiting.
God, he's pretty like this. Blush across his cheeks. Chest flushed. Thighs trembling slightly from the effort of staying still.
"Look at you," you murmur, setting your bag down. "Already on your knees."
He nods quickly. "You said to wait for you."
You hum. "Did I say you could touch yourself while you waited?"
His eyes widen. "No, no. I didn't. I promise."
You cross the room slowly. Watching how his cock twitches at your voice. "And what if I check?"
He swallows. "You can. I didn't. I've been good."
You stop in front of him. Reach down. Stroke one finger across his inner thigh.
He shivers. "Prove it," you whisper.
He parts his knees without question. Lets you see everything. Hard. Leaking. Untouched.
"Good boy," you say.
His breath catches. "Say it again."
You smile. "Oh, sweet thing. You've been such a good boy for me." You push him back onto the pillows.
He lets out a soft moan as his back hits the mattress, already panting. You straddle him. Not letting him in. Just resting there, your pussy pressed to the base of his cock.
He cries out at the contact. "Please."
You lean down. Bite gently at his throat. "Please what?"
"Anything. You. I need- I need-" His hips buck, but you hold him down easily. "I just need you."
You rock against him slowly. He sobs. "Can I come?" he begs. "Can I please, please come?"
You grind harder. Slide your wetness up and down his length, never letting him inside. "No," you whisper.
He whines. "Please," he moans. "I'll do anything."
You slide down his chest, watching his muscles twitch under your mouth as you kiss your way lower. When you take him in your mouth, he screams. You don't let up. Lips, tongue, throat, hands, everything you know he loves.
He writhes. "Don't- don't stop, I'm gonna-"
You pull off just in time. He sobs again. "Why?"
"Because you don't come until I say."
He nods frantically. "Yes, yes, okay, yes-"
You crawl back up his body. "Beg for it."
His eyes are glassy. Voice wrecked. "Please come on my face," he whispers. "Please ride me. Please ruin me. I need it so bad. I need you. I'm your good boy. I'll do anything, just- please."
You sit on his face like a throne. His tongue is already out before you've even lowered yourself fully. He moans when you grind down. Sucks like he needs it to breathe. Arms wrapped around your thighs, holding you in place like you're oxygen.
"That's it," you whisper. "Just like that."
He shakes under you. So hard you have to grip the headboard to stay upright. You ride his face like you were made for it. He lets you. Loves it. When you finally come, you do it on his tongue.
He moans like he's coming too. "Please," he begs, voice muffled in the sheets. "Please fuck me now."
You flip him easily. Face down. Ass up. And grab the strap on.  Slow. Deep. Controlled. Every movement pushes a sob out of him. Every stroke makes his cock leak onto the bed. "Touch yourself," you command. "You've earned it."
He whimpers, hand sliding between his thighs. Jerking himself desperately while you keep going. He's shaking. He's soaked in sweat. He's completely gone for you.
"Say it," you whisper.
"I'm yours," he sobs. "Always. Forever. Only yours."
When he finally comes, it's with a scream. He jerks so hard he nearly pulls away. You hold him steady. Keep going. Until he's crying.
"Too much, I can't-"
"Yes, you can." You fuck him through it. And then again. And again. Until he's limp and wrecked beneath you. Until his voice is gone. Until his body is yours.
Later, when you're curled up together in the sheets, he nuzzles into your neck. "I love you," he whispers.
You smile. "I love you too."
He blushes. "And I love being your good boy."
You kiss his forehead. "You're my favorite thing in the world."
He falls asleep like that. Safe. Fucked out. Yours.
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withering-daylight · 25 days ago
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This is so adorbs!! The couple banter and George’s PowerPoints are just TOO cute
powerpoint
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summary; when reader and George clash over decisions for their wedding, George decides to make a powerpoint to lighten things up between them
pairing; fiancé!george russell x fiancée!reader
˚❀˚·⋆✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿⋆·˚❀˚˚·⋆✿˚
"Ladies, come in."
George smiles deviously as he hustles Y/n and her friends into their living room. He leads them to the two sofas and motions towards the bowl of popcorn and sparkly juice on the coffee table. 
"George, this better be good. You locked me out of the apartment and the girls and I have to plan the bachelorette party." 
"I thought that was a thing that your bridesmaids were supposed to plan for you." George said as he raised an eyebrow. 
"Well, our plane has been delayed and now it's all going to hell." Y/n fumed. 
Marilyn and Ophelia both mouth something along the lines of 'just don't talk about it' as they reach for popcorn. Eleanor sighed and waved George off. Denise offered a quiet shrug and a look of panic. 
"Just listen to my powerpoint, okay." George grinned. 
"Oh Lord, George I don't have time for this." Y/n hissed. 
"Ten minutes, darling. Just ten minutes," George promised. 
Y/n sighed, crossing her arms and leaning back against the cushions. 
"So, this is my powerpoint about things that we're having problems with deciding on for our wedding and the solutions that I have." George said, changing the screen to the next page. 
"First of all, flowers. I know we're disagreeing on roses and gardenias. So, why don't you have roses in your bouquet and gardenias on the tables during the reception. That way we can have both flowers." George smiles. 
"That sounds good," Ophelia nodded. 
"Yeah, I mean you can always also have roses during the reception. Maybe on the sweetheart table or something." Eleanor chimed in. 
"Fine, that sounds good." Y/n whispered.
"What did you say?" George taunted slightly.
"I said that's good," Y/n grunted. 
George smiled again, mentally keeping score of if his solutions had worked. 
George continued with his presentation, making points that Y/n couldn't argue with and some decisions that were overruled by the bridesmaids and Y/n. By the end of the ten minutes before he made his last point, the bowl of popcorn was half gone and Denise had opened another bottle of juice. Y/n felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off her chest after most of the decisions had been made. However, there was still one aspect of their wedding that they hadn't made a decision on. 
"No, we're not having this conversation again."
"Yeah, which is why we should just go with the two tiered vanilla and buttercream with the decorative flowers." 
"I mean we haven't even been to a cake testing yet. I'm busy at the firm and you're always thousands of miles away. For Christ's sake George, we're getting married in less than seven months. We're supposed to already have these things figured out." 
George scoffed in return and the couple continued to bicker while Y/n's friends watched in annoyance. 
"Oh not again," Eleanor sobs into her hands.
"This is the most I've ever seen neither of them mad." Marilyn says while pouring herself another drink.
"Seriously, this whole wedding planning thing has turned them into monsters." Ophelia groans.
"They love each other, what's the big deal if the cake isn't the perfect flavor or if the reception goes overtime." Denise shrugs. 
"I'm not listening to any more of this bullshit." Marilyn says. "Hey lovebirds," 
George and Y/n pause mid insult as they look at Marilyn who has a very irritated look on her face. 
"You two are in love. And there's no denying that, I mean, we've all been around doing Christmas to know what goes on when you two 'go get the good wine'. Which by the way, gross. Anyways, you guys have worked so hard for this relationship and it is really worth it to fight over flowers and cake. This is the person you're going to see through sickness and in health. If you're arguing over stupid stuff like this, are they worth the trouble when worse scenarios come. And I know you two enough to know that you wouldn't break up over something like cake so just relax."
The two share a look. Marilyn was right. They had seen each other through their best and their worst. So why were they fighting over something like cake? 
