#📂 ⤷ 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 : alexander / interactions

[poetrysings]

location: rainbow rythm

status: closed starter for @ladcies ( alexander & safiye )

alexander's eyes scanned the menu of the venue, unsure of what to order for himself before completely giving up, facing the bartender with a polite grin. "i'll just have whatever she's having" he asked, pointing at his companion, safiye, before returning his gaze to the bartender. "if you have any snacks— we'll have that too, please." the author then eyed his friend, a plea present on his features as he waiting for her to order for them. "just please don't order straight up gasoline. years of drinking cheap alcohol has messed up with me and i ain't a kid anymore, i can't handle a bomb like that anymore, you'll have to get me to the e.r" he chuckled before putting his phone back to on his pocket, ready to give his undivided attention to the other. "i should come visit you more often, i like your side of the borough. do you do presentations, in the studio you work at?" alex inquired.

[poetrysings]

location: prospect park, ice rink

status: closed thread for @tyreynolds ( alexander & tyson )

song inspiration: snow angel - renee rapp.

alexander had been to manhattan earlier that evening, never one to miss the rockerfeller tree lightning ceremony. to him, there was something truly magical about the whole ordeal that had the power to turn anyone in a ten miles radius into a holiday lover and he, was no exception. he had decided then to take a taxi to cross the bridge and drop him off somewhere else, so he could walk home and dissect his own thoughts. he hadn't accounted, whatsoever, that by night in early december in new york it would get cold enough to fool anyone into thinking it was snowing, to keep the ice scraps from the ice rink frozen, creating the perfect visual illusion of real snow.

after considering for a brief second, the author laid on the cold snow shavings and let his limbs move up and down to create a little shape on the shavings, earning looks from the people near. it was with his back soaked and cold that some reality hit him, a weight he hadn't felt in years heaved his heart. there was no rhyme nor reason for his sudden mood change but there he laid on the ground, the weight of the world on him as the snow around him simulated a snow angel.

[poetrysings]

location: alex's apartment, green point

status: closed starter for @ladcies ( alex & valérie )

with one cup of hot cocoa in each hand, alexander approached the dinner table where now laid a few papers with easiness as a very attentive pollux followed his every step with unwavering attention; his own attention glued to the woman sitting on one of her chair. it wasn't a rare sight; they had been friends before becoming business partners and before getting involved romantically and although the later hadn't worked as they had hoped, the other two adjectives remained a truthful depiction of their current relationship. it wasn't perfect what they had; sometimes being in the same room became too unbearable it made alexander not write for a week straight in some sort of self-sabotage punishment but they had managed to make it work and if he were honest, there wasn't anyone he'd rather have such a complicated relationship with.

now there they were. two colleagues, friends, planning a future for something they had created and nurtured together when they had hoped for a life together in his apartment, just as they had been many moons ago when they were just starting their journey as business partners except, there was much more at stake now. "i met a really cool novelist the other week. she sent me her latest work and it's pretty cool, i think she could be a nice addition. do you want me to send it to you? i think you'd like her. she reminded me of you" he proposed as he dived into yet another paper sheet, blue eyes casually stealing glances at the other. "how was thanksgiving? you had fun?"

[poetrysings]

location: alexander's apt in green point.

status: closed starter for @bitingironics ( alexander & claire )

he burrowed his brow, deep in concentration as he finished the last touches of whatever recipe he had found worthy enough for claire earlier that week, trying his hardest to make every part look perfect. with thanksgiving passing by, the author had decidedly made an effort to invite each and every person he was thankful for for a dinner at home, made by himself, as a way to show them just how thankful he was to have the people he had in his life. claire happened to be the first name on his list, the day he started planning. it was easy to see that the law professor had had a big impact in his life from the moment they crossed paths when he was only a mere student of hers back in university, the fact that their connection had been strong enough to continue their friendship past his graduation through his decision to give up a career in politics and beyond, was something he never took for granted.

adding a few more touches, he closed the lid of the skillet he had been experimenting on before returning to the living room with claire's choice of beverage and his own, a glass of beer, shooting his former teacher and now current friend, an apologetic grin. "it'll be ready in like, 10 minutes. sorry for the delay. honestly, you're lucky you weren't here an hour ago, i was about to start a fire— someone should really warn the common folk about the dangers of flambé" he jested, handing the other the drink he had offered when she arrived to his home. "but, this gives us a minute to chat. have you made anyone cried yet this semester?" alexander's lips curled up, knowingly, whilst shooting the other a knowing look.

