#( it was that or him just going: ...me...meow? )

[navybrat817]

Orientation

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky meets his potential new roommate and is immediately smitten.

Word Count: Over 3k

Warnings: Love at first sight, bits of humor, fluff, tension, sweetness, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?)

A/N: Finally sharing Stud meeting Smartie for the first time. ❤️ Beta read by the wonderful @mumbles411 (and thank you for your help and cheering me on), but any and all mistakes are my own. Divided by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky let out a deep breath when he heard the knock at the door and looked at his watch before he went to answer it. Another potential roommate, right on time. He hadn’t initially wanted to rent out the extra room since he could’ve made it work with rent going up, but the budget would’ve been very tight and it was better not to risk it since he loved the place. It would’ve also been nice if Steve or Sam could’ve moved in, but they had their own spaces and the idea of sharing his space with a stranger wasn’t necessarily bad. He just hoped whoever ended up renting the space got along with Alpine.

“One sec!” he called out and bent down to pet his cat, the white fur soft against his calloused hand. “Try to be nice this time, okay?” he teased, reminding himself to keep his expectations low when she meowed. Alpine was a wonderful cat, but also particular with the company she kept and she chased off the last person who visited. He trusted her instincts and if she didn’t like someone then that was that.

“Here goes nothing,” he whispered, steeling himself before he opened the door.

And the world as he knew it ceased to exist.

You stood there with the sweetest smile he had ever seen and he thought his heart would beat right through his chest with how hard it pounded. The feeling only intensified when he looked into your eyes and forgot how to breathe, his stomach filled with so many butterflies that he thought he’d leave the ground. Then he felt like he was falling in slow motion before he came back to himself. It was like the world got a little brighter just because you were standing in front of him.

Is this love at first sight?

“Hi! Bucky, right?” you asked, and he knew then and there he could spend the rest of his life hearing you say his name.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he said, his voice husky. “And you must be…” He paused before he said your name, letting it settle on his tongue.

No, he couldn’t flirt with or hit on his potential roommate.

Or can I?

He heard the hitch in your breath before you nodded. “Yeah, that’s me,” you repeated, your voice soft and sugary sweet.

He wasn’t trying to stare like a creep, but he really didn’t expect to see someone so beautiful. So perfect. When you expressed interest in the room since it was close to the nearby university, he refused to look up your social media accounts. He wanted the first impression based on instinct and a face-to-face meeting and not by what was posted online. He hoped he made a good impression, too, especially since he had freshened up after work, wearing one of his many henleys and jeans.

“Would you like to come in?” he asked, stepping back to give you some room. He took up a lot of space with his size and didn’t want to crowd you.

You winced and didn’t move, making him pause, too. “Before I do that…” He raised an eyebrow when you held your phone up and dialed a number. “My friend wants to hear you say that I’m going to be perfectly safe here.”

Both eyebrows shot up. “She wants to hear me say…” He trailed off when he heard a voice on the other end.

“Hey! You at the apartment?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” you replied, biting your lip and drawing his eyes to your mouth.

Focus. Don’t think about kissing your potential roommate.

“Oh, good! Is he listening? Hey, what’s your name and what are your intentions with my friend?”

Bucky cleared his throat, unable to say what his intentions were deep down. “My name is Bucky Barnes and I’m looking for a roommate. She’ll be perfectly safe here whether she accepts or not,” he said, praying that Alpine liked you enough so you’d move in.

“I’m sorry,” you mouthed to him.

“It’s okay,” he mouthed back. He wasn’t at all offended. You never could tell with strangers and it was nice that you had someone looking out for you.

“She better be safe!” He tried not to laugh at your friend’s tone. It reminded him of Steve, caring and protective. “Is he hot? He sounds hot.”

“You’re on speaker,” you reminded her and Bucky tried to keep a neutral expression because, well, he wanted you to think he was hot. “And, yeah, he’s hot. He’s a real stud muffin. Or stud horse? I don’t know, he’s a stud,” you rambled, your eyes wide like you forgot he could hear you, too.

Silence filled the space between you and he took the opportunity to put his hand on the doorframe so you could see just how large he was. “I’m a stud?” he asked, a smile tugging at his lips. The compliment nearly had him preening like a peacock, and there was tension. No one could tell him otherwise.

Your mouth fell open and a sound came out, but nothing else.

“Ooh, he must be really hot if you’re just making noises,” your friend muttered as you stared past Bucky’s frame into the apartment, avoiding eye contact. That only made you look more endearing. “Call me when you leave so I know you’re still safe.”

“I will. Bye,” you said quickly, hanging up before your friend could say anything else. “Um…”

He tilted his head, not pushing for you to talk. He was more than content to look at you. Did you have any idea how enticing you were?

“About the stud comments, I… Well. Yeah. I mean… Look at you.” You gestured to him and finally looked his way again, making him smile all over again. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I just… say things and I feel like I just made this weird.”

“Hey, it’s fine. I appreciate the compliment,” he said easily when he was doing flips on the inside. “You didn’t make it weird,” he added. Not when he was the one staring at you like a creep.

“So, not a terrible first impression?” you asked and he hated how worried you looked.

“If anything, it’s a great impression,” he promised you, stepping aside again. He’d be thinking about that compliment and you long after you left.

“My friend wanted to come here with me so I wasn’t by myself, but I refused. The call was the next best thing,” you explained, finally stepping inside. God, you smelled sweet, too. “I appreciate you being cool with that.”

“No problem.” And he didn’t miss how quickly you changed the subject. Whatever you felt moments ago, if you felt something at all, you clearly didn’t want to dwell on it, and he didn’t want to make it uncomfortable by dragging it on. “Why do I have the feeling you’d do the same for her?”

“Oh, I would,” you said, gasping when you spotted Alpine. “Oh, my god. She’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, that’s Alpine,” Bucky said, holding his breath when you crouched down and held out a hand. You weren’t allergic to cats, he wouldn’t even entertain a potential roommate who was, so that was good. But what would she think of you?

“Hey, Alpine. I’m hopefully going to be your new roommate,” you said, waiting for her to approach. It made Bucky happy that you weren’t forcing her to go to you if she didn’t want to. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Alpine gave your hand a sniff and bumped it with her head before she surprised you both and put her paws on your chest. “I… I think she wants you to pick her up,” Bucky said in awe.

She isn’t chasing you off. She likes you. This is good. This is really good.

You picked her up without hesitation. “Oh, my goodness. I’m already in love,” you said when she purred and nuzzled close. Was it weird to be jealous of a cat? “You want to do the tour of your home with me?”

Alpine nuzzled deeper into your hold.

“She really likes you,” Bucky said, leading you to the living room and watching you as you looked around. “It’s not much.” It wasn’t the most lavish place, but it was nice, warm, and he had made it a home.

“I like her, too,” you said, smiling as you took everything in. “Are you kidding? This place is great!”

“Yeah?” he smiled, running his metal hand through his hair. He hadn’t noticed he used that hand until your eyes followed the movement. “Oh, yeah. This…” He put his arm out to show you and felt the need to somewhat explain it. “It’s a state of the art prosthetic, in case you were wondering.”

Losing his arm wasn’t a story he was ready to tell, not today anyway. For now, he just wanted you to see the place. And the prosthetic was something he wouldn’t have normally been able to afford, but he had been lucky and was able to be part of a test group of new prosthetics.

“I think it looks pretty badass.” There was no judgement in your eyes, only openness when you added, “And I’ll argue with anyone who says otherwise.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. Some people asked invasive questions or tried to touch it, but you put him at ease and there was something wonderful in the air between you because of it. “That means a lot,” he whispered, nodding to the space. “So, you like it so far?”