"She's right,"
"Yeah,"
"I know there's a cake testing booking on Thursday and I'll still be home and I know you just wrapped up that big account." 
"Seriously?" Y/n's eyes lit up at George's words. 
"Sure, I mean it doesn't hurt to try other flavors of cake right?" 
Y/n nodded, her arms pulling her fiancé in for a hug. George hugged her back, his arms hooked around her waist as he kissed the top of her head. 
"I love you," 
"I love you more,"
"Okay, I think you guys have to leave now." Y/n smirked. 
The four sitting on the couch all offered a look of disgust but relief. Marilyn was the first to sprint and Ophelia, Eleanor, and Denise followed after grabbing their purses. 
"Oh disgusting!"
"I'm bringing my own wine next year!"
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withering-daylight · 18 days ago
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This hits hard I fear 💔
I’m used to being interrupted or talked over (when I was younger to my teenage years) so reading this just felt nice (idk how else to describe it)
I will DEFINITELY be rereading this!!!💙
hii could you do a fic with kimi antonelli where the reader always gets ignored like she would be talking or asking something but people don't listen or they talk over her like they don't hear her and maybe it happens with her family too and they make her think it's her fault cause she once ignored her sibling cause she was asked an obvious question and maybe only kimi notices and tries to make her feel heard, more angst with fluff ending please
Say Something (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/Formula 1
Requested: Clearly (AHHHH I LOVE) (Also, coming to you LIVE from Hungaroring! I'll post pics and random things over on @thing268 throughout the weekend)
Warnings: Mentions of being unheard, slight slander of George Russell and Isack Hadjar
POV: Second Person (You/your/They/them)
W.C. 1165
Summary: Kimi was determined to make you feel heard.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Pinterest)
You walked into the paddock with your head held down and your hands tightly wrapped around the camera in your hands. Your job was simple: come in, take a few pictures, then hide out in the media center until it was acceptable to leave. That was your routine, and you stuck to it.
You don’t even remember how you got the job. You just applied, had one brief interview, and suddenly you were at a track with the VCarb Formula 1 team. You simply blended into the sea of white and blue shirts, and no one looked at you twice. It was always like this. 
For as long as you could remember, no one listened to you. You’d since stopped talking to anyone unless spoken to, and to be honest, you couldn’t remember the last time you had a full conversation with someone. The last time someone said anything to you was telling you a direction to go take pictures. That’s it. You just accepted it at this point.
You came in to work, did your job, and that’s it. No one has complained about your work yet.
Kimi noticed you, though. Kimi saw how you would sit by yourself under a tree, generally, eating your lunch. Kimi saw how the other members of your team never engaged in conversation with you unless it was to tell you what to do. Kimi saw how separated you were from the team, and he wanted to know why.
“Can you tell me anything about them?” Kimi asked Isack while discreetly pointing at you when the two of them walked passed the VCarb hospitality, and you were, once again, sitting under a tree and looking over the raw pictures you took thus far in the day. “They are always there.”
“I don’t even know who that is,” Isack admitted, shrugging. “Probably someone who has tickets and they like to take pictures, but I don’t think they’re actually part of my team.”
It was a lie, and Kimi knew it. He had seen you around for multiple races. After you brushed passed him after a Q2 exit for the Mercedes driver, he noticed you everywhere. Between sessions, at the team’s hotels, just around the track, Kimi always seemed to find you, and to hear your own team not think you exist was crazy to him. 
That’s when Kimi decided he would try to include you whenever he saw you, and it started with learning your name.
It started small with Kimi just observing where you hung out, just a little closer than he normally did. Without a doubt, you always found a shaded area away from the main hospitality, sat on the ground, and carefully put your camera away. Then, you would pull out some headphones, play a song or video, and grab a sandwich and a water bottle from your backpack before starting to eat.
It was clockwork, Kimi learned. No matter where you were, you always had the same routine. The only thing he couldn’t figure out was when you got there or when you left. You were always under the radar, but Kimi was determined to figure you out.
The day finally came when Kimi decided enough was enough.
He watched from afar as you walked around between the sessions. It was nearing midday, and Kimi knew you would be looking for your spot. He watched as you walked in between the buildings, and he peeked around the side of the wall. You got about halfway between the buildings before you stopped and plopped down on the ground. 
Kimi slowly walked down towards you as you started putting your camera away, like you always did. Kimi approached you, but you paid him no mind, simply putting your headphones on and playing your music until you noticed him nearly beside you. You scooted back a bit to give yourself some distance before you continued grabbing your sandwich and opting to ignore him.
“Hey,” Kimi said suddenly. You side-eyed him as you took a bite from your sandwich. You nodded toward him, but didn’t say anything. “I’m Kimi, I drive for Mercedes, obviously,” Kimi explained before realizing he was wearing a Mercedes shirt. You just looked at him skeptically, but still didn’t say anything. Kimi took a deep breath. “What’s your name?”
You simply pointed at your VCarb garage pass, which had your name adorned on the back as you took another bite.
“Wow, I like your name,” Kimi replied awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Eh…What kind of sandwich is that? It looks pretty good.”
You just pulled the sandwich apart to show him what was on it. Not much, just the basics to make it considered a sandwich. 
“What are you listening to?” Kimi asked after a couple of seconds of silence. You looked at him wearily again before turning your phone to show him the song currently playing. “Oh, that’s cool. I like them too.” He had never heard of it, but he needed something to make you feel connected. You gave him a tight-lipped smile and a curt nod, going back to focusing on your sandwich.
“Can you say something? Like anything?” Kimi pressed after a few seconds of silence. You glanced over at him with wide eyes as you gestured around randomly. That’s when something else clicked for Kimi, and he started spiraling, “Unless you can’t talk! Then, I look like an asshole. I’m sorry! I didn’t even think of that.”
“Why would I?” You muttered so quietly, Kimi almost missed it. Kimi completely froze, turning his body to show he was giving you his full attention. “It’s not like you’d listen. No one does.”
“I want to,” Kimi whispered back, leaning a little closer to you to show his sincerity. “I’m going to sound pretty bad for a second, but I noticed you. I noticed how no one came up to you, and I don’t know. I just wanted to get to know you. I’m sorry if that’s weird. I can leave if you’d rather be alone.”
“No one has listened to me in…” You paused, really thinking about it before concluding you didn’t know the last time you felt like your voice mattered, “I don’t know how long.”
“Well, I’d like to listen to you,” Kimi said, moving to sit beside you with his back against the wall and bumping his shoulder against yours. “Say anything, and I promise I’ll listen.”
“Anything?” You asked skeptically, leaning into him slightly as you looked at him with a newfound curiosity. 
“Here, I’ll start,” Kimi offered, “I don’t think George is really 185 cm.”
“I hate the smell of Isack’s cologne,” You admitted sheepishly. Kimi looked at you with wide eyes and a small smile at you opening up. “It makes me sneeze.”
“I thought I was the only one!” He laughed as you joined him. It was a small step, but Kimi was determined to make you feel heard.
