#( thread w. leto. )

[thegraveyardshifts]

@sanguisxferox ft. Leto.

She’s smoking outside Venus In Furs, those iconic blonde locks artfully scooped up into a curled updo and dyed red for the persona of The Madame – even her eyes, covered by a mask of black lace that adds more drama to her look, if possible. Agathe’s day dress has been swapped for a large fur coat closed tight around her thin frame, hiding underneath barely anything at all. Though at work, the vampire doesn't plan on staying long, just enough to get a drink and then bounce somewhere else within New Orleans. Maybe that new casino. Yet, clientele are thin, and so Agathe looks over the multiple people walking the streets in order to find dinner. One of them has such an aura of sadness it's almost intoxicating -she wonders if he plans to drown his sorrows tonight? "Having a good night?" She calls up, sizing up a potential meal.

[mystra-midnight]

— FOLIE À DEUX | chapter i

pairing: feyd-rautha harkonnen x atreides ! ofc (leiana)

tags: mentions of rape. mentions of torture. brief suicide attempt. arranged marriage. mentioned canon character death.

w/c: 2.5k.

a/n: so recently i started writing on a dune roleplaying site, and honestly, I'm in love with everyone; they're all so insanly creative, and i love reading their threads. admittedly, i'm not sure when this idea spawned, but i'm really enjoying writing it. its not often i feel comfortable writing stories with original characters, so any feedback you have is wildly appreciated!

Thick lashes fluttered beneath the waning sleep spell; hers, his, was impossible to know. The room was warm, sweat pooling on silken sheets beneath them, making their bodies feel heavier as their limbs moved restlessly. Sleep slipped away like water through cracks in the sand. The floor was rough, the textured concrete catching at her skin, his skin, impossible to know.

One moment, there was darkness; the next, light, blinding, shining in her eyes, his eyes—a blackened sun, Giedi Prime. She knew because he knew. He knew because she knew. And then pain, all-consuming, starting from nowhere and spreading everywhere. Their vocal cords vibrated in a scream, the kind that welled up from the pit of their stomachs and stole the air from their lungs. It seemed to fill the room, echoing the sound of fear, pain, and death.

Her eyes, his eyes, flashed open, and the visions were gone.

Memories of the future danced behind the blur of tears in her eyes as her chest heaved with a shuddering sob—the sting of wounds not yet suffered induced a hysteria that threatened to consume her. The screams, hers, his, continued to echo around the prison chamber, mingling with those of the handmaidens who served House Atreides.

In the low light of the prison cell, memories of what had happened upon Arrakis came rushing back to her—betrayal. That was the only word for it. Political intrigue had led to the Atredes bloodline being eradicated, all except for her. And now she was a prisoner to House Harkonnen, the last Lady of Castle Caladan.

Leiana scrunched her eyes tightly shut, desperately willing herself back to sleep as the screams became crescendos. But she could not; instead, she settled for pacing the small cell to pass the time. That was until she saw him exit the room opposite her cell—her captor—and her emotions overwhelmed her as the handmaidens' screams turned to broken sobs.

She could smell their tears in the air and the coppery scent of blood and other bodily fluids.

"Stop this! Please!" She yelled, her fingers tightening around the bars as she glared at Glossu Rabban. Hot tears streaked down her face, leaving lines in the dirt decorating her olive-hued skin. The Beast, and indeed he was one, smiled in a sick way as he approached. He was not dressed in the traditional Harkonnen armour, the one she had seen him wearing that night, but rather in much less.

Leiana watched as he adjusted himself, tucking his flaccid cock into his trousers, making a show of it. She wanted to be sick.

"Why?" he asked, tilting his head to the side in an innocent gesture that belied his brutality. She wanted to scream. Why. Why? Because he was hurting them, taking possession of their bodies, and subjecting them to horrors none of those beneath Atreides rule had ever known. Duke Leto was kind; he did not believe in revenge. He governed in much the same way. Their people knew love and prosperity.

He was so close, standing on the other side of the bars; if she had a knife, she could end their torment. Duncan had shown her how, Gurney, too. Aim for the throat, slash, don't stab, make it deep.

His hand snaked between the bars before she could retreat, thick fingers curling around her shoulder. His thumb pressed painfully into her collarbone as he pulled her against the bars, leaving her face pressed against the rusted metal.

"Life is cruel," he said, leaning closer so his bulk pressed against the bars. She clawed at his wrist, manicured nails tearing into his pale skin, blood welling up to fill the shallow scratches. Leiana managed to suck in a breath of air, the only thing that kept her focused enough as her face pressed painfully into the bars, threatening to bruise her skin.

"Why should their deaths be anything less?"

"You're hurting me."

Glossu Rabban would not kill her; this she knew—he could not afford to. Through her, The Baron would regain his rightful and legitimate control of Arrakis, gain control of Caladen, and unite the ancient and noble houses of Atreides and Harkonnen. So no, Rabban would not kill her, but then again, a quick death had never been the Harkonnen way.

He would rape her. He would beat her. He would breed her. And that would be what killed her: the loss of freedom, forced to submit to a man so terrible and cruel. Leiana would be a caged bird, pregnant and swollen with his seed time and again until she lost the will to live, choosing instead to allow the desert to claim her.

Rabban reached through the bars with his free hand, pushing the hair from her face in an almost caring gesture. "You will be my wife." He spoke plainly, his words holding a promise that filled her with dread, turning her blood to ice until hell froze over. Leiana tried to fight him, attempting to knock his hand away, only for him to seize her wrist, his strength threatening to bend and break her bones.

"You should watch," Rabban continued, his tone soft, a sweet whisper as he traced one finger along the elegant line of her jaw, tilting her face to meet his heated gaze. "Watch as they take my cock, my Lady, as they birth my bastard children. You will learn how to be a good broodmare."

He felt the muscles of her neck shift beneath his fingers only a moment before a globule of spit hit his face, just below his left eye. For a moment, the world stood still, time and space falling away until there was only them: herself and the Beast she thought to provoke.

There was a choice to be made, his, hers. Leiana refused to be subservient; she would bear him no children. She would force his hand, let him kill her as he had killed Duncan.

Glossu Rabban would not claim her—his temper was too great to control, or so she assumed. She would ensure he could not control it. Leiana would question his every decision and speak against him during political affairs; she would betray him and kill him if the opportunity arose. He would have no choice but to discipline her or appear weak in front of his peers. 

Leiana was strong, and though she could survive whatever torment he delivered, she would not fight to live. She would choose death before him. 

The Beast swore in the language of House Harkonnen. The vowels were heavy and rough, the meaning lost to her. His fingers closed around her throat, the capillaries beneath her skin bursting, letting the blood rush to bruise in the shape of his fingers. She imagined her end would have been worse if the bars had not been between them. Bloody and violent, her body beaten and bruised and broken, but it would be the end nonetheless.

Darkness blanketed her vision, a cone funnelling it so that his face would be the last thing she saw as she struggled to gasp around the constriction of his fingers. She was crying, trying to, soundless sobs shaking her lithe frame. But she was smiling, and he hated her for that.

"My Lord."

She hardly heard the voice as her limbs started to fall limp, fingers and nails falling from his skin as a heaviness set in. She could see stars, or rather, she thought that she could. Something bright in the darkness as her lids drooped.

"What is it?" Rabban answered, pinning the servant with a hard stare. He had not yet released her. She did not hear the servant address him that way, the lack of formal title, but it seemed neither did Rabban.

"The Baron requests her presence, my Lord."

