#𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗟𝗦: // matter and spirit are one

[byeloveyou]

verse summary: his dark materials

a female scholar is something the magisterium will never be willing to accept: never mind a female genius rumoured to not even have a dæmon...

she's the kind of person they'd much rather not be real at all. her work is spent in solitude, published under male names just like her mother was once told to, genetics && dust a fascinating combination regardless of religion or philosophies.

if occasionally there's a flash of colour - a quick and little fluttering from her sleeve to a high up spot - well, maeve prefers not to discuss why her very soul has never uttered a word to her. instead she lives for her work, no time left outside of it for much more than a trail of failed attempts to be maeve as well as doctor donovan.

DÆMON: a mute hummingbird called lorcan (they/them). because of their small size and obvious vulnerability, maeve often lets people assume she doesn't have one at all for her own protection. since her biggest weakness is her heart her dæmon is equally delicate, the biggest danger to her safety being when she lets her guard down. so most of the time the little thing hides in her sleeve, in her collar, in her hair. never more than a flicker of orange people won’t get to focus on. like any tiny bird, they have speed and intelligence on their side but there's nothing 'brute force' about maeve.

[doctordonovan]

❀    ||      maeve && her dæmon ( his dark materials )

in her his dark materials verse, maeve is rumoured not to even have a dæmon. it’s never seen, she always seems to be alone. but actually since her biggest weakness is her heart her daemon is equally vulnerable: the biggest danger to her safety is when she lets her guard down. so most of the time the little thing hides in her sleeve, in her collar, in her hair. no more than a flicker of orange people won’t get to see. it has speed and intelligence on its side but is not a ‘brute force’ kind of animal.

when maeve trusts someone, it will slowly slowly start emerging more, until it may just rest upon the other person’s daemon. if maeve loves someone, that’s the only time her daemon will be heard making any noise in their presence.

lorcan settled when she was young - far, far too young to have a settled dæmon. in truth, nobody is even sure when it settled, but despite appearances maeve is very tuned in with lorcan no matter how often she ignores the side of herself dæmon represents.

[lookedinfinite]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: verses (2)

𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗚𝗔𝗧𝗘: //  I’ll be there to fall into the dark

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗢𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗘: //  I have to reinvent myself again

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦: //  i don't wanna know who i am

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗡𝗦: //  remember that all worlds draw to an end

𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗬 𝗣𝗢𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥: // a very ordinary individual after all

𝗢𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗨𝗣𝗢𝗡 𝗔 𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘: //  train your soul to remember

𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗟𝗦: //  matter and spirit are one

𝗨𝗡𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗙𝗜𝗘𝗗 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗘: // is imagination the mother of truth

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃: // hearken to the voice of our prayer

𝐆𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗘: //  as the world caves in

𝗪𝗘𝗗𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗗𝗔𝗬: // the ghost in me was true

𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗭 𝐔𝗡𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗬: // starts with some pretty words

𝗪𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗘𝐃: // so good til it kinda hurts

𝟏𝟖𝟗𝟗: // what if it’s not like they said it would be?

[phdiism]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: verses (2)

[doctordonovan]

it was meant to be the most natural of bonds: the strongest, purest kind  -  between a person and their dæmon, a person and the truest representation of themselves. as a child she'd longed for lorcan to be... well, truly, anything but themselves. to be willing to speak as she had been forced to learn to, to be less constantly vulnerable to others. yet lorcan had settled far too young, too little to ever stand a chance if caught. her existence was one of watching && learning, of knowing when to move.

❝ letting people in is a skill I've never been very good at. ❞ if maeve wanted honesty from girl, she had to be willing to offer it herself, even if the light that ended up upon her was far from a flattering thing.  ( she did not like it, being known, because of experience instead of choice. )

people came and went, or if they didn't, maeve always found a reason to be gone first. ❝ lorcan and I are both...  bad at finding words. ❞

it did make sense and lyra confirmed as such with a light nod of her head. it would be difficult, and pan hated it whenever lyra even thought about everything that they had been through. she could often feel his anger. but perhaps they both needed to feel it all. and perhaps talking about it even with people who might not ever entirely understand would be beneficial to them both.

❝ you don’t have to be alone with the weight of yours either, ❞ lyra said with a light shake of her head. it had never escaped the child’s notice how far maeve’s daemon could go from her and that was something lyra related to now herself. 