[poetrysings]

alexander's expecting eyes scan the book being shown to him briefly before flashing the other a gentle smile. in return, he shows the pile of books he's been collecting throughout his visit to the book store, carefully resting on his arm. he really wasn't a self-indulgent type of person in most matters, he had learned from a very young age to be self-reliant and be grateful of what he had; yet there were some things he did allowed himself to splurge on for himself whenever chance arose: a nice meal, a good trip to widen his horizons and a thrilling book to get lost on whenever life got too overwhelming. alas his current visit to the store and his mini lego game, trying to pile the books he had chosen for himself (and some to gift to others).

"can't really blame you now, can i? i have no moral ground for that" he signals the pile of books before returning his attention to the other. "what are you reading?"

open. ( @bfmstarters )where: one more page

daehyun turned the book over in his hand, eyes scanning the synopsis on the back. being inside a bookstore, nestled in between the stacked shelves, always seemed to clear his head. he's looking for a new world to fall into. somewhere mystical. his reading trends did seem to lead towards fantasy, something otherworldly that can drift him away to a distant land. it was comforting to escape. by now he's cracked open the book, absorbed in the words on the page. that's why he doesn't immediately notice the other person standing near him, and he startles.

"oh, am i in your way?" dae shuffles, closing the book in his hand and taking a small step backward, "sorry. i was getting a little too into it." he holds the book up in explanation, soft smile tugging at his lips. friendly.

[poetrysings]

location: note worthy, green point

status: closed starter for @angel-chiarelli( alexander & angel )

"there's really no one else i could've called, is there?" alex mused while giving the other a knowing look as they entered the record shop, waving a gentle greeting to the shop owner before hiding next to angel's frame and moving with him as he let is friend explore the extensive repertoire at the palm of their hands. "last party of yours i got obsessed with this one record you played, i can't even remember what it was but i've been dreaming about it no stop so please, help me find it? i'll get you whatever you want from here and i mean it when they say their collection is crazy" he offered, eyeing the vinyls in front of them. "and we can go to that nice diner, retro bites? it's pretty cool, the food is really good too. i'd offer the sports bar but i just can't picture you walking into a sports bar. we can go there, wherever you want. just please— i'm having people over later this week for a meeting and i want the music to be perfect. you know me, i'll just play hozier non-stop and end up having a debate on dante's inferno again. friends don't let friends go through that two times in a row."

[poetrysings]

location: promenade, brooklyn heights

status: closed starter for @elliot-mason ( alexander & elliot )

a sense of easiness fell onto the fiction author as the two friends and their dogs as the five of them strolled down the walkway with lower manhattan as their rather picturesque background, an opportunity to both spend some time with elliot away from his busy schedule as an e.r nurse as well as a chance to give pollux his daily walk that made living with him in a condo in green point a tad less painful than it needed to be. alexander was thankful for it all, nonetheless, and for having the chance to have an open schedule to drop anything he was doing to meet people he held close to his heart. 'i never understood the hype for manhattan' he signaled as best as he could, having had multiple lessons throughout his youth after a new classmate arrived only being able to communicate through asl. 'seems like a whole world apart, doesn't it? could you imagine living on the other side of the bridge?' he inquired, hands slow and steady with every word. then, he sighed. 'how's work, saving lives?'

[poetrysings]

had it been anyone else asking, alexander would easily avoid the question. he had been doing so for the past year and a half, using the skills he had learned as a teenager to switch and flip conversations to his advantage. he had done it with the press, his editor, fans and friends who had asked for a glimpse of his upcoming body of work— afraid to let them down. yet this wasn't just anyone, austin was someone alexander trusted and was flattered to have someone who enjoyed his work as a close friend. "i've rewritten the first two chapters about ten times in the past six months, man" he provided with a pitiful chuckle, trained eyes fixed on his friend to try and make sure he was safe while doing his set. "but, i might have something i feel not as ashamed showing to you— you really wanna read it? not even my editor has seen it yet. to be fair it may help, give me some perspective on what to do next."