~~~~~
© BAD268 2025. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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withering-daylight · 5 days ago
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Sobbing at how beautiful this was 💔
I love this concept of a silent protector, it’s comforting and I really love this tiny fic🧡
The Quiet of the Night
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navigation , dc navigation
requests are open
dividers by @cafekitsune
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The room is cold and dark besides the light from the street lamp that filters through the blinds of the window. The bed is too soft, the duvet too heavy, the silence too loud. The digital clock read 4:08 in bold red letters. The water that fell from the tap echoed in the too-empty apartment, one torturous drop after the other, slowly and steadily driving you insane. Did he notice your spiral? Did he care?
Tip. Tip. Tip.
Where was he?
You knew. Of course, you knew. He was Nightwing. The hero of Blüdhaven. Your charming lovely boyfriend was a vigilante. You had found the black and white domino mask, behind the laundry basket. First came the shock, then the denial. You might have stayed in that state for a few months, trying to trick yourself into believing that your boyfriend was constantly making excuses because ….because… because. You desperately tried to find excuses.
But then came the realization of the clumsiness, of the overly naive act, honestly who was he kidding? You haven't uttered a single word about the revelation. You simply waited and saw how your relationship turned toxic. The constant cancelation of dates, the nights that you always spend alone.
He slipped into the house quietly, wincing under his breath. Muttering curses as the smell of blood and gunpowder stuck to him like a second presence. He always tried to keep quiet, to never wake you up. One time you saw him in his suit, he still thinks that you don't remember, your mind too hazy from sleep… he hoped.
He didn't want to lose you.
Why did you still stay in a relationship with him? Did you really think that you deserved this? This half kind of a relationship? And not being loved to the fullest, screaming to the world that someone adored you the way he desperately wanted to do. And instead fearing the results of such actions.
It took him exactly three weeks to notice the knife in the last cabinet, next to your stock of tubes of toothpaste and new cleaning rugs.
He said nothing at first. He wanted to believe it was a cruel joke. He needed the confirmation that … you were cutting.
It was a slow morning, he didn't have a shift at the police station and you were supposed to have a late morning to work. It had been too long since you had last spent time in the bed cuddling. He was stuck to your back, hugging you with all his strength, his fingers skimming and trailing your skin in feather light touches, before finding the ragged scars in your thighs. Quiet tears slid down his cheeks as he prayed to every deity to help you. You were awake, your breathing too controlled to still be in the bliss of sleep.
Still you pretended to wake up.
Got ready for work. And returned to an empty house… no Dick in sight. It was like he never existed. Like he was never a part of your life. The only remains of him were your favorite shirt of his, none of your knives in sight, a pamphlet of self harming with a sticky note that had the contacts of the best psychologist, sticky notes around the house with encouraging notes and a simple letter that said “I could never be the man you deserve, no matter how much I want to be. Please get better, my love. I don't think the world could continue spinning without me. I am leaving because a selfish part of me thinks that I am responsible for your state and I would do more damage than good. I am sorry for everything. Goodbye my lovely girl, you were the best thing that could ever happened to man like me.”
But life doesn’t pause when your heart is in pieces. You still had to go to work. You still had to smile at your coworkers. You still had to pick up groceries and answer phone calls and pretend that your insides hadn’t been hollowed out by a goodbye that sounded more like an apology wrapped in a tragedy.
You stared at the sticky notes for days. Each time you passed by one, you felt a new fissure form inside your chest. "You are stronger than you think." "You are worth more than the pain." "Please live, even when it hurts." It was him, it was always him, trying to save you the only way he could: by leaving.
Some nights you thought you heard footsteps on the roof. A shadow flitting past the edge of your vision. You’d look out the window and see nothing but the empty street below, and yet your chest would ache with that strange kind of comfort. You weren’t alone. Not entirely.
You started therapy. Not for him, but because something inside of you wanted to fight. Some tiny sliver of self that refused to give in to the weight pressing down on your soul. The sessions were hard. There were tears. There were days you couldn’t even get out of bed. But slowly, you began to breathe again. Not just survive—live.
You didn’t hear from him. Not directly. But you knew he was watching. You came home one evening to find your door slightly ajar, but nothing inside was touched—except for the sticky note now on your mirror: "You looked happy today. I'm proud of you."
It broke you all over again.
The love hadn’t disappeared. It had just changed. It had taken the form of silent protection, of a watchful guardian in the night, of someone who gave up his own happiness to give you a chance at healing. And maybe that was enough. Maybe one day, you’d meet again. On a rooftop. In another life. When you were whole.
But for now, you turned off the bathroom light, brushed your fingers across the old letter, and whispered into the silence:
"I miss you. But I’m getting better. And maybe that’s what you wanted most."
The clock read 4:09.
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withering-daylight · 1 month ago
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OMG PLEASE THIS IS SO GOOD🙏🙏🙏
(Plz tag me in future fics because omg I feel like I’ve witnessed the most beautiful writing in the world)
scandalous
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Kimi Antonelli x fem!reader
Summary: Moving into Italy with your husband after you reached your thirties sounded like a great idea, a fresh start for your career as a high school teacher. Lecturing the young Kimi Antonelli in your spare time wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t see you as more than his tutor and if you weren’t touch depraved from your neglecting husband…
Warnings: 18+, age gap, unprotected sex, brief creampie, fingering, blowjob, size description, sex at school and at the F1 garage, gagging, slight choking, infidelity, dirty talk, teacher x student, inappropriate behaviour, angst, heartbreak, humiliation, plot twist that I don’t want to spoil here
Word count: 6.4k
A/N: Speechless. This might be my longest fic here and I simply don’t understand how I got that far. I think I need some cleansing because wow. I hope you’ll enjoy it. Comments are appreciated! :)
“It was just a fling, nothing serious.” You tried to brush it off, to not admit the situation was bad as the therapist sat in front of you with a stoic but not judgemental expression.
“Mrs., do you understand why we’re here?” He asked you for maybe now the tenth time. You shrank in your seat, averting gaze to the side, blushing with embarrassment and humiliation. 
“I know…” 
“Then say it out loud. You know, for better acknowledgment of the fact.” 
Looking up at him, you needed to face the hard consequences of your actions. 
“I had sex with my student when I shouldn’t have.” 
-
Kimi was brilliant at his studies, always active in class, his shiny smile lighting up the room. Kind and gentle, his eyes always darted around the room to gather everything that was happening. But with his formula one career he was forced to study on the go, missing most of the classes and taking exams at extra hours out of the timetable. 
You were new amongst the teachers at school, five years after you got your degree in physics and chemistry, you moved into the Italian city, to get a fresh start with your husband after celebrating your thirtieth birthday. 
Spending so much time in the school library, because of your husband working from home and you simply didn’t want to disturb him, you met Kimi one day. 
You gave him a polite smile while walking to the desk with your books. He smiled innocently, giving you a soft nod. After another few steps he stopped and looked back to where you sat. Coming closer again he cleared his throat gently. “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but you’re teaching math in my class, aren’t you?” 
Lifting your gaze to look at his young but manly features, you smiled. “Yeah, that’s me. And you’re the star of Formula one.” 
Kimi blushed, chuckling nervously. “That’s right. Well, I- uh- I missed most of my math classes this year, I need to pass it to successfully finish high school. And-“
“Are you trying to bribe me with paddock passes so I’ll give you brilliant grades?” You chuckled, teasing him a little.
His eyes widened, shaking his head. “No! No. I would never. I wanted to ask you to tutor me in your spare time- if you have that time of course.”