“I love it,” you answered, your eyes now on the bookshelf. “My kind of space right there.”

“Yeah? You like to read?” he asked. He had a decent collection of books.

“Oh, yeah. Probably how I ended up getting a scholarship since I usually had my face buried in them,” you teased.

“That’s right. Academic scholarship,” he said. You had mentioned in your email that you were on a scholarship and that’s why you were going to the university, but you didn’t want to live on campus. “Must be really smart.”

Smart and beautiful.

“Oh, no. No. I wouldn’t say that,” you said dismissively. That wouldn’t do.

“If you got an academic scholarship, you have to be somewhat smart. So just admit that you’re a little smartie and take the compliment,” he said, chuckling when you shook your head. “I’ll bet Alpine thinks you’re a smartie, too.”

Smartie? What the hell am I saying?

You smiled when Alpine meowed in agreement. “Okay, I’m a little smart in some areas,” you said, biting your lip again. Were you doing that on purpose? “Is that braggy? I don’t want it to sound braggy.”

“Not braggy,” he said. Adorable as hell, but not braggy.

“Thanks,” you whispered almost shyly.

Yep, you were adorable. “Kitchen?”

“Oh, yeah. The tour,” you said, following and gasping again. “This is perfect! And is that an old radio?”

He would’ve liked something bigger eventually, but the size was good and the appliances were in great condition. “Yeah, I listen to music here sometimes,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Is that going to be a problem?”

“Hey, it’s your space,” you said. It wouldn’t just be his space if you moved in. It would be yours, too. “And I like music.”

“You like pizza and movies, too?”

You stared at him like he suddenly had another head on his shoulder. “Of course, I like pizza and movies! I thought that was a prerequisite to even look at the place.”

He leaned against the counter and folded his arms with a grin. “Except I didn’t ask you about pizza and movies.”

“Touche,” you said, doing a small spin with Alpine still in your arms. Why did he suddenly want to dance with you in the kitchen? “So, you have a great living room, great kitchen. I’m going to guess the bedroom is amazing.”

He swallowed again, trying not to imagine you in his bed. “Yeah, this way.”

Bucky lifted his chin to indicate the direction of the extra bedroom. You immediately went toward it with Alpine still burrowed in your arms, leaving him a few steps behind. He took the opportunity to check you out, his eyes lingering on your ass. You were going to test his resolve if you decided to move in.

You went into the open doorway since the door across from it was closed, your jaw dropping when you looked back at him. “Wow, this is huge!”

Not the only huge thing in this place.

He barely managed to keep that thought to himself. “So, you like it?” he asked. He thought about turning it into an office or workout area or something, but there was no need.

“Yes! I can have my bed here, and put my desk there,” you said, pointing toward the corner. “I could even put a bed in for Alpine if she wanted to sleep in here,” you offered.

“That’s nice of you,” he said. It was very thoughtful.

“Well, it’s her space, too,” you said, nuzzling her before you set her down.

He nodded toward the closed door nearby. “Bathroom is right across the hall, and you won’t have to worry about sharing since my room has an en-suite attached,” he explained. He wasn’t sure how comfortable you would’ve been if you were forced to shower in his bathroom.

“I’ll have my own bathroom, too?” you asked, brushing past him so you could take a quick look inside. It took all of his strength not to push you against the wall and kiss you, which would’ve probably earned him a slap and a call to your friend. “How has no one snatched this place up yet?”

“Al hasn’t been a big fan of anyone, except for you,” he said honestly, looking you over once more.

“I’m honored that she likes me,” you said before you turned to face him, a wide smile lighting up your face. “How soon can I move in?”

He smiled back. “You want to move in?” he asked, those butterflies in his stomach again when you glanced at your feet.

“Only if you want me, too. Oh, yeah, and…” You dug into your purse and pulled out a small notebook, quickly flipping through the pages. “This is the rent price, right? And the estimated amount for the bills? Because I can give you a first and last month if I need to sign an updated lease.”

He looked over the page. Your notes were meticulous. “That’s the right price,” he confirmed, snapping his fingers. “I forgot if I mentioned it in the posting, but I didn’t even show you the washer and dryer. You don’t have to worry about going to a laundromat since I have them here.”

You put the notebook away and pinched yourself. “Nope. Not dreaming,” you said, your smile faltering a little. “But do you really want me living here? I’m boring.”

“I’ve known you for a very short time and I can tell you that you’re not boring,” he said. His life felt more exciting since you showed up today. “And I’m a mechanic, so I’m not exactly living the most exciting life.”

Bucky was proud to be a mechanic, but it was far from glamorous.

“Being a mechanic sounds pretty awesome.” You crossed your arms. “I do puzzles for fun.”

“Sounds like a great Saturday night,” he said without a hint of sarcasm, making you smile again.

“And to be clear, I won’t be bringing guys back here at 3am,” you promised, scrunching your nose. “I don’t know why I felt the need to say that.”

You mentioned in your initial contact that you weren’t seeing anyone, but he felt extra relieved that you didn’t want to bring guys here. “I won’t be bringing guys here at 3am either.”

The giggle you let out warmed his heart. “So, we’re doing this? You really want me to move in?” you asked hopefully. “Because I really will be a great roommate. I’ll clean, cook, and-”

“I want you to move in,” he assured you. He didn’t want anyone else there. “What do you think, Al?”

The feline brushed against your leg with a happy meow, giving you her approval all over again.

You bounced in place and he thought for a second you’d throw your arms around in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Thank you,” he said. You were doing him a huge favor by moving in. “And just to be clear, you’re comfortable living here with me being a guy?”

Bucky had never been more attracted to anyone as quickly as he was to you, but he wasn’t going to disrespect or make you uncomfortable in what would be your new home.

“You promised I’d be perfectly safe here,” you reminded him. He did say that. “And…” The soft smile on your face was an image he wanted engraved in his mind. “I have a good feeling about you.”

He was going to fall head over heels if he wasn’t careful. Who was he kidding? It was too late. “I have a good feeling about you, too,” he said, gazing into your eyes with a soft smile of his own. “And I can’t wait for you to move in.”

God, Steve is going to come over and demand to meet my new roommate. He better not flirt or lay on his golden boy charm.

“Could you excuse me for just a second?” you asked, slipping back into the bedroom. He poked his head in and watched as you did a little jig. It was the sweetest thing he had ever seen. “If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a huge dork.”

“You’re far from that,” he said, leaning on the doorframe. You were perfect in his eyes.

“I just…” You turned a blinding smile his way. “I feel like I hit the jackpot!”

I’m the one who hit the jackpot.

And we know how the story goes for these two (so far). 🥰 Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[serenity-loves-red]

IT STARTED WITH THE CAT DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM

Cat distribution system featuring Phainon.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. (Current)

In which• The Deliverer of Amphoreus is suddenly transported to your home as a cat.

“Blue? Food’s ready!” You called from the kitchen.

Silence. Then you looked up to check the time. 8:03 am was printed boldly in red in your digital clock, ticking as seconds passed by.

Blue should’ve been back by now, you thought.

Unlike most cats you’ve seen online, your cat is quite active. He likes to explore things, from the cornerest (is this even a word?) corner of your house to the farthest place he could go in your neighborhood without getting lost or stolen. He is, after all, is quite expensive and cute.

His mini adventures started when you brought him outside. You can’t just let him stay in your house alone after all. You’re worried he might destroy something after being alone, get hungry or something may just happen.