at the suggestion, alex hummed thoughtfully. as a fan of austin's work and sports in general, it was in his best interest to help him maintain a healthy lifestyle, at least until the off-season started. however, who was he to say no to such delicatessen? "as long as your coach doesn't find out, i'm game. can't have a target on my head this early on. can we get some beers too? while we are at it, might as well, right?" he chuckled, helping the other set the bar in it's place. "when's the next game? how's the team treating you?"

who: austin + alex (@poetrysings) where: iron edge (gym)

"all i'm saying," austin said in between sets. he was lifting today, bench pressing with alex spotting him so he wouldn't die if he accidentally dropped the bar. but he wasn't pushing his max, he'd be fine, and he only had five left in this set and he'd hardly broken a sweat. "is that you have a really easy in with the ending of the last one. have you started the opening scene? it could literally continue right off of the last one." he wasn't trying to push, he was just dying for spoilers for his favorite series. and because his friend happened to be the author of said series...

he counted himself down and lifted the bar up onto its place before sitting up, running a hand over his head and shrugging off the tangent he'd been on. their jobs couldn't have been more different, but austin hated when people asked him why he wasn't simply catching more touchdown passes, so he quickly re-routed. "did you wanna grab something to eat? i could eat a whole pizza right now." not exactly on the team nutrition plan, but he'd manage. besides, sal's was right down the street.

[poetrysings]

alexander listened to her speak, blue eyes glued to the dancer until the bartender returned with their drinks, adverting his attention to them with a gentle smile briefly before addressing safiye once again as a big sigh escaped him "to be fair, well respected men don't really go around calling themselves well respected now, do they?" he paused before inquiring; "have they ever been bad to you? as in, is it ever worrying, dancing for them?". at her next comment, the corner of his lips curled up every so slightly, brow raised with amusement. "professor, huh? is that your kinky thing? roleplay?" the author questioned, the smirk never leaving his lips whilst granting the other a nod in acknowledgement "we all have it in us, right? with the right company of course" he concluded with a knowing look directed at the other mixed with humor. once again, the author sat and listened to her reason about his own work and a new perspective possibly helping him while nesting his drink in one hand before bringing the brim to his lips and letting the liquor touch his tongue, humming in an approving manner. "you have an excellent point and i agree with you one hundred percent, reason why we're here tonight with these lovely drinks and why i have a camping trip planned next week, but in defense of my publicist, i've been having a hard time with this one i think she's scared it won't happen at all" the author explained. as safiye opened up about her past career and injury, alexander's gaze softened every so slightly. "i'm sorry to hear that. that couldn't have been easy— do you miss it?" he questioned without thinking before shaking his head to himself "you don't have to answer that if it's not something you wanna talk about." at the offer to be her impromptu dance parter/student, he pretended to ponder his answer over for a few seconds theatrically before nodding in agreement. "let's do it. it'll be fun, ill even bring lunch with me for after dance lessons as an apology for when I inevitably step on your toes. is this when i warn you i haven't done this since i was like, fourteen?" a chuckle fell from his lips. alexander listened to safiye's warning attentively, raising a brow with amusement as he brought his free hand to his chin in concentration. "if that's the biggest risk of it all— then i'll take my chances. it wont be that bad, i wont be alone, i'll be one more name to add to what i am sure is a long list of sad men and women left yearning for you after seeing you dance."

a kindness such as alex's often felt distant of her reality, perhaps something safiye yearned for and found in those sweet encounters, as the writer seemed set on their rather peculiar journey of loosening up. " well, i'm not so used to well respected man, most of them just toss money at me on a stage " safi held a soft grin, quickly switched tom a malicious one as she leaned closer to alex, lavender perfume inebriating. " begged? so professor alexander is indeed kinky, that is nice to know " amusement twirled upon her brown eyes as he unbuttoned his shit and rolled up sleeves. inevitable safi's attention lingered on alex arms, such a tame sight yet capable of eliciting attraction. " or, there is a scenario in which relaxing might actually help with writing. having new experiences and relieving some of the stress can actually stimulate the brain " a dancer although tied to choreography often required creativity or inspiration, and safiye sought it in people or places, anything capable of driving an emotion, perhaps this could help him. " i was a ballerina for over half of my life, for the american ballet theater. but then an ankle injury had me retiring early " fingers reached for the drink, sipping away any memories of those brutal days. " back in the day a couple of dancers convinced me to attend a few classes, it's nice, way lighter than ballet. we should do it, i can schedule a class at a studio! " if alexander genuinely wished for ballroom classes, safiye could reach for a teacher in the very morning out of sheer excitement. " uhm, worst case scenario, you fall in love with me... or at least my ass in skimpy lingerie " a daring flirt as soft fingers reached for his cheek bone, caressing it gently in a taunt to move it lower. perhaps she was having a little bit too much fun.

