#(<----- past experience... x.x)

[dailynakaharachuuya]

3,000 followers art raffle!

Thank you so much for 3000 followers!! As I said previously, I am hosting a raffle!

How to enter:

🎩 Like this post! 🎩 Reblog this post! 🎩 Follow this blog!

Art raffle ends 13th October 2024!

Raffle prize for the winner is a fully-illustrated and rendered piece of our dear Chuuya!! Any pose, any outfit, and any background; it is to your choosing!

Enjoy!

(Winner will be chosen via a random pick spinning wheel!)

[chiconisroc]

Appreciation post, thank you peeps <3

Hopefully this doesn't seem like I'm just showing off, but yeah, wanted to celebrate the story for hitting past 2.5k kudos and thank peeps for supporting it - which I usually do when I hit each 500 increments and I just realized I forgot to do when it happened x.x.

But for reals, thank you all for the support you have given to this story. This wouldn't have reached to where it's at without you - especially thanks for the reactions with Starscream's confrontation with Megatron, my favorite chapter v.v. I really appreciate all the comments/reviews/kudos/fanart. It's cool to read everyone's reactions and analyzes, and just makes my heart warm to see fanart done for the story too :'3. I even got a folder for it started with the collection <3

Still can't believe I had it in hiatus for like 9 months before. Slap me across the head if I do that again v.v. I will continue to do my best to keep at the story - it's been a fun experience, especially giving Starscream some love <3 - and angst >:3, LOL. And there is so much story to tell still and drama to happen, to definitely get ready for it :)

Again, thank you all for the support so much <3. And thank you @lunareader for beta reading the recent chaps <3 and @deadlysoupy for the earlier ones <3

Link to the story for new peeps:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49066954/chapters/123790612

[hollemi]

Some sprite art of AUBREY as imagined by the lovely @sweggyq!

A teensy tiny project for the past couple of months, I managed to put together something I feel like sharing :) (for real though, this stuff is absolute OCD hell x.x)

I had barely any experience making stuff like this when I started, but I kept going despite my deteriorating mental health with every redraw. It's obviously still nowhere near perfect, but for the sake of my well-being I present these two animations :D

[anthonyscandlelight]

….Kinda find it funny how you threatened me if I “ever came into your DMS”, but whatver!

The reason I dislike Cozette’s portrayal, MAINLY FOR CHASE , is because she GAVE HIM NPD? “Narc Chase”. Selfish. You mean selfish. Narcissism is a fucking mental disorder. Also! On Gordon korman’s blog he literally confirmed Chase doesn’t have NPD (https://gordonkorman.com/forum?t=27655) so her hc is invalid! Also, headcanoning that is extremely abelist because chases main arc is a REDEMPTION ARC and he shows NO “narcissistic tendencies” since the fall, her headcanon makes it seem like NPD can be “cured” and makes you a bad person. THATS WHY I HATE IT. it sickens me to see disorders still stigmatized to this day. It makes it seem like if you have NPD you’re automatically a terrible person. And that suddenly you don’t have it after having a traumatic experience, like what the fuck?

Yeah. Thanks for nothing.

So now you’ve moved on from targeting Cozette to dragging me too. Cool. Just making sure we’re all aware this is the third or fourth anonymous message you’ve sent about this, across multiple inboxes. That’s not “criticism” anymore. That’s harassment.

Let’s unpack your message, shall we dear anon? Now that you’ve so graciously come at me:

You claim you’re upset about ableism, but instead of talking to Cozette like a respectful person, you’ve decided to spam our blogs anonymously. That’s not advocacy. That’s being a coward.

If you truly cared about mental health representation, you’d reach out constructively, not mock people’s headcanons with “Narcc Chase” and “X.X” like a 2007 YouTube comment section.

You quote a Gordon Korman blog post like it’s scripture. Headcanons are not canon. That’s the whole point. We’re out here making art and exploring ideas, not writing for Scholastic. Headcanons literally not canon THAT IS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT YOU IDIOT

And don’t act like you’re calling out stigma when your tone is aggressive, accusatory, and drenched in bad faith.

You’re not defending people with NPD. You’re just mad someone made a headcanon you don’t like, and instead of scrolling past like a normal person, you’ve decided to launch a whisper campaign. Real mature, anon. Real mature..

So let me say this plainly: If you’re so concerned about how people interpret fiction, maybe worry less about character portrayals in a fan server you're not even in, and more about how you treat real people online. You’re acting like I have something against people with NPD, which I literally don’t. I was just trying to defend my friend. Still behind anon too. Harassing us for what we do with books charecter who are — might I mind you — ARE LEFT UP FOR INTERPRETATION.

even if don’t quite fully understand NPD, I still try to treat people with it with basic respect. It seems like you’re coming at me and saying I don’t support people with NPD. Correct me if I’m wrong.

You’ve crossed a line. Leave us alone. Or come off anon and confront us yourself.

[magebunkshelf]

Do you have any tips for writing genderfluid characters?

Ooh that's tricky (and I'm really sorry for the slow response! Been very busy on my end recently x.x)

I definitely can't speak for everyone who is genderfluid but these are my thoughts from how I personally experience things;

I suppose my first thought is what do you want to say about the character? What is it about the character that makes you think they would be genderfluid? And I guess it's worth also asking if it's a good reason, if what you want to say about them is a fair one.