There was a moment, a single heartbeat of time when she saw her consciousness slip from her body. She saw them as though floating above them, but the rope was still there, holding her to her body and refusing to relinquish her. Rabban’s control was far greater than she'd anticipated. This would not be the day.

Leiana fell to the ground when he released her, spluttering, sobbing, and retching as dusty air filled her lungs and breathed life back into her body.

Leiana had been permitted to bathe in preparation for dinner with Vladimir Harkonnen, a small kindness given the current circumstances. The water had been scolding, leaving her skin tender as she dressed; the pain was a sting, but it soothed her all the same. During this time, she learned that her things had not been burned. This came as a surprise, as did the summons. It had been. . .

Two weeks, her mind whispered the words. She had been held in the dungeons beneath Arrakeen for fourteen days, trapped while the corpses of her family rotted and burned. A sob welled up in her chest, threatening to break her resolve.

She could see Duncan and her father in their final moments if she closed her eyes. She had not seen her mother or Paul but knew both had perished in the city's sacking. Such was the gift and curse of the Bene Gesserit, taught to the Atreides children by Lady Jessica—to know things impossible to know.

But she would not cry for them, not this night. Leiana had to put herself first now, for dinner with Baron Harkonnen would be no easy feat to survive. His brilliance and patience in political affairs were well-known. She had to keep her wits about her.

Swathed in ivory-white fabric that hugged her hips and did nothing to hide the bruises on her skin, she entered the room. Leiana intended to wear them with honour and defiance. The Baron was seated at the far end of a long table decorated with wines and meats.

"My Lord," Leiana greeted with a deep curtsey, her dress fanning around her. It was a trained mannerism, not one of affection or respect. The Baron, aware of their complicated history, acknowledged her with a nod.

"Lady Atreides," his gruff voice echoed lowly. He did not look up from his meal but instead motioned for her to take the seat at the opposite end of the table. Leiana slipped into it, observing him in quiet contemplation: he was a grotesque man, so large that he could not walk beneath the weight of his own girth, instead needing to be carried by suspensors. She imagined that, in his youth, he would have been quite handsome, as many Harkonnen had been. But in his old age, he had grown fat and treacherous, more dangerous than ever.

She waited until he resumed his meal, the sound of his cutlery scrapping the porcelain plate grating on her nerves before she, too, ate something. Her stomach knotted in protest, not because the meal had been tampered with or poisoned but because she had eaten only gruel for fourteen days. The texture of it had been like sand on her tongue, but she'd forced herself to swallow mouthful after mouthful.

This meal was a heaven-send in comparison. They ate silently for a time, the tension in the air palpable before his voice broke it.

"You know the reason I have summoned you, yes?" The Baron asked, still not taking his eyes off his plate. He ate like his appearance: with greed and excess, his portions were enough to feed a small family. Leiana chewed at the inside of her cheek, carefully considering her words.

"I must confess that I do not, my Lord."

At long last, his eyes rose to meet hers, spider-like, twinkling with shadows beneath the lights. The muscles in her jaw flexed as she clenched her teeth, stealing herself beneath his stare.

"Your marriage."

"I am not married."

"You are to wed my nephew—the Na-Baron."

At that moment, the air was knocked from her lungs. Naturally, the dinner was a trap, which she was prepared for. Still, she felt much like a fly desperately trying to escape the clutches of a spider. Her resolve was absolute, however—she would not marry him. "No," Leiana spoke plainly, her voice painted broadly with defiance and the faintest trace of disgust.

"No?" He echoed.

"No."

"You seem to have the impression that you have a choice in this matter." His expression was stern as he spoke, and he watched her with beady eyes, regarding her with genuine curiosity and a distinct disdain. The Baron was renowned for playing cat and mouse games, but who was the cat, and who was the mouse?

Leiana placed her utensils on either side of her plate, her fingertips lingering on the knife's handle, and she stared at him. The gears of her mind spun rapidly, thoughts flying from one to the next. "There is always a choice to be made, Lord Harkonnen."

He watched her, his cherubic jowls twitching with amusement when he saw how she tapped her index finger upon the knife. The action gave away her intentions before she knew what they were.

"You think to kill me? You know you could not."

On the one hand, he was correct; she could not kill him and hoped to survive. But on the other, he was so terribly mistaken. Leiana did not move; she only stared at him with fierce defiance. "No, not you. There can hardly be a wedding, let alone a marriage, without a bride."

"Ah, I see," he mused with a soft hum. "You would act cowardly, Lady Atreides, and prematurely end your family bloodline?"

"Yes." Her answer was firm, brokering no room for negotiation. "I will make this abundantly clear to you, my Lord. I will choose death, time and again before I wed your nephew. That is my choice. I will not marry Glossu Rabban." She saw how his mouth twitched, the dangerous gleam in his eyes; panic seized her.

The Baron appeared unfazed by her defiance, utterly unconcerned by her refusal. He was calm, sipping on a glass filled to the brim with blood-red wine. Alarm bells rang in her mind like sirens, and at that moment, she felt a noose tighten around her neck. She had played into his hand. 

Leiana did not hear the doors swing open; only the Baron's spider-like eyes briefly flicking away, taking in the presence of another alerted her. Her heart slammed against her breastbone with such force that she feared it would break. Rabban had come to claim her, rape her, and breed her.

She moved on instinct, standing quickly, her chair threatening to topple, fingers scooping up the knife and raising it to her throat. The serrated edge kissed at her skin, tore at it. Aim for the throat, slash, don't stab, make it deep.

Her wrist was seized before she could complete the act, the blade ripped from her grasp and thrown somewhere across the room, leaving globules of claret thickly down her skin. And then she had known the truth. 

"My Lady." The closeness of his words was startling. Once more, the tension in the air was palpable, the room as still as the morning air as his gaze lowered to her lips, broken only by the Baron's smug chortle.

She could feel his warmth as he walled her against his chest, and now, practically touching, she could smell him, too.

Feyd-Rautha.

"My nephew, Lady Atreides. The Na-Baron.”

—interest in being tagged in future chapters? send me a message!

[hologramcowboy]

The whole branding and social media thing is too confusing for me. If I am trying to be cast for a very much negative character - ie a pedophile or a psychopath - I need to refrain myself from posting good stuff in my personal sm and try to portray myself as a potential evil to make investors believe in me? 😶

I don’t know anything about Hollywood, but I have seen the most goofy person of the industry playing a devilishly psycho and rapist and giving a great hit in my country’s film industry. I have repeatedly seen a man maintaining absolutely normal family man image in social media and subsequently doing romantic hero, villain, tough police officer, comedy, drama or thriller all efficiently. That makes me think social media and PR image is for public, and not for insiders of industry- they have different team to play out that. I mean, if I maintain an image of romantic hero publicly and get cast in such roles only, won't I get typecast? And most importantly what is my credibility and efficiency as an actor if I cannot break myself over and over again and deliver all kind of roles?

Anon, at the beginning of your career and up until you reach top tier you will be typecast. In fact, the only way to get into the industry and work steadily is to typecast yourself based on your essence and then target buyers that need that character type. E.g. let's say you match the superhero vibe, that means your buyers are those who produce those types of shows/movies.

As you career advances and you rich top tiers, let's say you get promoted from recurring to series lead, as your brand becomes established now you have more leeway. You have the option of rebranding your materials to aim for your new desired tier. But, even then, you must be careful to stay faithful to your essence or you risk alienating your fanbase. By essence I don't mean past characters you've played. I mean what makes you YOU. If you are goofy then the way you play a lawyer is very different from how a serious, dark, moody man would and that's perfect. You are you. If your uniqueness centers on being able to be lighthearted and playful because that is who you are at the core then you will play different character in those main notes and you will be credible playing them.