You looked over the desk at the books. Sure you had time. Plenty of it. And tutoring one student at the time won’t do harm. Yet.
Coming home late at night, your husband was chilling in the living room, watching something on tv. You put your bag to the side at the wall in the hallway, walking into the room, his gaze lifted at you, taking you in. “Where have you been that you’re late?”
“I thought you’d enjoy your time at home, knowing that you’re always disturbed by me swaying around here, so I took some tutoring after my classes.” Even though he was cold to you, you tried to be gentle and soft every time you spoke to him or shared the space with him. 
“Hm… but you’re always back to dinner, and I didn’t eat because of you being somewhere out there.” he grunted like an annoyed baby. 
“Well, I can make something now, if you're up to it?” you smiled a little, trying to make it up to him.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m not even that hungry.” he shrugged and got up, walking to the bedroom. 
You sighed, taking a step to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of wine. That was your routine every evening. This was meant to be a fresh start for both of you. It was promising with his new job here in Italy, but he was still locked in your apartment, not even talking to you, and the thought of spending some time with him outside and exploring the sights… Impossible. 
Everything was your fault, he was acting like a child and you were like a mother to him. Get me this, get me that. Not to mention the “duties” of marriage like having regular sex. 
Non existent.
Your sexual life consisted of you touching yourself in the shower, muffling your moans against the cold tiles while your body ached and trembled for the touch of a man. 
One sip, two sips, you decided that tonight is the night you’re gonna try it again. Seduce your husband. It shouldn't be this hard at your age, some day you had a feeling he's seeing someone else, but who would that be that you were new around. Maybe some kind of internet escort? Who knows. But still. You wanted to try your shot. Even though it was meant to be your last. 
Cleaning yourself up, you entered the bedroom, your skin glistening with some shimmering oil you found in the bathroom, you stood naked in front of the bed, then you slowly crawled on top of your husband who was busy scrolling on his phone. 
“Do you really have to look into your phone when your wife is naked with you in the bed?” you purred softly with a playful voice. He just tore his gaze from the screen to look you up and down and he hummed in disapproval. “I’m tired.” 
“But I thought we’d have some good time, to relieve some stress and tension.” giggling you slid your hand down his clothed body, nearing his crotch. That’s when he stopped you by grabbing your wrist. “I am really not in the mood right now. So stop it.” 
You sighed in defeat, feeling ashamed of your own needs, suppressing it deep into your chest and you got up from the bed, to put something on. After many attempts of being intimate you grew tired from seeing yourself naked, his behaviour towards you planting hateful thoughts about how you’re not good enough into your mind. 
Ending up on your side of the bed, you somehow managed to fall asleep meanwhile your husband was already in his deep slumber, snoring like a bear. 
The classroom was quiet, only scribbling on the paper was heard as the students wrote down their answers for the test. It was midterm, everybody nervous about getting it right, Kimi being one of them. Your eyes scanned the room for potential fraud but there was none. Wandering you ended up looking at Kimi. He looked like your high school boyfriend. Which was bad to think about it that way. Through the month you helped him with his studies, meeting him after school in the library, where you shared a laugh over the books. Gentle brushes of your fingers when you both met to flip the pages, his curious looks over your figure like a teenage man starving for the grown woman. And you on the other hand the one who was unsated, hungry and full of fire to give it to someone… A growing disaster. 
Your husband was away for the weekend so you stayed longer in the class to read through the tests and get them the grades. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. 
“Come in?” you said, confused who that might be. 
Kimi walked in with a sheepish smile, holding a bouquet of flowers. It surprised you. “Kimi… what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be celebrating with your mates that the school is over for a while?” 
Kimi rubbed his neck, visibly nervous. “Heh… I just thought that I’d go to say thank you. And give you this.” 
You took the flowers from him with a smile. “You’re sweet, Kimi. You didn’t have to.”
“Yes, I did. Because without you I’d be lost.” he spoke with a shaky breath. 
“Are you okay?” you frowned in worry about his flushed state. 
“I– uh– I’m sorry, but I–” he stuttered and in a swift movement he grabbed your chin and kissed your lips softly. It was fast, a brief moment of connection, his hot lips brushing over yours and he jumped away from you with wide eyes.
“Oh god, what have I just–” he frowned, clearly drowning in his own despair. 
You weren’t in your right mind when you grabbed his wrist gently, pulling him towards you while you got up from your chair. “Kiss me again.”
He caught your whisper and with sharp breath he claimed your lips again, but now in a hungry and sloppy kiss. Nearly melting, your hands went to his locks, soft hair of his, savoring that moment of lust. Your mind screamed in rationality but you shut it off, deepening the kiss, tasting his warmth. Kimi couldn’t get enough, he wanted more and more, so he pushed you against the small counter.
But you tried to stop him, to test the waters if he really wants it, if you're not the one pushing him into it. “Kimi… this- this is inappropriate.” you whispered against his lips. But Kimi kissed you again, not giving you space to talk more. His hands roamed over your figure leaving a wildfire on your skin. 
After a while he pulled from you, to look into your eyes, taking in your hazed eyes and at your swollen lips. “You’re so beautiful.” 
You felt the strings of your heart tugging in warmth you haven’t felt for a while, smiling widely with a little shy look. “Thanks…” 
“I bet you look even better on your knees.” the innocence in his eyes was gone, replaced by pure desire and lust, leaving you breathless. Without any further hesitation, you got on your knees on the hard floor, you looked up at him. “Like this, Kimi?” 
Taking in a sharp breath, his jaw clenched, his hands running through your hair. “Undo my pants.” 
And you obeyed. It was like you were under some kind of influence, you did what he said. Your delicate hands unzipped his pants, your mouth already watering when you saw his bulge forming until you freed his aching erection out of his boxers. 
Oh my dear god.
You never saw something like that. His cock was huge. It was nearly unholy for this young man to be this blessed. He chuckled at your reaction, swaying his hips a little so his dick slapped you at your cheeks. Your eyes still wide, your mouth agape from shock, he took advantage of it, brushing his tip over your lips, and when you didn’t protest, he pushed it further into your warm mouth. Letting out a gasp he thought he’d come on the spot, how soft your tongue was, how you took him slowly inch by inch. You never were a woman to suck a dick of your man and maybe that was your problem. It never crossed your mind that it could be this enjoyable. This tasty. 
You placed your hands on his hips, starting to bob your head in some kind of pace you thought he would like. 
“Such a good girl you are, teacher.” Kimi gasped holding your head through your hair close as you had his cock down your throat. Tears pricked into your wide eyes, his size still alarming your senses.
“Looking so perfect, gagging on my cock. You thought I’m just a shy innocent boy, hm? You know nothing.” he smirked at your attempts of breathing through the brutal pace he was pushing past your lips. 
When he was done abusing your throat, he let you catch a breath, a trail of saliva dripping down your chin, seeping into your dress. You didn’t have much time to recover, he lifted you from the floor, placing you on the desk, the papers scattered all over. His hand quickly went under the skirt of your dress, finding a hem of your panties and yanking it down your legs, holding it in his hand and finally breathing in the scent of you through his nose. His eyelashes fluttered with arousal, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. This young man was feral, he was like an animal. All because of you. 