Also what does genderfluid mean to them specifically? Do they err towards one gender over others? Do they feel one gender more strongly or more frequently than others? What's the gender gamut they run? Do they experience male and female? Female and agender? Three or more? Do they experience the gender that matches how they were assigned, or not at all?

How do they express it? Do they have different styles for how they feel, or do they dress more neutrally to fit more circumstances? Are they out and open about their identity? Do they even know or understand their own gender?

How do they typically see themselves, and what do they call themselves?

From my own stories, Nem is non-binary and is unused to being open about it because of their past, but is now around people who care. Mitch on the other hand is likely fluid or NB of some flavour but is a little blind to his own gender because he's had very little opportunity to consider these sorts of things - he considers himself male because that's just all he knows and has never really questioned it or even what it means, it's a bit meaningless to him. He'd just as soon wear a dress because it felt fun at the time. Honestly I don't think Mitch has the words for it and just hasn't had the space or context to ask himself the questions. I suspect Nem has probably clocked him but lets him figure things out, or not! Mitch is fairly unbothered by it, while Nem on the other hand is exiled for a reason.

I think just treat them like a person, and ask yourself some of these things, how do they see themselves, and how violently does this image of themselves change? How do they fit into the world they're in?

Not sure how helpful this was, it's tricky to talk in the abstract! If there's anything else you'd like to ask please feel free! <3

[chelseahotel2004]

haiii cleo first of all your sylvie lockscreen is so cute i love her hair <3 second of all what was your initial inspiration for blue contact and what are some of the influences you’re drawing from? also one time you mentioned time travel and i would love to know more about that aspect hehe

awwww thank you jules you are too kind!! ❤️😋 i wasn't originally going to put this under a cut but i got carried away with this ask LOL so ummmm.. good luck down there. huge kudos to anyone who actually reads this mess. i love you

there are two massive works of inspiration that i owe so much of the creation of blue contact to! the first is the song 'UFOF' by big thief. words genuinely cannot describe how important this song is to me - if they could i would not have spent the past three years working on a three volume graphic novel. the first time i listened to it i genuinely sobbed like im talking aching in my chest/utterly inconsolable. i knew there was something special in the song, but i didn't know just quite what. i started listening to it on repeat in an attempt to figure out just what it was that caused me to have such an intense reaction to it. every time i listened i found a tiny new sliver of a story about two sisters and an alien, and that story ended up being blue contact! i always say that i didn't "write" the story of blue contact and this ^ is the reason why; sylvie and mags were always there and i just had to find them. it's kind of like that michelangelo quote about seeing the angel in the marble and setting it free (not comparing myself to michelangelo here obviously LOL, just the concept). at the risk of sounding like a total crazy person i will say that truly sylvie isn't a character to me but an independant being/idea who i just so happened to be lucky enough to connect with in some way, which is why i am so desperate to tell her story ^_^ if im being SO genuine blue contact is my burden to bear and it has kept me going through so much... like in my hardest times i think 'well i can't kill myself yet because i haven't had the chance to share sylvie's story and i owe it to her to set it free/i can't let it die with me'. which may sound dramatic but is true!!!! because of my obsession with blue contact i have listened to UFOF so many times that it has actually become my second most listened to song of all time, being just narrowly beaten out by 'say yes' by elliot smith. i would post lyrics but this is already getting too long and every single lyric is equally as important as the next so just go listen to UFOF

the second major source of inspiration behind blue contact is the webcomic [:x.X//<angel_chain.05>\\X.x:] by cate wurtz! angel chain really did two things for me: firstly, it helped me decide that a graphic novel would be the best medium for telling the story of blue contact. i never intended to write a graphic novel (too much work to do writing AND art), but angel chain proved to me that it was the right choice. sigh. anyways, the relationship between edie and rue in angel chain helped to cement the dynamic between sylvie and mags for blue contact. obv angel chain and blue contact are very different stories, but it really helps to see a model of something similar to what i'm trying to achieve. anyways ily cate wurtz you are my icon

onto the time travel stuff! lowkey i shouldn't have teased the time travel because actually getting into what happens would mean spoiling the largest and most important arc/volume 2 lollll. so please forgive me for how vague and unsatisfying this is 🙏 what i WILL say is that it is not "time travel" in the traditional sense. the perspective of vol. 2 shifts over to that of the lady of perpetual flames - who i'm now realizing i haven't actually addressed much in any of my posts, sorry - who is in a sense a timeless being. she doesn't experience time in a linear fashion, but in a fragmented one. kind of like how a spider web is made up of with different linear threads that attached to each other to form larger image, if that makes sense? since the narrative is kind of taken over by the blue lady here, the perspective of time shifts accordingly, and we get to see scenes from janet+mags' early life before sylvie joined them, as well as seeing what future-sylvie is up to! in all these scenes 2007-sylvie is still there, but not in a "physical" way - more in the sense that her connection to the blue lady carries her along throughout time and makes her into the throughline that allows the events of the plot to happen without the entire universe collapsing in on itself. sylvie isn't the spider: she's the two twigs that the spider weaves her web between.

anyways i hope this was interesting and/or informative !! i love this story so thank you for giving me an opportunity to ramble about it jules !!!!!!!!

[ayahachitwister]

Ive been wanting to use A03 for a while to post my writing for a while but I’ve been struggling to use it. I’m pretty new to it & I get frustrated when using it since I don’t really have experience using it yet. So if it’s alright, how do you use it?