So you just ended up carrying him with you.

Imagine seeing a fluffy cat with big blue eyes turning his little head back in forth, meowing as if talking to you and pawing your chest excitedly. Cuteness aggression it is.

It wasn’t even a long errand but after seeing him excited, you decided to give him a tour around.

It wasn’t hard to notice that he may seem to understand you. You already have an inkling that your cat is different. I mean he meows at you with this kind of tone similar to people during conversation. It’s like if you didn’t know any better, it sounded like a full blown conversation but just between a human and a cat.

“This is the store I prefer to buy the groceries from. Remember your tunas? They have it here at a cheaper price.”

“Meoww? Meooooww!”

“And see that place over there? That’s our house, it’s a plus too since both places are near.”

“Meow!!”

Thus, it was where everything started. Mr. Blue Balls will sneakily go outside from the window of your room to explore.

Oh he may look fat but it’s all fluff honey.

You even thought that he was kidnapped when you woke up early. You were so ready to call child service, paw patrol or anything just before you saw him sneakily trying to fit his body in a gap in your window you don’t remember having and ended up getting stuck.

So you gave him an earful.

“Do you know where did you go wrong?”

“Meow..”

“Louder! You can understand me right? Give me one meow for yes.”

“MEow!”

Did you sound crazy? Yes. But it did help you realize that your suspicions aren’t just a just.

Damn, your cat can understand you.

You’re not scared, if anything, you’re more excited to have an emotional support buddy that can talk with you. It’s like an upgrade pro version of a pet cat!

So with all of that, you just learned to start treating him not just a cat. It was like having a feline roommate with a human intelligence.

You talk. He meows.

So when you called him again for breakfast, you really started to get worried when there wasn’t any reply. You hurriedly tidied the kitchen, placed the foods at the table before going out to look for him.

“Mr. Blue Balls?! Where have you been?”

Just after you opened your front door. There stood your missing cat, his fluffy coat had been dirtied with a fluffy pomeranian dog trailing behind him.

“Meow!!” *smug smile, tail upright*

“Woof.”

Funny to think you thought the dog said:

”Mr blue balls huh? Nice name you got there deliverer.”

Note: You ask, i deliver. I’m starting to think if i should turn this into a series? Or maybe it is alreadyyy?!! 😝😝😝😝

Also cross posted in AO3 under same username!

[rafebesitos]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✮

"the fuck are you cryin' for?" rafe murmurs hoarsely, under his breath. he rubs his eyes, supporting his body on his elbow, he looks over his shoulder to find you laying next to him, meowing like a kitty. your pearl eyes shining with tears, your red and plumpy lips open and letting out your sobs. "what? what's wrong now?" he grunts.

"ray..." you whisper, sniffing and crying like a cry baby. rafe rolls his eyes, annoyed. he shifts and turns his body to you, rafe looks you up and down, noticing your hand under your white panties. he can't see, but he knows your fingers are curling themselves inside your cunt.

"you seriously wake me, 'case you can't fuck yourself properly?" rafe asks, grumpy. even though a damn smirk is growing in the corner of his lips.

"can't do it without you." you babble, shifting to get closer. rafe holds your chin, brushing his nose to yours, his other hand playing with the hem of your night dress. "rafey, please..."

"nah, you're doin' good. keep goin'." rafe says. his hand now rubbing your stomach, squeezing your skin between his fingers. you're going insane, your fingers aren't enough, because your so greedy that you need more and more from rafe. "keep rubbin' like that, wanna see you cum."

"ray... need — you." you cry between your soft moans, rafe's enjoying himself.

"wanted to use your own fingers, now you finish." rafe groans. you frown the eyebrows and close your eyes, eyelashes resting on the flushed cheeks, trying to imagine rafe fingers are fuckin' you, even though is not working. you blink your eyes at rafe, getting closer to connect your lips, rafe depart the contact, smirking. "wanna kiss me? need ma' kiss to make you cum'?"

"uh-uh" you murmur, nodding your head. rafe connects your lips, kissing you clumsy and sloppy, making a mess of saliva in your mouth. you take deep breaths between the kiss, your hips jerking crazily, your moans interrupting the contact. rafe depart, a trail of saliva connect your lips. he's not nice every time, but watching you taking a hard time to make yourself cum, he decides to help.

rafe trails his hand until your panties, his fingers getting inside it. he doesn't push his fingers inside of your hole, he just puts his hand above yours and starts to make movements of in and out, guiding your own fingers to fuck your little pussy properly. it's not the same thing, but is helping, you open your legs a little, your other hand squeezing his biceps, your short nails making scratchs on his skin. you connect your lips again, kissing rafe hungrily, he speeds the movements and a familiar knot grows in your stomach. didn't take too much after rafe make his little show, his other hand squeeze the inside of your thighs. your moans are getting loud, rafe shut them with his lips. your back raising, your sponge walls clenching around your fingers and you couldn't hold a loud and deep moan rafe's name. he keeps the movements por a little, just to prolong your pleasure, your painting and crying, tears all over your cheeks. rafe smile in proudness.

he pulls your hand, facing your tearing eyes, flushed cheeks and plump lips. you look like an angel, a fallen one. he smirks and puts your middle fingers inside his mouth, tongue twirling around them, tasting your cum. sweet like you. your sponge walls are clenching again, this time around nothing. rafe pushes your hand away and turns his back to you, laying on his stomach, turning back to his sleep state. you lay on your back and huffs, legs still shaking, but you bite your lower lip and lift you body, climbing on rafe's back. he doesn't move, you weight like nothing, you lean to kiss his cheek.

"thanks, ray." you smile. rafe huffs and raise his back, making you fall in bed. but you don't mind, you just lay down and cover your body, hugging rafe's back, even though you know he doesn't like it.

"yeah, yeah. now shut up and lemme' sleep." rafe mutters. "better not wake me again, kitty."

[hoondrop]

meow hii sweet pookie wookie dookie ray of sunshine 😘 i hope you’re doing well… and taking care of yourself of course! i really enjoy your writingssss 😘

also could you write about jay with size kink and he has a big dihh and he just… makes you.. take it 🤤 i’ve been seeing that one video of his forearms and it’s so thick. imagine him wrapping his arms around your neck while he fucks you. MEOWWWWWW 👅

a/n: hi sweetums pootums 🫶🏻 I am doing well and enjoying the rainy weather (hopefully the power doesn't go out. in my country. 5 drops of rain = 3 hrs of power outage :"). thank you so much for enjoying my writings and making me smile with your words mwaah. hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself too anon 🫶🏻

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Jay murmurs against your ear, voice like velvet and sin, hips already grinding his thick cock against your folds, teasing your entrance. “You’ve taken it before.”

You’re on your back, thighs trembling, lips parted around your moans—and he’s barely in. Just the tip, stretching you wide, your body already clenching around him like you’re starving for it.

Jay’s arms snake around your neck from behind—tight, firm, protective. His massive biceps flex against your throat, locking you in place, chest pressed to your back, cock buried halfway.

You whimper. The sweet sound making him let out a guttural groan.

“You like that, baby?” he breathes, kissing your temple, his arms snug like a collar. “My big arms keeping you right here while I fuck you full.”

You nod frantically, gasping, *“Yes—please, I love it—love your arms, love your cock—”*

“Good girl,” he growls, hips snapping forward as he slides in deeper—inch by thick, veiny inch. “That’s my girl. You’re doing so well—stretching around all this like you were made for me.”

His tone is sweet, but his pace is brutal. Sharp, deep thrusts that punch gasps out of your lungs, his cock pressing so deep you see stars.