Trying to be everything to everyone ensures failure. The only actors who can pull off a wide range are transformative actors like Meryl Streep, Charlize Theron, Jared Leto, for example, they can fully transform into a character due to intense studies, prep and using behavioral psychology. Unless you are at a tier where you are Tom Cruise famous, you will have to have a defined brand and character types that match your target goals. Once you reach the offer level of your career (meaning you get offered roles directly because you are an established, trustworthy professional and your name resonates in the industry), you get to have way more creative control but, cautiously, because as I've mentioned earlier, if something works, don't ruin it. Don't try to be something you are not. It will always backfire.

No actor is expected to deliver all kinds of roles, they are expected to realistically live the circumstances they get hired for and those will always be in line with their essence. Know who you are. Because who you are does not change. The character type might change, you might get called in as a doctor but your job is to deliver that role along with your uniqueness so your version of a doctor will match your essence and not be a general idea of what a doctor is like or a copy of what some actor actor is doing.

What you say you've seen is impossible. Most likely, the actor you are referring to is from a country where american actor branding does not apply OR you are missing the common thread in all of his roles and how it ties into his essence.

An actor's brand is his essence and under the umbrella of that brand are character types he can play, as I explained earlier. His look, physique and essence are well suited for certain characters so he gets cast as those. It has nothing to do with his family man image, unless that's his main type. All actors may post something about their family but how you do it needs to be inline with your brand or you dilute your image.

I'm really curious about this goofy actor who played a rapist. Which country was this and what is the name of that actor, most importantly, what is his look?

As for an actor social media, it is always, always, always geared at his buyers and goals unless said actor is clueless about his own industry. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that what actor present online is who they are in real life. They are maintaining an image and it is for PR purposes that they make certain posts. It is a part of their job. Their actual private profiles( if they have any because not all do) are not something you will ever be privvy to. An actor is a product and any smart actor knows this and carefully curates their online image.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. There's one specific LO ad from waaaay back in 2018 of three vertical panels (yes the repurposed porn logo was in the middle, anyway) and persephone and hades looked?? normal?? like it was the best they were ever drawn, only to you to see how they actually look in comic and it's instead a stretched out chibi for persephone and the weirdest aggregation for a man for hades. like why did rachel's style end up regressing so much since 2017. it's really weird??

2. No but seriously, Why Eris looks like she lost the bet at the NFL Fantasy Football and the bet was shaving her head with the exception of one chunk of hair in the middle, I get that it implies the "Golden Apple" thing in mythology, but honestly it's a very odd aesthetic choice :l 

3. The fact RS seems to think the only way to make sure Hades is the most viable love interest is by making sure he's barely better than a literal r4pist is by far the most bizarre thing in the comic. Like girl really? How is that the best he can be? That's not remotely how you play with the "love triangle" trope at all?

4. I love when LO fans use anecdotal tidbits as "proof" stuff like LO like the massive age gap is normal like that's cool that your parents are happily married despite being 30 years apart in age, I know someone who got struck by lightning twice, it doesn't make it common place and normal though.

5. What I find so annoying about basically every HxP retelling (including LO) is they don't seem to realize a big part of the drama was NOT telling Demeter what was going on, and ultimately to get even a semblance of a happy ending requires them to compromise with HER, not her compromising to THEM. It won't happen in LO of course, but Demeter's demands should be met and she should be shown her daughter is in good hands, not her being lied to and having to bend over backwards for Hades' wants.

6. I think RS really wants to come across as a Serious Writer™️ but even beginning writers will say how important it is to have beta readers, multiple drafts, and collaborate w/ others (especially editors), all of which RS openly does not do. Apparently even the art team doesn't get to read the scripts because she adds the dialogue in later, so they can't help either. If RS want to be a better writer then she has to be open to collaboration & even critique, which we know she's strongly adverse to.

7. if it's misogyny to dislike/critique LO then why is it literally a fandom thing and even marketing tool from Rachel and Webtoons to slutshame and get off of the misery and torture of Minthe, Thetis, and Leto for the benefit of two privileged women and a literal king who owns slaves? Why did they make misogyny a part of their story and fandom then if they're apparently so against it?

8. was just on a random twitter thread joking about if zeus or some random rapper had more kids and deadass saw some 19 year old reply "zeus does. read lore olympus fr" and i wanted to die lmao. doesn't "zeus" in lo only have like 8 ish kids at most? this comic is actively dumbing the kids down in real time and it's honestly a bit off putting.

9. I think a lot of people incorrectly compare hadestown and LO because they both have HxP and modern aspects in it, but hadestown Hades only went down his route of capitalist greed to try and give Persephone everything she could want but it corrupted him (he’s the villain in this story and this greed/abuse is why their relationship is failing) meanwhile in LO hades is a greedy asshole with Persephone never pushing back and even embracing the system she’s supposedly against. That’s not the same.

10. Something that pissed me off about the trial was that hades was considering suggesting community service for Persphone’s punishment because a couple things

I feel like Zeus is a god of the mortals, so it wasn’t just hades domain when Persephone killed a river of people

Demeter Hermes and Persephone still lied and covered a crime up (which I understand why they did but still broke some law)

Comparing the crime to Apollo and Artemis, they were rewarded for it because they didn’t hide it and did it in the name of their mother.

Eros’ example should have been used since he was so close to actually facing consequences but Aphrodite saved him.

Persephones act of wrath I felt like was poorly stitched together. In the first season we get hints and that Persephone wants to bring back mortals not nymphs. In the second season when she explains it’s her nameless friends who died and then laughed at her first meeting with hades, felt added in. My assumption for that plot line was still Persephone and Demeter fighting but Persephone saying she’s better at controlling spring or stronger/more talented than Demeter gives her credit for and goes into a fit of rage that harms the mortals without reason or the mortals were saying she wasn’t helping out with the crops something little after a fight with Demeter and Persephone blows up. I just feel like with the act of wrath, Persephone cannot do wrong and the blame for anything on Persephone has to be as small as possible. Like yes Persephone killed those mortals but they killed her best friends so it’s equal (as they weren’t even mention by name till late season 2)

The last thing I hate is that hades and Persephone never question each other. Persephone didn’t talk about the ledger and he wasn’t mad she was hiding her kill count (he yelled at her for trying to save mortals and then made out with her that one time) he just knows it’s gotta be justified. They trust each other blindly. They talk about infertility before the first date, they live together before the first date, hades meet her family for real and not super drunk. Persephone is more mad at Minthe for yelling at hades (when he’s firing her and treating her like an inconvenience) than the fact hades didn’t tell her he was going to propose to her OR THAT HE HAD AN AFFAIR with HERA HER ROLE MODEL. 

[badboy-mysweetboy]

Crazy Ace

Joker x reader? Kinda.... you’ll understand once you read. I don’t wanna spoil

Jared Leto joker is so fucking....yum. I love Harley just saying this now. Warning this does get....graphic about wounds. Random tags: @missmarrinette​ @jokeresques​@jokerimagines​ @suicidesquadimagines​ @pindragon13​

A series of small beeps could be heard from a distance before heavy cement is rubble on the ground.

Turning on my heel my henchmen form in costumes all overtaking the asylum. Arkham Asylum.

They say Harley Quin and the Clown Prince is here. Good.

The henchmen in teddy bear costume on tables shooting the guards aimed to kill. It was a blood bath, all for my doing. All at my pleasure.