To be honest, I’m not fully sure how to answer this… I just go to the ‘Post’ button at the top of the page, then ‘New Work’, and then just follow the prompts.

If you start typing in the fandoms, characters, relationships, and additional tags thing, it’ll come up with suggestions for you based on what you type. Half the time, I don’t even know what tags to put in, so I just look at my past stories for help.

If you have a more specific question about it, or about what categories you don’t get, I can try to help there? But I’d feel awkward making a guide on all the prompts it gives ‘cause I feel like I’d just be rewording what a lot of sections state… They all have a question mark by them, too, which have a lot better info on what each section’s for than I can give. x.x’

[newspressx]

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[zenkitsune]

Time Is Moving So Fast + Random Thoughts ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Time is moving soooo fast. It always had for me, but there's so many things happening everyday and so many things to come and I'm having a delightful stressful time catching up ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡🪐༘⋆

I haven't been writing down stuff on here or in my journal for what seems like forever cause my brain is empty and every hour of the day feels like 5 minutes (except at my retail job 💀) BUT NOW on this Sunny Sunday (at the time of writing this) I will use my click-clack keyboard to share random stuff cause why not <3

I made a post on Instagram the other day about the collection of "Work in Progress" works that I have... really put things into perspective 😭 Thankfully, since I feel kinda alive this weekend, I have worked on one and then some of my wips. One being my copic Haikyu illustration.

I don't use copics a lot, but I want to use them more and ooohhhhhh boi aren't they an experience 💀 I messed up big time on the curtains and to fix them, I cut out the curtains and taped the illustration to a blank piece of another Bristol board and started over. I would've cried if I messed up that 2nd piece XD I'm happy I finally finished this piece though because it took a while (also because I ran out of ink in some markers... copics expensive why did I do this to myself-)

I also redesigned a cover I did for a comic I made a few years ago, I really like it, but the text hurts my soul and I really gotta figure out a fun and comfortable way for my to digitally color.

2025

2023

Today, I was gonna continue to work on my 2nd volume of my zine series "Otome for my Sins" (and I did work on it a little), but I also gathering some artwork I have to see what I would like to sell at art markets. I really want to start to vendor at places, but I always don't think I have nothing that people would want or have anything at all. But I think I have a few decent stuff that I've made recently that I can probably start off with selling, hopefully. Now I just gotta do research (again) with manufacturing prints and stickers.

For prints, I plan to use Mixam, I just gotta fix my files up so the print quality will be nice. As for stickers, that gonna be something I'll have to work on a lot more 😭 I also plan to sell my zines, that's why I really gotta work on my next volume.

As I am typing this, I have hope and motivation, but most days lately I have none of that x.x That's why things have been a struggle. However, one day at work, I was rambling about how I need to find a new hyperfixation (cause I'm just floating with nothing to focus on rn), but my coworker told me that I gotta hyperfixate on my art... AND SHE'S SO RIGHT 😭😭😭 That has stuck with me for the past few days, so I really gotta keep this in mind. NO MORE SCROLLING ON MERCARI, FACEBOOK MARKET PLACE, DEPOP, AND R/MANGASWAP!!!

I think that's all for my rambles for now :3

[bloodblanks]

o ya ofc its no problems ! after finishing the last one i rb'd i looked around your blog for more stuff to read and realized you write for fem readers even when you use you/your pronouns and keep the reader themselves vague so its easy ish to ignore anyway i think and the gender neutral reader thing was probably not fully intended in the first place i dont understand chinese but i do know bits of japanese from studying it some years ago which Is the language the game is set on originally and yeah pronouns wise its definitely more like you/me/they (masc) since the word for they is "karera" , (kare) being a japanese they pronouns for male/gender neutral so like him and (ra) making it a group thing but maybe i should double check bc they could also have used yarera which is more gender neutral (?) iirc, asian languages from my experience doesnt really have gendered pronouns like that its always you, me, those dudes BAHAHAHAH but also in general the game uses very broad terms so a lot of things can be used for that word, like chainsaw and scissors are nothing alike but both are called "cut tool" because that Is what they do, and the assortments of weapons/tools stuff that mr silvair has are just called "tools", so i thought itd also make more sense to use they since its more broad than she/him

regardless of what prns youre gonna use for the mc i think ill grit my teeth about it or copy paste everything to my private dc group ( of 1 person ) ( me ) and just replace the prns myself GHAHEHAHSHEAJE SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE and also thank you for your service . very little good scarletella content around since everyone is bonkersmaxxing with mr crawling ( i dont blame them ) but UE UE UMREDLLA

hii don't be sorry for the ramble ! i appreciate the response ehe <3 sorry it took me a minute to get back to this i've been screaming crying throwing up trying to write new chapters (i'm ok tho dw) but you do make a good point with the vagueness of the language. i think they/them is a perfectly valid interpretation, i just went with context dependant pronouns since it's what i'm more used to writing as well ^^

also yes my writing is intended to have a female reader but to be honest i know that not everyone reading my work likes feminine labels and whatnot and in general i try to keep my y/n's as vague as possible especially when it comes to appearance because everyone is different and i want my work to be insertable for as many people as possible x.x i mean the point of a reader insert is for the reader to be able to envision themselves like idk personally it really annoys me when i'm reading a fic and they're like 'you put your hair up in a ponytail' or something or describe reader's clothes caus like. idk man i don't wear ponytails or jeans and not everyone even has long hair and it just kinda breaks the immersion a bit and so i try really hard not to do the same in my own work.