❝ d’you have people who understand? or who at least listen?❞

[doctordonovan]

❝ I have been through hell and come out singing. ❞

it's a sentiment she understands, an experience maeve cannot pretend that she is a stranger to.  such a thing is likely all too obvious in the way warm brown eyes move from him, from the bloodied water from helping deal with the cuts that litter him, to where hester tends to own hurt. ❝ that's the thing about hell. you never really know when you're actually through it. ❞ 

experience was a cruel teacher, yet her worry about @aercnaut's state is hardly hidden from her features. ❝ I'm not going to press about what happened, ❞ she begins instead - vaguely aware of small flutterings as lorcan darts from within her baggy sleeves to some distant corner of room. ❝ but please at least tell me it was for a good reason. ❞

[doctordonovan]

❝ i thought you’d like some company. ❞

it's always a careful choice:   female scholar keeping herself away from too many eyes,  from too much attention.  she's as brilliant thing as she is simply quiet   -  happy to allow world to assume what they wish when imagining her.  dæmon is easily assumable as missing  -   no more than the briefest flutter high above,  in the very top library's shelves,  a blur of orange between ancient books.   it's so rare for her to be in town,  yet research has called for it enough that brown eyes barely leave the book gentle fingers pull from shelf nearest to her.

she has encountered @asrielbelacquaaaa enough she recognises the sound of six feet in their approach.   yet voice remains light,  ❝ because I'm known for being social? ❞   she jokes instead,  giving other another quick glance.  ❝ then again,  I'm here so rarely,  I might get lost amongst all these walls. ❞

[doctordonovan]

maeve was under no delusions - there was only so much good little comforts and distractions could truly do, and long term they would surely be proven useless. yet there was also no true harm in allowing girl to live in the present, to have a little fun until she was ready to talk through the full details.

❝ then let’s go. ❞ she could do with a change of scenery, with something different to focus mind && worries on. ❝ frogs are okay. a little chewy, taste like any generic bird. ❞ it’d be an experience, and warm little smile remained. ❝ it’s not a far walk, maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll have something very unusual as a special for you to try. snails are… interesting. ❞

lyra’s chest felt a little lighter now and she could sense pan’s mood had improved. she knew she should probably talk abou things more but some days, a hug and a bit of distraction was all she was ready for and worked a treat.

❝ I’d like to go there, ❞ lyra said with a light nod of her head. ❝ I don’t think I’ve ever had frogs though. ❞ she’d certainly heard of people eating them but they hadn’t been on the menu anywhere she’d been before and she wasn’t sure how appealing they sounded. perhaps she’d try them at some point though, even if not today, out of curiosity.

[doctordonovan]

❝ oh you're right,  they're teeny-tiny.   but then again,  makes it easier to sneak around and eat what they wish. ❞    it was nice,  a soft conversation about the things she knew too much about,  ❝ mostly the beans,  but they can also survive on the shoots and stems of the plants. ❞

they were a menace to farmers all around,  yet that wasn't something girl needed to to know too many details of.  ❝ but to them,  even the smallest bit of chocolatl would be an entire ocean.  they can try and try but never run out.  it must seem infinite. ❞

lyra giggled at the pun and listened intently when maeve spoke next. ❝ really? ❞ a smile crossed lyra's features at the information. she didn't think she'd ever about that type of bug before but it was fast becoming her favourite bug based on that information alone.

❝ then I'd be a cocoa mirid and eat all the chocolatl I could, ❞ lyra said with a light nod of her head. the idea of that made her lick her lips lightly. ❝ which probably wouldn't be that much though, if they're really tiny. do they eat anything else?❞

[doctordonovan]

her travels,  like his,  have her coming and going as though she has no permanent home.  small smile comes when she throws a glance his way before brown eyes move back to the shelves of books around them.  ❝ careful there,  you'll sound like you missed me. ❞ she hums, leaning up on toes to pull down a book from higher up.  ❝ I had to go south for some research.  how was the north? ❞

Asriel side-glances the woman, smiling. "And what exactly are you looking for?" he takes a random book and pretends to care about the cover. "It's been a while since last I've seen you, where did you disappear to?"