You squirm, and his arms flex tighter around your neck—not choking, just holding, grounding you with the weight of his strength.

“You take it so pretty,” he huffs, kissing your cheek. “So good for me. Fuck, I love watching you fall apart on my cock.”

You sob out his name, back arching, his muscles locking you in place, his cock so deep it feels like it’s in your stomach.

“Shh,” he coos. “I know, sweetheart. I know it’s big. But you’re so perfect, you make it fit.”

He presses a kiss to your hair as he thrusts once more; hard, slow, deep—and you fall apart in his arms, moaning his name like a prayer.

“Good girl. My sweet, messy baby. You took every inch for me.”

His arms don’t let go. Not yet.

“I’m not done loving you.”

[sweetromanova]

Claw & Order: Part Four (The Final)🐾

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Natasha Romanoff is being accused of grand theft feline. The evidence? A very smug tabby. The problem? She kinda loves him now.

Chapter Four (The Final)

The compound was quiet when you arrived, you almost felt embarrassed considering the last time you were here, you may have been acting a little insane. But before you had time to dwell, something caught your eye just outside of the automatic doors: a small black collar lying abandoned on the cracked sidewalk, its tiny bell silent. You knelt down, heart tightening.

“Milo’s collar.” You whispered. “I put it back on him after he’d been with you.”

Natasha crouched beside you, scanning the street. “Looks like he made an appearance here recently.”

You clutched the collar like a lifeline, voice trembling. “This means he’s close… he has to be.”

Inside, the mood shifted. You fell into the sofa and finally let the walls fall down, tears spilling over as the weight of everything, lost job, the crappy apartment, the loneliness hit you all at once. Your sobs echoed through the compound’s living room. Natasha stood frozen, awkwardly clutching a can opener from the kitchen like it was a weapon.

She finally muttered. “Shall I… pat your back now?”

You let out a choking laugh mixed with tears. “Yes! Pat my back! Stroke my hair! Do something! Stop watching me cry like a weirdo!”

Natasha gave you the faintest smile, crouching beside you and awkwardly draping an arm over your shaking shoulders. “I’m better at missions, not feelings, but… I’m here.”

You hiccuped. “Thank you.”

And then, just as you thought the night couldn’t get stranger, Yelena appeared from the hallway, slumping downs and throwing her feet casually on the coffee table, munching dried mango slices.

“Oh hey!” She said cheerfully, ignoring your presence completely.

“Yelena, what are you doing here?”

“Is it illegal to come see my sister?” Yelena mock-gasps. “Although looks like you have a lot going on right now.”

“I- Yes- Well-“ How could she explain away your sobbing without bringing up Milo and making you cry more?!

“I think I will go hang with Wanda, this looks way too messy and emotional for me to even be near.” She cackles, turning around and starting to head out. “Oh wait, I got you something.”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “What now?”

“Pss, pss, pss.”

“What are you doing?!”

“Here, kitty kitty.” Yelena whispered, getting up and leading a very familiar black cat out of the bedroom. “I got you a friend so you can stop whatever weird hobby is going on right now-“ Yelena stood, revealing Milo, who blinked lazily from her arms.

“Milo?!” “Liho?!

You and Natasha gasped together.

“Cool! You know him?” Yelena shrugged. “He snuck into my truck, climbed into my duffel bag. Found him snoozing next to Fanny during the mission.”

“You STOLE the cat?” Natasha barked, aghast.

“She really is your sister.” You deadpanned, feeling the relief drain from your shoulders as Milo climbed lazily into your arms.

“I borrowed him.” Yelena replied with a smirk. “He likes me better.”

“He’s MINE!” You declared, clutching him tight as he rubbed his face against your neck like a tiny, smug criminal.

“Congratulations. He’s now a freelance operative.” Yelena said dryly.

You groaned, tears filling your eyes all over again. “My cat is an international criminal.”

Natasha shook her head, half amused, half horrified. “You took my non-cat on a covert op?”

Yelena grinned. “He clawed a diplomat. Very effective.”

Milo meowed, smug as hell and rubbed his head against your neck like he hadn’t just gone AWOL with yet another trained assassin.

You sighed. “You gave my cat trauma.”

“He sat in the front seat and ate jerky.” Yelena said dryly. “I think he gave me trauma.”

“Ok, ok.” Natasha intervened. “Yelena, please go bother someone else before you do anymore damage.”

“Whatever, I’m more of a dog person anyway.”

Natasha waited until she was gone before turning to you and checking the lazy animal over in your arms. “He’s okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“She’s- that’s- Yelena is my sister and honestly we’re still trying to work out how to describe her. She’s-“

“Yeah, I got that. Did she really take my cat on a mission?”

“Yeah, she did.” Natasha sighed. “I’m sorry about everything, this has been a long day.”

“Yeah.” You agreed softly. “It has.”

Your hand gently scratched under Milo’s chin as he purred contentedly against your chest, utterly unbothered by the emotional damage he’d caused. “Well… I should probably get going now that he’s back.”

Natasha looked at you for a long moment. “You could stay.”

You blinked. “What?”

“Just for a bit. There’s a couch. I can make popcorn. He already thinks he lives here half of the time anyway.” She gave a small shrug. “Besides, if you cry again, I’d rather it be near government medical personnel.”

You cracked a smile. “Wow. So warm. So inviting.”

Natasha smirked faintly. “I’m practicing.”

A little while later, you found yourself curled up on the couch in borrowed sweatpants, a too-large SHIELD hoodie and a bowl of popcorn on your lap. Milo was already stretched across the cushions like he paid rent. Natasha had put on some old action movie but neither of you were really watching, just quietly enjoying the warmth, the stillness, the surprising comfort of being exactly where you were.

You glanced over at her, nervous. “So… you can still visit him, if you want? I can bring him over, if you’d like that is.”

Natasha looked at you with a soft and grateful look. “Yeah I would like that.”

She hesitated, for a second then with a crooked little smile: “Does that include you?”

Your brow lifted, playful now. “Are you asking if I come with the cat?”

She gave you a mock casual shrug. “Well, I mean… if you're part of the enrichment package, I’m not complaining.”

You laughed and leaned just a little closer. “That’s a dangerous offer.”

Your heart stuttered, breath catching slightly as her hand brushed yours. You leaned in too, just enough that you felt the spark, the moment heavy with possibility-

And then the door swung open.

Yelena strolled in, looking mildly annoyed and holding something behind her back.

“Wanda told me I should apologise.” She said flatly, like the word physically hurt her. She nudged a small bag toward you with the tip of her boot. “So… here.”

You stared then opened it.

Inside is a tiny black tactical vest, for a cat.

There were little slots for treats. A stitched patch that read ‘Meowgical Ops.’ And another that said ‘Property of No One.’

You looked up slowly. “You made him a spy vest?”

Yelena shrugged. “He earned it. Very bitey. Good instincts.”

Natasha groaned and facepalmed. “I can’t believe my sister drafted a cat.”

Liho meowed proudly, already trying to climb into the vest.

You held up the tiny thing in awe. “…This could have turned out to be the best day of my life.”

⋆⋆⋆⋆

You were still holding the tiny black tactical vest like it might explode.

Milo or Liho, smug, purring and somehow not remotely apologetic had already begun trying to roll into it, like he knew what it meant. Like he knew he was now not just a cat but a weaponised asset.

“He’s not going on any more missions.” You said, flatly. “He barely understands the concept of stairs.”

“He understands betrayal just fine.” Natasha muttered. “He licked Yelena’s face. I saw it.”