i have tried writing gn readers too for better inclusivity but i struggle a lot with using they/them pronouns in my writing caus sometimes it can get confusing as to who i'm referring to and then it makes me a little bit insane because i hate when things aren't perfectly clear and spelled out so i just went back to using she/her...

anyway sorry for yapping so much, thank you for reading and supporting my work :)

[kuratm]

what was the first fandom that you roleplayed within? & what are your top five fandoms to RP within?

number 5 ... what are your top five fandoms to RP within?

oh, gosh, that's a tough question (at least, in my personal opinion). lemme be real, i've been within SO many fandoms that i've lost count - what hyperfixation does to you, y'know?

if i have to choose, however, i think this would be my list (this is about to get long, bc i can't shut the fuck up, so i apologize in advance) ...

RESIDENT EVIL. while my time with this particular RPC was brief, i have to put RE first 'cuz from my experience, i've had the most fun time there, ever! back in 2019, i made a blog for steve - an underappreciated character who deserves more attention but capcom keeps cucking me - fearing that i'd be booted out for writing someone the fandom isn't keen on. imagine my surprise when i ended up not only receiving appreciation for the effort i put for this dude, but ALSO having a select few telling me i changed their opinion on steve! i still feel giddy whenever i remember those times, ngl. oh, and i've met few friends whom i'm really close with and in contact with, to this day, so yeah ... i had a wonderful time in this fandom.

DANGANRONPA. okay, so ... i'm only putting DR second mostly cuz i was in this RPC the longest (about 6-7 years) so y'know, i have a LOT of memories from that time. some of them are bad - i've seen and been through a lot, lemme tell you - but there's also the good, which i try to remember more of. i've met some of my longtime friends there, whom i still talk to in present times, and had a lot of fun building up on my portrayals of characters i wrote (and still do). my most written one, however, was mondo ... lord, i've written and yapped about this mf so much that i've been dubbed "mama oowada" (still makes me chuckle a lil cuz #nostalgia). regardless of the games not aging well, i still hold them dear to my heart, as well as the good memories i made in this fandom.

HOYOVERSE. gotta put these damned gacha games third, cuz' they STILL ruin my life with their characters. although the fandom has a lot of ... rotten apples, shall we say, i still have quite a lot of fun with the hoyo muses i write. although as of right now, i'm mostly focused on H/SR, when it comes to roleplaying, since uh ... yeah, i'mma be real, i've long lost interest in g/enshin. i still have muses from g/enshin, but they are mostly written based off of past events and my own interpretation of them. still have fun writing when i can, though!

TWISTED WONDERLAND. ah yes, the didney game with didney villains as anime boys - we love to see that! this is another fandom which also has it's rotten apples (keeping it real here, gamers), but i still manage to have fun writing my silly fellas AND oc's for this particular fandom! additionally, i probably made the most crossovers-ish with the muses i write in this RPC - like silver with his gen/shin and HS/R verses, for example - as well as come up with unique oc's that fit this game's aesthetics. overall... just trying to find fun in the chaos that is this fandom, LOL.

KINGDOM HEARTS. alrighty, soooo, i haven't EXACTLY been involved in the RPC, per se - seeing that i've yet to actually write the muses from this messy franchise, ahems - BUT, speaking from extensive plotting i did for my girl here, for this verse? VERY FUN, imo! the lore and timeline for these games are a fucking mess, so i just took it with a "go get 'em" attitude and have fun with creating something unique yet somewhat cohesive enough to write with others! i should indulge more in this RPC, honestly, but so far, fun time writing in this fandom .. at least for my oc.

again, i am so sorry this got long... i had a LOT to yap about. X.X

number 12 ... what was the first fandom that you roleplayed within?

oh dear lord, are we talking the first fandom on THIS SITE, or like ... the ACTUAL first fandom?

i'll assume it's the latter, 'cuz i first begun when i was a wee lass ... about 12 or so, in SONIC fandom! i had an OC (yes, i had one of those "overly edgy" OCs) and i remember writing shippy stuff in private DMs. as for where i first started roleplaying, it was on ... *sighs* ... deviantart. don't even ask me what kinda unhinged shit i've seen on there.

i don't really remember much of it, but i know damn well i wrote cringy shit. besides that, though, i also drew and posted a LOT of shadamy fanart on my account, cuz' i shipped them hard (i still do, LMAO).

a mun ask ... accepting!

[ihopesocomic]

That low-empathy anon made me see red a little because like. As an autistic person with low empathy towards people, like really low at times, I'm gonna hope they aren't thinking this about like, other autistic people with such a thing, or adhd folks who have low empathy (Heck, my sister does too). Not to go on a tangent but Storm having low empathy made me so happy, because sometimes I never notice other people's feelings. I'm also a lot of an ass ngl, I have a really hard time being considering of people's feelings, or even feeling what I think I'm supposed to feel in situations. If you told me why am I not crying at a family member's death when other people are I'd be bothered af because wow thanks, but that doesn't make me a .... psychopath. Wow, and you're talking about being ableist, anon. There are actual psychopathic people that exist I am SO TIRED of people throwing that around and I don't even have psychopathy =3=)

Nobody deserves less kindness just because they don't process/notice others emotions the way 'normal' empathetic people do. Nor are those that question said low empathy obligated to be close to us. All we ask is to like, understand it and be patient. The complete lack of empathy towards us that struggle with it don't help one bit. Ironic even.