“Smelling so sweet, teacher.” he growled, parting your legs, his eyes drowning at the sight of your bare pussy. Licking his lips he lifted his gaze at your face. “This beautiful cunt hiding underneath that desk all the time I was near. I dreamed about this for so long.” 
You thought he might want to taste you, but he looked so eager that he carefully and gently ran the tip of his cock through your wet folds, leaving you a moaning mess. “Fuck, you’re so wet, I saw this only in porn… This– this is unreal.” 
You only chuckled, this was funny. But he erased that smile when he entered you, his girth stretching you godly, you could only lean back on your palms to hold yourself upright, body already trembling. 
Kimi bit into his lip, holding back a deep moan, his large hands nearly bruising your thighs as he held you, sinking into you. When his tip kissed your cervix sweetly, his forehead leaned against yours, his breath mingling with yours, both of you sharing looks, the moment feeling so much, that the world stopped spinning. 
“You okay?” he asked softly and you nodded. That was enough for him to start to move his hips, burying his cock even deeper with each thrust. 
The desk was moving slowly underneath you, he took you roughly, relentlessly, your choked moans filling the classroom. Skin slapping against each other was so filthy, yet it made you aroused so much. Long forgotten was your husband or the morality of this act. 
It was a sin, but who cares. 
Kimi was panting, his balls tightening when he felt your walls clenching around him. “I wont– last long.” You nodded, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him impossibly close. Kissing him hungrily again, you whispered against his lips. “Just come, sweets. I feel it too. We can get it toge–” 
You couldn’t even say it, when he was already filling you, your pussy cumming against your will, milking his cock like crazy to the last drop. 
A moment of silence washed both of you with reality. “Fuck… that was–” he was first to speak.
“Yeah. It was something.” you whispered, when he slipped out of you, watching his cum dripping out of your stretched hole, feeling proud. You leaned over for the tissues, cleaning yourself, handing some of them to him too. 
Putting on your panties, you looked at him, not sure what to say. “It was nice, Kimi. Like, I can’t even describe it, but– we can’t do this again. It’s really inappropriate and– dangerous. For both of us. I don’t want you to get hurt.” 
Kimi nodded understanding, his mind now more clear. “I understand.” Suddenly he came to the realization. “Holy shit, I came inside you.” 
“Don’t worry, I’m on a pill. There’s no chance. I’m not crazy to let you do that without being sure that we’re protected.” you gave him a reassuring smile. 
Letting out a relieved sigh, he gave you a soft smile and then he left you in the classroom. You tried to think about the tests you were doing earlier, but you couldn’t. What you just experienced… It scared you that you were craving more. 
Kimi invited his whole class for a day in the paddock, meeting them with his team, showing them around the garage. Involving you too, changing the classroom to the thick air of the F1 garage was wonderful. You enjoyed how the classmates were full of joy, touching everything, gasping at the cars on the track, even laughing at some dry jokes of the team principal of Mercedes Toto Wolff. 
You were lost in your thoughts when you were suddenly standing in the back of the garage, around you the stacks of the tires ready to be put on the car. The smell of rubber made you a little bit disgusted, you tried to find a way out. Suddenly a strong pair of hands pulled you to the secluded corner in between the stacks. Kimi grinned at you, pinning you to the wall. “Are you lost, teacher?” 
Your cheeks were flushed, this young man made you flustered in a minute. All you tried to avoid for the past two weeks. 
“Kimi. You should be careful. There are so many eyes around. We should go.” you tried to be reasonable but your mind was already slipping to something else.
He just chuckled, caressing your cheek with his calloused hand. “Don’t worry. We’re here completely alone. Besides, I’m bored and I want to have some fun. And you looked so tense lately, i just thought…” and he was down on his knees, between your legs, his head disappearing underneath our skirt, making you gasp in shock. 
“Kimi!” you whisper shouted, but he was already pulling your panties aside, his hot tongue tasting your folds. You couldn’t believe it. He was crazy. And you were falling for it. 
Sucking on your clit, teasing you, you tried to not make a sound, worried about anybody catching you in this inappropriate position. His hands gripping your thighs, your soft skin pliable under his rough touch. 
“You’re so delicious…” his voice rumbled through your core, the sloppy sounds of his mouth making you feral. Grinding your hips onto him, you rode to your release, being impossibly close. But he stopped. 
Breathless and sweaty, you looked at his figure getting up on his feet again, his right hand grabbing you by your throat, not harshly but firm, not enough to make you choke and his left hand was still between your legs, fingering you relentlessly. 
A quiet moan slipped past your lips, his mouth curling with a proud smirk, his fingers pushing deep into your pussy, while his thumb flicked over your sensitive clit. 
“How does it feel, huh? Being undone by the young guy in the billion dollar worth room?” he whispered with a victorious smile. You were speechless, wide eyes, your hands holding onto his arm that was stretched to your neck. 
“K-Kimi–” you whimpered. 
“Mmm… yes, yes. Come on my fingers, teacher. I want to feel those soft walls tightening around me, because I’m the one who can make you like this.” he picked up the pace, your body trembling, and you came violently. 
His hand moved on your mouth, muffling your moans as you squirmed in his arms, your eyes locked on his. 
Toto heard strange noises in the back of the garage, taking a few steps, listening carefully. He was shocked and disgusted, understanding what was going on. 
You pushed Kimi from you gently, adjusting your dress, regaining your composure. “We talked about this, Kimi.“ 
“I can’t help it. I even dream about bending you over my car, your face being pressed against the Mercedes livery next to my number. Fuck, what a sight…” he grunted, his pants tightening. 
“We can’t. Kimi. Think straight. You–” but he didn’t listen. His hand already holding your wrist tight, leading you to the empty garage, his car being surrounded by the dark curtain to avoid the lurking press. 
Trying to resist and protest, you melted anyway when he bent you over the car near the halo, your cheek landing against the cold silver arrow. 
With a quick movement he unbuckled his pants, rolling your dress up, tearing your panties from his way and he sank into you with one swift thrust making you yelp. Being stretched by his fingers from earlier really helped. 
Kimi fucked you hard, your hips making contact with the car even though he held you by them, bruising your delicate skin, you drooled all over the livery. Growling in pleasure, he grabbed your hair to lift your head up a little, guttural moan escaping your throat, your chest tight from the intensity of the connection. ”Kimi–” 
“That’s right. If only I could get a picture of this. Fucking perfect, you all over my car. I can’t get enough.” slapping your ass with his other hand, you screamed a little which made him laugh darkly. 
There was a huge risk at this, them being caught, but Kimi didn’t care. He wanted to satisfy his needs, his hunger for you, being driven by his pubertal hormones. 
Toto saw all of it. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything to stop it. It was filthy and wrong. And he knew that this must stop. 
The end of the school year was nearing when you found yourself sitting in the office of the headmaster, his judgemental look measuring your figure. You were worried about what happened, but you didn’t think much of it. 
Kimi and you had another few times of fun together, enjoying each others’ presence, this warmth of your lust driven bodies everywhere you got a chance. One day he stopped attending classes, which wasn’t unusual with his career and travels. But there was a rumour that his parents got him out of the school for him to graduate elsewhere. It was strange because he would st least say goodbye or send you a text. His number went straight into the voicemail and he stopped being active on his socials.