Yelena, leaning against the doorframe with a crooked smile like this was a sitcom, piped up brightly, “That’s called affection, Tasha. You should try it sometime.”

Natasha didn’t even turn around. “Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, sorry. Agent Grumpanova. My bad.”

You covered a snort with your hand.

Yelena zeroed in on it instantly. “Oh! She laughs now? Wow. Look at you, laughing and smiling. I go on one mission with your cat and suddenly we’re best friends. Kinda makes you think.”

Natasha side-eyed you. “Don’t encourage her.”

Yelena smirked. “I’m just saying. If she wanted to stay here longer… hang out… decompress… maybe get her emotional support feline debriefed-“

“She’s not staying because of you and she’s not going to any debriefs.” Natasha snapped. “She’s staying because I invited her to… I want her too.”

You blinked. “You really want me to stay? After everything?”

Natasha gave you a small shrug, clearly trying not to seem invested. “Well. You needed somewhere warm and emotionally stable.”

“And you brought her here?” Yelena said, completely scandalised.

“Are you done?”

“Me? Never. I want to witness whatever tragic thing is going on here.”

Natasha finally turned to her. “Tragic? If you don’t leave, the only thing you’re going to be witnessing is my tongue down her throat.”

You choked on your own saliva.

Yelena froze mid-step. “…You’re bluffing.”

Natasha raised one brow. “Try me.”

Yelena’s eyes went wide. She looked between the two of you like you’d grown matching horns. “You’re serious. You’re- ugh, no, I’m not emotionally equipped for this-“

She lunged for Liho, who was now comfortably nested on your lap, eyes narrowed in judgment at everyone.

“C’mon, tiny comrade.” Yelena muttered, scooping him up. “We don’t need to witness this. You’ve seen enough.”

“He literally attacked a diplomat.” Natasha called after her. “He’s seen worse.”

“He was defending democracy!” Yelena shouted from down the hallway.

And then, mercifully, she was gone.

Silence stretched in the room, just the soft whir of the heater and your heartbeat banging in your ears.

Natasha glanced sideways at you. “You okay?”

You blinked. “You threatened your sister with our hypothetical make out session.”

“I told you I was good with threats.”

You swallowed, pulse still fluttering. “Was it… really hypothetical?”

Her eyes flicked to your lips then back up, slow, deliberate. “Do you want it to be?”

Your heart stuttered in your chest. You didn’t say anything but you didn’t have to.

Natasha took one quiet step closer. Her hand came up, fingers brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear, knuckles grazing your cheek.

Then, softly, just above a whisper: “We can circle back.”

“Circle back? CIRCLE BACK?! What is this, a corporate email? I have spent the whole day stress crying about my cat, sobbing over tuna and catnip and you just want to schedule feelings-“

And then she kissed you.

To shut you up? Probably.

Did it matter? Absolutely not.

It wasn’t tentative, it never was with Natasha. It was steady, sure, like she’d already decided this was happening and all you had to do was meet her there.

You did. Absolutely, completely.

Somewhere down the hall, Yelena made a noise of disgust and dramatically slammed a door.

Neither of you stopped.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Nightlife 23

Warnings: dubcon, noncon, touching, coercion, manipulation, violence. Proceed with caution.

Note: I know what you’re thinking, why the fuck are you doing this? Well, you wanted bouncer Lee and I did too. Also, short!reader, not sorry.

Part of The Club AU

Hickory’s little mewls fill the car. You’re restless as you reach back between the seats and try to comfort him. You have him in a carrier, secured with the seat belt to keep him safe. Lee’s unbothered as he steers down the old country roads. 

“Is it very far?” You ask. You’ve been in the car for two hours already. An hour to get the dress, then another hour to get all the way out here. 

“Should get there ‘round evenin’,” he answers. “You know, it’s a far way up. Mama don’t like the city and such.” 

“Oh. Okay,” you accept. 

“Why don’t ya sit straight? You’re gon’ get hurt fussing over the cat. He’ll tire himself out,” he tuts. 

“Sorry, sir—honey, it’s only... he’s scared.” 

“He’s a baby, I know, but he fed and he safe,” he argues as he turns along a curving road. “What about you? You scared?” 

“Scared?” 

“Sure. You’re gon’ meet the family. It’s a big deal,” he drawls. “Mm, honey, you wanna get me a snack. My stomach’s growlin’.” 

You nod and reach down to the insulated bag you packed. All the time you did, he hovered and praised you. Said you’re so smart thinking of the things he doesn’t. 

“Sure,” you pull out some apple slices. He shoves his fingers into the container and gnoshes into one. “Nervous, maybe.” 

“Oh, but ma will like a girl like you. Sweet, demure.” He gulps thickly. “You know, my brothers’ wives. They’re like a pack of hissing cats. Not like Hick, ya know? They just can’t help but yawl.” 

You hum. You don’t know what to say to that. Best to say nothing at all. That’s what your dad would tell you. 

“We can go out and explore. You’ll like them trees and stuff. There’s a whole mess of flowers down across the ravine. Wild ones with bright colours.” He explains. “We’ll go and get some privacy when we can.” 

You flick your thumbs against the container. He reaches for another slice. He hovers it just before his lips. 

“You wanna open that thermos. I need some coffee in me,” he growls. “Since I can’t get in you.” 

He chortles and bits down on the apple. You balance the container on your lap and reach for the metal thermos. You hope he doesn’t talk like that in front of everyone else. They’ll already be judging you. An outsider. 

💮

Your head lolls against the seat as the tires mulch over the dirt. The car jostles with the uneven ridges in the road, tire tracks grown over with crushed grass and littered in twigs. You hide a yawn and squint into the dim, the canopy above dampens the last light of day. 

Lee frightens you as he reaches over to slap your knee. He squeezes until your jerk. You squeak and put your hand on his. 

“Just about here, blossom,” he purrs. “I’m excited. How ‘bout you?” 

“Oh, yes,” you lie. You’re terrified. 

He slows as he turns the wheels, hooking around a patch of sentinels. The shadow of other vehicles crowd outside the two-storey house at the back of the clearing. The windows are lit from within as a few figures mill around the long porch. Your insides flip. 

“Must be waitin’ on us,” Lee says. 

Hickory meows loudly from the back. You peek back but can’t see him. The car rolls to a stop and Lee cranks it loudly into park. He seat belt snaps back as he sits forward. 

“I’ll get ‘im, you just worry ‘bout yourself,” he girds. 

You nod and undo your belt. You open the door, the creak cutting through the buzz of mosquitoes and crickets. You stand as Lee hauls himself out, lurching the car with him, and swings open the back door. He grunts as he bends through the door to untangle the carrier. 

He shuts the door and whistles at you, “come on.” 

You drag your feet through the dirt and he grabs your hand. He squeezes hard. You swallow a whimper as he marches you to the porch. 

“’Bout time, Leslie,” A male voice scrapes through the din, a puff of smoke wafting from beside a flickering lantern. 

“Pa,” Lee sniffs. “Bit of a drive.” 

“Cause you up there in the city,” the man, his father, rasps. “You brought the unlucky lady.” 

Lee clucks. “My wife, yeah.” 

“Wife. Sweetness, lemme tell ya now, run,” the man chortles into a shaking rasp. He spits onto the wood. “Carlton, go let your ma know.” 

“Yes, pa,” the man leaning on the railing stands straight, “nice to meet ya, miss.” 

“My brother, Carlton,” Lee supplies as he puts the carrier down. Hickory’s mews are lost in the thrum of the night. “My pa, Eustace.” He introduces you in turn as his brother disappears inside. 