It makes Hope's patience and willing to banter with Storm's lack of said empathy when we saw it nice to see because I'd give for someone like that. It's upsetting yeah, but nobody with low-empathy is gonna like, secretly hurt you or something or think less of you deep down for thinking differently than us. Storm was really upfront about how she didn't get why Hope would want to live in a situation like that, and Hope gave back her piece on the matter. Hope was willing to talk to Storm about the whole pride thing. Even if it made things a little complicated and awkward given their upbringings (and Storms past experience with them as seen in the recent PMV especially, man I'd love to see that talked about eventually), Hope was willing to discuss it nonetheless. And didn't think any less of Storm afterwards.

I'd even say I have higher empathy for fictional characters than people, because I've connected with them better than actual people, and they don't question my empathy problems and blah blah, I'm rambling rn, but funny how the brain work.

@ That anon, please understand that Low empathy havers don't want to hurt you just because we don't get certain things, and we will not call you ableist if we did hurt you, that has nothing to do with our struggle with empathy, you definitely didn't make yourself look better asking that, and nobody will take being called a psychopath lightly regardless of their empathy level. So I can't say as a low-empathy haver that you are on our good graces with that ask. But please, do your research, ask folks with low empathy what it's like so that you can get different viewpoints, it's a lot more complicated than you made it sound anon, and preferably next time, do not villianize us and deem us as secretly evil or something like that after you do so. x.x

All of this. Thank you, anon, and I'm very sorry that you and others here had to be exposed to that last anon's bulllshit. Normally, we might have deleted an ask like that but sometimes this kind of stuff needs to be called out.

Oh, and if the last anon is reading this: I'm just gonna come out and say you were being ableist. Don't really care if you're disabled or not. How dare you come onto this blog and insult an entire group of real people over fictional lions. The hell is wrong with you? We're not changing our comic to be as vindictive and mean-spirited as My Pride was: deal with it. It's also real funny how the initial criticism of the comic was that it's "too much like My Pride" and now we have to read garbage about how we need more ableism "because well that's why My Pride was entertaining for me" because the comic is heading in its own direction now. Because that's 100% what this is all about. As I've said before: I'm done being nice to people who simply view our comic as the best of a bad situation because it's highly unlikely My Pride will continue. If you like My Pride for its rampant ableism and trivialising oppression for plot beats: re-watch it to your heart's content. Because we refuse to accommodate this kind of mindset and have our comic fill that weird void for you.

If anybody here thinks this kind of talk is remotely OK because "Storm and Hope's relationship doesn't have enough drama for me because they don't trade enough insults over their respective disabilities": piss off. Our comic isn't for you. - RJ

[chiconisroc]

Have you seen this review of your fic? (Sending in another ask cause I don't want people to think I'm trying to stir up trouble)

I appreciate that everyone has their own unique perspective. It's interesting to see my fanfiction being rated, as fanart doesn't typically receive ratings, which seems a bit unusual to me. Personally, I find it difficult to imagine giving an artist a rating for their artwork. I can’t even do so on a fanfiction either. Usually, I don’t care for a story, or I just love it, hahaha, but I never proceed with giving them a number. I'm not sure if fanart is typically rated by others; perhaps I'm out of the loop with such things?

Since the story hasn't reached its halfway point yet, there are many aspects that haven't been explored or will be addressed later. For instance, the puzzle… hehehe. The review was made before they read past chapter 20, so they didn’t get to see how Camila reached for the puzzle that was stored under her bed to bring along with them, so I didn’t forget about it ;3. So, it's intriguing to have a rating based on what has been presented thus far.

I would also like to emphasize the physical and mental challenges that Philip is going through in the story, from the beginning until now. He has faced near-death experiences with the Collector and has had Gus unearth memories that he had locked away for centuries. As a result, he hasn't had much time to gather himself and is struggling with his emotions/traumas that he shoves to the side a lot.

In my writing, I strive to create characters that feel realistic rather than conforming to the resilience typically seen in cartoons. Philip, being a 400-year-old man, carries a lot of baggage that is finally catching up to him mentally.

It's worth mentioning as a reminder that this is a fanfiction and not a fully edited and polished novel. Expecting perfection and have everything answered right away would be unrealistic, especially since I am constantly updating with new chapters more frequently than others :o. So, if there are some flaws in my story, which most likely there are, well, it is to be expected since I’m not an actual published author, and thus I’m practicing and learning to get better at writing so one day I can become an actual author one day : ). **This reminds me of the more recent question that if I were ever to rewrite the story. If i were to rewrite it, then yeah, for sure peeps would have a more published work which would be way better than it is right now, hahaha

That being said, I do appreciate the positive aspects the reviewer pointed out, which I find encouraging. To the person who wrote the review, if you would like, I can provide further explanation and defend the decisions made for the story through direct messaging. Rest assured, everything I write has a purpose behind it : ). And if you are enjoying the story now, then great! It's nice to have you along the ride with us : ). It's just always fun enjoying things together, hahaha

I won’t say more about the reviewer’s opinion since I’m currently working on the next chapter for the other story x.x, so… I got to write and write : ), hahaha

[not-poignant]

Hi! I’m currently having a hard time, with chronic pain flare ups, and am re-reading Eversion, one of my favorite works of yours. It helps. (I originally ended up playing the game thanks to it). I’m at Chapter 17: High Ball, and wondered how you go about writing and researching such an intense drug trip? It’s so good. Anyway you for writing such fantastic works.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about the chronic pain flare ups! They're such a bitch. The rheumatoid arthritis in my hands lately has been Cruel (TM) and it's definitely something you need comfort things for! I hope your flare eases sooner rather than later though <333

As for the High Ball chapter, I have a very unsatisfactory answer for you which is: 'I made it up.'