[poetrysings]

he was gentle by nature, enjoyed giving people compliments and being a source of reliability and easiness. there were sides of alexander however, that he didn't gave up easily to others unless the right circumstances presented themselves or he felt at ease with his companion, like it had moments prior. "i'm just saying— no well respected man would ruin a nice dress under any circumstance unless asked, nay, begged to" he maintained, tongue-in-cheek as he fought the urge to smirk. knowing there was no point in fighting safiye anymore regarding losing up, he did as instructed; unbuttoning one button of his shirt whilst rolling up his sleeves, relaxing into his seat. he was so used to forcing himself to sit up straight while writing and editing other works that it had become a habit by now and he could finally feel his shoulderblades relaxing under his shirt. "my editor will hunt you down if you ruin me and make me relax too much to the extend that i don't meet her deadline, fair warning" he quipped. he listened to her warning about ballet and he knew if his mother were alive, she'd toast to that. "you ever did ballet?" he questioned instead, only to nod along to her own query regarding ballroom. "a bit, yes. I'm no expert and it's been years since I last practiced but— I've dabbled. have you? it could be fun getting back to it if you want" he agreed. then, alexander considered his response to her suggestion. it didn't felt like his crowd, yet he figured if he really wanted to loosen up a little and learn to enjoy life again to give himself a chance to go into his new book with a new perspective; why not had to become a new motto of his. "alright, you win. let's pop the cherry. what's the worst that could happen?"

a faint grin tied to her red lips, rather in awe of his somewhat daring commentary, as alex often remained direly polite around anyone, something safiye could learn from the man. " uh, is that flirting, alexander? do i have that sort of chaotic effect on you? " part of her genuinely hoped the man had some fun on those nights out, the stress of writing an entire new book could be draining, she imagined. " well i'm twenty-eight and still trying to have some fun, It's just about finding some balance. you deserve to have some fun, even if you're in the thirties " safiye has a memory of her granny, an incredible turkish woman that sought to enjoy life till the very end, attending ballrooms well into her seventies. safiye hoped to be that way in the future. " start by relaxing the body, let go of the problems, even for a bit. try to enjoy these moments, don't think to much over it " finger reached for the negroni, sipping it gently. " for real? that's impressive " she understood which his trailing off entailed to. " ballet is pretty ruthless, more than people know. most women quit at some point, some companies see them as disposable…  " whether for pregnancies or injuries, companies rarely extended a helping hand. " have you tried ballroom dancing? my grandma loved it, we could go on a studio one day " maybe he could reconnect to something nice, hat could improve fun. " surprisingly, a lot of people don't attend strip clubs, but there is always a first time. we could pop your cherry and all! " safiye reached for a buffalo wing, rather curious to see if alexander meant that. " i'm comfortable with you going, as long as you're okay! "

[poetrysings]

he gave the other an appreciative hum in response, followed by a sheepish smile. although it was obvious that their personalities were polar opposites in many accounts, as the two spent more time together it became easier for alexander to see that those differences was what made their friendship as interesting, what had drawn him to introduce himself to safiye in the first place. the statements about her bringing out a reckless part of him he thought he had long forgotten were truthful after all. "now what kind of a man would ruin such a dress— in a pg environment i mean" he smirked, arching a brow at the other. "okay i am not pretending. i'm 34 saf, i'm tired. you should've met me at 16 or even in my 20's when my body wouldn't fail on me for a whole day after going out but, i am trying here. what would make me look loosen up?" he questioned. normally, alexander wasn't one to speak of his past or his family, never wanting to be a downer with his story. however, when it came to his mother, he couldn't help but beam proudly. "she was. she was in the new york company for a while then she got pregnant and—" he trailed off, pursing his lips together. 'i ruined her dreams' was never an easy ice breaker. "she still taught me a lot, growing up. she always told me no kid of hers would make a fool of a dancing partner so, i know a bit of everything but pole dancing, that takes a whole set of skills i do not possess nor ever could i" alex gave the other an acknowledging look as safiye spoke of her work and even suggested he went to see for himself, he couldn't help but falter a bit as a small chuckle escaped him. "is this the moment i, to no one's surprise, say i have never been to a pole dancing club? but it could be fun, as long as you're okay with me going of course."