“Call me U, fits me fine,” his father taps his burning pipe on the ash tray. “Better go in and meet the rest. God speed.” 

“Nice to meet you, sir,” you eke out. 

“Mm, nice right now,” he scoffs. 

Lee tugs you toward the door. “We’ll bring Hick in later,” he whispers. “Be crowded inside.” 

You nod and let him take you inside. You stop and lift your foot, reaching for the strap of your shoe. He tuts. 

“No matter, up here, shoes on,” he says. “No use dragging it out.” 

He moves you ahead of him, nudging you down the hall towards a door glowing with light as voices drone within. You stop in the wide archway of the large dining room, the table near full. 

The people sat in the wooden chairs don’t seem to notice you. Lee clears his throat. Not once, twice, but three times. He steps up and crosses his arms. 

“Hello,” he barks. 

Two of the women look at him and cackle as one of the men glances over. He stands and knocks on the table. “Y’all, baby brother is here.” 

The rest quiet and peer over. You’re breathless as you stare back. The man who spoke smirks. 

“Hey, hon, you don’t gotta be scared of us. What’s my brother been tellin’ ya now?” 

You blink. Lee rubs your shoulder. 

“Don’t let Reg scare ya,” he girds. “Brother, she’s just a bit shy.” 

“Well, then, she ought to get to know everyone, huh? Bout time you brought her ‘round.” Reg puts his hand on the back of the woman’s chair nearest him. “This is Lorna, my wife. And there’s second oldest, Donny and his wife Suzy’s down the other end of the table.” He points between the most slender man and a woman doing her best to ignore everything and everyone for her glass. 

“Then there’s the third one Carlton, he came rushin’ in and must be in with ma,” he shrugs. “His wife, or second one, Eulla, she’s just her on my other side. Then there’s Jessa, closer to your age than any of us.” He snorts and looks Lee up and down, “she with Harold, the fourth one, sat there with his belly to his knees.” 

“Eh,” the rotund man sneers. “Speak for yourself.” 

There’s a chuckle around the table. “Course you know Leslie, ain’t ya?” 

“Lee,” the man beside you growls. “Well, you met ‘em. Can’t keep ma waitin’.” 

“Oh, baby boy loves his mama,” Donny snickers. 

Lee grumbles and grabs your wrist. He drags you further down to the next doorway. You hear a pan on a burner and smell pork. 

“Ma,” Lee pushes you in before him. “Sorry it took us so long.” 

“Sorry? Shoulda left earlier,” she hohums, keeping her back to you. “Your brother said you was here.” 

“Ma, really--” 

“You told me last week you was comin’ with a lady. I been patient, now I’m not,” she turns to scowl at him. Her eyes are just as blue as his though her hair has faded to an orangey brown with shocks of white. “You just can’t seem to get far enough from us, huh?” 

“Ma, you know that’s not it.” 

“How do I know?” She pouts and her eyes glisten. “You know I miss you so much, Les.” 

He sighs. “Ma, I miss ya too.” He puts his arm around you. “But I really wanted to wait til she was ready ya know.” 

“Ready?” She looks at you. “Oh, she’s a youngin. Look at that.” She steps up to you. “Wow, and she’s perty. Look at them cheeks.” She pinches your cheeks as she praises them. “Les.” 

“Lee, ma. You know I like Lee.” 

“Sure, boy,” she tuts and pets your hair. “She’s one of them city folk. I can see it the way she puts her hair and such. Well, girlie, we gon’ give you a proper country wedding. You’re marryin’ a gentleman, you better be a lady then.” 

“Um, nice to meet you, ma’am.” 

“Mary Joy,” she corrects you. “No ma’am or madames here.” 

“Sorry, uh, Mary Joy.” 

“Mm, she so polite,” she smiles at Lee. “But this...” she touches your collar. “Let’s get ya a nice dress then. You got the figure for it.” 

You nod, helpless to her will. Just as with her son. You’re too deep in now. You can only hope not to drown in the flood. 

[kaltain-1]

Two Kitty Cats

@narrow-suze here😭😭😭😭 Also autocorrect keeper making Idia’s name India😭

warnings: bad writing, possibly OOC, Grim’s here, arson, more arson, Ortho has a thing for arson.

Word Count: 1339

  You weren’t sure what you were even expecting to happen. But not this. Sure it might have been a given that paring Grim and Ace together would go wrong… and yet you were still surprised. Sure Idia was there for a joint class thing. So was Ortho, which all ended in disaster. But hey, at least you get to take care of two cats! Sure one of them has a panic attack every second and you're pretty sure the other is thinking of arson. But cats!

   “I can take care of them,” you said. You were holding the cat carrier he gave you as tight as you could. The two Norwegian Forest cats moved around a lot. Which is to be expected. They were just turned into cats. Cute cats, but cats nonetheless.

   “Fanatics! You and Grim can have the rest of the school day off in order to take care of these two poor unfortunate souls.” The dark green haired man said, dramatically putting his legs on his desk. 

  “Okay, thank you sir,” you bowed before leaving his office. “Come on Grim, we have babysitting duty.”

   “We get to skip!” Grim climbed your body and sat on your shoulder, “does that mean I get tuna early?"

   “Hehe, I guess it does.” You pat his head. Sure he was in trouble. He was a part of the problem that caused Idia and Ortho to turn into cats but he was cute! “Do you mind helping me take care of them? If you do then you get extra tuna.”

   “Extra tuna?” Grim almost fell off your shoulders, “yes, of course! Tuna, tuna,” then he chanted tuna all the way back to Ramshackle. 

   “Okay, you two can come out now,” you put the carrier on the ground. Ortho immediately jumped out.

   “Mrooow,” the blue colored cat attempted to speak. 

   “Grim, what is he saying?” You ask your companion. 

   “Me? Why would I know?” The cat(?) in question, looked at you stunned. 

    “Don’t you fight with Lucius all the time?” You ask, smiling smugly. Ortho just glanced between you two. He most likely had arson on his mind.

   “Okay…” the (not) cat said, his flaming ears lowered. “Do it for the tuna.” He whispered to himself. 

   “Meow,” Ortho muttered, going to your legs. What you thought he’s going to do was rub against your legs. That was not in fact what he did. What he did was bite down on your pants and dragged you towards the carrier.

  “He says that Idia still has the potion left on em myaa,” Grim laughed, seeing you struggle to get the small flaming cat off of you.

   “Gee,” you said in a deadpan tone. “Thanks for the help.”

   Slowly you bend down to the carrier. There in all of his glory was Idia in the back trying to make himself smaller, and sure enough he was still covered in the potion. “Aw Idia,” you said, reaching to get him. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you a bath.”

   That was your mistake. As soon as you mentioned giving him a bath he turned pink. Not a ‘Oo pastel’ pink. A ‘OMG bright neon’ pink.

   “Wow Idia!” You panicked as the larger cat bolted out and went under the couch. “Idia, come out pspspsps.”

   No replies, which is expected because well… HE'S LITERALLY A CAT AT THE MOMENT. “Well… Ortho,” the cat in question looked up at you with his big bright eyes of fire. “May you please get your brother?” You ask, bending down to pet him. He actually purred and nudged your hand happily before going under the couch.

   There was a startled yelp. Then the sound of nails on wood. Then you could hear Idia meowing like a storm. “Grim, what is he saying?” You asked.

  Grim narrowed his eyes, “his sayin’ something about missing a gacha pull for a limited time character, how Ortho should just em there, also how he doesn’t want you to bathe him, and how this is just like an anime he watched.” 