As in: 'I used my imagination because I'm a writer and wrote it based off what I imagine a really bad trip to be like. Especially because it was a synthetic drug so I didn't need to base it on anything real.'

The only thing I had to research were the names of the drugs used to make the drug itself, but I wasn't out there researching bad trip experiences / bad drug experiences. I know a little from research in the past on the use of LSD to treat PTSD (and some of the negative side effects of this), but yeah.

My job as a writer is to imagine things, and this is one of those areas where it's going to make everyone groan but I didn't do anything to 'go about writing/researching an intense drug trip' beyond sitting down and imagining Connor going through an intense drug trip and writing that.

That's my job x.x I don't research about 90% of the things that I write, that's what my imagination is fooooor. I do read a lot of non-fiction, which I think is good practice (it's good to have a scientific understanding of the body if you're going to be writing bodies and it's good to have a general understanding of mental health stuff if you're going to be writing mental health stuff - but the good news is a lot of naturally curious people learn things about this anyway).

Er so yeah, anon, I just... I just literally sat down and wrote it in one take. And that's how that scene happened.

[tswua-bunny]

Kinda astounding that people over the age of 21 have never been exposed to "reprehensible" kinks in the past decade of online experiences by how they react. You'd think someone legally allowed to drink would be able to handle themselves maturely about sensitive topics.

Its almost as if no one notices how much kink is in their lives without it being pointed out. Liking a specific body part is a kink. Liking lingerie is a kink. Liking a specific body type is a kink. Liking femme vs. masc is a kink. Finding athletic muscles hot is a kink. Finding makeup attractive is a kink. "Paraphilias" aren't a science, they're quite literally "socially unaccepted attractions". Until DSM-V homosexuality was a "scientifically" defined as a paraphilia.

That was 2013.

Mind you conservative people to this day STILL think homosexuality is a "perversion", that's why they try to associate kink and lgbt+. It's almost as if everyone and their cousin is raised in a sex-negative society, and lack the ability to relax around alternative expression.

You're kink positive or not. You're lgbt positive or not. Same difference. You support every kink in a "moderate" space, because YKINMKATO. People that spout Safe, Sane, Consenual are usually the type unaware of RACK, CCCC, and PRICK. Which means you're not educated fully on kink, sexual expression, and fetish etiquette. Nor are you qualified to discuss what does and does not belong in an open-community space of a wide variety of fetish content.

Ick/Squick and Hard Limits were terms used in kink that got commodified and lessened their importance. Everyone I see complaining that xyz taboo is "too far" or "disgusting and not allowed" have just learned exactly what their squicks are. Good job, now please calm down and realize people can be into "worse" things than you are. We're all freaks, just different types.

edit: the spacing was weird x.x

https://www.tumblr.com/adultcsvents/784959190231810048/i-think-the-main-difference-in-someone-using?source=share

see, the problem with this is nobody can agree what the "middle ground" actually is. for some people a kink like, for example, painplay is the most morally reprehensible, extreme thing there is, whereas for other people it's super vanilla, barely even considered a kink at all. how do you decide who is right? how do you decide which kinks are not too extreme, and which ones are? you could say "well EVERYONE agrees XYZ kink is extreme" but... does everyone? I never even CONSIDERED that feral porn could be considered "extreme" until I saw people clutching their pearls over it for lusthounds, and I've been talking kink with people for ages. is oviposition extreme? is furry porn extreme? I don't know, because no single person seems to agree.

in the end, trying to create a "moderately kinky" space won't work because everyone's idea of "moderately kinky" is different. censorship is a slippery slope, because doubtlessly you will get users demanding the censorship of a kink that you wouldn't consider extreme at all. the best solution remains a robust tagging system, which, from what I've read, lusthounds implemented.

Replying to this.

- Mod Eggplant 🍆

[phagechildon]

Soo that darker themed Sasamiya/Kagihira Halloween idea? It’s a thriller slasher type, so naturally, warnings for violence, blood, and such. It’s rated M for mature. A classic horror movie type deal XD It’s not written out like a story, just my ideas, most of them more detailed - the outline of it basically XD Past tense and present tenses are all mixed in whoops. I’d write it but it’d be super long and I need to focus on my Sasamiya fic Haze x.x 

They go to a pumpkin patch for Halloween. There’s a corn maze for children and it’s packed, so they go to the hedge maze which is an oddly long walk from everything else. The hedges are pretty tall, even Sasaki and Kagiura can’t see over the edge when they jump (or with Hirano sitting on his shoulders). 

Screams are heard throughout the maze, making them uneasy. They chalk it up to just being Halloween gags, but then a hedge comes up between them, pairing Miyano and Kagiura together and Sasaki with Hirano. The sound of chainsaws go off right after, nearing them.  Sasaki tries to jump the hedge, but gets badly cut by barbed wire that’s inside the fake bush. Taking a closer look, they see not only barbed wire, but also glass, knives, razor blades, etc, making it impossible to climb or even try to fit through. All the hedges have this. 