a rare soft grin held upon her red lips, flattered over alex´s compliment, one distant of most men, that often perceived safiye as a brash woman. " i suppose we both have that in common " his charming features tied perfectly to such dainty clothes and a rather stunning hair, yet safi held a suspicion that the writer's mind would be far more interesting than anything she had ever laid eyes on. " dont worry, i have too many dresses, besides it would be far more interesting seeing you loosen up… that is a waste, you know? pretending to be an old man when you look this good " a flirt came easily to her as the dancer held genuine admiration for alexander. " did something happen? besides me making you dreadfully reckless " gently the barman approached, resting both negroni's against the wooden counter alongside a portion of buffalo wings, a perfect combination for a night out. " not reckless enough, you still look pristine, there is plenty for us to work on " deep down safiye yearned to drag alex into the very club she danced on, in spite of his manners, he seems in dire need of some fun and relaxation. " wait, your mom was a ballerina? that is incredible. i was for many years, but had to retire " a sad story, one safiye wouldn't ruin the night sharing. " around two years, its a bit more than pole dancing, thoug. they call me an exotic dancer, which is a very polite way to say stripper " safi held no shame upon that revelation, sipping gently from the negroni as brown eyes observed alex. " you should go by the club, bet i can get you to loosen up. "

[poetrysings]

sometimes it felt like alexander was torturing himself. it was easier, whenever the two would reunite at their office or at some café to discuss work post breakup yet his comfort had been the last thing in his mind when he suggested his apartment when talking about their reunion. upon hearing of valérie's diagnose, alexander had dealt the best way he knew how to: research. it had made him spiral down for hours upon reading articles upon articles, thinkpieces and anecdotals and the writer had reached the conclusion that the best he could do was to be mindful and put her needs and comfort first alas, he had offer his apartment. a place the two were familiar with where they had spent days and nights marveling in eachother's company, a place where he had cared for her before while they were together, and planned to continue doing so now to the best of his abilities and beyond. still, his unwavering drive to make the whole ordeal easy for the other didn't stop it from being slow torture, as memories of the life they had once shared made themselves present every time he'd look at her back in her dining room.

"she is. she writes thrillers, it's really impressive. i haven't felt a shiver run down my spine in years and somehow she made it happen when i read her book" then came a pause, as he tried to look for words to describe what he meant about their resemblance. "the way she carries herself— there's no way you can't sense she's in the room. she has an effect on people, just like you" he mused deep in thought. alexander could still remember the day he had met valérie, how she had made it almost impossible to forget. the writer cleaned his throat, his train of thought returning to the papers scattered in front of him and the discussion ahead, a warm smile appearing in his features as the other discussed her holiday as a sense of melancholy took over him at the holidays once shared together. "that sounds really nice, i'm sure your mom loved having you two at home again. do you have plans for the 25th?" as the conversation returned to him, a small shrug was given in response, a humorous chuckle escaping him. "do i really scream party to you? same as ever, went to the soup kitchen and came home to make dinner" it was a tradition of his for every big holiday that had started the year he had moved to new york from california first as a diner and later on, as a volunteer. a tradition he had, at some point, shared with valérie, just like his mother's sweet potato pie. "i did" a gentle grin. "i may have a slice or two in the fridge from the last one i made, if you're hungry."

soft fingertips remained caught in a couple of papers, slightly trembling as they often would lately, a symptom valerie sought to ignore upon alexander's presence. fearful of breaking down entirely over her own feelings, the woman forced herself to focus on their work, something that breather hope into life, as his writing always did. " thanks… " a sweet perfume tied to the dinner table once those cups of hot cocoa rested upon such, inevitably the woman could feel consumed by memories of older times, ones in which they'd share kisses instead of longing looks ridden in complication. sometimes the disease pushed val to be braver, do things she one day no longer could, yet such bravery shattered within that same apartment. if only she could pour her feelings out one last time.