Skipping down the halls as my eyes scan the area locating the criminal lockup, music blasted from every speaker. With every time my foot connects to the ground, another 5 bodies hit the floor. Hiding my pales skin with layers of black and blue, my lips followed words of the song without effort. 

The tattoos that are drawn on my skin prominent against the harsh paleness of my skin. The streak of the speaker idolized the end of the song, dead silence. A foul smirk overcame my bored expression as one of my boys opened the door for me. Walking in, there they were. In large cages. Harley cornered herself as Joker watched curiously.

My henchmen stood frozen waiting for my next move, nodding towards the girl they immediately got to work. My stare held close to his, approaching his cold bared solitude. The dark hair covered most of my eyes until looking up, “Well, look at you Harley. All grown up after being a stripper. Must have... grown out of it.” Switching my focus to her. Who I came for. “Me? Not Mista J?” She quirked in confusion. “Give me my package boys then roll out.” Almost within seconds, she’d retrained on her way to my mansion. Turning to meet blue eyes once again, “Let him out after I’m gone.” I wave off my last few men before walking out. 

The only sound heard was my boots meeting the groud as a cold tune of whistling left my lips leaving Joker to rethink everything over.

Joker sat looking around before my men released him, smirking he got up and strolled passed the guards. A firm hand to the Clown Prince's chest stopped him before the door. His cold stare meets a card. A black ace turning it over in front of Jokers' face his eyes now meet with a location. Then they left.

Joyriding around the city, weaving between the traffic with sirens blaring behind me. Music screaming from its speakers as I jerk the wheel to my will. After losing them, which took way to long my eyes gaze upon my place of crime. 

Meeting me at the front door the henchmen welcome me back, “Wassup Shaggy! Got my toys?” Talking to the leader of my boys, Shaggy. He smiled, yes he was older than me. Yes he’s 25 and I’m 15 but he’s my homie. “Yes, Miss Quinzel is in the playroom. Do you need anything?” Shaking my head I headed down to the playroom, skipping 4 steps at a time. The concrete echoed my boots as a curling whistle left my lips once more, one that terrified Harley to her core. 

The door opened, to meet her tied and gagged in a steel chair bolted to the ground. Pure anger took over my expression but a grin found itself on the corners of my lips. “This should be fun.” Shaggy ripping off her gag from her, questions flew from her like a child on crack. “I will gag you again, but with a needle and thread this time.” Immediate silence came from her. Shaggy’s pocket vibrated as he left to take it. 

I stalked her, walking around her like prey. Slightly playing with her pigtails. “I’m gonna have so much fun with you Harley. And then when you’re barely there, I’m going to stop. Then I’m going to tell you why you’re here, and I’m gonna keep you here. Joker can’t save you, because of what you did. You are sitting there for a reason, you put yourself there Dr.Harleen Quinzel and you didn’t even know it.” A menacing laugh erupted from my mouth before going to look at my toys. 

Fingers dancing over the many toys before deciding on my blade, holding it up, admiring it I spoke up,” Do you know why this is my favorite blade Harleen?”

Her head shook violently, “Now let us use our words Harleen. Is that the way you speak to me after I broke you out of that place? Ungrateful.” Approaching her she squeaked out, “I’m so-sorry. W-why is i-it your fa-avorite blade?” Smiling I level my face with hers, “You see, this is the blade that I killed my adopted father with. I stole it when around 7.” Tracing her cheekbone with the old blade leaving a fine line across her face as she whimpers. Smiling I continued drawing in red, her screams filled my ears as I covered every inch of her pale skin. 

Letting out a dramatic sigh, “I’m starting to get bored. How about you Harleen? Are you bored?” Searching her eyes, “Now, now, now Harleen. We spoke about responding.” Not leaving her stare, the knife plunged into her leg with a scream, “I’m sorry! No, I’m having fun. Please, why are you doing this?” A whisper left her lips, smirking leaning into her ear. “That the question isn’t it?” 

“Hey Boss, The Joker is here.” Shaggy pronounces, standing straight a look of hope gleamed in Harleen’s eyes. I too smiled. “Awww that’s cute, look at that Shags, she thinks he’s here for her. No, honey, I gave him my location. Stay here honey I’ll be back!” I yell pass my shoulder leaving the room. Checking my watch, “Ah ya see, he’s late Shagster. People have no sense of respect nowadays.” Walking up the final stair the green-haired Crime boss stood, “Why am I here Ace?” He grumbled, smiling I walked to him. “Where’s the fun in that?!” Skipping away to the staircase and whispering to the men on top of the stairs, they quickly went down as I returned to the clown. “Come on we don’t have all day.” Leading to my office deeper into my home. The massive gold doors opened to reveal my business room. 

Harleen was sitting in the middle of the exquisitely expensive room. “Ah! You’re here! Shag, what would I do without you.” Exclaiming punching him on the shoulder, the doors shut behind Joker as I hopped on to my chair sitting particularly strange to most. 

Watching the scene unfold, Joker eyed me cautiously. “Puddin’! Ya here to save me! I love ya so much! Baby!” My ears were ready to fall off, “Harleen shut up!” My voice boomed over the room, “Slightly better, if ya kept going I was going to throw up. Now here comes the best part of the story.” I eyed Joker than the chair, he placed himself in the chair. Standing from my chair and circling in front of Harleen. “Ok now, you’re probably thinking, ‘hmmm why am I in a nice ass house in front of a 15-year-old crime boss like myself?’ well I’m going-well Harleen is going to do us that favor.” Turning my heel I re-level myself with her face. 

She shook with fear as I got closer to her, it clicked. “Dr. Harleen Quinzel, you are the doctor who took care and loved the Clown Prince over there. La-la lovely Dovey shit later Dr. Harleen Quinzel helps Joker get out, and continue Doc. Why did you really help him out?” Turning to met jokers face before sitting back into my chair. She shifted before gulping. “Harley.” Joker's voice was stern, she looked at the floor. 

“Today Junior! Speak puppy, speak!” I yell as she jumped at my voice. “Well Puddin’ ya see when I was helping you in the Asylum, and during one of-of our sessions I started getting sick.” Joker’s eyes widened, sitting forward. A smile came over my face, “Yes come on keep going, 7 months forward!” I place my chin on the chair waiting for the story to continue. “Puddin’ you said ya didn’t want any kids so when I got pregnant I ditched it and came back to ya baby!” He growled before I jumped in, “Where did ya leave her Harleen? Where did ya leave it? A fire station?” 

“No.”

“Oh, then an orphanage?” “No.”

“Then possibly a random doorstep?” “No! Stop!”

“Then where did you leave her Dr. Harleen Quinzel?! Where did you leave this perfectly and completely innocent baby in the dangerous streets of Gotham?!”

Silence followed, the air thick in tension. “Where did ya leave her Harley?” The Joker spoke up, even she didn’t meet his eyes. Finally, she spoke but never looked up, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Joker repeated himself, Ya know ya club, I may or may not have put the baby in one of the dumpsters before rejoining you at the Acid storage factory. When you fell in love with me baby.” 