With terror for themselves and each other, the chainsaws grow even closer, making them realize if they used real blades that cut Sasaki’s hand and knee up pretty badly, those were probably real chainsaws with crazy people controlling them. 

In sync, the chainsaw men turn the corners and into the group’s view at the same time, hardly giving them any time to reach as they make a mad dash for them. Miya and Hirano try to tell the the “actors” that they want to leave and that this isn’t funny, but they don’t listen. 

Kagi grab’s Miya’s wrist and pulls him out of the way, seeing the man plunge the chainsaw right into the hedge where he’d just been standing. If he hadn’t moved Miya, Miya would’ve been impaled They all run, Kagi pulling Miya along while Sasaki and Hirano had a similar experience. 

All of them hope and pray everyone’s safe, and that their friends keep their boyfriend’s safe. When the guy pursuing Kagi and Miya catches up, they notice he no longer has the chainsaw, but a sword instead. The chainsaw must’ve gotten stuck and broke because of the hedge and all the metal/sharp things in there, which is good for them but now they have to figure out how to disarm him. However Miya’s only good at running short distances, so he’s starting to falter. Kagi’s super athletic so he’s kinda frustrated that Miya’s holding him back from finding Hirano, but would never leave him (he’d never leave anyone behind, especially a friend). Instead he makes Miya hop on his back once they gain enough distance, giving him a piggyback ride until he feels like he can run for a bit again (much to Miya’s absolute frustration). 

Hirano and Sasaki are fairing a little better, but Sasaki’s the one that is starting to lag behind as Hirano is more athletic. Their guy still has his chainsaw, and both agree they have to figure out how to disarm/disable it because Sasaki won’t last much longer. A risky plan that may result in one getting hurt (not too bad cause they still have a longggg night), they manage to disarm the guy and even pin him (Hirano doing most of the pinning and questioning. Imagine him sitting on him, grasping his shirt, fist ready to punch him in the face again(?) )). They hear voices and sounds so Sasaki cautiously takes a peak around the corner, only for the maze to shift (which they learned the maze is always shifting) and blocks them off from each other. Hirano tries to pry info from the guy, but all he’s doing is laughing over and over again, pissing him off. He punches him a few times, but he’s still laughing. Searching he finds rope, unnerving him, but uses it to tie him up. There’s a lot of rope, duck tape, zip ties, etc, along with what looks like drugs of some sort in pre prepped needles. He throws a rope and knife over to Sasaki to use if need be, and they both are forced to go their separate ways

Hirano runs into Kagi and Miya, glad to see they’re okay (though Miya looks exhausted, cheeks completely flushed red and panting hard), and manages to reassure him that Sasaki has a weapon to protect himself with now, all they have to do is find him. 

Along the way, Miya spots a hole in one of the hedges, and upon closer inspection, sees a car. Hopeful, and wanting to do something useful (feeling useless), he very very cautiously goes in, having the other knife Hirano stole from the guy. A little ways in, Miya hears insane laughter and Kagihira freaks out, meaning there’s another psycho there. They don’t say anything to him, probably not wanting to give it away that Miya’s in the hole, so Miya keeps going, trying to figure out what to do when he did make it out to get help for everyone. When he finally peaks out, he sees a few cars, only for his hair to be violently grabbed and pulled by it. Miya shouts, one hand instinctively moving up to hold the attacker’s wrist while the other swings the knife around. Someone kicks him in the head after he feels the knife hitting something that felt like someone’s leg (and he’s horrified before disoriented). He tries to recover quickly, managing to get up and turn only for his hair to be grabbed again, something poking his neck. Fire rages inside his body as he’s injected with something, and with adrenaline he swings the knife again, this time it getting stuck. As he’s passing out, he sees it in someone’s leg, not too deeply and starts losing consciousness.  

On the other side of the hedge, back with Kagihira, there’s two people going at them. They manage to knock one out, and they think they got the second only for them to trick them and lunge up at Hirano with a shard of glass. Kagi pushes Hirano out of the way, getting stabbed in the side, and in a blind rage Hirano attacks the other guy, almost hurting him too badly when Kagi stops him. His faltering voice makes Hirano panic and go back to his side, his mom mode coming out as he quickly takes off his jacket and manages to use it to wrap around the wound. 

“Why the hell would you jump infront of the glass you idiot!!”

“Because… I didn’t want to see you get hurt,” Kagi smiled warmly, his bloody hand cuffing Hirano’s cheek. Realizing what he’s done, he apologizes profusely while Hirano angrily pulls the fabric tighter, making the wound hurt on purpose. 

“And what made you think I wanted to see you hurt, dumbass!!” Hirano is of course very worried for Kagi but doesn’t know what else he can do aside from wrapping the wound tightly. He calls for Miya, asking if he’s found the exit, but the silence is so unnerving he goes to the hole, seeing Miya gone. There’s something at the very end of the maze on the ground. Taking out his phone, not wanting to leave Kagi alone who can’t lean down, he goes to picture mode (no cell service obviously) and zooms in, seeing it’s the knife he gave Miya with what may be blood on and around it. 

Panicking even more, Hirano’s now stuck with the choice of leaving Kagi injured and by himself, or going to find Miya who may have run away and could be fine. 