" yes, that would be nice! i mean, the more the merrier, besides, if you say she's good, then she must be " black eyes glimpsed into alex, borwn arching in a sort of curiosity. " reminded you of me… how so? " although valerie held a passion for literature, she held no talent for writting. " it was pretty normal, violet and i went to mom's place, and we talked all night long " delicate fingers grasped for the hot cocoa cup, pressing it in an attempt to have the tremor go away. " and you? any nice parties? did you make the pie this year? " that damn pie, valerie could never forget it.

[poetrysings]

there were many memories of the city alexander held dearly to his heart. getting out of the bus from california for the very first time with only a small backpack and a lifetime of dreams was amongst his most precious ones, seeing his first broadway show, spending his first new year in the city as an eighteen year old, falling in love for the first time— the list was extensive.

one of those memories who always served him as a pick me up when he needed them the most, was himself crying for the first time in claire fletcher's office for the very first time, as nothing more than a student. the pressure of chasing his dreams and working three jobs to achieve it, the workload of a whole semester on his shoulders and the ghosts of his past had piled up and everything had come crashing down in claire's office after she had pushed him to do better in her class. looking back, he was grateful for her unwavering trust in him and his prowess, on what he could one day be. alexander himself hadn't seen his own potential as he step into claire's class yet she had shaped him into a person who could not only have a bright future in politics, but with a head on his shoulder that wouldn't allow him to lose sight of why he had gone into the field to begin with.

reason why, when he started to doubt if politics was the path he would pursue for the rest of his life, his biggest concern was what claire would think. his heart was set that as much as he loved the subject and the idea of fighting for a better world from the inside— the chances of it happening where slim to none and it was slowly eating him alive. each day he went to work, sat in the same tables as those who called the shots so wrongfully made him lose a part of himself, sight of what was all for. the night he had taken a flight from washington to new york after getting his pdh and had been asked to become the advisor of the newest postulant for mayor, his biggest concerned had been facing claire, scared she'd be disappointed in him for not trying hard enough. instead, he had been greeted with such a warmth and understanding he hadn't felt since his own mother, which made that the second time alexander weeped in claire's office.

at the time, both occurrences had been bleak. a part of his life his past self was ashamed of; he would rather forget. alexander now was thankful for those memories and more so, for the other person in them. even before his mother died, he had lost her at an early age. there were glimpses of her every few months, were they'd sit to watch a movie or dance around the living room when he'd believe maybe, just maybe, she'd be back and they would be the family he always needed. there had always been hope in him to one day have her mother back, proud of the man she had raised but his dreams had died with her until his university graduation where he could've sworn claire's gaze as he shook her hand after receiving his diploma was prideful, maybe a bit maternal if he let his selfish heart had a saying in it and that was the day he realized.

claire fletcher was the closest thing he had to a maternal figure in his life.

he wasn't surprised by his finding, but rather honored. he knew if alycia warren was alive or he had a way to contact her, she'd think the same as him. she'd love claire as much as he did and she'd be thankful that someone as remarkable as her had took a broken alexander under her wing and had seen something in him alexander himself hadn't seen.

all this, of course. had been unspoken and undisclosed. as the writer alexander now was, he was the first person to appreciate unspoken truths. sometimes words lacked the depth and complexities of human emotions, of bonds that were peculiar to those peeping in. never had he express how he truly felt towards claire nor her involvement in his life, but he tried every time to let his actions speak for him because he was certain no words could explain it accurately. the one word he did tried to often say to claire to express his feelings however, was thankful.

a chuckle escaped him as he shook his head in response to her retort. "big man paying 90k yearly to sleep in class? he'll get far" he shared. he knew how precious time was when in college, especially to the teachers and especially to someone like claire. "he can waste his life away but wasting your time? hope you made him weep" as he had done to him many years ago, for different reasons. then, he cleaned his throat. "do you and ryatt have plans for the 25th? hanukkah starts that day and i'd like to host a small dinner for all the people i care about. you can come in late, i don't care i just want to make sure i spend at least an hour of that day with the two of you, if possible. i'll make a big dinner, all my mothers' specials and i'd like to share it with the two of you. "

glancing around at the little pieces of a young man's life, claire couldn't help but let the smile on her face grow. from the pictures, to the books, to the homey place he lived in, claire felt a warmth of pride echo through her at his determination and his bravery. alexander had done what a lot of people never had the courage to do; stop, turn around, and go the other way. and that way was paved by roads that were rocky and led to some dead ends, to discomfort, but claire knew, had unfailing faith, that he would find his own way eventually.