Joker stood and looked away from the woman, I smile letting out a sigh. “Wasn’t that a lovely story! But, I know the sequel. Here sit down, I’ll let you know the ending. Sit Mr. Joker, please I insist.” I jump up and offer his chair with a glass of Jack, he takes it and sits. “Now let us wrap this up with a bow, Once upon a time a little girl was born, born in a very dangerous place but this baby believed in the trust of her beloved parents even though her father never known of her existence. But instead was left in a dumpster to die outside a Crime Bosses night club, until a druggy-acholic found her when he was dumpster diving for some heroine. He brought her home, not to love her and to take care of her. No, he saw something to raise into the perfect slave for any need he may have. No censor bars there sweetheart. Take that any way you want, or how dirty you want because it happened. When she was 7 she killed the horrid man, then she found someone to help her-” Shaggy had a sad look over his face, but met my eyes when I spoke, “He helped her grow and learn what happened to her, he helped me become the biggest Crime Boss there ever was. Even bigger than you Joker. The End! What a beautiful story don’t you think, Harleen? Well, that’s all I wanted. You can leave goodbye.” 

Walking out of the room and into the kitchen while my boys made sure Harleen left in one piece with Joker. “I wonder how it will go? How about you Shags?” He sat across from me as he handed me a drink, “Well by his reaction, I believe he will get rid of her by tomorrow or the next hour. How are you?” Chewing on the straw a muffled,” I’m fine, really actually. How about you, shagster?” He thought while standing next to me. 

“It was hard not to kill her right then and there but this plan of yours should work perfectly, it always does.” Patting my shoulder before the door sung its normal melody. “A lot sooner than expected.” He mumbled before the Joker came in and passed the henchmen. They detained him, “Hey. It’s okay to let him go. Come and sit. We have milkshakes and alcohol for all mental fun.” 

After they let him go he sat on the patted stool, “So, I’m guessin’ the story was bout you?” He finally spoke up after a short silence. I chuckled, raising my hands. “How’d ya guess? I thought I told the story for the plot twist.” I chuckle but mumble the last part. He chuckled too. Our eyes meet once again like the first time we meet, the same icy touch and the paleness of our skin made us right out of a comic book. 

“So, Ace. is that your real name?’“ 

“No Jack, It isn’t.” His eyes widened and stayed on me for a while. “How’d you--?” 

“I won’t tell anyone but 21 and Me. Man those ads always get me. But my name Y/n. After Shagster's mother. But people call me Crazy Ace”

[moved--to-mysticandskepticmuses]

* —– FACE CLAIM TRACKER.

          Can you do me a favor and reply to this post with what fc’s you are / aren’t comfortable with for threads / interactions on this blog?  Live face claims include Jared Leto from Suicide Squad, Heath Ledger from the Dark Knight, Jack Nicholson from Batman, Joaquin Phoenix from Joker & an assortment of graphic / animation arts - lump summed as animated for the sake of this post.  If you are comfortable with all, then just reply w/ all; if you are only comfortable with live action faces, then reply with live, if you prefer animated, say animated, if you’re fine with everything except one particular animated source or comic, or one particular live face claim then please put all except: _____ -- if you are not comfortable replying with that info here, you are free to im me or drop me a message in my inbox etc with the reply.  No explanations needed, I just want to know who / what you are and aren’t comfortable with!  

[lolainblue]

Thunderbirds   Chapter: 34

t/w  Medical references

   I was lying on a bed in a cool, dimly lit room and a television was flickering softly in the corner. My vision was somewhat fuzzy but I could just make out someone sitting on a chair next to me, their attention on the nearly muted screen. This, combined with the acerbic odor of disinfectant and the soft beeps of monitoring equipment told me I was in a hospital, but I couldn't remember why. I tested my limbs, things seemed to still be in place and responding to my instructions, but my vision hadn't quite resolved and my head was pounding. I couldn't see who was in the room with me so I took my best guess.

   “Roger?” I asked, my voice surprisingly weak and hoarse. The figure in the chair moved, and I realized it was too big to be Roger.

   “Butch?” came the response. That was my brother Mitch's nickname for me, earned when, at the age of six, I beat up the neighbor boy who had two years and about twenty pounds on me. Why was Mitch here?

   “Mitch? What are you doing here?” I asked. He got up from his seat and reached for something behind me.

   “Well, fun fact, it's generally two and half hours from Terre Haute to St. Louis, but it's only about 90 minutes when your kid sister is being rushed to the hospital with a head injury.”

   “I have a  head injury?” was all I could say. Everything was very foggy. I didn't remember getting hurt.

   “Grade Three concussion kiddo. Well done.”

   Someone else came into the room just then and I realized Mitch must have been reaching back to hit the nurse call button. The woman in scrubs that materialized at my bedside was slightly plump with curly dark hair and a reassuring smile. “Hello sweetie,” she said, squeezing my arm.  “Good to have you back with us again. Can you tell me your name?”

   “Jane. Jane Sewell.”

   The nurse gave me that reassuring smile again. “Good job. And who's this well-built gentleman at your side?”

   I considered giving her a smart ass answer but thought maybe this wasn't the best time. “This is my brother Mitchell.”

   “Good.” She shone a flashlight into my eyes and nodded. “Do you remember who I am?”

   “I... no.” I didn't think I'd seen her before. Was this a trick question? She patted my hand.

    “I'm Susan,” she supplied. “Do you know where you are?”

   “The hospital, I guess.”

   “Do you know why?”

   “Mitch says I have a head injury.”

   “Yes, but do you remember that?” I shook my head in response and my stomach lurched. “Try not to move your head too much dear. Do you know what the date is?”

   I thought for a minute. “September. No.” Not September. I knew it was summer and I was with Shannon on his tour, why did I say September? “July. Seventh maybe?”

   “It's the ninth,” Mitch supplied.

   “How long was I out?” I asked with alarm.

   “Just about 5 minutes initially,” Mitch explained. “But you keep going in and out and you're not remembering things. It's still the same day though.” He was frowning and looking very concerned. Susan turned her reassuring smile on him.

   “That's perfectly normal this soon after a concussion of this severity. It's nothing to worry about. The doctor will do some more tests in the morning.”

   She fussed with the monitors by my bed for a minute and then excused herself. I could feel panic rising up. Everything was so fuzzy. What if this was permanent? My vision swam even further as my eyes started to fill with tears.

   Mitch sat back down in his chair and took my hand. “It's okay kiddo. We're going to get you through this. Please don't cry. It will all look better tomorrow. You'll see."

   We sat quietly for a while, while I tried to remember more about what had happened. I think Mitch was waiting to see if I would pass out again. “Can I try asking you a question again, Jane? Roger didn't exactly explain things very well.”

   “Where is Roger?” I asked. It seemed strange that Mitch was the only one there with me.

   “That's part of the question. The last time I spoke to you, you were going to take a few days off from your nice quiet book tour to rest up since the girls were sick and your visit was canceled. How did we get from there to Roger helping Jared Leto bail your boyfriend the drummer out of jail for beating up your fiance?”

    I think I would have had a hard time sorting that sentence out even if I hadn't had a head injury. “Uhm... what? Shannon is in jail?”

   Mitch nodded. “And so is Angus, although from what I can gather no one is unhappy about that. I know I'm not.”

   Mitch had never liked Angus. I wrote it off as protective older brother syndrome. God, how many warning signs had I ignored? I couldn't remember why Angus was here though or why Shannon would have been in a fight with him and I still didn't know what had happened to me. “I don't know exactly. How many times have we had this discussion, Mitch?”

   “About three. And you'll probably forget this conversation too, so I'm going to tell you good riddance to that guy. I always thought he was shifty. And I love you, Butch. Don't you ever scare me like this again.”

   When I woke up again the room was still dark and the TV was off but there was light coming in from the hallway. I could feel something heavy pressing down on my stomach and my still rebellious eyes could just make out the head of someone who had fallen asleep there.

   “Mitch?” I asked, my voice a little stronger than before. I reached for their hair and realized it was too dark to be Mitch or Roger. “Shannon?”