  “Wow… that’s a lot,” you cringe, taking the blanket from the top of the couch to brace yourself for when they come out. 

  When they do… oh you were not prepared. Ortho was bright red and had Idia by the scruff pulling him out. Despite the fact that Idia was twice his size. A… friendly reminder not to mess with Ortho. 

  As quickly as possible you wrapped Idia up in the blanket. “Thanks, Ortho!” You said, holding the other cat tightly to your chest. “Let’s take him up to the bath.” 

   The two other felines followed behind you as you made your way to the second floor. Idia fought with you the whole way there. 

   That was till you got him to the bathroom and put him in the tub. Said tub he couldn’t escape from. So he was uselessly clawing at the tub trying to get out. “Calm down, Idia.”

    You get on your knees, slowly petting down his back. Idia froze instantly, from the look in his eyes it seemed like he was questioning his entire life choices. Fair you thought. You would also be questioning your entire life choices if you were turned into a cat. But a purr soon emerged and you smiled.

   Slowly you turned on the water, “Grim, may you get me a towel from our bedroom?” 

   “Ehh?” While you weren’t looking at him, he was obviously going to decline. “Tuna.” Was all he muttered before going to retrieve a towel.

    “Thanks Grim!” You shouted, Idia braced for a moment before sinking back into the water that was filling up. 

  Ortho leapt onto your back as you got to work. Pausing every once in a while to pet him. Idia became well behaved after a while. Though it’s clear he was still shaken. Again you couldn’t blame him BECAUSE HE WAS TURNED INTO A LITERAL CAT. 

  “Back with the towel and tuna,” Grim said, entering the bathroom.

   “Tuna? I didn’t ask for tuna?” You said, confused. Idia meowed in confusion as well when you stopped petting him. 

    “No,” Grim said. “Tunas for me,” he said in such a serious voice you just couldn’t help but laugh.

    ……………………….…………………………………

   Later on after Idia’s bath the four of you were sitting on the couch. Watching an anime he introduced you two to. Some plot of a Kpop girl group secretly being demon hunters. 

   Grim was slowly falling asleep, belly full with tuna. Ortho was staring wide eyed at you. Probably thinking of arson. Idia was wrapped in the towel and on your lap as you pet him.

   “How are you feeling, Idia?” You ask him.

   The cat in question looked up at you, “meow.” Was all he said. 

   “I’m sorry you and your brother got turned into cats.”

   “Meow.”

   “At least you’re a cute cat.”

   “Meow!”

   “Sorry,” you laughed, moving to lay down. “I might fall asleep…”

   Idia moved out of the towel and laid down across your stomach. Ortho curled up against your head. Grim laid on your chest. It was… warm.

   ………………

   Then you woke up to the smell of smoke. The plant right next to the door was on fire. Ortho was sitting right beside it looking at you with big eyes. Oh… ohhhhhh. You knew it! You knew he was thinking of arson! Hahahahhaha, wait it’s probably going to spread… you need to stop the fire, and the arson cat. 

   “Idia, Grim, get off me.” You lightly shook them off.”

   “Mrah! Hench-human whyyyy,” Grim pouted… till he saw the fire.

   Idia also saw the fire and faced pamled, maybe face pawed? 

   You rush to the kitchen and grab a jug of water. “Fire! Fire!” 

   As quickly as possible you put the fire out. “Ortho! What was that for?” 

   The cat in question just looked at you with big eyes that just screamed ‘Would I ever do any wrong?’

   You sighed, “come on you three let’s go to bed.” And the rest was history. 

 … until Ortho commits arson… again.

[mimir-anoshe]

Thinking thoughts and people have made comparisons to Yelena having a soft spot for adopting test subjects. Aka Guinea pig boyo and human puppy boyo - Bob.

Don't know if I was just being slow, but I realised Yelena saving the Guinea Pig (who thanks to this fandom I've now started calling Cucumber in my head; it's my lore name for him now) from the same lab Bob got his powers, taking him out of a literal maze he's trapped in...

It was 1:1 foreshadowing for Yelena going into the void - a maze of void rooms that acts as a prison of guilt and trauma that you're trapped in - to pull Bob (Valentino's human guinea pig) out.

Cucumber really is a symbolic allegory for Bob, the cutw guinea pig gang who get adopted by 5'3 ex russian assassin turned hero. That little show of her seeing someone who needs help, and setting them free whilst keeping them close to her even though it's just a little guinea boy. All of that is a microcosm of what she would do for Bob through some beautiful little storytelling and set up by the writers. She even hugs cucumber by the end of it all.

It highlights from the beginning that she's exactly the person Bob needed to help him through that maze and out the other side, because she can see the bigger picture, she can reach through those walls and pull him out. And Bob is the exact type of person - same as Cucumber - that Yelena wishes to protect and care for, by being in her life he can help her through her own grief and abate her loneliness through love. And they're both cute as fuck.

I don't know if that was obvious for everyone else but I got there eventually. Damn I love this movie.

I also headcanon that the guinea pig has super powers, but thats neither here nor there. Cucumber having his own void eldritch god would be hilarious and terrifying. Like a flerkin on steroids.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Let the revenge games begin.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[oceanwithouthermoon]

I like your saiteru posts but I can't shake the idea that Teruhashi only loves the idea of Saiki and not actually Saiki, especially since she hated when he gave her a glimpse of himself when he was competitive during their date.

ive seen this take floating around a few times, this whole "teruhashis mental image of saiki is wrong" "teruhashi wouldnt love him if she got to know him" "teruhashi hated any time she saw his REAL personality" and i just dont get it because like...

this scene?? the scene where hes being inconsiderate, rude, not taking her feelings into account, making her play games she doesnt even want to play, acting like a gooner, etc? THIS is the scene you thought was him showing her a glimpse of what hes really like??? where did you get that from?/genq

hes competitive, yeah, but this… isnt being competitive, its just being an asshole. thats not what hes like when hes trying to win. him wanting to win games and show off with his powers is not equivalent to being an inconsiderate tryhard who wants to make everyone do what he wants with no thought to what they want…

but youre ALSOOOOO forgetting that she actually did end up being like… “hehe i still wuv him 😚” after this…

so.. on THAT note, i need everyone to pay really really close attention to what im about to say…

she loves him when hes rude, inconsiderate, pushy, competitive…

she loves him when hes open, popular, kind, powerful, reading her mind…

she loves him when hes gloomy, monotone, boring, quiet…

she loves him when hes a GIRL.

so why is the conclusion here “she wouldnt love him for the real him”? the logical conclusion here seems to be “she would love him no matter what”

WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESNT SCREAM “LOVE”?

and regarding her "only loving his persona the same way people only love teruhashis", i think everything above disproves that anyway but i have to go more into it because not only have you misunderstood me but this also implies you think none of saiki and teruhashis friends truly love them at all 😭

saikis quiet, boring self isnt completely not him. its still him, just a different side of him than you might be used to as a viewer. you guys have to understand that although, yes, he is masking and putting up a front, that doesnt mean EVERY part of him that people see is fake 😭 its the same with teruhashi, she doesnt have a single tangible "true" self entirely on the inside and a single tangible "fake" self entirely on the outside, its NOT completely black and white! PEOPLE arent completely black and white!