“Mrs. do you know why are you here?” the headmaster asked with a sharp voice. 
“Well, I don’t know, maybe something about some student or… I don’t know.” you shrugged, rubbing your neck.
“It’s about our VIP student Andrea Kimi Antonelli. His parents– His parents told us about some disturbing matter that needs to be investigated.” The headmaster swallowed hard, clearly disgusted by that matter. 
Your face fell pale, you knew where this was leading but you still held the hope that his parents may be having problems about your way of teaching. “What matter is so disturbing for them?” 
He couldn’t believe your audacity to ask. “Are you serious?” 
You furrowed your brows. “What?” 
“You seduced their son on the grounds of this school and you dare to ask what is so disturbing about it? You have a hell of a courage, woman.” he huffed, flipping through the files. 
It felt like a bucket of iced water washing over your head when you stared at him in shock. “I– it–” 
“His team principal spoke also about how you were enjoying yourselves on the school trip at the formula one garage. He described it as horrendous and filthy.” 
You thought that you would rather fall to the depths of your own misery than to listen to this. “It was consensual.” 
“That’s your argument? You’re supposed to be rational here. To not fall into the desire of the hormone raging boy. I’m so disappointed. This is scandalous. I must take legal action on this.” he sharply inhaled, giving you a displeased look while you only could nod. 
When you were sent home in the mid day, your husband was suddenly interested in why so. He noticed your blank stare and your pale face. “What happened? Why are you home so early?” 
Your empty eyes slowly lifted to look at him. “I did something wrong.” 
He chuckled. “What, like you gave a bad grade and now you feel wrong about it?” 
“No.” 
“Then what? It can’t be that bad.” he mocked you. In that moment you realized that you will be better off without him. Even with your reputation at stake, you didn’t want to sleep next to this man anymore. 
“I slept with one of my students.” 
Well, you said it and it broke your heart. What have you done.
He stared at you, his expression turning into an angry one. “What the fuck? Is this some kind of joke? It’s not funny. You’re getting insane, huh.” 
“No, I’m serious. And I want a divorce.” you blurted out, walking to the living room like a ghost and falling on the couch. 
“Huh? You’re not in your right mind. What– you seriously did it? I–” he was in denial, getting speechless. 
You didn’t have energy for talking to him. Registering his bickering and harsh words, you filtered it, not getting it. You simply stopped caring. All you could think about was Kimi, how he must be affected by this, what even happened, how he reacted. So much was going on in your mind, and you were si helpless. You could find him, to meet him somewhere at his face. But you decided not to push it. For his sake. Because that would make the situation even worse.
This was your personal hell. A nightmare. Fucking demise. Your end. 
Biting onto your lip, you sat on the lid of the toilet, not daring to glance into the direction of the stick that laid on the sink. It felt like an eternity. Each second ticking in your brain. How could that happen? You took those pills regularly. Only if… You thought about it, replaying the past few weeks and then it clicked. You surely forgot to take some of the pills when you were in the bad mood from your touch depraving husband. Taking a glance into the direction of the stick again, your mind wandered.
What if? 
What if yes?
What if no? 
If no, that would be easy. Really? 
If yes, then… fuck.
Yes, fuck. It was all it took to get you into this misery.
The alarm on your phone went off and you took in a sharp breath. After this moment, nothing will be the same. The damage is done already. 
With a shaky hand you reached for the stick to look at it. 
And your heart sank.
Positive.
This couldn’t be true. Hell no. Please…
Suddenly you felt bad, terrible, dirty and filthy. Well, it took you a damn long. This for a few times of forbidden desire and lust.
Shoving that stick into the trash, you narrowed your back, eyes staring into the void and your hand landed softly on your stomach. There was a baby growing, the baby of a nearly nineteen year old father. 
Turning around you managed to lift the lid of the toiled and you threw up wildly into it. Tears staining your cheeks. You were alone in this. Nobody could understand your pain. 
“This can’t get to the public eye. It would destroy Kimi’s career.” His father was talking to the headmaster, while you sat aside. With your head down, you looked remorseful, your stomach tightened and nauseous. 
“That’s absolutely right. This can’t go out, it would be scandalous. Even though some of the students already noticed something was going on, it is enough. We agreed that Mrs. here will take behaviour correcting sessions at the therapist and she’s gonna be expelled from the teaching here. We can't accept this. If you want to press charges against her, you can of course, but it’s gonna throw a bad shade on our school also, so please, keep that in mind and decide wisely.” The headmaster looked at Kimi’s father with sharp glare, while you let out a shaky breath. 
The silence was thick as hell, you could feel his fathers gaze on you, burning you like a witch at the stake. You used his son for your own pleasure, and there was no room for explanations, that Kimi was guilty as well, but you were the one with power here. 
“I won’t press charges against Mrs. I believe that she was misguided by her own filthy desires and that therapy correction will help her to deal with it, so that won't happen to any other student in the future. Also I hope that she’ll be marked as a predator.” Kimi’s father spoke like you weren't there. 
A predator. That really hurt you, the weight of it laying on your shoulders, it was harsh, but guess it's the price for the things you did. 
“I won’t ever be teaching kids in the future, that's for sure. I don't want someone to be scared of what might happen even though I'm punished enough by this situation.” you finally spoke, Kimi's father narrowing his eyes at you, ready to spit something harsh at you.
The head of the school cleared his throat. “Fine. From now on Mrs. is forbidden to step on the grounds of the school, we talked about those therapy sessions and that's it. She won’t be bothering your family again. You won’t hear about her or she'll be put in police custody, we talked to the legal authorities. But… Your son needs to keep his hands to himself too, not trying to contact her or anything like that. Or there'll be consequences.” 
Kimi's father grunted softly, not really proud of his son's desires also, but he just nodded in agreement. “It’s done.” 
You sat in the court room, listening to the judge's words. It just echoed in your brain, you were really out of your mind. Your husband sat on the other side, not even looking at you, having an angry expression on his face, hoping that this will end soon. 
“I divorce this marriage from this day on. You can leave, you'll receive the verdict by post office. Have a nice day.” the judge said finally, leaving the room with everybody standing.
Your now ex stood up and walked out of the courtroom. You suddenly ran after him.
“Wait!” 
But he didn’t stop. 
“Wait, please!” and he halted in his tracks, turning over to look at you.
“What? What the fuck do you even want more?" His voice was full of venom and anger. 
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn't- I didn't want it to end like this.” you were on the verge of the tears. Even though you were so distant already before, he was your first real love and it broke your heart that it must end like this.
“You’re fucking sorry? You-” he saw your pitiful state and he frowned sadly. “Just get a grip on yourself for a fucks sake. You’re a great woman and this… this is a shame. A freaking mess. Get back into your shape.” 
You nodded with sadness, trembling from your overwhelmed senses. “I will… don't worry. Just… Wish you the best.” 
“Yeah, you too…” 
A few months after the aftermath of your affair, you were at your last session with your therapist. Days felt a bit better than before, your nerves in shape, and you felt good. Sleep got better too, no more staring into the ceiling fighting the insomnia. 
“I see you look better. That’s great progress.” a therapist said with a hint of a smile, pointing to your appearance.
“Thanks, I feel truly good.”
“Well. Fine. Today's your last session, how do you feel about that situation now?” he asked, scanning your face for a reaction.