   He quickly sat up and turned his head to me. His face looked distorted even after he leaned forward and it took me a minute to realize it wasn't my vision this time. He had a large bruise on one side of his face and his lip was split.

   “Janey, hey, you're awake,” he said, a big smile filling his face. “Do you need anything?”

   I started to shake my head but remembered Susan's earlier admonishment. “No. Well, maybe some water.”

   He poured me a cup from the little bedside pitcher and inserted one of those bendy straws in it, the ones I remembered being so excited to get in my milk in kindergarten. He held the cup for me while I took a drink, and the cool liquid felt good on my parched throat. With a sigh I let my head fall back to the pillow. “What happened?” I asked.

   “Well, in true Jane fashion, you managed to trip over your own feet and hit your head on the only rock in giant cleared field.” The voice was Roger's this time, and as he spoke he emerged from the shadows of the room. His face was unblemished but his arm was in a sling.

   “Well, that explains me, what the hell happened to you two?”

   They exchanged significant looks before Roger finally answered. “When the paramedics got there Angus tried to convince them that you two were actually married and that we were your junkie buddies come to seduce you back into a life of crime and depravity.”

   “He had something, Jane, some paperwork...” Shannon interjected but Roger made a hushing motion.

   “I called Mitch right away but by the time the cops got on scene and they were getting ready to take you away in the ambulance, well you were really out of it and Angus got you confused and you told them it was true.”

   “I did what?” I asked. "I told them what?"

   “I figured we needed a distraction. So I decked him,” Shannon said, unable to hide his satisfaction at finally getting a swing in at Angus.

   “It pretty much turned into an all-out brawl from there,” Roger continued.

   “I had to get eight stitches,” Shannon informed me with a proud grin, showing me a spot on his scalp. I gingerly threaded my fingers through his hair to touch the bandage.

   “And I sprained my wrist,” Roger explained, raising his arm. “But the cool thing is, Angus punched a cop.”

   “That's cool?” I asked, confused.

   “It means he's still sitting in jail right now and we're probably going to be getting off with a warning. Jared already called the lawyers.” Shannon explained.

   Well, it wasn't nearly the amount of trouble Angus deserved but at least I didn't have the worry of dealing with him hanging over my head anymore. “Wait, what paperwork? You said he showed them paperwork?”

   “I don't know exactly, Jane,” Roger told me while shooting Shannon another look. I figured that was pretty much bullshit but I didn't have the energy right now to argue. “I remember,” I said.

   Roger looked hopeful. “You remember what happened?”

   “No. But I remember waking up before when you guys weren't here yet. That's the first time I've remembered something since they brought me in here I think. So that's an improvement right?”

   “Sure it is,” Roger said, leaning over to kiss my forehead. “What's the last thing you remember before that?”

   I reached back through the fog. “Soundcheck. You and I were watching the guys do their soundcheck and you kept checking your phone.”

   Roger nodded. “Noemi called me that morning. She said Angus was acting funny and she thought he might have figured out something was up. She was supposed to call me back when she knew more. Of course, I never dreamed he'd show up in St. Louis...”

   “Oh, Shit!” I exclaimed and was immediately sorry as the throbbing in my head exploded into a red haze. I gritted my teeth before continuing. “What about the show?”

   Shannon sighed. “We didn't play. We were too busy trying to convince the police that we weren't some mastermind criminals out to do you harm.”

   I winced. “I'm so sorry Shannon. I hope you guys aren't in too much trouble.”

   “No, it's going to be okay. But I do have to be in Milwaukee for the next show day after tomorrow.” He looked at the clock. “Or tomorrow I guess.”

   “And your shoot Roger?” I asked, knowing full well that Roger would never leave me like this.

   “Forget about it. It's just one job. I need a little time off anyway.”

   “Well, I guess we can drive to Milwaukee once they cut me loose tomorrow. We should have plenty of time to get there before they need him. Or maybe we could catch a flight in the morning?” I wanted to catch up with the band as soon as possible and put this sorry state of affairs behind me.

   “No, no, no, Miss-50-First-Dates. You're not going anywhere for a couple of days and then it's straight to Mitch's until you're cleared to fly.”

    I started crying, even though I couldn't quite articulate why. “My tour?” I asked between sniffles.

   “Last two weeks are canceled.”

    I considered the mess I had made: Mitch's mad dash across state lines, Angus in jail for assaulting a police officer, Shannon on bail, the guy's injuries, the missed performance, Roger's canceled gig and two weeks worth of canceled appearances for me. “Am I in trouble?”

   “No, no one is in trouble. Accidents happen, promoters have insurance to cover these things, everything is going to be just fine. Stop worrying and just get better.” Roger fiddled with his phone for a minute, contemplating something, before continuing. “Mitch fell asleep in the lounge. I'm going to update him. Be right back.”

    Once Roger was gone I scooted as far over in the bed as I could. “Lay down with me for a few minutes?” I asked Shannon.  Carefully he climbed into the small space next to me, tangling me up in his arms and legs and with great care, pulling my head against his warm chest. “I'm sorry for getting you mixed up in all this,” I told him. I was beginning to feel like I had blown into his life like an F5 tornado, leaving chaos and destruction in my wake. “I've really managed to turn your life upside down. Maybe Jared was right about me after all.”

   “No he wasn't and he doesn't think so either. Don't worry about all this. It will be fine. At least you're back in my life. I'll take whatever happens from there.” He pushed an errant curl back from my forehead. “Go back to sleep. They said you're going to be tired for a while and the doctor will be here early.”

   I wanted to argue but I could already feel my limbs growing heavier and my breath deepening. At least my nostrils were now filled with Shannon's familiar notes instead of the hospital.

   “Good morning, Jane, I'm Dr. Britton. How are you today?” Once again someone was shining one of those annoying lights in my eyes and I was finding my patience was nil this morning.

   “Tired.” I snapped. “Ready to get out of here.”

   “Well let's see what we can do to make that happen.” The tall woman in front of me seemed completely unconcerned with my foul mood, her smile never wavered. “Can you tell me where you are?”

   “Some hospital in St. Louis.”

  “Barnes-Jewish Hospital, as a matter of fact. Can you tell me the date?”

    I sighed. It wasn't even breakfast time yet and this was already the second questioning I had endured since waking. “September 9th. Well, I guess it would be the tenth now.”

   “And the year?”

   “2003.”

   “Good girl.” Great. I felt like a Pomeranian. She paused to check my reflexes before moving on and then seemingly satisfied, gestured to the guys who gathered expectantly around my bed. “And you know all these people and their relation to you?”

   “Yes, that's my big brother Mitch. That's my best friend Roger, and my boyfriend, Shannon.”

   “Very good. Okay, I'm going to give you a list of things and I want you to repeat it back to me. Tomato, Star, Girl, Red, Box.”

   “Tomato. Star. Er...” I hesitated for a moment. “Girl. Red. Uh... box.”

   “Good.” She made a few notes on my chart. “How's the headache today? Any better?”

   “Not really, no.”

   “Dizziness? Nausea?”

   “Only every time I move my head,” I answered, not bothering to hide my irritation.

   “Can you repeat that list again?”

   “Uhm. Red...” No matter how hard I tried I couldn't conjure the rest of the items from my memory. “No, sorry.”

   Dr. Britton patted my leg reassuringly. “It's okay. You're improving. Do you remember meeting me when they brought you in yesterday?”

   “No.” I'd have testified in court that I had never seen this woman before, that was how sure I was. I was apparently completely mistaken.