The man drags Miya to a place where there’s a tripod set up, asking the viewers what he should do to his newest victim (while tying and gagging him), creepily calling him a beauty and such, being really gross and inappropriate. It’s revealed this is all being streamed, this whole “event,” and while the guy waits for people’s responses on what he should do to Miya (mostly sexual and mutaliting things), the two fangirls who always show up with Sasamiya accidentally walk into view (they sadly got dragged into this XD). The man tries to “scare” them off, but they obviously recognize Miya and manage to make the guy chase after them.

Sasaki hears people screaming and peaks around the corner since the screams are going further away, and his blood runs cold seeing Miya tied up and gagged. He runs over, mortified, unable to wake him. He notices the camera set up right infront of him and rages, saying if anyone’s fucking watching that they’re sick pieces of shit and if they had any sense of human decency or emotions they’d call police to come save them, telling them where they are (at such and such farm in the back trapped in the hedge maze). Sasaki’s never lost his cool like this before, but not knowing if Miya’s okay, his life - his world, he spirals into darkness again. 

Naturally he unties and ungags Miya and carries him bridal style for a while, hoping beyond hope he’d see the other’s eyes staring into his own when he eventually glanced down. Eventually he can’t hold him like that anymore, and instead moves him so Miya’s on his back (with much difficulty). 

Eventually Miya wakes up, completely out of it and drowsy. Sasaki practically collapses on the ground and pulls Miya into his arms, finally taking a long needed break. Miya reveals he can’t see and he’s scared, which makes Sasaki hold him tighter, fearful too but manages to stay calm for Miya’s sake. 

Miya manages to convince Sasaki to search again (Sasa was fighting because he wouldn't be able to carry Miya without more rest), saying he trusts him to guide him so he walks slowly behind him, hands tightly holding one another. His eye sight’s getting a little better, seeing dark outlines of things. 

The ground underneath Miya is suddenly gone, Miya stepping on something (a trigger trap) that Sasaki missed. Sasaki barely manages to tighten his grip in time, nearly falling in himself. They hear a chainsaw getting close to them, and Miya looks bravely and solemnly into Sasaki’s eyes, telling him to let go. 

“You gotta let me go-”

“No-”

“You can’t lift me up and I’ll fall anyway if they kill you! You have to let me go!”

“I am NOT dropping you!!” 

“I can’t live knowing I’m the reason you died!!” Miya lets go of the hand that was holding the other’s wrist, making Sasaki slide more inwards as he tightens his grip on Miyano. 

“Don’t you fucking let go Yoshikazu, I can’t live in a world without you!!” The sheer tone and roughness surprises Miya, almost wanting to listen to him because he loves Sasaki so much hearing him like this makes him cry. But the chainsaw sound is getting closer, he can hear the footsteps thundering closer. 

As hard as it is, Miya gives his best, biggest, warmest smiles that’s filled with all the love within himself, tears falling endlessly. “I love you, Shuumei. I love you so much. Please escape, for me, and find happiness again.” His fingers uncurl from Sasaki’s, the realization in his lover’s face bone chilling. “Thank you for showing me what it’s like to love and be loved.” Thanks to the blood on Sasaki’s hand, Miya slips from his grip. The look of utter devastation as if he was told everyone he ever loved had been violently killed makes Miya lose his composure, only to grow surprised seeing Sasaki coming in after him (narrowly escaping the chainsaw man). He manages to hold Miya’s hand. 

“My happiness is you.” Everything goes black.  

Miya comes to first, out of it, almost forgetting what happened. He hurts all over, but panics as he realizes Sasaki is lying still. He shakes him. “Sh-Shuumei, Shuumei Wake up! Please, please you have to wake up!!” 

Eyes open in such a small slit Miya almost doesn’t realize it. “Mm ake,” Sasaki struggled to mutter, probably trying to say ‘I’m awake.’ His voice is so weak it terrifies Miyano out of his mind. 

All the while Hirano helps Kagi walk around, the wound getting worse as he’s losing more and more blood. At some point Kagi staggers, legs giving out, and Hirano stops, knowing anymore will kill him. Naturally the basketball player assures him that he can keep going, even if his voice is fading along with his sight. He’s so pale Hirano starts thinking of the worse possibilities, all of which are too much for him to bear. 

Probably more stuff happening to Kagihira, but can’t think of it right now x.x

Half way through Hanzawa and his brothers, who are enjoying the pumpkin patch, hear people whispering and talking about some nightmare level livestream happening and that they should leave. He asks someone if he can look and goes cold in fear when he sees a guy with a mask kneeling down in front of Miya when he’s unconscious. He grabs the phone from the stranger and looks through the comments, seeing other links to other videos, the previews all showing people, some he knew, in the maze. Just as he reaches for his phone to call Hirano, Sasaki shows up, and he watches and listens, learning he’s at the same place he is, but hasn’t seen a hedge maze advertised. Pulling the stream up on his phone, him and his brothers find the maze, call the cops, and enter, wanting to help as many people as they can. They’re smart and bring stuff to protect them in too. 

It’s either sick psychos coming together or a cult. They spent months making the hedge maze and one of the owners of the pumpkin patch are one of them, wanting money and fame from the streams. Though later they claim they had no idea there was even a hedge maze there and that they’re horrified to learn about what happened!

Naturally everyone lives cause I don’t like killing characters, and they have a lot of trauma and healing but they live happily ever after with bonds far stronger than before~