and she would be there to help him, of that she had promised him when he'd broken down and told her the truth. she remembered the wide-eyed student a nyu, the fierce surge of protectiveness that had overcome her when he had told her that he no longer wanted to be in politics. she'd only felt like that a few times in her life - this surge of response to someone else's emotions, to someone else's pain. claire wondered if he knew just how much she thought of him like her own son, and then stopped wondering, the smile faded and was replaced by something more searching, more intense. she had unknowingly come back to this thing that she did - thought of her inability to disclose her own feelings without being afraid of it, without running away and saying nothing. it seemed to spread like some kind of virus to all aspects of her life; her love life included. she thought of how she couldn't tell ryatt that she loved her, couldn't tell the people that she viewed as practically her own children how much they meant to her.

claire had tried therapy before, a handful of times; she'd hit some kind of wall each and every one. she'd since given up trying to change what seemingly couldn't be changed. trauma was trauma, she thought, you couldn't really get rid of it. still, with that acceptance came a wave of despondence so keen that it left her breathless. she tried to work through her own feelings but the wall that had went up between herself with the words themselves - i love you - had been prevalent every time, so thick and suffocating that the words themselves would be stolen before she could even think to utter them at all. she wished she could just say them...

it would be a relief at this point. maybe.

without the words, all she had left were actions. some said that actions spoke louder than words, sure, but weren't the words nice to hear regardless? wasn't a reassurance comforting? i love you, i love you, i love you, she seemed to whisper in her head at each hello, at each goodbye, at each thoughtful gesture that she made to the people in her life that really mattered; she hoped it was enough. somehow, it just fell flat to claire who had never uttered those three words to anyone in her life. what had never really heard them uttered to her either.

glancing up at alex, some of the thoughts spilling from her mind still echoing in her heavy blue eyes, she greeted him with a grin and reached forward to take the wine that he'd graciously bought for her. taking an experimental sip, she hummed in delight before sitting back into the couch. the smell of dinner wafted from the kitchen, making her stomach rumble slightly, but in the next breath she had tilted her chin up slightly, her gaze turning mischievous at the question. "he deserved it for sleeping in my class." everyone who knew claire, who had been in her lecture hall when she was commanding the space, knew that she was stickler for giving undivided attention to lessons.

[poetrysings]

once a decision was made, alexander nodded appreciatively to the bartender as they walked off to make their orders, an intriguing look plastered on his features. "you have good taste" he claimed. his tone not in surprise nor mocking, an acknowledged truth that was palpable; from her clothing to her perfume, ultimately the drink— every part of it screamed safiye in the most tasteful way possible. then, came a chuckle. "oh I have no doubt in my mind you could carry me to e.r, I would however not make it easy for you and who am I to ruin your dress with my drunk ass? and mentally and sometimes physically, I am fifty-seven so thank you" he jested, arching a brow challengingly, only for his gestures to turn into an amused chuckle at her next statement, raising his hands in defeat. "I haven't even set a foot in nyu in at least six months" he tried to defend himself as a humorous huff escaped his lips. "but— you do have a point, maybe you are making me a bit more reckless" something he had lost from his first years in new york and deep down, missed. at the next piece of information being thrown at him, alexander simply nodded, correcting himself. "sorry, that's on me. you told me you were a dancer and my brain just ran along with dance studio and pointee shoes, old habits. my mom was a ballet dancer" he explained with a chuckle. "how long have you been pole dancing? "

a tight black dress clasped the curves of safi's fit body, her staple leather jacket upon both shoulders in an alluring fit, one often capable of stealing eyes in a bar. " a negroni, please " delicate fingers waved for the barman, someone she knew for a few months, as most of the workers in brooklyn's night scene. " they have some nice snacks " safiye had a thing for buffalo wings. " you sound like someone in their fifties, alex, come on. there still plenty of time to have some fun, besides, i would definitely carry you over to the er " fingers crossed in a childish oath, as she would indeed help him if needed. " uhm, gonna skip fancy nyu for a crazy bar? see, i'm already making you reckless, our friendship is perfect " safi quipped. " it's not a studio, actually, i dance at a club… " dark eyes gleamed in malice, was he not fully aware? " normally with very little clothing and around a pole. men, and sometimes women, love throwing money at me.  "