Smiling, you placed your hand over the swell of your belly. “It was bad to even let that idea of being with that young man slip in my mind.”
The therapist noticed the pregnant belly under your loose dress and he raised his brows in surprise. “Eh… very well. I suppose you accommodated yourself with a new life already, is that right?” 
You swallowed hard, putting on a fake smile. You didn’t want everybody to know that you’re carrying Kimi’s baby. Lucky for you, your belly was still relatively small even though you were so far along, fooling everybody around. “Yeah. Some things happen quicker than we expect. I found a new way of life.” 
The therapist gave her a sympathetic smile. “I’m glad to hear that. We can close this chapter already. I’m satisfied with your progress and you’re now free to live. I won’t mark you as a predator anymore. You deserve a second chance. But be careful, please. Sometimes our good intentions end up bad.” 
You nodded, smiling slightly. “Yeah, I understand that completely.” 
6 years later
Annoyed noises were heard through the apartment, coming from the room of your kid playing FIFA. 
“Hey, young man, if you continue to be cursing like that, then I'm gonna cut this hobby of yours.” you peeked to his room, a dangerous gleam in your eyes.
“Sorry, mom. Won’t happen again.” he gave you a lopsided smile, and you knew it would.
“The dinner will be at seven, don’t forget.” 
You went to the kitchen, checking the lasagna in the oven, it was his favourite meal. Seeing yourself a little at the reflection of the glass, you looked better nearing your forties than you ever did before your thirties. Maybe it was the fact that your son was the purest soul on earth, apart from his tantrums he threw every time he got near the playstation. You didn’t let any other man in your life after he was born, the pain from the last time was too much and you were simply ashamed about your past. Working for some magazine, writing articles, you put your teachers career to the side, not even mentioning that you have a degree.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the ring of the doorbell, footsteps heard running to the door. “That’s Sebastian, mom! He said he will stop by to give me a book!” 
When he was at the door for more than five minutes, you became worried, because those encounters usually didn’t take much or the boys always ended up in your son's room with loud laughter. Rounding the corner, you saw who's at the door and your chest tightened along with a loud gasp.
“Kimi…” you choked out, seeing your ex-student slash lover standing there with a bouquet of flowers in his hands, clearly shocked by the image of your son, who was ecstatic that the three time F1 world champion Kimi Andrea Antonelli is at his doorstep.
“Mom! Look who's here!”
It felt like the world stopped turning, as if everything around you collided, the suppressed memories flooding back, the words said by many echoing through your mind. 
Kimi gave you an apologetic smile, kind and soft as usual, he's grown into a man with a strong build, a few wrinkles on his angelic face, he was really an adult now. 
Taking a few steps forward, your hand landed on the shoulder of your son while your gaze was still locked with Kimi’s. “What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here.” 
Handing you flowers, he sighed. “I’m sorry, I - I thought it’s a good idea.” 
“Sweetie, go to your room. And play as much FIFA as you like.” you smiled at your son, who’s eyes just went wide with excitement and he ran off to his room with a loud slam of the door behind him.
“Can we talk?” Kimi sounded desperate, his hands itching to touch you, the electrifying tension still palpable between you even after all those years apart.
Maybe you were out of your “corrected mind” but you nodded, gesturing for him to come in. Getting into the kitchen, you put on the kettle with water for tea. The silence was horrible. Kimi stood at the edge of the counter, watching you, taking in your figure. His heart thudded in his chest, nearly exploding every time he caught a glimpse of your polite smile. The main question hanging in the air like a balloon about to burst at any moment.
“So, how's the racing?” you decided to break the ice.
He rubbed his neck. “Heh… good. Thinking about retirement, actually.” 
“What? Why? You were always so enthusiastic about it.” you poured the hot water into mugs, making tea.
“I'm a three time world champion already and… I don’t see my purpose in it anymore. Feels like I achieved everything I wanted. I’m working with Max Vertsappen now on the idea of being a race consultant for his racing team.” talking about it ignited small fires in his eyes.
You placed a mug in front of him on the counter, now being close to him. He wore the same cologne as before, you felt bad to ever feel your guts clenching at that scent. 
“Thanks… well… so… is he…?” Kimi got the courage to look at you while he asked the burning question.
You nodded faster than you could think about it.
It sat in the air again. Kimi has a son with you. 
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you and him.” that made you frown with a sad smile.
“It’s not your fault. It wasn’t even your decision. That’s why I didn't tell you, because I couldn’t bear your mind being clouded by a guilt of being a father while you were still a child with your own dreams to achieve. Apart from me, the desperate woman chasing her dream about having children…” your painful but nearly quiet whimper left your mouth.
His hand touched your cheek lightly, his fingers calloused but warm. “I never thought you’re a desperate woman… I… it was wrong, but I fell in love with you. All those years I thought it’s a childish kind of love, even though we- we had what we had and… In the past months I came to the conclusion that I still love you even now when I’m a grown man.”
Words he said rang through your head, leaving you breathless with wide eyes. You couldn’t believe it. 
“Are you serious right now, Kimi?” 
Oh god, how he loved when you said his name, it made his body shiver. “Absolutely. And… I don’t care about my parents or about any other people knowing about our affair back then, you went through hell because of that while me on the other hand I had a year without a phone and a curfew.” 
“It was hell, Kimi… you can’t even imagine.” tears welled in your eyes and he gently took you into his arms, shushing you. 
“Everybody thought that I’m a monster who seduced a kid. Well, yeah, you weren’t a kid, but you know… but it was consensual, I didn’t pressure you into anything, it was willing. Nobody listened. Those behaviour correcting sessions with therapists, planting the ideology of me being dangerous for youngsters, it was maddening. And I couldn’t even talk to you. To ask you how you’re doing, what have you said to your parents or student council at school. Then my divorce…” you choked on your tears, nuzzling into his chest. 
It hurt him to hear all of this, he felt powerless and angry. It was truly bad for you and he had no idea. 
“I’m sorry. But even after all of that, you decided to keep my- our baby?” 
Your eyes met his. “That was one thing I was sure the most about. I did everything in my power to hide it. And it was successful.” 
His arms tightened around you even more. “And I’m glad you did.” 
Please don’t use my writings without permission! Pictures found on Pinterest.
Tags: @snow-strawberry @dessashippr @chilling-seavey @yara011 @mypersonaldiaryyyyyyy @mywritersmind @boggiesho @minzxt @babyangelc @lenoraruth
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withering-daylight · 16 days ago
Note
OOOOO GIRL THIS IS NICEEE🧡
I don’t have endometriosis personally, but I know 2 family members + 4 friends who have it so just a bit of context.
Alex is such a cutie patootie like even on my periods (where I only bleed a lot— like A LOT.) I want him to take care of me🥹
ALSOOOO Lando we can like.. I don’t know.. go on a date😏
SAFE TO SAY: I LOVE THIS!!!🧡
hii mon! same one who requested the previous endo story. been struggling a little recently (literally cannot catch a break there is so much cramping and blood and all i do is cry). you don’t have to this at all if you don’t want but could you maybe write another endo story? maybe will alex or lan.
you obviously don’t have to but thought i’d ask. i love you much and hope you’re doing well sweet thing 🩵
I wanted to get to this through this week, but today I’m having a lazy Sunday as I’m about to get my period and cramping started, I wrote this little something. Hope this helps you a bit and enjoy 🩵
Also huge thanks for the support, it means so much 🥰
Personal painkiller
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Alex Albon x fem!reader
-> endometriosis series
Summary: Your friend Lando invited you and Alex to spent some days through summer break on his yacht. Enjoying the sunshine and some free time away from prying eyes, you let yourself unwind too much and your body reminds you to not forget.