   “That's not unusual. You may never get the memory back of the moments immediately surrounding your accident. I don't want you to worry about that. You seem to be bouncing back very well today. We'll run some more tests this afternoon. You should expect to feel tired for a while, repairing a brain is hard work, but the dizziness and nausea should pass. We'll keep an eye out for any other symptoms. I'm going to have a word with your brother now, okay?” She stepped into the hallway with Mitch, closing the door behind them. I looked to Roger and Shannon, who were still in their clothes from yesterday, looking exhausted. I felt so bad. I hated being the source of all this drama.

   Shannon sat down on the edge of the bed and took my hand in his. “They're not going to let me out of here. I'm not going to be able to go to Milwaukee with you.” I complained.

    Shannon's voice was stern when he responded. “You have no business living out of a tour bus right now anyway, Jane. You gave us the scare of our lives yesterday. You can't think you're just going to hop back up today and go on like nothing happened.”

   “I don't want you to go. I know you can't stay but I'm not ready to lose you yet.” I could feel an ache growing in my chest that had nothing to do with any injuries.

   “You're not losing me. I'm going to be on tour until the end of August and as soon as you're able to you can come catch up with me. And I've got a couple of days off next week, I can come see you. It'll be okay Janey, I promise.” He gripped my hand tightly and I could see that he wasn't any happier about leaving me behind than I was having him go, no matter how brave a face he was putting on it.

   “It doesn't feel like it.” I burst into tears, which just made my head hurt that much more. “I'm sorry.”

   Shannon leaned in as far as he could before pulling my head against his chest. “Don't worry about it. Doc said you might have some trouble regulating your emotions. I just need you to take care of yourself and get better okay?”

   “Okay.” I sniffled.

   I got poked, prodded and questioned so much the rest of the day I was ready to slap anyone that came near me with one of those little flashlights or a cart. They ended up deciding to release me to Mitch's care with instructions to follow up locally with a doctor in Terre Haute. I was not to get on a plane to fly back to New York until that doctor cleared me. Roger had had the presence of mind to get my luggage off the tour bus before they left town, and Mitch loaded it and me into his minivan for the drive back to his place. Roger and Shannon headed for Milwaukee. When I watched them drive off I sobbed like a little girl who'd lost her teddy. It seemed once again Shannon and I were parting in tears.

@msroxyblog @nikkitasevoli @maliciousalishious@meghan12151977 @mustlove6277 @fyeahproudglambert @little-poptart @lady-grinning-soul-k @pheenixpeterson

[carriejonesbooks]

Am I the Butt Face? How to Make (and be) a Likeable Character

Am I the Butt Face? How to Make (and be) a Likeable Character

Why Do People Suck So Much?

One of the biggest things you hear in the world of writing is to make your character likeable, which is great and all but gives you two questions: 

How. How do you make your characters likable?

How do you make your characters likable when in real life people suck so much? There’s an entire Reddit thread called “Am I the A-Hole?” 

We talk about the second question…

[fashiontrendin-blog]

7 Ways To Make A Boring Wardrobe More Stylish

http://fashion-trendin.com/7-ways-to-make-a-boring-wardrobe-more-stylish/

7 Ways To Make A Boring Wardrobe More Stylish

It’s not that hard to dress well, particularly if you strenuously avoid trends in favour of stuff that won’t go out of date in six months. A couple of well-fitting suits. An assortment of quality basics. A few pairs of good shoes. Congratulations: you’ve completed style.

The only problem with hewing to those ‘timeless classics’ that we’re so fond of banging on about is that after a while it starts to get a tad, well, dull (for us as much as you). How then to change the stagnant bathwater of your rotation without throwing out the baby that is your minimalist, capsule wardrobe – or splashing out too much?

If you’re concerned about a boring wardrobe, below are seven ways to dress more directionally for spring and beyond without going completely off trans-seasonal track. Or just bonkers.

Step It Up

The trend for thick-soled, Derby-style shoes currently afoot presents an opportunity for you to increase your profile.

“To achieve a quick win, dress from the bottom up,” says Mr Porter style director Olie Arnold. “Invest in a pair of alternative Derbies, such as […] kiltie ones or […] chunky suede creepers.”

Yes, you’re stepping outside your comfort zone – but not that far, because everything else can remain grounded. “Not only does everyone notice footwear – remember that shoes are the window to your style – but they can bring an element of interest to an outfit of timeless classics,” adds Arnold. In short, you’ll be double-shoegazed.

Switch Codes

The definition of inanity is wearing the same thing over and over again, as noted swaglord Albert Einstein didn’t say. Thankfully, the fix isn’t rocket science.

“If you’ve got a shoe rack full of trainers, sub in a pair of chunky Derbies or penny loafers, or swap out your bomber for a deconstructed blazer,” says Luke McDonald, a stylist at online personal-shopping service Thread.

Or vice versa. “If you’re all set for smart garb but lack casual options, minimalist sneakers are perfect and still look great with suits,” continues McDonald. “Or if you normally layer smart knitwear under a coat, try something sportier like a hoodie instead.”

If you’re in a union of similar dressers, changing your game will also put you in a different league.

Jumper On The Bandwagon

After a period of low-key restraint, menswear has veered in the opposite direction towards show- and thumb-stopping statement pieces. “This season, graphic prints and pops of colour are key trends,” says Arnold.

If you’re understandably worried about stitching yourself up, don’t be. “Even if you’re a little wary of some of the wilder prints, I can assure you that this trend can be worn easily through knitwear,” he adds. “An overstated graphic or bright coloured knit can be the solitary eye-catching element of an outfit when teamed with simple pieces such as a plain tee or white shirt with denim jeans or flat-front trousers.”

In other words, all your other normcore clothes. Although the aim is to make your look more interesting, you’ll still need the basic building blocks of a wardrobe to avoid going the full Jared Leto.

Throw In Some Shapes

As a man of style, doubtless you’re on first name terms with your tailor and know your measurements down to an atomic level. But that’s all the more reason to try something bigger on for size.

“Mix it up with a wider-leg trouser, a looser jumper or an oversized shirt,” says McDonald. “This can be tricky if you’ve been on a slim or skinny tip and have a wardrobe full of form-fitting garms, so start with a T-shirt if you’re feeling cautious.”

Again, the beauty of this move is that it doesn’t just allow you to keep everything else in your rig the same: it practically relies on it for you to maintain balance and not body-double for Tom Hanks when he transforms back to a kid.

Pop Your Colour

If your palette is restricted to exclusively navy and grey with a few highlights of, er, black, then consider that a blank canvas on which to experiment.

“Bold colours will add interest to a drab wardrobe,” says McDonald. “Jewel tones work best with basics and pastels can be the perfect thing to prepare for spring.”

Not quite David Hockney? Burgundy, olive and camel are a level up from navy and grey while still being unimpeachable, versatile and not at all suggestive of a kid’s TV presenter.

Beyond that, there’s brown and burnt orange, colours straight out of the seventies revival, but less distressing a prospect than flares. Or at the daring end of the spectrum, on-point pink. Just stick to one piece, Picasso.

Win At A Stroke

If silhouette or colour is a little too rich for your tastes, texture is a much more understated flex that’s also often overlooked. And in a tone-on-tone ensemble, mixing fabrics is not optional but essential if you don’t want your outfit to appear flat.

Yet more seventies mainstays, velvet and velour lend a luxurious feel to utilitarian bombers and sportswear such as sweatshirts and joggers. Rugged styles such as these, in turn, mitigate the material’s louche qualities and prevent you from resembling Anchorman’s Brian Fantana. Not that there’s anything wrong with velvet tailoring, mind. But it’s an advanced vibe.

