#🌧️ ✦ venting

[r4inbowv0lt]

HAI! I'm JOLT OR VOLT (he/zapp/bolt/xe/rawr)! I'm a bigay alter in a system!

i'm the artist of the system && love to be cringe!

i'm a jay walker fictive in a subsystem as well!

i love rainbows && scenecore && kidcore && decora kai && neon stuff!

my roles are artist && symptom holder && socializor && energetic alter && vernalian && dear && frijōn

I can be a little syscoursy if I feel up for it. but I don't tag it!!

no DNI I block as I see fit

HOWEVER!!!! here are some things that I support ;; age regression, therian, fictionkin, alterhuman, miscecanis/misceverse, objectum/posic+, FURRIES!!!!, transspecies && probably more I can't remember right now!!!

[stupid-jirai]

I feel bad when something bad isn't actively happening to me at the moment. Like yes I'm doing kinda okay for once, but my brain says:

"You're a faker. Go die! Faking mental illness is horrible! How dare you! Get worse so you can actually deserve the title of mentally ill and jirai, disgusting liar pig ((╬◣﹏◢))"

My brain is very mean to me :(

[kiwisandpearls]

oh wow oh so cool that stupid bill got passed that’s so fucking fun

[bearysweetmama]

been going through so much the past few days and i just feel so crumby and i wish i knew how to stop feeling these big stressful feelings n i wanna regress and cope but i just can’t 🙁

[borderline-culture-is]

fuck it this is the most embarrassing and stupid thing i've ever sent here but it can't just be me getting upset over stuff like this

bpd culture is legitimately splitting sometimes on the strangers voting in this silly interior design game i play because it takes redoing most of the designs like 3-6 times to get a good score

it pisses me off so much to the point that i wanna throw my tablet across the room and scream and cry caUSE I'M NOT BAD AT THIS FUCKING GAME MY DESIGNS ARE GOOD THESE PEOPLE JUST HAVE THE WORST TASTE IN THE FUCKING WORLD

- 🦊🌧️

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[crescent-consort]

using this as a vent post. Feel free to ignore, I’m just frustrated.

So back in 2009 I had horribly injured my left knee. I’m talking full dislocation of my knee cap, torn and stretched ligaments, having to wear a brace for six months and use crutches because I couldn’t walk.

Fast forward, my knee has “healed” but not correctly. I’ve walked with a noticeable limp ever since, my knee gets irritated easily and swells and hurts for days on end, and it’s just over all not fun. But it was manageable until the other day.

Tuesday night I had stepped wrong and did SOMETHING to anger it badly. So badly, I had to go to the ER on Wednesday to find out what I had fucked up and how badly did I fuck it up. The doctor was basically like “we can’t see anything but you should go to an orthopedic specialist”

As an American with no insurance that’s like….impossible lol.

So I took their other advice and have been babying my leg for the last few days, minimal walking and lots of ice packs and meds to manage pain….its not getting any better.

I’m genuinely worried I did something more irreparable this time and unfortunately I won’t be able to move around again as I once did. It’s a bit scary, and extremely painful honestly.

Anyways, I’ve just been feeling more and more worried about it with each day that passes and I’m still in an insane amount of pain and discomfort. I keep hoping it will just like…magically be fixed lol which is dumb but, idk. I can’t afford proper care, and at this point proper care sounds like a very expensive surgery through an orthopedic surgeon and that’s just literally not viable.

I am going to be searching for something to help insurance wise that isn’t going to drain my wallet, but I don’t feel very hopeful.

That’s just what I wanted to vent about. Sorry it’s so long 🥲 I’ll be okay, I just needed to get it out somewhere.

[foxxfrilled]

aa

stayin at dads house. hghhghh forgt m binky. ths is awful 😢😢💧💦💧😢💧

💧💧😢😢💧💧💧 eueuu u 💦💦💧😢 euu

/ref

[lovemari]

maybe in another universe you love me as much as i love you, or maybe i’m just as delusional in all universes.

[r4inbowv0lt]

you ever have that where your body tries to puke, but it only really gags really violently, but tehre still manages to get high enough to get some stomach acid i think up to your throat so you haven't technically puked (maybe only some spit) but god that acid taste is in your throat? yeah. that's me. blegh i hate that XP happy that it (aka my sickness) seems to be slowly passing tho i am not having a good time over these past few days did you notice? lol

[kiwisandpearls]

“What? No! I couldn’t possibly have migraines!” I say as I turn off all the lights in my room and try to keep it as quiet as possible because it alleviates the pain from my ‘headache’ by a bit. “These are just particular bad headaches!” I say as I get nauseous when I have these ‘headaches’. “They’re not that bad!” I say as sometimes when I take medication it does nothing.

[bearysweetmama]

sometimes my regression frustrates me so much its like it comes out when i am so utterly upset and i am just stuck crying and feeling like a little kid who doesnt know how to say how they feel so they just stand there and sob and sob and sob until their little back is heaving and they’re sniffling constantly and wiping their face on their little sleeve even though the tears just keep coming

[borderline-culture-is]

bpd culture is splitting on a group of people for a year fearing that they hate you for it now so you cryptically post on the one platform where you literally couldn't block them hoping they'll reach out first but knowing they won't cause they do hate you they hate you they hate you they hate you they always hated you they just pitied you it was never genuine care they felt for you it was just pity they don't want you around they've made that clear

- 🦊🌧️

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[selfshipsobbing]

I have been patiently waiting for my f/o to be able to be with me physically. Since last year. There’s a specific plushie I want of him, but he won’t be available until sometime in august. I check the website almost daily, hoping for some kind of update. Maybe I’ll be able to get him earlier? But no, it’s always the same. I honestly don’t even know why I do it, I know what to expect. But maybe, just maybe, I’m hoping for some kind of miracle.

Anywho, I remember submitting a previous response with being disgusted at myself for not being protective with my f/o. If only I could’ve foresaw myself now. I’m currently extremely protective over my f/o. I hate when people mischaracterize him, and it makes me cringe a little when I see people claim he’s their boyfriend or anything of the sort. I rarely even feel guilt for my emotions. Just pure rage at the absurdity of some people. For those still reading, I don’t torture myself with these things. I don’t engage and ignore them anyway I can, but I can’t help but scoff at their comments whenever I randomly remember them.

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After (briefly) proofreading I realized that I basically combined two admissions into one. I don’t mind, though; I’m too lazy to make them separate anyway, haha. And thank you for this blog, mods. I feel better after venting here.

🌧️

☆☆☆

[mnty-bubblegmyum]

the urge to ask everyone If we're on good terms

[io-iota]

i wonder when i'll actually find somewhere i feel at home. i always feel like i kinda assimilate into a prexisting group and end up sticking out and it doesn't work and i eventually start feeling more and more alienated until i cant take it and i leave and i'm just left alone and i don't even end up taking anyone with me. i'm just some class pet they took care of for a week for the extra credits but they keep forgetting to feed me and when i can't take it anymore and quit they all just forget about me

[r4inbowv0lt]

ugh sometimez I hate being part of a zyztem. you can blink once and zuddenly a whole week has pazzed.