Warnings: alcohol, endometriosis, cramps, period, blood, discomfort, pain, sadness, fluff, love, mentions of hormonal meds, Alex being supportive boyfriend 💙
Word count: 1.2k
Lando invited you and Alex to his yacht for the summer break. You were thrilled because it was the first time in years you were able to put on some swim wear and feel confident about yourself, revealing your scars to the sun.
Alex was so supportive, he was always there whenever you felt bad or good. Sometimes you were crying from the bloody periods soaking through your clothes and he was so quick in his decisions to help you out and give you warmth you needed.
Lando was your good friend, he was the one who introduced Alex to you at one of his birthday parties. Long before that you thought he’s gay, hitting on George. You were laughing many times at that.
You laid out in the sun, trying to get some tan, enjoying the blissful moment.
“Hey, darling, are you in for some drink?” Lando appeared out of nowhere on the deck, two glasses with drinks in his hands.
You looked at him with a soft smile. “Sure. Why not.”
Taking a sip, you sat up on the sun bed, looking out to the sea, watching Alex snorkelling.
“He’s like a freak in that.” Lando chuckled, chugging his drink.
You laughed softly, almost downing that drink in an instant. Lando gave you a confused look.
“Woah, woah, girl. With this pace I’ll be going down with my alcohol reserves.” He laughed.
“Oh, it just tastes so good.” You smiled.
After dinner you felt slight cramps through your belly which was weird since you took all your meds and probiotics, you started to blame the food.
Sitting beside Alex, playing some cards with Lando, you tried to smile through your pain as usual. Lando noticed your discomfort first. “Are you okay?”
You nodded, taking a sip of a drink and you stopped after that, looking at the liquid. It clicked in your brain. The alcohol. Your sworn enemy through your endometriosis journey. And you were naive that you’re free now.
Alex looked at how you eyed the glass and he took in a sharp breath. “Babe, you—“
Lando was confused, just switching his looks between them, trying to get that unspoken information.
“I fucked up, Alex.” You mumbled painfully.
He then got you close to his arms. “Shhh. No. You didn’t. You just tried to have some good time while you’re relaxed. It happens. Just breathe.”
You clung to him like he was your lifeline. Breathing in his scent it gave you comfort, it helped you to ease your pain a little. You used to say that he’s your personal painkiller.
“Let me get you to the bed. I’ll give you a back massage.” Alex patted your cheek softly with a loving smile.
Lando let out an envious sigh, he longed to have something you two had.
Back in the cabin, you took a shower, warming your belly with the spray of water while Alex looked after you, his eyes sharp to be there for you. You had many moments of fainting in the shower in the past and he always made sure you’re alright.
While you washed shampoo from your hair he noticed something pink, slightly red, running down your thighs. He gasped softly, because he knew what’s going on. Something you dreaded to happen while on your vacation.
“Love?” He spoke softly. You wiped your face from the water, suddenly feeling lightheaded.
“What, Lexie?” His nickname made his heart flutter as he closed the distance between him and the small shower at the cabin bathroom.
Alex took in how you were dizzy and he quickly got his hands under your arm, keeping you up. He didn’t care if he got wet, he cared about you not getting hurt.
“I don’t understand what’s going on…” you muttered, taking a deep breath.
Alex looked down to the shower tiles being stained red. “I’m afraid that you got your period, love.” His voice was gentle.
“Oh no.” You had a pain in your voice, disappointment even.
He helped you get out, drying your skin, gently putting your menstrual panties on, you were clever to pack them.
After that he carried you to bed, placing you into the comfortable sheets, feeling like a princess.
You reached out for his hand, your eyes full of tears. His expression was full of worry, laying beside you, cupping your cheek.
“What’s the matter, darling?”
You sighed. “I thought I won’t get my period until we get back.”
“Weren’t you supposed to be free of it since you’re on that meds?” He asked, his hand circling on your hip.
“I was, but you know how sceptical I am… and look at me now.” You shuddered under the heaviness of your emotions.
“I know, baby. But they said that it can occur because of your hormones being out of the place. Or your body just simply can’t handle that meds.” He tried to soothe you.
“It’s so exhausting…” you whispered, snuggling close to him.
“I know, baby. And I’m here for you. For any decision you make, I’m here to pick up your pieces to glue them back together. I believe in everything you think is right for you. You’re living in your body and you know the best.” He kissed your forehead, smiling softly down at you.
This was something you needed to hear. To be reassured that you’re doing the right thing because you had a habit of doubting yourself. That you’re too much and you’re overplaying yourself by advocating for your pain.
“You’re my hero. Speaking about those things that’s happening to you, you’re brave to be heard, to support other women. Your strength needs support and I’m here for that. I’m so proud of you.” His fingers running though your hair, his words making you emotional even more.
“You deserve more than this, Alex…” you mumbled and he abruptly looked into your eyes.
“No. You’re exactly what I want and you deserve to be cherished and loved like a goddess. Because you’re divine and beautiful. I would breathe for you, go to hell and back for you.” He kissed your nose.
It made you feel loved and appreciated. He was the man that cared about you first. You were his priority.
“I love you.” You breathed out. Alex had his smile wide, softly kissing you.
“I love you too, baby.” He whispered against your lips, being gentle, trying not to make you feel uncomfortable.
After a while of making out, you caressed his cheek. “Can you please give me that back massage, like you promised?”
He chuckled softly. “Anything for my princess.”
You rolled on your stomach carefully with a soft hiss, but after a moment you felt comfy. Alex moved behind you, his knees on either side of your thighs, gently lifting the oversized shirt you had on, brushing his large hands over your lower back. Then he applied some soft pressure to the points he knew you’re sensitive at, the hard knots formed there and he gently started to knead your skin with his fingers. Soft grunts coming from your lips made him smile and he knew you feel good.
A few minutes later you were snoring, sleeping through your discomfort and pain, his hands lulling you to sleep after making you relaxed. He took a quick shower, taking a peek at you every while from the shower, then slipping under the sheets beside you, pulling you to his warm embrace. Nuzzling your face to his chest, he knew you’re safe and comfortable and he smiled, sleep taking over him too.
Please don’t use my writings without my permission! Pictures found on Pinterest.
Tags: @withering-daylight
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withering-daylight · 16 days ago
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This.
This is fucking amazing.
Like I’m going to reread it 20 times amazing.
🧡🧡🧡
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you love me (but you don't know it yet) (lando/oscar, 34,5k, t rated)
When they get to the McLaren motorhome, his PR rep is already waiting for him in the doorway, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. “We would’ve preferred if you’d told us about your boyfriend beforehand, Lando,” she says, as they make their way inside, glancing at Oscar following behind them. “We could’ve had some contingency plans in place.” “Well, I would have told you,” Lando says, “I just didn’t know he existed until like 20 minutes ago.”
READ HERE
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