youre forgetting that me saying those guys (the kokomins and all those gross ew men) dont love her because they dont know and see her was accompanied by a picture of them literally asking her to continue validating them immediately after she woke up from passing out 😭 they quite literally dont love or care about her, not even about her image, they just like the idea of her image and want her to make them feel good. the whole "nobody sees and knows and loves her" doesnt apply in the same way to yumehara and their other friends, they may not truly see her with the same depth that saiki does but that doesnt mean their care for her is fake, because they DONT care more about her image than just her and being in her company even if they do still see the parts of her that ARE fake.

you cant just take the idea that they fake a lot of themselves around others and morph that into "every single thing people see of them is fake and every single thing they dont see is an accurate representation of their true selves", it just doesnt work like that 😭 regardless of saikis power and silliness and sweetness and competitiveness, hes still a quiet guy with a gloomy face. and regardless of teruhashis cuntiness (lol) and competitiveness and obsessiveness and silliness, shes still a sweet girl who enjoys making people happy. they can be BOTH and thats okay!

this misunderstanding is like youre hearing someones thoughts and thinking "oh what a blunt person" like well... no because not everything in your head defines your personality or is something youd ever want or need to say aloud. everyone thinks crazy things, had wrong initial impressions, etc, do you see my point?? am i getting this across properly??? saiki still enjoys sitting in his house and doing nothing but eating coffee jelly and playing video games and teruhashi still enjoys when she makes people happy, those things arent fake just because they contribute to their fake personas... saiki also would not have been singing and doing standup or whatever the hell people are convinced he wouldve been doing at the mixer with someone hes "more comfortable" with, he doesnt do that shit around anyone 😭 not around his family and not around the psychickers, so im not sure where people got the idea that her thinking he would sit there and do nothing was her not understanding him or that the way he was making the guys act was how he truly wants to act 😭 he can sing and crack jokes but he never has around anyone so we dont know if thats what he wants to do, i dont even remember him making jokes aloud to the psychickers other than being a little sassy ☠️ the most i remember is him making short silly jokes to tease his dad or toritsuka... you guys just assume that hes the type of guy to stand up and sing and yell and make everyone roll over laughing because idk... maybe you cant stand the idea that your fav might not be a sexy loud confident alpha male and might actually be a little guy who loves video games and watching people and being a little brat on occasion ☠️

i feel like this take is just you guys taking both their insecurities SUPER seriously, because what else could be making you think that ANYONE who doesnt know about his powers doesnt truly love or care for saiki??

anyway... it clearly just doesnt matter to her how he acts because she just loves him and enjoys his company no matter what. thats love.

[serenity-loves-red]

IT STARTED WITH THE CAT DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM

Cat distribution system featuring Phainon.

Part 1. Part 2. (Current) Part 3.

In which• The Deliverer of Amphoreus is suddenly transported to your home as a cat.

Living with your cat has never been this refreshing. Life college may be giving you lemons, at least you now have a cat with you.

Mr. Blue Balls- you named him. A bit(?) unhinge but meh. His eyes are blue and the cat has balls. The cat even looked traumatized, went limp on your arms as if his soul just left his body after you just suddenly flip him over to look at his rear.

He wasn’t even able to look at you for a while an hour, hiding at the corner or under your table when you look at him. It was as if you just stole him all of his dignity. You did, you just didn’t know.

You even have to bribe him with tuna so that he’ll get out of his hiding spot. He’s that embarrassed. And that what makes you want to tease him more.

So you better stock more tuna to bribe him after or else he may not let you cuddle him anymore.

Anyways, aside from teasing your cat, you talked with him. Like a full rambling talk. It’s way better than talking with yourself when you are alone. Now, you have a cat you can talk trauma dump.

Although it seems to be therapeutic for you. But for him? Not at all.

I mean it’s nice hearing you talk–about yourself, your life, problems, etc. Phainon doesn’t mind that at all. What he does mind is that when you talk about this game.

About them, his friends, his world.

Have you ever seen those cat videos where the cat doesn’t seem to know if it’s alive? Just looking at nothingness? Well that’s what happens.

At first you find it cute. It happened after you played with the game. He sat on your lap as you did the trailblaze mission with Mydei. You got busy so you really haven’t really done it yet. So as you played, you keep rambling to him about your pain and resentment about the quest.

*Anaxa died*

“Fuck you Hoyoverse! Why is it always the hot men??!!!”

*10 mins after the start of 3.3*

“OmfG can’t you give me a breakkkk?? Agleaaaaa noo! Fuck you Caenis! Fuck youjsjdhhdvdjsjsvshsk”

So yeah, a bit of mental break down here and there together with your cat that seems to be meowing at it in disbelief.

Cue: existential crisis

Phainon had it hard to accept that all he had experienced was just part of a program of code and game. So he can’t help but to get lost in his thoughts sometimes.

Either staring at nothing or at you. You swear his eyes either glows or flicker from blue to yellow.

It took him about a week to accept everything. He still think of finding a way home though. After all, he still has a world to save. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it here. He’ll miss you when he leaves.

You may be a bit hyperactive, unhinged roommate/owner?, but you cared for him. Which he is grateful for. And you may or may not have been growing on him.

So yeah, just keep talking and he’ll be listening to you. You are quite cute when you do it after all.

Oh? A livestream for the next patch? He doesn’t know what that is but you can watch it together.

Is-is that me? Holy Kephale he look so coo-

“HOT! That’s MY MANN!!! Plsplspls Phainon go home the kids misses you plsplspls!🙏”

But he’s already home though *meow purrs lick*

He’s still a cat so until then he doesn’t mind giving you cuddles and kisses. I mean how awkward would it be?

He did wonder though how will you react if he turns back to normal.

[pricesdahlia]

cw: slightly suggestive

one of the first times that price left you for a mission of his, you stole his dog tags from his duffel bag just to always have something of his with you when he was away. you didn’t tell him, of course, didn’t want to have to share about your gut-wrenching anxieties about being away from him. so, you kept them around your neck 24/7, tucked under your shirt, his name directly over your heart. you wore them while sleeping, working, shopping, everywhere.

he didn’t notice until those two weeks were up and he was finally back home to his sweet girl, staring at them while you two were in bed together, noticing them resting between your breasts and over your heart like always, and he never wanted to put a ring on your finger more than he did right at that moment. you really were all for him, and him only.

now, he doesn’t even have to be away for days or weeks anymore, you always wear them now and never take them off. he jokingly asked you once, saying, “well, what if i need them back one day, sweetheart?” to which you replied, “get a new pair then.” with a small huff.

your favorite thing to do is text him right when you wake up in the morning, sending him a picture of your chest where his dog tags were perfectly snug between your breasts, and of course following it up with another photo showing off where the name ‘john price’ was indented onto your skin temporarily from sleeping on your side.

[brodyfoxxsmassivetits]

laur and their strange creature thing

[yingxtkm]

Everybody’s like “Safer Sephiroth should be a psychopathic eldritch god” this, “Safer Sephiroth should be a detached shell of what he once was, chained by the repetitive cycle of trauma and rebirth”, that-

But nobody ever talks about a sane!Safer Sephiroth trapped in a body he never asked for and forced to accept the modifications done to him against his will. He just wants to be human.

HEAR ME OUT- okay I’m jk it makes zero sense but I’m also insane and not normal about this Sephiroth.

Anyways, I just wanted to make an edit of my fic AU Seph lmao he’s just a really sad and miserable guy stuck in the body of an eldritch god 😎✨

Lord help me if I start yapping about this mfer bc I’m still super self conscious about this AU LMAOOO

[moeblob]

kitty kitty kitty

[mrmeepsmadmind]

starscream has normal reactions

no starscream shall escape being haunted by bumblebee and vice versa. primus said thou shalt be married !!!