More conservatively, trade your worsted wool suit or cotton poplin dress shirt for nubby flannel, or your shiny silk tie for matte wool. Or splice a pair of corduroys among your jeans.

Pattern Up

‘Plain’ is not complimentary. If everything in your locker blends into one, then deploy some disruptive pattern material to break up all those block colours.

Raise the bars this season with vertical stripes, which are a little swervier than the more common horizontal ones, not to mention more slimming. Suits, shirts and trousers are the obvious lines to go down, but pinstripes can confer an unexpected formality – and therefore interest – onto sportswear and tees.

The Hawaiian shirt is also saying aloha again for SS18, most notably at SSS World Corp, the label founded by street style icon Justin O’Shea following his brief, Metallica-headlined stint at Brioni. Yes, the prints might be louder than 11, but they’re typically dampened by being rocked in concert with khaki, olive or (fade to) black.

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[finnoxgygenthief-blog]

Pt. 6 • random questions

601) What is your one major weakness? Trust 602) What's been the best decision you've made in your life so far? Getting rid of certain shit 603) What's been the worst decision you've made in your life so far? Even starting that whole shit 604) What words do you always struggle to spell correctly? Oxygen, dyslexia because I am in fact dyslexic 605) On a scale of 1-10 how happy would you say you are? Is this even a question for me? 606) On a scale of 1-10 how smart would you say you are? -273 (Kelvin's absolute freezing point because I see no brain activity here) 607) On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 10 I'm fucking hilarious 608) On a scale of 1-10 how devious would you say you are? 9. 3/4 haha 609) On a scale of 1-10 how awesome would you say you are? Pft a solid 2 610) On a scale of 1-10 how devilsh would you say you are? 666 611) On a scale of 1-10 how nice/caring would you say you are? I'm caring but I'm blunt so I can come off as harsh so I'm going with 5 612) On a scale of 1-10 how bitchy would you say you are? 10 613) On a scale of 1-10 how polite would you say you are? 5 614) On a scale of 1-10 how attractive would you say you are? 6 615) If you could be any famous person who would you be and why? Christian Bale, because Batman and playing a magician in a movie where David Bowie stars as Nikola Tesla, yeah you get it 616) What's your favourite animal beginning with the letter A? Alligator 617) What's your favourite item of clothing beginning with the letter B? Beanies 618) What's your favourite expletive beginning with the letter C? Cunt 619) What's your favourite boys name beginning with the letter D? Damian ha 620) What's your favourite girls name beginning with the letter E? Eliza because of my grandma 621) What's your favourite book beginning with the letter F? Forrest Gump 622) What's your favourite bodypart beginning with the letter G? G-spot 😎 Idk 623) What's your favourite musical instrument beginning with the letter H? Harp? Idfk 624) What's your favourite song beginning with the letter I? I Wanna Be Your Dog by the Stooges 625) What's your favourite actress beginning with the letter J? Jennifer Lawrence 626) What's your favourite actor beginning with the letter K? Keanu Reeves 627) What's your favourite film beginning with the letter L? Lolita or Labyrinth 628) What's your favourite tv show beginning with the letter M? M*A*S*H* 629) Whats your favourite game beginning with the letter N? Nokia's snake lol idfk anymore 630) What's your favourite non alcoholic drink beginning with the letter O? Oreo milkshake 631) What's your favourite food beginning with the letter P? Pasta 632) What's your favourite band beginning with the letter Q? Queen lol 633) What's your favourite author beginning with the letter R? Nancy Taylor Rosenberg 634) What's your favourite sport beginning with the letter S? Soccer 635) What's your favourite job beginning with the letter T? Toilet cleaner idfk these questions are giving me a headache 636) What's your favourite mythical creature beginning with the letter U? I can't spell it Urma- something this mesopotamian lion-human hybrid cool af 637) What's your favourite alcoholic drink beginning with the letter V? I don't drink alcoholic beverages. 638) What's your favourite cartoon character beginning with the letter W? Don't watch cartoons 639) What's your favourite word beginning with the letter X? Xenophilia 640) What's your favourite city beginning with the letter Y? York? Idfk 641) What's your favourite country beginning with the letter Z? I'mma go with (New) Zealand lol 642) Do you get seasick? No 643) If you discovered a new species of dinosaur what would you call it? Last intelligent species 644) Do you own a paddling pool? No 645) What do you consider is the most important piece of furniture in a house? The little inflatable palm tree 646) What do you consider is the most important appliance in a house? WiFi router 647) If you could have any celebrity's hair whose would it be? Idfk Jared Leto 648) Which Celebrity do you find the most annoying? Kardashians/Jenners 649) What potential talents do you think you might have if you worked at them? Social skills 650) Who was better, Flipper, Lassie or Skippy? Flipper 651) If you could be trained up in any profession of your choice by top professionals what profession would you choose? Astronaut lol 652) If someone else's child was being an annoying little runt would you go tell them off or do something about it? Tell the parent off 653) Do you believe in karma? I do 654) Do you believe in revenge? Yes 655) Do you believe in fairies? No 656) Do you believe in a god? Idk 657) Do you believe there used to be dragons? Sure 658) Who would you want to be with on a desert island? Jade 659) What's the worst show on television? Keeping up with the kardashians I hope that shit is over though 660) Who's your favourite god from ancient history? I can't spell the fucking name but Cutuhlu 661) What one device would you want to see added to a mobile phone? Sunlight power generator 662) Where do you see yourself in 1 months time? Idk 663) Where do you see yourself in 1 years time? Away 664) Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? Dead idk 665) What was the best thing about your old school? Honestly, it was terrible and the only thing I miss was seeing the look on the old hag of a principal's face when I entered her office after doing shit 666) What was the worst thing about your old school? ..also the same as above 667) If you could change your name to anything what would your new name be? David 668) Do you watch too much tv? Not really 669) Have you ever planted a tree? Yes 670) Whats the heaviest thing you can lift? Don't think I've tried my luck that far 671) What was the last present you received? A gift card to a record store 672) Are your ears lobed or attached? Something in between 673) How often do you wash your ears? Whenever I shower 674) Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No 675) What was your first alcoholic drink? None 676) What was your first job? Something like blockbuster? Yeah I worked at that place smfh 677) What was your first car? (or what would you like it to be?) A wreck of an audi 678) What was your first mobile phone? I had the original nokia bruh 679) What is your first proper memory? Parents fighting 680) Who was your first teacher? Good old cougar Mrs Briggs 😂 681) Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? From Ireland to London 682) Who was your first best friend? Probably Mike 683) What was your first detention for? I was like 8 and I hit a boy for demanding a kiss from this girl 684) What's your strongest voluntary muscle? Not even going there 685) Who was your first kiss? Ashley, we were like 12 686) What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema? Simpsons Movie 687) What thing that you've made are you most proud of? Lot of charity 688) Could you ever be someones bodyguard? Dk 689) Michelangelo's David... Masterpiece or filth? Eh 690) Do you like other people buying you clothes? No 691) Have you ever brought a present for someone that they hated/disliked? Yes 692) What nicknames do you have/have had? Don't really have one, pretty lame 693) Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Yes 694) Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes 695) Have you ever carved a pumpkin? No 696) Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Bad 697) Do you prefer giving or recieving gifts/help etc? Giving 698) If you were a member of the spice girls, what would your spice handle be? What 699) If you were to become a famous singer, what would your debut album be called? "Needles & Threads" or "Judas' Kiss" 700) If you could join any music group which would you want to join? Nine Inch Nails cause damn